Original subtitles

The plane! The plane!

Ah, there you are, Tat...

A bit, uh, affectatious today, aren't we?

It's part of my new image.

Indeed. And, uh, what sort of image did you have in mind?

I want to be more like you... Strong, silent,

mysterious.

They say that, uh, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

I thank you, Tattoo. Uh, but, uh, why do you wish to be like me?

To attract more broads, just like you.

Ladies, Tattoo. We call them ladies.

Not the kind I've been attracting.

Smiles, everyone. Smiles.

Mr. Harry Beamus, New York City.

He looks like a nice man.

Oh, yes.

Everyone likes good old Harry.

He'll give you the shirt off his back, when he has it to give.

You mean, another freeloader?

Rest easy, my mercenary friend.

Mr. Beamus is a paying guest,

thanks to a 30-1 long shot that won by three lengths.

- Oh, a gambler. - Mm-hmm.

Maybe I can interest him in a friendly game of chance?

That would be most unwise and costly.

You see, Tattoo, Mr. Beamus's fantasy...

is one shared by every gambler the world over.

For this weekend, Mr. Beamus is going to become...

the luckiest man in the world.

Uh, the young lady is Miss Edith Garvey.

Her life's ambition is to be a singer.

Miss Garvey wants to be a very special type of singer, Tattoo.

She wants to be a torch singer,

like her grandmother was in Chicago during the Roaring '20s.

Boss, that could cost a fortune.

She could even get hurt or killed.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

What are you reading, Tattoo?

Oh, it's a new book to go with my new image.

The title is, How To Speak With More Color.

Oh.

Hark! Who knocks at yonder door?

How was that, boss? Oh, splendid, Tattoo.

Hi. Oh, hi.

Ah, Mr. Beamus. Come in.

Mr. Roarke. Well, are you ready to begin your fantasy?

I'm in the starting gate, ready to go.

Good. Sit down, please.

Ah, Tattoo.

What? No. Not for me. It's a little too early in the day for booze. Thank you.

Ah, but this is something very special, Mr. Beamus.

Have you ever heard of Diamond Jim Brady?

Diamond Jim? Sure.

Why, in his time, he was just about the luckiest dude going.

They say everything he touched turned to gold. My sort of guy.

Well, then you should surely appreciate the elixir contained in that goblet.

Ah, it came from Diamond Jim Brady's private stock.

And magic too.

- Magic? - Uh, Tattoo.

It is said Mr. Brady always fortified himself...

with a little glass of this special elixir,

uh, before entering into any business negotiations.

And, uh, as you say,

he was just about the luckiest "dude" around.

Let me get this straight.

All I have to do is drink some of that stuff, and my fantasy begins?

Why don't you try it and find out?

Okay.

A $20 bill. I found a $20 bill.

Ah, there, you see? Your luck is changing already.

Well, this certainly looks like your lucky day.

Two lucky days, Mr. Roarke. That's what you promised me.

Two days I've waited for all of my life.

Well, come on, Andrew Jackson. I got big plans for you.

Well, enjoy, Mr. Beamus. Enjoy.

Thank you, Mr. Roarke. Thank you.

Boss, that was my $20 bill.

Oh, cheer up, Tattoo. Think of your new image.

Surely there is a colorful quote to cover the loss of your money.

- There is? - Yes.

Finders keepers, losers weepers.

How do I look?

Splendid. The perfect flapper, hey, Tattoo?

A real red-hot mama.

Oh, thank you.

Well, how do I begin?

Ah, but now the first thing you must remember is the name Kitty Abilene.

That will be your name, your professional billing, during your fantasy.

Kitty Abilene.

Your transportation to Chicago and the Roaring '20s.

- You... You can really do that? - Oh, indeed.

Many, many people who still remember the Roaring '20s...

as glamorous, exciting, romantic,

want to relive them, and they all come to Fantasy Island.

Oh, I'm getting so excited already.

Well, then I suggest you get started. You have a long way to go.

That's right. Fifty years backwards.

Good-bye, Edith!

And hello, Kitty.

All right. Come on now. Two sixes. That's all I want.

Two sixes. Here we go.

Yeah! Read 'em and weep.

- Unbelievable! - Come on. Pay up. Eighty dollars.

Let's go. Come on. One, two. That's beautiful.

Thank you, sir. Come again.

How 'bout you, pal? A little try?

Are you kidding? Playing with you is kamikaze time.

I never saw anything like it. Name's Harry, right?

Yeah. Harry Beamus. You can call me Lucky.

Okay, Lucky. Let us in. What have you got? A new system?

No system. I got a streak goin', that's all. I'm hot. I'm hot.

Then why aren't you playing the horses?

- They got a horse parlor on this island? - I'm going there right now.

Lead the way, pal. Come on. Lead the way. Yoo-hoo! Lucky?

Yeah. Mind if I tag along?

Oh, I'd love you to tag along. What do I look, senile? Come on, let's... Oh.

How 'bout me, Lucky? Yeah. You too. You can tag along.

All I need now is a redhead, and I got a matched set.

Will I do, Lucky? Oh, will you do?

Yes, you'll do. Thank you, Mr. Roarke! Let's go!

It's Harry's Pal in front by 12 lengths,

and down the stretch they come.

Harry's Pal pulling away from the field. Come on!

Harry's Pal now going away by 14, and here's the finish.

It's Harry's Pal an easy winner! Yeah!

I knew it! I knew it!

Come on!

Hey, there you go. Cash those in.

Lucky, how do you do it? Three winners in a row.

It's luck, darlin'. Strictly luck.

Lucky? Why, he's got the Midas touch.

Hey, thank you.

Mr. Beamus? Yeah.

Who do you like on the next race?

We'll put everything I got on Zim Zam. You do the same.

Zim Zam? I don't know about that. Let's talk this one over here.

You don't wanna do it? Okay.

All right. You heard what the man said. Everything on Zim Zam.

Zim Zam to win. You're covered.

There will be a change of jockeys.

A jockey change will be announced for number three, Zim Zam.

Kitty. Kitty Abilene! Am I glad to see you.

Here, keep the change. Who are you?

Who am I? Don't tell me you don't know your own agent, Joe Passi.

Uh, you've been waiting here for me?

Why else would I be pounding the pavement like

this, especially with my ulcer kicking up?

Come on. We're on our way to my office.

We'll stop there, you'll sign the papers, I'll get you all dolled up.

- I want you to look good for Big Al. - Who's Big Al?

Sweetheart, let's stop playing games, huh?

- I'll go through it just one more time. - Please.

Now Big Al's comic, the one he stole from Bugsy McGowan,

he gets his throat cut by Bugsy.

In a fit of temper, no doubt. He's dead?

No, he's in the hospital. For once he's the one in stitches.

A comic in stitches. You get it?

Anyway, Big Al needs somebody fast to go on for him at the Kit Kat Club,

and I sell him you, sight unseen.

Me?

Yeah, sweetheart. It's the break of a lifetime.

If he likes you, the sky's the limit.

Oh, but what if he doesn't like me?

Oh, then you and I are in very large trouble.

- But if you don't wanna give it a try... - Oh, I do. Yes, I do.

What are we waiting for? Come on. Let's go.

A gap of two-and-a-half lengths between Boilin' Bert, Lucky Lenny,

and trailing the field by some 10 lengths, Zim Zam.

They move to the head of the stretch and turning for home.

It's Solid Impact in front, Lucky Lenny is second, and Fearless Fred is third.

It's Lucky Lenny, Fearless Fred, Solid Impact and Zim Zam.

Zim Zam! Here comes Zim Zam, swinging to the middle of the track,

and here comes Zim Zam with a bold move.

He's ninth. He's eighth. Come on! Come on, Zim Zam!

He's coming through between horses.

He's caught Fearless Fred. He's fourth. He's third. Come on!

Here comes Zim Zam. He's second and coming down the wire.

It's Lucky Lenny on the inside, Zim Zam on the outside. Come on, Zim Zam! Yes!

It's stride for stride as they come to the wire. Come on!

The winner by a nose is Lucky Lenny, Zim Zam second,

and Fearless Fred got up for the show.

What happened?

Mr. Roarke, where are you when I need you?

Ladies and gentlemen, please hold all tickets.

Repeat... Please hold all tickets.

The inquiry sign has just been posted.

Attention... The stewards have disqualified Lucky Lenny...

for interference through the stretch.

The official winner is Zim Zam!

This race is official.

Zim Zam, the winner, due to disqualification, paid $72...

Hear that? Zim Zam. Let's... Oh.

Hey, that's mine, right? Thank you.

Placed third, $3.60 to show.

Time of the race, one minute, 36 and 2/5th second.

Good afternoon, Mr. Beamus. Is everything satisfactory?

Like I died and went to heaven, Mr. Roarke.

That good, huh? Well, I'm very pleased.

I'm pleased too. Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Hi, boss.

Tattoo,

taking advantage of a guest's fantasy for personal gain...

is shameful.

What do you have to say for yourself?

Wait a minute, boss.

"Money is not the root of all evil.

No money is."

Fred sent me.

♪♪

That's him, doll... the one you gotta play to. Big Al Carlucci.

Make that mug cry, and, like I told you, the sky's the limit.

♪♪

Well, you're on, kid. Let's go.

Sweetheart, don't be nervous. Just give the man your music.

You can read, can't you?

I can read anything you can put on paper. Neil Martin.

Kitty Abilene. Nice to meet you.

Hey, let's get with it. Come on. Big Al is waitin'.

Which key, miss? Uh, B-flat.

Yeah, yeah. B-flat. B-flat.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Club Kit Kat is proud to present...

that new singing sensation, Miss Kitty Abilene!

Let me tell you, this better be good...

or that crumb bum agent'll be looking for a concrete overcoat.

♪♪

♪ You made me love you ♪

♪ I didn't wanna do it ♪

♪ I didn't wanna do it ♪

♪ You made me want you ♪

♪ And all the time you knew it ♪

♪ I guess you always knew it ♪

♪ You made me happy ♪

♪ Sometimes ♪

♪ You made me glad ♪

♪ But there were times, dear ♪

♪ You made me feel so bad ♪

♪ You made me sigh ♪

♪ For I didn't wanna tell you ♪

♪ I didn't wanna tell you ♪

♪ I want some love ♪

♪ That's true ♪

♪ Yes, I do 'Deed, I do ♪

♪ You know I do ♪

♪ Give me, give me ♪ Isn't she wonderful?

♪ What I cry for ♪

Well, what do you say, Big Al? Would I steer you wrong?

Has she got it, or has she got it? ♪ That I'd die for ♪

All right. So she's got it.

♪ You know ♪ Who needs a schlockin' comic?

♪ You made me ♪ Hey, hey, I got me a real "chantoozy" star.

♪ Love you ♪♪

The winner for our dance contest,

Mr. Harry Beamus and his lovely partner!

Lucky. Fill it up here. Come on! Beautiful.

Ahh!

Mr. Beamus, I must talk to you. Yeah, well...

Ah, now, please. Okay. Don't go away. Don't go away.

♪♪

Before you say anything, Mr. Roarke, may I tell you something?

I owe you. You really came through. This is the best fantasy.

I can't tell you.

Uh, Mr. Beamus, a, uh, cablegram has arrived from your ex-wife.

Hey, I sent the alimony. Oh, no. This has nothing to do with alimony.

Your ex-wife's sister, uh, Blanche, has been taken ill. Yeah.

And that's it? Yes.

Blanche is sick? Yes.

Mr. Roarke, Blanche is a hypochondriac.

She wouldn't be happy unless she was sick.

I see. Well, in any event, um, your ex-wife had to leave New York, uh, hurriedly...

to care for her sister,

and, uh, she sent something along for safekeeping.

That's my son, Joey.

- Hi, Dad. - Joey.

Dad.

Aren't you glad to see me, Dad?

Sure, I'm glad to see you. I'm always glad to see you. Give me a hug.

Joey, you'll get tennis elbow from that much brushing.

Let's go. Come on.

Why do I have to go to bed so early?

Early? Since when has 11:30 been early for an 11-year-old?

Now, come on. Hit the sack. Okay.

Let's see those teeth. Good.

You know, it's good to see you. It's good to see you too.

How's your mama?

She's okay.

She, uh...

She been seeing anyone special lately?

Just a couple of chumps. You know, real suckers.

Not high rollers like us.

What kind of language is that, Joey?

Our kind, Dad. Right?

Right. Good night, champ.

Good night, Dad.

You going back to the party?

Well, I'd planned to,

but... suddenly I don't feel much like it.

Hello, Mr. Ames. How good to see you. Please come in. Come in.

I-I hope I'm not disturbing you, Mr. Roarke.

Oh, not at all, Mr. Ames. Not at all. Come in.

I just wanted to stop by to say thanks.

Well, I assume the fantasy you requested has been fulfilled.

Oh, in spades, Mr. Roarke.

In spades.

There I was, standing in the meadow,

and the spaceship landed.

It wasn't more than a hundred yards from me. Oh, it sounds most exciting.

But that's not the end of it.

A little green man got out, and we conversed.

Indeed. What about?

Well, I... I'm not quite sure.

I... I was very nervous,

and he spoke with an accent.

Martian, I expect.

Oh, I can't wait to get home.

I'll be the talk of the U.F.O. Club for weeks to come!

Thank you. Thank you.

Now, can I get out of this ridiculous outfit? Huh, boss?

So, that's what it is. You have a Martian accent.

Ahh.

I still can't believe last night really happened.

And today...

Oh, it's been the nicest, the sweetest afternoon of my life.

Thank you, Neil. Don't thank me.

It's been one of the nicest afternoons of my life too.

Well, then I hope we spend a lot of afternoons together. Whoa!

Whoop! Come on!

Okay. Okay. Whoa!

Ohh! Whew! I'm gettin' old.

Hey, you know, you were sensational last night.

And with Big Al behind you, you can be as big a star as you wanna be.

You've already been in all the papers. You're riding on a magic carpet.

Ah!

Well, it's big enough for two.

What's your dream, Neil? You must have one. Everyone has.

Not to spend the rest of my life...

playing in places like the Kit Kat Club.

Well, then what? You really wanna know?

I really do.

Well, then come with me, back to my room. Will you?

Of course. Okay. Come on.

How's it goin', Dad? Not too good, Joey.

I need a 10 to win. See if we can do it.

Yeah! Great shot, Dad!

Yeah, wasn't that bad at all. Yeah.

Give you a chance to get even. No way.

Then pay up. Let's go. Willie. You too.

Here you are, Lucky. You did it again.

That'll teach you to bet against me, okay? Was that great?

Yeah. Having a good time? Enjoying yourself?

This place is just like the Fontainebleau.

Remember the time we went down there for the dog races?

That's the time we made the killing on the exacta. Those were really great times.

Listen. Wait a minute. Here's five bucks. Get yourself a soda pop, anything you want.

Thanks, but there isn't time. The horse parlor opens in 10 minutes.

- Yeah, but... - Yeah, Harry.

Let's go to the horse parlor.

We can go to the horse parlor anytime, okay?

Wouldn't you rather hang around here and play?

No way, man! I wanna be where the real action is.

- I'll see you as soon as I get dressed. - Yeah, but, Joey...

Come on, Harry. Come on.

Come on, Harry. Let's go. Okay?

♪♪

♪♪

That was beautiful. Why did you stop?

That's all there is. The concerto was never finished.

Why haven't you finished it?

I don't know. No one's ever cared about me and my music before.

Well, someone is now...

More than interested.

Will you promise me you'll finish it?

Okay, I promise.

And I'll dedicate it to you.

The track conditions for the third course...

will be listed as firm.

And, ladies and gentlemen, you're reminded there will be an exacta...

Thank you.

Hey, there you go, kid. Oh, thanks, Dad.

We're doing okay, huh? Yeah.

There.

Oh, thanks, Dad. Okay.

Who do you like in the race after next? Let's see. I don't know.

Let's take a look. Who do you like?

Ah, I like Dandy Jim.

Dandy Jim? Ha. Okay. Dandy Jim it is.

How's school going, champ?

Ah, I haven't been going much.

What do you mean by that? Dad, it's too big a hassle.

Hassle? What kind of talk is that, Joey?

Hey, Lucky, you're missing the race. Hey! Not now.

But don't you want to hear... I said not now!

Dad, the race. Does your mother know you've been cutting school?

Are you kidding? She'd kill me.

Hey, listen. School's important, Joey. You gotta get an education.

Well, you never got an education.

Well, that's different. How?

What's happening to you, Joey?

Don't worry about me, Dad. I'll be fine.

- Sure. That's what you think. - No, really.

See, I'm gonna grow up and be a real winner just like you.

♪♪

♪♪ Thank you, boys. Nice job. Nice job.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

the Club Kit Kat is proud to present...

Big Al's new singing sensation,

the girl all Chicago's talkin' about...

and the star of our show,

Miss Kitty Abilene!

♪♪

♪ Love me or leave me ♪

♪ And let me be lonely ♪

♪ You won't believe me ♪

♪ And I love you only ♪

♪ I'd rather be lonely ♪

♪ Than happy with somebody else ♪♪

Everybody just stay where you are, and no one's gonna get hurt!

Wait a minute. This ain't kosher.

I pay off everybody down at City Hall, from the men's room janitor to the mayor.

And they're raiding my joint? Remind me to call His Honor in the morning.

Hey. Hey, Big Al.

Don't we know that big palooka? He ain't no real cop.

That's Bruce Malone. He's Bugsy's hooligan.

Say, what in the hell's going on around here?

Would you, uh,

like me to tell you, Big Al?

Bugsy.

You stole my comic.

Got all Chicago laughing at me. You think I'm gonna let you get away with that?

And just what do you think you're gonna do about it?

I'm gonna grab your new canary. Moose, bring the broad.

Sure thing, boss.

No! Hey, wait a minute.

She's not gonna be any good unless I play for her. Oh, yeah? So you come too.

Oh! Let me go! Help!

Oh, I hate that punk. That dirty, lousy scum.

Up till now I've been easy. Just wait. Come on. Let's go.

Strange that a man of your unlimited luck...

would spend his time pitching cards into a hat.

Suddenly I don't feel so lucky, Mr. Roarke.

Oh? Surely all is in order.

Tattoo tells me you have had considerable success betting on the horses.

Sure. Horses. Cards.

Dice. Dames.

I can't lose, except maybe as a father.

You know what my son's ambition is, Mr. Roarke?

He wants to be just like me.

Oh. You must be very proud.

Proud?

I'm a bum, Mr. Roarke, a two-bit gambler.

Nobody'd want their kid to be like me.

But in your son's eyes you are a very big man.

Well, that's a lie. I'm not a big man.

I'm a man who once lost his car on a sure thing,

lost his house on a World Series,

and lost his family and any decent friends 'cause he couldn't stop gambling.

The boy only knows what he sees,

and, uh, he loves you very much, Mr. Beamus.

And I love him.

I love him more than anything in the world,

and that's what's gonna hurt.

Hi, Dad.

What are you doing with my suitcase?

I'm sending you home where you belong.

Home?

But I wanna stay here with you.

No chance.

- D-Did I do something wrong? - Yes, you did something wrong.

You came here to Fantasy Island uninvited.

I was having a ball, a real ball, till you showed up.

But I thought you'd be glad to see me.

Yeah, well, you were wrong. I was putting on a big front.

Dad, please don't send me home.

What's the matter with you? Can't you understand?

Are you stupid or something? You're cutting into my action.

Let me tell you something. Your old man's a loner, a drifter.

No ties. I come and go as I please.

I do what I want when I want.

And I can't operate like that with a

snot-nosed kid like you hanging around my neck!

But you said you love me.

So what else is new? I lied.

Anyway, love is strictly for suckers.

Dad, please don't talk like that.

I wanna stay with you forever.

Living with Mom is no fun. She's nothing but a square.

Don't you ever say anything against your mother!

Do you understand?

I understand. Please, Dad. Can't we be friends?

You really are stupid, aren't you?

You never heard a word I said.

I'm gonna arrange with Roarke to have you on that morning plane,

and until then, stay out of my life!

Look what we got, folks!

Snatched right off the stage at the Kit Kat,

Big Al's prize canary, Miss Kitty Abilene.

All right.

All right, sweetheart. Give.

You expect me to sing?

I expect you to knock 'em dead.

You remember that comic in the hospital?

Come on. It's okay. Just relax.

"Love Me Or Leave Me"?

That's fine.

♪♪

♪ Love me or leave me ♪

♪ And let me be lonely ♪

♪ You won't believe me ♪

♪ And I love you only ♪

♪ I'd rather be lonely than... ♪♪

It's Big Al, out front with his whole gang!

I've worked at this club before. In the kitchen there's an icebox.

Next to it is a delivery window. You can get through it. Now go!

My music! I'll get it!

No! I can't leave without you. Will you get out of here?

Hurry. Hurry, before it's too late.

Mr. Roarke.

Come. Come. No, I can't.

Come. Come. You-You must get out of here. Please.

Fortunately, I have the best wheelman in the business.

How can he reach the brake?

Brake? What's the brake?

Come on.

We can't leave, not now. I've got to find Neil. He has to come with us.

Your fantasy is over, Kitty. Miss Garvey.

Better to just leave.

No. No! I've got to go back!

Miss Garvey. Miss Garvey!

You won't like it.

Neil!

Neil!

Neil.

It's Kitty. I've come back.

Neil?

Neil!

I'm sorry, Miss Garvey,

but I told you, your fantasy's over.

As you can tell from the dust and cobwebs,

no one has been here for 50 years.

Well, hello, Joey.

Mr. Roarke, it's not fair. It's just not fair. What?

My fantasy didn't come true, and you promised.

I promised to reunite you and your father. Now, that I did.

But I meant it for keeps.

Joey, your father is sending you away for your own good.

It's not for my own good. I wanna stay with him.

Sit down, Joey. Sit down.

Joey, you told your father...

you wanted to grow up and be just like him, didn't you?

Mm-hmm. Well, that frightened him.

Why? Because your father doesn't like what he is.

He's a winner. Not always, Joey.

As a matter of fact, very seldom is he a winner.

Because of his gambling, he lost you and your mother.

Those were the biggest losses of all.

Oh, your father loves you, Joey,

so much so that he's trying to drive you away...

to prevent you from following in his footsteps.

Don't you see?

Well, that's the reason I acted that way, so he would like me,

and... and then we could stay together.

The trouble is,

he doesn't like himself and he never will,

not until he gives up gambling.

Well, maybe I can help him give it up. Do I still have to go home?

I'm afraid so, Joey.

In that case, I think you should refund me

the five dollars I paid you for my fantasy.

Not so fast, my friend. Not so fast.

I have a big overhead here.

Besides, your plane doesn't leave until morning,

and a lot can happen between now and then.

Come. Where?

You'll see.

Your 500,

and I raise... 5,000.

Five. Five more.

Joey has something to tell you, Mr. Beamus.

You had no right to bring him here, Mr. Roarke.

Talk to your son, Mr. Beamus.

It's important to you both.

Is it all right, fellas? About a minute?

Joey.

What is it, Joey?

Well, it's just that...

I promise not to grow up and be a gambler, if that's what you want.

What makes you think I care?

Something Mr. Roarke said.

Dad, please come home again.

I don't think that's gonna be possible.

Sure, it is. Mom still loves you.

How do you know that?

She said it. I heard her tell Aunt Martha.

It won't work, Joey. I'm a gambler.

You can quit. I know you can.

Please, Dad. At least you can try.

Hey, Lucky! You gonna play or not?

- What was it to me again? - Five thousand.

Three, four,

five.

I call. What do you got?

Three 10's.

Beats me.

I guess Lucky Beamus just retired.

Oh, Dad!

Good-bye.

I am very pleased to see father and son leaving together.

Likewise, Mr. Roarke, and I just wanna say...

coming to Fantasy Island was the best bet I ever made.

You are going back to your wife, Mr. Beamus?

If she'll have me, yep.

I finally realized the luckiest man in the world...

was me when I had my family together.

Come on, Dad. Let's get a window seat. Thank you, Mr. Roarke.

Yes, Joey.

Good-bye, Mr. Beamus, and, uh, good luck.

Right. Thank you. Good-bye, Tattoo. Bye-bye.

Good-bye.

Bye.

Well, Miss Garvey, I hope your fantasy was not a disappointment.

I wouldn't say it was a disappointment.

I wouldn't wanna do it again, but I wouldn't have missed it.

Showbiz in the Roaring '20s was a real killer.

Uh, tell me something, Miss Garvey... Are you still a Roaring '20s buff?

Oh, even more so now that I've been there.

Then I'm truly pleased. Um, here comes someone I think you know.

Neil! I can't believe...

Well, you're not the only one with a fantasy on this island, Miss Garvey.

Neil. I came back to find you, but...

By then the fantasy was over.

But that doesn't mean we can't start a brand-new one.

Look, boss! I found a $20 bill!

Hmm. Perhaps it belongs to Mr. Beamus.

- Oh, if you hurry, you can catch him. - Catch him?

Boss, you forgot a very profound thing.

- Which one is that? - Finders keepers.

- Ah, but you forgot a more important one. - I did?

You owe me $20 from your salary advance.

Boss, that's not very profound.

All right. How 'bout this one then?

A fool and his money are soon parted.

Boss! But...