Original subtitles

- Hi, Mr... - Zabek.

- Zabek. - Yeah, yeah.

- Find it all right? - Yes, I'm so sorry. I was...

No, don't worry. Traffic's murder around here.

- Find somewhere to park? - Yes, I did.

Well, take a look around.

- Yeah, it's erm... - It's quite a place, innit?

- Look at these two, eh? - Yes.

Oh, my... are they real?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'll say, yeah.

They're Indonesian.

Oh!

- Oh! - See, they're a couple.

They're a pair.

- Oh, yes. - Oh, yeah.

They come together.

If you know what I mean.

Yes.

The big ones have been known to eat sheep.

And they have eaten...

Kids.

How do they get them in their mouths?

Well, you know, they just open their mouth and...

Ugh!

Like lightning.

I just erm...

I have to admit, I'm really nervous.

Why are you doing it, then?

Oh, it's not for me. It's for my kid.

Oh... ok.

Obsessed, is he?

Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. They're like that, aren't they, the little boys?

They get obsessed with things.

They're obsessed with spiders and then lizards...

- Guns. - Guns, yeah. All that.

Here, look at this. What can you see in there?

That... is my big fat snake.

Oh, yes.

Looks quite slimy, doesn't it?

But it's not.

It's very smooth.

Do you want to touch it?

Ok.

Right.

Say hello...

To my little, fat, furry friend, Penelope.

Well, you see, my son's eight.

And... I think, really, he'd like something very special.

Well, I could show you my private collection.

If you like.

- Yes? - Yes, please.

Yes?

Come on.

Oop.

Ha-ha! Watch the maggots.

Eurgh. Horrible. Horrible little things.

What do you think?

I... I don't know what I'm looking for.

She's pregnant.

- Just like me. - Like you.

Beautiful. Eh?

Now, I can't let you hold her, but...

There's one down here...

Which you will be holding.

Where are you, you little bitch?

Come here.

Come and say hello.

- Come on. - Is she dangerous?

Yes.

Come on.

Where are you?

Come back over here.

Get on with it.

C h I ld: Listen, mummy.

That's how I was made.

You can forget about that ever happening again.

Selfish bastards.

No consideration.

We may as well not exist.

But shh. It's ok. I'm here.

I have mascara days like that.

Very smudged.

This is not gonna hurt one little bit.

- They said that last time. - Did they?

It did hurt and I had a massive bruise.

It was, like, here to about there.

- Oh, poor you. - Mm.

That's not very good, is it?

Probably not in control of their apparatus

like nurse Jennifer.

Lovely.

So, I managed to track down your records.

You're not very easy to track down.

I felt a little bit like Sherlock,

with you as like the disappearing woman.

Lady lucan, I think we'll call you from now on.

Yeah, can you just call me Ruth?

Yes, of course.

Ruth. So...

Did you know that if you hear a really high-pitched sound

later on in pregnancy,

you can just start spurting milk from your boobs?

Like two rockets. It's like boom, boom, pow!

It's quite magical.

Why are you telling me that?

Just so that you know you have absolutely no control

over your mind or your body any more.

This one does.

She's got all the control now.

She'll be coming.

Ok, so I didn't have much time with the notes.

Phyllis gave them to me this morning.

What does your partner do, Ruth?

I'm very sorry.

I didn't know. I wasn't aware.

Well, how would you know

cos you don't actually know me, do you?

It's very important to let the past stay in the past.

It's just nature's way.

I think nature's a bit of a cunt, though, don't you?

Negativity's not good for the baby's spirit, really.

- Do you think? - Yes.

I think it's good to try to stay positive.

And at the end of the day,

you've got this force of nature now inside you.

Baby knows what to do.

Baby will tell you what to do.

I think she already does.

Erm, it's just here.

J“ ides of march: Vehicle

scream if you want to go faster.

It's dj o'clock.

Child: Empty.

Dead. Like a graveyard.

J“ hey, well, I'm a friendly stranger in a black sedan...

Dj: The atmosphere in here tonight is electric!

Can I get a big "oi! Oi!"?

J“ ..To the nearest star

j“ I'm your vehicle, baby

j“ I'll take you anywhere you want to go

j“ I'm your vehicle, woman...

Guys, tickets are available for Halloween.

Raise your hand if you want one.

They're available at the bar.

J“ great god in heaven, you know I love you...

Any requests, come up to the booth.

I've got nearly every song.

J“ all right

j“ you know I love you and I need you

j“ I want you, got to have you, child

j“ great god in heaven, you know I love you

All right?

All right?

Do you want a drink?

- Eh? - Do you want a drink?

No, I'm all right. I don't drink on Tuesdays.

You don't drink on a Tuesday?

- No. - Why?

I have a code. And I don't drink when I'm up there.

- You know? - Are you a pussy?

- What? - Are you a pussy?

Oh, Jesus Christ, if it will shut you up.

- Yolo. - What?

- Yolo. - What's that mean?

You only live once.

That's actually something I always say to people.

- Really? - Yeah. It's a motto of mine.

- So I'll drink to that. - Yolo.

Actually tasted like water.

Do you want another one?

- You trying to get me drunk? - Yeah.

You're a bit forward, ain't you?

Some might say.

All right, I'm gonna just lay my cards on the table here

cos I don't want to lead you up the garden path.

But... I'm not after a relationship.

I'm not after any sort of girlfriend.

I don't want any baggage to carry round with me.

I'm sort of a bit too young for all that sort of stuff.

You know? I'm still playing the game.

I'm still, you know, a weekend warrior.

If you're after something more serious

because your body clock's clicking on,

then it ain't me, I don't want any part of that.

- You couldn't be more wrong. - Really?

We're the same.

You don't know anything about me.

I know enough. I've been watching you.

- Oh, have you? - Yeah.

- What do you see? - I like what I see.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

John, can I get another? Tell you what, let's get four.

Couple of shots there, girls?

I want to get them girls a drink as well, you know.

Just sort of...

Just so I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket.

Girls, come on.

That's it. Lovely. Look at that.

One, two, three, here we go...

That was nice, wasn't it?

Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry.

Fucking hell.

What's wrong with them?

They're both pretty. I mean, prettiest girls in here.

But neither of them want to, you know...

They've just got, like, no banter, have they?

They don't know what they're missing out on.

Yeah, I mean, I was thinking that in my own head.

Yeah, I mean, I love your music.

Do you? You like '703 music, then?

I love '70s, '80s...

Do you? It's my favourite too.

'70s is where my heart is, you know.

Do you know what I really admire about you?

Go on.

You know your onions.

Well, that's a really nice thing for you to say.

I thought you were going to say something about my clothes

or my face or something.

You look a bit familiar. You from around here?

- No, no. - Met you before?

Don't think so. I'd have remembered.

- Shall we get another drink? - Yeah. No, that's good.

- Get her a erm... - Red wine.

- Really? - I'm on the dark side.

Well, if it's fun you're after...

You've come to the right place.

Show me what you've got.

J“ t-connection: Do what you wanna do

j“ everybody's starting to pick on you

j“ just can't let them tell you what to do

j“ you've only got one life, so live it cool

j“ in this world of strife you can't be a fool

j“ let nobody tell you what to do

j“ you gotta be yourjudge and your jury too

j“ let nobody tell you what to do

j“ you gotta be yourjudge and jury too

j“ all right

j“ do what you wanna do

j“ do what you wanna do

J“ do what you wanna do

I fucking love fat birds.

You know? I fucking really like them.

You've got a little bit more about you.

You know, fucking, you're a little bit more open-minded.

You don't mind what people do to you, do you?

Ugh!

Ugh!

Oh. Fucking hell.

I don't know why that made me feel all...

Sort of weird. It turned me on, being sick.

It's probably the gag reflex or something like that.

Here we go. I thought I had a beer in here, but...

Do you think every human has needs, Dan?

We haven't got any beers. I thought I'd been out

and got some, but I must have drunk 'em before.

There's half an egg sandwich if you want it.

Do you think every individual needsfood...

"Sexulove?

Of course. If you don't have all those things,

you're gonna die, ain't you?

Would you die without love, Dan?

I'm too young to die.

Have you got anyone who loves you?

Yes, of course I have. I've got my mother. She loves me.

- Does she? - Yes, of course she does.

Mums love sons. That's how the world works, innit?

Parents love their kids. Didn't you know?

It's not rocket science. This is all getting very serious.

Can you not put a downer on the evening?

I was really looking forward to getting back

and having some fun.

I tell you what, I'll put on a bit of music for us.

What sort of stuff do you like?

Dirty dancing? Do you know that one?

Course I do. I'm not retarded.

What about grease? I like grease.

That always puts me in a good mood.

- A bit of summer loving. - It's not summer, is it?

And you're not Olivia Newton-John.

You look more like Elton John.

Glass houses.

You're a right weird fucker, you, aren't you?

A strange bod.

Right, I tell you, here's one for you.

Right.

J“ I got it bad

j“ you don't know how bad I got it

what's the song? You know it? I love that fucking tune.

It's one of my favourites.

J“ I got it bad

j“ you don't know how bad I got it

j“ you got it easy

j“ you don't know when you got it good

j“ it's getting harder

j“ just keeping life and soul together

j“ I'm sick of fighting

j“ even though I know I should

j“ it's getting harder

j“ just keeping life and soul together

j“ my da-da spirit is frozen to the core

j“ I don't want to be here no more

j“ I don't want to be here no...

J“ wouldn't it be good if we could wish ourselves away?

- Do you want kids, Dan? - Ugh!

What's wrong with you?

- What about kids? - What about them?

No, I fucking hate kids. They're annoying.

They get in the way of stuff.

I've got things to do with my life.

Don't you want to share your life with anyone?

No, not with kids, I don't. I don't know.

I'm dj Dan.

I'm at the fun... the fun bus. Eh?

That's what I'm all about. Get on there.

Let's stop fannying around

and let's have a look at your Fanny.

Let's have a little butchers

at what you're holding down there.

You're very selfish, aren't you?

No, I'm not! How am I selfish?

We said we wanted the same thing when we was back there.

- You're selfish. - Who are you?

Oh, fuck! This is all I need.

Erm...

I... I... I'm Paula.

Give me a second, would you?

Sort this bag out.

Come on.

Come on, you. Let's just get you to bed.

- I've got to do the washing. - No, you haven't.

Last thing you need to do at this time of night is washing.

That's why I've got no clothes.

You've washed them all to buggery, ain't you? Eh?

Get into bed.

Finish your chores tomorrow. This place is a shit tip.

Get in bed. I don't want to hear another word out of you.

Child: You see?

These are the sort of people we're dealing with.

You never said your name was Paula.

Where were we?

I tell you what. I can't wait to see you naked.

Cramps your style a bit, doesn't she?

No, she just lives here. We get on, you know?

Oh, yeah. You smell like a stripper.

I fucking love that smell. Fucking slutty and dirty.

You're filth, aren't you?

Do you always talk to her like that?

Yeah, the sad thing is, you know, I'm an only child,

so I get everything when she's gone -

and that won't be too long.

She's losing her memory. Everything's going, you know?

I'm gonna come at you like a dog.

- Do it. - You're bad, ain't you?

You're a real bad girl.

Oh!

Something moved down there.

That's not right.

Are you fucking pregnant?

Fuck!

Fuck!

What the fuck? What you fucking doing?

Oh, fucking hell.

It's fucking...

I feel sick.

I'm gonna lay down.

It's messy, isn't it?

Relationships...

Kids and responsibilities?

What would you know, though? You avoid all that, don't you?

Need a bit of bleach on there.

Who are you?

Erm... I'm Ruth.

Erm... let's... Let's get you into bed, mum.

I've got to do the washing.

Danny's run out of knickers.

Don't worry. I'll put the washing on.

Oh, you're lovely. You're an angel.

- Michelle. - Yeah.

I think you should leave Danny.

You're too good for him, Michelle.

- I know.

Come on, let's get you in. Pop your feet in, then.

- Thank you. - Nice and cosy.

Got your Teddy.

Thank you.

Do you not want a hot chocolate or anything?

No, thank you. I'll go to sleep now.

Ok. Night-night.

Good night, darling.

J“ wouldn't it be good

j“ if we could wish ourselves away?

J“ I'm sick of fighting

j“ even though I know I should

Ungrateful bastard.

Child: You're getting better at this.

Do you think so?

Oh, yes.

I do too.

I think I'm changing.

Into something else.

It's because of you.

Child: I'm tired.

Hey.

Knock, knock.

Are you gonna do anything?

Child: It's you who needs to act, Ruth.

Remember?

Remember what they did?

They're out there, the rest of them.

They cut my daddy down in his prime.

With only a thought for themselves.

People think babies are sweet.

But I'm bitter.

Woman: Hello. Good evening.

Hi. I'm here to see Ella Harding.

Thanks so much.

Could you tell me which floor she's on?

- Concierge: The second floor. - Thank you.

Child: These people...

Make decisions...

About who survives...

And who dies.

Some of them are women.

Oh, yes.

We can be the worst.

The coldest.

The most merciless.

The most... ruthless.

- Any questions, just.. - Hang on.

Oh, sorry.

Take your time.

To be honest...

I don't know what we were thinking.

Thanks for seeing me, by the way, so late in the day.

It's not because it's the end of the day... Siobhan.

Is it this? Is it the pregnancy?

Not directly.

But it's a tricky decision for a company.

I understand.

You'd be taking your maternity leave

as soon as you've unpacked your stapler.

Which isn't a problem, per se.

What is the problem, per se?

I just... well, I don't know. I just don't...

Maybe I've got the wrong star sign.

Yeah, you're not a Virgo, are you? Urgh!

No, listen.

Erm... We have clients come in...

I'm not like this, but we have clients come in

and they're so stupid.

They'll be thinking stuff like,

"is she going to turn up at the courtroom

or is she going to be off giving birth in a tepee?"

You know? Stuff like that. It's...

People are such idiots.

Yeah, I guess I was being a bit naive.

- We need the money. - It's a cut-throat world.

Yeah.

I've actually had to make cuts already,

very, very harsh cuts and...

It's been awful.

Really awful.

Child: [Told you, she's a merciless, frigid bitch.

Anyway... sorry, but I've got to get on.

Do you always work late... Alone?

Yes.

Well, I've got my priorities.

Don't you do anything else?

Well... of course.

Well, I've...

I've got a dog.

Iwalk him.

Do my food shop. I've got to eat.

I... I go on an odd activity weekend.

I don't take them seriously or anything, but..

Why would you?

- I'm so busy. - You must be.

I let my friend convince me

to go on one of those skydiving things.

I mean, can you believe it? Who does that?

I mean, it's crazy, but I did it! I did it!

- Skydiving! - Yeah!

- Oh, right. - It was mental.

Who pays someone to throw them out of an aeroplane?

It's not a substitute for a personality, is it?

Child: Sad, lonely woman.

Be ruthless, Ruth.

Anyway, I'm sorry I wasted your time.

Word of advice.

Get it out of your system, the motherhood thing.

You know? Sort out your own business

before you interfere in other people's.

Oh, iwill.

I'm sorry, Ella. I've had to make some really harsh cuts.

It's a cutthroat world, you know?

You know, you should er...

You should get out more and have more fun.

I really believe that.

Cos, activity weekends,

you're never gonna get a shag on those.

Might see if I can...

Whee.

Whee.

It's a nice chair, actually.

Where can I get one of these?

Child: That... was perfect.

Don't get too cocky.

You'll stand out from the crowd.

Remember who's the mastermind.

You wouldn't have done it without me,

would you?

Would you?

Man: It was a...

A group decision.

Erm... it was a matter of life or death.

It's a tragic... incident

and, you know, people are aware of the dangers,

but just...

We were unlucky today. We were very unlucky.

In these situations,

there's nothing you can do, really.

Nothing you can do.

Dead eyes.

Dead eyes.

Tom, isn't it?

- Yeah. - Hi!

- Hi! - We spoke on the phone.

Ah, yes. Yes. How are you?

- I'm good. How are you? - Well.

Yeah, I'm just here for the induction, so...

What sort of level were you interested in?

Erm, well, I'm a beginner,

but I feel quite confident, actually.

I feel like I'd like to go quite advanced.

Absolutely, absolutely. Your first time.

Yeah.

So you don't know how to use this equipment?

You know, I'm kind of... I've been reading up about it.

So... I mean, this is, like...

This is a kind of safety rope, isn't it?

It's a rope.

I kind of think you wouldn't put

more than seven people on this.

What are you getting at? Are you here for a lesson?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Of course. Yeah.

The thing is that I couldn't teach you

because of your... Your current condition.

All right, look, don't worry about that.

Because the thing is I am really fit.

I have been up to all sorts.

You would not believe what I've been doing recently.

Sure, but if something were to go wrong,

then I'd be to blame. You know?

You'd be to blame, wouldn't you?

Yeah.

Have you been to blame many times before?

Sorry, my 8pm is here.

Um, sorry I couldn't teach you.

It's all right.

Didn't have a problem earlier, did you?

I didn't s... I'm sorry.

You knew I was pregnant. You were still gonna teach me.

It's very slippery.

I will. I'll do it. I promise.

I'm trying!

You fucking do it!

Just bring you up a little bit today, Ruth.

So I can have a feel around,

see how the baby is.

Oop, there we go. Sorry, that's...

- That a bit better? - That's better.

Bit far down now. I'll pop you back up again.

All these new technical things do bother me. How's that?

- Yeah, that's good. - Lovely.

All right, so I'm just gonna lift your top up.

There's a... I have to do this.

Get my hands warmed up. My mum taught me this.

Don't learn that at college.

I'm just gonna press here, down the side.

There you go. Ooh, there you go.

She doesn't like that.

I'm just feeling for the head.

Well, it's in this area.

It's in the stomach area. Even I know that.

Yeah.

Don't worry, she's got a head.

She's thinking all the time, a bit too much.

We discussed blood pressure, didn't we, last time?

To monitor your blood pressure.

So are you looking after yourself?

Eating well? How are you sleeping?

Well, she's not really letting me sleep, so...

And that's affecting your... mind...

Your rationality...

Just have to make a few notes, you see.

I have to monitor this. It's my job

- to keep track of everything. - What do you mean?

Well, if there's anything untoward,

or anything difficult occurring,

I need to get in touch with social services.

I don't want you to report it to social services.

Well...

Why would you report it to social services?

Only if something's bothering you, but we need...

No. No, no, no.

I don't want you to be contacting social services.

At all.

It's not personal. We do it with everybody.

It's so that we can see you're all right...

No, no, no. They interfere and mess around.

What are we talking about here?

We talking about...?

We're talking about adoption, aren't we?

- Not at all. - We are.

If you tell social services about me,

- we're talking of adoption. - You're all right.

And I know what they do. What they do

is they give your baby - they steal it from you -

and give it to some fucking child-hungry,

middle-class couple

and then I won't get to see the baby again.

It won't happen. This baby is attached with a fucking cord.

She wouldn't even let it happen.

That's not going to happen. Ruth, you have to trust me.

You have got to start thinking about what's best.

It's all about you and your choices.

Sit down.

What do you mean?

What I mean is

nobody is going to take this baby away from you...

If you make the right choices.

You have to decide what is right

and what's wrong.

Send me a sign.

Child: Loneliness, it's the worst.

But, luckily, you'll never be alone

because you've got me.

Isn't that great?

I despise crowds.

Look at this lot.

Out on the rape.

The next morning they'll all be, "it wasn't me."

Animals.

A fucking zoo, this town.

A kind soul is as rare as a unicorn.

- Claire? - Yeah. I'm Josh.

Oh, hi.

Not who you're expecting?

- No, but that's fine, so... - Come in, anyway.

- This is lovely! - Yeah, welcome.

The spare room's upstairs. There's extra rooms up there.

Zac's room's up there.

Zac's Buddha's in pride of place for some reason.

- Ok.

I'm in the middle of cooking. Mind if I stop it burning?

Go for it. Is it ok if I just put my stuff down?

Yeah, yeah, of course, make yourself at home.

- Should be all right. - Really lovely.

Thank you. Yeah, it's quite...

It's all chilled out, it's a nice spot.

Yeah, Zac isn't here, I'm afraid.

- He's not here much. - Ok.

Which means he never cleans, but er...

- That's a bit annoying. - Oh, no.

- It's never messy. I do it. - Ok.

And, you know, he's... He's lovely.

Yeah. He's just a bit away with the fairies.

- Fickle. - Kinda head-in—the-clouds.

- Flawed. - He's always got projects.

- Bit of a pig. - No, no, no.

He's a lovely bloke to live with, really.

Oh, great.

Yeah. I mean, do you want to sit down?

Erm, yeah.

- Erm, yeah. - Erm...

Sorry, I don't mean to pry, but what's, you know...

Ok, yeah, I...

So, I was with someone...

And we were, you know, committed, and everything,

and he said he was ready.

And then about a third of the way into the pregnancy

he changed his mind.

And he ran off with a 23-year-old.

- Shit. - TV researcher with tattoos.

And, you know, it was his flat,

so I had to... I got chucked out, basically.

- Yeah. - That's horrendous.

No, I mean, don't worry. Don't worry about it.

Honestly, people have been really kind.

Have they? It doesn't sound very kind.

I'm sorry, just people can be so fucking selfish.

- Yeah, they can. - Sorry.

Sorry. Makes me feel sick.

Well, I... I like kids.

So, you know...

Yeah, I've got a little niece, actually.

I look after her all the time.

- Here. - Oh, that so sweet.

I'm mad uncle Josh and, yeah, I love it.

- I love it, yeah. - Aw.

It's a bit different living with one, though, isn't it?

I mean, they just take over your life, really.

Then you have to kind of hand yourself over

like some kind of human sacrifice to their will.

Look, I think Zac'll be back soon.

Do you wanna... I mean...

Well, if I could just carry on cooking,

you could have some, and stay.

- Erm... I wouldn't wanna... - Yeah, I'm bloody starving.

Eat you out of house and home.

No, well, I mean, you could eat Zac's portion,

as far as I'm concerned.

- That's fine. - Yeah.

I don't know about you,

I just think if you put an egg in something,

it immediately tastes nicer.

I wouldn't know cos I don't really cook, so...

Or an anchovy.

An anchovy. I'm just thinking, does Claire like anchovies?

Right.

You're speaking to yourself in the third person.

Is that what we would expect from a prospective flatmate?

No, no, no, I...

Erm... ok, I've just never had an anchovy, so...

- Are you being serious? - Yeah!

No, I've never had one.

Right, ok, we need to change this.

I don't like the look of them. Don't get them out.

Yeah, these are amazing.

They look like the eyelids of old men that have died.

Tasty, though. Here you go, here's a tiny smudge.

No, no, no, you're not gonna make me.

- Try it. Try a smidge. - Why is it hairy?

It's just... these are... These are luxury hairs.

- This is good living. - Oh, my god.

Tastes amazing. It's an acquired taste.

We'll sophisticate you if you live here.

Ugh.

No?

- You've poisoned me. - No.

You've poisoned my unborn child.

No, no. These contain omega three,

I think you'll find - iron, calcium probably,

- wmmmd. - Are you a doctor?

I am dr anchovy, and this is the only thing I prescribe.

Yeah.

Next week, I'll get you... Are you all right?

- Are you ok? - I don't feel very well.

Christ, I'm sorry. Was it the anchovy?

- Is it ok if I sit down? - Yeah, yeah, lie down.

Just put your feet up.

Can I get you a glass of water or...?

I'm just really erm... I'm just really tired.

Of course you are.

You've been through shitloads.

On your own. I mean, anyone would be tired.

You're really kind, aren't you?

Do you want a... A cushion or anything or...?

Oh, my god.

- Did you see that? - Is that the baby moving?

That's nuts.

Give me your hand.

- Seriously? - Yeah. Yeah.

- Did you feel that? - Yeah, that's amazing.

No-one else has felt her.

Seriously?

Well, I'm very privileged, thank you very much.

She's saying, "hey, mum,

I learnt how to do the boogaloo, self-taught."

Child: No, I'm not. I'm saying fuck off.

Can't you see he's just pretending?

I think she's actually telling me to get on with it.

Stay there, stay there, don't do a thing.

Child: He's coming.

Child: Do it. Do it now!

- Please! It wasn't me! - Agh!

Fuck.

Argh!

Child: That's it. Yes.

It was completely unnecessary to kill that man.

- He was really nice. - Child: He was a sop.

A hipster sop.

Shh.

The sacrifices I've had to make.

What sacrifices?

Children these days are really spoiled.

It's like, "mummy, I want a PlayStation.

Mummy, I want you to kill that man."

I don't want a new...

I know you don't want a new daddy,

but there's no possibility of that,

so stop going on about it.

He saw everything.

I know he's a witness,

but there's a chance he might not have told anyone.

- His name was Josh. - No, you're right.

No-one called Josh is not gonna tell the authorities.

He would have been like all the rest. Inherently evil.

Look, stop going on about it. I'm serious.

Pah!

I'm the mother. I am in control.

You regret it. You regret killing them.

I'm doing this cos you're making me.

Oh, no.

No. Please, no. No.

Cd player: I want you to let

a feeling of wellbeing wash over you.

A feeling of love for your fellow man.

I want you to say to yourself, "I am love.

Everyone is kindness.

Everyone loves me.

Everyone loves my baby."

And I want you to imagine everyone you've ever met

standing around you in a circle

and placing their hands on your bump,

placing their love upon your baby.

This is the world.

And they are saying,

"we are here to protect you..."

Child: Listen to the sound of my voice.

You feel better now.

I feel a lot better now.

Hey.

Excuse me? Excuse me?

Hello?

Excuse me?

Oh, fuck.

Child: He knows.

He's onto us.

Can't believe that he's fucking onto us.

He hath slipped from the net whom we chased.

He hath escaped us who should be our prey.

O'ermastered by slumber we sank,

and our quarry hath stolen away.

Zabek.

He was creepy.

- Creepy little man. - Child: Slimy.

Dumb. Like a lizard.

Dan.

What... a dickhead.

He was a pig. A total pig.

He just didn't have the balls.

- Mm. Ella. - Poor leadership skills!

- Cold-hearted bitch. - I agree.

Done her.

Very efficient with that one.

Zac.

I didn't speak to him much,

but I could tell he was a gobshite.

Total little twat.

But it was a shame about Josh.

Len.

Child: Len.

Len.

I was wondering if I could talk to you

about child charity.

It's a local organisation that is working

for children living in poverty.

- I already give to charity... - Do you?

Which charities do you give to?

- I do sponsored runs. - Oh, wow.

You must be really fit.

- Yeah. - I'm terrible.

- I'm just, like, "oh..." - Ok.

Yeah, so do you have five minutes?

Not really.

- Can I come in? - No.

Do you have a toilet?

You know I have a toilet.

Can I use it?

- It's upstairs. - Thanks.

Erm... great. Oh.

Just in case I fall over.

Oh, this is nice.

Sports equipment everywhere!

Sorry about that. I've got a bladder the size of a pea.

I need to piss every 11 houses or something like that.

What are you doing?

I thought we could discuss your donations.

I told you I already give to charity.

Not to child charity, though.

I couldn't give a fuck. I just want you out of my house.

If you don't care about children.

For what it's worth, you're missing out

on a really worthwhile cause.

Yeah, I'll try and live with that.

So I saw all the climbing pictures upstairs.

So what?

So I'm not leaving without what I came for.

Ah, for fuck's sake!

Let go, you crazy bitch!

Child: This is a farce.

Are you fucking this up deliberately?

What are you doing?

Fucking hell.

I've called the police.

Shit.

Better get on with it, then, hadn't I?

- Stop doing that. - No.

I'm gonna cut you.

I told you I already give to loads of different charities.

What do you think this is, some new initiative?

You never know with charities these days.

You can't trust anyone.

Well, that is true. I mean, everyone's out for themselves.

Ahh!

You're insane.

I am a working mother.

It is not easy, meeting your kids' demands these days.

Stop moving forward or I will hurt you.

Tell me this, like,

why do people pay for, like, sporting activities?

- I mean, I just don't get it. - It makes you stronger.

Does it, though?

It's just like following an instructor

like a bunch of sheep.

It's kind of weak-minded.

A load of people searching for a purpose.

I've already got one.

My baby.

Oh! Oh, I'm... I'm really sorry.

Are you ok? I'm... i'm...

Do you know what really helps with pain?

Erm... if you relax.

So if you sort of do some breathing, like...

Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's it.

That's better, right?

Shit.

Shit!

Fuck.

Man: Police! Is anyone there?

Hello?

Police!

Get away. You're not helping.

Agh! Ugh!

What happened to your eye, Ruth?

It's fine. I just knocked it.

Ok!

Perfectly healthy little baby in there.

So, we're not out to get you.

What?

Well, there's no bad fairy trying to put a curse on her.

No, I don't think so.

I would swap her to have him back.

That's not an option.

I know, but I wanted you to know that.

Ok, she can't hear you.

That's not what the baby manual says.

Well, but she can't understand English.

She can. She's very articulate.

Ruth, you missed your scan.

I don't wanna know what's in there. I'm scared of her.

I mean, I'm not even in control.

It's like I'm some crap, banged-out car

and she's driving - I'm just the vehicle.

Honestly, it's like a hostile takeover.

You missed your scan and that was a very important scan.

- She could come early. - No. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no. No. I need more time.

She comes when she wants to come.

I've held back on telling social services.

I've put my job on the line, Ruth, for you.

I'm really sorry about your loss

and I know it's been very difficult for you.

But you're going to be ok.

And the baby's gonna be ok.

I'm here to help you.

What's going on?

Whatever it is, it's got to stop.

I can't do it, Matt.

Make me do it.

I don't know what to do.

Woman: And reach over with the right.

Stretch out that side.

Keep your sitting bone on the floor

to really create a stretch.

Now an inhale.

Arms up.

Exhale, hands to heart centre.

A couple of breaths here.

Lovely.

Now for your favourite part.

Get down onto your backs for shavasana.

I'd like you all to scrunch up your fists tight as you can.

Take all the tension in your body

and put it into your fists.

Hold that for five counts.

Five, four...

Three, two...

One.

Release.

Let your whole body relax.

With that release, release all your worries.

Any concerns of what's to come.

And relax.

Midwife: It's very important

to let the past stay in the past.

You have to decide what's right... and what's wrong.

Child: I know what you did.

You betrayed me to that bitch.

Do you understand?

Child: You can't shake me.

I'm fury.

I'm in you.

I'm in you. I'm in you.

I'm in you. I'm in you.

Child: Look, mummy.

Look!

Look.

I succumb to your will.

Baby knows best.

Child: The instructor.

He tells people what to do.

But he won't control me.

I'm not his puppet on a string like all the others.

Look, how funny, he's going to a Halloween party.

"Dress to distress."

He won't need a costume.

He's already got blood on his hands.

Child: Get on with it.

I'm doing it.

I can't go any faster.

Ground floor, please.

Child: What did I say would happen?

If you don't do as I say, blood will be shed...

One way or another.

Monsters.

All of them.

Monsters.

No, no, no, that's not the deal.

I can't put her in the same position.

Child: He was the only one who ever loved you.

If you loved him, finish the job.

It's an act of love.

It's all you have, isn't it?

What else is there?

No family, no faith, no friends.

No future.

Look at you. In love with the past.

Kill him. Or I kill you.

Jess! What...?

I thought I recognised you.

Oh, yeah, from that climbing centre.

This is what I really look like.

From the inquest.

- I knew it was you. - Oh, the inquest.

I didn't know...

You didn't know about this?

Not many people know.

I kept it quiet.

Did he know?

You're having a baby, aren't you?

Yeah, two months.

Yeah, you see, your baby was born of pleasure.

My baby is born of pain.

I found out on the day he died.

That's terrible.

You're grieving.

I'm not grieving! I'm gestating!

Fucking rage.

Look...

I went through this...

Over and over again.

There was nothing else we could do.

It was a group decision.

You were in charge, though.

I had to think of everyone.

It was a matter of life or death.

It was unavoidable.

It was easy!

- No. - You made a selfish decision

that suited all of you without a thought for anyone else,

and you got away with it, scot-free.

Who cut the cord?

I'm sorry.

Who cut the fucking cord?

- I'm sorry... - It's not good enough!

Not good enough.

Please.

This isn't helping anyone.

I spoke to him before he died.

What do you mean?

I know that things weren't great between you two.

I know that he was thinking about leaving you.

No!

Let me help you.

Jess! Let me help you.

Let me help you.

Child: I am about to take my last voyage.

A great leap in the dark.

Midwife: Good morning, mummy.

We managed to collect your things for you.

She's just normal.

She's just a normal little baby.

Well, of course she is. I told you.

And you're just a normal mummy, too.

Look, I know the caesarean wasn't meant to happen,

but when it's life or death, we have to make that cut.

I understand that now.

Just be grateful you've got a happy, healthy little girl.

I know it wasn't in your birth plan, Ruth.

I hadn't really considered the birth in terms of the plans.

Well, we've got that far now, haven't we?

It's all change.

All about what is best for baby.

I've done some really terrible things.

I've done really bad things. I've got it all wrong.

Look, we all get it wrong.

Always.

It's fine.

You see. I thought I was doing it all for her,

but I wasn't, I was doing it for myself.

And I've only just realised that.

Cos she's not talking to me any more.

Well, I'm gonna go and get your health worker

and bring her in, and you can have a chat.

You can tell her how you're feeling.

And you can chat all this through with her.

How does that sound, Ruth?

J“ t-connection: Do what you wanna do

J“ everybody starts to pick on you

j“ you just can't let them tell you what to do

j“ you've only got one life, so live it cool

j“ in this world of strife, you can't be a fool

j“ let nobody tell you what to do

j“ you gotta be yourjudge and your jury too

j“ let nobody tell you what to do

j“ you gotta be yourjudge and jury too

j“ all right

J“ got to do your thing and let it all hang out

j“ got to really show them what it's all about

j“ move on up

j“ don't look around

j“ people will always try to put you down

j“ down, down

j“ let nobody tell you what to do

j“ you gotta be yourjudge and your jury too

j“ let nobody tell you what to do

j“ ah—ah

j“ gotta be your judge and your jury too

j“ ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah

J“ whoo

J“ do what you wanna

j“ yeah, yeah

j“ do what you wanna do

j“ gotta be your

j“ judge and your jury too

j“ I'm gonna do, I'm gonna do

j“ do what you wanna do

j“ I'm gonna do, yeah

j“ be yourjudge and your jury too

j“ I'm gonna do

j“ do what you wanna do

j“ yeah, yeah

j“ be yourjudge and your jury too

j“ I'm gonna do, yeah

j“ do what you wanna do

j“ be yourjudge and your jury too

j“ gotta do, gotta do, gotta do

j“ do what you wanna do

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