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1
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[whinnies]
2
00:00:02,820 --> 00:00:05,937
Hello. I'm Mr. Ed.
3
00:00:09,994 --> 00:00:12,122
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
4
00:00:12,146 --> 00:00:14,107
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
5
00:00:14,131 --> 00:00:16,125
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
6
00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:18,177
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
7
00:00:18,201 --> 00:00:20,413
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
8
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,465
♪ He'll give you the
answer that you'll endorse ♪
9
00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:24,250
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
10
00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:26,341
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
11
00:00:29,346 --> 00:00:31,725
[Woman on record]
J'ai le crayon.
12
00:00:31,749 --> 00:00:34,543
I have the pencil.
13
00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:37,080
J'ai le crayon.
14
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:39,415
[Ed] J'ai le crayon.
15
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:42,552
[Woman] You have the pencil.
16
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:45,438
Vous avez le crayon.
17
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:48,191
[Ed] Vous avez le crayon.
18
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:49,593
Hey, what's goin' on here?
19
00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:51,394
Oh, hello, chéri.
20
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:52,963
How are you?
21
00:00:52,987 --> 00:00:55,164
What's with the beret
and the phonograph?
22
00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:56,149
Where'd you get 'em?
23
00:00:56,173 --> 00:00:57,767
[French accent] I orders zem
24
00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:59,602
over ze telephone.
25
00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:00,853
I am thinking
26
00:01:00,877 --> 00:01:03,573
of taking ze trip
around ze world.
27
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:06,493
The only trip you're
taking is around ze stable.
28
00:01:06,517 --> 00:01:08,478
- [Ed mutters]
- A horse wanting to travel.
29
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:10,213
That's the most ridiculous
thing I ever heard of.
30
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:12,699
But I want to see Spain...
31
00:01:12,723 --> 00:01:15,485
- France... China.
- China?
32
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,309
- Mm-hmm.
- China coming up.
33
00:01:19,963 --> 00:01:21,130
[Ed chuckles]
34
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,767
Ah. Get in the rickshaw.
I'll be right with you.
35
00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:29,482
Ohh! Oh, hop in rickshaw, sir.
36
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,435
Uh, 25 yen first mile.
37
00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:34,271
I am very fast. Oh,
come on. Here we go.
38
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:37,073
Ohh. And here we
have Great Wall of China.
39
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,608
Here, on the left,
a carpet place.
40
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,512
And on the right,
we have the fa...
41
00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:43,346
I think you've flipped
your fortune cookie.
42
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:44,331
Hi, Roger.
43
00:01:44,355 --> 00:01:45,999
Well.
44
00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:48,684
What's new? You
still married to Kay?
45
00:01:48,708 --> 00:01:51,871
Wilbur. I don't understand
what goes on in here.
46
00:01:51,895 --> 00:01:53,522
Somehow, you're a different man
47
00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:54,891
once you come into this barn.
48
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:57,861
You talk to yourself.
You act strangely.
49
00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:59,362
Why don't you give up this place
50
00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:01,031
and get yourself an
office on the outside?
51
00:02:01,055 --> 00:02:03,271
I can't. I'm not well.
52
00:02:07,143 --> 00:02:08,137
[door closes]
53
00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:09,639
I'll see the world
54
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:11,674
if I have to join the Navy.
55
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,765
[telephone rings]
56
00:02:17,187 --> 00:02:18,381
[Ed] Hello?
57
00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:20,083
Hello. This is George Hausner
58
00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:22,351
from radio station WPXQ.
59
00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,487
What's on your mind, George?
60
00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:27,673
I'm calling for our
Giant Jackpot contest.
61
00:02:27,697 --> 00:02:29,542
Is this Mr., uh... Post?
62
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,544
How much is the prize?
63
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:32,612
$100.
64
00:02:32,636 --> 00:02:34,297
This is Mr. Post.
65
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:35,949
What's your question?
66
00:02:35,973 --> 00:02:39,452
Mr. Post, you have just
one minute to answer.
67
00:02:39,476 --> 00:02:42,639
Now, you may feel free to
use any books that you have.
68
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:43,890
Your friends can help you.
69
00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:47,077
Stop gabbin', George,
and ask the question.
70
00:02:47,101 --> 00:02:50,846
All right, Mr. Post. You
have one minute to answer.
71
00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:52,432
Can you tell us?
72
00:02:52,456 --> 00:02:54,918
What is the capital of Iceland?
73
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:57,219
[chuckles] That's easy.
74
00:02:57,243 --> 00:02:58,705
Uh, Reykjavik.
75
00:02:58,729 --> 00:03:00,774
Congratulations, Mr. Post.
76
00:03:00,798 --> 00:03:03,093
You have won a hundred dollars,
77
00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:04,477
and you are now eligible
78
00:03:04,501 --> 00:03:08,098
for our Giant Jackpot
$5,000 prize next week.
79
00:03:08,122 --> 00:03:10,450
$5,000!
80
00:03:10,474 --> 00:03:11,768
Ho ho!
81
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,119
Thank you!
82
00:03:13,143 --> 00:03:15,538
Thank you!
83
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,223
Those little Spanish fillies
84
00:03:17,247 --> 00:03:20,443
are practically
sitting on my lap now.
85
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,545
♪ La cucaracha ♪
86
00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:24,313
♪ La cucaracha ♪
87
00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:25,837
♪ La da dee day dee ♪
88
00:03:29,827 --> 00:03:31,437
Ohh!
89
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:32,822
What? What's the matter?
90
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,974
Why didn't you tell
me you won a contest?
91
00:03:34,998 --> 00:03:37,510
Oh, well, I... What contest?
92
00:03:37,534 --> 00:03:41,164
This contest. Oh,
you should've told me.
93
00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:44,801
Um... "Wilbur Post,
17 Valley Road...
94
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,585
"won contest...
95
00:03:46,609 --> 00:03:50,312
eligible for $5,000
final next week!"
96
00:03:52,049 --> 00:03:54,560
Uh, must be some
other Wilbur Post.
97
00:03:54,584 --> 00:03:56,863
Living at the same address?
98
00:03:56,887 --> 00:03:58,164
You've got a point there.
99
00:03:58,188 --> 00:04:00,833
Oh, dear, I'm so proud of you.
100
00:04:00,857 --> 00:04:02,935
Honey, I tell you, it wasn't me.
101
00:04:02,959 --> 00:04:04,304
I'm gonna call the
radio station and...
102
00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:06,077
It was me, buddy boy.
103
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:12,779
Had you fooled for a
minute, didn't I? [chuckles]
104
00:04:12,803 --> 00:04:13,918
[mutters, chuckles]
105
00:04:16,323 --> 00:04:19,052
Oh, Wilbur! How did you know
106
00:04:19,076 --> 00:04:21,420
that the capital of
Iceland was Reykjavik?
107
00:04:21,444 --> 00:04:23,523
It is? I mean, it is! Yes.
108
00:04:23,547 --> 00:04:26,242
Any school horse knows...
Any schoolboy knows that.
109
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,978
Well, how's our famous quiz kid?
110
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:29,879
Congratulations, my boy!
111
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,897
Isn't it wonderful?
Just imagine...
112
00:04:31,921 --> 00:04:35,735
If he answers this
question, we get $5,000!
113
00:04:35,759 --> 00:04:38,454
Two mink coats as the fur flies.
114
00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:42,725
Wilbur, uh... what
do you intend to do
115
00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:44,344
with the 5,000 if you win?
116
00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:46,663
Well, I really hadn't
thought about it.
117
00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:48,698
Well, we've always
wanted to travel.
118
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,199
But we never could afford it.
119
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:52,018
- Maybe we could
go to Europe.
- Sure.
120
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,820
And if we run out of
money in Copenhagen,
121
00:04:53,844 --> 00:04:57,106
I'll just pick up the phone
and win another 5,000.
122
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,691
Oh, I wish we could go along.
123
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,559
Why not? Money
was meant to be spent.
124
00:05:00,583 --> 00:05:01,928
Oh, I think it's a
wonderful idea.
125
00:05:01,952 --> 00:05:04,296
The four of us should have
a rousing time in Europe.
126
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:07,033
Sure! We'll spend
the 5,000 we won,
127
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,701
and then, with the 5,000
you're gonna spend,
128
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,525
we will have a rousing time!
129
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,312
You mean...
130
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,451
we're not going as your guests?
131
00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:20,847
Well, on second thought...
132
00:05:20,871 --> 00:05:21,898
let's see America first.
133
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,733
It's... It's more patriotic.
134
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,385
And cheaper.
135
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,403
Yeah.
136
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:27,387
Oh, honey.
137
00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:29,588
I always said you were smart.
138
00:05:29,612 --> 00:05:31,858
Wait till my family
read about your winning.
139
00:05:31,882 --> 00:05:34,077
My father always thought
you were a dumbbell.
140
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:37,146
Yeah, well, this'll
prove... He did?
141
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,881
Well! I bet he doesn't know
142
00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,717
that Reykjavik is the
capital of Sweden.
143
00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:41,967
[Roger, Carol] Iceland.
144
00:05:41,991 --> 00:05:43,770
Yeah, well, I just wanted to see
145
00:05:43,794 --> 00:05:45,704
if you were on
your toes. [laughs]
146
00:05:45,728 --> 00:05:47,907
Well, if you want me,
dear, I'll be in my office...
147
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:50,465
resting my brain. [laughs]
148
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:53,263
Ho ho!
149
00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:54,247
Oh, Wilbur.
150
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,499
Maybe you should start studying.
151
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,934
Who knows what question
they're gonna ask you next week.
152
00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:02,055
Just let them dial. I'll
be ready at my end.
153
00:06:02,079 --> 00:06:03,806
Ed? Oh, boy.
154
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:04,807
Ed, how did you do it?
155
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,609
Oh, it was nothing.
156
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:08,594
Look, start at the very
beginning. Tell me all about it.
157
00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:09,813
Nothing to tell.
158
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:11,547
The phone rang, I answered,
159
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:13,683
and please put the
hundred in my account.
160
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,968
[chuckles] Carol is so excited.
161
00:06:15,992 --> 00:06:18,671
You know, if we win that $5,000,
I'm gonna take her to Europe.
162
00:06:18,695 --> 00:06:21,074
Sure. We can't leave her here.
163
00:06:21,098 --> 00:06:22,842
- Let's take her with us.
- What?
164
00:06:22,866 --> 00:06:25,444
And we'll travel first class.
165
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:28,548
I don't like to mix
with the hoi polloi.
166
00:06:28,572 --> 00:06:31,384
Ed, forget about it. We
can't take a horse along.
167
00:06:31,408 --> 00:06:33,786
Now, hold it, mac.
168
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,121
Who's takin' whom?
169
00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:38,108
I answered the phone last night.
170
00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:39,526
Yeah, but you used my name.
171
00:06:39,550 --> 00:06:41,666
But I used my brain.
172
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:46,131
Well, we'll try to work
something out, Ed.
173
00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:48,239
Meanwhile, I'd
better start boning up.
174
00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:54,179
Wilbur.
175
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:56,926
I've been thinking.
176
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,379
When that phone rings next
week, you may get stage fright.
177
00:06:59,403 --> 00:07:01,263
They may ask you a
perfectly simple question,
178
00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:03,933
like, "Who was the 13th
president of the United States?"
179
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,935
You can't answer. The next day,
180
00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:08,240
millions of people are
going to be laughing at you.
181
00:07:10,447 --> 00:07:13,309
Why is your horse
wearing this Tyrolean hat?
182
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:16,595
Oh. Well, I let him eat a piece
of my Swiss cheese sandwich,
183
00:07:16,619 --> 00:07:20,015
and it went to his
head. [chuckles]
184
00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:21,939
You were right. You aren't well.
185
00:07:25,129 --> 00:07:26,122
[sputtering]
186
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:27,146
Ed.
187
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:36,933
The, um, 13th president.
188
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,023
Abraham Lincoln?
189
00:07:39,142 --> 00:07:40,142
Andrew Jackson.
190
00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:43,622
Zachary Taylor?
191
00:07:43,646 --> 00:07:45,291
Try Mickey Mouse.
192
00:07:45,315 --> 00:07:46,576
Who was it?
193
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,410
Millard Fillmore.
194
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:51,731
Born January 7, 1800. Died...
195
00:07:51,755 --> 00:07:53,933
All right, don't rub it in.
196
00:07:53,957 --> 00:07:56,986
Ed, I'll feel like a fool if
I miss an easy question.
197
00:07:57,010 --> 00:08:00,073
And you can't help me because
Carol and the Addisons will be with me.
198
00:08:00,097 --> 00:08:02,308
Well, don't worry about that.
199
00:08:02,332 --> 00:08:05,027
Just cancel all your
engagements this week.
200
00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:06,012
What for?
201
00:08:06,036 --> 00:08:08,147
I'm gonna coach you.
202
00:08:08,171 --> 00:08:10,166
Ed, I would really
appreciate it.
203
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:13,019
Cut the corn. Just
repeat after me...
204
00:08:13,043 --> 00:08:16,422
George Washington,
born February 22nd...
205
00:08:16,446 --> 00:08:18,891
Carol, be sensible.
Is it worth it?
206
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,260
Your husband is driving
himself to exhaustion.
207
00:08:21,284 --> 00:08:23,095
He's been studying
every night this week.
208
00:08:23,119 --> 00:08:24,697
He hasn't slept. He's
been skipping meals.
209
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:25,721
He's been...
210
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:31,270
Wilbur... you look tired.
211
00:08:31,294 --> 00:08:32,772
Can I get you some coffee?
212
00:08:32,796 --> 00:08:34,224
Coffee. Brazil.
213
00:08:34,248 --> 00:08:38,027
Area: 3,288,050 square miles.
214
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,763
He's a walking zombie.
215
00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:43,949
Honey, you skipped dinner.
Can I fix you a turkey sandwich?
216
00:08:43,973 --> 00:08:46,535
Turkey. Republic since 1923.
217
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:49,955
Bordered on the west by Greece,
Bulgaria, and the Aegean Sea.
218
00:08:49,979 --> 00:08:52,375
Look what he's going
through to win this contest.
219
00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:54,544
And you want him to throw
away that prize money.
220
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:56,879
Money: The international
rate of exchange.
221
00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:59,015
In Greece, the currency
unit is the drachma.
222
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,583
In Guatemala, it's the quetzal.
223
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:02,051
In Honduras, it's the lempira.
224
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:05,905
In Iceland, it...
Iceland, it's...
225
00:09:05,929 --> 00:09:07,690
Dried fish.
226
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:10,894
Oh, Addison, why don't
you leave him alone?
227
00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:14,280
A loan: The act of lending, or a
sum of money lent for interest.
228
00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:15,765
See "Interest."
229
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:18,250
Honey, maybe you've
studied enough tonight.
230
00:09:18,274 --> 00:09:21,154
Hmm? No. I've got a lot
more reading to do, dear.
231
00:09:21,178 --> 00:09:23,244
If you want me,
I'll be in the barn.
232
00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:28,244
Darling, the barn's over here.
233
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,308
Good morning, Roger.
Good morning, Kay.
234
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:34,584
9:00 at night, and he
says "Good morning"?
235
00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:36,119
Is this worth a trip to Europe?
236
00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:38,654
Europe: A continent
with adjacent islands.
237
00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:41,307
[continues indistinct]
238
00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:43,697
[humming]
239
00:09:49,973 --> 00:09:51,923
[continues humming]
240
00:09:55,978 --> 00:09:57,790
[clatter]
241
00:09:57,814 --> 00:10:00,910
Uh, get your thinkin'
cap on, amigo.
242
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,295
We're doin' Spain.
243
00:10:02,319 --> 00:10:03,329
Yes, master.
244
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:05,147
What is the capital?
245
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:07,939
[yawning] The cap...
The cap... capital of Spain.
246
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:10,603
The capital of Spain...
247
00:10:10,627 --> 00:10:12,507
let's see... [mutters sleepily]
248
00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:16,075
Oh, Ed. Ed, it's no
use. I'm worn out.
249
00:10:16,099 --> 00:10:18,344
Shall I give you a massage?
250
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,313
Ed, it won't help.
251
00:10:20,337 --> 00:10:22,332
When that phone rings tomorrow,
252
00:10:22,356 --> 00:10:25,167
I'll... I'll be too tired
to think of the answer.
253
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:27,219
And with Carol and
Addison in the room with me,
254
00:10:27,243 --> 00:10:28,854
you won't be able to help me.
255
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,377
Oh, yes, I will.
256
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:33,926
Ed. You mean...
257
00:10:33,950 --> 00:10:35,644
you're gonna talk
in front of everyone?
258
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:40,455
No. It's gonna be just you
and me in this barn, chum.
259
00:10:43,193 --> 00:10:44,637
Mmm. Here.
260
00:10:44,661 --> 00:10:47,006
How far is the earth
from the moon?
261
00:10:47,030 --> 00:10:48,841
[birds chirping]
262
00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:51,961
Uh, 250,000 miles.
263
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,830
Right. Uh, what year
was Lincoln assassinated?
264
00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:57,149
1865.
265
00:10:57,173 --> 00:10:58,533
The month?
266
00:10:58,557 --> 00:10:59,568
April.
267
00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:00,853
The day?
268
00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:02,671
The 14th.
269
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:04,991
Do you want to know
what Abe had for dinner?
270
00:11:05,015 --> 00:11:06,875
[laughs]
271
00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:08,911
Oh, we're a cinch
to win tonight, Ed.
272
00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:10,846
Mmm. Then I'll...
273
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:12,965
I'll take you on the
continent. All over.
274
00:11:12,989 --> 00:11:15,151
Oh, we'll eat like a king.
275
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,004
In Italy, it'll be hay parmesan.
276
00:11:18,028 --> 00:11:20,005
And France... oats Suzette.
277
00:11:20,029 --> 00:11:22,425
And Germany...
carrots Weiner schnitzel.
278
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:25,495
[laughs] Oh, that's
what I call eating.
279
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,112
Wilbur, you've been
around that horse so long,
280
00:11:27,136 --> 00:11:28,480
you're starting to eat like one.
281
00:11:28,504 --> 00:11:29,698
Hi, Roger. Pull up a chair.
282
00:11:29,722 --> 00:11:30,683
Thanks.
283
00:11:30,707 --> 00:11:32,151
Uh, have a grape.
284
00:11:32,175 --> 00:11:33,819
No. No, no, no.
285
00:11:33,843 --> 00:11:36,522
Wilbur. I've come
to appeal to you.
286
00:11:36,546 --> 00:11:38,307
If you answer that
question correctly tonight,
287
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:39,942
you may break up
a happy marriage.
288
00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:42,111
Oh, no. Carol loves me.
289
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,879
I'm talking about
my own marriage.
290
00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:45,064
I'm gonna be frank with you.
291
00:11:45,088 --> 00:11:47,099
I'm not as well
off as Kay thinks.
292
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,934
And if she goes on a
spending spree in Europe,
293
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,119
I'll come home a pauper.
294
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:52,938
Please. I happen to
know you are loaded.
295
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:55,374
Why don't you want to take your
wife on a trip through Europe?
296
00:11:55,398 --> 00:11:57,576
Because I'm not only
loaded, I'm stingy.
297
00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,929
Wilber? This is Mr. Hausner
298
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,280
from the Giant Jackpot show.
299
00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:03,716
- Oh, don't get up,
Mr. Post.
- Thank you.
300
00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:05,801
Mr. Hausner, this is my
neighbor, Mr. Addison.
301
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:06,803
Mr. Addison.
302
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:07,803
How do you do?
303
00:12:07,827 --> 00:12:09,788
If you'll excuse me, I
have an appointment
304
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:11,123
with the bankruptcy board.
305
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,142
Honey, Mr. Hausner's
here to give you
306
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:14,343
last-minute instructions.
307
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:15,628
That's right, Mr. Post.
308
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,797
I want to make
sure, first of all,
309
00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:19,164
that you'll be home at 9:00
310
00:12:19,188 --> 00:12:21,250
when we make that
big telephone call.
311
00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:24,036
Oh, don't you worry.
I'll be here. [chuckles]
312
00:12:24,060 --> 00:12:26,855
Honey, would you wake
me at, oh, about 5 to 9?
313
00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:29,158
I'll be taking a little nap.
314
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:30,643
Isn't he confident?
315
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,562
Do you know he has barely
looked at a book in two days.
316
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,948
Well, once I read
something, I never forget it.
317
00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:38,317
I have total recall.
318
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:40,052
Total recall? [snickers]
319
00:12:40,076 --> 00:12:42,493
He can't remember
what he ate today.
320
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,675
Just one more
reminder, Mr. Post.
321
00:12:45,699 --> 00:12:47,610
You'll have one minute
to answer the question.
322
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:50,662
Now, then. Feel free to
use any reference books.
323
00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:52,932
Your friends or your
wife can help you.
324
00:12:52,956 --> 00:12:54,967
No, thank you. I don't
need anybody with me.
325
00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:58,904
You certainly have the
most amazing confidence.
326
00:12:58,928 --> 00:13:01,340
I just left your
competitor, Carl Schultz,
327
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:02,591
at his grocery store,
328
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,161
and you've never seen
a more nervous man.
329
00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:08,485
Well, some people have
it, and some people don't.
330
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:13,653
He's pretty smart
with my brains.
331
00:13:13,677 --> 00:13:15,421
Well, good luck, Mr. Post.
332
00:13:15,445 --> 00:13:16,905
Thanks, but I won't need it.
333
00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:17,956
[Hausner chuckles]
334
00:13:17,980 --> 00:13:19,491
Oh. Did, uh...
335
00:13:19,515 --> 00:13:22,261
did I leave my briefcase in
your living room, Mrs. Post?
336
00:13:22,285 --> 00:13:24,780
Briefcase? No.
You didn't have any.
337
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,483
Oh. Uh, I must've
left it somewhere.
338
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:30,753
Well, remember, you'll
have just 60 seconds
339
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:32,037
to come up with
the right answer.
340
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:34,957
60 seconds for a simple
geography question.
341
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:38,544
Hmm. I wonder what I'll
do with the extra 59. [laughs]
342
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:39,828
[Hausner laughs]
343
00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:41,564
Here. I'll show you
out, Mr. Hausner.
344
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:42,588
Thank you.
345
00:13:44,674 --> 00:13:46,607
♪♪ [comedic]
346
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:50,405
Carl.
347
00:13:50,429 --> 00:13:52,557
Do you think it's all right
348
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:53,608
to come back here?
349
00:13:53,632 --> 00:13:55,110
Nobody answered the front door.
350
00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:56,629
Maybe there's
somebody back here.
351
00:13:56,653 --> 00:13:58,998
But, Carl, maybe we should
bring Mr. Hausner's briefcase
352
00:13:59,022 --> 00:14:00,349
to his radio station.
353
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:01,617
He must be looking for it.
354
00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,602
But he told us he
will be coming here.
355
00:14:03,626 --> 00:14:05,604
Maybe there's somebody
back in the barn.
356
00:14:05,628 --> 00:14:06,628
Let's look.
357
00:14:15,471 --> 00:14:17,116
Nobody answers.
358
00:14:17,140 --> 00:14:18,601
Oh, uh... [chuckles]
359
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,386
What a beautiful horse.
360
00:14:20,410 --> 00:14:22,504
Carl, if you are lucky
enough to win the contest,
361
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,791
could we buy a little farm
and a nice horse like that?
362
00:14:25,815 --> 00:14:28,294
There you go,
dreaming again, Freda.
363
00:14:28,318 --> 00:14:30,880
People like us
don't have such luck.
364
00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:33,148
I guess you are right.
365
00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:35,584
Look at this beautiful house.
366
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,487
He must be a very
smart man, that architect.
367
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:40,372
Yes, Freda, he must be.
368
00:14:40,396 --> 00:14:42,975
Carl, if we are lucky
enough, if we win,
369
00:14:42,999 --> 00:14:45,094
maybe we can send for my mother.
370
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:47,529
I haven't seen her in 33 years.
371
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:50,950
We'll see, Freda.
We'll see. Come on.
372
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:54,169
33 years?
373
00:14:54,193 --> 00:14:58,374
That's a long time
not to see your mother.
374
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,008
[snorts softly]
375
00:15:00,032 --> 00:15:01,032
[choked up]
376
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:04,180
[sniffles] Oh, those Schultzes
377
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:05,552
are gonna need some help.
378
00:15:08,791 --> 00:15:10,786
Carol, shouldn't
you be waking him?
379
00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:12,338
They'll be calling
in a few minutes.
380
00:15:12,362 --> 00:15:15,274
Oh, Addison, doll, you do
want Wilbur to win after all.
381
00:15:15,298 --> 00:15:17,259
Well, nobody wants to
live next door to a loser.
382
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:18,793
Oh, Roger, you'll love Europe.
383
00:15:18,817 --> 00:15:21,096
Of course! They say
travel is very broadening.
384
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,065
When it comes to money,
it can be very flattening.
385
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,134
Wilbur! It's time!
386
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,357
Coming, dear.
387
00:15:29,578 --> 00:15:33,476
Honey, guess what. If you win,
Roger is coming to Europe with us.
388
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,116
Well!
389
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:39,436
We'll come down the
stairs and say hello to you.
390
00:15:40,489 --> 00:15:42,134
Honey.
391
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:44,419
Are you sure you don't want
us to go to the barn with you?
392
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:45,938
[Kay] We could look for
the answer in the books.
393
00:15:45,962 --> 00:15:48,796
I'm an expert page turner.
I used to date a librarian.
394
00:15:50,132 --> 00:15:52,979
Thank you, thank you.
That won't be necessary.
395
00:15:53,003 --> 00:15:56,204
At a time like this, I should
be alone with my thoughts.
396
00:15:57,857 --> 00:16:01,319
I'm a lucky girl to be married
to such a brilliant man.
397
00:16:01,343 --> 00:16:04,340
Well, um, Addison may
not be smart, sweetie,
398
00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:05,674
but, uh, he's loaded.
399
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,209
[doorbell]
400
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:09,383
Oh, what a time for company.
401
00:16:12,955 --> 00:16:14,617
- Mrs. Post?
- That's right.
402
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,618
I'm Charley Grant from
the Giant Jackpot show.
403
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,842
I'm here to take some
pictures of your husband.
404
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,225
Ed, in a few minutes,
that phone's gonna ring.
405
00:16:23,249 --> 00:16:25,711
You'll give the answer, and
soon you'll be serenading
406
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:28,297
a Spanish filly under
her stable window.
407
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:29,999
Pull up a chair, Wilbur.
408
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:31,450
For you or me?
409
00:16:31,474 --> 00:16:34,185
Wilbur, there comes
a time in your life
410
00:16:34,209 --> 00:16:36,421
when you have
to make sacrifices.
411
00:16:36,445 --> 00:16:37,439
What do you mean?
412
00:16:37,463 --> 00:16:40,526
33 years is a long, long time
413
00:16:40,550 --> 00:16:42,127
not to see your old mother.
414
00:16:42,151 --> 00:16:43,779
What are you talking about?
415
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:45,481
- Mr. Post?
- Yes?
416
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,483
I'm Charley Grant
from Giant Jackpot.
417
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,418
Oh, yes. Well, would you
mind waiting in the house?
418
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,187
I'm expecting a call
in a few seconds.
419
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:54,139
Well, that's why I'm here.
I'm gonna take your picture.
420
00:16:54,163 --> 00:16:56,908
Oh. Well, why don't
you take it after I win?
421
00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:58,310
I'll have a bigger
smile on my face.
422
00:16:58,334 --> 00:17:00,129
Well, no. I'd lose my
job if I didn't get a shot
423
00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:01,247
of you on the phone.
424
00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:03,270
[telephone rings]
425
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,618
You'd better
answer it, Mr. Post.
426
00:17:06,642 --> 00:17:08,137
That's 5,000 bucks.
427
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:11,940
Yeah. Oh, yes. Uh...
- Uh...
- [ring]
428
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,831
Well. [chuckles]
429
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:20,549
Uh... hello?
430
00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:23,035
Mr. Post, you have 60 seconds
431
00:17:23,059 --> 00:17:26,154
to answer our Giant
Jackpot question.
432
00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:27,840
For $5,000,
433
00:17:27,864 --> 00:17:31,398
in what ocean are the
Cape Verde Islands?
434
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:36,103
The... Cape Verde Islands?
435
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:43,844
The Cape Verde Islands?
436
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:49,633
Cape... Verde... Islands.
437
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:51,952
J-Just a minute!
438
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:56,468
Help! Roger, help!
439
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,641
Kay! Help!
440
00:17:58,861 --> 00:18:01,162
Geography. Where's
the geography book?
441
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:03,759
Hold on, hold on.
442
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,593
Geography. Come
on, where are you?
443
00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:06,912
Wait, wait. I...
444
00:18:06,936 --> 00:18:08,816
Geography. Excuse me. Geography.
445
00:18:10,356 --> 00:18:11,356
Geography.
446
00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:14,720
Geography,
geography. Where is it?
447
00:18:14,744 --> 00:18:16,572
Oh. Wilbur. What's
the matter, huh?
448
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,173
- What's the matter?
- What's wrong?
- Wilbur! What's happened?
449
00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:20,464
Where are the
Cape Verde Islands?
450
00:18:21,617 --> 00:18:23,262
Oh, no.
451
00:18:23,286 --> 00:18:24,713
Addison, tell him!
452
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:27,599
- Ohh...
- [Roger stammering]
453
00:18:27,623 --> 00:18:29,134
Wilbur, the book. Which
book would have it?
454
00:18:29,158 --> 00:18:31,386
The geography book! Help
me find the geography book!
455
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:32,788
[Roger] Geography book.
456
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,612
Yeah, just... just a minute!
457
00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:36,658
- Geography book!
- Don't stand there!
458
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:38,827
- [overlapping
panicky chatter]
- Look over there!
459
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:42,414
Mr. Post, you have
just 20 seconds.
460
00:18:42,438 --> 00:18:45,951
19... 18... Hurry!
461
00:18:45,975 --> 00:18:47,469
It's got to be here somewhere!
462
00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:49,137
- [Hausner] 15... 14...
- Under this! Under...
463
00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:52,624
13... 12...
- Quiet!
- 11...
464
00:18:52,648 --> 00:18:56,628
10... 9... 8... 7...
465
00:18:56,652 --> 00:18:58,670
- The Cape Verde
Islands - 6... are...
466
00:19:00,823 --> 00:19:02,117
in the Pacific Ocean?
467
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,769
No, I'm sorry, Mr. Post.
468
00:19:04,793 --> 00:19:06,727
They're in the North Atlantic.
469
00:19:10,433 --> 00:19:11,527
I was wrong.
470
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:13,278
They're in the North Atlantic.
471
00:19:13,302 --> 00:19:15,014
Just... Just slightly off.
472
00:19:15,038 --> 00:19:16,038
How far?
473
00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:19,185
$5,000 worth.
474
00:19:19,209 --> 00:19:20,209
Mr. Post.
475
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:23,210
How about a big smile?
476
00:19:25,114 --> 00:19:28,154
Wouldn't you rather have an
honest picture of a man crying?
477
00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:31,597
Thanks a lot.
Better luck next time.
478
00:19:31,621 --> 00:19:33,565
Oh, Addison.
479
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:34,950
Don't you fret, my dear.
480
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:37,620
I'll take you on
a trip real soon.
481
00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:41,122
Where to, Big Daddy? Cucamonga?
482
00:19:41,146 --> 00:19:43,708
Why don't you kids come
over for coffee in a few minutes.
483
00:19:43,732 --> 00:19:46,684
I should be over my
nervous breakdown by then.
484
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:54,686
Aw, never mind, honey.
485
00:19:54,710 --> 00:19:56,655
We'll take a trip someday.
486
00:19:56,679 --> 00:19:58,974
Yeah, but not to the
Cape Verde Islands.
487
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:01,210
Why don't you give Kay a
hand. I'll be right in, dear.
488
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:02,234
All right.
489
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:07,037
[sighs]
490
00:20:10,993 --> 00:20:12,637
Ed, why did you turn
your back on me?
491
00:20:12,661 --> 00:20:13,789
It wasn't my fault.
492
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:14,973
I know you were looking forward
493
00:20:14,997 --> 00:20:16,408
to taking this
trip, but I couldn't
494
00:20:16,432 --> 00:20:17,859
get rid of the photographer.
495
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,411
And about that geography book.
496
00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:21,555
What do you suppose
could've happened to it?
497
00:20:24,189 --> 00:20:25,306
There, there.
498
00:20:27,109 --> 00:20:29,888
Ed! Why did you hide it?
499
00:20:29,912 --> 00:20:31,523
I mean... we might've won!
500
00:20:31,547 --> 00:20:33,858
I did it for Carl and Freda.
501
00:20:33,882 --> 00:20:36,762
Carl and Freda? Who are they?
502
00:20:36,786 --> 00:20:39,064
Well, that's a long story.
503
00:20:39,088 --> 00:20:42,233
As I said, there comes
a time in your life
504
00:20:42,257 --> 00:20:45,087
when you have
to make sacrifices.
505
00:20:45,111 --> 00:20:46,405
This old couple...
506
00:20:46,429 --> 00:20:49,607
she hasn't seen her
mother in 33 years.
507
00:20:49,631 --> 00:20:51,665
I just felt terrible about it.
508
00:20:53,719 --> 00:20:55,831
Ed, here's a picture
of the Schultzes
509
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:57,716
accepting the $5,000.
510
00:20:57,740 --> 00:20:59,440
They're cute.
511
00:21:00,626 --> 00:21:03,388
You're not sore at
me, are you, Wilbur?
512
00:21:03,412 --> 00:21:05,006
Oh, of course not.
513
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:06,274
That was a nice thing you did,
514
00:21:06,298 --> 00:21:07,909
making it possible
for Mrs. Schultz
515
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,378
to bring her mother over.
516
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:11,897
Yeah, I always was a softie.
517
00:21:11,921 --> 00:21:15,634
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
518
00:21:15,658 --> 00:21:17,770
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
519
00:21:17,794 --> 00:21:19,721
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
520
00:21:19,745 --> 00:21:21,490
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
521
00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:23,542
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
522
00:21:23,566 --> 00:21:25,527
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
523
00:21:25,551 --> 00:21:27,412
♪ He'll give you the
answer that you'll endorse ♪
524
00:21:27,436 --> 00:21:29,598
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
525
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,416
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
526
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:33,218
♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪
527
00:21:33,242 --> 00:21:35,053
♪ And waste your time of day ♪
528
00:21:35,077 --> 00:21:36,989
♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪
529
00:21:37,013 --> 00:21:39,007
♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪
530
00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:40,976
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
531
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,845
♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪
532
00:21:42,869 --> 00:21:45,002
♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪
533
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,850
♪ Well, listen to this ♪
534
00:21:48,874 --> 00:21:51,958
[Mister Ed] ♪ I am Mister Ed ♪
535
00:21:56,382 --> 00:21:59,382
[Man] This has been a
Filmways television presentation.
36196
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