All language subtitles for Route66 - S04E22

(dramatic music)

- [Radio Announcer] The
search which has involved

Coast Guards, Navy, police,
and civilian air and sea units.

To this hour no
trace of the body

of Tod Stiles has
been discovered.

Meanwhile a drag net for
the taxi driver killer

has been clamped on
all roads and highways

in the Tampa Sarasota
area in what is said

to be Florida's most intensive
manhunt in many years.

(emotional music)

- I was trapped one
winter in a mountain pass.

Only one company of men left.

Short of food, cartridge
belts almost empty.

Below in the valley
I was besieged

by general Alcade
and his troops.

Above in the heights,
I was cut off

by general Montado and his men.

General Lopez, may
his soul rest in peace

had sent them after me while
he was occupied in the capital.

It occurred to me that
if Alcade, Montado, and I

were to combine our troops,
we could outnumber Lopez

and march into the
capital together.

All take nice, warm
baths, get a shave,

have a good meal, start
living the good life.

So, we did.

The moral is obvious.

Show Monty Musgrave
a happy family,

a united family, then
when he gives the money

to any one of us, we
divide it equally.

Isn't a solid one million
better than a shaky four?

- Michael, after you
marched into the capital,

what happened to the generals
Alcade, et cetera huh?

- That was a long
time ago, Otis.

Who remembers the tales?

- What kind of people are you?

- Oh my poor girl.

- Get away from me!

- Your niece here
says that one of you

or all of you killed
her husband, Tod Stiles.

- We understand, ma chere.

- He's the one.

- Who killed Stiles?

- Who sent me to South America.

- I never saw him
before in my life.

- Oh Michael yes, you did.

Don't you remember
that one time?

- Oh that's right.

I saw him releasing
the stern line

of a boat that
brother Leon bought,

or was it the bow line?

- Ah no, yes the stern line
it was, yes a splendid craft.

Accommodates 18, you know.

- They wanted Linc out of town.

- So Tod would be
an easier target.

- But the radio says
a cab driver killer.

- And the young man,
why are you so anxious

to establish a South American
alibi for yourself huh?

Officer, I suggest
that in this world,

friends one day,
enemies the next huh?

- I can't prove it yet, but he's

the man who hired
me, he's the general.

- Oh capitan, we are a
family besieged by tragedy.

I don't wish to
sound uncooperative,

but what have all
these wild accusations

about Michael and South
America got to do with

the business of
finding the killer

of Margo's beautiful young man?

I should think every
available officer

would be out trying to find the

fiend who did this
terrible thing.

- Just before the
ceremony you deliberately

made me suspicious so
I'd run out the back.

You had that cab already
planted, waiting.

- I forgive you, ma chere.

(tsking)

- Hold it.

Young lady, from the beginning.

- Last week my father died.

We all got telegrams.

I came from Houston,
Samantha from Paris,

Michael from South America.

- See, South America!

- Leon from Africa
and Otis from Moscow.

I was his only child.

And these four monsters are
his brothers and sister.

Tod Stiles was the boy my father

wanted me to marry.

They all think I married
him because my father's

will said none of us would
get anything if I didn't,

but I didn't marry him
because of my father's money.

I married him
because I loved him!

You see there's this
provision in the will

that says Monty, he was
my father's best friend,

has to give one of the six
of us four million dollars.

Only now that they've killed Tod

that leaves only five of us.

So you see it had to be them,

and that's why they did it!

- Miss Tiffin, and
you too young fella,

unless you have some proof
you better be pretty careful

what you accuse people of.

- Four million dollars,
isn't that proof?

- Why do they always
persecute the rich?

- Why not?

- Motive maybe, Miss
Tiffin, but not proof.

Sorry I had to trouble you.

- You and me, general.

Count on it.

Come on, Margo.

- Well, what about it?

Together or is it
every man for himself?

(pleasant music)

(chattering)

(ominous music)

(yelling)

- Oh man am I glad to see you.

Can't you even say hello?

(gasping)

- You're supposed to
be in South America.

- Well I'm sure
glad that you're not

where you're supposed to be.

Your voice sounds funny,
can I get you a drink?

- That Jezebel, you
should've heard her.

I'll explain everything
later darling,

when nobody knows where we are

in a private world of our own.

That's what saved
me, all the way down

with that water
coming up to meet me

just thinking of
that farewell speech.

- Should I call a doctor?

You could be all
busted up inside.

- Only my heart.

The rest of me is all
in one angry piece.

- How about a hot bath?

General Martin Jose Salvado.

That's what he called himself,

but when I got
there I was arrested

and almost got shot
because I knew him.

Well luckily I just
happened to mention

that he was still
alive and in Tampa.

Well they opened the
grave, no coffin,

so they decorated me
and shipped me home.

Well if he ever steps foot
in that country again,

uncle Michael has had it.

- Where is she?

- I was with her all day, Tod.

Nobody can pretend the
tears she's crying.

- No, you believe
that phony general.

- Well she went with
me to the police

and accused them
all of killing you.

- What's to prevent
them from killing her?

- Pitching horseshoes important

how did pick himself
a son in law?

Welcome back to
this old world, boy.

- I'm still at the
bottom of Tampa Bay.

- I guess so until
the 14 days are up

and I decide who to
give that money to.

Come in and have
some coffee with me.

- You ever hear of the
Count of Monte Cristo?

- That's a big order
boy, and you're messing

around with experts.

- Will you help us?

- Do you trust me?

- Sure!

- That ain't very flattering.

- Well you warned me
before the wedding,

that was straight talk, Monty.

- Help you?

You know that
wouldn't be ethical

me being the executor
and everything.

Tell you one thing son, I
ain't gonna let 'em hurt you.

Nobody gonna hear from
me that you're back.

So come on in and
have a little coffee.

- Can't you at least
tell us where Margo is?

- She's flying out to
Houston just about now.

- Thanks Monty!

- [Announcer] Flight 632
to New Orleans and Houston

now boarding at gate
four, all aboard please.

Flight 632 to New
Orleans and Houston

now boarding at gate four.

- Tod!

- Look, I've seen
people try this

when they've stuffed
themselves with a steak dinner

but never for a cup of tea!

That takes really
callous people.

- How much is the check?

- 16 cents!

(romantic music)

- Linc?

Don't just stand there like
a best man or something.

Here, go see if they'll
get my bags off the plane.

- Michael, Otis!

Leon!

Welcome home, ma chere.

- Why should I run away
from my own legacy?

Why knock myself out
in cotton futures

when I have a chance at a
four million dollar present?

And a leg up with Mr. Musgrave,

the poor grieving
widow and all that.

- Spoken like a
true Tiffin, tea?

- Lovely.

- After that you must excuse me

because I must get dressed.

Monty's coming for
me any second now.

Poor dear's fallen
madly in love with me.

- Croissant?

Muffin?

- Soldier's custom, always
start the day with C rations.

- Otis?

(grunts)

(pleasant music)

- Where are you going?

- I believe it's
almost nine o'clock.

- Yes?

- Migrating mallards
are due to pass over

at 9:07, a great
gray dance of birds

astonishing the sky
in such profusion

it feeds the soul to watch them.

My C rations.

Well here it is, Monty.

Certified by the fist
national bank of Nairobi.

- Here's the option
agreement, that's uncertified.

- Yes, but I trust you.

- The second person
who's told me that

in the last 24 hours.

I must be getting old.

- Monty, 10,000 acres of swamp.

I've seen 'em, I like them,

I think land will be
discovered on 'em.

- Leon, if you are
buttering me up

by letting me unload
that swampland on you,

you better grab yourself
another thing, don't you think?

- Eh Monty.

My last will and testament.

If by chance that four
million dollars comes to me,

every cent will go to the

underprivileged
creatures of the velt.

So much for the Artiodactyl,
so much for the giraffe,

so much for the ostrich,
all the poor hunted things

who need sanctuary, every cent.

Now take the giraffe.

No vocal cords.

All it can do is sigh.

But he is so tall
that even this faint,

unhappy murmur is
swept away by the wind.

Now I intend to equip
each giraffe with a stereo

so his sigh comes
out like a roar.

- How about that?

- And gives him self confidence

and natural protection
from the predators.

Now, the ostrich, the
ostrich, those blighters

they bury their heads to avoid

being seen against the
skyline, but do they like it?

- Mhmm.

- No.

That money will provide
hundreds of painted

backdrops with raised horizons

so the ostrich can
finally stand erect.

Monty, it's all in here.

If by chance the four
million dollars comes to me.

- Leon you've warmed
the cockles of my heart.

I've always been
simpatico to all them

wild critters,
varmints excluded.

I just love them
little old prairie dogs

and them sand gophers.

- Bonjour Monty, Monty.

(pleasant music)

- Something in personals
here, uncle Leon.

It's really your department.

- Two German nature lovers
recently arrived in the states

seek American
naturalist familiar

with local flora and fauna.

Money no object.

Well that's a happy coincidence.

(upbeat music)

(pleasant music)

- But that's
marvelous, absolutely.

- Saves a heap of tipping, too.

- Monty you are
like all rich men.

Always pretending
to be so frugal.

- Well you said you wanted to
go to the best saloon in town

and I talked things
over and here she set.

Best saloon in town,
ice box full of chaser,

trailer full of corn liquor.

- That's absolutely charming.

- Samantha?

I want you to level
with me, man to man.

You know like something
like the truth huh, okay?

(speaks foreign language)

- Truth without fear.

What do you want to know, Monty?

Man to man?

- Well there's one
thing I'm certain of

I'm about the ugliest
old coot around here.

You being a good looking filly,

come on let's face it.

If I wasn't pulling the rip
cord on Alex's purse strings,

would you take a
second look at me?

- Those whom we love the
best, we say the least to.

But even a woman
with deep feelings

must humble herself sometime.

Monty?

Do you think my life
has been a happy one?

Virtually exiled
from my own country,

flitting about from Paris
to Rome to London to Zurich?

Haunting in Amsterdam with that

miserable little
diamond exchange.

Do you think I enjoy forcing

those French sauces
down my throat?

When all I really long for was
a steak cooked clean through

and washed down with
campfire coffee.

Monty, I'm a Florida girl,

born and bred in the swamp.

And all I really
dream of is to be able

to afford to stay here,

and be with the man
who understands me.

- Horseshoes.

Come on, you like the
game oh I'll teach ya.

- Merci.

(laughs)

- What a woman!

(yells)

(dramatic music)

- That's a splendid example
of compound umbilact.

It grows nowhere
else in the world.

- Danke!

- He says thank you.

- What you've just picked
up is a verticillaster.

Don't ask me to
say that in Kraut.

See how it grows
up the floral axis

in those little Vs?

Well you know chaps, V for
verticillaster, V for victory.

Oh, no offense.

(speaks foreign language)

- He says much land,
property, much opportunity.

- Ah he has an eye
for a good thing.

(speaks foreign language)

What'd he say?

- He says you are not the
first who that thinks.

(speaks foreign language)

It is pity.

- Oh that he doesn't
own it right?

- Yeah exactly.

- And well he could if
he really wanted to.

- [German] True?

- Well I might be able
to help out a bit.

(speaks foreign language)

But he'd be getting in
on the ground floor.

- Please, you there to tie up.

- Oh yes, no sooner
said than done.

(pleasant music)

Well, say 10,000 acres.

(speaks foreign language)

- How much land, how much water?

- Oh even steven, 50/50.

You know half a dozen of
one and six of the other.

(speaks foreign language)

Of course, though
that's the last of it.

(speaks foreign language)

Pioneer?

Yes well you can say that again.

(speaks foreign language)

What, what's he saying?

- He says it's
good to be pioneer,

not deep sea diver.

This land is terrible, (speaks
foreign language), terrible!

Where does one stand?

- Oh well it may
look a little mucky

but it really, oh
it's quite solid.

Oh that's what I get
for being overly honest.

Did I say 50 water and 50 land?

Well it's at least
60/40, that's 60 land.

- Are you sure, quite
sure, that you have

for the land a legal
right to speak?

- My boy.

- Also we are worried
about the alligators.

- Alligator?

- Yeah the teeth.

Eats people.

- Nonsense, there isn't
an alligator in 50 miles.

Wouldn't I be the first to know?

Must be at least 70/30.

Nothing but silt from the river.

It's much more solid over there.

Watch, you'll see what I mean.

It's mu...

A little muddy here.

Of course much firmer over here.

Might require a little
dredging, I'm not sure,

but I think you could build
a very fine house right here.

Yes, and from here
right on over to here

well there's a
possibility to put a...

Here's where you put the pool.

I should have said over there,

it's much firmer there you see?

Oh yes it's 80/20.

Oh much better here.

Oh yeah well yes it's much
firmer here, much firmer here

oh much oh nicer
yes, firm here yes.

All you have to do is
drain some of the...

50%.

- Herr Tiffin!

(pleasant music)

- That's attractive.

- I had it freshened and altered

to make it more suitable
to a young widow.

Monty should appreciate that
touch don't you imagine?

- Oui.

An actress they say is
someone who sculpts in snow.

- Samantha.

You and I belong to the
same union, we're girls.

And now that Leon's
gone that makes

two of them against two of us.

- Really?

- If we work
together, that means

two million dollars apiece.

And together what
chance has Monty got?

- Now look doll, Monty and I
are getting married tomorrow.

Oh nothing elaborate
like your lovely wedding,

no nice, simple, no formality.

But well, as a member
of the same union

I wanted you to be
the first to know.

(pleasant music)

- First Alex, then
Tod, now Leon.

It is really too terrible to
contemplate, yet one must.

For myself Monty, I ask nothing.

I speak for generations
of Americans yet unborn.

I speak as the only
true American patriot

who can move freely within
the Sino-Soviet orbit.

In my little dealings
with Soviet officials

trying to bring them
the modest comforts

of western civilization without

embarrassing their
nonmaterialism,

I have had occasion to
make certain contacts

within their
intelligence networks.

Monty,

I have close friends

within the KRO.

To say nothing of the Kakepe.

Can you conceive, Monty

what I could accomplish
for the cause of peace

with four million
American dollars?

Had you and I met 100 years ago

and had I at the moment
been working with Mexico,

the gallant patriots who
perished at the Alamo

need never have
made their glorious
contribution to history.

Monty remember Valley Forge.

Remember the Alamo.

Remember the main.

Remember Pearl Harbor.

- Otis, I'm a shook
man, shook right down

to the tip of my Justins.

I'm so doggone happy I
don't know what to do.

I haven't told anybody,
but I'm gonna tell you.

Samantha, the quintessence
of feminine loveliness.

We're going to get
married tomorrow.

Now, what was that
you were saying to me?

(somber music)

(knocking)

- Oh Tod.

Oh I'm just sick
about what happened.

- I know.

- Oh I don't mean
about Uncle Leon.

It's Monty I'm worried about.

Samantha's got her
claws into him.

They're getting
married tomorrow.

- Now honey remember
what your father said.

If I'm not man enough to
survive in this family,

I'm the wrong man for the job.

If that's true of your
husband, it's true of Monty.

(romantic music)

- Vamanos.

Please senor, capitan.

(pleasant music)

(speaks foreign language)

- Do you remember me, Rios?

Felipe Rios?

Corporal Rios?

We, we fought with you at
Sanchez Pass, my brother and I.

My brother, he gave
his life for you.

- Ah, si.

(speaks foreign language)

- Wants me, generale.

They say the (speaks
foreign language)

he said to them.

- I speak English,
take care what you say.

This all still to be
judged, nothing is settled.

So this is the one?

- Si capitan.

- He is little too safe.

- Of all the generales
he is the one

with the most boon, a
true leader of the people.

Viva general Martin
Jose Salvado!

- Callate!

- You, take care capitan,

how you address one of my peons.

I have had men
executed for less.

- It's no time for distress.

At great risk, my
general, I have come.

As I said on the phone
the hour to march,

the peons are waiting,
the workers are waiting.

We only need you at the front!

And the weapons,
which the capitan

has assured he can get for us.

He is certain you're
the one to lead us.

- This is not a war of guns,

but of minds.

What do you, a Yankee,
know here in the heart?

- You are a young man, capitan.

Young to power.

What do you know of the
armies I have led to victory?

Of the men who have
died in my arms?

And the women who have
lived there, only they know.

Go back and tell your
young lions you came here

not certain of me, and you
return not certain of me!

And your guns, you can keep.

- Comrade!

You must leave for
Alhama at once.

For security
purposes you'll have

to make your own
travel arrangements.

But once there, you'll be
taken directly to the top.

You understand?

- While the capitan listened,
I could not say the words.

I say them now.

(speaks foreign language)

- Just remember Monty, I haven't
tried to bargain with you.

I could have offered
you a district to govern

or a seat on the cabinet,

but I am going all the
way with you, Monty.

My brother's money to me,
the presidency to you.

Short and simple.

I'm offering you life Monty,

to the full, raw, and wonderful.

The only way it should be lived.

You, it's yours for the asking.

- Mike your story's
really touched me.

I wish you'd have tied
into me about a week ago

when I was feeling
like an old codger.

But right now I feel like
I'm on that 45 yard stripe,

and I'm so in love,
you know what I mean?

- No.

- Well it's just--

- [Announcer] Flight
21 now departing

for Miami, last call please.

Flight 21, gate four.

- Monty I got to go now.

Just keep an open mind,
that's all that I ask.

I'll be back in a day or two.

And I'll bring you
some real cigars.

- Adios.

(pleasant music)

- C-H-A.

The C-H is pronounced
as in the German ach.

Charocha, as in
George Bernard Shaw.

Charocha!

That's not really the problem.

- I know.

- How can we fink
on Otis, no matter

how much he deserves it?

There's too much already.

- Yeah the pound of flesh
just gets heavier and heavier.

- I'll call Margo.

(knocking)

- Yeah who is it?

- [Otis] Otis Tiffin.

- What's the difference?

- So, you are alive.

- Sorry, uncle.

- Do you happen to
have a drink around?

Anything but vodka.

I've been ordered
to read a statement

to your friend here
in as much as it was

believed that you were dead.

But now the...

Thank you.

I shall translate as I go along.

Comrade Tiffin.

It has come to my
attention that in a recent

exchange of rubles for
certain merchandise

which shall be referred to
hereafter as Christmas pink

only rubles changed hands,

no Christmas pink
was forthcoming.

Your failure to
perform unofficially
for the official class

is not regarded as a
crime against the state,

but rather as a crime
against the official class.

A discussion has
therefore taken place,

not a trial, a discussion, and
a decision has been reached.

Not a verdict, a decision.

This decision is that
you, comrade Tiffin,

have to be conducted safely home

to your adopted
motherland by the

first available
Soviet transportation.

Together with an appropriate
cargo of Christmas pink,

once you've fulfilled
this final contract

your visas and expert
permits are to be taken away

and you will be free to
contribute your services

to the working class.

Now regarding the
American sports car

which you sold to an officer on

Captain Blinski's merchant ship.

The stupidity of
this transaction

has led us to serious
doubts about your sanity.

Shipping such a machine
into the motherland

could create more dissension
than any Chinese propagandist.

I ask you comrade,
how would it look

if Nikita were to
be seen driving it?

The Albanians would insist
he was a tool of Wall Street,

and if you think he would let
anybody else have the car,

you've been away too long.

So, we have made a
practical decision.

We have decided to be honest.

The car is to be returned to the

surviving friend
of the legal owner.

And the document is signed by my

old customer comrade Sergei.

Who turns out to be a very
high ranking commissar.

Which only proves you
can't trust anybody.

All the time I
thought he was just

another enterprising
capitalist like me.

Oh well...

Oh, yes I have been
ordered to obtain

a counter signature
on this document

as proof that it has been
read to the proper party.

In the circumstances I believe
the proper party is you.

Thank you very much.

Whatever comes, I am ready.

- Linc's taking your
things out to the car.

- Hi son, might as well
set them bags down.

Folks, I got something to say.

We might as well get
right down to business

so Samantha and I can
have a few more drinks

of that sour mash liquor.

Now honey, won't
you set right there.

You two young people
set right over there.

I know that the
14 days ain't up,

but there ain't no reason why

I can't make up
my mind right now.

I've got to give away
four million dollars,

and I've heard everybody's story

and I finally made up my mind.

Now I can't give it to Leon,

I can't give it to Otis, I
can't give it to Michael.

They wouldn't be
here to rake it in

if I was to give it to 'em.

Now I could give it to
you two pretty people.

Shucks, I don't
think you need it.

'Cause Margo would
be in the grain pits

selling futures, buying
contracts, when she

ought to be home
raising babies for ya.

- We didn't want
it anyway, Monty.

- That's what I figured.

Well Samantha, I
reckon that leaves you.

- Monty!

(speaks foreign language)

- I can't give you
that money, woman.

Wouldn't look right,
you being my bride.

I'm giving it to Interpol.

Well sure been nice knowing
you folks down here in Florida.

If you ever get around
Lubbock, look us up will ya?

My ma and pa are
going to be busted

at the seams when I bring
this good looking woman home.

- I'll, I'll put
the bags in the car.

- Can you get everything on?

- Plenty of room.

- How come?

- Well I shipped my
stuff ahead, to Texas.

I'm going back home for a while.

- Well we're going that
way, straight to Houston.

- Well that's a two seater
you got there, old buddy.

(emotional music)

See ya.

(emotional music)

(pleasant music)

- [Announcer] A Screen
Gems presentation.

Herbert B. Leonard,
executive producer.