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JUNIOR: I need to talk to you,
Dad. I lost my wedding ring
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again. I'm a dead man walking.
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[Poppa moaning]
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[stammers]
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That sounds... that sounds
serious. Dad, come on, man. This
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is an emergency. I need your
help.
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Can't you see I'm on the floor, fool?
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[grunting]
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[moaning]
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Oh, my God, Dad. Are you... able
to loan me some money? I got to
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get a replacement for this
wedding ring before Nina kills
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me. It's the third time I lost
it. I have a question for you,
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son. Mm-hmm. You ever ask
yourself, "Hey, why was Dad on
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the floor?"
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You hurt your back? Yes. My
sciatica is acting up. Okay,
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well, you should go to the
doctor, then. No, you know I
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don't do doctors. First time I
went to the doctor, they gave me
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diabetes. You mean they
discovered you had diabetes. No.
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Everything was fine until they
told me I had diabetes. Now I
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can't eat nothing sweet except
toothpaste.
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Oh, is that why you always steal
the kids' bubblegum toothpaste?
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Yes, it's delicious.
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[grunts]
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Easy, just easy, eas--
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[grunting]
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[exhales]
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Okay.
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[exhales]
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Uh-huh.
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[sighs]
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Uh-huh.
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[grunts]
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Okay.
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[grunts]
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So, um... I already have half
the money for the ring. I just
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need the other $997.52. I'll
tell you what, Mr. Sensitive.
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I'll loan you the money if you
help me out until my back gets
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better. Okay. Yeah, and your
first job is to get me a toilet
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that doesn't break on me. You
got it, champ.
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[muttering]
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Yeah, okay. Top of the line. You
deserve it.
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[shouts]
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? Poppa's ? House ? Yeah.
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[straining]
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Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...
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[singsongy]: Good morning!
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[chuckles]
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Hi, Poppa.
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[screams]
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Are you in pain? No, I was
singing James Brown, "Living in
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America." Oh, I love that song.
? Living in America.
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[vocalizing]
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Ow!
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Junior?
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[singsongy]: Junior!
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Yes, Dad? Okay, what in the Gone
with the Wind is going on
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between you two? Nothing.
Listen, is it done? Uh, yes, the
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installer just finished with
your fancy new toilet. The seat
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lifts up, the toilet flushes by
itself, so it will be easy to
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use until your back gets better.
Aha! I knew you were hurt. You
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know, you should go see a doctor
about that. You probably just
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need to get a cortisone shot.
Yeah, why don't you give me one?
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Well, I'm not that kind of
doctor. Exactly. You're not a
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doctor. How would you know?
You've never seen one. And I do
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have a background in nursing.
Listen, Junior, if brickhead is
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not gonna see a doctor, then I
can help you out. All right, I
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will just, I'll get you an
icepack.
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Right here. And I don't want you
to go anywhere else. Don't leave
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me alone with that woman. She's
got designs on me, see? Why are
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you talking like a detective
from the '40s?
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[old-timey voice]: She got
designs on me, see? She's got
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nice getaway sticks.
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[chuckles]
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You laugh. But she's always
giving me those sexy eyes and
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the touchy, touchy feely and...
and don't get me started with
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the flirty, dirty comments she's
doing. What, like, "I'll get you
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an icepack"? Yeah, you heard it
like that, I hear it like,
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[sexy voice]: "I'll get you an
icepack, Poppa."
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See, it starts with the icepack,
and then next thing you know
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she's bringing you flowers, and
then she's walking away with
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half your money. Wait, how did
you get from icepack to alimony?
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I don't know. Ask your mother.
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But wait a minute, I don't
understand. Did he lose the ring
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or not? He did not. I told him I
took it to get cleaned, but he
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wasn't listening, so now he
thinks he lost it. He only hears
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me when it's about sex. JUNIOR:
You say something, babe? I want
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him to understand how important
this is to me. He won't even
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come clean. JUNIOR: I washed it!
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He even wore oven mitts to bed
last night so I couldn't see the
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ring was missing. Holding him
accountable. I like that.
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00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:44,980
Speaking of liking that, what's
up with you and Poppa? Ew! I'm
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just trying to help the man out.
Mm. Girl, I don't miss a beat. I
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know what I know. I see how you
are with him. Please! I would
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never get involved with somebody
I work with. I wrote a book
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about that. It's called Don't
Jeopardize That Paycheck, Girl.
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Mm. Not buying it. Well, you
should. It's available online.
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Now enough about me and P-bear.
I mean Poppa. What are you gonna
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do about this ring? Oh, I'm
gonna milk it. JUNIOR: Coming!
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What the hell is this thing?
This thing is the new toilet I
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was talking about. Super fancy.
You don't got to do nothing.
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Just walk up to it. Watch.
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[toilet speaks Japanese]
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[gasps]
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Wha-what said that? The toilet.
It, uh, greets you in Japanese.
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It's a sign of respect. Thank
you for your poo-poo and your
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pee-pee. Get out, I got to go.
All right. I'll be waiting for
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you outside. Why you smiling
like that? You'll see.
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[liquid tinkling]
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[Poppa chuckling]
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[Poppa giggling]
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[toilet speaks Japanese]
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[Poppa laughing]
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[Poppa speaking gibberish]
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[bell ringing]
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Did you know this thing did the
squirt thing? Oh, yeah. This
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thing needs to come with a
consent form. Oh, yeah. If you
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put some heels on it, you could
take it downtown and make a
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fortune.
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[laughs]
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Oh! Spasms! Aw, Dad, come on,
you're getting worse. All right?
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You're on a walker. Your back is
spasming. You need to go to a
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doctor. Ah, I'm fine. I'm an
athlete. I play through pain.
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Like Jordan. He had the flu.
Scored 38 points. Kobe popped
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his Achilles. Still hit two
critical free throws. And don't
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get me started on Mr. Dennis
Rodman. He still looks sick. But
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he plays through the pain... of
being ugly.
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[grunts]
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You are ridiculous. All right?
If you're not gonna go the
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doctor, I quit. Yeah, well, then
I won't loan you the money for
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the ring. Fine, I don't care.
I'll either find it or I'll tell
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Nina I lost it myself. You come
back here and wipe me!
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Hey. Did he go see a doctor yet?
No, and I'm done trying to help
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him! All right, don't you worry.
I will get him to a doctor.
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?
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Hey, husband.
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[screaming]
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Whatcha doing? Just, uh, hanging
out. Admiring your boots.
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Wondering... if they come in my
size. Why are they on your
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hands? For dancing.
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Come here, take 'em off. I want
to see some skin. Oh. Sock
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puppets.
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[chuckles]
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It's me and you.
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[high voice]: Hey, baby.
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[deep voice]: How you doing? Who
was that? It's you.
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[normal voice]: It's your
morning voice.
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[deep voice]: I'm not in the
mood again. Well, I will be
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after you strip-- And who might
those puppets be?
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[chuckles]
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It's our kids. It's Maya and
Trey.
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[high voice]: We love you,
Mommy, so much, 'cause you're so
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forgiving. And so tall.
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I don't need no doctors. I don't
need no Junior. All I need is my
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new friend Mr. Grab-it. Okay,
come here, PB and J.
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[grunts]
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Daddy got you, PB and J. I got--
Oh, come here. Yes, baby, you
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want daddy. I got it.
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[chuckles]
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I got you right here, come on.
Oh, damn!
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Junior! You rang? Yes, for
Junior. Well, Junior told me
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you're insufferable. And I told
Junior that's why people have
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caretakers who aren't family,
someone like me. Well, I don't
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want you. I want my ungrateful
son!
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[grunting]
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No. You want the path of least
resistance. Now I'm gonna take
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00:09:35,836 --> 00:09:40,275
care of you, because I know
exactly what you need. Is Junior
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00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:43,844
in that bag? Just his head.
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[laughs]
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That's not fun-- ow! Ah,
spasms![
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[grunts]
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Spasms-- Ooh! All right. Are you
okay?
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[stammering]
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Here you go, here you go. What
are you doing to-- Oh. What are
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00:09:58,032 --> 00:10:03,428
you-- What are you doing to me?
No means yes.
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00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:09,391
And yes means deeper. Ah. Your
little Grinch fingers are
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magical.
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[grunts]
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Now let's open up the hangar.
No. Ah!
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00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:25,842
Hey, that's actually pretty
good. Mm-hmm. Thank you. Let me
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try that.
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00:10:26,451 --> 00:10:27,583
[chuckles]
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00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:29,890
You know, this isn't my first
time taking care of someone. I
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00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:32,457
had actually dropped out of
nursing school to take care of
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00:10:32,588 --> 00:10:38,202
my brother. Really? How's he
now? He died. Was it the soup?
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00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:42,642
It's okay. He was actually
really stubborn, just like you.
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00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:46,776
By the time he finally made it
to the doctor, it was too late.
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00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:51,433
I had a similar experience with
my dad. He spent his life
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00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:55,306
avoiding doctors. He used to
call them "quacks." And then,
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00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:58,353
one day, he was complaining
about a cold in his shoulder.
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They took him to the hospital
and he never came home. Couldn't
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00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:03,837
duck the quacks, huh? Get it?
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00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:08,363
Okay, finally, something funny
came out your face.
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00:11:08,493 --> 00:11:10,931
[laughs]
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00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:15,805
You know, um, if my brother had
gone to the doctor a little
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00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:16,371
earlier...
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00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:17,459
[clears throat]
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00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:19,504
...he might still be here.
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00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:24,335
My dad just didn't believe in
them. I mean, the last time he
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00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:27,121
went to the doctor, he was born.
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00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:34,476
Wow. Poppa, I just want you to
be here for a long time. And
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00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:38,045
don't worry. I'm not a wuss like
Junior, I'm not going anywhere.
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00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:43,877
I'm here, silly billy.
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00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:48,055
[chuckles]
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Mm.
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00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:55,236
?
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00:11:57,891 --> 00:12:01,068
She's not going anywhere...
Yeah.
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00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:03,984
[gasps]
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00:12:04,114 --> 00:12:06,203
[panting, groaning]
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00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:09,903
[screams]
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00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:16,213
Looking for your wallet, Mr.
Dirty Birdie? Yes. There's
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00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:19,303
nothing inside. I spent it all.
No... Give me my money! You know
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00:12:19,434 --> 00:12:22,698
what happens to little dirty
birdies who don't do as they're
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00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:23,743
told?
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00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:28,530
[crying]: No, I don't know. Mama
makes sure that you spend the
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00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:32,882
rest of your life in misery. No!
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00:12:34,188 --> 00:12:35,363
That's a big-ass book.
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00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:42,805
Did you write that whole thing?
Yes, in two days, like Tyler
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00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:45,590
Perry. No!
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00:12:46,461 --> 00:12:51,379
No. You're in misery. Listen,
please, please. Whatever you're
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00:12:51,509 --> 00:12:54,164
thinking about doing, don't do
it. Don't do it! I already have
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00:12:54,295 --> 00:12:54,991
a clubfoot.
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00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:57,167
[shushes]
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00:12:57,298 --> 00:12:59,474
Now you'll have two.
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00:12:59,604 --> 00:13:01,476
[pained groaning]
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00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:05,262
[cackling evilly]
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00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:07,177
I told you I was funny.
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00:13:07,308 --> 00:13:09,701
[cackling evilly]
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00:13:09,832 --> 00:13:11,965
[snorting, laughing]
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00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,750
[screams]
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00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:16,665
[panting]
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00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:19,059
Junior!
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00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:20,669
[grunts]
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00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:28,459
[screams]
234
00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:33,464
[groans]
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00:13:33,595 --> 00:13:35,162
[grunting]
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00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,340
Dad! The whole block heard you
screaming. What's going on?
237
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:44,432
She's trying to kill me! Who?
Dr. Reed. She's Kathy Bates. She
238
00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:47,957
got a sledgehammer. She hit the
clubfoot. Get me out of here,
239
00:13:48,088 --> 00:13:50,612
son. Get me out of here. So, you
want to go to the doctor? Yes,
240
00:13:50,742 --> 00:13:53,789
any doctor but Dr. Reed. Any
doctor but Dr. Reed.
241
00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:55,051
[car door closes]
242
00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:55,878
Oh, she's back. Hurry!
243
00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:56,966
[grunts]
244
00:13:57,097 --> 00:13:58,446
Oh, God. Yeah.
245
00:13:58,576 --> 00:13:59,229
[groans]
246
00:13:59,360 --> 00:13:59,708
Okay.
247
00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:05,540
Hurry! Hurry. Hurry.
248
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:19,380
Can you touch your toes?
Absolutely. There.
249
00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:22,035
I can touch yours, too.
250
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:26,474
You see, Doc? This is what he
does, all right? H-He's in
251
00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:30,086
denial about getting older. And
I don't like it. You know,
252
00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:31,305
there's no shame in getting
older, Mr. Fulton.
253
00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:32,697
[forced chuckle]
254
00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:33,960
It doesn't have to be all doom
and gloom. Especially if you
255
00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:35,309
take care of your health. I know
the hustle.
256
00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:36,876
[snaps fingers]
257
00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:39,879
Go ahead. Write your little
prescription so you can get your
258
00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:43,404
free trip to Tahiti and the boat
from big pharma, and then, me
259
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:46,886
and my little manservant here
can be on our merry little way.
260
00:14:47,016 --> 00:14:51,934
I'll do you one better. Come
here. What's got-- What... Oh.
261
00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:53,196
[bones cracking]
262
00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:54,197
Get-- Oh! Ooh.
263
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:59,768
Ooh. Wow. That feels good.
264
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:05,600
What's that gonna cost me? Just
some humility. I'm just a doctor
265
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:09,343
you can trust. Yeah, right. I
don't trust any doctor except
266
00:15:09,473 --> 00:15:12,259
for Dr. J, Dr. Dre and Dr
Pepper.
267
00:15:12,389 --> 00:15:13,608
[laughs]
268
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:16,524
You're quite a card. Yeah,
that's what they tell me. Now
269
00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:20,267
open wide. Hmm? Open wide? Oh, I
can't get to your prostate from
270
00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:20,615
there.
271
00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:27,970
What? Say what now? I'm out. ?
272
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:30,233
[humming]
273
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:33,715
One trip to the doctor and
you're good as new. Dr. Reed was
274
00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:37,588
right. You know what? That Dr.
Reed got a crush on me. She
275
00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:41,288
probably wants to move in, do
IVF, and have, like, ten kids,
276
00:15:41,418 --> 00:15:43,812
and then divorce me and take the
other half of my money.
277
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,422
[sighs]
278
00:15:45,553 --> 00:15:48,208
Dad, seriously. What is so wrong
with someone being tender and
279
00:15:48,338 --> 00:15:51,733
showing that they care about
you? Son, after the way things
280
00:15:51,863 --> 00:15:55,606
ended with me and your mother, I
promised myself I'd never be
281
00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:58,783
tricked into falling in love
again. Yeah, well, if you, you
282
00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:01,438
know, if you shut yourself off,
you're in a self-imposed prison.
283
00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:04,920
I'd rather be in Alcatraz than
to have to manage someone else's
284
00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:07,967
feelings and be on someone
else's schedule. Well, I've got
285
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:10,970
news for you, Pop. If you're in
Alcatraz, you are on someone
286
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:14,234
else's schedule. Yeah, that's
true, but love is different. It
287
00:16:14,364 --> 00:16:15,583
hurts.
288
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:17,933
[mimics Poppa]: Yeah, yeah. Love
is a racket, see?
289
00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:19,500
[snapping fingers]
290
00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:22,459
First, they want you to move in
with them, hmm. Then comes with
291
00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:25,854
the delicious soups, right?
Then, they make your life all
292
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:29,466
better, mm. Man... Man,
seriously. You got to open
293
00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:33,296
yourself up to new experiences,
man. You know what? If I'm being
294
00:16:33,427 --> 00:16:37,692
honest, Ivy is actually not that
bad. She's kind of sweet.
295
00:16:37,822 --> 00:16:41,870
JUNIOR: Yeah. POPPA: And very
kind. I hate her laughter. That
296
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:46,483
laugh is crazy. POPPA: And the
other thing is, to be honest,
297
00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:50,096
I... I just don't want to start
up nothing that I'm probably
298
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:50,879
gonna ruin.
299
00:16:52,402 --> 00:16:55,710
? Stupid...
300
00:16:59,496 --> 00:17:00,149
[muttering]
301
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:00,715
...ring!
302
00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:07,156
Are you kidding me?
303
00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:09,332
[laughing maniacally]
304
00:17:10,203 --> 00:17:11,726
Yes. Yes.
305
00:17:11,856 --> 00:17:16,078
[imitating Gollum]: Yes... My
ring.
306
00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:20,517
[normal voice]: It's always in
the most obvious place. Ah! Drop
307
00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:21,475
the ring, Gollum.
308
00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:24,043
[mimics Gollum]: My precious.
309
00:17:24,173 --> 00:17:26,436
[snarling]
310
00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:30,527
Have a seat. I want you to take
a look at these.
311
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:36,577
JUNIOR: Huh.
312
00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:40,494
This guy looks just like me.
313
00:17:43,758 --> 00:17:45,238
Oh.
314
00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:49,851
You thought you lost your
wedding ring and you were trying
315
00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:51,679
to hide it from me. Admit it.
316
00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:53,376
[sighs]
317
00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:57,641
Fine. I'll admit it, I-I lost my
ring and I owe you an apology.
318
00:17:57,772 --> 00:18:00,296
You know, I-I know our rings
symbolize our love and
319
00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:03,430
commitment for each other and I
was just scared to death that
320
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,476
you were gonna think I didn't
value that. Thank you for saying
321
00:18:06,607 --> 00:18:10,393
that. And you didn't lose your
ring. Come again? I took it to
322
00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:14,789
get it cleaned. Well, why didn't
you tell me? I did try to tell
323
00:18:14,919 --> 00:18:18,923
you, but you weren't paying any
attention. So I decided to have
324
00:18:19,054 --> 00:18:20,925
a little fun and play "hide the
ring."
325
00:18:24,755 --> 00:18:27,584
There's been something I've been
wanting to do. Oh.
326
00:18:27,715 --> 00:18:28,933
[chuckles]
327
00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:30,805
It's gonna be hard getting it
off, but we can try.
328
00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:39,509
Damon Throckmorton Fulton Jr.
Aw...
329
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:40,945
[nervous chuckle]
330
00:18:41,076 --> 00:18:45,036
Second of his name... Girl, I'm
about to get married. First in
331
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:49,345
my heart... Aw... ...will you
continue to be my adorably
332
00:18:49,476 --> 00:18:50,651
forgetful husband?
333
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:55,438
Oh, my gosh, wow!
334
00:18:56,744 --> 00:19:00,443
Yes, baby. A thousand times yes.
335
00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:08,321
? Hey, yo. I had a near-death
experience. He tweaked his back,
336
00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:13,804
Poppitos and Doccitos. Yeah. The
point is, I felt like I was
337
00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:17,634
gonna die. Well, they say when
you have near-death experiences
338
00:19:17,765 --> 00:19:20,681
and your life flashes before
your eyes, that the people who
339
00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:24,554
matter the most come to mind.
Yeah, well. What came to mind
340
00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:28,645
for me was all the mistakes I
made before and the ones that I
341
00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:32,562
don't ever want to make again.
Well, that doesn't mean you
342
00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:36,784
should stop trying. You're
right. You know, maybe if I had
343
00:19:36,914 --> 00:19:40,657
a beautiful woman like you in my
life, I'd be motivated to be a
344
00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:44,008
better man. Oh, P-bear.
345
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:49,275
[gasps]
346
00:19:49,405 --> 00:19:51,451
Had a bad dream, baby?
347
00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:53,975
[gasps]
348
00:19:55,629 --> 00:19:57,326
[relieved groan]
349
00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:03,637
False alarm. Go back to sleep,
little buddy.
350
00:20:05,943 --> 00:20:07,467
Okay. Big buddy.
351
00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:16,084
[grunting]
352
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,261
[panting]
353
00:20:19,392 --> 00:20:22,003
I'm actioning.
354
00:20:23,091 --> 00:20:26,660
So, is it done yet? Yes, the,
uh, installer just finished you
355
00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:30,316
with your... Son of a gun, why
is the word not coming out? The
356
00:20:30,446 --> 00:20:32,753
installer just finished with
your fancy new toilet. Yes.
357
00:20:32,883 --> 00:20:35,059
Here. Hey!
358
00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:37,192
[production crew laughing]
359
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:38,672
I know all the words now.
360
00:20:41,501 --> 00:20:45,983
All I needed was a kiss. All
right. Captioned byMedia Access
361
00:20:46,114 --> 00:20:47,420
Group at WGBHaccess.wgbh.org
362
00:20:47,470 --> 00:20:52,020
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