Original subtitles

FINALLY, THE LAST FORM OF THE DAY.

WELCOME TO STAMPYTOWN, POPULATION FIVE.

AND NOW FOR THE FINISHING TOUCH.

AH, THE CYCLE OF BUREAUCRACY.

SWEET GORILLA OF MANILA!

A LETTER FROM THE CENTRAL BUREAUCRACY.

"ATTENTION, HERMES CONRAD.

"YOU ARE ABOUT TO RECEIVE A LETTER

FROM THE CENTRAL BUREAUCRACY."

MY GOD!

IT'S FROM THE CENTRAL BUREAUCRACY!

I'M HAVING A POKER GAME TONIGHT

WITH SOME FRIENDS FROM MY OLD CRYOGENICS JOB.

YOU GUYS INTERESTED?

I DON'T KNOW.

I ONLY GAMBLE WITH CHUMPS.

I'LL PLAY.

I'M IN!

LEELA, FRY, ROBOT

NO MATTER WHAT IT IS YOU'RE DOING TONIGHT

I'M AVAILABLE.

WE'RE PLAYING POKER.

BUT I'M WARNING YOU

MY FRIENDS ARE SERIOUS PLAYERS.

BAH, BIG SHOTS.

I SAY LET THE DICE DO THE TALKING.

[ Humming ]

WOW, YOU LOOK HAPPY.

IS SOMEONE FIRED?BETTER.

THE CENTRAL BUREAUCRACY

IS CONDUCTING AN INSPECTION TOMORROW.

I WILL FINALLY BE PROMOTED TO GRADE 35

THE 35th HIGHEST GRADE THERE IS.

HERMES, WAIT.

WE'RE HAVING A POKER PARTY.

STAY AND WHIP OFF

A BATCH OF YOUR FAMOUS JERK DIP.

SORRY. I SPENT ALL DAY

PUTTING MY OFFICE IN ORDER.

NOW I GOT TO GO HOME

TO RELAX THE TRADITIONAL JAMAICAN WAY.

A GLASS OF WARM MILK AND A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP.

JAMAICAN? I THOUGHT YOU WERE

SOME KIND OF OUTER SPACE POTATO MAN.

[ Doorbell Rings ]

AH, THAT MUST BE MY OLD BOSS.

HELLO, LEELA. YOU'RE FIRED.

I KNOW.

I'M SORRY, BUT IT'S JUST THAT YOU'RE

OVER A YEAR LATE FOR WORK AT THIS POINT.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

SO I TOLD LEELA

"YOUR REQUEST FOR A DATE IS MOST FLATTERING

"BUT I MUST DECLINE.

"THESE OFFICE ROMANCES NEVER WORK OUT.

AFTER ALL, THAT IS HOW I MET MY HORRIBLE WIFE."

[ All Laughing ]

THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

BUT YOU NEVER WORE YOUR RING.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A WIFE.

AND MY WIFE DOESN'T KNOW I HAVE A JOB.

I KEEP MY PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL LIFE SEPARATE.

COME ON, LET'S DEAL.

YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO TALK WHEN YOU'RE POOR.

WHAT'S WITH THE SPECS, BENDER?

THEY'RE MY LUCKY SHADES.

I STOLE THEM OFF SOME LUCKY GUY

WHILE HIS LUCKY SEEING EYE DOG WAS TAKING A WHIZ.

EH?

[ Loud Chomping ]

[ Spitting Sounds ]

HEY!

I CAN'T SPELL ANYTHING WITH THESE CARDS.

[ Bender Humming ]

FINALLY, I HAVE A GOOD CLAW. SEE?

THREE HUMAN FEMALES, A NUMBER

AND A KING GIVING HIMSELF BRAIN SURGERY.

IT DOESN'T MATTER

HOW MANY HUMAN FEMALES YOU HAVE.

BENDER'S ON A HOT STREAK.

WHAT CAN I SAY?

MUST BE MY LUCKY SHADES.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Beeps ]

NOTHING. NOTHING.

CRAP. CRAP. GARBAGE.

READ 'EM AND LEAK SALTWATER.

[ All Grumbling ]

MY BABY'S MILK MONEY!

[ Bender Laughs ]

OH, I AM BROKE.

WHAT WILL I TELL MY HORRIBLE WIFE?

IF I WERE YOU

I'D BE MORE WORRIED ABOUT THAT TAPEWORM

GOING TO TOWN ON YOUR INTESTINES.

LET ME SEE THOSE GLASSES.

[ Coughs ]

UH... UH...

OH, MY VARIOUS GODS, X-RAY SPECS!

GUYS, UH, I SWEAR THOSE ARE PRESCRIPTION.

I NEED THEM FOR READING STUFF...

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF STUFF.

YOU CHEATER.

BREAK HIS NECK!

NO, DON'T HURT HIM.

HE'S MY BEST FRIEND.

[ Grunts ]

[ Panting ]

[ Bender ] HEY, YOU WOULDN'T HIT A GUY WITH X-RAY GLASSES, WOULD YOU?

[ Loud Crashing And Banging ]

EASY ON THE ARM!

OH, MY ASS!

OH! OW!

[ Scatting ]

[ Gasps ]

GREAT COW OF MOSCOW!

UH, IT WAS GHOSTS.

BIG ONES.

AND A TORNADO.

OH! I'LL NEVER PASS INSPECTION NOW.

THEY'LL BUST ME LOWER THAN A LIMBO STICK

AT CARNIVAL TIME.

AND THAT'S AS LOW AS LIMBO STICKS GET.

AW, HEY, COME ON, DON'T WORRY.

WE'LL WATCH YOU CLEAN UP.

IT'S TOO LATE.

THE INSPECTOR WILL BE HERE IN EXACTLY ONE SECOND.

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

MORGAN PROCTOR, BUREAUCRAT, GRADE 19.

HERMES CONRAD, BUREAUCRAT, GRADE 36.

ENOUGH FRIENDLY BANTER.

SHALL WE BEGIN THE INSPECTION?

THIS WAY, PLEASE.

GEEZ, HERMES, YOU SEEM AWFULLY CALM ABOUT THIS.

DON'T WORRY.

I HAVE A PLAN.

I'M GOING TO JUMP!

[ All Gasping ]

NO!NO!

[ Bender ] DO A FLIP!

DON'T DO IT, HERMES!

YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!

I GET IT. REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY.

PLEASE, OLD FRIEND, DON'T JUMP.

USE ANOTHER METHOD THAT WON'T DAMAGE YOUR LIVER.

OTHER PEOPLE NEED IT, YOU KNOW.

HUSBAND, NO!

OUT OF MY WAY, WIFE!

I WASN'T CUT OUT TO BE A BUREAUCRAT ANYWAY.

I'M ONLY ANAL 78.36% OF THE TIME.

I'M NOT WORTHY TO STAMP A FORM

SO I'LL STAMP THE PAVEMENT WITH MY FLABBY BODY.

BUREAUCRAT CONRAD

IF YOU COMPLETE YOUR DEATH TRANSACTION WITHOUT FILING

A SUICIDE AND/OR FALLING ACCIDENT PERMIT

YOU WILL BE POSTHUMOUSLY DEMOTED.

LIFE, DEATH--

EITHER WAY I'M DEMOTED TO A TINY CUBICLE.

[ Shivering ]

SWEET SOMETHING OF... OF SOMEPLACE.

AS YOUR SUPERIOR, I HEREBY RELIEVE YOU OF DUTY.

CONSIDER YOURSELF ON PAID VACATION.

OH! THE ULTIMATE PENALTY.

I RECOMMEND THE HEALTH CURE

ON SPA FIVE, THE SAUNA PLANET.

HERE, READ.

SPA FIVE? IS IT GOOD?

OH, IT'S WONDERFUL.

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT

BUT THEY GIVE ME A BUCKET OF KRILL

FOR EVERY PATIENT I SEND.

NATURALLY, I'LL HAVE TO ASSIGN A BUREAUCRAT

TO FILL IN FOR HERMES WHILE HE'S AWAY.

I ASSIGN ME. I ACCEPT.

WELCOME ABOARD.

THEN IT'S SETTLED. HERMES WILL RELAX

AND ZOIDBERG WILL EAT. HURRAH!

I'VE BEEN REVIEWING YOUR CORPORATE RECORDS.

REGARDING LAST MONDAY'S DELIVERY

WHY DID IT TAKE TWICE AS LONG AS SCHEDULED?

FRY GOT HIS HEAD STUCK IN A CRATER.

I THOUGHT IT WOULD FIT.

AND DURING THIS PERIOD OF HEAD-CRATER INTERACTION

WHAT WERE YOU DOING?

MARTINI DRINKING CONTEST WITH THE AUTOPILOT.

I WOULD HAVE HAD HIM THIS TIME, BUT WE RAN OUT OF OLIVES.

I CAN EXPLAIN.

YOU REALLY THINK

YOU CAN EXPLAIN HOW YOU LEFT PORT

WITHOUT A FULL COMPLEMENT OF OLIVES?

I THINK NOT.

WHAT IS THIS, HIGH SCHOOL?

LOCKER CHECK.

WHY ISN'T THIS JACKET IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?

WHAT?

THE ZIPPER.

IT SHOULD BE AT THE BOTTOM.

HEY, SOMETIMES A GUY GETS LONELY.

[ Insects Buzzing ]

I, I'VE NEVER SEEN

ANYTHING LIKE THIS.

WHY IS THERE YOGURT IN THIS CAP?

I CAN EXPLAIN THAT.

SEE, IT USED TO BE MILK

AND, WELL, TIME MAKES FOOLS OF US ALL.

YOU ARE ALL DISMISSED.

FRY, I WILL SPEAK TO YOU ALONE.

[ Gasps ]

[ Beeping ]

UH, WAIT. THIS IS THE OTHER FRY'S LOCKER.

I'M FRY WITH A P-H.

ADMIT IT, FRY, YOU'RE A SLOB.

A DIRTY, FILTHY SLOB.

DIRTY BOY! DIRTY, DIRTY, DIRTY!

WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE ANTI-DIRTY, NOT PRO-DIRTY.

I'M SURROUNDED BY NEAT FREAKS EVERY DAY.

THERE'S NOTHING KINKIER TO ME THAN A FILTHY SLOP JOCK LIKE YOU.

OH, STOP.

[ Both Moaning ]

NOW LISTEN, YOU FILTHY PIG

NO ONE CAN KNOW ABOUT US.

IF ANYONE ASKS, I'LL DENY IT.

JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER GIRL I'VE DATED.

[ Instructor ] AND TWO, AND THREE

AND FOUR, AND, COME ON, WORK THOSE ARMS.

[ All Grunting ]

THIS IS NO SPA. IT'S A FORCED LABOR CAMP.

CURSE THAT DR. ZOIDBERG.

IF I GET OUT OF HERE

HE'LL BE LOOKING DOWN THE BUSINESS END OF A SHRIMP FORK.

GIVE HIM ONE FOR ME, TOO, MATE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I GO TO HIM.

I DON'T MISS TWICE, CAMPERS.

[ Morgan ] AND FOR THOSE 6½ REASONS

I AM DEMOTING LEELA TO COPILOT.

"COPILOT"? UNDER WHO?

THE AUTOPILOT.

THAT DRUNK?

[ Laughing ]

MR. BENDER, YOU ARE

NOW IN CHARGE OF COORDINATING

THE PROFESSOR'S BODILY FUNCTIONS.

[ Gasps ]

THAT'S A FULL-TIME JOB.

AND, FRY, AS FOR YOU

I AM PROMOTING YOU TO EXECUTIVE DELIVERY BOY.

YOU WILL NO LONGER GO ON DELIVERIES

AND YOU WILL HAVE YOUR OWN OFFICE NEXT TO MINE.

ALL RIGHT!

MR. BENDER, WOULD YOU HIGH-FIVE HIM

SO THAT WE CAN CONTINUE THIS MEETING?

AND ON THE REBOUND?

AH!

MEETING ADJOURNED.

[ Fry Belches ]

[ Belches ]

I CAN'T FIGURE OUT

WHY SHE'S SO NICE TO YOU, FRY.

SHE'S A HATEFUL MONSTER, THIS MORGAN.

SHE SCOLDED AND HIT ME.

I TELL YOU, SHE'S RISKING MY FRIENDSHIP WITH HER.

[ Leela ] BENDER! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

MORGAN MADE ME WALK THE PROFESSOR.

THERE WE WERE IN THE PARK

WHEN SUDDENLY, SOME OLD LADY SAYS I STOLE HER PURSE.

I CHUCKED THE PROFESSOR AT HER

BUT SHE KEPT COMING, SO I HAD TO HIT HER

WITH THIS PURSE I FOUND.

AH, THE POINT IS, IT'S MORGAN'S FAULT.

THAT PENCIL-PUSHING SCAZ-WAG.

WHY, IF SHE WERE HERE, I'D--

UH-OH. IS SHE BEHIND ME?

NO, I'M IN FRONT OF YOU.

[ Shrieks ]

[ Doorbell Rings ]

MORGAN? IT'S 3:00 A.M.

I KNOW.

A SKUNK KNOCKED OVER MY GARBAGE

AND SUDDENLY, ALL I COULD THINK OF WAS YOU.

[ Hooting ]

MY GOD.

IT'S SO... REPULSIVE.

SO, UH, THIS IS WHERE YOU EAT?

EAT ANDSLEEP.

OH, FRY!

UH, WAIT!

BENDER'S MY ROOMMATE.

HE COULD BE BACK ANY SECOND.

NOT LIKELY.

I ORDERED HIM TO FLUSH OUT THE PROFESSOR'S EAR WAX.

HEY, FRY, I MADE YOU A CANDLE WITH--

[ Gasps ]

WHAT THE...?

OH, NOW I SEE.

NOW I GET IT.

NOW THE PIECES ARE FALLING INTO PLACE.

THE OFFICE, THE PROMOTION

THAT DWARF IN MY BOOK CLUB WHO STEALS MY OPINIONS.

IT'S ALL COMING TOGETHER NOW.

I MUST SAY THIS OPENS MY EYES.

ANOTHER CASE CLOSED, MY DEAR WATSON.

MORGAN, COME BACK.

HE'S STUCK IN A LOOP.

FOR I WAS BLIND BUT NOW I SEE.

THE CAT'S OUT OF THE BAG NOW.

MR. BENDER, ABOUT LAST NIGHT--

THAT WAS JUST A... A MISUNDERSTANDING.

OH, YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND?

WELL, LET ME EXPLAIN.

YOU WERE HAVING SEX WITH YOU.

NO, YOU SEE, A BUREAUCRAT OF MY RANK

ISN'T SUPPOSED TO FRATERNIZE.

THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO JUICY.

IT'S A FORBIDDEN FRUIT ANGLE EVERYBODY LOVES.

FIRST I'LL SAY, "YOU'LL NEVER GUESS

WHO SAW FRY AND MORGAN DOING IT."

AND THEY'LL SAY, "WHO, BENDER, WHO?"

AND I'LL SAY...

[ Voice Slowing Down ] "IT WAS LOVABLE OLD BENDER."

HEY, WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?

I DOWNLOADED HIS BRAIN.

EVERYTHING THAT IS BENDER IS RIGHT HERE.

HIS MIND, HIS MEMORIES--

HIS IN-YOUR-FACE INTERFACE.

[ With Monotone ] I AM BENDER.

PLEASE INSERT GIRDER.

BUT, BUT, BENDER NEED BRAIN FOR SMART MAKING.

WHAT DID YOU DO NOW?

STOP DOING THINGS.

I SENT THE DISK TO BE FILED

AT THE CENTRAL BUREAUCRACY.

I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO, FRY.

HE WAS A BAD ROBOT.

NO, HE WAS A BAD FRIEND.

I WANT HIM BACK RIGHT NOW.

THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE FILED A REQUEST 20 YEARS AGO.

[ Groaning ]

I'M SICK OF YOU AND YOUR BUREAUCRACY.

DIRTY BOY!

DIRTY BOY!

YOU AND MORGAN WERE HAVING AN AFFAIR?

I COULDN'T HELP IT.

SHE LOVED ME BECAUSE OF THE PART OF ME THAT'S A SLOB.

I LOVED HER BECAUSE OF THE PART OF ME THAT'S DESPERATE.

I AM BENDER.

PLEASE INSERT GIRDER.

POOR BENDER.

WITHOUT HIS BRAIN

HE'S BECOME ALL QUIET AND HELPFUL.

WE'VE GOT TO GO TO THE CENTRAL BUREAUCRACY

AND GET THAT DISK BACK.

OH, YES, WE MUST.

YEAH.

WHY?

WELL, THOSE ARGUMENTS ASIDE, WE'RE STILL GOING.

YOU CAN'T JUST WALTZ INTO THE CENTRAL BUREAUCRACY.

IT'S A TANGLED WEB OF RED TAPE AND REGULATIONS.

I'VE NEVER BEEN

BUT A FRIEND OF MINE WENT COMPLETELY MAD

JUST TRYING TO FIND THE WASHROOM THERE.

THEN WE'LL NEED A GUIDE.

SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN THERE BEFORE.

OH, I'VE BEEN THERE.

LOTS OF TIMES.

[ Insane Cackling ]

[ People Groaning ]

LOOK AT THAT.

THE CARTS GO OUT FULL, BUT THEY COME IN EMPTY.

IT'S CRIMINALLY INEFFICIENT.

QUIET, MATE.

PULLING THE EMPTY CARTS IS THE CLOSEST THING

WE GET TO SLEEP.

BUT DON'T YA SEE?

THEY COULD INCREASE EFFICIENCY FOUR PERCENT

IF THEY USED THE EMPTY CARTS

TO BRING IN HEAVY MINING MACHINERY.

HEY, I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK.

OH...!

OH, LORD.

[ Groaning ]

YOU KNOW, YOU OUGHT TO BE

A BUREAUCRAT OR SOMETHING.

[ Fry ] MAN, HOW LONG IS THIS

GOING TO TAKE?

I'M STILL WAITING ON MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

WELL, IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE

I'LL MAKE IT INSIDE WITH THE REST OF YOU.

BUT GOOD LUCK.

JUST LEAVE ME WHERE I DROP.

OH, GREAT.

SOMEONE HAD A BABY.

COME ON. I HAVE A BETTER IDEA.

EXCUSE ME.

WE'RE FROM THE PLANET EXPRESS DELIVERY COMPANY.

WE'RE HERE TO DELIVER A ROBOT.

I AM BENDER.

PLEASE INSERT GIRDER.

[ Man Laughing ]

LOOKS LIKE WE'VE GOT A NEW OFFICE CUTUP.

[ Man ] LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT!

I'M GOING TO CRASH MY SLOW-MOBILE.

I HAD TO SWERVE TO AVOID YOU.

WHILE YOU'RE CRASHING

COULD YOU TELL US WHERE ALL THESE CANISTERS END UP?

OH, YOU WANT CENTRAL FILING.

OKAY.

THANK YOU.

THANKS.

WONDERFUL.

NO!

CENTRAL FILING?

OF COURSE I KNOW WHERE THAT IS.

I'M A GRADE 20.

WHERE IS IT?

I CAN'T TELL YOU.

WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE? A GRADE 16?

[ Snorting Laugh ]

WE'RE GETTING NOWHERE SLOWLY.

HERE.

I'LL ADDRESS THIS TO THE CENTRAL FILING ROOM.

THEN WE'LL TRACK IT WITH MY WRIST LOJACK-A-MATER.

Cold.

Warmer.

Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.

WHOO!

[ Snoring ]

[ Growling ]

PLEASE DON'T TELL MY SUPERVISOR I WAS SLEEPING.

THIS IS IT.

WE'LL JUST RUN IN, GRAB BENDER'S DISK, AND RUN OUT. GOT IT?

[ All ] MM-HMM.

[ Gasps ] WOW!

WE'LL NEVER FIND THAT DISK, WILL WE, BENDER?

I AM BENDER.

PLEASE INSERT GIRDER.

YOU'RE RIGHT. NOTHING IS OVER

AS LONG AS THERE'S ONE THIN RAY OF HOPE.

[ Morgan ] LOST SOMETHING?

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU'D COME HERE

RATHER THAN FOLLOW PROPER PROCEDURE.

AND I DID KNOW, AND THAT'S WHY I CAME HERE.

LISTEN, MORGAN, WE'RE THROUGH.

YOU'RE AN EVIL, HEARTLESS WOMAN

AND I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

WOULD YOU HELP US GET BENDER BACK

FOR OLD TIMES' SAKE?

I'M AFRAID HE'S LOST IN THE MASTER IN-PILE.

AND IT WOULD TAKE SOME SORT OF GIANT

MECHANICAL ATOMIC-POWERED SORTING MACHINE TO FIND HIM.

[ Hermes ] YOU RANG?

DAMN IT, HERMES, JUST JUMP ALREADY.

STOP HOGGING THAT HEALTHY LIVER.

NO, I WANT TO LIVE.

ORGANIZING THAT FORCED-LABOR SPA

REKINDLED MY LIFELONG LOVE OF BUREAUCRACY.

MY HERMES GOT THAT HELLHOLE RUNNING SO EFFICIENTLY

THAT ALL THE PHYSICAL LABOR IS NOW DONE

BY A SINGLE AUSTRALIAN MAN.

BUT HOW DID YOU KNOW WE WERE HERE?

DR. ZOIDBERG BROUGHT US.

IT WAS ME.

I'M THE HERO.

REQUEST FOR EXPLANATION OF INCIDENT MEETING.

[ All Gasping ]

NUMBER ONE POINT ZERO.

NUMBER ONE POINT ZERO.

I HEREBY PETITION YOU FOR AN EMERGENCY SORT-AND-FILE

UNDER REGULATION TWO-POINT...

DON'T QUOTE ME REGULATIONS.

I CO-CHAIRED THE COMMITTEE

THAT REVIEWED THE RECOMMENDATION TO REVISE THE COLOR OF THE BOOK

THAT REGULATION'S IN.

WE KEPT IT GRAY.

SIR, PLEASE.

I MUST LOCATE THE DISK WITH MY FRIEND'S BRAIN ON IT.

VERY WELL.

BUT YOUR BUREAUCRATIC LICENSE WILL BE REVOKED

IF YOU FAIL TO SORT THE MASTER IN-PILE BY CLOSING TIME.

1:00 P.M.

THAT'S ONLY FOUR MINUTES FROM NOW.

REQUISITION ME A BEAT.

[ Pulsing Beat ]

[ Calypso Music Playing ]

♪ WHEN I WAS FOUR THERE WAS A HURRICANE IN KINGSTON TOWN ♪

♪ WITH A FOOT AND A HALF OF WATER ♪

♪ EVERYONE WAS ALL RIGHT, BUT I CRIED ALL NIGHT ♪

♪ IT BLEW MY ALPHABET BLOCKS OUT OF ORDER ♪

♪ AND THEY SAID THIS BOY'S BORN TO BE A BUREAUCRAT ♪

♪ BORN TO BE ALL OBSESSIVE AND SNOTTY ♪

♪ I MADE MY FRIENDS AND RELATIONS ♪

♪ FILE LONG APPLICATIONS ♪

♪ TO GET INTO MY TENTH BIRTHDAY PARTY ♪

♪ BUT SOMETHING CHANGED WHEN MY MAN TURNED PRO ♪

♪ I WAS SORTING BUT I WASN'T SMILING ♪

♪ HE FORGOT THAT IT'S NOT ABOUT BADGES AND RANKS ♪

♪ IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT THE FILING ♪

♪ PEOPLE ♪

♪ WE DIDN'T CHOOSE TO BE BUREAUCRATS ♪

♪ NO, THAT'S WHAT ALMIGHTY JAH MADE US ♪

♪ WE'D TREAT PEOPLE LIKE SWINE AND MAKE 'EM STAND IN LINE ♪

♪ EVEN IF NOBODY PAID US ♪

♪ THEY SAY THE WORLD LOOKS DOWN ON THE BUREAUCRATS ♪

♪ THEY SAY WE'RE ANAL, COMPULSIVE AND WEIRD ♪

♪ BUT WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, YOU'VE GOT TO DO WHAT YOU LOVE ♪

♪ EVEN IF IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA. ♪

ZOIDBERG!

♪ THEY SAID I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE A SURGEON ♪

♪ THEY POOH-POOHED MY ELECTRIC FRANKFURTER ♪

♪ THEY SAID I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T FLY WITH JUST ONE EYE ♪

♪ I AM BENDER ♪

♪ PLEASE INSERT GIRDER ♪

♪ EVERYBODY SING JAMAICA ♪

♪ JAMAICA ♪

♪ JUST THE BUREAUCRATS ♪

♪ JAMAICA ♪

♪ JUST THE GRADE 19s ♪

♪ JAMAICA ♪

♪ SING ME HOME ♪

♪ WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE YOU'VE GOT TO DO WHAT YOU LOVE ♪

♪ EVEN IF IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA. ♪

I'M BENDER, BABY!

PLEASE INSERT LIQUOR!

[ Cheering ]

CONGRATULATIONS.

WAY TO GO.

CONGRATULATIONS INDEED.

BUT YOU FINISHED WITH TWO SECONDS TO SPARE

SO I'M DEMOTING YOU.

A GOOD BUREAUCRAT NEVER FINISHES EARLY.

THAT'S OKAY, HERMES.

AT LEAST WE HAVE YOU BACK.

[ Morgan ] NOT YET, YOU DON'T.

I'M STILL ACTING BUREAUCRAT OF PLANET EXPRESS

AND I HAVE SOME CHANGES TO MAKE.

FIRST, FRY, YOU'RE FIRED.

SECOND...

NOT SO FAST.

WHILE I WAS SORTING

I CAME UPON A CERTAIN DOCUMENT

FILED BY ONE MORGAN PROCTOR.

FORM "B."

NOTIFICATION OF ROMANTIC ENTANGLEMENT.

THAT'S RIGHT. SHE FRATERNIZED ME.

THAT FORM ISN'T ABOUT YOU.

IT REFERS TO MY HIGH SCHOOL PROM DATE.

IT WAS A REGULATION DATE THAT ENDED

IN REGULATION DISAPPOINTMENT.

YES, BUT YOU ONLY STAMPED IT FOUR TIMES.

[ All Gasping ]

NO, NO.

I WAS YOUNG AND RECKLESS.

BUREAUCRAT CONRAD, YOU ARE TECHNICALLY CORRECT.

THE BEST KIND OF CORRECT.

I HEREBY PROMOTE YOU TO GRADE 37.

AND AS FOR YOU.

GUARDS.

BRING ME THE FORMS

I NEED TO FILL OUT TO HAVE HER TAKEN AWAY.

WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE I'LL BE NEEDING

MY HEROIC BUREAUCRAT BACK.

AT SEVERELY REDUCED PAY, OF COURSE.

[ Cheering ]

BETTER THAN NOTHING.

WHAT ABOUT ME? CAN I COME BACK AT SEVERELY REDUCED PAY?

YOU GOT IT, MON.

IN FACT, SEVERELY REDUCED PAY ALL AROUND.

[ Cheering ]

COME ON, WIFE.

LET'S BLOW THIS JOINT.

NOW IT'S TIME FOR MY SONG.

♪ WHEN I WAS TWO THERE WAS A TIDAL WAVE IN... ♪

AW!