Original subtitles

MAN: Do you know I have an arrest warrant?

NICOLE: Are you ready to rock and roll?

ALAN CUMMING: Twenty years after The Simple Life

changed television forever--

What should I do? Call someone? [LAUGHS]

No, no. I-- I-- I have it framed. I love it.

NICOLE: Is that at the mechanic place?

ALAN CUMMING: Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie

embark on the most daunting creative challenge

of their lives.

What we really wanted to do for the big reunion

is an opera.

Excuse me?

What?

[BOTH LAUGH]

ALAN CUMMING: For inspiration, they've reconnected

with the small town that made them famous.

The bartenders are here!

Good Lord! Hi!

PARIS: Yeah.

ALAN CUMMING: And dug up old memories.

What is this?

[LAUGHS] KATHY: That was your little brother.

You have some intimate gel. [ALL LAUGH]

ALAN CUMMING: But now it's time to do the real work...

[TUBA SOUNDS]

...as they give the world

the operatic masterpiece... [BOTH LAUGH]

...it didn't know it needed.

I can't wait to see it.

Thank you so much.

That sounds terrible.

ALAN CUMMING: Screw the haters.

[***]

[WOMAN SINGING OPERATICALLY]

ALAN CUMMING: Just as Puccini wroteLa bohème in a beautiful Tuscan villa,

Paris and Nicole find inspiration

in a creative space of their own.

[CAT MEOWS]

Okay, so maybe we should make a list of things that we need.

I brought... some notebooks.

Okay, great.

Do you have a pen?

[LAUGHS] No. [CHUCKLES]

Makeup.

Do-- Do you guys have a pen?

[PURRS]

Oh. Great.

Okay. It's the story of us. It's the story of friendship.

I always loved your handwriting.

NICOLE: Act one... [MEOWS]

is us as adolescent, which is, like,

you know, Simple Life. Yeah.

So pretty.

We just keep coming back to each other,

no matter what.

"Nothing can break true joy."

We need a composer.

Yes.

We need costumes.

Choir.

People to play us when we're little.

NICOLE: Conductor.

Actors that can play animals. Yeah. Play ferrets.

Orchestra. Oh, my God. Yeah.

What have we been doing this whole time?

[CHUCKLING] I don't know.

This feels very negative,

and I'd like to make a list of things we do have.

Okay. We have... us. Uh-- Sill and Bill. [CHUCKLES]

Sill and Bill.

Um...

[***]

Um...

[MEOWS]

And then...

Okay, so we got one thing done.

Yeah.

ALAN CUMMING: With absolutely nothing checked off their to-do list,

Paris and Nicole's first task,

of frankly too many,

is to find an opera producer

willing to take on the impossible.

I missed you, Bill.

I missed you, Sill.

Yes. [LAUGHS]

ALAN CUMMING: Having grown up with the best of everything,

of course you'd want the best opera producer

desperation can buy.

My name is Beth Morrison, and I am the foremost producer

of contemporary opera in America.

Can you guys articulate the vision?

And then I'll be able to, like, help, like, with,

like, "These are the steps that you would normally take."

It's the story of us, and it's the story of

different archetypes that have tried to pull us apart

and how we always end up back together.

It's like a montage of your life, basically?

Yeah.

BETH: When you think about, like

Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton,

you don't, um, automatically go to opera.

You don't?

[BREATHES DEEPLY] Well, ye-- I mean, it-- Um...

Typically, like, when, um, you know, you start a project,

oftentimes it starts with the words and the text,

and then the music and-- We have that.

Mm-hm. You have the words to the-- To the song?

We are songwriters,

and we accidentally wrote a hit song when we were 7.

And we started singing it

on this show that we did 20 years ago,

and a lot of people caught onto it and--

BETH: Is it: * Sanasa, sanasa *

[LAUGHING]

NICOLE: Yes! I'm happy you know.

[IN UNISON] * Sanasa, sanasa *

* Sanasa-sa, sanasa *

[HIGH-PITCHED, SCREECHY] * Sanasa *

Well, yeah-- I mean it-- I--

Like, starting with your-- Your--

I know!

Okay. So, you guys are the singers.

Starring.

You're starring. We're starring. Yeah.

And, do you ha-- Do you--

Like, are there other principals?

Yes. We definitely wanna incorporate all of our animals,

some ferrets, rats, chinchillas, spiders, tarantulas.

[CHUCKLES]

Um, and our dogs. Yes.

NICOLE: And our cows.

We basically need help putting all this together.

Do you guys have a sense of the scale that you're interested in?

Full orchestra, full choir, full everything.

And what's your timeline on it?

Three weeks.

Oh.

[LAUGHS]

Okay. Um...

You've got a mountain to climb, I think, is the first thing.

We've got our mountain-climbing shoes on.

Time-- [LAUGHING] Yeah.

Now that you've heard everything...

BETH: Yeah.

...like, how much do you think

our opera would cost to make?

BETH: You'd probably be looking at

something like a million and a half.

Okay. Yeah.

It's like a wedding.

[CHUCKLES] Yeah.

Okay. Cool.

So, you're in? [BETH INHALES]

She did not agree to produce it.

ALAN CUMMING: Ouch. But no matter.

Who needs the foremost producer of contemporary opera anyway?

They can just do it themselves.

After all, how hard could it be?

PARIS: Is the song "Bittersweet Symphony--" Is that--?

NICOLE: An opera? No.

Is Moulin Rouge an opera?

The movie? Or no?

[CHUCKLES] I think so.

I love how we both know nothing about operas.

[NICOLE LAUGHS]

ALAN CUMMING: Since even one-word operas still require actual music,

Paris and Nicole hope to wrangle a top-notch composer

who won't chicken out from a creative challenge.

Hello! Welcome. Hi!

How are you? Good. Hello!

Welcome to our home. [CHUCKLES]

BOTH: Thank you. Make yourselves at home

NICOLE: It's so cool here. Yeah. Would you like some tea?

Or some--? Tea? Okay. Um...

Love some tea. Yes, yes, yes.

We'd love some tea.

ALAN CUMMING: And what a composer they've found.

Thomas Adès,

the Grammy Award-winning genius composer and conductor.

How exciting.

Should I say right off that I'm a fan from a long way back?

I'm an admirer.

I hope you'll sign my copies of your books.

[THOMAS CHUCKLES] Yes. Absolutely. Yes.

I'm actually a long-time real-life fan and admirer

of both, uh, Nicole and of Paris.

And so I was excited to meet them

and find out what their ideas were for the opera.

So, what's your idea of maybe

a picture of what opera is? Like, as an artform.

The people are standing, like--

* Ah, ah * [LAUGHS]

And... Yeah. * Ooh! * Yeah.

That's why we wanted to ask you;

we've never done this before. Yeah.

We've never done it. Yeah.

And you're really good at it, so...

[LAUGHS] Thank you.

[CHUCKLING] We needed your advice

because we have no idea what we're doing.

Advice is gre-- Um-- Um, do you have composers... attached?

Like, the person with the sticks that does that?

That-- Well, that would be the conductor. Yeah.

NICOLE: The conductor. PARIS: Oh.

What-- It-- What-- I mean [INDISTINCT]--

[BOTH LAUGH]

So, you had this idea of an-- Of an opera?

I mean, just tell me everything, uh...

Maybe we, like, sing you a snippet?

Yes. And will there be dance, do you think?

I definitely imagine there being dance numbers.

Yeah. Yeah. I can picture that. Yes.

Performed by me.

[LAUGHING] Yes, performed by you.

BOTH: * Sanasa, sanasa *

* Sanasa-sa, sanasa * Ah.

* Sanasa, sanasa * [PLAYING A SIMPLE MELODY]

* Sanasa-sa, sanasa * [CHUCKLES]

[HIGH-PITCHED, SCREECHY] * Sanasa! *

NICOLE: See? [PARIS LAUGHS]

We wrote that ourselves.

It might be a good idea to get a l--

A bit of professional teaching,

just to do with vocal production and a bit of a--

Find out, also, about your range,

'cause we just discovered--

That startled me when you suddenly sang--

[LAUGHS]

NICOLE: We can work on this... Yes.

...when we meet next time

so that you can compose the music.

Uh... I'm not sure-- I'm not the right person,

'cause-- It's a little beyond what the composer normally--

I mean, normally a composer just writes the music...

ALAN CUMMING: If you've ever wondered what it looks like

when a composer wants to politely decline an offer,

but the clients won't take a hint...

well, here are your front row seats.

...uh, the composer tends to invent a whole world, you know,

so that takes between one and five years.

What? The whole thing.

So, yeah. Um...

We have, like, three weeks.

Oh!

We've written all the words, so...

Uh... [LAUGHS] Like, the hard part's done.

[GROANS, LAUGHS]

[BOTH LAUGH]

The whole thing is ambitious, to say the least.

The biggest obstacle is the time it's going to take

and what it's going to actually be.

I think you need more than one person.

So, you need a team to take your music

into the orchestra.

"Into the pit," as we say, yeah. Yes. Yes. That's what--

It's exactly what we're looking for.

Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.

With us collaborating together,

we can make it whatever we want.

Don't you think? You're a star.

[LAUGHING]

[PARIS & NICOLE LAUGH]

Paris and-- And Nicole are p--

Pretty much impossible to say no to.

It's like having a whirlwind comes toward you.

You simply have to kind of... give in.

[LAUGHS]

Is there anyone else who can--?

[ALL LAUGH]

PARIS: I felt like it wasn't a no.

It was like... he meant yes.

Like, he said no, but it felt like...

it could be a yes. Yeah. Like a maybe.

[INDISTINCT] Bye, girls. Bye! Thank you!

PARIS: Bye, guys. See you soon.

THOMAS:

[WOMAN SINGING OPERATICALLY]

[WOMAN SINGING OPERATICALLY]

ALAN CUMMING: As any patron of the arts knows,

the lifeblood of any opera is the vocal range.

But Paris and Nicole's golden pipes have gathered some dust--

Nicole. So nice to meet you. Hi, Paris. Nice to meet you.

ALAN CUMMING: --and perhaps a little fine-tuning is in order.

Before we start, uh, why don't we do a breathing exercise?

I love your outfit.

Oh, thank you so much. It's so cute.

[BREATHES IN]

[BREATHES OUT] Ooh!

Take a good breath like that.

We're gonna say the alphabet... [PANTING]

...as many times as we can without taking a breath.

And whenever you're ready.

[BOTH RECITING ALPHABET ONCE]

ANNA: Okay. That'll be fine.

Some people can't get through one.

This is a muscle that you guys

are not used to using yet, okay?

And this is what I've been doing since I was 10.

That was a lot.

[COUGHS, CLEARS THROAT]

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

[RAPIDLY RECITING ALPHABET MULTIPLE TIMES]

[***]

Oh, my God!

[ANNA CONTINUES RAPIDLY RECITING ALPHABET MULTIPLE TIMES]

What?

Oh. Well... I never knew that.

...then that's what we'll be doing. What?

[ANNA CONTINUES RAPIDLY RECITING ALPHABET MULTIPLE TIMES]

[TAKES A DEEP BREATH]

That's hot. Okay.

ANNA [BREATHES AUDIBLY]: All right.

All right. Which of you would like to start?

Do you want me to start? Okay, yes.

When you breathe operatically, it's kinda like a yawn.

You're gonna feel it sort of resonating back here.

Oh! Like a ponytail.

[MIMICKING OPERA SINGING] Yeah, hello!

[MIMICKING OPERA SINGING] Oh, hello!

Yes, exactly right! Yes! Okay!

Let's do it. [PLAYING PIANO]

[SINGING NOTES]

Ooh, I did it. ANNA: Nice! Yes.

[SINGING NOTES]

[SINGING NOTES]

* Honolulu *

* Oahu *

This is feeling Hawaiian,

and I like it. Ooh! [WITH ACCENT] * Sing *

* Imagine like you're Like, a w-- *

* A wealthy lady Like Julia Child! * Ooh!

[IMITATING JULIA CHILD] Oh! Oh, Julia Child! Then let's make some food!

ANNA: Julia Child! Exactly right!

[ANNA SINGS NOTES]

[NICOLE SINGS NOTES]

ANNA: Beautiful! Easier, right?

Oh! [SINGS NOTES]

ANNA: Very nice!

[NICOLE SINGS NOTES]

Nice!

All right. This is your song.

What's your starting note?

BOTH: * Sa *

[BOTH LAUGH]

We know the words. We're just trying to figure out... the me--

*Sanasa *

Can we just sing on an "ah" really quick?

* Sanasa * [SINGING NOTES]

[CHUCKLES] [ANNA SINGS NOTES]

PARIS: * Ah, sana *

[CHUCKLES]

Yes.

* Sanasa *

BOTH: * Sanasa *

Uh, what happens here?

BOTH: * Sanasa-sa, sanasa *

ANNA: Okay.

See? We take some unexpected turns.

Okay, great. How does the next part go?

[HIGH-PITCHED, SCREECHY] * Sanasa! *

I'm a natural c-sharper.

ANNA: It's a little distonal.

You're ending with a high note that feels very out of tune.

Oh.

Oh.

[HIGH-PITCHED, IN PERFECT TUNE] * Sanasa! *

Well, we've got 99 percent of it.

[BOTH LAUGHING] ALAN CUMMING: Well, I think

it's safe to say belting out the high notes

may not be in the cards for these two.

[WOMAN SINGING OPERATICALLY]

But never the type to throw in the towel,

the ladies are going to test their musical acumen elsewhere.

And as the old saying goes... NICOLE: Mm.

..."A carpenter is only as good as his tools."

And an opera is only as majestic as its orchestra.

Where is this place?

It's that music store that was in Wayne's World.

Really? Yes.

But is it them or Beavis and Butthead,

the thing that we do with the headbanging?

I swear, I think we did it first

and Beavis and Butthead copied us.

[LAUGHS] We were doing it at 11.

[BOTH LAUGH]

PARIS: Oh, my God. Dead.

[DISCORDANT HORN NOISES]

What am I doing wrong?

[SHORT, DISCORDANT TOOTS]

Like that? Uh, no. A little--

No, it's gotta vibrate a little more.

[DISCORDANT TOOTS]

ED: Just-- Make it long.

NICOLE: Okay. [ED BREATHES A LONG RASPBERRY]

[PARIS CHUCKLES] [DISCORDANT GROAN]

[PARIS LAUGHS] Almost. Little more.

Should I press one of these to help me?

Not yet. No. Oh, okay.

Uh... It's not the right--

Not the right formation.

That's how people-- [PLAYS A NOTE]

There-- That's it. Oh! I got it.

Oh. Okay. I was like, "What?"

It's so weird. I'm so good at blowing.

[GIGGLES] You're getting there.

[DISCORDANT GROAN]

We are musical savants.

[PLAYING NOTES QUICKLY, OFF-KEY]

Heh, fantastic.

Was I good?

NICOLE: Very.

I don't know.

I thought we were. I feel like I--

Were you not? No.

I was.

[PLAYS ONE NOTE]

I just thought that we were good at everything we did,

but maybe I'm wrong.

* Sanasa-sa, sanasa *

Yes.

We were. Yeah.

[PLAYING NOTES ON TUBA]

NICOLE: See? She's so good.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Okay.

[GUITAR FEEDBACK] Oh!

Okay.

PARIS: Do you wanna learn our song with us?

I'd be happy to-- Yeah.

Okay. So, if you do the vocals,

we'll do the guitar, okay?

All right. What are the words?

Sanasa, sanasa.

Sanasa-sa, sanasa.

Okay. Let's try it.

NICOLE: Okay. Ready?

Seven, eight.

* Sanasa, sanasa *

* Sanasa-sa, sanasa *

* Sanasa, sanasa *

* Sanasa-sa, sanasa *

* Sanasa, sanasa Sanasa *

[LAUGHS] Yes.

Bill, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

I am.

I'm afraid to ask what you're thinking.

Do you wanna be in our opera?

[***]

ALAN CUMMING: He looks excited.

[WOMAN SINGING OPERATICALLY]

[MAN SINGING OPERATICALLY]

ALAN CUMMING: Nil for four in the checking things off department,

Paris and Nicole are resorting to a last-ditch effort

to convince Grammy Award-winning

conductor and composer Thomas Adès

to reconsider taking on their opera.

Loves it. Hi, Sill.

What are you wearing under that?

A body stocking.

[MUTTERS] But I might take it off.

Depending on how much we have to convince Thomas.

ALAN CUMMING: How, might you ask, do they plan to pull off this feat?

[LAUGHS]

Well, by taking him to a fancy opera,

brimming with culture and elegance,

proving that they are indeed serious people.

Ooh!

Oh. Obsessed.

It can make you smaller or bigger. Right.

It is a vibe.

What time is, um...

Is it? "It."

Yeah.

So... Seven thirty-seven.

Into it.

[MUSICIANS WARMING UP]

It's starting.

[OPERA SINGERS WARMING UP]

* Twenty minutes goin' to Your other side *

* For me to land, it's gotta be A record time, babe *

[OPERA SINGERS SINGING NOTES]

*You naughty wood sprites *

ALAN CUMMING: Oh, dear. I think they've misinterpreted the dress code.

Hi, guys.

Hi, girls.

Hello.

Sorry we're late.

Beautiful. Oh.

We brought these for you.

Oh, thank you. Oh, my God, you are so--

Oh, my gosh. This is a boutonniere.

And it's got a little wiener.

THOMAS: Absolutely perfect. God.

THOMAS: You know, I was thinking, it's the--

This is "The Little Mermaid," the story.

Right. But in this version,

she kills him at the end.

Oh. That's quite perfect for us.

I love a good murder.

Yes, I know. Oh, you're in for a treat.

[MUSICIANS PLAYING]

[GIGGLING]

[CHUCKLES]

* Here he comes Now, don't be [INDISTINCT] *

[SINGING NOTES]

[SINGING NOTES]

WOMAN: * My prison *

[SINGING NOTES]

[SINGING NOTES]

And curtain. Curtain falls.

Beautiful. That was beautiful!

Yeah, it was beautiful. Beautiful!

Thank you. Thank you.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]

NICOLE: Okay. Well, that was a lovely opera.

Thank you so much. [LAUGHING] Oh.

Oh, yes, you're welcome.

Thank you for coming.

[ALL LAUGH]

It was beautiful.

Are you getting some ideas?

NICOLE: I am. Oh, really?

THOMAS: What I'm doing is,

I'm going to put everything together for you.

We've got the best people,

everybody, and me, I'm like... Yeah.

...Obi-Wan Kenobi in the background.

When you say "putting it together..."

He knows everybody, so...

Yes.

...as in you're composing?

I'm not actually composing. It's not-- 'Cause it's not

a piece by-- If it's-- If I compose it, it's a piece by me.

But it's-- This will be a piece by you.

[PARIS & NICOLE SING NOTES]

That's my upset voice. [LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING] You better go and have another word with him then.

Okay, so... we're not his type.

Oh, my God.

[***]

NICOLE: We'll compose it.

We are talented and we wrote this song,

so we have to just, like, dive in,

and, like, full-blown, like, pop-star believe in ourselves.

BOTH [HIGH-PITCHED, SCREECHY]: * Sanasa *

[BOTH LAUGH]

[WOMAN SINGING OPERATICALLY]

[***]

PARIS: I'm excited to go to the new Saks.

Have you been yet? Yes.

It's beautiful. Yeah. It's so beautiful.

There's just no time to even go shopping.

[BOTH LAUGHING] ALAN CUMMING: After yet another

humiliating rejection,

most people would eat their feelings,

but not Paris and Nicole.

There's no scar too deep

a little fashion therapy can't heal.

Knock, knock!

Coles! How are you guys? Welcome.

Hi, Tony!

Mmm! Mwah! Mwah! Amazing.

Nice to see you guys. You too.

I'm so excited to be here.

ALAN CUMMING: But this shopping spree isn't just for pleasure.

The girls need dresses

as grand as they intend their opera to be.

I'm so excited about the opera It's amazing.

that I heard about. That's so incredible.

Wanna be in it? I'll be in it.

Okay! I don't have a singing voice,

but I'll still be in it.

You can dance. Yeah. I can. [LAUGHS]

Oh! [ALL LAUGH]

Yes.

When I think of opera,

Paris and Nicole are probably the last people

[LAUGHING] that come to my mind.

But, [BLEEP], let's just do it.

TONY: Look how beautiful this is.

When I think of the opera,

I always think of flowers, roses.

It's a little feminine for me.

Is it too feminine for you? Okay.

You know? But I do appreciate that it exists.

Like, I could have imagined my mom back in the day

going to the opera in one of these gowns,

which is, like, kind of an old-school look.

It's gorgeous. Every lady, when she goes to the opera,

she should always have a cocktail ring

with a gown on.

I think that's very chic.

Nicole and I are doing something

that's, like, our own style of opera.

So, this isn't the right look?

Yeah. Okay.

[***]

Wow.

Look how amazing this is. I love it.

Isn't that incredible on you?

Also, for opera, I always think of a cape.

I don't think it's for the opera.

I just think it's for, like, my life.

Oh, yeah? [LAUGHS]

You almost look like an Oscar.

Mm? [TONY LAUGHS]

You look like a James Bond girl in this.

You look like a mermaid. Thank you.

Oh, my God. Now, this is Old Hollywood.

Now, is this the right theme for the opera you're doing?

I feel [BLEEP] and I wanna slap someone.

[LAUGHS] Go for it. Here.

[BOTH LAUGHING] Love you.

Now, that's hot. [LAUGHS]

That's amazing on you. That's beautiful.

It reminds me of the old Simple Lifedays, milking the cows.

One of those sexy leather looks to milk a cow in.

Oh, yes. No. [TONY LAUGHS]

I'm very milkmaid, for sure.

Ta-da! [CHUCKLES]

ALAN CUMMING: Life has taught Paris and Nicole

that there's no problem so big

that you can't throw money at it.

So, to get their opus back on track,

they head back to the mothership.

Hi. Good to see you again.

So good to see you.

All right. Hi. Oh-- How are you?

Very good. How are you guys doing?

You look very nice.

We missed you. Thank you. You too.

And it's so cool that you can play accordion.

Yeah. And I think it's gonna help us...

as far as, like, showcasing what the opera is,

and sex sells, and so does Ed.

Oh, thank you.

Once they see you, you know,

they're gonna be like, "Oh, we're-- We're investing."

And we realized that operas can get expensive, so...

we thought of a sponsorship, and the first person I thought of

was a Hilton, so... we went over there.

I know some people.

So, what is it you wanted to meet about today?

So, we're doing an opera.

An opera. Mm-hm.

It's called The Sanasa-Opera. Okay.

It's just, like, amazing, incredible, show-stopping--

Iconic. Yeah.

What do you need? Um, instead of telling you,

we would like to show you.

Okay. [ACCORDION PLAYING]

PARIS, NICOLE, & ED [OFF-KEY]: * Sanasa, sanasa *

* Sanasa-sa, sanasa *

* Sanasa, sanasa *

* Sanasa-sa, sanasa *

* Sanasa, sanasa *

* Sanasa-sa, sanasa *

* Sanasa, sanasa *

* Sanasa-sa, sanasa *

[HIGH-PITCHED, SCREECHY] * Sanasa *

And we would like...

[***]

One million dollars.

[CHUCKLES EVILLY]

NICOLE: Thank you.

[ACCORDION PLAYING]

* Sanasa-sa, sanasa *

* Sanasa-sa, sanasa *

* Sanasa *

[SIGHS] Oh, boy. That was a lot to take in there.

You have my number, right?

Uh-- Uh-- Uh, yep. We got it. Yep.

Great.

[WOMAN SINGING OPERATICALLY]

ALAN CUMMING: With only two weeks before the big show,

Paris and Nicole's to-do list remains entirely unchecked.

[BOTH CHUCKLING] My office setup.

ALAN CUMMING: But with an infusion of funds,

things are about to take a turn.

Ready to get down to business.

Every time I think we've done so much,

I realize that we haven't done anything. I know.

ALAN CUMMING: I see a montage in our future.

But before we get to that, they need to book a venue.

Wait! How have we not booked a venue yet?

Two weeks before the opening night?

Oh, my.

Beautiful.

Isn't this beautiful? Yes.

[PARIS GASPS]

Look at the ceilings. I love that. So gorgeous.

NICOLE: That light fixture.

PARIS: This is stunning.

NICOLE: Beautiful. PARIS: Yes.

It's perfect.

My name's Taylor. I'm the production manager here.

Oh. Hi, Taylor. Nicole. Nice to meet you. Hi.

Ah. Very nice to meet you. Nicole.

Hello. This is so beautiful. It's nice to meet you.

TAYLOR: Yeah, it is-- It is pretty breathtaking.

NICOLE: It really is.

PARIS: It's perfect. So excited. TAYLOR: And here's a...

spectacular view. Yeah. Look.

This is sick.

TAYLOR: And, uh, at one point,

Led Zeppelin performed on this stage.

Yes. This is beyond.

This step really feels real now.

Mm-hm. I'm like, "Okay.

We really are putting on this opera."

Sill and Bill to the rescue. That's right.

[CHUCKLES] ALAN CUMMING: Cue that montage!

NICOLE: We wanted to have some

young people in our opera,

so... does that sound interesting to people?

Like, does anyone wanna have their own personal security?

Cool.

Give me a big old smile. Show me them pearly whites.

I don't do that. [LAUGHS]

So, basically, I put a TikTok out,

and I said that we were looking for superfans,

and... This is what came back.

...thousands and thousands of people sent videos.

We need a costume designer. Yeah.

[***]

Cute! I'm very into this. It's pretty. I like that.

My mom practically us raised onThe Simple Life.

BOTH: * Sanasa, sanasa *

* Sanasa-sa, sanasa * [LAUGHS]

Have you guys ever heard of the international hit "Sanasa?"

No.

Hm.

We have a problem.

This is very opera.

I love this print.

Yeah. Like metallic. Okay.

* Sanasa *

* Sanasa *

* Sanasa *

[BABBLES]

* Sanasa-sa *

[GIGGLES] His first word, "Sanasa."

He knows good music. He does.

Oh! Oh!

ALAN CUMMING: Sometimes, our naivety can be our greatest strength.

[STUDENTS CHEERING, CHATTERING]

[LAUGHING]

Woo--!

[DOORBELL RINGS] ALAN CUMMING: I'm sure that's

what Tchaikovsky must've relied on when creating his operas.

[WOMAN SINGING OPERATICALLY]

[***]

ALAN CUMMING: It's less than a week till showtime,

and Nicole and Paris still need to recruit a supersized cast

for their one-word operatic opus.

PARIS: So, we're gonna go to the Saban now for those auditions.

NICOLE: Yeah.

I think once we do the auditions,

it's gonna just all fall into place.

I agree.

ALAN CUMMING: A quality cast is the lifeblood of any opera.

So, to help with auditions,

Paris and Nicole recruit someone

with a notorious eye for talent,

whose clarity of vision is unmatched.

SIA: Hi, guys!

Hi, love. You look amazing.

ALAN CUMMING: Though somewhat obstructed.

Thanks! I can see very, very, very little bit.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

This is major. We have... Yeah.

...literally, Sia helping us audition people

for our opera. Yeah.

So, heh... [PARIS & NICOLE LAUGH]

...this is about an opera you wrote when you were kids?

Yes, hi! [LAUGHING] Hi! It's so nice to see you.

PARIS: Hi, love. You look amazing. Hi, sis. You look incredible.

Hi, Paris! Thanks for inviting me.

I'm really, really excited about today, I hope you know.

You're sitting right here.

I love a little bit of talent. So do we.

Lo-- I really love talent.

No one knows talent like you. I know.

Mm, mm. You're the most talented.

[LAUGHS] Thanks! [GIGGLING] [LAUGHING]

SIA: All right. Let's get this show on the road. Ha, ha!

NICOLE: Okay. Send 'em out!

[SINGING NOTES]

[SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[SINGING NOTES]

[SINGING NOTES]

Looks like a big pretzel.

[LAUGHS]

PARIS: It's really special to

not only have opera singers in this,

but to also have superfans of us and the show

and this is a dream come true to them.

So, to do something like this for them is--

Is really special.

[SINGING NOTES]

[SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

SIA: Wow. You have an incredible voice. That's opera.

Beautiful. I felt like I was in nature.

Yeah, I felt like I w-- Me too.

Had-- Had taken a walk through a beautiful forest

after eating some psilocybin.

[SIA & PARIS LAUGHING] Yes. [LAUGHING]

That's perfect.

By the way, I'm sorry I'm dressed

like I was going to a funeral,

but for opera auditions, we usually do,

because half of our audiences are dying, so...

[LAUGHS]

SIA: That was amazing.

Thank you.

Next!

Lola, can you do a rooster? [BIRD CROWING]

[ALL LAUGH] Yes! WOMAN: Chicken.

[CLUCKS]

WOMAN: Can you do a kitty-cat?

No! Oh.

She said no. I-- Let's--

Respect boundaries. She had stage fright?

Come on, do the kitty-cat. No!

Yes! Oh!

[PARIS & NICOLE LAUGH] WOMAN: Do it!

No! Yes!

No! Oh!

PARIS: The best.

I love the fans. [SIA LAUGHS]

I'm obsessed. PARIS: We're obsessed.

If we've got a spot for a dance act,

he would be the dance act.

We do. We do.

[SIA & NICOLE LAUGH]

PARIS: Love the blond mohawk.

He's the best boy.

He's so rock 'n' roll.

Yeah. [ALL LAUGHING]

Yeah. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.

I know, I know!

[ALL CONTINUE LAUGHING]

[BOTH SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

You guys are panty-droppers.

The girls are gonna go crazy for you.

They're gonna go "cuckoo!"

BOTH: * Cuckoo *

* Cuckoo *

* Let's build A slaughter house *

[GASPS]

* And spray-paint over the S To trick them in *

* Let's build A slaughter house *

That is so scary. Yeah.

* Spray-paint over the S To trick them in *

But that was terribly scary! Yes.

[LAUGHS] It was.

NICOLE: Hello.

What do you do for a living,

just in your regular life?

Um, I scare people.

[CHUCKLES MISCHIEVOUSLY]

I'm scared already.

You should be.

SIA [LAUGHS]: Yes. Oh, my God.

I feel very connected to you.

PARIS: Yes. Oh, cool.

Have you heard of the world-famous song, "Sanasa?"

* Sanasa, sanasa *

I swear, I think we look alike and I-- He's gonna play me.

I'm obsessed. Yeah, definitely.

[CONTINUES SINGING]

Would you ever feel comfortable playing me?

I don't think that would be a problem.

We don't wanna tell people today if they got it, but--

[HIGH-PITCHED] * Next *

* Sanasa, sanasa *

* Sanasa-sa, sanasa * SIA: Oh!

[LAUGHS] Yes! Yes.

* Sanasa, sanasa *

* Sanasa-sa, sanasa *

* Sanasa, sanasa *

Hi. Oh! [LAUGHING]

[LAUGHS] See? He kinda scared you.

SIA: Yes! NICOLE: Oh!

Oh! [WHOOPING]

[LAUGHING]

I'm gonna faint. I'm gonna faint. I'm gonna vomit.

There are already fluids coming out of my body.

What's your name? [LAUGHS]

Rawlins.

You come up on my TikTok For You Page

all the time.

How are you doing?

That's hot, you sexy bitch.

Hey! [LAUGHS]

[GRUNTS]

And then shake it to the side,

shake it to the side. We're gonna come join you.

Yeah. We're coming. Yeah, you got-- Let's--

Come on. Let's all do this together. We got this.

Top! Down! Oh!

And we're gonna windmill! Windmill!

It's-- Windmill.

Yes, very nice, Nicole. Very good. I like to see it!

Okay. Okay.

This is the really complicated one.

And-- And then you're gonna click those-- Those the--

Oh! Yeah, you're gonna make 'em clap.

Oh, very good. Very nice. Yeah. I'm makin' 'em clap.

[LAUGHS] Oh! Thank God. Thank God, quite honestly. Oh my God.

Oh, so good. So good. So good.

Is there any way to make 'em slap while singing "Sanasa?"

* Sanasa, sanasa *

Yes. [LAUGHS]

* Sanasa-sa, sanasa *

* Sanasa *

[GRUNTS]

[HIGH-PITCHED, LOUD] * Sanasa *

[PARIS & NICOLE LAUGHING]

PARIS, NICOLE, & SIA [LAUGHING]: Yes!

SIA: Ha! You got the best talent in LA.

PARIS: Right? NICOLE: Yeah.

We're gonna make an opera.

ALAN CUMMING: Next!

The two of you have the best chemistry

in the whole world. Like, truly.

NICOLE: We actually used to work here.

WOMAN: Okay. Welcome to Sonic,

how can I help you, you little bitch?

[YELPS]

[WHOOPS]

Duck! Whoa!

Ladies and gentlemen, we are putting on an opera.

MAN: What?

PARIS: Oh, my God. Is it broken?

How long until we can put a red carpet over this?

Door got locked. How the hell--?

[***]

[DRILL WHIRRING]

MAN: Okay, here we go.

Three, two, one.

PARIS: Hello? Uh... Is it broken?

[WOMAN SINGING OPERATICALLY]