Original subtitles

So excited.

Look. This is sick.

ALAN CUMMING: Twenty years ago,

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie

starred in the genre-defining reality hit...

BOTH: * Sanasa * ...The Simple Life.

[SINGING NOTES] To celebrate,

they're staging an avant-garde, one-word opera.

* Sanasa *

Oh! Yes.

Because... why not? Next!

For three weeks, they've hunted cast...

How much do you charge?

...honed their instruments...

[PLAYS OFF-KEY NOTE] You're getting there.

...and sought inspiration for their epic.

Which style would you classify your music as?

Hot.

Iconic. Okay.

Now, the big day is upon them.

I can't wait to see it. NICOLE: Yeah.

Will they prove the doubters wrong?

It sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

Or will their tale of triumph...

* Sanasa! * [LAUGHS]

...become a tragedy?

BOTH: * Sanasa-sa, sanasa *

You're out of tune.

Oh. Oh.

Ta-da!

We really are putting on this opera.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[***]

Leaving their comfort zone

has proven daunting.

With just days till showtime,

Paris and Nicole have no conductor, no composer

and no producer. [HORN HONKS]

Stuck filling those roles themselves,

they hope to secure the perfect emcee

to take hosting duties off their plate.

Look how cute and smiley he is.

Hello! Now they hunt for a host

with the perfect pedigree.

I am so [BLEEP] excited.

Am I allowed to swear? BOTH: Yes!

Oh, I'm excited.

I've been binge-watching the show... again.

Of course, I watched it when it was on,

but I can't stop singing: * Sanasa, sanasa *

ALL: * Sanasa-sa, sanasa *

Ah, it's so good! PARIS: It's so good.

Dream! How are you two? Hi! Good. How are you?

You both look stunning. Thank you.

Oh, my God. Thank you. So do you.

And we're going to Sonic?

We're going to Sonic. Mm-hm.

Okay. I need to calm down a little. I'm too excited.

NICOLE: We're going to our first job.

I haven't been to Sonic since we worked there.

And it was like our first job in real life too.

NICOLE: Yeah. PARIS: Thanks, bitch.

Have a great day. This is fun.

The two of you have the best chemistry in the whole world.

Like, truly. Rewatching it, it just...

Yes. Sill and Bill.

Sill and Bill. Oh, my God. I love it.

[LAUGHS] DANNY: Um... what advice

would you give that version of yourself

that started Simple Lifeat 21?

NICOLE: I don't know. I don't know that I would change anything.

Having fun and laughing with your friends

is one of the highest forms of self-care,

as far as I'm concerned. I think you need it in life.

I don't know if you guys understand.

People like me were obsessed

with watching all of you go out

and go to these nightclubs and stuff.

PARIS: It was so much fun.

There was nothing like the nightlife

in the 2000s in L.A.

And I remember, we would wear these tennis shoes that had

a little button you press... Roller skates.

and we just, like, would skate around the club and--

It was just so fun. I had a ball python, Cleopatra,

that I used to take with me to clubs.

She looked like a little necklace. She was very sweet.

And I would bring a bunny sometimes.

I wish we could get a little of that era back.

It was just so free. It was like something out of a movie.

I mean, we still have fun. We just... do it in private.

[CHUCKLES] I don't really have a desire

to, like, go out to a club five nights a week.

That sounds insane. Yeah. It's a different type of fun.

Just, like, more about your friendship and, like...

just talking and hanging out.

Yeah. Listening to sick music.

Yeah. What are you listening to now?

Me. Your new album?

[LAUGHS] My new album.

This trip to Sonic will be more than a chance

to bond with their new emcee.

It's also a savvy opportunity to connect with fans

and create critical buzz

among L.A.'s discerning fast food

and opera-loving crowd.

We actually used to work here. Okay.

I wanted to get the full Sonic experience.

They were gonna maybe put me to work a little, if that's okay.

Yeah, okay. Were you guys good employees?

For sure. We were the best. [CELESTE CHUCKLES]

PARIS: This is humiliating.

Whoo! [BLEEP]

I used to grow up watching The Simple Life,

so it was really great to see them here at Sonic.

This lighting is so good.

CELESTE: Sonic, is already my happy place,

but it just got so much more happier.

These outfits are working. Yeah.

It's giving... Sonic.

"Sonic Bitch."

BOTH: * Sonic-sa-sa, Sonic-sa *

That should be their new commercial.

[***]

Cooking is all about, like, you gotta, like, feel it.

Feeling it. It's more of an emotional thing.

I'm never eating onion rings again.

Oh, someone's here.

Welcome to Sonic.

How can I help you, you little bitch?

Just kidding. How can I help you?

DANNY: It's Nicole and Paris!

NICOLE: We're putting on an opera.

We would love to invite you.

No? Okay. All right. So just the slushie.

I don't even know what I'm doing.

Why is it shooting sideways?

We're about to put on an opera. It's call The Sanas-Opera.

It's basically a story of our lives

told through, uh, a song that we wrote

that became an international sensation called "Sanasa."

Oh, my God. Do you guys wanna come?

Aah! Stop it! PARIS: Yes.

NICOLE: You guys should absolutely come.

PARIS: We can take a photo together too, if you like.

DANNY: Now, Paris and Nicole, can you teach us how to pose?

NICOLE: It's about constantly moving.

New angle. Never stop moving. Never stop flowing. Smile.

[NICOLE CHUCKLES] You need me to help you?

Yeah. All right.

Hello! This side first.

Okay. Okay. Squeeze.

Bye! Whoa!

PARIS: Amazing. Is there arms?

Yeah. Oh, my God. Can you see? DANNY: Okay, wait.

NICOLE [LAUGHING]: Yes. Okay.

Come on! Operas singers!

[NICOLE EXCLAIMS] PARIS: Oh, God. Is that a bee?

[SCREAMS] NICOLE [LAUGHS]: Run!

Oh, my God. That bee is so big.

It's, like, trying to eat the hot dog.

PARIS: Oh, God. What?

[LAUGHS]

This is Paris and my name is Wiener.

[LAUGHS]

Yes.

That was so fun. [LAUGHS]

Thank you. See you at the opera.

NICOLE: See you at the opera.

[***]

If you want to create an L.A. buzz,

what better way than commandeering

an unsuspecting Hollywood tour bus.

We're coming for a bus takeover.

We're gonna walk up, say hi to everyone.

We're taking over the tour. KESHA: Okay, great.

Okay. Here we go. DANNY: Ladies.

Stunning, stunning, stunning.

Hello. Paris and Nicole recruit

pop star andSimple Life alum Kesha.

So, Paris and I are both from Los Angeles,

and so we know you're doing a tour of L.A.,

but we thought that you would maybe want a special tour

from two natives who really know,

like, the best places in L.A.

Like, do you really need to see the Hollywood sign?

[***]

My mom signed my family up for The Simple Life.

I was like, "What are we--?

What are we doing this for?"

And she wanted to find a man.

[DANNY CHUCKLES] And we found my mom a man.

Do you like to dance? I gotta--

Save a horse, ride a cowboy, right?

NICOLE: Yeah. KESHA: Yes!

So if this was your mom...

I'm gonna vomit.

And it turns out, after you left,

he was gay. Well, been there.

There is the Cedars-Sinai Hospital,

where both of my babies were born.

To help work the excited crowd,

Paris and Nicole call out key points of cultural interest.

NICOLE: This was the Standard club.

And one time, I was running

from the restaurant to the club in heels

and I tripped and fell on my face.

This building right here on the right corner...

is where Paris and I used to get extensions.

[PEOPLE LAUGHING]

This is the gas station where we would get gas sometimes.

[MOUTHS] Wow.

We got attention from people on the street,

and I kind of felt like I was famous. So that was cool.

So the pink store up here on the right is Trashy Lingerie,

where we used to get our Halloween costumes.

If you wanna feel sexy, go in there.

Oh, Canter's is where we used to go, late-night food.

[WOMAN EXCLAIMS]

Love you.

DANNY: Beep-beep, bitch!

Beep-beep, bitch!

Duck! Whoa.

How did we not say the megaphone story?

Yes. My dad's studio balcony,

you could see Paris's house.

Sometime, our parents were like, "You can't hang out anymore,"

and we were separated.

We bought megaphones, and we would go outside,

and we would scream at each other...

Hi, bitch. I love your purse.

...just through the hills of Bel Air.

Love your sunglasses.

PARIS: We used to sanasa through those mountains.

Yeah, we did. The whole neighborhood

knows the song. Yes.

PARIS: Up here, on the left,

we have my Infinite Icon billboard from my new album.

[PEOPLE CHEER] PARIS: Thank you.

The new music is amazing. It's iconic.

So now that this tour is coming to a close--

[ALL GROAN]

The good news is

you're able to see more of us...

but on stage.

We are putting on an opera.

[***]

You can expect an opera like you've never seen before.

With five confirmed yeses

and 15 "I'll think about it, let me check my schedules,"

Paris and Nicole are confident

they've sparked some real L.A. buzz.

Bye, everyone. WOMAN: Love you!

[***]

Just two days from their performance,

Paris and Nicole haven't actually spoken to their cast

about tiny details like what they'll be doing

or what the opera is about.

NICOLE: Hello, everyone.

Hi, guys.

LOLA: * Hello *

NICOLE: Lola is trying to show off already

and trying to secure her spot as a lead,

and you know what? It's working. It is working.

* Hello * [BOTH LAUGHING]

Ladies, gentlemen and Lolita,

we wanna welcome you to our first cast meeting.

You guys were absolutely the best of the best,

and we couldn't not do this without you.

Especially because you're available.

[ALL CHUCKLING]

Nicole, a typical opera singer receives the music beforehand

and arrives fully prepared and memorized.

This is a one-word opera,

and this is about feeling you're talented.

You have to believe in yourself more.

That's what I'm picking up on.

Okay. Okay, yeah. It's just...

Will you tell us what the word is,

or is it a surprise on the day?

The word... is "sanasa."

Is what? [OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

BROOKE: How do you spell it?

BOTH: S-A-N-A-S-A...

A-A? A-A-A.

BAUDELAIRE: Right here.

PARIS: Aw, we love you.

So we need to make sure

everyone gets their beauty rest.

You need to make sure

your voices are hydrated.

And a spray tan is your friend.

[***]

If you guys have access to red-light therapy,

do that as well.

I can come over for a home wax, if you would like.

Or colonics.

I even do some toe-hair tweezing.

So... make sure that you're looking gorg.

We love you all. We'll see you soon.

NICOLE: See you at tech rehearsals!

BOTH: * Sanasa, sanasa *

[SINGS NOTE]

[PARIS & NICOLE LAUGHING]

NICOLE: Well... bye, guys!

I was just thinking, "What are these people thinking?"

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[***]

[***]

ALAN: It's load-in day.

Everyone can get their spray tans!

And Paris and Nicole are relieved

when most of their cast actually shows up.

It's always been my dream to be anally fisted by Nicole Richie.

It was meant to be. [CHUCKLES]

Our casting was amazing. So epic.

Like, where can you find a cast like this?

We're in this together. And it's gonna be great.

You got it! Whoo! Now it's time

for Paris and Nicole to meet

none other than, heh, Paris and Nicole.

Hello! Hi, guys!

Hi.

NICOLE: We found

the cutest, sweetest

and most talented little girls,

Britain and Asher, to play mini us.

They are so adorable.

How old are you? Seven.

You're 7. Wow.

She literally looks just like you from The Simple Life.

Oh-- Lucky me! Oh, my gosh.

* Sanasa, sanasa *

You're so much like me in so many ways.

NICOLE: Yeah. [LAUGHS]

Hearts pounding, our producers buckle up

for their tech rehearsal...

NICOLE: We're here! ...the first chance

to see their creative vision on stage.

NICOLE: Yeah.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

NICOLE:

NICOLE:

Short a composer, the ladies were informed

by their legal team that very old opera scores

are public domain, which is lawyer-talk for "free."

Their plan is to use different classical scores

to bring different emotions.

But it's quickly apparent

there's a much bigger challenge than the music.

["RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES" PLAYING]

PARIS: This is literally the worst thing I've ever seen in my life.

Is this it, or is there more?

What did that say at the end?

"Sanasa." You can't even read it, though.

No, that whole graphic is-- Is incorrect.

It's horrible. Ugh.

This is it? Are they serious?

This just looks crazy. I just had the sickest concerts

in L.A. and New York, which were like [BLEEP] insane,

that looked like a real concert, and then I'm gonna do this?

It just-- It's embarrassing. Like, this just looks...

like we're about to do, like, a school play.

Like, I don't know what to say.

[***]

Less than 24 hours before the audience will arrive,

Paris and Nicole are reeling from a brutal tech rehearsal.

PARIS [CHUCKLES]: This is not what I was expecting.

I have people flying in

from all over the world to come see this show.

This is... humiliating.

They say the pain of creating Mozart's final opera

actually killed him.

But at least it didn't embarrass him

in front of friends.

NICOLE: I'm just wondering what... we can do.

PARIS: I don't [BLEEP] know, but this is not it.

Our names are up there. The last thing I wanna do

is waste anyone's time.

You know, we-- We really wanted it to be perfect.

Well, it's not ready.

There's no way that's ready.

But it looks crazy. Like--

I want the audience to walk in...

and it feels like, "Oh, my God. This is like a grand opera."

Like, "Oh, okay, so this is a story about friends."

Yeah, the full experience. So let's utilize what we have.

Because what we do have is amazing.

Like, the casting and all of that,

like, that's the hardest part, so...

We actually do have-- We have the most amazing crew.

We have talented people that are there on stage,

and, like, let's really be realistic with, like,

what can we change that will make it feel more elevated,

like an experience and like us.

PARIS: Both Nicole and I have so many things happening in our lives.

Nicole is shooting movies during this.

I was releasing my new album, getting ready for concerts.

NICOLE: We weren't a part of every step,

which I am definitely used to doing in my own work.

There does come a moment where you have to say,

"Okay, this is not working. Like, how do we fix this?"

This is Act One. Can we see two and three?

Oh, you wanna see two as well? If we can, yeah.

Just so I can get, like, a feel,

and then we can figure out where we go.

Totally. Okay, great.

PARIS: Okay, looking cute.

I like the dollhouse.

NICOLE: Cute. GIRLS: Sanasa!

They're so cute, these little girls.

So cute.

We should have that table in the middle.

They just blend in with the orchestra.

I have-- I have a few notes.

You guys were amazing, by the way.

I think instead of them skipping forward,

'cause they run out of space,

they should just skip in place here,

the visuals will turn,

it'll make it seem like they're moving.

From Bel Air to Johnny Rockets like that.

It was very fun to get in there and get our hands dirty.

And, you know, I think

that sometimes under pressure is when you do best.

Oh, my God. We're so smart.

[CHUCKLES] Like, there has to be a way.

Like, when I have projects or anything,

I've come up with the vision with my team

and then it comes to life,

but I'm not sitting there like-- NICOLE: Hammering.

With a hammer, like, putting it all together.

I feel like we already have so many sick visuals

they could put up rather than just, like, a photo.

Even if I go back to the visuals we had made for all my concerts,

some of those were just so beautiful,

like the iconic, like, palm trees.

Balloons dropping from the ceiling would be an eas--

Yeah, that's cute.

Like different places for people to take selfies

with the cutouts. PARIS: Yeah.

That's a good idea.

Will you write down? I'll forget.

Well, if anyone can do it, it's you.

Being a mom...

being an icon, just--

It's exhausting. [ALL CHUCKLE]

[***]

[PERFORMERS SINGING SCALES]

NICOLE: Doing an opera as a whole is silly and funny.

Obviously we are not in the world of-- Of opera.

But we really wanted to create an experience

and make it amazing.

And the visuals are right,

and silly and funny and all the things,

but we also wanted it to be excellent.

No, they look legit. [CHUCKLES]

NICOLE: They need to work out their spacing,

but other than that, it looks good.

It's, like-- It-- It's gonna look good.

* Sanasa *

MAN: Sa-sanasa.

What do you think of the lyrics in our song?

[ALL LAUGH]

I like it better than the... original.

Yeah, it's better. [ALL LAUGH]

BIRD: Hi. Hi. Hi, Lola.

WOMAN: Ta-da!

Ooh! Yes.

Animals are such a huge part of our life

that we wanted to make sure that they were in the opera.

NICOLE: We couldn't actually have

ferrets, chinchillas, mice in the opera,

and so we went with puppets.

I love that this one has lashes.

This obviously looks much better.

Yes.

This is just so important

to both of us,

and we feel so passionate about it.

It was... An adventure.

It was definitely an adventure. It was a process, yes.

Yeah.

[***]

I'm feeling better. Me too! I'm feeling better.

By golly, this is starting to come together.

I never doubted it for a second, of course.

[***]

NICOLE: Oh, my God. PARIS: What is that?

Water. Is that, like, sewage?

What's happening? Is it broken?

There's a hole in the middle of the street.

We literally have an opera here tomorrow.

We were supposed to do, like, the red carpet here.

We can't have a red carpet here now.

How long until we can put a red carpet over this?

This was not here earlier.

This looks pretty hardcore.

Wow. Oh, my gosh.

[***]

[***]

Oh, my God. What is that?

Water. Is that, like, sewage?

What's happening?

We're supposed to do a-- A large red carpet

and a step and repeat right here.

PARIS: What is this with the water shooting out?

What kind of water is coming out?

Not toilet water? Okay.

NICOLE: Do you know, like, how long it would take until that's ready?

We're putting on an opera tomorrow.

It's an opera we wrote. It's called The Sanas-Opera.

Yeah.

Tomorrow it'll be back open.

It will be? Covered?

You think people can walk on it

with gowns and take photos... Oh, yeah. For sure.

...and like the whole thing? Yeah, yeah, they will.

If you guys are done with work and wanna come to the opera...

Okay. Great.

Also, if you or any of the guys need a spray tan,

we have them inside.

Everyone looks better with a little glow.

Hi, Paul. Nicole. Thank you, Paul.

Nice to meet you.

Yes, of course.

Smile!

[***]

We'll see you tomorrow. All right. Bye.

[***]

Yesterday's disastrous tech rehearsal and flood

rocked their confidence...

MAN: Good? Yeah.

...but today, the streets are dry

and the fans are eager.

PRODUCER: What are you looking forward to most tonight?

MAN: Um, seeing Paris and Nicole together,

um, after such a long time.

This is living.

Paris and Nicole! Duh! Paris and Nicole! Sanasa!

[CHOIR SINGING SCALES]

Hi, everybody! Hi, guys!

[CAST MEMBERS CHEER, APPLAUD]

PARIS: Show day!

There's people lined up around the block.

Everyone is so excited.

NICOLE: Yeah. This is gonna be very fun!

PARIS: We're sorry things have been a little disorganized.

This is our first time doing this.

It's our very first opera, if you can believe it.

So just so proud to have you all a part of it.

NICOLE: Yeah. We couldn't do it without you.

[***]

Instruments are tuned one last time

as VIP mascots wait to take the stage.

Muscled torsos are spray tanned to perfection.

Is there anything that you're worried about tonight?

You know, live theater, anything could happen.

And the show must go on.

I gave them a voice lesson.

Oh, and how did it go?

[SINGS OFF-KEY NOTE]

Pretty well, I think.

This is a long-term friendship. Look at that.

You look so amazing.

So I have a present for you.

Me and my dog.

The outfit and the phone? Thank you so much.

Yes. You're welcome. I love it.

[***]

Flowers! Thank you!

Excited for the show?

Yeah, we're so excited.

We walked by all these fans

on the street. Oh!

DANNY: Kathy Hilton!

I'll be your little guide. Oh, great.

All right, make way for Kathy!

We got precious cargo here.

How stunning is Kathy?

KATHY: Hi, Phoenix!

Oh, my goodness. Let me see you.

KATHY: Are you nervous? Mm-hm.

This was what they would do when they were little.

Not to this extent, but always,

"We wanna put on a show in the living room.

We're selling tickets in five minutes."

[PARIS CHUCKLES] Do you remember?

Yes.

Now we have our own stage.

Love you. I love you.

So proud of you! Thank you.

Wait. "Don't break a leg?" Is that what you say?

You're supposed to say "break a leg," but I don't get what--

I don't want you to break a leg. Hopefully not.

I'm gonna get lifted a thousand feet in the air right now.

[***]

Time to see what three weeks of grueling opera prep gets you,

as our stars make their grand entrance.

PHOTOGRAPHER:

Amazing.

Thank you.

Excited for our show?

NICOLE: There we are. Look at us.

I think the significance of this opera

is for everyone out there that chooses to find joy

in the journey of life in, like, every step along the way.

PARIS: Everyone is all dressed up like us.

They are so excited. It just--

It's really special to do this for everyone.

Your mom came into my dressing room and cried.

And she cried seeing the little-girl versions of us.

So cute. Everyone's just--

It's so full of love.

You're gonna feel just the most incredible energy,

because we have the best fans in the world.

TECH: Two minutes, Paris.

Oh, shoot. Two minutes.

[BRITAIN GIGGLES] All right. Good luck.

[REPORTERS CLAMORING]

NICOLE: Here we go, guys! Are you ready?

PARIS: Showtime!

NICOLE: Seeing it all come together

and seeing everybody in their wigs and their costumes,

it was very exciting.

Hello! [AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING]

Hello, hello, hello.

Are you guys in for a treat tonight.

I was so excited. I love our gowns.

Yes.

This is like a real opera. Yeah.

I love you. Love you.

This is fun. Yeah. Yeah. Celebrating...

20 years, Bill.

Love you very much.

Aw. I love you.

DANNY: Paris and Nicole have been working so hard on this opera,

so we really wanna give them love and support and energy

and, uh, you know, just have a good time,

because they're having a good time, and--

And I hope you all enjoy this. It's-- It's gonna be fun.

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

TECH: Okay. Are you guys ready?

Um, yeah.

TECH: Okay, here we go. All the way to the top.

Three, two, one, go.

Whoa. [GROANS SOFTLY]

Oh, my God.

[***]

NICOLE: Oh, my God.

Did they test this on other people?

Oh, my God. This is nuts. This part, I hate.

It's the dangling.

Okay, three, two, one, down.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. [GROANS]

Look down. I'm not looking down.

[GROANS]

Okay, here we come. We're coming down.

NICOLE: Hello? [PARIS GROANS]

Is it broken?

PARIS: Oh, my God.

[***]

PARIS:Is it broken?

[BLEEP]

TECH: Okay. Here we go.

[PARIS GROANS]

TECH: Three, two, one, go.

Oh, my God.

[AUDIENCE CHEERS] CHOIR: * Sanasa *

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING "ALSO SPACH ZARATHUSTRA"]

Here we go.

[ALL CHEERING LOUDLY]

Oh, my God!

[AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING]

Cute. Thank you.

Yes. Guys, we killed.

Yeah. Yes.

ALAN: Act One: Childhood.

Here we witness a lifelong bond,

forged by a love of animals,

an obsession with fast food

and an insatiable need to break the rules.

Sanasa. Sanasa?

Sanasa.

BOTH [EXCITEDLY]: Sanasa!

[AUDIENCE CHEERING] [ORCHESTRA PLAYING OPERA MUSIC]

[CHOIR SINGING]

Yeah!

[EXCLAIMS]

[BOTH GIGGLING]

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

[AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING]

So sweet.

Act Two: The Simple Life.

First, a celebration

of the iconic reality-show moments

their fans, and at least one infamous cow,

will never forget.

[COW MOOS] [AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

[THUNDER RUMBLING OVER SPEAKERS]

[LAUGHING]

But with fame comes friction.

As a gaggle of Wagner-fueled paparazzi

descend to rip our heroes apart.

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING "RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES"]

Few friendships can survive superstardom,

and the evil villains succeed.

A friendship is broken.

* Sanasa! *

PARIS: Next outfit. [NICOLE CHUCKLES]

Next outfit!

Act Three: Reunited.

Success means little

without your best friend to share it with.

CHOIR: * Sanasa *

* Sanasa *

[CHOIR CONTINUES SINGING & ORCHESTRA PLAYING]

[AUDIENCE CHEERS]

[AUDIENCE CHEERS]

[AUDIENCE CHEERING LOUDLY]

I love you, Bill. Love you.

Just as our story takes a positive turn,

backstage, a tragedy worthy of Puccini unfolds.

My door got locked.

All of my changes are in there. All my stuff.

MAN:

They are-- Will be out in a second,

so, uh, we thank you all for your patience and...

Let me check in my earpiece.

While they try to break open the locked dressing room door,

Danny's ordered to keep a restless crowd entertained.

Okay. For how long?

Not even the opera gods themselves can predict.

So, this is crazy. This is not meant

to happen to a princess. No.

Just one second.

[***]

[PLAYING TUNE]

[***]

PARIS: All of our stuff is locked in the room.

Oh, my God.

CARTER: The drill just broke.

The drill broke? No!

I can't believe this.

[***]

[***]

[DRILL WHIRRING]

PARIS: Everyone's doing everything they can

to try and break this door down.

[DOOR OPENS] Yes, Sean!

ALL [CHANTING]: Sean! Sean! Sean! Sean!

MAN: Yeah! Sean the Door-Slayer!

[CHUCKLES] After liberating her wardrobe,

Paris is ready to join Nicole

for the final act in their mini opus.

Behold Act Four: Friends Forever.

[AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING]

[CHOIR SINGING & ORCHESTRA PLAYING]

Here we see two imposing business titans

at the top of their game.

* Sanasa, sanasa... *

ALL: * Sanasa... *

[THUNDER RUMBLES OVER SPEAKERS]

Suddenly, our paparazzi villains attack again!

Ever relentless.

Can they ever be stopped?

What's happening? [LAUGHS]

I'm so scared! Help!

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING "CARMINA BURANA SUITE"]

From the wings emerges a loyal superfan

who smites our villains with the power of a fan's love.

Our savior! Aah!

Yes!

[AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING]

The villains vanquished, there is but one word

that sums up this victory.

Sanasa! Sanasa, indeed!

Hey, everybody! Thank you all so much for coming.

This is so special for Nicole and I,

celebrating a lifetime friendship

and 20 years of something

that has brought so much happiness to so many people.

And...

[AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING]

[***]

Especially in the past few months,

I've just been watching all of your videos online

and just hearing all your stories and all the love,

and it's just been so touching

and has made us both very emotional.

And just seeing everyone in the room

and feeling the love, it's just really magical.

We hope that you walk away from this beautiful opera

feeling joy and inspiration,

and we want you to feel good and horny and we want...

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING, CHEERING]

We want twinkles in your eyes and sweat in your inner thighs.

PARIS: Sanasa is more than just a song, it's more than just a word.

If everyone in the world just sanasa'd,

the world would be a better place.

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

Would you guys join us in a celebratory "Sanasa?"

[ALL EXCLAIM]

And a-five, six, seven, eight:

BOTH: * Sanasa, sanasa *

* Sanasa-sa, sanasa *

* Sanasa, sanasa Sanasa-sa, sanasa *

[ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

PARIS: Yes!

[PARIS EXCLAIMS]

PARIS: It's been so amazing

to be able to have so much time together.

NICOLE: It was worth every second.

I would do it ten more times.

There's no one like you.

You're one of a kind and... I love you.

So are you, bitch. Thanks, bitch.

[GIGGLES] [AUDIENCE CHEERING]

[***]