Original subtitles

[indistinct talking]

Baby, check this out.

[scoffs] A power washer?

We need one of these.

[Sarah] Yeah.

On the patio in the backyard.

Yeah.

Should we go look

at those window treatments?

No.

Do you want

one of these hotdogs?

They're very good.

Baby, you are

a heck of a homemaker.

You know that?

But you know we could just

go to dinner, or...

Well, you know,

if you don't make it...

[both] You don't eat it.

You know what?

That's a great idea.

What if I make you dinner?

I'm gonna go and get that,

uh, grill. The big shiny one.

Will you get us some shrimp?

The big jumbo kind.

Four down. Three over.

Come back and find me

down here. In tools.

What the hell

are you doing here?

You ignored my messages.

I am happy.

You're desperate.

I can make this work.

Frank, you're playing house.

Look, I'm retired, okay.

I'm happy. We are happy.

Frank... Frank...

You haven't killed anybody

in months.

You know what, that is not

a bad thing, okay?

That's a positive thing

for a lot of people.

Kemosabe, I need you.

They're coming. I can feel it.

You are driving me

nuts, Marvin.

Listen, if it makes you

feel better, bring the girl.

I'm not gonna bring the girl

anywhere, all right?

Don't bring the girl where?

[chuckles nervously]

Oh, we're just catching up.

[Sarah] What?

Marvin's here.

I just bumped into Marvin.

Where are we going?

No, come on.

They're gonna close.

Good to see you, Marvin.

Good to see you.

Frank.

[Sarah] You know you want to.

No.

Come on.

Last chance, Frank.

I'm taking Sarah home.

[mouthing]

Stay safe.

[Sarah] Well,

I really wanted to be...

Of course, it is, honey.

You are never gonna be

in danger ever again.

We don't even know

what happened.

We don't know

who's in there.

How am I gonna protect you?

Hey.

He was your best friend.

Okay?

Come on.

[mutters indistinctly]

[sober organ music playing]

[Sarah] Wow.

He still looks so lifelike.

He's not dead.

Honey, don't do that.

Just let your feelings out.

Don't...

No. Really.

He does this a lot.

[Sarah muttering]

Really?

[Sarah exclaims softly]

No, come on.

Give me the pin.

Give me the pin.

Come on, sweetie.

Let's go sit down. Come on.

Come on.

I should kiss him.

Yeah, go ahead.

Do you want to?

Let's go sit down.

Come on. Come on, sweetie.

At this time,

we'll open the floor to anyone

who wishes

to say a few words

about the deceased.

[whispering] Babe...

[man] Share a memory,

perhaps?

[whispering indistinctly]

Perhaps, a poem.

A song lyric.

Anyone?

[whispers] You can do it.

Sir?

[clears throat]

Marvin was

different.

He was

a very good shot.

Some would say that

he was paranoid.

But you have to

expect a little of that

when the CIA's

dosing you with LSD

for a little more

than a decade.

He could wire a bomb

faster than anybody

I ever met.

The good people

of Moldova will always

be in Marvin's debt.

He was a really good friend.

Really good.

I'm gonna miss him.

Gonna miss him.

[Frank] We have to move.

[Sarah] Canada?

High ground.

Good kill zones.

It's a little farm.

A farm? Like, to farm on?

To farm on?

Yeah. Yeah.

Like, with crops?

Yeah. It could be fun.

Listen, babe...

You know they say it's really

important not to make big...

life-altering decisions

right after a loss.

If they can get to Marvin,

they can get to you

and they can get to me.

Who are they?

Go to the safe house.

Look at me.

Go to the safe house.

I'll come find you, okay?

I'm not leaving you.

Listen...

It'll be all right.

What is it?

Mr. Moses...

They want to debrief you

at a Yankee White facility.

Is that your sniper?

You're flagged

Retired Extremely Dangerous.

Hi, there.

Um, my client

Frank Moses is here.

He's an American citizen

being detained illegally

without due process.

You know what?

That is a lovely blazer.

Oh, thank you.

You're welcome.

I'm sorry,

I have no idea.

But let me get

Mr. Snyder for you.

Thank you.

How can I help you?

Oh, hi, there. I'm sorry.

What is your name?

John Snyder.

John. You know what?

I didn't get your name.

Oh, it's Kelly.

Hi, Kelly.

[gunshot]

[gasping]

John...

John... John!

Unless you want to

end up like Kelly,

I suggest you tell me where

Frank Moses is right now.

Now!

In interrogation.

[gunshot]

Ah!

I got a document right here

that says that

you have a special interest

in the Cold War.

We know that

back in the day,

you spent an awful

lotta time in Russia.

I just need to know what you

know about Project Nightshade.

I really don't know

anything about it.

[gunshot]

[groans]

[people groaning]

[faint gunfire]

What the hell is that?

Small arms gunfire,

200 yards.

Watch him.

[door opens]

[gunfire approaching]

100 yards.

They're coming to kill us.

Get me outta these cuffs.

I can't do that, sir.

You have the key, right?

Hands up!

50 feet.

They're gonna kill us both,

if you don't

get me outta these cuffs.

[gunfire continues]

Come on.

[Horton] Frank Moses.

You know, coming up through

the ranks, you were my hero.

Given enough time,

I guess everyone cracks.

Huh, Frank?

Who are you?

Me?

Mmm-hmm.

I'm the guy the government

hires to get information.

And I'm allowed to use any

form of torture I deem fit.

And I will torture Sarah

until you speak.

Speaking of Sarah,

I love watching her

shave her legs in the tub.

Kinda reminds me

of these Belgian mercs

I met in the Congo.

They would skin people alive

to get them to talk.

And do you know

where they started?

Guess.

[chuckles]

At the ankles.

Just like your Sarah.

So...

You either give me

the information

that I need to know...

Or I'm gonna

fillet your girl

from head to toe

with no mercy.

Awesome.

[groans]

[Yells]

Wow.

Pretty good

for a retired guy.

But are you...

1-2-3-4-5-6...

7-on-1 cuffed

with no weapon good?

Son of a...

Go. Go, go, go!

Shoot him,

but don't kill him.

[gun fires]

[loud thud]

[man grunts]

All right, kill him.

Spray it up.

Frank, this is

your last chance.

Fire.

[bomb clicks]

Get in there! Go!

[grunting]

[neck cracks]

Shit.

[Frank groaning]

[shotgun fires]

[cocking gun]

[shell clatters]

Marvin!

You're driving me crazy!

I brought the key.

You faked your death.

Gotta go.

Let's go.

Gotta go.

[Frank] You have no idea

what you put me through!

Oh! Thank God,

you're okay.

No!

What are you doing here?

Marvin brought me.

From the house.

Has everybody

lost their mind?

Marv, you don't bring

a girl like that here.

I had to see

if you were okay, didn't I?

Honey!

[stammering] I thought...

What?

Remember when we

had that conversation

about how you were

gonna lay low?

You don't get to tell me

when to lay.

[Frank] I mean,

I'm not saying that.

Stop. Just don't.

Just don't... No.

You're mad at me now?

You treat me

like a China doll.

Frank, can I give you

a little advice about women?

No! Absolutely not!

Listen,

you gotta ask yourself,

what is a girl like that

doing with a guy like you?

It ain't for your looks.

You know,

I will shoot you.

I will shoot you in the liver.

[siren wailing]

A, R, D, A.

Adventure, romance, danger,

activities you can share

as a couple.

It's about you lying to me.

Frank...

I was very touched that

you cried at my funeral.

That's not true.

I didn't cry

at your funeral.

I'm no crier.

Ninety-six hours ago,

somebody posted

a document on the Internet

that said you and I

took part in an operation

called Nightshade

back in '79.

[Sarah] That's why

you fake died?

Yeah. The chatter

went through the roof.

So everybody's after you

for something

they think you know

that you don't

even know at all?

Oh, my God! Spiders!

Honey, you need

to go to ground

and it's best

I don't know where.

Yeah, I'm not going anywhere.

Cash only. No calls.

No contacts.

Thanks. Look...

I'm not hanging out

in some bunker

while you slink around

and save the planet

with dusky international

femme fatales.

Dusky?

Dark, smoldering.

I know what

it means, Marvin.

It's hard to be

the kinda person

I have to be right now

and do the kinda things that

I'm going to have to do

while you're here.

This is gonna be

good for us.

What are we doing?

Let's face it, Columbo,

things were getting

a little stale.

Wow. Mommy just slapped Daddy

at the dinner table.

[faint banging]

[muffled shouting]

[stammers] Is there

a human being in the trunk?

Yeah.

Who is it, Marvin?

He's a Senior Director

of Military Intelligence.

I've been

caramelizing his onions

for a couple of days.

Caramelizing how?

With three tabs of acid

and a lot of rats.

Dang!

[General McKennon]

Eleven people dead.

Five FBI.

And the SecDef

wants a briefing?

You were brought in

to contain this.

Calm down.

I can't believe

this is coming back on me

after so many years.

General,

Moses and Boggs have

been completely isolated.

The FBI is seeking them

for the murders.

Homeland has been informed

that they are officially

domestic terrorists.

Is that gonna work?

Yes.

The problem is

with that document

surfacing on the Internet,

all the players will be

coming after Nightshade.

It'll open the book on this.

I'm calling SecDef.

We need to go public.

[sighing]

General...

[grunts]

Nobody's going public.

We need a new plan

for Moses.

[muffled grunting]

I need you

to approve a specialist.

What? CIA?

It's been tried, sir.

Didn't work so well

for those guys.

Han Cho Bai.

He's the best.

Do it.

Suit, too.

Okay, he's clean.

Seriously?

Sit down, Mr. Han.

Your security

is impressive.

[Cobb] A business associate.

Julio Alvarez Fernandes.

Very difficult

to get close to.

Of course, it must appear

like an accident.

Not a problem.

Except for one thing.

Mmm?

Mr. Fernandes pays better.

[muffled grunting]

[faint gurgling]

[cell phone ringing]

[Han] Yeah?

Who's the target?

Oh, it's an old pal of yours.

Frank Moses.

[chuckles]

Karma's a bitch, Frank.

[Director Philips]

What is this?

There's a watchword flag

on a WikiLeaks document.

It's coded

Priority One Alpha Seven.

Something called Nightshade.

Shut up!

Get out.

Find me Victoria Winslow.

Director Philips?

Um... [breathing hard]

I'm with someone right now.

Keeping busy, I see.

Idle hands

do the Devil's work.

[man gasping]

[choking]

Yes.

I understand you can get

close to Frank Moses.

Yes.

MI6 has a job for you.

If you want to stay alive,

you're going to accept it.

It's time to

choose sides, Victoria.

[Sarah] Where do they

teach you guys this stuff?

Manuals, mostly.

[Sarah] Mmm.

Some of this stuff

you just can't teach.

[Sarah] Wow.

Isn't this cool?

We're on a mission together.

Do you have any idea

how many people

are trying to kill us

right now?

You and I both know

that this is where you belong.

Right here.

In the thick of it.

Pussy Cat's right, Frank.

Here we go.

Watch your step.

What?

Oh.

Come on!

Where did you get this?

Um... Marvin.

You gave her a gun?

It is America, Frank.

Everyone else has a gun.

She has no idea

what to do with this.

I know exactly

what to do with it.

[gunshot]

Ow!

You don't give fire

to a kitten.

Why don't you just give her

some dynamite, Marvin?

No external safety

on the Sig?

Tell him what you told me.

At the height

of the Cold War,

Nightshade was cooked up

by a rogue US general

as a first strike capability

against the Soviets.

That's it. Can I go?

That's it?

You want a little pepper

with that?

No, okay! At the height

of the Cold War,

a megaton-yield device

was smuggled into Moscow

in diplomatic pouches,

piece by piece,

and then the weapon was lost.

That's it.

You lost a nuke in Moscow?

The scientist

was Edward Bailey.

That's it.

What?

I made a mistake.

Edward Bailey

was a genius physicist

who built

some of the greatest stuff

during the Cold War.

Neutron bombs,

particle beam weapons,

nerve gas.

Excellent nerve gas.

He was a rock star

of conceptual mass killing.

They called him

"The Da Vinci of Death."

We were the security detail

assigned to getting him

in and out of Moscow safely.

What happened?

We thought he was secure.

The Soviets got him

with a car bomb.

It was my fault.

He's dead.

Run or fight?

[Marvin] All we've got

is this WikiLeaks page

off the Internet.

Out of a Paris IP.

[typing]

Hmm.

Paris could be anybody.

Wait. Wait.

Scroll back down

for a second.

What is that?

[Sarah] Oh.

Uh...

Coffee stain?

Mmm. Wine.

Frog.

What?

[cell phone ringing]

[phones ringing]

We're okay.

Your number.

Yeah.

MI6 has just given me

a contract to kill you.

Apparently,

you're guilty of

nuclear terrorism, murder,

and you're number one

on Interpol's Most Wanted.

What did you say?

Oh, I said "Yes."

You know, the money's good.

[sizzling]

And anyway,

if I don't do it,

somebody else will.

Oh, and you should know

the Americans

are sending someone also.

Who?

Han.

[Marvin] It's bad, isn't it?

Is that Marvin?

Yes. And Sarah.

Aw! Send them my love,

will you?

[whispering]

They're driving me crazy.

Marvin gave her a gun.

Was it loaded?

Yes! Yes!

Are you being controlling?

No!

You have to take chances

in a relationship.

You have to be supportive.

I don't need her to fit in.

I just need her to be safe.

Just rent Dirty Dancing,

tell her you love her.

You know,

it's important to enjoy life

while you still can.

Victoria just accepted

a contract from MI6

to kill all three of us.

You don't think

she'd do that, do you?

[Sarah] Frank, you don't

think she'd do that?

She's a friend.

Frank, what,

are you stupid?

You never took a contract out

to kill a friend?

She called

to give us fair warning.

Come on.

There's one more thing.

Han just went number one.

[bell dinging]

[loudly] Why don't they just

dip our balls in honey

and stake us to an ant farm?

Come on.

Whoa!

Crazy old bastard.

[Marvin] Frank,

do you feel old?

Not really.

[Marvin] Me neither.

I mean, crazy sometimes,

I guess.

Who's Han?

Who's Han?

Korean. Counter-intel.

Frank put him in jail

for a few years.

We should be

super-scared of him, huh?

Yes. He is the best

contract killer in the world.

I've got a hit

off an old alias,

silent for almost 20 years.

He's dodging watch lists.

Bingo.

Private flight to Paris

scheduled for 0900

out of Teterboro.

Find their hotel.

Get blueprints and workups

on the day

and night managers.

Have Vance meet us

on the ground.

They're one floor down.

Two adjoining rooms.

Surveillance is

almost up and running.

[Han] This is going to be

easier than I thought.

[cell phone ringing]

[Assistant] Hello. Speaking.

Yes.

Where are they?

[Vance] They were here.

They ordered room service

at 1:00.

[Assistant] What do you mean,

"The plane is prepped"?

I think someone

stole your plane.

[Han] I'm really

going to enjoy killing him.

Get me a gun

that really hurts.

[Sarah] So how good

is this guy?

Han is the best

contract killer

in the world.

Let's just say that Frank

is in some very,

very deep dog doo.

He's not gonna kill me.

Yeah.

Nobody kills Frank Moses.

Right!

The people

he really doesn't like,

he tortures

for a long time first.

Can we just focus

on trying to catch The Frog?

Okay. What's the action plan

for target acquisition

and rendition?

Marvin?

Quit teaching her stuff!

Nice.

What do you think

the most expensive

bottle of wine

in the world costs?

[Marvin] Chateau d'Yquem 1847.

Maybe five, six, maybe,

bottles left in the world.

It's pretty pricey.

Maybe we should get

a bottle of that wine

and try to catch

The Frog with it.

[Sarah] My God,

this is so romantic!

[exclaiming excitedly]

Come here.

Keep your head down.

But we have to go to the

Ile Saint-Louis for gelato.

I don't think so.

[Sarah] Really?

What about the...

Frank, is that...

Mmm-hmm.

Hello, Frank.

Have you seen her since?

Nope.

God, I've missed you.

Who is she?

Trouble.

[sighs deeply]

How are things?

Yeah, Frank, how are things?

Sarah...

[chuckles awkwardly]

This is Katja.

Yeah. Hi.

I need to speak with you.

Immediately.

What the hell was that?

Katja Petrokovich.

Russian Counter-Intelligence.

I think we should hear

what she has to say.

[Marvin] Frank...

[whistles "cuckoo"]

[Marvin] You don't know

the half of it.

She and Frank were young.

And he didn't have

the slightest idea

she was working

for the Russians.

She's Frank Moses' kryptonite.

[orchestra music playing]

[Katja sighs]

I like you

with no hair, Frank.

Bald men are so sexy.

Virile.

[chuckles nervously] Wow.

She's cute.

Where did you find her?

Nebraska?

Kansas.

Kansas.

So what was it you wanted

to talk to me about?

I would like to believe that

the US didn't plant

a weapon of mass-destruction

in Moscow. But I don't.

Why are you in Paris?

We come every fall

for Strike Season

and for the weather.

[Katja] Oh?

Well, the US seems to think

you're nuclear terrorists.

Russia wants complete access.

You agree now

or I'll hand you over

to the US government.

Can't we just kill her?

Excuse me for one second.

Can I talk to you?

What? Oh.

Uh-huh. Sure thing.

Come here for a minute.

You know, I was shocked.

I got it.

Yeah, I know.

She was kinda counting

your teeth with her tongue.

A little, yeah.

[Sarah] Can she go now?

We don't really have a choice.

We need her to help us.

I promise

there is nothing between us.

No, sir. This guy's

not giving us anything.

Website's been scrubbed.

NSA intercepted a dispatch

to the Kremlin from Paris.

Moses is going after someone

called "The Frog."

[banging in room]

The Frog.

So they call him "The Frog"

because he's French?

[scoffs] No.

No, he poisoned

the water supply

at KGB headquarters

with the Amazon

tree frog poison.

He must have been wiping

those little tree humpers

for years.

Incapacitated 1,600

people and left with

every secret we had.

You know, the guy

makes a fortune

selling information.

He knows so much

even the US won't touch him.

The hard part

is gonna be taking him alive.

[inhales deeply]

[slurping]

[gargles and gulps]

Superb.

Wine is wine.

I want to buy American

air defense protocols.

Why is it terrorists

never appreciate Burgundy?

Look, I don't think you know

[cell phone chiming]

who you're dealing with.

Shh! Excusez-moi.

Hmm.

Confirmed. It's him.

It's The Frog.

[Sarah] Just don't

look at him, right?

Well, just act natural.

And whatever you do,

don't look him

right in the eyes.

Check.

[whispers] Remember,

don't look right at him.

[people screaming]

Idiot!

Marvin, you all right?

Yeah.

All right.

Get her outta here.

When?

Now!

Get a car!

[rider yells]

[tires screeching]

Is that...

Cut them off!

This is not a good idea!

She's not gonna

get there first!

Sidewalk!

Yes!

No!

Yes!

Happy trails, bozo!

Don't you think

we should let...

Shut your pie hole, Marvin!

[laughs triumphantly]

[grunts]

[horns honking]

[Marvin] Don't you think

we should let...

Hush!

Incoming!

[exclaims in French]

Bastard! Sidewalk!

[Sarah] What the...

She's fine.

[Frank] Got him.

[Katja] What are you doing?

Got him.

[Katja] Look!

What is she doing?

[Marvin] I'm begging...

Yeah, yeah. I got this.

I so got this.

[both grunt]

I hate her so much.

You're wasting your time!

[The Frog grunts]

You're going to regret this

more than you can

possibly imagine.

Hey.

[The Frog groans]

[sighs]

You know who we are?

Yes, of course.

Tell us about Nightshade.

You think I'm going to

roll over for you hegemonic

Mickey Mouse-loving Americans?

Leave Mickey out of it.

1947 Petrus?

Yes. That one's rather...

God's sake!

[Katja] 1945.

Wait, wait, wait!

That bottle...

How do we find it?

Never!

Nightshade was the plot

of lunatics.

I used to be like you.

Driven by ideology and fear

with no love of

what's beautiful in the world.

I can't trust

animals like you!

Do what you will.

Death is easy.

It's not about

the destination.

It's about the journey.

Death is an art form

in Russia.

[Katja] There are so many ways

to take a man to bits.

Shall we start with a Chechen

facelift? Hold him down!

Stop! Stop it!

This is how we do it.

Please. You're so brave.

But you have to understand

we're doing this for

the right reasons. And this...

This isn't worth your life.

[sighs]

You must have

something to live for.

Art.

Wine.

Women?

Hey.

[stutters]

Help us.

We need this information.

You'll be helping us

save the world. Please.

[exhales] Mmm.

You, I'll help.

Excuse me.

Thank you.

And you can suck it.

[Frank] Baby? Honey?

[Sarah] Seriously?

You hooked up with that?

What a woman.

[Marvin]

Is that the same dress?

They look the same to you?

No one ever called me

Frank Moses' kryptonite.

Frank's crazy about you.

I've never seen him afraid

of anything except losing you.

What if I'm ruining his life?

Frank is a very

simple creature

with very simple needs.

Okay? It's killing,

eating,

sexting,

eating...

Killing, I guess.

What's your point?

I can't believe

you kissed The Frog.

Well, I've kissed

a lotta frogs.

I got something for ya.

What is it?

The key to The Frog's

security deposit box.

From?

Credit Lyonnais.

Baby, I have a request.

[Sarah] Uh-huh.

How would you feel about

going out to dinner

with me tonight?

Hmm.

It is Paris, after all.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

[knocking on door]

Stay here.

I'll be right back.

I need you, Frank.

It's not a good time.

[Katja] One of our old assets

has some real information.

He needs to

meet with us right now.

Nah.

Frank, what are you doing?

She's kryptonite.

What are you doing?

I'll handle it.

Are you sure?

[knocking on door]

Yeah.

It's not okay.

It's just some work.

No, it's not fun.

Go. You and Svetlana,

you work it out.

I promise you

that I will be back

in time for dinner.

I'll be back.

Keep her safe.

[door closes]

What happened to us, Frank?

Well...

Hmm.

You betrayed me.

You set me up.

Tried to kill me.

I tried to kill you.

They were good times,

weren't they?

You know, if you'd asked me

to betray my country,

you know I would have.

[speaking French]

Yes, madam.

[thanking in French]

My God.

You know,

I looked you up once.

You were in a bungalow

in Los Angeles.

There were roses

out in front.

But I lost my nerve.

[thanking in French]

So what do you want?

It was all about work

with you, Frank. Rules.

Not rules.

Right and wrong.

You know, it's harder for me

not to follow orders.

Despite my personal feelings.

But feelings don't matter

any more than right or wrong.

Orders matter.

Orders?

Russia will handle things

from here.

I'm taking the key, Frank.

I can't let that happen.

No?

I can't feel my arms.

Enjoy Kansas.

Hmm.

He's out.

He might be awake.

Oh, good.

So he can feel it.

Did you ever,

ever in your entire career

let yourself get drugged?

You still like her!

And now she has the key!

She doesn't have the key.

She has a key.

What?

I knew she would play him

like a banjo at

an Ozark hoedown.

So I have the key.

Water.

How long was I out for?

Some of it's his.

Et tu, Marvin?

Style is the only

constant in life, Frank.

We didn't come to Paris

on vacation.

Oh. Shopping's what I thought

you did in Paris

with your boyfriend's money

while you're waiting for him

to wake up

from being taken down

by his skanky, slutty,

Russian biatch ex-girlfriend.

So thanks. Thanks.

Thanks for the compliment

for the fur.

For telling me that

I look nice in my dress.

It makes me feel really good.

And it makes me feel

very loving towards you also.

[Frank] Why is she

doing this to me?

We can get a taxi over here.

Frank, listen,

I gotta tell you something.

You have to start to learn

to share your feelings

to evolve your relationship.

Even if it seems

uncomfortable at first.

Say you're pinned down

in a firefight.

If you stay where you are,

you're gonna die. Okay?

So, you tell me,

what do you do?

Make the run.

Yes. You have got

to make the run

to emotional safety.

Huh.

You dead yet, Moses?

[Frank] Not yet.

Where's my plane?

[Frank] In my ass!

It's in an airport

outside of Paris.

What are you... Shut up!

Let's get outta here.

Marvin?

Yeah?

Is that a stick of dynamite

in your pocket?

Yeah, but I'm saving it

for an emergency.

Well, this is kind of

an emergency, isn't it?

[exhales]

The key I gave her

is connected to

a particularly nasty

terrorist cell

and their safe deposit box.

The French take this

kinda thing pretty seriously.

[Katja] That's enough.

Put me down!

Put me down now!

[Yells]

[man speaks French]

All right.

[Marvin]

We gotta move quickly,

Moscow will have her out

within the hour.

For the love of Mike.

All right.

I'm still not

talking to you.

All right. This is an MI6

report on Project Nightshade.

It's about the operative

that placed the device.

They took him into custody

and put him on ICE.

What's ICE?

Incarcerate, Cannot Execute.

Who would they keep on ICE

for 32 years?

Come on. Gotta go.

Come on where? Oh!

How could she have

possibly found us?

'Cause I called her

and told her we were coming.

I couldn't take the pressure

of not knowing.

Why isn't she

shooting at us?

[gunshot]

That should buy us 24 hours.

Hello, sweetie.

You know, the next time

you two make a plan like this,

you could at least

let me in on it.

[scoffs] Frank,

you're compromising me.

Who knows what

some girl is gonna

squeeze out of you?

Where'd you get the bodies?

My freezer.

Come on. Wake up.

[cell phone rings]

Yeah?

[Davis]

What the hell's going on?

Sir?

Get anything from The Frog?

No, he took some sorta poison

before we really talked.

I don't think

he's gonna say anything now.

You've got to find

Moses and Boggs.

Mmm. Mmm.

Don't worry.

I'm on the trail.

[male guide] On your right,

you see the famous

Tower of London.

And shortly, we'll be passing

under the Tower Bridge.

It's a fortress.

It's an asylum

for the criminally insane.

He's in the ICE unit.

That's an MI6 Alpha Level

secure facility

buried deep within

that building.

It's like a prison

within a prison.

How are we gonna

get in there?

[Victoria] She wants my head!

She wants my head!

It's a Papist plot.

It's her. It's that bitch

Mary, Queen of Scots.

She wants my head.

What are you doing? No! No!

Get me Cecil. Get me Cecil.

I'm the Queen of England!

Don't take me to the Tower!

I'll have your head for this,

you bitch!

No! No!

[gasps] "Uneasy lies the head

that wears the crown."

[whispering] They're plotting

against me. All of them.

There's a good queen.

[grunts]

Stuff it, you old bat.

Thank you.

[groans]

Not so much the "old,"

if you don't mind.

[Victoria] I think

it was really, really good.

I thought I was kind of

channeling Bette Davis.

Good morning.

Dr. Jones to see

prisoner number 17, please.

Dr. Jones?

Are you with MI6?

Sadly, not anymore.

Because I don't seem

to have you on my list.

[clicks tongue]

Bloody thing's not working.

Why's that?

You're supposed to use...

Lay down on the ground.

Attaboy. On the floor.

[grunts]

Number 121.

Oh, there it is.

Frank!

[opera music playing]

Who are you? You're visitors?

Who are you looking for?

We love having visitors,

don't we, fellas?

Dr. Bailey?

Dr. Bailey?

Yes. Who did you expect

to find here? Hmm?

[turns off music]

[Frank] Sir...

What?

I saw you die.

Saw me die?

Who is he?

Frank?

Frank Moses,

my dear fellow!

[chuckling]

How are you, old sport?

So glad to see you.

So glad you came by.

We've been expecting you.

Haven't we, fellas?

My God, Frank, why are

you so old? Good lord!

Sir...

What?

You've been locked up here

for 32 years.

Come on, Frankie,

you've gotta be kidding me.

Come on, put 'em up.

Thirty-two years.

How extraordinary.

Who are you?

Victoria.

Victoria!

You should read this.

Lenin. State and Revolution.

Jolly good time.

Stalin got it wrong,

of course.

So where are we going, Frank?

Are you taking us

to the opera again tonight?

Is that where

we're going, Frank?

The opera?

We love the opera,

don't we, fellas?

Yes, the opera

and the champagne

and the strawberries

all 'round.

Sorry, my dear,

what is your name again?

Victoria.

I'm sorry, it's the drugs

they've been feeding me,

it's my short-term memory.

The drugs

they've been feeding...

Something that's meant to

keep us peaceful, I suppose,

or harmless!

[chuckles] Anyway, I know

it's around here somewhere,

but I don't know

where it is.

Dr. Bailey,

we need your help.

Mmm?

Do you remember Nightshade?

I'm sorry,

I'm looking for my pipe

and my

St. Christopher medallion.

Boys gave it to someone.

They were little boys,

you see.

Now where it's gone...

It's gone somehow.

[lock bolting]

[Victoria] Um...

Oh, shit!

[gunshot]

[Bailey] Hey, Frankie,

I'm over here.

I found it. It was

in my pocket the whole time.

I couldn't find

my damn pipe, though.

But here it is.

Sorry, my dear,

what was the question

you asked me?

Do you remember Nightshade?

Vaguely. It was some kind of

a bomb, I believe.

Dr. Bailey, people

are looking for that weapon.

People who want to use it.

Oh, dear. Yes,

I do understand, of course.

Believe you me.

But you know,

I made many things

for the Americans and

Nightshade turned out to be

a bit of a nightmare.

It was quite different.

Turned out to be

too dangerous.

So naturally, they had to

lock me up in this place.

And after what they did to me,

I think it's perfectly natural

I tell them all to go F off!

[taser crackling]

MI6 tried to fake

Bailey's death?

Why? What are they hiding?

You're gonna have to go.

You're gonna

have to go find out.

[sighs]

[Victoria] You know

they're gonna try and kill me.

I'll call you from Russia.

[Victoria] Do svidanya.

[man] Maintenance to Bridge 7.

We got a breach

in Maximum Security.

Secure!

[Davis] All right,

what's so important?

I just heard

from my source at MI6

that Edward Bailey's alive

and on the run.

That's not possible.

This is bigger

than a rogue general

and his unexploded ordnance.

What don't I know?

The game has changed.

The things Bailey knows

are too dangerous.

We can't let Bailey

or Nightshade

fall into terrorist hands,

or millions will die.

Holy shit, it's real.

Unless we secure it,

that weapon's going off

in the middle of Moscow.

Right now,

that's our best case scenario.

[weapons clicking]

Guys?

[men shouting indistinctly]

Ah!

Welcome, my friends.

So, it is true.

You're alive.

Tell me, then,

where is this device?

Who?

Work in progress.

[Ivan] I never thought

I'd be smuggling

Frank Moses into the heart

of Mother Russia.

[softly] Me, neither.

Oh, before I forget. Frank.

Frank, a little something.

If you are caught

or Han catches you

suicide pill

is a much better option

than what you face.

You die with Russian smile on.

[chuckling]

Good luck. Do svidanya.

Mr. Bailey.

Yes, Frank?

Is there any way

you could tell us

where you hid

the nuclear weapon?

Look at all those cows, Frank.

They're beautiful.

Yeah.

[Frank] Cows?

[grunting]

Hi! Yoo hoo! [moos]

That's not good.

We have eyes on, Frank.

[grunts]

Where's my plane?

They paid me to kill you.

They didn't say

I had to do it all at once.

[speaking Russian]

[Frank speaking Russian]

[siren wailing]

[Han]

This is not over, Moses.

[continues

speaking Russian]

[Han] We're not over!

It's not!

[speaking Russian]

[Sarah] What's wrong with him?

[gunfire]

[panting]

[Sarah] Wow.

What is this place?

[Frank] My first safe house.

Untouched, since 1984. Aw!

[laughs]

Fugu poison?

Fugu poison is deadly stuff.

Terrible death.

This your little gizmo?

XKG gas. I invented it.

We tried to take out

old Fidel Castro

in '61 in Cuba.

That didn't work though.

Any tea, Frank?

Why does Han

hate you so much?

Not enough hugs as a child.

Frank framed him

for stealing state secrets.

So he went from being

a highly decorated

counter-intel officer

to... [chuckles]

...to being a pariah.

What's ironic though,

is that Frank

actually created

the circumstances

for his own death.

It's poetic.

I ain't dead yet.

Should you eat that?

Is that safe?

It's before they had that,

you know,

"sell by" date stuff.

Oh.

So did you get to

meet Castro?

Who?

Did you get to meet Castro?

Yes, I did, actually.

About two weeks

after Kennedy

was assassinated.

Talking of which, Frank,

I'm starting to remember

more and more who I am

and who I was

and the weapons I made.

My God,

it really is amazing.

How efficiently

those boys from MI6,

may God bless 'em...

But you know something, Frank?

They really do throw us away.

Don't they, old sport?

When we're no longer

convenient, I suppose.

As though

we'd never given them

the best years of our lives.

Bit of a joke, really.

Yes, very strange.

Do you remember

where Nightshade is?

I'm sorry, my dear?

Do you remember

where Nightshade is?

Oh, yes.

Now, this feels right.

It's around here somewhere.

I'm sure this time.

Everything looks

different completely.

Maybe it's over here.

It's been hours. Hours.

[Bailey] Yeah, this is it.

Here we are.

How are those Jimmy Choos

working out for you?

The entrance is up there.

Who's Papa John?

[Marvin] It's new.

Entrance to what?

[Bailey] Secret tunnels

through the old catacombs.

Brezhnev used it

to sneak his mistress in.

[Sarah] In where?

[Bailey] In there.

[Frank] The Kremlin?

The weapon is

in the Kremlin?

It's the one place

they wouldn't look.

[hammering]

Jesus. Do you mind

keeping it warm?

[Philips] You have no idea

the damage you've done.

You kept one of our own

locked up for 32 years.

I have kept the world safe.

If that weapon

falls into the wrong hands...

The weapon?

[sighing] You haven't

the slightest idea.

You must let me call Moses.

He doesn't know

what he's walking into.

You've had your chance.

It's over.

I'm sorry, Victoria.

[scoffs]

Sorry, my ass.

[door closing]

They say

you're a legend around here.

I've...

I've never heard of you.

Must have been

a bit before my time.

[grunts]

[groans]

[handcuffs clicking]

Well, you've heard

of me now.

How is it possible

they never picked up

the radiation signature

from that bomb?

That's the

million dollar question.

Hey, gang. This is new.

What do you think

is behind that wall?

Um...

I think Russians.

If anybody sees that hole,

we're dead.

I'm gonna need you to help me

to disarm the weapon.

Frank, somebody's

gotta guard the door.

[stammers]

No.

But...

[Marvin] You'll need this.

[speaking Russian]

[replies in foreign language]

[Frank] One more time.

[Sarah speaking Russian]

Great. Great.

What does that mean?

"Gas leak.

Maintenance is coming."

Good.

And then they'll move on.

[Sarah]

And what if they don't?

Want a gun?

Yes.

No. No gun.

Just don't move.

You're a security guard.

Don't smile.

You can't smile.

[speaking Russian]

You just never leave

your post. Okay?

Nice.

Two shots, here and here.

Drag the body in there

and repeat as necessary.

No safety.

No safety.

[Marvin] Frank, I don't like

the Kremlin so much.

And I like being

underneath it even less.

[Bailey] Here we are.

That's great.

It's just like yesterday.

There's my wrench or crow bar.

Look at this.

There.

Hey, look, chaps.

That's my old pipe.

I knew I'd left it somewhere.

My dear wife bought this

the fifth, 1969.

It was our

wedding anniversary.

Oh, yes! This is, um...

This is Nightshade,

by the way.

There.

Is that...

That's Red Mercury.

Red Mercury?

We were always told

it was a Cold War myth.

Yes, they said

it couldn't be done,

but I did it. See?

Frank,

if that's Red Mercury,

you can zip it up

in a backpack

and take it

on the White House tour.

It's undetectable.

No signature.

No fallout.

[Bailey] This is a weapon

that will entirely change

the balance

of international power

overnight. Just like that.

[Marvin]

We're all gonna die.

On your knees.

Katja.

No government

should have this weapon.

Not yours. And not mine.

I have orders.

This isn't about orders.

This is about right and wrong.

Don't.

Did you really come

to see me in the States?

Yes.

What color were the flowers

outside my house?

Yellow.

[speaking Russian]

[chuckles]

What in the name of... Hey!

[guard grunts]

What are you doing

kissing this guy?

I didn't wanna kill him.

What kinda

stupid logic is that?

What in the Sam Hill

is she doing here?

She's working with us again.

Like heck she is.

Why were you

kissing that guy?

Kids, what happens

in the Kremlin

stays in the Kremlin.

[alarm blaring in distance]

You are gonna have to

explain this to me.

Hey, Comrades!

Here's to more success.

Success.

[Sarah] And saving the world!

Saving the world!

[Katja] Na zdorovie!

Na zdorovie!

[stuttering]

[cell phone ringing]

I got this. Right back.

Hey.

Where are you?

Moscow.

He's a nutter, Francis.

MI6 didn't lock him up

because he created the weapon

but because

he wants to see it go off.

[gun clicks]

Hello, Frank.

That was Victoria, wasn't it?

Telling you that I was

some sort of a monster

who once wanted to destroy

the Soviet empire.

Yeah. Very slowly.

That's it. Good boy.

Good. In you go.

Marvin...

Guns down.

[Bailey] Weapons down.

Very slowly.

You planted the thing

on WikiLeaks.

Oh, yes, it was a cell phone

taken from a guard.

I was just itching to get

my revenge on MI6, you see.

Frank, you were

absolutely marvelous

the way you found The Frog.

No one else

could have found him.

Jack?

Sorry, Frank,

I made a deal already

with Mr. Horton

for Red Mercury.

Well done, Bailey.

Thanks.

[Horton]

Nice to see you again, Frank.

Pick up the guns.

Your country appreciates

your sacrifice, Frank.

But your time's up.

Let's go.

It's time, Bailey.

Yes, it is time.

Very Interesting.

Rogue American agents

turned nuclear terrorists

kill top Russian officer.

Not good.

So long, Frank.

So long, Marvin.

Come on, boys, let's go.

Easy. Easy.

[indistinct shouting]

Oh, please,

let me take that from you.

I thought we were doing

the debriefing in London.

[Horton] Oh, we were.

But since you're such a sick,

twisted bastard,

you're going to Colorado.

There's a secret

facility there,

it's about a mile underground,

where you will

spend your remaining years

having every bit of knowledge

plucked from that

giant head of yours.

[laughs] Really?

Hmm.

And since

we're speaking frankly,

I should say that it will

make your last 32 years

seem like a vacation

in the Caribbean.

Cuff him.

Mmm.

Oh, I say.

Well, well.

Bet you didn't

see that coming.

Did you, old man?

I must say, I didn't.

Jolly good.

After you.

[Bailey] Thank you.

Good morning, gentlemen.

[speaks Russian]

[shout in Russian]

What did he say?

Ready.

Do something. Do something.

I love you.

At least Han

didn't get us first.

Really? You're gonna

bring that up right now?

[ordering in Russian]

[gunshot]

[indistinct shouting]

Ah, there is nothing more sexy

in the whole world

than a beautiful woman

with an incredible gun.

You're such a romantic.

Watch your eyes.

Close your eyes.

[whimpering]

I love the way your toes curl

right before you fire.

[chuckling] Hopeless.

Mmm. [sniffs]

Ah!

[handcuffs clicking]

[clanking]

Freeze.

Shh!

You know something?

I don't think

you ought to point

that idiotic thing at me.

You should really

start thinking

about your security protocol,

don't you think?

What the hell is that?

That, my dear boy,

is an antidote

to the most powerful nerve

agent ever created. Look.

[vial shattering]

[gas whooshing]

[choking]

Hello, boys.

[muttering indistinctly]

[firing gun]

[men grunting]

Hello, Mr. Davis.

And you didn't

see that coming.

Did you, old sport?

I'm sure you wouldn't want

to miss what's coming next.

It's a little antidote.

Jolly good.

That's right.

Uh, uh, uh, uh.

Good. Thank you.

Jolly good.

[Victoria] Honestly, two days,

Frank, two days,

and you're in front

of a firing squad?

Yeah. But look...

No. No excuses.

You're better than this.

It's pathetic.

Frank, an American

military transport

made an emergency landing

in London.

Everyone aboard

was found dead.

Bailey has taken refuge

in the Iranian embassy.

[Marvin] The Iranian embassy?

We've gotta go there.

All right. Get 'em ready.

I'm gonna make sure

we're cleared for takeoff.

If the world is here

in a week,

I will meet you

in the Turks and Caicos.

Mmm-hmm.

And we will spend all night

beneath the stars.

Beneath the stars.

Mmm...

[Sarah chuckles]

[speaking Russian]

[cocks gun]

[blade zings]

[grunts]

[both grunting]

[speaking Korean]

I don't speak Korean!

You having fun yet?

I'll let you know

when I start having fun.

[Han] You betrayed me.

I had no choice.

You'd have done

the same thing,

if you were me.

How much is the US

paying you?

20 million.

Are you kiddin' me?

I asked for more.

What happened to you?

You used to be a good agent.

Stop! Wait a minute.

Listen, I need your help.

I know there's a part of you

that wants to do

the right thing.

There is a weapon

that's gonna be detonated...

Bullshit.

It's not bullshit.

There's a bomb

headed for London right now.

Eleven million people

are gonna lose their lives

if you don't help me.

[gun clicks]

[grunting in frustration]

[panting]

All right.

Let's go.

This doesn't mean I'm not

going to kill you later.

I know.

[Victoria] I think the way

to make a relationship work

is that neither of you

give up who you are.

Don't you agree, Marvin?

[mumbling indistinctly]

Exactly.

Exactly what Marvin says.

Falling in love

is like jumping off a cliff.

You just have to

believe and let go.

My God!

[Frank groans]

Are you okay?

[cocking gun]

No, he's all right.

He's with us.

We talked it out.

Kill Bailey.

Secure the weapon.

How hard can it be?

[Victoria] Of course,

the external security

is very, very heavy

but inside there are hardcore

Revolutionary Guards.

They are serious fanatics.

The whole thing

depends on her.

You do realize,

if they catch you,

they will kill you.

[Sarah] I know this won't be

easy for you, but don't worry.

Okay?

You know,

I've been thinking about

you and me.

And I just...

I got you something.

Wow.

You like it?

I love it.

Seven rounds.

Okay.

Not yet. I'm not ready.

[whispering] Stop, no.

Not right now. Wait.

If you don't do it,

you're gonna blow it,

all right?

Look at me.

I'm gonna count to three.

Mmm. Listen...

I'm gonna count

to three, okay?

We can go back to the...

In English.

One...

Not now. No. Wait.

Two...

[screams]

God damn it.

[Sarah crying]

Hi.

[sobbing dramatically]

[Frank]

She's gonna get killed.

It's tough when

they leave the nest.

Frank, come on.

A little trust.

She has talents

you and I will never have.

What talents?

People like her.

If she lives,

this'll be good

for your relationship.

[Marvin] You're right.

And if there's

one thing I know,

it's women and covert ops.

That's two things.

No, grasshopper.

It is not.

I wanna tell you a secret,

Mr. Minister.

Is she gonna make out

with this guy, too?

Ohh!

What the hell was that?

[Sarah] Blowfish poison.

Paralysis and shooting pains

will grip your entire body.

And you will slowly asphyxiate

until you choke to death

while remaining

fully-conscious,

unless you do

exactly what I say.

I will die before

I compromise my country.

Okay. We will drive you

to your office

where you will write a letter

on official stationery

denouncing the treatment

of women in Iran.

Then you will

get your antidote.

That's it?

[speaking Persian]

How may I help you?

[speaking Persian]

[whistling]

Ah. Dr. Bailey,

my apologies for the delay.

Professor Dombrovski has

declared the weapon authentic.

And we're prepared

to proceed.

As soon as

my money's transferred,

Mr. Ambassador.

Move! She's with me.

Arman?

[speaking Persian]

He needs to go.

Okay, okay.

[speaking Persian]

What are you talking about?

Who is she?

Sir, I'm sorry,

you need to leave.

You need to shut up!

No.

[man] What?

What is happening here?

Sorry. What are you doing?

Tell me

what is happening here!

Who is she?

Get out!

When I say "get out,"

get out of here!

You need to go!

You shut the fuck up!

[breathing heavily]

[Sarah] Where's the safe?

What?

Where's the safe?

Poo poo's coming.

[phone ringing]

24 Hour Plumbing.

[man] Hurry. Emergency.

Water everywhere. Come quick.

[mouthing]

[guard] Stop!

Plumbers, wait!

It's okay! This way.

Money received.

Good show.

Let's see our friend here.

Would you lend me

your knife, please?

Thank you.

[grunting]

Sorry about the mess

on the carpet.

Oh, well.

At this point, Jack...

You don't mind me

calling you "Jack," I hope.

You must be beginning

to comprehend

the stunning totality

of your failure.

You can't give it to them.

Oh, I've no more interest

in giving Red Mercury

to these boys than I have

in giving it to you.

[powering up]

Jesus.

Yes, it's a sad old world,

you know.

Anyway,

that's only my opinion.

But the central point

is this, Jack,

you see, when men like you

and those dickheads from MI6

or CIA or whatever

sewers you came from.

When you take away

not only my life

but the innocent lives of

my dear beloved wife Natasha

and my little boy, who was

only six, you see. Yes.

I mean, what can I say?

When you mess

with me, buddy,

this is what you get.

Go to hell, old man.

[grunting]

Fare thee well, patriot.

[groans]

Boom.

Now what's next?

Ah, Washington.

[grunts]

Baby, hey.

[grunts]

Are you okay?

Hah!

Awesome!

Oh, shit.

Is that it?

It's counting down, Frank.

Shut it off. Right?

[stutters] Shut... Yeah.

With what? Acupressure?

I don't know.

Well, why is it

my responsibility?

[Han] Just do something.

[Marvin] With my

Mr. Chemistry set?

I don't know

what I'm doing.

You want me

to push a button?

Bailey's loose

and the bomb's ticking.

[guard] Wait. Excuse me, ma'am.

Hello, I have an appointment.

[woman] Gun!

[all screaming]

Get that bomb outta here.

Drop it now, darling.

That's right.

[Sarah] My gun!

Press the button.

Ground floor.

Marvin, let's go!

[grunting]

Jolly good show.

[car engine starts]

Bollocks.

You really drive

this ridiculous thing?

Can you shoot?

[engine revving]

We need eyes, Francis.

Come on, Frank.

Forty minutes.

Marvin, how ya

doin' back there?

[muffled] I can't talk

to you right now.

[gasps]

How is it?

It's fine.

Shit!

Show me something.

[tires screeching]

[Frank] Victoria,

I got eyes on.

Bailey's heading for the M4.

Got it.

[Marvin] Got it!

This one should stop it

and this one

should detonate it.

It's fifty-fifty, Frank.

Wait!

[beeping rapidly]

That's weird.

Do you have any idea

what you're doing?

Wait, wait!

Wait!

[beeping faster]

Stop cutting wires!

I knew we were gonna die!

Ready to kill

this son of a bitch?

Abso-bloody-lutely.

Damn it!

Trouble.

Marvin!

Frank, it's two pedals

and two sticks.

Okay.

[truck honking]

Damn it! We missed him.

He's going into the airport.

[Frank] Go get him!

Well, where are you?

In trouble.

[police] Turn back!

You are in

restricted airspace.

Frank, they're gonna blow us

outta the sky.

I wouldn't worry about that.

The engine's shutting down.

Mayday! Mayday!

[Marvin] Frank!

I knew we were gonna die!

POLICE:

This is your last warning!

Oh, please,

tell me you're not crashing

with a weapon

of mass destruction.

[Marvin] No, Frank, no.

Oh, God.

[timer beeping]

[grunting]

You okay back there, Marvin?

It wasn't exactly

a three-point landing, Frank.

How's the bomb doing?

I can't stop it.

[Frank] We gotta

get it outta here.

Hey! Hey!

Get outta the car.

[Bailey] Hello, Frank.

Welcome aboard.

Always the good soldier,

aren't you?

Stalemate.

How will you take him out

and not shoot her first?

Frank, it's okay.

You can shoot.

It's okay.

[Bailey] Put the gun down.

Put the gun down!

Drop the gun!

Put the gun down, Frankie.

Thank you.

Pretty smart.

So love does conquer all.

Go to your golden warrior.

That's a good girl.

Aw!

[Frank] Come here.

[Bailey] Ah! It's so sweet.

Now leave the plane.

Take Nightshade with you.

Bye, Frank.

Sweet dreams.

Why didn't you

just shoot me?

What happened?

I couldn't disarm it.

Oh, crap.

[mutters in Korean]

Marvin,

it's going to detonate?

Yeah.

Put your arms around me.

[sighs]

[whistling softly]

[rapid beeping]

Oh...

I didn't see that one coming.

[distant explosion]

There's something

you don't see every day.

[Victoria] You put the bomb

on the plane.

And, um, you didn't think

to mention that?

You blew up my plane.

Sorry.

I was wrong?

So we're not even gonna die?

Not yet.

I was actually

starting to like you.

I was even thinking about

not killing you.

This is what happens when

you try to save the world.

Han. Han, you can't

put a price

on these things.

Uh-uh.

You owe me 30 mil

for the plane.

And 20 for not killing you.

You're a dead man, Moses.

Thanks for your help.

Really.

You think he means it?

Nah, he's a nice guy.

I mean it, Frank!

All right.

[Victoria] Aw!

They're going to be

right as rain.

He made the run

to emotional safety.

[Frank] So...

I did hear

about this job in Caracas.

And?

[upbeat music playing]

[patrons screaming]

[Sarah firing]

Don't look at me.

She's your girlfriend.

Oh.

Come on.

[upbeat music playing]