Original subtitles

Un_Plan_Parfait_(2012)_Fly_Me_to_the_Moon ,BR_MKV_H264_AC3[5.1](TF1Films,Fre,Eng,Rus,Dan,Sub) 1280x544 - 24 FPS

AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday

- Me, what bothers me,

is to hear all day that a lot of guys want to settle down.

Sorry, but I'm looking for 6 months.

Well, this is the Sahara.

And I did everything eh! ♪ I put

all my chances. I go out at night alone necessarily

but it is not so bad as that.

♪ did a singles cruise.

But I'm not a sailor, I vomited

for one week.

I registered on sites meeting, there is as tainted.

- So! Sorry! Small jar of foie gras

pears with salad. - Yes, thank you.

- OK.

- The blind dates, speed blind dates, racks ...

- An unknown £ 1 Christmas?

- This is the new boss of Coco a size of the edition.

She was alone.

- It is boring! - Well, yeah!

- Other resolution

I saw a stylist and changed hairstyle.

With Francis, my hairdresser, was chosen

scanning by lifting the roots.

Yes, because I tried open my face.

It is quite successful.

- She would do close his mouth.

- I met person but I do not care.

Because ...

what matters is the approach having gone to the other.

Finally, since my divorce ...

the last 6 months were wonderful.

She sobs.

- Honey!

Leave it! Chialez, go ahead, it has to come out.

- Sorry, I'm sorry.

I'll rot your Eve.

- No, no. - Are you kidding?

- Me, you weary me.

- Mom!

- A nightmare this chick!

- Valerie divorced there 6 months. - She said

five times. Where is the problem?

- (Tremolo) The problem is that I'm 36 ...

The love of my life dumped me like shit.

I saw evil.

I meet people, nothing

that assholes who want to fuck me.

- The small! - Dad, what's jump?

- Sorry ... - Jump, honey ...

it is to cuddle, a little hard.

- What is hard?

- I'll explain later.

- I never find him someone.

I'll end up alone.

- Well, Veronica!

- Valerie!

- Yes, it's the same.

We have a story for you. - We will not listen

history, it will! - Please t!

- I'm leaving. - No, remains.

- Well, Valerie ...

In fact, for all women of the family,

first marriage is never good.

As a curse.

- Rather a twist of fate. - A curse!

It goes back so I know more. - 1884.

Adele my great-grandmother.

My grandmothers, aunts, cousins,

all have remarried

to be happy.

- I will divorce myself.

- (All) Of course!

- Do not tell him that.

- (All) Oh yes, yes, yes!

- Here, 1 never goes.

- Valerie!

I am the second.

Grandpa too.

- Yes.

- One wanted to escape.

- Isabelle!

- Who is it?

- My big sister.

It began there 10 years.

She met Pierre final-year dental college,

its new charge of TD.

Tall, handsome guy.

Howl

Very Quickly ... - Please t!

He became his private tutor.

Soon she moves in with him.

Very Quickly it gets home.

They work together ... - Open well.

- In fact, they do everything together. For 10 years,

week repeated.

- The Sunday brunch.

- Lsa, foot. - Monday is bowling.

- Yes!

- Tuesday, "Les Mille flavors."

- Veal?

- (Ensemble) Yes, Pascal.

- Wednesday, Pictionary.

- A club chair. - Yeah!

- Come on! Giggle

- Thursday morning

This is tennis.

- And on Friday, they ...

I spare you the details.

- Come on, do chains, Coco?.

- Short! Peter was man his life.

But it was the first. - It has

decided not to marry.

- No bitch, lsa! - She turned away

the curse. - But to be truly happy,

it lacked something.

- At first, they lived well without children.

But it took strange proportions.

- What are you doing?

- Sorry!

- In a few months, it became an obsession.

She thought constantly.

When she not thought, her biological clock reminded him.

- I'm going to Picard.

Will it?

- Yes, great!

Plenty of couples have children without being married.

- For my mother, we already saw the ultimate sin.

A kid be the child of the devil.

She splashed holy water 1 pound each time.

Laughter

Imagine in the small Mac.

In Barzic, it is always marriage and baby.

You got one thing to one pound.

Marry me.

- You know I can not.

- Sorry.

- It took a bit, she took

on it, before cracking.

- We love for 10 years, we know each other? t by heart.

It will anything happen to us.

A small wedding quickly and then voila, eh ...

It will be nice.

- Since when you smoke?

- Since now.

- What nonsense!

- You were so happy. - You had

found the flaw.

- I know, but I want children with him.

- It will be nice when you're alone.

- Mom!

- I'll catch you.

He whistles.

- Hi my friend! How do you get to say yes

when you know?

- Do not tell me what you think 21 their bullshit!

- No, but I'm glad being the second.

He exclaims.

You will pass "Vertigo of Love" at the wedding?

- Sorry, we take a DJ. - Certainly not.

It mimics a mix.

The musical entertainment, this is Patoche.

Make some noise, go.

I attack the mic, I have no mic.

Uh uh

I felt that I wanted. - But ...

Sorry, I can not see well the relationship with the DJ.

- Stop with this anecdote, who cares.

- A story is a faceted prism. - Ball: 21 facets.

- Farah Facets. - Brigitte

Fosset - No lost.

- I lost the.

- Stimorol. - Oh yes! Denmark

you can get married and divorce in 30 minutes.

- Ah! - That's what she would do.

Express Marriage then divorce.

We called it: Stimorol operation.

- Wow, you voila!

- 9:53, landing in Copenhagen.

You expect a young student, Lars Von Anderson.

Mayor at 11am, he will say "Yes".

11:30 amicable divorce.

15h, return to Paris and voila!

- This is risky? - No.

- I lie to Peter, I hate myself.

- You told him what?

- The 1st thing that came to me: you're depressed

and I'll go with you for a spiritual retreat.

- This is what you came first?

- I know.

- We're neighbors. And it tumbles?

- Figure it out.

- Put it! - What is it?

- This is the storm

Snow. - Oh no!

- Hi!

- I'm afraid of flying.

- Undskyld mig, men jeg tror, dusidder sted i put

- Huh?

- Undskyld mig, men jeg tror ...

- I'm not Danish. - Sorry!

You're sitting (': 1 me. - Ah! Yes.

The hostess told me to do with you.

♪ am very afraid of flying. ♪ like to

see outside.

- I understand. - Thanks, that's very nice.

Yes?

- I look for the place.

Rest assured, if it crashes, on or it hurts the same.

And you're more likely to die by getting your bread.

At the same time,

I can not afford to be afraid, I travel constantly.

I work the Backpacker.

The guide.

- I know. - Jean-Yves Berthier.

They call me gingiva.

Delighted. - Hello.

- You go to Denmark? - Yes.

As all of us here.

- No, I'm in Kenya 21 Nairobi.

Oh shit! I forgot something in my bag.

That ...

You ask me I'm here, right?

- Yes.

- I save 280 euros

with 5 ': the stop 1 pound Copenhagen.

System D, D like doing.

You know what we do

aves 280 euros leg-down? - No.

- All we can do anything.

You know what I do? - No.

- Nothing, because I am responsible.

What will you do

Denmark, you? - Marry with a stranger.

It cost me 5000 euros.

♪ I want to rest a little, Now.

- A white wedding?

Congratulations, it's clean!

I say nothing.

Ah, marriage, this is what it was!

When I think 1 pound my parents!

You know the time it took Dad 21 ask the hand of mother?

24 hours.

Their marriage lasted 70 years.

Fucking Jean-Yves ... Pull yourself together.

I like it when I fall on the right, it will be so on.

And you?

- What makes you think I'm talking about?

Headphones, mask ...

- Sorry!

It hums.

Nu-

- Louise Do you understand?

What do you say 5 ': Uncle Peter? - That you're the.

- I told you to tell him I'm not.

If you see him, you tell him?

- What you told me to tell him that you were not.

- It freelancing nothing.

They ring the door 5.

- It is very good that!

Nu-

- Who is it?

- Coco, Coco, I found ...

What, what What is it?

Eh! - Are you with someone?

- No! You fall very well, Peter.

I worked on the music for marriage.

♪ have a rather complex choice.

After the eastern sequence Enrico Macias

it connects? do the disco the medley Boney M.

- Yeah! lsa said to Corinne.

This is not too serious?

- What is it?

- His depression. You can tell me.

- Yes, yes. - This is crazy, this story.

I am if you want.

How you holding up?

With the little one? - Nickel is

school, cushy! - It's Sunday.

- Yeah, it's Sunday.

It's Sunday, Michèle Torr. He laughs.

There she is in remedial courses.

It is not very smart.

You see the madness?

Vibrate Er ...

You know what?

It is not taking the lead. Sit!

When cool! We will be good coffee and the kiffer.

Agree? Let's go!

- Yes, lsa!

It has not come?

- He has planted me, I am alone.

I fall every time on the answering machine.

♪ waiting since 5:00, your great plan!

* - What you gonna do ?

- In your opinion, I go.

* - No, you're almost there .

You go: 31 Paris married and divorced.

- How do I ? * - I do not know .

Be creative and surprise me.

- You're funny ! * - Look around you .

* Seeking a single guy.

* Finds the first idiot came

* and returned him there.

- Ah the wedding! Ouand I fall on the right,

be so on.

# And you

- Hello. I would buy ...

- In French.

Super!

Are the churches in Kenya?

- Of course.

- So I'd like a place for Nairobi.

- OK. - You have a call rate

with 280 euros in savings, right?

- No.

But there is a place in business £ 13,200 euros.

- Ah ...

Thank you.

That leg-you do?

- And you?

- I'm leaving 21 Nairobi.

- You marry YOU more with a Dane?

- I was joking,

I thought you played the minesweeper who goes to the same place.

- No, not at all. - Sorry.

♪ I had horrible sound.

- Yes, though.

She laughs. - I'll be forgiven.

Sorry, I would like to be placed next to Jean-Charles.

- Yves. - Excuse me, Mr. Yves.

- Jean-Yves.

- Jean-Yves.

- You're in business class.

- How so?

Oh no!

It's always like that.

We still outclassed me.

I want my place in eco.

Congratulations! Someone else.

- Me, please t?. - No problem.

- Thank you.

Thank you

- Of course!

He laughs.

Will it?

You make a good trip? - Super.

- That's good.

I wanted to apologize for just £ 1 per hour.

- I hear you.

- How so?

- I hear your excuses.

- Oh, uh ...

I apologize for ... - It's simple, shit!

Want YOU apologize go fuck!

He laughs.

Relax You! You're not the only one who can

be unpleasant. Laughter

This is a joke. - Of course.

Excellent!

Excellent, yes.

- This is the first time Kenya?

- Are you kidding?

At least, the fourth time this year.

♪'m really need right now.

This is my oxygen.

- Speaking of which, for diving ...

- Because I'm single.

I just broke up with my boyfriend.

The good news is that

I am alone.

Completely free.

- It's better than being in bad company.

- Oh no!

It is better to be very good company.

- No, better to be alone than in bad company.

- Okay.

- You put me doubt. - Ah!

- No, finally.

- You are not authorized ahead in business class.

- Okay, okay, two seconds.

It will! - Thank you.

- Oh well, £ 1 £ 1 all the time!

- Fuck off!

- Sorry! Excuse me!

He whistles. - Oh! Oh!

- No! Wait!

(in Kenya) - Bouary ...

Asante. -. Karibu

- From the entrance, the Nairobi Serena Hotel the tone.

That of a discreet hotel scented tropical ...

0 var; - Hello, sir.

I can take your luggage?

- In fact, I did not stay at this hotel ...

- Reception, please t?

- By.

Cry

- Isabelle!

- Jean-Yves, it's crazy, What are you doing here?

You do not would follow me?

- No, not at all, I ...

- You treat women well?

A kiss and more news?

- It was you who kissed me.

- This is crazy

to be in the same plane Copenhagen-Paris-Nairobi

then in the same hotel. - Yeah.

- Good going!

Put your jersey I found you one pound pool.

- Yes, uh, no, I can not, I finished and I bosser file.

- You will not sleep here? - No, Zebra lodge.

- They reopened? But it is': I was asleep before they close.

Wait, I'll cancel my room.

Agree? - Okay.

- Hi!

- Sorry, I do not speak French.

- No problem, you just move your lips like that.

Blah blah blah ...

Well, that's it, perfect!

- In this hotel you will also find two restaurants, a bar, a casino ...

- This is good ... - No, please t?.

II there is a golden rule: Dictaphone silence.

Up "over" prohibits

to speak to me, understood?

- Sorry. - A casino therefore,

a swimming pool and spa, short ...

any distinction that may require in a five star hotel.

Over.

Sorry, but the job eh!

- I understand. - You were saying?

- I canceled my room. Shall we? - Yes.

But your luggage?

- No, but I know my Pitou but I had to cut my phone.

The Sisters are strict on it.

You too, I miss you.

Eh, hello? Pierre?

Peter, can you hear me? Hello?

Pierre?

Yes, I hear you there. No, in fact,

is not fit on. Corinne is very bad.

We'll stay a little longer.

She cries.

Huh? No, it's nothing.

Corinne is a panic attack.

No, I remind you, do not remember.

Yeah, me too, I love you. Goodbye.

Oh no!

A door slams.

I was wrong bag.

Shall we?

Jean-Yves. Come and see.

So what?

- Uh, uh ... well it goes.

Yeah, yeah ...

- Another color?

- A? Yes ... huh?

- Yes?

Whoops!

It's hot.

- Oh ... v you ...

It's hot, it's true.

It changes me from Russia.

- You know?

- If you consider that living in Moscow for 12 years,

being responsible for the country department Eastern / Baltic / Russia Backpacker,

it is a little known

Russia, then yes, I know a little Russian.

- So?

- For there yes, but outside this is a little ...

- I try another?

He nods.

- Choose the time.

- See you soon!

- Asante ...

- You are beautiful! - Thank you.

I want to know everything about you, Jean-Yves.

- Hou! I'm Virgo Libra ascendant,

So I do not support the lie, injustice, tobacco and prejudice.

♪ like sofa beds, it is convenient. ♪ likes practice.

I was told pretty.

This is bone false. I do not care my appearance, but my hair.

♪ started losing dice 18. I say without shame, I have implants.

- That's not true?

It's not at all clear.

- I have two credits Cetelem on the skull.

♪ I hate waste.

In coffee, I prefer arabica the robusta.

♪ love dancing, all dances: polka Kazatchok ...

Last year, I even tried the lap dance.

But I have not hooked, no.

A color? Non several. Orange, khaki and overseas.

My figures, it is obvious, 26, the 3rd, 1000.

A book "The Ants." A song: "the Will Survive."

An animal, the centaur.

And if you have lots of triangles, you are Jean-Yves Berthier.

- It is very accurate stuff.

- The advantage when you live alone, is that we learn to know one pound.

♪ forgot, I like bowling.

- Oh, I also like.

- It opened my appetite everything, I'm starving.

- Okay.

- Hi!

Hum! Hum! Oh, what a festival of flavors!

So this is the famous supu? - That's it.

- The supu, S-P-G-G

is breakfast traditional Maasai '

a soup with heart, the lungs and liver

Goat and many other original things.

Over / Two plates, please? T.

I Asante - Karibu

Welcome.

Forced laugh

- Hmm!

I know 21 what

YOU think.

What is a Russophile editor

Africa. - Exactly.

- Not torture me, I tell you everything.

Laughter

This is the chance.

- (Very uncomfortable) II there is no chance that fate.

- Oh no!

I replace Guy

responsible eastern Africa.

The con zapped his recall YF. Emergency repatriation.

It should be suicidal to come without its vaccines.

But I teach you anything.

She laughs.

You have already finished.

- Well, yeah, I love it.

- Take the eye goat there,

I have the feeling of being watched. - Oh no!

- No fuss us!

Yum!

We sing.

Lively African music

Sorry, it's stronger than me.

African Chant

nu-

- Sorry.

- I continue?

- Yes, you can.

- The strategy took good. Jean-Yves had bitten 21 hook.

The hardest part was to bring fish.

- I have an indiscreet question. - Go ahead.

- When was your last love story?

- 12 years.

- Holy cow! It's been 12 years?

- No, I was 12 years old. Sandrine.

Since I had 2-3 adventures but I feel that there is nothing one pound digging.

- This is because we are too demanding too full, too real.

- Exactly.

And you?

- Me, nothing, no one, I am alone.

But recently, I am troubled by someone.

- Really, since when? - This morning.

- How so? - A church!

It is superb. Shall we?

That's wonderful, is not it? - It's not Saint-Petersburg ...

- Shhh!

Jean-Yves

I was not expecting 5 ': that, it fell on me.

You can call it a twist of fate

or fate.

But here ...

I am about maybe : 31 make a big mistake.

But I still want to not do it.

Since this morning, I'm different.

You whack me. So here, Jean-Yves

do you accept ... - Oh, 1:37 p.m.!

- What it is it?

- Well, I'm going to Kilimanjaro.

If you ever want to come with me, it ... that ...

I'd like that.

- Really?

You always wanted to make this work? - Not at all.

I'm a writer.

But it's not fill the bowl.

- Books on? - For children.

But I will not bother with it.

'OK, Super 1

- So, this is the adventure of Beurky's small hairballs

struggling against Arkos ...

She cries.

The cruel Arkos,

the evil prince the kingdom of Grull,

all in a magical forest. It will

maybe a cartoon. - Great, but ...

- Excuse me, but it bothers me. You made me what 21 the church?

Put yourself one pound me.

I met a gorgeous woman. First, it sends me off.

Normal hitherto it happens every day.

Four hours later,

I get one pound his eyes a living god.

I'm missing something. Would you explain?

- No, but ... forget.

I packed alone.

- No, but you're not alone.

- It is not very wise, though?

When I take this route, I never stop me.

However, it often happens to me. - Relax, you will not regret it.

According Guytou, if you do not see it, this is not the time to come.

- OK. - This is the.

- Thank you.

It's beautiful.

- Isabelle? - Yes.

Gasps of fear

- I know, as before

Beauty, I remain silent.

- (Softly) A lion.

A lion ... lion.

Howl - Oh damn!

No, no, no!

Isabelle! Isabelle!

It is important not to turn his back.

- I do not wanna die. - Isabelle, listen to me.

We must face the challenge, show her that you're not afraid.

I saw it on the BBC. The BBC is very serious.

Do not worry.

Squeal

- I do not wanna die. - Shh!

We must tame the beast, it's just a big kitten.

Nein nein, weg

It should speak German as in circuses.

I Weg Weg I Cries of panic

Raus

Oh damn! - What?

Howl

- Isabella, the second solution,

this is to the death and wait.

Little cry of surprise

He mumbles.

Raus! Raus

Squeals

Laughter of relief

Cheers

- It's amazing! ♪ got the fright of my life.

- You see, if I had left you run ...

- You're not freaked out, you?

- No, I swear. - That's it.

- Honestly no, I doubted a little £ 1 a while, but fear not.

I swear.

Ouand I saw ...

It must go. - What is he?

Wait for me.

Cry of Fear

- Do not worry, it's not an animal, just a car starting.

- You left the keys Contact on?

- Affirmative. Exasperated sigh

The most important is to avoid dehydration.

I have already lost in the taiga the leaves have saved my life.

Here, look.

Want. - Thank you.

- You're wrong, it's full of water.

Oh damn, that is bitter!

The ideal would be an elephant dung.

The juice is pressed. It's a bit disgusting,

but it is full of minerals, like buffalo dung,

but not zebras, too small.

Looks like olives. - Shut up!

Please? T! Two seconds.

- Lsa, you take too much sun, that's all.

We will soon be at the foot of Kilimanjaro.

And it is very touristy.

Breathlessness

___

Erratum!

In the evening, the sights are less popular than day.

Over.

Grelote II.

- Thank you.

- We could be in a hotel 5 stars, it has the billions.

- No, Jean-Yves.

I beg you, not this sentence.

No, I can not, I have no strength.

- Look, the Big Dipper.

- No.

- If Ben! If so, this is the Big Dipper.

- No, Andromeda.

The Big Dipper is.

Cassiopeia

Centaur, Pegasus, Orion.

- Well! Laughter

- I have no credit.

My father worked at the space center Germany near Munich.

- He was an astronaut. - No, not at all, but ...

It is never out of his office, but he loved it.

When we got back to France, I was 5 years

he gave me a cabin in the trees.

It was called the observation center.

Laughter

It was great. He had installed a huge telescope.

We spent the whole night

21 stargazing.

He promised me that one day, we go to the moon.

Then he left.

Cry of panic

Cry of pain

Jean-Yves?

Anybody?

Voice and songs off

2]]

It is breathless. - Hey!

It gets better, marmot?

- Yes, it will. - You scared me.

♪ have arranged your repatriation of Nairobi.

Antokokto.

Come here.

Antokokto, it means moped in Maasai '. That's good, right?

Come on!

Antokokto Isabelle!

Monte! It brings you back to the hotel. I'll see you tonight.

- You do not come?

- Sorry, I have to stay for marriage.

- What is marriage?

- The village chief marries his daughter.

Whites normally do not attend.

It will make a beautiful paper. What are you doing?

- I want to stay with you.

- Really?

- I do not like motorcycles. - Ah!

- Antokokto, it is not very bike.

Some details Masai on marriage '!

At first, future husband,

encouraged by the men of the village, will join

the bridal hut.

Over.

Although qu'ancestrale this tradition

is not less modern. In fact,

woman decides to join or not

her future husband in the hut.

- Yes, exactly ...

- Did I say "over"?

Then, silence, please.

If she recovers orcila,

ceremonial dress bridal

and it disappears (': 1 turn in the hut,

marriage is validated in the songs of the villagers.

Over.

- I forgot my jacket in the hut. You bring him back to me?

- Uh, you had not vest!

Shortness of breath

Jean-Yves Jean-Yves Jean-Yves.

Yeah ...

Wait, wait, wait ...

Do you realize of what we do lei?

- Yes.

- Damn, what a slut! - Oh oh!

- Sorry, it's horrible how it treats the poor guy.

- It was not super legit. - My daughter

is insulted, I stop.

- It would be a shame.

Solange! - I go to the bathroom.

Laugh

- I love my mother, even if it is stingy.

- Patrick! - You will see the gifts!

- Bring the turkey.

- Of course!

- So? - This is good!

I'm married.

- Yes! - Come on, it's good.

- How was it?

- Special, I'll tell you.

- My love! lsa!

- Do not turn. - Woah!

What are you doing?

- Well, you know, I have something ...

major (': 1 set with my sister.

Is pressed. - My sister in law.

- Corinne! Magic!

- Jean-Yves. - Her husband.

- Yes, it will. Well, hello!

- You leave me already? - Due to the appointment.

I'm late. - We'll see you at home?

- Okay, we did it. - Super!

And your address?

- I'll call you.

- You're not my number.

- I call you? - What?

How? Wait!

- Damn, you did! I knew it would work.

But the husband had not come back. - That's not my husband.

The wedding was special. - This account?

- Yes, it is a Masai wedding but it counts.

- You're free, this is the main thing.

Ben what, it will not?

- Yes, yes.

- About your marriage with Peter,

Patrick insists to manage the music.

- We'll see.

- II bump Voulzy here is the info is passed.

You can do what you want.

- Veal?

- No, I'll change. Can I?

So, I'll take ...

the rabbit.

- Well, the rabbit! Me too, hey, you live only once.

Two rabbits. Thank you, Pascal.

So what? - Everything is set.

They cured her depression in 3 days?

- Who?

Oh! Corinne, no, everything's fine.

It's amazing what cured!

And the firm?

- Nothing special. Finally, if Mrs. Nizard there, obviously

it is a disaster. Abscess on the 4th.

♪ I have ... What?

- Nothing, I'm happy.

Happy to be and get married.

I'm happy.

- Me too, I'm happy.

- It is not Friday. - So what?

We took the rabbit, right?

Cry of surprise

- Yes!

Cheers

Oh yes! Oh yes!

- Come on, Coco, trapping them.

Come on! Come on!

Super, the ring! Because of you, I go for a cheapskate.

- II are those who have class. - Yeah, that's true.

How's it going, baby? - It bump.

- Um, how old are you now, 49?

-49? 43.

- Oh yeah! You are brave, buddy!

Already $ 130 years, the sunrises at 05h in the morning to pee, poop and poop,

it's hard, but £ 1 your age ...

It will be worse 5 ': adolescence. You get what, 60 years minimum?

Your son hates you, drugs, runaways, the scooter ...

"Dad, I want a scooter. "

"Not on your life." Anxieties ...

But do not think about it, you.

You want a child, great, go for it.

- Thank you, huh.

- But nothing.

- Yes. - That's not true.

Not a keel!

- Again, your fingers must be aligned with the pins.

Way, in ... What?

- (Tense) Track 14.

- Oh no!

'Gava?

- Yes ... I super thirst I'll get something to drink.

What are you doing here?

- I did all the bowling of Ile-de-France.

II there has better elsewhere.

- You can not land one pound unexpectedly.

- You lied to me. You're not single?

- No, it's true.

- I heard you correctly observed. You love him more.

You do not know how to break,

then you go to Kenya, you meet me and you crack the miracle of love.

You go 21 Paris ...

How to tell him you've met your soul mate?

This is clear.

- Yeah, yeah ... Exactly, exactly.

I have to tell him gently.

- OK, I'm waiting to parking.

- No, no, no!

♪ I need a little more time.

- Of course, I'm sorry.

Take your time ... it looks fragile.

- So?

- This is sick.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Hello, Katya. - Hello, lsa.

- So?

- You have a patient an emergency visibly.

A certain Mr. Berthier.

- I can take it. - No, it's good.

No, but you're sick!

- Not bad I say, it smells pépètes.

♪ have a surprise, but let me see before.

- You were supposed to give me time.

- I've been thinking, is better

if I say so. - No!

- If I have often been 21 place.

II better understood. - Oh no!

- Yes

Cry of pain

- No!

scream.

'Go 93. lsa?

- Yeah, yeah, okay.

- It is wrong to react that way.

Regardless, I can tell him to.

(Muffled voice) Mr dentist. - Shh!

- Lsa, no!

Muffled cries - Shh, you shut up!

- Mr. den ... He screams.

lsa! - Shut up.

'Go 93. lsa?

What does he?

Will it?

- Um, great!

- Really? - Grave.

Oh my God!

- What it is it?

Huh? - No, nothing.

It's nothing, nothing. Jean-Yves ...

- Huh?

- Listen to me. - Yeah.

- Are you listening? - Yeah.

- We had a great time Kenya, but is stopped.

(Voice anesthetized) - Oh! But I love you!

- You may be but I do not love you.

I will love you forever.

It is OK? - OK.

- Starting today, I never want to see you.

You leave me alone, okay? - Okay.

He whimpers.

- It's okay.

- An upcoming appointment?

Cry of Fear

(Frightened) Goodbye. - Goodbye.

- Date of the ceremony? - May 15.

Is complete? - One second.

- It is not 5 ': a near day. - Wait.

I do not understand. - A problem?

- You're already married.

- Excuse me?

- Already married.

- Oh no, I think there was error.

- Impossible.

- I struggled 5 ': park me. Where are you going?

I have to sign something?

- Nope!

A signature is sufficient.

- I'm parked Ia ': Netherlands. - II there has

marriage contract, Masai certainly but recorded 21 the mayor of the 18th

by Marc Berthier his brother apparently.

You are married. - That's not true!

He sneers.

What?

- It's funny, according to the contract signed this goatskin

you right 21 3 gold coins, a hut

and 1/2 liter of urine said goat.

If you are not provided, I can get.

Laughter

2]]

- It amuses thee?

- No, sorry. Serge, my sister needs you.

- Yes, of course, sorry.

Uh, this is all completely illegal. It is easy to prove.

- Wow, you do that. - A procedure

accelerated solve it in a year.

- I'm getting married in a month. - Of course,

if he signs a divorce by mutual consent,

it becomes immediately.

But given the man ...

- Give me the paper. - She's in trouble.

I do not understand. Which validated marriage? It's not like that.

- We realized after his brother, Marc Berthier, was working

1 pound civil status of the city of Paris.

- So they were well married!

- Oh yeah! - Completely.

- She was furious. He had to go Quickly

and start by Pierre asleep.

- It was easy, that.

- Not really.

Cheers

♪ I organized a fake funeral life girl £ 1 Marrakech.

My sister was furious, hysterical.

It almost made me afraid.

Jean-Yves was her husband, she would be his wife.

He knew she would him through hell.

- He'll beg me to divorce.

- Some hot vêternents.

- The divorce agreement. - Thank you.

Hi! - Hugs.

- I will drop you oh seven. - Moscow .

- All Muscovites know the grocery Eleseevskii.

But the best kept secret This gourmet temple

it's baking.

The lovely Irina manufactures the best perogies in the city,

often imitated but never equaled. Over.

Hum!

- Jean-Yves!

- Irina, your perogies are a real poem.

Laughter

- Hello.

- Irina, I present you Isabelle.

- His wife.

- How'd you find me?

- The miracle of love.

Since my little joke in the office,

I have not stopped thinking you 21.

It took me a while but ...

I finally understood the nature my feelings.

I want to try my luck with you

If you're okay.

- And your dentist?

- It's over. It was no longer possible.

It must be said that ...

I'm not easy, easy going.

- Yes, but we we are made for each other.

- Exactly.

- Here it is!

- What now? - Yeah.

- Ah! It's very ugly!

- Yes, but it is central.

Wait, wait! - What? What?

She cries.

Ouch !

- Well, it's small, but it's cozy.

You think what? - Honestly?

- Of course! - This is terrible.

- Attention, you carte blanche to redecorate.

This is our home now.

- Oh II} 1 What was your puff?

- Spinach. - Are you sure?

- Make yourself, I'll make coffee.

- You collect rats? - No!

This is the Beurky's for the cartoon.

Air disgusted I told you.

I was suprised to see you in Moscow. But I'm glad you're here.

I'm afraid you veuilles to validate the marriage.

But I'm done, right?

Oh damn!

Oh damn! - What a bitch!

I'm so clumsy, sorry.

I break all I was unbearable.

- It's nothing, it's nothing, I assure you.

The city of wonders, kitten!

Peal of laughter

- Kitten nickname! A game with my sister when we are given a nickname.

- It's fun. - Yeah!

- But what a ball!

It is stupid or he is stupid?

- Well, he did not understand she did not want him.

- Love is blind. - And child bohemian.

- Love is a bouquet of violets. - Love ...

- Too late, you lose.

- That's it!

For her, it was clear. He had to go second.

- II currently more shampoo, What did you do with it?

lsa?

- I give you mine? - Yeah.

Thank you. - Nothing.

- You're not dressed?

What does he?

What, what is he?

She laughs.

Cries of panic

- I'm really sorry.

I do not know how I could be confused.

Stop smiling.

You have to be super pissed!

Your implants have cost you a fortune.

It may not grow back, 21 because of me.

- But if, and if it does not reject, it does not matter.

I know you're not with me for that, but why. And that is not pluck.

- Gum!

- Who is it?

- It is Roman Lonely Planet and Philippe

of Hachette, competitors.

- They are beautiful kids.

Oh, okay!

- Ambassador of France! I'll introduce you.

Sorry!

- Jean-Yves. - Mr. Ambassador.

This is my wife, Isabelle Berthier.

- Good evening. - Mr. Paul Guignou Ambassador

of France. Oh sorry, his wife, Alice.

- Good evening. - Catarina and Vladimir Ulyanov.

- Nice. - Oh!

And my old friend Andrei 'Petrovski it makes him nothing.

This is a freeloader.

- My dear Jean-Yves you régaliez us with your writings,

also enchant our eyes

Now. - Thank you.

- Tell us.

How stupid seduced beautiful?

- Private property, unauthorized entry.

- Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

- Thank you.

- Jean-Yves is modest,

but you can tell us. - Good.

II a few years ago, I did the sidewalk.

♪ got tired.

So I threw myself into the net.

The user pays and gives the orders.

"Imitate the goat" "Call me a fagot"

"Put it in your ass" routine ...

Then one day,

Jean-Yves connects.

A ray of sunshine.

The problem is it is premature ejaculation,

So he returned

4 or 5 times daily.

But it was befriended and after 4 years, we decided to meet.

That's it! - No, that's not it.

That's not it at all, not at all.

This is not ... Peal of laughter

- Okay, it was a joke.

Laughter This is humor.

- Hi, Igor.

- Hello. I'll be right there.

- Listen, Isabelle.

♪ I read in your little game

I walk not kitten.

She laughs.

- Kitten-nickname.

(In Russian)

- Isabelle, all your escapades there

this is fear, you flogged, you tags, this is normal.

Embark on a life together until death, it's creepy.

- Yeah!

- But damn, it's beautiful!

So lighten up, guard down.

Huh? Gather the rose.

(In Russian)

Cabaret Notchka Igor Petrovich

cabaret is 5 ': fashion ... (In Russian)

What ... Oh no!

No, Igor!

(Russian Accent) - ... Jean-Yves Berthier.

Music! - No, no, no!

(In Russian)

- No, stop.

No, no, no, no!

- Coco, it's me, no it will not.

Nothing works, it is a fiasco.

♪ did things I do not imagine I can,

I behave as the worst bitches

And he looks at me with her eyes Labrador.

It makes me almost worth it. If so, I assure you.

Ever, sign me This paper divorce, never.

It does what now?

I'll call you.

Applause

- This tea is a specialty Caucasus is very good.

Do you want sugar? Normally, it is drunk without.

Isabelle?

lsa?

Isabelle?

* - No !

* He never sign me This paper divorce, never.

* II does what there ':

* I've done things I do not feel able.

* I behave as the worst bitches.

* And he looks at me Labrador with his eyes.

* It makes me almost of the sentence, if so, I assure you.

* No, never, he will sign me This paper divorce, never.

* II does what there ':

(In Russian)

- What? Shh!

Okay, two seconds.

Jean-Yves He insisted that I present.

Richard, my "imaginary" friend.

I know for me, you're real.

Finally, veiled!

Jean-Yves, I present to you Richard, Richard, Jean-Yves. Are you happy?

Well, say hello to him.

- Hi Richard, how will you?

Middle?

I understand.

Huh? Really, you want me to do that? OK, if it makes you happy.

- But what do you do lei?

- Richard asked me to spread my jam.

Funny, is not it? - Stop it.

- Do you mind?

I spoke with Richard, the.

Yes, Richard? Yeah ...

So yes, of course, do not worry.

The like that? Voila!

Oh damn, it's hot!

But we have fun though!

- Jean-Yves!

- Yes, Richard?

How could I believe I liked him?

♪ know, it's like this, I must be a little stupid.

Oh, by the way!

You will give him that.

♪ I found a protocol divorce in her purse.

And I signed it.

Hi, Richard!

- Jean-Yves!

Wait for me! Jean-Yves!

Jean-Yves, listen to me please? T.

- What do you want? You have your letter.

- Jean-Yves.

It's been 10 years I'm with a man.

I married in a month.

But in my family, first marriage is never good.

II I had a first husband ...

and divorce.

- Why me? - I'm sorry for everything.

♪ thought s all mine.

And I do not know ...

You were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

You can hate me.

- Jean-Yves! - No shit, not them!

(In Russian)

- Mr. Integrity is the call girl?

- Bravo, Gum!

- Gum, nickname.

Come on, hello! - No.

Wait, Jean-Yves, listen to me.

I did not mean to hurt you.

- You're special, you!

- It remains for me 24 hours.

They spend together?

- It's just after the victory the Soviet Union over Nazi Germany

Stalin launched construction of ...

Vyssotnyé Zdania,

also called

In Russian, the two names refer to the word

vyssoko. It means "high" in ru ... Er ...

I will do shit, right? - Not at all.

- If I feel. - No, continues.

- Really? - Yeah.

- II are 7 skyscraper Stalin wanted to start 8

for 800 years of the capital.

- Lev is boring.

- I knew it. Have you seen?

- It is not your head.

She laughs.

- Why?

If Blandine was Solange first marriage

and she then married with Marcel

your grandfather is ... - Hector 1.

- That's the family stories!

With us the big toe is smaller than the second,

it's a bit like that, right?

- Hmm ... She giggles.

- It's not good?

No, it's not 7 'Do not go Q3.

- I have another one.

It goes well with my eyes. - Oh yeah!

Top! Perfect!

Sublime!

She laughs.

- You went there a bit much anyway.

My implants, my shelf ... - I know.

I'm sorry.

But you're also tough.

- I know, as soon as a woman I like t, I get heavy.

- Really?

Here, try that one.

Do you like it t? - Yes.

- I offer.

- Thank you. She laughs.

Fanfare

nu-

♪ have a riddle.

- This is not the time.

- I know, but it's funny.

What is the Russian the less fortunate of the story?

- I do not know. - Ben him cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin.

Seventeen times around the Earth to fall in Russia.

She laughs.

Shh!

No, seriously, stop it!

Gagarin is a national hero here.

Every year on March 27, is national mourning.

What it is it?

- I forgot the anniversary the death of my father.

- You're the girl of Gagarin? - But no!

He died on March 27 as well. - Oh yeah, I'm stupid.

He was German and more.

And then you're too young Gagarin died in 1968.

You want more than your mother or your father?

- My mother is very square, it leaves nothing to chance. I have a bit of that.

- A lot, right?

- Nice!

- That's not true?

- I hope I have a little the passion of my father.

- Whoa! - He was passionate ...

crazy mom.

Then, the disease has prevailed.

- They have not divorced?

- No, he's gone before ...

and I was never taken on the Moon.

- Come with me. - What?

- Come on.

- Where are we going?

- It's not the moon, but it comes close.

- What? - Come with me.

- Well! - What?

- But never in my life! - This is what I found best.

This is Russian It is solid.

- Oh, no! - If so, come on!

Come on! - No!

- We will first climb 21 vertical.

Then the plane will steady freefall,

and we will be weightless.

- What did he say? - Nothing, nothing.

It will float how long?

- Approximately 20 seconds.

- It is a problem? Tell me now!

- No, no, everything's fine!

We will do how many loops?

- Thirty.

- How much? - Thirty.

- What is it?

- To vomit.

- What? - If.

- Oh, no, no! I want to get.

Niet! Niet!

Niet! Oh no!

Exclamations of surprise

2]]

- Are you okay?

- Yes, thank you.

- How are you? - Yes, yes.

- It was great! You like it?

- Yeah, yeah! - Can we start over?

One more time, please.

Laugh

Okay? - Yeah.

Little cry fear

Laughter

2]]

'Cave?

Rhythmic music

nu-

He laughs.

Laughter

2]]

♪ it anymore.

- And if I was good?

- You're the first.

- Yeah ...

Oh well ...

- Hi!

Okay? - You scared me.

Did you have a good flight?

- Yes, great!

- What is he?

- I gotta tell you something.

- What?

Are you pregnant?

- No, not at all! - Damn!

You scared me.

No, sorry my love, I'm not awake.

I am unforgivable. Forgive me.

Children 5 ': my age, it's scary, but it's okay, I promise.

It's okay.

- Okay.

- It changes gazelle horns!

Giggle - Yeah.

They ring the door 5.

♪ going.

What are you doing this IT? - Do not worry.

You forgot that.

- Thank you.

- Hello. - Uh ...

Here Jean ... - (Accent Quebec) Jean-Paul

cousin Quebec I come to the wedding.

- Super! Welcome.

- Thank you. - But it is in three weeks.

- It's never too early.

As we say at home:

"Who yawns before 6am sets after

"Midnight". I am well

happy for you guys.

- Do you have family in Canada?

- Well, yeah ... - I

the grand-son of Hector, who emigrated to Quebec

Blandina after

to the left ...

Marcel. - Ah!

We have been exceeded bullshit.

Huh, honey? - Yeah.

- Okay well I'm going, so ...

I just came to say hi. Caribou lsa.

Caribou ... - Peter.

- Oh, Peter!

- Caribou.

Cry of despair

Laugh - You're bad!

- Marrez you! - Well, that's the word.

- In the grooms!

- Enjoy it, it will not last.

- Whether you're heavy! - Do not worry!

I do not think curses.

By cons,

in heavy type,

your cousin, it is browned. - Yes?

- Jean-Paul.

Your cousin Quebec. - Yes?

- Ben Jean-Paul! Jean-Paul!

- Aaaahhh!

(Accent Quebec) Jean-Paul?

- Yes, John Paul. - (Accent) John Paul.

It included not is "Jean-Paul".

- II landed 5 '9 am. - No?

- With a hat bearskin.

Laughter Caribou! Caribou!

"I am John Paul, I come from Quebec. "

The other mimics. - Caribou!

- Caribou!

Come on, yeah! In Quebec ...

Conversation in background

- Lsa, great!

- I can not.

- Yes, you can.

- No, that us.

Monday bowling with my foot never in the right place, I can not stand.

Always the same restaurant, so-called

the best, I can not stand. Not leave

August 5 ': cause of the world, I can not stand.

- Lsa, marriage stresses you.

Okay, but it will go well. - No.

I do not want it to go well.

I do not want it to happen as we had expected.

♪ I want that ...

I want to be shaken, be surprised ...

I want my alarm clock does not ring or my dinner is brfllé.

Who cares.

Or I do not know ... we make love on Monday

and Sunday, you know? Or not at all for a month.

I want to be one pound nose nose with a lion.

- I do not understand, Isabelle, you fart a cable there.

Pull yourself together.

- (Softly) But no.

I fart no cable ...

the contrary.

I'm sorry.

- We won the game?

Cry - Shut up!

- You reprove well a slicer of the leg, right?

- Of lamb, with pleasure.

Lsa like a small slicer? You like meat.

93 Va.

- OK.

- Are you sure?

- Yes, thank you.

- The leg of 7:00.

- (Softly) Mom, it's okay.

- Pierre would have loved.

- You express do?

It's been months now loose it.

You can not stop you!

Holy shit!

One day a kid a lug will break.

And we will come to complain.

She coughs.

- Thou art thou?

Okay? - Yeah.

- If you knew how many times I wanted to rust out the cabin.

But ...

you know your mother. She never wanted.

Can I?

You know what it's like to wake up every morning for 25 years,

to see that damn cabin looking to you to say:

"I was the before you?"

- No.

- No?

That damn balls.

At the same time, I am not fooled. I know ...

the six years that your mother has passed with your father

were the most beautiful his life.

She wanted so the first or the last.

Isabelle ...

my little grasshopper!

Stop wasting time.

- You should have demolished.

- Are you sick or something?

This is the only place I can come to smoke a cigar

without it falls on me.

Cushy.

- You've never told me. - Nope!

I can still surprise you.

Huh?

You love me a little?

- But yes! - And Jean-Yves, damn it!

- Oh oh! Calrnos!

- Sorry, sorry.

- She sought but it was not found.

He had resigned. No address or number.

She knew by his brother he was renovating his house £ 1 Baisieux

and handled groups English tourists.

Electric sander

- That's it? It came and went?

But it sucks! - This is crazy!

How eagerly! I understand why your guy is barred.

Laugh stepfather

No, sorry, sorry. Of the log?

- Some offer their daughter dolls or stuffed animals.

The Duke of Brittany, he offered his daughter this magnificent abbey.

What a generous man.

This is one of the jewels of medieval architecture.

Here ends our tour of Baisieux. Thank you very much.

We are here Tomorrow: 2114 h.

From here, do not overdo cider.

- Thank you, Jean-Yves. - Not enough, thank you.

Thank you very much.

- I have a question.

- Sorry, it's over, it ...

- Will you remarry me?

You know me, The first is never good.

There has to seen ours.

But if you marry again with the first, it becomes the second.

Le, it should work.

What do you say?

- No, I do not think it is ...

- I love you.

- Stop, please t?.

Maasai songs'

nu-

Russian orchestra

nu-

Chants

nu-

Cheers

- Come on.

Lev!

Clash of cymbals

He laughs.

Nu-

- And voila, you're done!

- Your opinion?

- This is a great story.

- But you feel better? - Yeah, yeah ...

it me ... She whines.

- Oh no!

- Here we go again.

- It's crazy, that!

We thought you'd like it.

- If so, it makes me feel good.

No, but ...

is wine, champagne ...

And you are so nice finally.

It me ...

Even if this story is false ...

- It is true. - Even if it was not,

I do not care. - It is painful.

- Sorry, I'm sorry.

- A little bit! - Yeah, yeah.

To us! - Merry Christmas!

- Why are not there '? - They are the Galapagos Islands.

- Really? - Sorry, eh?

An emergency cabinet.

- Valerie, I present to you Peter.

Pierre!

- Peter, Peter and Isabelle.

- YOU have not yet ...

Stop with this story.

I go to a con. - Not at all.

I can not find.

Enchanted.

- Nice.

- Give me your gifts.

Honey! Sit down, relax. Valerie sit too.

You take the log? It is very good. Valerie, you finished your part.

II there was champagne, it's beautiful, it is sublime, it's Christmas, right?

- My darling!

- Wait! Wait!

- Lev, I'm saving a ...

280, wait ... Laughter

Economy ... Where is my bag?

- It's nothing serious anyway?

- We Will resume.

- It is inedible you see?

II there is no chance in life, there that fate.

He giggles.

- Oh no!

- What? - (Laughter) I change Guytou.

- They said action.

- What? - I think they said action.

- What ...

- It is ACTION! - Shy?

- Sorry.

- Shy? Surely yeah. - Action.

- Shy?

Laughter

The Beurky's it's little creatures ...

Violent shock Damn, wait!

Laughter

Wait, that's two times ...

Indeed, the woman decides to join or not her future husband in the hut.

And .. what is ...

In the hut.

OK?

Her future husband in the hut and what is great,

is precisely that, she will recover orcila ...

hours in the hut, or: 31 the entrance of the hut.

Laughter You forgot ...

Her husband the hut and what will ...

Laughter

- Ok, go, go.

If she recovers Orgami and she ... £ 1 turn ...

Laughter

It's me.

Laughter

- Come on, Coco, tear them.

They giggle.

- A man smiled, another cry,

the cruel cycle of life.

It stinks of feet, right?

Laughter

(Voice anesthetized) But I love you.

- And .. Laughter

- What?

- I mumbled in Russian it's crazy.

Do not worry, everything's fine.

(In Russian)

My ass,!

- What? Sco. "What?

Exaggerated laugh

- How are you? Cry of surprise

Laughter

Rhythmic music

- I stopped.

Laughter

Subtitles: c.m.c.

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