Original subtitles

Hey!

Oh!

Well, what a pretty picture.

I wish I'd painted that way.

You're not hurt, are you?

Of all the stupid elephants I've ever seen,

you two take the cake.

Why can't you look where you're going?

We were looking where we were going.

We were just trying to find...

I thought so.

A couple of hayseeds from New Rochelle.

No, we're not.

We're from Boston.

Hicks.

Look at me.

Just look at me.

We are looking at you.

Look at my hat.

You mussed me all up.

I wouldn't say that.

Look at my hair. Look at what you've done to it.

Like spun gold.

My dress is all dirty.

More charming than the latest Parisian fox.

And that's not all.

Your eyes?

Even angry, they put the stars to shame.

Ah, let her go, Steve.

I'll go in and see if Ms. Lulu Varden's in.

How did you hear about Lulu Varden way up in Boston?

Injuns.

They spread it by tom-tom.

They sent up smoke signals from hill to hill.

Oh, so you're Indian.

Madam, you are at the moment conversing with maestro Johnny

Bennett, the great young composer.

And with Mr. Stephen Davis of Chestnut

Hill, the great young artist.

How do you do?

I never heard of you.

Well, nobody ever heard of us.

Ah, but they will.

Our fame will spread throughout the land.

We'll take New York by storm.

We'll take London.

We'll take Paris.

I'll take a ride.

It's a nice neighborhood.

I think I'm going to like it.

Professor Garabaldi wrote that you boys were coming.

He said some very nice things about your music, Mr. Bennett.

Your ears must have burned from the nice things

he said about you.

Oh, bless his heart.

He's such a darling.

You know, he used to occupy the very

same studio I've reserved for you.

Are you a composer too, Mr. Davis?

Me?

I'm too weak to carry a tune.

Steve's an artist.

Oh, the studio has a fine north light...

just right for an artist.

Well, that's peachy, Mrs. Varden.

Everyone calls me Lulu.

Everyone calls makes Steve.

I'm Johnny.

Oh, I'm very happy to know you both.

The price will be $6 a week, double,

pay your own gas, and no cooking.

Here's a month in advance.

I'll pay you back, Steve, as soon as I sell my first song.

Um, what kind of struggling artist are you?

He's a different kind, ma'am.

You see, he's struggling not to be a banker.

Oh.

You see, Lulu, my old man is the head of one

of the oldest banking houses in Boston.

He sort of planned on having me follow in his footsteps.

Oh, but you always wanted to be an artist, eh?

Well, not exactly, but it was one way

of getting to Greenwich Village to have fun.

Lulu?

Oh, yes, hello Peter.

I didn't get the Belizon account.

I played at a dance last night.

Ah, Peter look at those cuffs.

How do you expect to get jobs that way?

Here, take this money and go buy yourself a new shirt.

Well, thanks Lulu.

Oh, Edgar!

How did the audition for the symphony go?

They turned me down.

Now where are you going?

Oh, I'm not skipping, Lulu.

I was going to... it's a wonderful violin, worth money.

Mm-hmm, I thought I saw that pawn shop gleam in your eye.

Don't be silly.

Go back to your room.

How are you going to audition without it?

I told you, the audition was...

I mean the next audition.

The one where they won't turn you down.

Thanks, Lulu.

Say, what kind of a landlady are you, anyhow?

What do you mean?

Well, you're supposed to harangue,

and berate, and foreclose mortgages...

Cast people out in the snow.

Next week, eat slim.

No, boys, this is a house of artists... some are singers,

some are writers, and some are painters, but all artists.

I was one myself.

A great one.

And so you see, without art we have nothing to live by.

People pay when they can, and if they can't, well, they're

still artists, and I still love them

Lulu, you're a very nice girl.

Will you marry me?

I think I'm a little old for a June bride.

Ask me next January.

Well, here we are.

I had your things brought up just as

soon as they arrived by express.

And your trunks are in the bedroom.

Hey.

And here's the piano.

Oh, I do hope it's in tune.

Well, I'll leave you boys to get settled now.

The laundry's picked up on Tuesdays,

and the gas meter;s just outside the door

when the lights go off.

When you leave, the lights will go off.

And then just slap a quarter in the meter.

Come right this way, and I'll show you how.

Put your coin in there.

Now, that will give you one revolution.

Oh, by the way, Steve-

Yes?

Uh, a young lady telephoned you, a Miss Radford.

She wants you to call just as soon as you arrive.

Her number's on the telephone pad downstairs.

Well, thanks, Lulu.

You don't waste much time, do you?

Oh, life's too short to waste time.

Keep beautiful.

Steve, is Olivia here in town?

I'm bringing her in.

Hey, that's swell.

Yeah?

What's swell about it?

Well, you're in love with her, aren't you?

She's your fiancee.

Sure, sure.

Now, don't get me wrong.

Olivia's a great girl, and she'll be a wonderful wife.

But this isn't Boston.

This is Gotham, served up on the half shell at Bryson Webber's.

This is the land of wild oats and Greenwich Village

and beautiful women, and I don't want any of Boston's things

tying me down.

Hello, Tab.

Hello, Molly.

Better not let your father catch you.

Well, well, young ladies, let's begin.

Everyone start with their hands positioned in the middle zone.

Number one, the palms apart.

Number two, the palms forward.

Number three, the palms vertical.

Tessie, dear, the palms vertical should

be raised in gentle terror.

Remember as you move into the move that you are with a cad.

A cad?

A nefarious scoundrel whose intentions are not honorable.

I'm sure Byron's intentions were honorable, Lulu.

Who?

She means Byron Jones.

He's always making the palms vertical to me.

But suppose Byron weren't out with you.

I should like to see him out with anyone else.

We're practically engaged.

Does he know it?

Come, come, come.

Now, girls, come, let's try it again.

Patricia, Patricia, now how many times have I told you,

you should be weak and wilting and sullen,

as if the very air around you were charged with sorry.

But that's namby-pamby.

I'm not afraid of anything.

My dear, do you wish to be a star?

A great star?

Or do you wish to discuss the championship

with Mr. James J. Jeffries?

Now, that's more like a lady.

A lady.

Patricia, life is a book of etiquette and rules.

You're born a girl, but you have to learn to be a lady.

Girls may be attractive to boys, but only a lady

will attract gentlemen, and only gentlemen are rich.

You know those two new boys that are staying with me?

Uh-huh.

Suppose one of them were a millionaire.

Suppose one of them was a Boston banker incognito.

Then he'd be in Boston being a banker.

Oh no, you're wrong.

He might be right here, learning to arrange or compose.

As a matter of fact, my dear, he is right here.

Swell light on this end.

How about you?

Fine.

This window looks out on somebody's roof terrace.

This one looks up at heaven.

Hey, take it easy.

You could pickle onions on that kind of music.

Can't seem to get this tune.

Nice, quiet place.

One, two, three, four.

Three, two, three, four.

Faint, lower the body down.

I can hear the little bird.

One, two, three, four.

Retreat.

Keep the palms vertical.

Scared two, three, four.

Delight.

Expressive visible face, your gift to the whole world.

Three, two, three, four.

Hey, Steve, come and take a look at this.

That little goat we locked horns with.

Time is right for romancing.

The starry light shines above.

Lovely night to go dancing, but it's

a much better night to fall in love.

Patricia O'Neill, come in out of there!

Oh my gosh.

I thought that song was original.

Yeah, so did I. Hey you.

Who me?

I want to see you.

You do?

Right away.

I'll come right over.

Hiya.

Who are you?

What's your name.

I'm Byron Jones.

Yeah, I'm a poet.

You're a card.

No, a bard.

I'm one of the bards at Greg's greeting cards.

I write verses for birthdays and Christmas and all that.

You know, like, "roses are red.

I send them to you, just to say on this day,

'I'll always be true.'"

Hey, look I'm Johnny Bennett.

This is Steve Davis.

Look, where'd you here my tune before?

Oh, I never heard it before.

Well, but you sang words to it.

I made 'em up.

Just like that?

Sure.

I can write poems faster than you can write music.

You can, huh?

Uh-huh.

Well, we'll see about that.

OK.

Now we'll see how good you are.

June.

Moon.

Tune.

Croon.

Broom.

Goon.

Loom.

Spitoon.

Vanilla.

That's a

Hey, you know you're pretty intelligent.

Not only that, but I'm smart too.

I'm the only guy in the world that can rhyme orange.

Orange?

Yeah.

Orange.

Hey, that is a tough one.

How do you rhyme orange?

Oh no you don't.

If I told you I wouldn't be the only guy in the world anymore.

Look, I'm writing tunes and I need words.

What do you say we team up, Byron?

Leave us get working, and keep the muse perking.

I'll bet that's Eddie.

Come in.

Hi, Eddie.

Come on in.

Hey, fellas, this is Eddie Gaskin.

How are you?

I'll bet Lewis sent you up here to invite the fellas

to that shindig down at the restaurant.

Do you usually ride that nag all over the third floor?

Oh, that's just a model.

He's an artist.

He lives right across the hall.

Interesting.

You sell your stuff?

He sure does.

He's got pictures all over the country in all the best places.

Where?

He's hanging in every pool, saloon, livery stable...

All the best places.

They are for his pictures.

What kind of pictures do you do?

He does calendars.

Oh, girls.

No, cows.

Cows?

That's all, just cows... contented cows,

discontented cows, blue cows, moo cows.

He's the bovine Botticelli.

Well, how'd you happen to pick on cows?

He's a little cow-happy.

He painted a picture of Pat O'Neill once.

Boy, was she mad.

What happened.

Nothing much really.

She turned out kind of pretty.

Except for the horns.

You're in a bad way.

He can't look a bottle of milk in the face anymore.

They're trying to graduate him to horses.

Calendar... seems like a good way to break in.

Might try it myself.

Just go see Mr. Ward.

He's the president of Calendars, Incorporated.

Maybe he'll give you a job.

But I don't know him.

Oh.

Well, he does.

He'll take you down tomorrow and introduce you.

Thanks, Eddie!

You're a thoroughbred.

Don't forget to call Olivia.

I'll pay her a quick visit on the telephone,

and then we'll settle down to a life of art and fame.

Hello?

Hello, Olivia, how are you, darling?

I'm just fine, darling.

Uh, how long are you going to be in New York?

Don't sound so worried.

I'm going back to Boston tonight.

Oh, that's too bad.

Doesn't give me any time to see you.

You cam see me, Steve, night and day

for the rest of your life simply by going back

to Boston with me to our wedding.

Oh, but I can't, darling.

You know I want to, but I've got to have a trial by heart.

Don't play Rembrandt with me, Steve.

Rembrandt?

We've been through this artist thing

before... you had to go to Paris, remember?

When the girls caught on to you there, you had to go to London.

When the ladies there got your number

you came running back to Boston.

Oh, really, Livvy, that's not fair.

It certainly isn't.

And now it's Greenwich Village.

Well, this is the last time you're

going to break out the plow to sew your wild oats.

I'll be patient for three weeks, no more.

Paint fast, young man.

But three weeks is all... three weeks is all I'll need.

Three weeks is all you'll get.

Come back to Boston to be a banker and a husband.

Shall we have team.

Well, I'm pretty busy.

If you'd rather not.

Oh, sure, sure, Livvy I'll meet you for tea.

Four o'clock at Rector's?

Four o'clock.

You're the most wonderful girl I've ever known.

I'd rather be the only one.

Goodbye.

Women.

That's what I said, women.

In her bonnet of blue what a picture she'd make.

No.

Play it.

In her bonnet of blue what a picture she made.

She was the belle of the bucket brigade.

Come in.

Hello, Pat.

Hello.

Hiya, Pat.

This is Johnny Bennett, Patricia O'Neill.

We just call her Pat.

We've already met in a way.

Lulu sent up some tea for you.

Oh boy!

Not for you, Byron.

This is strictly a Boston tea party.

Oh, I can take a hint.

A house doesn't have to fall on me.

Well, a house will if you don't hurry.

Tessie's waiting for you downstairs.

Oh.

Uh, where's, you know, the other one?

Steve?

He's not back yet.

Oh.

Well, you don't have to look so disappointed.

I'm not.

I didn't mean that.

Then you'll have tea with me.

I'd love to.

How do you like your tea?

Lemon and one sugar.

I saw you dance out there on the roof.

You were pretty good.

Thank you.

You were really wonderful.

Although I can't say things like that.

It makes me blush.

I'm a shy guy.

Where'd you learn to dance like that?

Oh, it was easy to dance to the music you were playing.

What was it?

One of my tunes.

It's beautiful.

It was the song I could never finish.

I was stuck with it until I saw you start to dance,

and then it just kind of flowed out like champagne.

You're about as shy as a brass band.

Oh, don't get me wrong.

I really am... what I mean is...

What you mean is you like me.

Well, that doesn't sound strong enough, but on account

of I'm shy, I'll settle for it.

Anyway, thanks a lot.

What for?

Well, for letting me in your life, for being here,

a part of Greenwich Village in New York.

What I can't figure out is how you

can like leaving a palatial mansion in Boston

and coming to a grubby place like Greenwich Village.

Wait a second, I think you've got something wrong.

I haven't any palatial mansion in Boston.

I haven't got but a dollar to my name.

Then it's Mr. Davis.

Oh, Steve.

Yeah, he's quite wealthy... banking family,

very sophisticated, been to Europe, London, Paris.

Don't you worry.

Some day when you've written your songs you'll be rich too.

I'm not worried.

I don't even care.

You don't care?

No.

Don't you want to be rich and famous?

Well, if it goes with being happy.

You see, all my life, ever since I was a kid,

I've been full of music.

Before I even knew what to do about it,

I had songs in my head.

I used to hear them playing at night

with a full orchestra when I'd go to sleep.

And even then with a kazoo or an ocarina, when I was old enough,

I'd play these tunes out until my mother

didn't know what to do with me.

Now, this is wonderful... a piano like this to play to my heart's

content, to write out some of these melodies that

have been inside me.

I could sit here and touch these ivory keys,

look up at the stars at night through this window,

and they'll become my orchestra, playing with me... with all

the strings and horns and harps of heaven joined

in a strange, wonderful symphony.

That's beautiful, Mr. Bennett.

You're beautiful, Pat.

Thank you.

Call me Johnny.

I was just going to.

Do you know what's happened to me since I saw you?

What?

Pulse fast, lump in the throat, hot and cold flashes.

Maybe you've got the measles.

Yeah, maybe I...

Yes?

Say, I've got to write a jingle for the party tonight.

Byron likes these lyrics, will you help me with it?

Sure I will.

We've got to impress Dilly.

I met an old flame at the Fireman's Ball.

How does it go?

Well, that's what I want to know.

Like this.

That's good.

Do it again.

Oh, I met an old dame at the Fireman's Ball.

She was so charming, so dainty and small,

by the old hook and ladder she hooked me right in.

I felt her mischief begin.

When she gave me the eye how the sparks began to fly.

Now my heart is on fire.

When she's in my arms I can hear nothing but fire alarms,

and it's thrilling to think she was willing to fall

that night at the Fireman's Ball.

In her bonnet of blue what a picture she made.

She was the belle of the bucket brigade.

And she looked so demure by the old fire hose

I simply had to propose.

How my heart seems to pound as I waltzed around and round.

By the fifth time I kissed her, I heard people call...

Why don't you two go and hire a hall?

So we left for Niagara that very same

night after the Fireman's Ball.

In his bright red suspenders he said,

oh, you kid.

What did I do?

Well, you know what I did.

I fell hook, line, and sinker for that so-and-so.

How was a young girl to know?

Oh, I thought he was too-loo-too-loo with

his what he's free to do.

He gave me the hot foot, and I should have learned.

I played with fire, and boy I got burned.

But if you want the truth on my knees

I would crawl back to the Fireman's Ball.

There was Patsy,

Old' Marie,

O'Toole.

All of them trying to win her away.

But those visiting firemen hadn't a chance.

She never gave them a glance.

She had eyes just for me.

Just the way it ought to be.

Oh the mercies of heaven above.

Honest American men.

The guy who walked off with the belle

of the ball down at the Fireman's Ball.

Whoa.

It never ever would have happen if she

hadn't happened to be standing there.

She was such a lovely creature I could

see just such a lovely love affair.

Then the band began to play the melody, I said,

would you consider dancing with me.

She was all a-twitter, but he didn't disagree.

How my heart seemed to pound.

As I waltzed around and 'round.

Then I slipped a ring upon her finger and we

went to linger underneath the moon.

I could see that we were heading for an early wedding

in the month of June.

They'll have a lot of little places.

We'll be singing praises as we bring them all.

Back to the Fireman's Ball.

Back to the Fireman's Ball.

Very good, Lulu.

Very good indeed.

Didn't I tell you I met some interesting folk today?

Uh, that one there, the one with the little, blue hat.

Patricia, you mean.

She's very attractive.

I'll have to keep my eyes on her.

You better keep your eyes off her,

or else I'll knock them out of their sockets.

And what business is it of yours, may I ask?

That colleen happens to be my daughter.

That's what business it is.

If I catch you filling her foolish head

with foolish notions...

Are you implying that I...

No, no, Dilly.

He means the theater.

Well, what's foolish about the theater?

The theater, huh?

Why, that's only for show-offs and brazen women,

and no decent place for any self-respecting man or woman.

I'm in the theater, Matt.

Ah, but... but you're the exception.

But I still say...

Oh, you say.

You say.

And I suppose it's better for the self-respecting

to sit around a fire station all day,

just waiting for an alarm to ring... just sitting there

hoping that somebody's house will be burned down,

and then licking your chops that somebody's going to be

toasted rare, medium, or well-done.

Hey man, I save lives.

And we in the theater save souls.

Boys, boys, boys, don't spoil your appetite.

Look the food is coming.

And for you, Matt, darling, corned beef and cabbage.

Corned beef and... oh my dear.

Oh my word.

What an awful combination.

Oh, Dilly, darling, try it just once.

I wouldn't mind trying it once, but it keeps repeating itself.

All right, boys.

So how do you like New York?

Not as much as Boston.

Oh, is that so?

Well, you have no Statue of Liberty.

No, but we have the cradle of liberty... Faneuil Hall.

Ah, you have no palisades.

Bunker Hill.

Trinity Church.

Old North Church.

Grant's Tomb.

Paul Revere.

You win.

You forgot the one natural beauty

that makes Boston a wilderness and New York a shining city.

And what's that?

You.

New York is a nice place to visit.

Yes, it has quite a future they say.

It's Fifth Avenue, Mr. Chauncey Depew...

And the street that is known as Broadway.

New York has a glamour.

What is it that makes every stranger so gay?

New York is a nice place to visit.

But it's also a nice place to stay.

New York has its own bonnie pastures

where Astors and Vanderbilts call.

It's got diamonds,

and gravy and roast beef all day.

It's even got Carnegie Hall.

It's dowdy and bawdy and gaudy.

And people from Brooklyn may say.

New York is a nice place to visit.

But we say it's a nice place to stay.

New York is a nice place to visit,

but we say is a nice place to stay.

Oh, darling, I want you to meet Mr. Dillingsworth.

Dilly, this is the young man I was telling you about... the one

Professor Garabaldi sent down from Boston.

Mr. Bennett, Mr. Dillingsworth.

Glad to know you, Mr. Bennet.

Glad to know you, sir.

He's a composer, darling... a pupil

of Garabaldi's who's very promising.

I want you to listen to his tune.

Young man, it was nice knowing you.

Good night.

Oh, he'll listen to your tunes, darling.

Really, Lulu?

Tunes, darling.

Tunes.

What's wrong with tunes?

They give me dyspepsia.

"Babes in Toyland" didn't give you dyspepsia.

Oh, but that was Victor Herbert.

His music is immortal.

And profitable.

Mr. Dillingsworth...

Young man, young man, I'll give you some advice for free.

Yes, sir?

Stop writing tunes.

Go back to your first love... driving a beer wagon, or bank

clerking, or whatever it was, and live out your life happily.

And if I don't?

Then poor Dilly will just have to listen to your tunes.

Very well, Mr. Bennett, when you have a score...

a complete score... I'll do you the honor of listening to it.

I'll try and give you the pleasure of hearing it, sir.

Now that I've had a sample, how about each and every dance?

Do you always sample everything first?

I'd like to sample crepe Suzettes

with you alone at Maxine's.

You'll be too busy painting.

Every artist has to have his inspiration.

Da Vinci had his Mona Lisa, Goya his Duchess.

And Whistler his mother.

Seriously, Pat, you're just the model I want.

The moment I saw you dancing on the roof

I knew I had to paint you.

Uh, you haven't met my father.

I don't want him to pose.

Well, he doesn't want me to pose.

If he heard you asking, he'd knock your block off.

Listen, Pat, Eddie tells me that his calendar company

is having a contest... a calendar contest.

Calendars?

Sure, they want something new, something fresh,

something different.

And there's a $500 prize for the best picture.

500 smackers?

Pose for me, and if I win, it's all yours.

500... gee, I could get Pop that sterling silver

speaking trumpet he's wanted so long.

Then you'll do it?

Uh-huh.

But mum is the word.

Byron?

Mm-hmm?

If you don't hold me closer, I'll

get hoarse shouting all the way over there to you.

Oh, I can hear you fine.

Byron, you're so cold.

I am?

Hold me tighter.

Like this.

Please!

Not in public, Tessie!

Everybody here got their tickets for the jamboree?

What jamboree?

You mean you haven't heard about the fireman's benefit

jamboree at the Swiss Garden the night of June the 30th?

No.

Beer, Dutch lunch, maybe a moonlight stroll with

your best girl, or somebody else's.

I'll take two.

Two girls?

No, two ticket.

How much are they?

A buck each.

I'm a little short.

I'll take one now and pick the other one up later.

Sure, sure.

Shall we dance, my dear?

I'm warning you.

Keep that silly Dilly away from me daughter.

Do you want her to be an ignorant Irishman

like yourself?

Well, that's better than being no Irishman at all.

Oh, Matt, she needs grooming.

You can't grow her up to be a fire chief.

Matt, he's here.

Who's here?

Old Smothers brought himself, Fullham, and Olsen,

What?!

Now Matt, take it easy.

Olsen, you spying snake, what are you doing here?

Good evening, Mr. O'Neill.

I just dropped by to vish you.

"Vish" me bad, well the same to you.

And if you were as good at fighting fires

as you are at passing insults, you'd

be the battalion chief by now.

Now, now, O'Neill, you'll get a stroke.

Men your age shouldn't get so excited.

You know I can not be battalion chief until my engine company

number 18 wins the efficiency trophy.

Oh get out of here, and stop spying

on better engine companies than your own miserable crew

of arsonists.

As a matter of fact, is your company, O'Neill... you

and I may be tied on our efficiency record?

So?

I thought, if you'd have it, we might just settle the issue

at the jamboree with a contest.

Contest?

Why, I'll wrestle you.

I'll fight you.

I'll drink you under the table or anything else

you like to name.

A tug of war, maybe.

Tug of war, is it?

Well, how can you tug of war at the jamboree?

Well, why not?

But, do you mean on the dance floor of the Swiss Gardens?

We use their regulation sneakers.

Oh, sneakers is it?

Did you hear that men?

A tug of war, he says.

Agreed, Olsen.

Agreed.

And we'll pull your scrawny little team,

clean over into the East River.

Tug of war... and Engine Company 24 the champions of the city.

Why it's crazy.

It's crazy.

I smell a rat, Matthew.

You do?

Well, he's not a very smart one.

Let's see, uh, I'm in love with a calendar

girl every day of ev... every day of every month of every year.

If you want to buy your dad that silver trumpet,

you'd better sit still.

Da-da-da- dee-dee-dee-I love you.

Have I told you lately I love you?

Beautiful.

Yeah, that'll work.

Let's have some pretzels and beer.

Strike up a song of good cheer, when the glasses are clinking

the... what rhymes with clinking?

Uh, winking.

Winking.

When the star eye is winking and clinking and...

There.

What do you think of it?

I think it's just beautiful, Steve.

Boy, if it's pretty paintings they want on their calendars,

that's it.

That's great, Steve. That's great.

If I had more time, I'd rave about it.

But I've got an appointment with Mr. Charles Dillingsworth

to play my score.

For the love of Mike, Byron, where's the roll?

Underneath your arm.

Don't be so nervous.

Oh, we've got to hurry or we'll never make it.

Oh, Pat?

Yes, Johnny?

Aren't you going to wish me good luck?

You bet I am.

Oh!

I gotta get my hat.

I'll meet you outside.

This is better than wishing you good luck, Johnny.

It's my Saint Cecilia medal.

Thanks, Pat.

I can't lose now.

Johnny, Johnny, go on.

Go on!

You're late now.

Goodbye, Pat.

Bye, Johnny.

And now, what are you going to give me for good luck?

Golly, Steve, I don't know.

I'll tell you what.

What?

Celebrate the finishing of the picture with me.

When?

Tonight.

Bryson Weber's... champagne caviar,

lobster, and you and me.

But tonight's the firemen's jamboree at the Swiss Gardens.

Anybody taking you?

Well, not exactly, I think Johnny said...

Then you're going with me.

Patricia!

Coming, Lulu.

Your father's lunch is ready.

Oh my gosh, Pop's lunch.

I almost forgot.

He'll be such.

Goodbye, Steve.

See you tonight.

Hello, Eddie.

Did you finish the horse?

You're in a rut, kid.

Come on, tell me what you think of mine.

There you are.

Don't like my masterpiece, eh?

Old stuff, eh?

Nothing unusual, nothing different.

To tell you the truth, old Eddie, old boy,

I haven't quite finished this little job as yet.

I still have, shall we say, some unusual touches to put into it.

You know what the Italian people said... something different,

something daring, something that makes the people's eyes pop.

Hi, kid, did you see Dilly?

Yeah, after a five-hour wait.

How'd it go?

I don't know.

He just kept swallowing pills.

He didn't say.

How about you?

Oh, the calendar's been submitted.

It's gone in.

What are you all dressed up for?

I, my boy, am going out.

Where?

On the town... an hour at the Swiss Gardens, then carriages,

Churchill's, I'm going to show her all of them.

Olivia, you mean?

Olivia I don't mean.

I'm presenting Miss Patricia O'Neill to New York

in a champagne night to celebrate

the finishing of my picture.

Who knows what wonderful things may happen.

To Pat or to the picture?

Both.

I'd love to have you along John, boy, but you

know the old adage... two's company,

and three isn't even a quartet.

Wait a second.

What?

Steve, I don't like this.

Write a letter to The Time.

Well, that's not funny.

Pat's a nice girl... a very nice girl.

To put it mildly, she's a dish.

But she needs to be told about life.

She needs to be told about Olivia.

You better keep your nose out of my business.

Yeah, but Pat is my business, and I don't like you going out

with her when you're engaged to Olivia.

Johnny, how could you think... Look

a fella can change his mind.

It would be better if you made up your mind.

You wouldn't be jealous, would you?

You bet I would.

Too bad, too bad.

Isn't it a shame that Pat prefers me.

You know, I'd make any sacrifice for you, but c'est la vie,

c'est la guerre.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be walking alone.

Alone?

Or may I go with you, Steve?

Ha ha, Olivia... I'm glad to see you!

Hello, Johnny, you seem to be happier to see me

than Steve is.

I was never so glad to see anybody in my life.

Thank you.

I hope I haven't interrupted any important plans, Johnny.

Who me?

I'm delighted you came, darling.

Here I was going out all alone, and you arrived.

Won't you join us, Johnny?

I'd love to.

Oh no, no.

He can't I mean, he has a date.

You're going out with Pat, aren't you Johnny?

Huh?

You're going out with Pat to the jamboree.

Oh, Pat, boy we have a date.

We were supposed to go... we're probably going to...

The Swiss Gardens.

Uh, yeah, I think that's what she said.

Oh I almost forgot to give you the $5 I owe you.

Well, I'm sure Pat's waiting for you, isn't she Johnny?

Oh sure, I'm sure she's waiting.

You'll excuse me, Olivia?

Oh, yes, Johnny.

Have a good time.

We always have a good time.

Goodbye, Johnny.

Shall we go see if we have my aunt's carriage?

Oh, that's wonderful, simply wonderful, darling.

So good to see you again, and what a surprise.

Why didn't you let me know you were coming?

I prefer to steal up on my prey and catch

the critter dead to rights.

What do you mean, Livvy?

I think you know what I mean.

Where are you taking me?

Delmonico's

I want to be Bohemian, let's go to the place

where Johnny's going.

Oh no!

Johnny might be embarrassed.

Johnny or you?

Well, what have I got to do with it?

Who is this girl Pat?

Patricia O'Neill.

What's she like?

Well, she's... she's not your type, naturally.

She's just a...

An ordinary girl?

Well, yes.

She's...

The quiet type?

Not exactly.

But, uh...

Beautiful?

Not exactly.

But, uh...

Talented, perhaps?

Not exactly.

But, uh...

What does she do?

Well, she... she's just a girl!

An artist's model, maybe?

She has been posing lately.

Not for you by any chance?

Well, yes.

Oh, I'm most anxious to meet her.

I don't remember where Johnny went.

There are 100 beer gardens in New York.

Oh, I do... the Swiss Gardens.

Let's have some porridge and

Yeah, sure.

Everybody having good time.

There's O'Neill.

You better go easy on that beer, O'Neill.

Go away, you little pipsqueak, or I'll me stein.

And don't... Good luck.

He's right about that beer, Matt.

You may have a tug of war tonight.

I can drink a barrel of beer and still pull

the little squarehead and the whole of his company right

off their legs with one hand.

But Johnny, I still don't understand

what happened to Steve.

In a minute you're going to hurt my feelings.

Well that would be very silly of you.

I can't think of anyone I'd rather be with than you,

but I still don't see why he didn't...

Oh, well I'm a lucky guy, Pat.

You see, a friend blew in from Boston, and Steve had to,

well, you know.

It was very nice if you to take me instead.

Oh, I didn't want to.

I fought against the whole thing.

Steve, I said, now why should I take out the most beautiful,

the most wonderful girl in New York, when I could stay home

alone in the attic and play dominoes.

I finally I gave in.

Waiter.

Pat, Johnny!

Gosh, are you a surprise?

For the love of Mike.

Hello, everybody.

Hello.

I work here too.

There goes my tips.

So this is where you learned to rhyme beer with cheer.

What are you doing here?

Verse has gone from bad to worse.

So you're a waiter?

Yeah, Tessie's a pretzel girl... just

for a couple hours at night.

A fella has to live, you know?

Not bad.

Pay and tips.

Picking up a story once in a while.

Will there be beer?

Yeah, I'll have a beer.

Make mine a ginger beer.

OK.

But Byron, put it in a real beer stein, you know?

And don't go away.

I got a surprise for you.

Well, come on, Tessie.

What do you suppose he's up to?

No telling.

Have I told you lately I love you?

Have I told you I care?

That's one of your songs!

Byron's not only a waiter, he's a song plugger.

I may be blinded by all of your charms,

grow absentminded when you're in my arms.

Have I told you lately you thrill me?

Have I overlooked it somehow?

Have I told you lately I love you?

If I haven't I'm telling you now.

Have I told you lately I love you?

Have I told you lately I care?

I may be blinded by all of your charms,

grow absentminded when you're in my arms.

Have I told you lately you thrill me?

Have I overlooked it somehow?

Have I told you lately I love you?

If I haven't, I'm telling you now.

Have I told you lately I love you?

Have I told you lately I care?

I may be blinded by all of your charms,

grow absentminded when your in my arms.

Have I told you lately you thrill me?

Have I overlooked it somehow?

Have I told you lately I love you?

If I haven't, I'm telling you now.

Olivia!

For gosh sakes, what are you doing here?

Steve!

Hello, Pat.

Uh, Olivia Radford, Patricia O'Neill.

How do you do?

Hello.

Do you mind if we join you?

Oh no, please do.

Yes, please do.

Thank you, Johnny.

Miss Radford is from Boston.

Oh really?

You're sure you don't mind our joining you?

Oh, of course not.

We're glad to have you.

What a surprise, huh, Pat?

Yes, I should say so.

Steve, she's really beautiful, you didn't do her justice.

My dear, you've been underestimated.

Sometimes I think men don't like women.

Maybe I'm not their type.

I'm sure you're Steve's type.

How about a beer?

Would you have a beer?

I'll have a beer, please.

Olivia?

I'll have a ginger beer and a dance with Johnny.

I only handle the refreshment side, lady.

You'll have to make the other arrangements yourself.

Come on, Johnny, darling?

Who me?

Yes, I want to speak to you alone.

Excuse me.

Say what's the idea of nailing me?

Am I that hard to take?

Not at all.

You're already taken.

What about that girl Pat?

Isn't she wonderful?

That's what I'm afraid of.

Remember, Livvy, you used to tell me

that some day when the right girl'd come along I'd

start sending up skyrockets and get absentminded?

I remember.

Well, last night I put out the clock and wound up the cat.

Don't tell me that for once in his life Steve told the truth.

If he said I was stuck on Pat, he sure did.

Oh, Johnny, that's grand.

I'm so happy for you.

You don't know how happy it makes me.

Your lady friend from Boston certainly

doesn't let any dust settle on her feet.

Oh, Olivia has always rather had her own way.

Is Johnny part of her own way?

I don't know what you mean.

How long has he known her?

Oh, they're old, old friends.

What kind of friends.

Well, you know.

You men.

You needn't cover up for him.

Some men just like to play the field.

Oh, now look here.

I didn't say...

She's very beautiful, isn't she?

Yes.

Takes after my mother's side, I'd say.

Your mother's?

Are you related?

Cousins.

Oh, but don't mention it.

We never talked about it.

It's a tiresome idea.

But I thought... Steve, I have a confession to make.

I thought you stood me up.

Why I wouldn't do anything like that to you.

I just had to... you know.

Yes, I know.

Relatives.

It's a lovely night to go dancing.

Why waste it?

It's a lovely night for a moonlight stroll.

Come on.

Well, isn't this much nicer than dancing...

moonlight and the girl you love.

Johnny says you go for the girls,

and the girls sure go for you.

All the girls in my life for you,

and all nights for tonight.

You kissed the Blarney Stone.

But it really is a lovely night.

This was meant to be our night, until it got spoiled.

If only Olivia hadn't come.

Johnny was glad enough to see her.

Anyway you and I will have another lovely night together,

just the two of us, without anyone spoiling it,

and only the stars for company.

Please don't.

Pat, this is the only moment of our evening.

Don't waste it.

I give you the mayor of New York City.

Hey, wait a second.

It's the mayor.

Well, what do you care about the mayor?

But it's the duty of every city-wide citizen

to listen to the mayor.

Besides, there's an election coming.

But women can't vote.

...to be here with you tonight,

in the intrepid company.

Steve.

Oh, hello, Livvy.

I've changed my mind.

We're going to Delmonico's.

Oh, but we can't just walk out on the mayor.

He isn't the mayor of Boston.

Good night.

Good night, Livvy.

The fine records of two fire companies.

There's something wrong.

I can feel it in me feet.

Number 24, under Foreman O'Neill and Number 18

under Foreman Olsen are so matched that we could not

pick either one to win the efficiency trophy.

So we shall let Foreman O'Neill and Foreman Olsen settle it

between themselves by tossing a coin.

Do you have a coin?

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

If you gentleman will step forward, please.

Wait a second, your honor.

Tossing the coin is not a content, just luck.

We've agreed to settle it by tug of war, your honor.

Done.

Square away your teams.

My mistake.

All right, coats off, boys.

Good luck, Pop.

Know anybody who wants to bet against your dad?

Loves me.

Loves me not.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

Can't a guy make up his mind?

That's what I want to know.

He love me.

He loves me not.

He loves me.

Oh, Byron!

It took you so long to make up your mind.

Hey, take it easy.

When I'm with you, I get feeling all peculiar.

My hearts starts pounding, and my pulse runs wild,

and my blood runs hot, and I get feverish.

Gee, you ought to see a doctor.

And then I start to tingle, and I have bells in my ears.

Fire bells?

Wedding bells for you and for me.

Oh Byron, I thought you'd never ask me.

He's forgotten 24 Company has never lost a tug of war

since I been foreman.

Hey, look!

Come on, you fellas, take

Who wants to

Hey, wait a minute.

Who are these three elephants?

You mean Jorden, Jadsen, and Jorgenson?

I don't care how you "jorn" them.

They're ringers.

Regular, signed-up members of my company.

Since when?

Since yesterday.

Commisioner, I object!

I'm sorry O'Neill, but they have passed all tests.

All right.

Right.

The first team to pull that handkerchief to its own marker

wins.

Get really.

Go!

Oh, there goes me $166.

Oh, father, father, you won!

The winner and our next battalion

chief, Foreman Matt O'Neill.

Congratulate me Olsen.

The best man one.

Best man my foot.

Just remember my first piece of business as battalion chief,

I want to see those three elephants go

up and down the extension ladder.

Beer for everybody!

Come on!

Byron!

What happened to you?

We're engaged.

Well, congratulations.

Well, I must be leaving you now.

Oh, but it's so cool and lovely on the terrace.

Let's sit above it.

Ah, but it's past me bedtime.

I'm beginning to think you don't like me, Matt.

Oh, why would you be saying that?

Well, why did you have to drag me home and away from the party

so early.

Me feet was killing me, Lulu.

Are you saying that you're getting too old for parties?

I never said anything of the kind.

I just said me feet hurt me, that's all.

And I was about to say goodnight to you.

You know, I've had such a lovely time at the party

that you can kiss me goodnight.

Come on, right here, hm?

Well maybe it is just as well that we came home.

Give Pat a chance to get out from under your eagle eye.

Yes.

Good night.

What did you say?

You know, it's quite possible that one of these days Patricia

is going to get married.

She is not.

Matthew, you may as well get used to the fact

that you may lose Pat.

Lose her?

Over me dead body.

You're dead body won't help if she's in love.

Love.

That's a lot of nonsense.

I'd like to see the scallywag that

would put such a silly idea into her head.

I'd knock the stuffing out of him.

You couldn't knock the stuffing out of love.

Oh, don't be saying that Lulu.

She wouldn't do that.

She wouldn't do that and leave her poor old father alone.

You wouldn't have to be left along, Matt.

Oh no you don't, you scheming female and your pitfalls.

You're a wanton women.

You don't catch me falling into your clutches.

Have you no shame?

Well, you sprung your trap, but I'm not in it.

Then I'll just have to set my trap again.

Lovely night to go dancing.

Lovely night to dance with you.

Seems to me I hear music.

Is it music, or is it my heart that's singing?

Time is right for romancing.

Starry light shines above.

Lovely night to go dancing, but it's

a much better night to fall in love.

You seem to be very happy.

I am happy.

Why not?

Yes, why not?

Thank you very much for a very lovely evening, and good night.

Wait a minute, what's your hurry?

It's getting late.

Oh, it's only 12:30.

I don't know about you, but I had a wonderful time.

I could see that you did?

Well, didn't you?

Yes.

Miss Radford is very charming.

Oh, Olivia, she's wonderful Salt of the earth.

Oh?

As a matter of fact, I don't know a finer girl in the world

than Olivia, except you.

It's very nice of you to say so.

Is something wrong, Pat?

No, nothing's wrong.

Nothing at all.

Oh, god.

Well, let's go out again tomorrow night.

I have a previous engagement.

Well, how about the next night, and we'll

go to the nickelodeon.

Well.

Well what?

Well, all right, only...

Only what?

Wouldn't you rather take Olivia.

Gosh, no.

Olivia's not exactly the Nickelodeon type.

Well, of all the nerve.

Patricia O'Neill!

If you don't stop that

and come up to your bed, I'll come down there

and take my fists to that young welp.

Oh my gosh.

Good night.

Good night, Pat.

Have I told you lately I love you?

Hello, Lulu.

What are you doing out here?

Oh, I came out to watch the stars,

but I see they're in your eyes.

What'd you say?

Oh, I was just thinking how wonderful it would

be to be young again, and in love, and in trouble.

In trouble?

They're the same thing, you know.

Well, I'm not in trouble, but I am in love.

Have you asked her yet?

Told her, you mean?

Well, no, you usually ask a young lady to marry you, John.

Oh.

I didn't.

I mean, how could I?

I'm broke.

I couldn't afford it.

Two can live as cheaply as one if they're in love

and if they live in my house.

Yeah, but I haven't anything to offer.

I think she'd marry you

if she's in love, as you said.

That's all.

That's all that matters.

Yeah, well I don't know, though, Lulu.

If I were you, I wouldn't let any grass grow under my feet.

Somebody might beat you to it.

Now what if you're wrong?

My dear boy, I may always be right, but I'm never wrong.

All right, I'll do it.

I'll ask her at the nickelodeon.

Good.

Good night, Cupid.

Johnny, is my bow and arrow showing again?

Sure, whatever you say.

Eddie!

What's the matter?

What happened!

Jehoshaphat!

Go tell Pat.

Goodbye!

Lulu!

Whoo!

Good heaven and earth!

Hey!

Happy New Year!

Hey Steve!

Hey Johnny!

Hey Byron!

Oh, that's me!

Somebody!

Everybody!

Look!

Read!

Yahoo!

I got to go tell Tessie!

Johnny!

Johnny, I won.

What?

You are talking with the Da Vinci of Lulu's.

The content.

Sure, I won the calendar contest.

Look at it $500.

Congratulations, Steve.

The rich are getting richer all the time.

Just think of it.

My calendar girl will be hanging all over the country.

You tell Pat yet?

Oh, I forgot.

That's her check.

Pat!

Here I am.

Hello, Johnny.

I just heard Isn't it wonderful?

You bet it is, and that's not all.

I'm going to introduce New York to its new calendar girl...

Rector's, Churchill, Pastor's, Delmonico's... we'll blaze

a lobster trail up and down Broadway.

I've always wanted to go to all those wonderful places.

Oh, oh...

What's the matter?

Oh, I'm sorry, Steve.

I forgot Johnny and I have a date tonight.

What kind of a date?

What are you going to do?

Oh, wasn't anything.

We were just going to the nickelodeon.

Those tintype flickers will make you dizzy.

They're ruin your eyes.

Let's all go on the town together, make it a threesome.

We ought to have a celebration.

Sure, how's about it John, boy?

Well, if Pat would rather.

I would.

Fine.

Then we'll start at 8.

Pop's on night-duty at the station

so we can really have a row.

Oh golly, I've got lots to do.

I'd better get ready.

Shall I dress up?

Of course.

You'll be the belle of the town, Pat.

From now on you have something to live up to.

You'll have your picture in every house in the land.

Oh, and here's the check.

It's all yours.

A solid, silver, trumpet.

Gee, Pop will be thrilled.

See you later.

Are you ready my friend?

Gee, Steve, you look terrific.

Always terrific, son.

Always the epitome.

Let's roll.

Oh, wait a second.

I feel kind of... maybe I'm not dressed well enough.

That's your best suit, isn't it?

Yeah, it's the only suit I got.

Well, that's all right, kid.

Let's go.

The carriage I ordered is probably waiting.

I want to stop off and pick up orchids for the lady.

Carriage?

You got orchids?

Nothing but the best for Patricia tonight.

Steve, I'm not going.

What?

You two go ahead without me.

Oh, come on Johnny.

We can squeeze you by the maitre d's.

We can take a corner table.

I'm not going.

You and Pat go and have a fine time.

Well, what will I tell her?

Tell her... tell her I had to wait.

I was expecting a phone call or anything.

A phone call.

All right.

I'll tell her.

Steve.

Yeah?

Look Steve, don't ever do anything to hurt her.

I never hurt 'em, kid.

I just stun 'em.

Oh, Lulu.

Johnny, are you all right?

Sure, I'm all right.

What's the matter?

Oh, I was just worried about you,

Well, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to keep you awake.

Well, that didn't matter.

Are you worrying about Pat?

Well, aren't you?

No, of course not.

You can't blame a girl her age for wanting

the excitement, the glamor.

Doesn't mean a thing.

Well, it does to me.

Johnny, you trust Pat, don't you?

Of course I do, but I don't trust Steve.

Go to bed and stop your fretting.

You're acting like a little boy.

Everything's going to be all right, Johnny.

Believe me.

Good night, boy.

Good night, Lulu.

Thanks.

Water, water everywhere, but not a drop of champagne left.

I just love champagne.

Don't you Steve?

Don't you just love champagne?

I just love you, Pat.

You and champagne.

Do you love me first and champagne second,

or do you love champagne second and me first?

That's not right.

Let's see.

Do you love cham...

You're wonderful Pat.

You kissed me.

No fair kissing a girl when she's

trying to find out about me and champagne.

I just love champagne, especially when I'm thirsty.

You know how I feel about you?

Do you love me first, or do you love champagne?

I adore you.

That's fine.

That settles it.

Johnny doesn't adore me.

Johnny only adores telephone calls from Boston.

Let's get away from all of this.

You've been every place, haven't you Steve?

You've traveled all over the place.

Yup.

Have you ever been to Niagara Falls?

Why, angel eyes?

I always wanted to go to Niagara Falls on my honeymoon.

Honeymoon?

What's it like, Steve?

What's Niagara Falls like?

As far as I'm concerned, it's just

a lot of water going over a cliff.

Is that so?

I want to go home.

No, no, no, no let's do the

No.

I said I want to go home, and when I say I want to go home

I go... Stop pushing.

She wants to go home.

Here you are, my friend.

Thank you, sir.

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Tomorrow...

Johnny! Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny!

What do you mean staying out so late.

I ought to spank you.

Cut it out, Steve.

You've got a lot of nerve keeping her out 'til this hour.

Look who's talking.

It's none of your business.

If your father was home, he's whip

the tar out of with a razor strap.

Wait a minute.

You can't talk to Pat like that.

That's right.

You can't talk to Pat like that.

I can't, huh?

Well, I happen to know...

Shut up.

You better run along like a good boy.

Take your hands off me, Steve.

She's a big girl now.

She's old enough to take care of herself.

I said take your hands off me.

Come on.

Johnny.

All right, Johnny, if that's the way you feel.

That's the way I feel.

Good night, Pat.

Wait a minute.

Get away from me and leave me alone.

I don't need you to help me.

You go help your old Olivia.

I can take care of myself, see?

You can take care of yourself like a baby

when it comes to guys like Steve.

You're just jealous of Steve.

Pat, there's something you've got to know.

You're jealous of his painting and winning

the prize and everything.

You're wrong, Pat.

I'm not jealous of anything except you.

Don't understand how I feel about you?

You're it.

You're the one.

You're the only thing in my life that means more to me

than even music.

And blimey.

Go tell it to Olivia.

Olivia?

What do you mean?

Olivia doesn't mean anything to me.

Next thing you'll tell me you don't even know her.

Of course I know her, but only as a friend.

It's just that, well, Steve...

Oh, I see.

Now she's Steve's girl.

Well, she is Steve's girl.

You contemptible... get away from me and leave me alone.

Get out of here.

Get out.

I never want to see you again.

Fine.

If that's the way you want it, Pat.

Johnny.

Johnny.

Hey, Johnny!

Heya Butch!

Did you see the calendar girl?

No!

She hasn't much modesty, has she?

Perfectly shocking.

Some figure.

And she doesn't mind showing it.

What will women think of next?

Oh, that's me!

Hey, calendar girl!

Oh, you beautiful doll!

Mama buy me that.

Hey fellas, look.

It's the calendar girl.

Anytime you want to get off that calendar,

I'll show you a real date.

Are there any more at home like you?

I love my wife, but

The shameful thing shame of it.

O'Neill's daughter making a public spectacle of yourself.

Oh, Pop, I didn't.

Posing like a hussy with next to no clothes on.

I didn't.

I didn't pose like that at all.

Steve changed the picture after it was finished.

Oh, it was Steve, was it?

Oh, Pop, I only did it so I could

win the prize money for you.

I wanted to get you this.

Well, well, Oh, that

was a sweet thing for you to do, Patsy.

And I believe what you did was done in innocence.

But as for that Steve fellow, that double-crossing worthless

young no-good, preying on a maiden's innocence,

I'll beat him within an inch of his life.

Oh, Pop, please.

Pop don't do it.

Perfectly beautiful.

Beautiful.

What happened?

It's Pop.

He's on his way over here.

Why?

The calendar.

Calendar indeed.

How can he get excited over a calendar

when he doesn't even know what month it is.

He's going to beat up on Steve.

But why?

It's a perfectly beautiful calendar.

It brings out your personality charmingly.

Most charmingly, my dear.

That's why I'm here.

You know what I'm going to do?

Please, Lulu, help me.

I will dear.

Come on.

Tell Steve to hide.

I'll try to stop your father.

All right.

I must say, darling, I was honestly

overwhelmed when I saw your art.

Didn't think I could do it, eh?

I'm the hottest thing on canvas in this town right now.

On calendars you mean.

The time is up, you know Steve.

I expected you to return with me.

But if you'd rather paint...

Wait, Livvy I didn't say that.

Steve!

Hello.

Steve, you've got to get out of here.

Why?

The painting, the calendar, my father's on his way

up here to kill you.

What?

I couldn't help it, Steve, his temper is out of control.

You've got to hide someplace.

You ought to work things out better than that, Steve.

You've had enough experience by now.

This isn't funny, Olivia.

You don't know my Pop.

Steve will be luck if he can crawl out of here.

Matt.

Matthew O'Neill.

Turn yourself right around and march away from my house.

Out of my way.

Have you seen that calendar.

I have, and it's beautiful.

It's a disgrace and shameful.

Now just a minute.

Don't get so personal.

Suppose it wasn't your daughter.

That's a beautiful picture.

You uncultured old baboon, you don't know art when you see it.

It's a on me child, and she

posed within your house.

And I'm proud of it.

Are you just finding out your daughter has legs?

About time some artist did something about it.

Women do have legs, you know, and they're very beautiful.

Woman, you don't

And you're blind.

You don't know beauty when you see it.

Matthew, you get out of my house.

Woman step aside.

I'm going to murder him.

I'll call the police.

Well, call them.

I'm calling.

Eddie!

Hurry, hurry quick.

Go down into the kitchen.

Close the damper.

Make a lot of smoke down there.

Try to find something to burn in the stove.

Yes, yes.

Don't say anything.

Here he comes.

Go back.

But there's no place to hide in there.

You can always hid behind my skirt.

Go ahead.

I'll see if I can stop him.

Please, Pop, you don't understand.

It takes very little understanding.

Oh, wait a minute. There'll only be trouble.

Trouble?

There may be murder.

Step aside.

Listen to me.

There's something I have to tell you.

What is it?

We're engaged.

Bah.

Engaged?

You know, to be married.

What, you and Steve?

Yes.

Me funny little colleen, why didn't you tell your old daddy?

You didn't give me time.

Well, well, what do you know.

Me little girly.

We thought you might be angry.

Me angry?

Now how silly.

Have you ever seen me lose me temper.

Well, maybe it you is art.

You do kind of look like your mother a little.

He's a talented fellow, Steve is.

And I always wanted a son.

Well, I'll have to congratulate me prospective son-in-law.

Oh no, Pop.

Not now.

Now come along, you wouldn't have

him think we're snobs just because we're from New York,

and he's only from Boston.

Now come along now.

Engaged is it?

Why yes, this is my fiance Miss Radford.

What?

I'm afraid there must be some sort of mix up.

Nothing to what there's going to be.

Well.

Making a fool of me daughter, taking advantage

of her ignorance, the picture,

teasing with her affections.

You see now what a snake in the grass this snake

int the grass has turned out to be.

Indeed I do.

I'm teaching him...

That's 24.

I'll take care of you later.

Don't get scared.

It's just a trick of Lulu's.

I want to talk to you.

Are you crazy trying to kill us both?

Get out of here!

Don't try to save the day.

It's too late.

Don't you know the house is burning?

Where's the fire?

Down in the kitchen.

Oh no, no, not again.

Hold your arms.

Hold everything!

Oh, that woman.

Let me out of here!

It's all right, Eddie.

Let me out of here!

Why'd you tell me she was your cousin.

Cousin?

Oh really, Steve.

Isn't that going a bit too far?

I'm sorry, Pat.

You're sorry?

What have I done to Johnny?

You better get out of here before Pop comes.

How can get out without him seeing us?

Come on.

I'll show you.

This way, hurry up.

That, just go right through my room and downstairs,

and I hope you'll be very happy.

Oh, thank you so very much, Pat.

This way to Boston, Steve.

Yes, Livvy.

Patricia, I have wonderful news for you.

Yes?

No time to be crying.

I've decided to stage a musical comedy... "Calendar Girl."

And the real calendar girl is going to be in it, naturally.

Thank you.

And the score, Pat.

The score was written by a brilliant, young composer.

I can hear it now... opening night, curtain time.

The best people are waiting in the audience.

Only the best people.

The orchestra tunes up.

The conductor mounts the podium, takes out his baton,

and after an expectant hush...

I'm in love with a calendar girl every

day of every month of every year.

I go around with my head in a whirl

every time I see that lovely page appear.

I'm who she'll never know the joy she's giving.

I love her so.

She doesn't know I'm even living.

I'm in love, and I'm living for her and longing

to be my girl on the calendar.

Have I told you lately I love you?

Johnny.

Have I told you lately I care?

I may be blinded by all of your charms,

grow absentminded when you're in my arms.

Have I told you lately you thrill me?

Now then, you scallywag.

It's all right, Pop, we're engaged.

Engaged, is it?

Will you make up your mind?

...love you?

If I haven't, I'm telling you now.