Original subtitles

(exciting music)

(mysterious music)

(buzzing)

- Come back after church, huh?

(mysterious music)

- Go catch an early movie.

- I've seen everything in town.

Besides, they don't open until noon.

What infidel shall I say stuck his big foot in the door?

- Make it a double feature.

- You know, last summer Mr. Cherfur

had a bash outside Beirut.

A nice young man smiled at me across a crowded room.

The Colonel invited him out on the balcony

and there, overlookin' the peaceful harbor

and with elaborate courtesy, broke his jaw in three places.

(gasps)

(laughing)

(ominous music)

- In my country, the call to prayers start

at five in the morning.

It continues throughout the day.

It takes a strong faith

and an even stronger back to remain orthodox.

Once when I was young and impudent,

I questioned so early an hour,

but a holy man explained to me that the first prayer

of the new day must necessarily be sent up

at such an early hour.

Otherwise, it would surely be drowned out

by the whistling of starlings and the caw of crows,

a morning symphony which begins clock-like at 5:15.

- Where were you?

- Our contact was to be limited to the meeting we had

this morning and to that meeting only

unless I called you in the code I gave you in New York.

- When you didn't show up, I cut out.

Now, just give me the envelope.

- I gave it to you.

You were standing at the corner as agreed.

I reached out as I drove by and handed it to you.

- I don't run with liars or amateurs Colonel.

Get yourself another boy.

(dramatic music)

(crashes)

(cries out)

(thumps)

- Someday in an unknown place which waits for me

I will die, but not here, not today.

There is the matter of the remaining 10 thousand dollars

when you have completed your job.

Here that sound, Mr. Kades?

Not my prayers nor starlings, nor crows,

but a goose, the golden goose.

(footsteps)

- I guess what it was, all Americans look alike to you.

Why not?

I can't tell your crowd one from the other

with those sheets on.

Okay, you saw a guy, you thought it was me,

you made the pass, okay.

He'll open it, it won't mean anything.

Just give me your copy.

I'll take it from there.

(paper crinkles)

- Beneath what you call those sheets

he wears body armor at my insistence,

but a high-velocity bullet.

- I'm shooting him through the head.

(dramatic music)

(exciting music)

- What bugs me is I didn't even get a look at him,

he could've slapped a mackerel in my hand just as easily.

- That's what I like about manual labor.

- Why'd he do it?

Who was he?

- You climb into a ditch and then a guy says,

"Okay, Mack, dig.

"Dig it so deep, so wide, and so long."

So you dig.

- Mistaken identity maybe.

- At the end of the day you climb out, you stretch,

you look down at what you've done,

and there's the whole sweet mystery of life

right there at your feet.

All the problems solved.

So deep, so wide, and so long.

A ditch well-dug, you've got tired muscles

and no pressure on the brain.

- What are you talkin' about?

- Happy peasants.

- Okay, happy peasant, explain to me

why somebody slipped me a timetable

of some bigshot's whirlwind tour of Niagara.

Now, look at these events: Governor's reception,

Mayor's dinner, dedication ceremony, tour of the Falls.

(mysterious music)

Look at the way these lines separate the activities

between one and three the day after tomorrow

as though they were marking 'em for special attention.

- Maybe you can get Eliot Ness.

- CBI?

Yeah.

(mysterious music)

(buzzing)

(thumps)

- On second thought, please come in.

- Colonel Zaman?

- My first reaction was to run.

Or hide.

That's why I slammed the door in your face.

But then I said to myself, "Robin, why run

from the very thing you've been lookin' for all your life?"

A guy as rotten as you are.

You see, that's my problem, at least, that's one of 'em.

I love to be afraid.

Make me afraid.

- Boo.

(laughs)

- You can do better than that.

Or shall I mix you a pitcher of martinis?

- Well, two's usually enough.

- Whatever happened to men like you?

Rough and ready.

- Whatever happened to Colonel Zaman and who cares?

(laughs)

- If I ever have a son, I'm gonna teach him to hate women.

That way he'll make a lot of women happy.

He's out

for at least another hour.

That's another thing I like about you.

You don't say much.

- Well, strong and silent.

It goes with rough and ready.

Just a little more vermouth, please.

- To double features.

(splashes)

(ominous music)

- Come back in 10 minutes.

Now what?

- I told the CBI, then I figured I'd better--

- The CBI?

- Come and tell you.

Yeah, they took my statement.

They said something about a king

and you being in charge of protecting him.

- Remarkable.

Only the eyes are different.

- See, this guy drove by and I know it sounds ridiculous,

but slap, right in my hand like a process service,

some kind of a schedule.

(paper crinkles)

- You may have saved the life of my king.

At home, my army protects him,

but here on this trip when everyone is too trusting,

I can't be too careful.

- How's that go?

Uneasy is the head that wears a crown.

- Can you describe the man who gave you this?

- I'm sorry, I didn't get a look at him.

- I don't know your name.

- Stiles, Tod Stiles.

- And where can I get in touch with you, Mr. Stiles?

- Parkway Inn, but--

- Destiny,

kismet,

whatever it's called, brought you to me.

And you shall be rewarded, I promise you.

(ominous music)

(water rushing)

(buzzing)

- Yeah?

- Ah, what a dusty answer gets the soul

when hot for certainties in this our life.

(clicks)

(mysterious music)

(engine rumbles)

(water splashing)

- The wrong word put in the wrong breath.

That's how easily I could have betrayed myself.

He looks exactly like you.

- Where do I find him?

- You are not to go near him.

- Come, Colonel, where?

- I'm delaying the execution.

- Look, I happen to know you've got things all set up

in your country, so the minute I drop him,

your crowd takes over.

You couldn't stop now if you wanted to.

Don't you understand?

This only makes it interesting.

Up 'til now, it was a cakewalk.

Would you believe me, my country's paying me?

Taking your money for a turkey shoot.

Now, it's beginning to snap, crackle, and pop.

- How good bad music and bad reason sounds

when we march against an enemy.

(ominous music)

- It seemed like a pretty dry martini

'til I opened my big mouth.

If I hadn't asked for more vermouth,

maybe I wouldn't have gotten so wet.

- Next signal.

- I can park and wait.

- Nah, I'll grab a bus back.

I don't know how long it's going to take.

What can you buy for a mother who's got nothing?

- She's got you.

(laughs)

(engine rumbles)

(clicking)

- [Linc] Her birthday's Friday.

Sure it'll get there on time?

- [Woman] Oh, it'll go out this evening by air, sir.

Don't you worry.

(ominous music)

- Tod?

Hey, Tod.

Boy, talk about a quick change.

You just buy it?

Pretty classy.

- Gaberdine.

- I like the tie too.

I got Mom a robe.

Guess it's not very imaginative,

but well, she spends half her life in robes.

That's her uniform of the day.

I remember one she had when I was a kid.

Always smelled like bacon.

When I was overseas and I'd think of Mom,

I'd think of eggs sunny side up and a side of bacon.

That's a great way to remember your mother, huh?

Where'd you park?

- Across the street in the parking lot.

You go ahead, buddy, I'll catch up.

- I was wondering how long it'd take.

Before you'd remember that you were walking out here

without the clothes you came in with.

What's with the film?

- That's my present for Mom.

I thought I'd take some pictures of you.

(laughs)

(mysterious music)

- Corvette.

- Ticket?

- My buddy's got the ticket.

- Well, then we'll just wait for your buddy.

(mysterious music)

(clicks)

- The moment he's done, kill him.

Even as the king falls,

I want the life to be leaving Mr. Paul Kades.

Do not fail me, Kahwaji.

I am too fond of you.

Find him, stay with him,

live in his shadow until he and his shadow are one.

- Little bauble from Colonel Zaman.

You can't just ignore 5,000 bucks.

How many ditches you have to dig to earn five grand?

Of course, I'm not gonna keep it.

- $200 suits.

- What are you talkin' about?

- A $200 suit.

- I guess this just isn't my day.

$200 suits, $5,000 rubies.

- Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for my date

and don't offer me the keys to the car.

I dig buses and standing around in parking lots.

(clicks)

(ominous music)

- How are you, Tod Stiles?

My name's Paul Kades.

I'm here to kill a king.

You got plans for dinner?

We'll take my car.

(dramatic music)

(engine rumbles)

(ominous music)

One for the book, huh, kid?

Why not?

They finally ran out of patterns.

Ours in one of the better numbers.

How old are you?

- 28.

And you?

- It varies.

(engine rumbles)

(dramatic music)

- Where were you born?

- Under a neon light.

- But where?

- Look, kid, I know what you're thinkin'.

Forget it, we're not brothers, we're not cousins,

we'll never be friends.

North Dakota.

- I was born in Connecticut.

My father's name was Lee.

What's this about killing a king?

- He acts as though he knows he's being tailed.

I'll turn in on one of these houses.

Summers can pick him up at the next intersection.

- Mine was named Virgil.

He was a barber.

He always got the chair by the back wall,

never up front by the window, you know.

But why not?

He cut a lousy head of hair.

- What happens if I decide to jump out of the car?

(engine rumbles)

(door slams)

- It's all timing, isn't it?

(fires)

(ominous music)

(door slams)

What else do you want to know?

(ominous music)

(door slams)

(bell rings)

- Who are you?

Every nightmare I ever dreamed, every filthy thought,

every lousy impulse?

Are you the other side of me?

The discards of me?

- I'll be gone Wednesday and so will you.

(dramatic music)

(engine humming)

(mysterious music)

- Of course, we have no definite proof yet,

but circumstantial evidence is of such a nature

that I suggest, your majesty, urge

if you'll forgive so strong a word,

you don't disembark in Niagara Falls,

but continue straight on to Los Angeles.

- I am a simple man, not in all things you understand.

In the oil business, for example, I suppose I could

hold my own in say the Petroleum Club in Dallas, Texas,

but what does that mean actually?

After all, when one sits atop the sands

that sit atop an ocean of oil,

he better know the difference between sand and oil.

Wouldn't you agree, Mr. Pierson?

- Your majesty, an American agent

was shot and killed last night in Niagara Falls.

- Lamentable of course, but how can I believe

that my Colonel was in any way responsible?

- He was seen yesterday morning

talking to the man who shot the agent.

He made a call to a mobile telephone in a car

rented to a man using the name Paul Kades.

The call, obviously, in code.

He met him later at the American Falls.

There are other facts

that have just come over to me on the radio.

Your majesty, I strongly urge

you be suddenly stricken with virus.

Don't leave this plane.

(footsteps)

- Your majesty, Allah be praised

for carrying you safely across the seas.

- Allah and the State Department.

- I am at your command.

- Mr. Pierson, this is my sword and my shield.

Colonel Zaman, Mr. Pierson is from Washington.

Mr. Pierson fears I should be stricken with a virus.

- When has his majesty avoided danger?

- And when has there ever been any danger

so long as I have my Colonel, my sword and my shield?

- Everything awaits, your majesty.

- Then let us go.

(ominous music)

- That's ground zero

where I kill a king tomorrow at two o'clock.

It could have been any one of four other places,

but it came up there

and that's why you're in.

Because you work here.

It's like somebody pulled the strings

and put you of all people in this place at that time.

That's too bad

because when I kill you, it's like I'm killing myself.

You understand?

I never killed a king before, but I'm not impressed.

We all drop like laundry bags when it happens.

(gulls calling)

You know what impresses me?

You.

You and me.

That's the only thing in my whole life

that ever impressed me.

- When do you kill me?

- Any time now.

(dramatic music)

(bell ringing)

(chimes)

(ringing)

- Hello?

Well, if it isn't old five grand himself.

I had a great evening, Mr. Five Grand.

Stayed out 'til three, came back full of forgiveness

towards you, but you weren't here,

so as far as I'm concerned, you're right back on my list.

Oh, incidentally, you do remember

that we're due at work at three o'clock this afternoon

or have you retired?

- Cover for me, will you, buddy?

I got a real good thing goin' for me.

I want to stay with it.

You understand?

I'll see you in the morning first thing.

That's definite.

- No, I don't understand, but I'll cover.

I'll see you tomorrow, Bluebeard

and remember we're workin' the early shift.

- Yeah, I'll remember.

- Yeah.

(clicks)

(gulls calling)

(sirens wailing)

(engines rumbling)

(crowd chattering)

- Come on, come on, get back.

(crowd chattering)

(door creaks)

- Mr. Pierson, would you please excuse us for a moment?

(door creaks)

If I said to you, "My Colonel, by taking your own life,

"you will permit this life of mine to go on,"

would you kill yourself at this very moment?

- I am at your command, your majesty.

- I detest violence, as you know,

which accounts for my unpopularity.

Then let us accept the possibility that some zealot

has planned my death despite the arrangements you have made

to prevent such nonsense.

We shall outwit him.

You and I, Colonel, single-handed, we shall outwit him.

You shall wear my ceremonial robes, my headdress.

You will take my place at each public function.

Here in Niagara Falls, you will be king.

You will stay with the Colonel from now until we depart.

Do not leave him for a moment.

You see, I give you the most faithful of the faithful

to prove my love for you.

You and I are about the same size.

My body armor should fit you, but then,

what need is there for body armor in a city

where, as you say, all is well?

You are far safer in my ceremonial robes

than if I insisted you plunge this dagger

into your heart to prove your love for me.

- Allah wills, my king commands.

(dramatic music)

(gulls calling)

(bells ringing)

- Music to take a trip by.

(bells ringing)

Did you ever feel the gum just above your eye tooth?

Go ahead, feel it.

Big, isn't it?

Bigger than the rest of the roots.

That's what's left over, kid,

from the time we settled things with our teeth,

but the fangs wore off.

Now we got .38s instead.

(thumps)

(mysterious music)

I wasn't just torturing you, kid.

I was really tryin'.

(ominous music)

So long, kid.

I wouldn't sit around in that car.

I stole it this morning.

- You expect me to just wait while you kill a man

and not even try and stop you?

- I don't have any problem shooting other people,

kid, just you.

I'm goin' inside and I'm gonna meet your friend

and we're gonna go to work and when the king shows up, pow.

Once I'm in the clear, I'll let your friend go,

but if you try to stop me,

if you even breathe near a cop, I'll kill your friend dead.

To me, he's just one more white ant.

Take care, kid.

(ominous music)

- You're playin' it pretty cool.

Come on, Bluebeard, spill it,

the whole blow by blow.

- Who kisses and tells?

(sirens wailing)

(ominous music)

- [Agent] How about Fritz's for lunch?

(dramatic music)

- [Linc] Give me that big wrench, will ya?

(dramatic music)

(sirens wailing)

(dramatic music)

Thanks.

- Time for lunch, kid.

(sirens wailing)

- Look at that.

You're not eating, you on a diet?

- Come on, kid, I want to show you somethin'.

(water rushing)

- The treaty between the United States and Canada stipulates

how much water must be allowed to pass over the Falls,

so more water must pass over during the summer months

when the tourists come here from all around the world.

Now, the treaty says that at least 100 thousand cubic feet

per second must fall over the falls

during the daytime summer season

which ranges roughly from April to October.

(dramatic music)

- Back!

(dramatic music)

(gun fires)

(gun fires)

(dramatic music)

(guns firing)

(exciting music)

- Kades!

(gun fires)

(dramatic music)

(laughs)

- Better me than you, huh kid?

But why?

(dramatic music)

(exciting music)

- [Man] A Screen Gems presentation,

Herbert B. Leonard, Executive Producer.

(fanfare)