Original subtitles

Honey unit, I'm home.

[ Gasps ] Monique!

Calculon!

[ Beeping ]

Oh, how I wish I could believe that.

You may be my evil half brother

but there's no law against murdering the other half.

[ Music Tinkling ]

[ Announcer ] All My Circuits

will be right back after this word from...

Slurm: It's highly addictive.

[ Surf Music Playing ]

Look. It's Slurms McKenzie.

He's the original party worm.

Ooh.

[ Women Giggling ]

Whimmy wham-wham Wozzle!

Let's party!

LOOK AT THAT WORM GO.

WHO SAYS THERE ARE NO MORE HEROES?

[ Surf Music ]

Hey, dudes, you could win a chance

to party with me, Slurms McKenzie

at the Slurm bottling plant on planet Wormula.

[ Announcer ] Just look for the golden bottle cap

inside specially marked cans of Slurm.

[ Gasps ] I won.

No purchase necessary unless you wish to enter.

Odds of winning mathematically insignificant.

I LIKE THOSE ODDS.

[ Can Rattling ]

[ Gasps ]

RATS.

JUST ANOTHER TOOTH.

AH...

[ Gulping ]

AW...

I GOT TO FIND THAT GOLDEN BOTTLE CAP.

I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE SO ADDICTED TO SLURM.

THIS IS NOTHING. BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL

I USED TO DRINK A HUNDRED CANS OF COLA A WEEK.

RIGHT UP UNTIL MY THIRD HEART ATTACK.

[ Groaning ]BENDER, WHAT'S WRONG?

I'M SICK. [ Sneezes ]

YOU POOR BABY. LET ME CHECK IF YOU HAVE A FEVER.

[ Sizzles ] OW!

ACCORDING TO BENDER'S TEMPERATURE GAUGE

WHICH I SUGGEST YOU USE NEXT TIME, LEELA

HE'S RUNNING A FEVER OF...

900 DEGREES.

[ Groaning ]

BENDER MON, LIE YOURSELF DOWN.

YOU'RE PAYING FOR THAT.

I'LL HAVE A LOOK BUT I REMIND YOU

I'M AN EXPERT ON HUMANS, NOT ROBOTS.

I'M NOT BENDER. I'M FRY.

REALLY? I THOUGHT YOUWERE THE ROBOT.

NOPE, HUMAN.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, SPARE ME YOUR LIFE STORY.

NOW, WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE TROUBLE?

MY TUMMY HURTS AND I'VE BEEN HAVING

THIS BURNING ELECTRICAL DISCHARGE.

MMM. DON'T WORRY, YOU'LL BE FINE.

OH, BOY...

I DIDN'T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL HIM IT'S FIN FUNGUS.

HE'LL BE FLOATING UPSIDE DOWN BY MORNING. TSK-TSK-TSK.

YOU SHOULD TRY HOMEOPATHIC MEDICINE, BENDER.

TAKE SOME ZINC.

I'M 40% ZINC.

THEN TAKE SOME ECHINACEA OR ST. JOHN'S WORT.

OR A BIG, FAT PLACEBO.

IT'S ALL THE SAME CRAP.

[ Coughs ][ Rattling ]

HEY, WHAT'S RATTLING AROUND IN THERE?

IT MAY WELL BE THE CAUSE OF BENDER'S ILLNESS

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, IT'S A FLIMSY PRETEXT TO TRY OUT MY LATEST INVENTION.

TO THE LABORATORY.

I CALL THIS THE F-RAY.

IT'S LIKE AN X RAY, ONLY IT ALLOWS YOU

TO SEE THROUGH ANYTHING-- EVEN METAL.

NOW, THE NEUTRINO BEAM IT EMITS IS A TAD DANGEROUS

SO YOU'LL NEED PROTECTIVE GOGGLES.

[ All ] HUH?

YOU MAY FEEL A SLIGHT STINGING SENSATION.

ALL OF YOU.

AHA!

THERE'S THE CAUSE OF YOUR ILLNESS.

HEY, THAT'S MY WATCH.

I WAS WONDERING WHERE I PUT THAT.

HEY! NOW I FEEL MUCH BETTER.

THANKS, PROFESSOR

AND, AMY-- SORRY I TOOK YOUR WATCH.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Coughs ]

WELL, I'VE GOT TO GO TAKE THIS SUIT

TO THE DECONTAMINATORS.

YOU TWO LOCK UP THE F-RAY, AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

DON'T LET IT FALL INTO THE WRONG HANDS.

[ Laughing ]

WHAT SHALL WE POINT IT AT FIRST?

I DON'T KNOW. TRY IT ON ME.

OW! MY SPERM.

WOW, NEAT.

MIND IF I TRY THAT AGAIN?

HUH! DIDN'T HURT THAT TIME.

OH, MAMA.

HOLD STILL, SEXY LADY.

[ Gasps ]WHAT'S WRONG?

THAT'S NO LADY.

[ Man's Voice ] DAMN, CHICO.

ONE MORE UPGRADE AND I'LL BE MORE LADY THAN YOU CAN HANDLE.

WHY YOU SO STUPID, STUPID?

HEY, BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS.

YOU COULDN'T AFFORD IT, HONEY.

MAN, ALL THIS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO RADIATION

IS MAKING ME THIRSTY.

AH! IF ONLY THERE WAS SOME WAY OF KNOWING

WHICH CAN HAD THE WINNING BOTTLE CAP INSIDE.

W-WHA-WHAT? I DIDN'T HEAR YOU.

I WAS TOO BUSY USING THIS F-RAY TO LOOK INSIDE OF THINGS.

WAIT A SECOND.

I'M GETTING AN IDEA.

NO. FALSE ALARM.

NO, YEAH, NO, YEAH, NO. WAIT.

NO, YEAH, YEAH. NO. NO. YES!

[ Wailing ]

[ Wailing ]

UH-OH. SORRY.

AH, THIS THING STINKS.

WE CHECKED 90,000 CANS OF SLURM

AND ALL WE WON WAS THIS JUNK.

I NEVER WANT TO SEE

ANOTHER CAN OF SLURM AGAIN. MAN, AM I THIRSTY.

FRY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

YOU DID IT, FRY!

YOU FOUND THE WINNING BOTTLE CAP.

WE WON!

[ Cheering, Choking ]

[ Murmuring ]

HEY.

[ Playing Fanfare ]

OOH. WOW.

WELCOME TO THE PLANET WORMULON.

I'M GLERMO YOUR GOLLYRIFIC GUIDE

TO THE SPLENTACULAR SLURM FACTORY.

UH-HUH. CAN WE HAVE OUR FREE SLURM NOW?

YOU'LL HAVE ALL THE SLURM YOU CAN DRINK LATER ON

WHEN YOU'RE PARTYING WITH MY GOOD FRIEND SLURMS McKENZIE!

ALL RIGHT! WHIMMY WHAM-WHAM WOZZLE.

LAY SOME SKIN ON ME, DUDES.

WOW. THE ORIGINAL PARTY WORM.

ARE YOU READY TO GET DOWN, GET FUNKY WITH US?

HE'D BETTER BE. THAT'S WHAT WE PAY HIM FOR, RIGHT, SLURMS?

RIGHT!

IN FACT, SLURMS HAS TO PARTY ALL NIGHT, EVERY NIGHT

OR HE'S FIRED.

ROCK ON.

BUT BEFORE THE PARTY

YOU'RE ALL IN FOR A FUNDERFUL TREAT.

A V.I.P. TOUR OF THE SLURM FACTORY.

ENJOY THE TOUR, DUDES.

I'M GOING TO GO LIE DOWN.

WELCOME, MY FRIENDS

TO THE WONDROUS WORLD OF WHIMSY THAT WE LIKE TO CALL

SLURM CENTRALIZED INDUSTRIAL FABRICATION UNIT.

[ Gasps ]

[ Professor ] OH, MY.

[ Bender ] LOOK, FLOWERS, AND A BOAT.

[ Rhythmic Grunting ]

WHO ARE THOSE HORRIBLE ORANGE CREATURES OVER THERE?

WHY, THOSE ARE THE GRUNKA-LUNKAS.

THEY WORK HERE IN THE SLURM FACTORY.

TELL THEM I HATE THEM.

[ Glermo ] AS WE SAIL DOWN THE RIVER OF SLURM

YOU'LL SEE OUR MIXOLOGISTS AT WORK.

THEY TAKE 900 OF THE FINEST INGREDIENTS

ADD A TOUCH OF CHILDLIKE DELIGHT

AND MIX IT ALL WITH GLACIAL SPRING WATER

FROM OUR GLACIAL SPRING WATER GENERATOR.

THEN, LAST OF ALL, WE ADD THE SECRET INGREDIENT

THAT MAKES SLURM SO DELICIOUSLY ADDICTIVE.

SO WHAT'S THE SECRET INGREDIENT?

IT'S WHATEVER YOUR IMAGINATION WANTS IT TO BE.

OH. BUT WHAT IS IT, REALLY?

THAT'S NOT FOR YOU TO KNOW.

NOW, OVER HERE, THE GRUNKA-LUNKAS

ARE INDUCING WUMPUS BERRIES TO RELEASE THEIR FLAVOR

USING SENSUAL MASSAGE.

PST. THOSE BERRIES. THOSE ARE THE SECRET INGREDIENT, RIGHT?

NO.

- YOU POSITIVE? - YES.

I'M JUST ASKING 'CAUSE THEY LOOK KIND OF SECRET.

ENOUGH!

THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER QUESTIONS.

WHY?HEY, LOOK.

THE DISGUSTING LITTLE MEN ARE STARTING TO SING.

♪ GRUNKA LUNKA DUNKITY DOO ♪

♪ WE'VE GOT A FRIENDLY WARNING FOR YOU ♪

♪ GRUNKA LUNKA DUNKITY DASIS ♪

♪ THE SECRET OF SLURM'S ON A NEED-TO-KNOW BASIS ♪

♪ ASKING QUESTIONS IN SCHOOL

♪ IS A GREAT WAY TO LEARN

♪ IF YOU TRY THAT STUFF HERE YOU MIGHT GET YOUR LEGS BROKE ♪

♪ WE ONCE FOUND A DEAD GUY FACE-DOWN IN THE SLURM ♪

♪ IT COULD EASILY HAPPEN AGAIN TO YOU FOLKS ♪

♪ SO KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN AND KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT ♪

♪ GRUNKA LUNKA LUNKA DUNKITY DUTT! ♪

HEY! I DON'T PAY YOU TO SING.

YOU JUST USED UP TODAY'S BATHROOM BREAK.

HARDASS.

I HEARD THAT.

NOW, ON YOUR RIGHT

YOU'LL SEE THE SLURM MASTER

CHECKING THE SLURM FOR COLOR AND BOUQUET.

[ Slurping ]

SO THIRSTY...

THEN HE TASTES IT.

HE TASTES IT AND TASTES IT, THEN TASTES IT SOME MORE.

UH, COULD I HAVE SOME SLURM, PLEASE?

NO FOOD OR DRINK ALLOWED ON THE TOUR.

YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT TILL YOU'RE PARTYING WITH SLURMS McKENZIE.

WHEN WILL THAT BE?SOON ENOUGH.

THAT'S NOT SOON ENOUGH.

HEY, WHAT'S BEHIND THAT DOOR?

NOTHING.IS IT THE SECRET INGREDIENT?

♪ GRUNKA LUNKA DUNKITY DINGREDIENT ♪

♪ YOU SHOULD NOT ASK ABOUT THE SECRET INGREDIENT. ♪

OKAY, OKAY, WE GET THE POINT.

I WAS JUST CURIOUS

BECAUSE OF THE ARMED GUARDS.

♪ GRUNKA LUNKA DUNKITY DARMED-GUARDS... ♪

SHUT THE HELL UP!

SO YOU'RE TELLING ME I COULD FIRE MY WHOLE STAFF

AND HIRE GRUNKA-LUNKAS AT HALF THE COST?

THAT'S RIGHT.

THEY THINK THEY HAVE A GOOD UNION, BUT THEY DON'T.

THEY'RE BASICALLY SLAVES.

[ Grunting ]

[ Straining ]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M DYING OF THIRST.

GRAB MY FEET AND DUNK MY HEAD IN SO I CAN DRINK.

NO. THAT'S MORONIC.

FINE. I'LL LET GO AND SWIM AROUND IN THE SLURM

AND DRINK AS MUCH AS I WANT.

HELP! I CAN'T SWIM!

OH...

[ Fry Gurgling ]

[ Gasping ]

[ Hyperventilating ]

[ Whistling Cheerfully ]

BENDER, WHY DID YOUJUMP IN?

EVERYBODY WAS DOING IT.

I JUST WANTED TO BE POPULAR.

[ All Screaming ]

[ All Screaming ]

OW!

WHERE ARE WE?

AND WHY IS THE SLURM POURING INTO THIS SEWER?

THIS ISN'T SLURM AT ALL.

SOMETHING'S ROTTEN ON THE PLANET WORMULAN.

LOOK AT THIS.

[ Creatures Sighing And Snoring ]

THIS ALL MUST HAVE SOMETHING TO DO

WITH THE SECRET INGREDIENT.

MY GOD!

WHAT IF THE SECRET INGREDIENT IS PEOPLE?

NO. THERE'S ALREADY A SODA LIKE THAT. SOYLENT COLA.

OH. HOW IS IT?

IT VARIES FROM PERSON TO PERSON.

[ Cash Register Dinging ]

OOH! HMM.

[ Light Music Playing ]

DO YOU HAVE ANY THAT AREN'T SO TIGHT AROUND THE THORAX?

YES. OVER IN...

SAY, WEREN'T THERE MORE PEOPLE IN YOUR GROUP

AT THE START OF THE TOUR?

HEY, YEAH. FRY, LEELA AND BENDER ARE MISSING.

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME.

[ Shrieking ]

[ All Gasping ]

QUICK!

[ Wormulans Grumbling ]

WHOO!

LOOK. SLURM!

FINALLY.

[ Gulping ]

OH, YEAH.

I'M NEVER GOING 12 MINUTES WITHOUT A SLURM AGAIN.

IT'S THE END OF THE LINE.

THIS MUST BE WHERE THEY PUT IN THE SECRET INGREDIENT.

WHATEVER IT IS, IT'S EVEN BETTER FRESH.

[ Slurping ] MMM. STILL WARM.

[ All Gasping ][ Creature Chomping ]

[ Loud Splatting ]

OHH!YACK!

AW! LORDY!

[ Gulping ]FRY!

WHEW!

[ Gulping ]FRY!

THAT'STHE SECRET INGREDIENT OF SLURM?

THAT'S THE ONLY INGREDIENT OF SLURM.

EWW-HOO-HOO!

[ Creature Growling ]

WHOA!

[ Creature Growling ]

[ Screaming ]

AW!

[ All Grunting ]

I'LL SAVE US!

YAH!

OH, THAT FEELS GOOD.

YEP.

WHEW! THANKS, BENDER.

[ Clears Throat ]

[ All Panting ]

THE EXIT. WE MADE IT!

[ All Gasping ]

[ Bender ] UH, YOUR MAJESTY

I BROUGHT THE PRISONERS.

WELL, MY CURIOUS FRIENDS, YOU LEARNED THE SECRET OF SLURM.

THAT CONCLUDES THE PORTION OF THE TOUR

WHERE YOU STAY ALIVE.

YOU WISH, YOU SLIMY WORM.

HI-YAH!

[ Creatures Snickering ]

OH!

GOOD WORK, GLERMO.

YOU HAVE PLEASED YOUR QUEEN.

THANK YOU, YOUR MAJESTY.THANKS, MA'AM.

HOW CAN YOU TRICK PEOPLE INTO DRINKING SOMETHING THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR BEHIND?

IT'S DISGUSTING.

IS IT? HONEY COMES FROM A BEE'S BEHIND.

MILK COMES FROM A COW'S BEHIND.

AND HAVE YOU EVER USED TOOTHPASTE?

WHOSE BEHIND DOES THAT COME FROM?

YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

LOOK, WE JUST CAME TO PARTY WITH SLURMS McKENZIE.

BY THE WAY, WHEN IS THAT SCHEDULED?

NEVER!OH!

TO THE TORTURE CAVE!

[ Loudly Chugging ]

YOU, MY METAL FRIEND, WILL HAVE THE HONOR

OF BECOMING 174 SLURM CANS.

AH, THIS TRIP IS TURNING INTO A BIG LETDOWN.

AS FOR YOU, YOU WILL BE SUBMERGED

IN ROYAL SLURM, WHICH, IN A MATTER OF MINUTES

WILL TRANSFORM YOU INTO A SLURM QUEEN LIKE MYSELF.

BUT, YOUR HIGHNESS, SHE'S A COMMONER.

HER SLURM WILL TASTE FOUL.

YES! WHICH IS WHY WE'LL MARKET IT AS "NEW SLURM."

THEN, WHEN EVERYONE HATES IT, WE'LL BRING BACK SLURM CLASSIC

AND MAKE BILLIONS. [ Crazed Laughter ]

OH... OH.

WHAT ABOUT ME?

YOU ARE FREE TO GO.

YES!

IF YOU CAN RESIST THIS CONCENTRATED SUPERSLURM.

WHOA!

[ Straining ]

IT'S SO DELICIOUS

YOU'LL EAT UNTIL YOU EXPLODE.

OH, WHICH REMINDS ME PUT A TOP OVER THAT SOFA, WOULD YOU?

BON APPETIT.

[ Muffled Grunting ]

MMM...

FAREWELL.

OH. AND CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN ON WINNING THE CONTEST.

[ Crazed Laughter ]

FRY, UNTIE US. QUICK.

HERE I COME.

LET ME JUST-- ONE MORE TASTE.

[ Slurping ]

MMM.

YOU PIG.

STOP STUFFING YOUR CRAW AND SAVE US.

[ Groaning ]

[ Crazed Slurping And Chomping ]

I CAN'T SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING.

ARE WE BONED?

YEAH, WE'RE BONED.

I CAN'T STOP EATING THIS DELICIOUS OOZE

BUT I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU DIE.

[ Grunting ]

[ Slurping ]

[ Grunting ]HURRY.

[ Bender ] WHAT'S HAPPENING?

OH.

[ Whimpering ]

WHEW!

WHOA-HO-HO! JUST IN TIME.

[ Screaming ]

NO!

[ Frantically Grunting ]

I COULD FIT IF I DIDN'T HAVE THESE DAMN ARMS.

[ Gnawing ]

WE'RE CLOSE TO THE EXIT. I CAN SMELL THOSE FILTHY ORANGE GUYS.

[ Slurms McKenzie ] STOP RIGHT THERE!

SLURMS McKENZIE!

SHH! I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME WITH YOU.

SAY WHAT?

I'M PARTIED OUT.

ALL I WANT IS TO STAY HOME AND RENT VIDEOS

AND WATCH THEM WITH A FEW FRIENDS.

IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?

FORGET IT, PAL.

IT SAYS ON THIS BOTTLE CAP YOU HAVE TO PARTY WITH US.

ALL RIGHT, WHEN WE GET TO EARTH.

BUT PLEASE, DON'T INVITE TOO MANY PEOPLE.

I WANT TO KEEP IT SMALL.

NO CAN DO, SLURMS.

[ Loud Rumbling ]

[ Growling ]

[ All Screaming ]

THIS WAY!

OH! OH!

[ Angry Groaning ]

SHE'S GAINING ON US.

GO ON WITHOUT ME. I'LL HOLD HER OFF.

BUT SHE'LL CRUSH YOU LIKE A WORM...

CRUSHING A SMALLER WORM.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

I'M SO TIRED OF PARTYING, SO VERY TIRED.

I'LL SAVE YOU THE ONLY WAY I KNOW HOW. BY PARTYING!

[ Dance Music Playing ]

BABES?

YES, MR. McKENZIE?

YOU'VE SERVED ME WELL

THESE 40 YEARS, BUT THIS TIME, I'VE GOT TO PARTY ALONE.

BUT...

THERE'LL BE OTHER PARTIES FOR YOU.

NOW GO. GO.

[ Loud Growling ]

♪ YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!

[ Weak Growling ]

♪ YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!

PARTY ON, SLURMS.

PARTY ON, CONTEST WINNERS.

PARTY ON.

[ Yelps ]

[ Grunting ] NO! WE'RE RUINED!

THEY KNOW OUR DISGUSTING SECRET!

[ Bawling ] OH, NO...!

[ Professor ] COMMISSIONER, MY CREW HAS MADE A HORRIFIC DISCOVERY.

IT SEEMS THAT SLURM IS PRODUCED IN A COLOSSAL WORM HEINIE.

Hmm. "Heinie," you say?

Why, with your testimony

we'll finally be able to outlaw this insidious Slurm.

OUTLAW SLURM?!

UH, DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO HIM, SIR.

Grandpa's making up crazy stories again.

I'm not your grandpa.

You're my uncle. From the year 2000!

Okay, Grandpa, we'll take care of the bad worms.

Don't you worry.

AH, I JUST WISH SLURMS McKENZIE

WERE HERE TO ENJOY THIS WITH ME.

YEAH, THAT SLURMS SURE LOVED TO PARTY.

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE ALL PARTY ONE LAST TIME FOR HIM?

FOR SLURMS.

[ All ] FOR SLURMS.

WHAMMY WOZZLE.

[ Dance Music Playing ]

[ Gulping ]

HEY, THAT'S NOT THAT BAD.

[ Loud Gulping ]

MMM!