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1
00:00:01,818 --> 00:00:03,985
[whinnies]
2
00:00:04,054 --> 00:00:06,905
Hello, I'm Mr. Ed.
3
00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:13,990
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
4
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,993
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
5
00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:18,249
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
6
00:00:18,318 --> 00:00:20,318
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
7
00:00:20,387 --> 00:00:22,298
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
8
00:00:22,322 --> 00:00:23,483
♪ He'll give you the answer ♪
9
00:00:23,507 --> 00:00:24,856
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
10
00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:26,703
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
11
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:28,527
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
12
00:00:34,852 --> 00:00:37,602
Gee, it's hot in here.
13
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,738
I'm comfortable.
14
00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:40,822
Not me.
15
00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:47,095
Boy, it's hot.
16
00:00:47,164 --> 00:00:48,613
Why don't you open a window?
17
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:50,031
Okay.
18
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,633
But it's not going to help.
19
00:00:51,701 --> 00:00:55,604
It's just as hot
outside as it is inside.
20
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:01,793
Now it's even hotter.
21
00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:07,433
[phone rings}
22
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:09,867
Ed, you are leading
up to something.
23
00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:12,170
Whatever it is,
you're not getting it.
24
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,722
Hello?
25
00:01:13,791 --> 00:01:15,257
Yes, this is Mr. Post.
26
00:01:15,326 --> 00:01:16,608
Who?
27
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,159
Acme Plumbing?
28
00:01:18,228 --> 00:01:19,439
[Mr. Ed] Uh-oh.
29
00:01:19,463 --> 00:01:21,463
I didn't order any
shower for my barn.
30
00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:28,053
Uh, no, thank you.
31
00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:29,755
Good-bye.
32
00:01:34,645 --> 00:01:38,430
You think the Dodgers
have got a chance this year?
33
00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:42,234
Ed, who gave you permission
to order a shower for the barn?
34
00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:45,270
I think the Dodgers have
got a chance this year.
35
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:46,354
Ed.
36
00:01:46,423 --> 00:01:48,906
The Dodgers think
they got a chance... Ed!
37
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:50,704
Do you know how
much a shower costs?
38
00:01:50,728 --> 00:01:52,995
Take it out of my hay.
39
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,081
Who ever heard about
a shower in a barn?
40
00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:59,851
Why, a horse invented the idea.
41
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:03,004
It's called a stall shower.
42
00:02:03,073 --> 00:02:06,224
Well, if it gets hot,
I'll hose you down.
43
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,927
You never hose your wife down.
44
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:12,842
Even if I were silly enough
to put a shower in here,
45
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,482
we couldn't afford it right now.
46
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:15,833
[phone rings]
47
00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:18,220
Leave that phone alone, Ed.
48
00:02:18,288 --> 00:02:20,138
We don't need a shower.
49
00:02:20,191 --> 00:02:22,957
Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Reynolds.
50
00:02:23,026 --> 00:02:24,637
I thought you were
somebody else.
51
00:02:24,661 --> 00:02:25,944
[chuckles]
52
00:02:27,130 --> 00:02:28,246
Um, what do you think
53
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,435
about my plans for
your apartment building?
54
00:02:31,635 --> 00:02:34,653
Ah, well, I did a
pretty good job, I think,
55
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:36,681
and it will save
you a lot of money.
56
00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:39,491
You'll let me know.
57
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:40,958
Thank you, Mr. Reynolds.
58
00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:42,110
Bye.
59
00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:44,513
Bad news?
60
00:02:44,582 --> 00:02:46,759
I've been trying to get
Reynolds to let me build
61
00:02:46,783 --> 00:02:48,344
his apartment building
for a month now.
62
00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:49,634
I know he likes my plans,
63
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:52,004
but I just can't persuade
him to get started.
64
00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:54,238
You know what your
trouble is, my boy?
65
00:02:54,307 --> 00:02:55,424
Your face.
66
00:02:57,161 --> 00:02:59,022
Why, I can't go
anywhere without it.
67
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:01,996
No, I mean... You've
got a baby face.
68
00:03:02,065 --> 00:03:03,776
And when people are
investing a lot of money,
69
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,668
they feel safer with a
man who is more mature.
70
00:03:06,737 --> 00:03:10,639
Do you think a little moustache
like yours might help?
71
00:03:10,708 --> 00:03:12,307
It wouldn't hurt, my boy.
72
00:03:12,376 --> 00:03:13,636
When I'm at one
of those meetings
73
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:16,495
and stroke my
moustache thoughtfully,
74
00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:19,281
everybody stops and waits for
me to say something profound.
75
00:03:19,349 --> 00:03:22,700
Dignity, maturity.
76
00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:24,335
Can I try on your jacket, Roger?
77
00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:26,020
Sure.
78
00:03:26,089 --> 00:03:27,822
With a moustache and my tailor,
79
00:03:27,891 --> 00:03:30,069
people will stand up when
you come into a room.
80
00:03:30,093 --> 00:03:31,376
[Wilbur chuckles]
81
00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:32,694
Ooh.
82
00:03:32,763 --> 00:03:34,843
Beginning to feel more
successful already.
83
00:03:36,166 --> 00:03:38,500
My dignity's a
little full in the back.
84
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:40,720
Hmm.
85
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:53,881
How do I look?
86
00:03:53,950 --> 00:03:55,534
Splendid.
87
00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,035
[both chuckle]
88
00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:58,386
Great.
89
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,843
You must have spoken
to the wrong party.
90
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,579
This is Mr. Post.
91
00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:11,432
And I did not cancel the
order for the barn shower.
92
00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:15,887
Sorry, wrong number.
93
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:21,259
Edward,
94
00:04:21,312 --> 00:04:24,445
I told you, you are
not getting that shower.
95
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:27,666
Oh, my aching back.
96
00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:32,154
You look like Addison,
and you're twice as grouchy.
97
00:04:32,222 --> 00:04:33,972
You know why I'm doing this.
98
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,441
I've got to look older.
99
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:38,410
Gee.
100
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:41,162
Well, if I make enough money,
101
00:04:41,231 --> 00:04:42,925
maybe I will get
you that shower.
102
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:46,484
I don't think that silly
moustache will do it.
103
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:49,637
Why are you complaining
about a few extra hairs?
104
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,189
You got a tail.
105
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:55,359
But I can use mine to
swish flies off my back.
106
00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:56,378
That's enough.
107
00:04:56,446 --> 00:04:59,430
Trigger not only has a shower,
108
00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,499
he has a sunken bathtub.
109
00:05:04,988 --> 00:05:06,483
You earn as much
money as Trigger,
110
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,217
and I'll buy you
a swimming pool.
111
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:10,274
[Mr. Ed] Oh.
112
00:05:11,995 --> 00:05:13,311
Hi, Kay. Come on in.
113
00:05:13,364 --> 00:05:15,897
Hi, sweetie. Oh, you
missed a big sale at Mayfair's.
114
00:05:15,965 --> 00:05:17,015
What did you buy?
115
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:18,466
Who cares? They were bargains.
116
00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:23,165
Kay, do you always buy
things you don't need?
117
00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:24,784
Well, sure. If I ever
happen to need them,
118
00:05:24,808 --> 00:05:26,941
they may not be on sale.
119
00:05:27,010 --> 00:05:28,687
If I weren't having so
much trouble with Wilbur,
120
00:05:28,711 --> 00:05:29,661
I'd laugh.
121
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,546
Oh, how is Wilbur?
122
00:05:31,615 --> 00:05:33,248
Just impossible.
123
00:05:33,316 --> 00:05:34,699
Since he grew that moustache,
124
00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:36,767
he's been trying to
be another Roger.
125
00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:39,688
Well, sweetie, the
world isn't ready for two.
126
00:05:39,757 --> 00:05:41,989
I feel like I'm
married to a stranger.
127
00:05:42,058 --> 00:05:43,791
I've had that feeling for years.
128
00:05:43,860 --> 00:05:45,377
You know something?
129
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:48,430
It's that moustache that's
changed his whole personality.
130
00:05:48,498 --> 00:05:50,498
Shh. Hold it down.
131
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,607
- [door closes]
- Here comes fuzzy wuzzy.
132
00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:58,690
Good morning, ladies.
133
00:06:01,078 --> 00:06:02,078
Good morning?
134
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:03,278
Good morning.
135
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:13,871
I'm sorry I missed you
at breakfast, my dear.
136
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:16,558
You just missed me again.
137
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:19,360
I fail to see the
humor in that remark.
138
00:06:19,429 --> 00:06:21,173
Now if you'll ladies
will excuse me,
139
00:06:21,197 --> 00:06:23,598
I have work to
attend to in my office.
140
00:06:23,667 --> 00:06:27,402
I feel very... profound.
141
00:06:29,339 --> 00:06:31,940
Wilbur Post, this is ridiculous.
142
00:06:32,008 --> 00:06:33,841
Stop trying to act like Roger
143
00:06:33,910 --> 00:06:36,611
and shave off that
silly cookie-duster.
144
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,680
My dear...
145
00:06:38,748 --> 00:06:42,166
You look like you're
peeking at me over a hedge.
146
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:45,486
My dear, I'm not
imitating anybody.
147
00:06:46,756 --> 00:06:47,872
Excuse me, ladies.
148
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,143
It's frightening.
149
00:06:52,211 --> 00:06:54,390
He even walks like Addison.
Is he getting cheaper, too?
150
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,115
No, his moustache hasn't
gone to his wallet yet.
151
00:06:57,183 --> 00:06:58,761
Well, honey,
maybe it will help him
152
00:06:58,785 --> 00:07:00,468
get more jobs as an architect.
153
00:07:00,537 --> 00:07:02,270
I don't care about the money.
154
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:03,922
I married Wilbur.
155
00:07:03,974 --> 00:07:07,558
And I don't like that... that
stranger who just walked out.
156
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:08,543
Look, honey.
157
00:07:08,612 --> 00:07:10,328
I've got an idea.
158
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:12,341
I think I know how to
snap him out of this.
159
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:13,765
Fight fire with fire.
160
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:16,001
You mean, I should
burn it off him?
161
00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:17,352
He changed his personality...
162
00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:19,420
Why don't you change yours?
163
00:07:19,489 --> 00:07:21,139
I don't understand.
164
00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:22,540
Well, if he can be Addison,
165
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,125
then you can be me.
166
00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:26,661
And I can be pretty awful. Huh?
167
00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:29,281
Huh?
168
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:30,431
[both giggle]
169
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,840
Kay, do you think
I look all right?
170
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:41,509
Oh, you look perfect.
Just like a fashion ad.
171
00:07:41,578 --> 00:07:44,395
Now, here. Hold these boxes
as if you own all the contents.
172
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,814
There you are. Now be put.
173
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,122
Don't bounce your head, Carol.
174
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,711
You look so much
better when you're poised.
175
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,680
Show dignity. Dignity
when you walk.
176
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,153
Quiet... That's the whole thing.
177
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:53,505
Quiet. Go.
178
00:07:57,027 --> 00:07:59,577
Kay, I don't think I can
go through with this.
179
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,746
Oh, sure you can.
180
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,464
Now, don't forget you're me.
181
00:08:03,533 --> 00:08:05,132
Just breeze into that barn
182
00:08:05,201 --> 00:08:07,268
and be as miserable
as I know how.
183
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,577
Hello, Post, doll.
184
00:08:24,554 --> 00:08:27,122
Well, what are those packages?
185
00:08:27,190 --> 00:08:28,801
Oh, there was a
sale at the Mayfair
186
00:08:28,825 --> 00:08:30,925
and I just bought,
bought, bought.
187
00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:34,545
What did you buy, buy, buy?
188
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:35,764
Who cares, angel?
189
00:08:35,832 --> 00:08:38,316
It was a bargain,
and Kay always...
190
00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:42,988
I mean, I always... I
mean, she always...
191
00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:48,343
My dear, don't you
think you're being...
192
00:08:48,412 --> 00:08:49,861
just a little obvious?
193
00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:52,513
Oh, Wilbur, please
shave that thing off
194
00:08:52,582 --> 00:08:54,399
and be yourself again.
195
00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:56,918
My dear, I explained to you
196
00:08:56,986 --> 00:09:00,605
this will help me business-wise.
197
00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:06,093
Well, it's not
helping kissing-wise.
198
00:09:16,506 --> 00:09:18,156
Well, sweetie, how did you do?
199
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:21,793
I tried to be you, but I
wasn't even a good me.
200
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:22,810
It's Addison's fault.
201
00:09:22,879 --> 00:09:24,573
He never should have
encouraged Wilbur.
202
00:09:24,597 --> 00:09:27,916
I bet if Roger shaved off his
moustache, Wilbur would too.
203
00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:29,551
Excuse me, dear.
204
00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:30,702
Where are you going?
205
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:32,386
To sharpen a razor.
206
00:09:34,290 --> 00:09:36,691
Shave off my what?
207
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:39,644
That furry little trouble-maker
under your nose.
208
00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:40,895
Never.
209
00:09:40,964 --> 00:09:42,963
I'd be positively
naked without it.
210
00:09:43,032 --> 00:09:44,349
Wear a fig leaf.
211
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:48,019
Addison, if you shave yours
off, Wilbur will shave his off.
212
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,088
Nonsense. Just
because Wilbur and Carol
213
00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:53,942
are having a little
spat... A little spat?
214
00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:56,461
She's almost ready to leave him.
215
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:58,012
Think of it this way, doll...
216
00:09:58,081 --> 00:10:01,166
You won't be losing a moustache,
you'll be saving a marriage.
217
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:03,000
But, my dear, be reasonable.
218
00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:05,202
I have had this
for over 20 years.
219
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,933
We even went through
college together.
220
00:10:06,957 --> 00:10:10,174
But Wilbur's been
imitating you in every way.
221
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:11,492
He's been talking like you,
222
00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,538
walking like you,
dressing like you.
223
00:10:13,596 --> 00:10:15,441
Personally, I think
it's an improvement.
224
00:10:15,465 --> 00:10:18,749
Sweetheart, they're a
young married couple.
225
00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:20,251
And now they've stopped kissing.
226
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,002
Let them shake hands.
227
00:10:22,071 --> 00:10:24,238
Oh...
228
00:10:24,307 --> 00:10:27,975
Please take it off for
your little baby doll.
229
00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:34,416
Baby doll?
230
00:10:34,484 --> 00:10:35,666
Yes?
231
00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:36,750
It stays.
232
00:10:36,819 --> 00:10:39,654
You marriage-destroyer, you.
233
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:43,625
All right, hot lips.
234
00:10:43,693 --> 00:10:45,142
If if means that much to Carol,
235
00:10:45,195 --> 00:10:47,022
I'll go and have
a talk with Wilbur
236
00:10:47,046 --> 00:10:49,025
and get him to shave
his moustache off.
237
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:51,216
Boy, it's hot.
238
00:10:52,468 --> 00:10:54,919
Boy, it's really hot.
239
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:58,840
I'll bet if you owed
somebody a hot day,
240
00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:01,208
you could pay him
back with this one.
241
00:11:01,277 --> 00:11:03,728
No shower?
242
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,112
No shower.
243
00:11:05,181 --> 00:11:06,181
[Mr. Ed groans]
244
00:11:09,185 --> 00:11:12,120
You know, I'm glad I
took Roger's advice.
245
00:11:12,189 --> 00:11:15,473
Somehow I feel more mature.
246
00:11:15,525 --> 00:11:17,475
More confident.
247
00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:21,612
More... This is
how you look to me.
248
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,247
[Mr. Ed laughs]
249
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:27,268
How is this for
dignity and maturity?
250
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,090
Ooh.
251
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:35,594
[Mr. Ed laughing]
252
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:44,285
Mr. Post, anytime you're
ready for lunch, just let me know.
253
00:11:44,354 --> 00:11:46,921
My dear, you're
acting like a child.
254
00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:48,656
What are we having?
255
00:11:48,725 --> 00:11:53,160
Canned soup, canned
stew, and canned fruit.
256
00:11:53,229 --> 00:11:56,447
As long as you want to
be Addison, eat like him.
257
00:12:00,586 --> 00:12:04,272
It's going to be a
long, cold winter.
258
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:05,573
Don't worry.
259
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:06,591
She'll get used to it.
260
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,442
Sure, buddy boy.
261
00:12:08,511 --> 00:12:10,311
Start lathering up.
262
00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:13,163
Look, when I make up my mind...
263
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,816
She changes it.
264
00:12:19,188 --> 00:12:20,754
Look, Edward.
265
00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:22,640
And stop calling me Edward.
266
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:25,827
I feel like I'm
wearing short pants.
267
00:12:25,895 --> 00:12:28,312
Nobody changes
Wilbur Post's mind.
268
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:29,297
Ha!
269
00:12:29,366 --> 00:12:31,349
I am master of my own home.
270
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,583
Ha!
271
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:35,053
This moustache
stays where it is.
272
00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:36,437
Ha!
273
00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:38,451
The day anybody gets me
to shave this moustache off,
274
00:12:38,475 --> 00:12:42,026
that is the day you will
get your stall shower.
275
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,011
Wilbur?
276
00:12:43,079 --> 00:12:44,028
Ha!
277
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,012
Buddy boy?
278
00:12:45,081 --> 00:12:46,030
What?
279
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:49,250
I take a size 38 shower cap.
280
00:12:49,319 --> 00:12:50,901
Okay...
281
00:13:00,564 --> 00:13:03,631
[together]
- Well, Wilbur, my boy.
- Well, Addison, my boy.
282
00:13:06,819 --> 00:13:07,819
How do I look?
283
00:13:11,775 --> 00:13:14,475
We look like our wives
got us at a one cent sale.
284
00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:18,245
Wilbur, I'm afraid
we made a mistake.
285
00:13:18,314 --> 00:13:19,463
Mistake?
286
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,799
We're living in a
fast-changing world.
287
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:24,068
To be successful,
you've got to be youthful.
288
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,888
You got to act young,
feel young, look young.
289
00:13:26,957 --> 00:13:29,238
But just last week you
told me I should look older.
290
00:13:29,292 --> 00:13:30,575
Roger.
291
00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:32,277
Wilbur, get rid of it.
292
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:34,812
Did Carol put you up to this?
293
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:36,064
Did she send you out here?
294
00:13:36,132 --> 00:13:38,233
No, Kay sent me out here.
295
00:13:38,301 --> 00:13:40,221
She told me Carol
is very unhappy.
296
00:13:40,269 --> 00:13:43,299
Oh, so you want me to shave my
moustache off and make Carol happy.
297
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,505
Right.
298
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,591
All right if you shave yours
off and make Kay happy.
299
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,360
Oh, let me understand this.
300
00:13:49,428 --> 00:13:52,430
You mean, you won't
shave yours off unless I...
301
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:53,764
Right. We go together.
302
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:54,833
It's a set.
303
00:13:59,656 --> 00:14:01,105
Very well.
304
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,505
I never thought
the day would come
305
00:14:05,529 --> 00:14:07,609
when I would sign a
moustache suicide pact.
306
00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:15,169
Oh, uh, psst.
307
00:14:18,909 --> 00:14:21,175
With my shower cap,
308
00:14:21,244 --> 00:14:25,179
I'll want a half-dozen
large-sized Turkish towels.
309
00:14:25,248 --> 00:14:30,151
I think the Dodgers have a
chance this year, Edward.
310
00:14:42,432 --> 00:14:44,226
My dear, how do
you think I'd look
311
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:46,867
with long sideburns
setting off my moustache?
312
00:14:46,936 --> 00:14:48,903
Like a Saint Bernard.
313
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:51,238
For all I care, you...
314
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,741
Wilbur, you've come home.
315
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,410
[Wilbur chuckles]
316
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,577
I've been away a lot
longer than I thought.
317
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,234
How did you change your mind?
318
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:05,180
Well, I paid $2 for
our marriage license,
319
00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:06,387
and it was going to waste.
320
00:15:06,456 --> 00:15:08,456
Ooh, I've got to call Kay.
321
00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:16,381
Honey, Roger just told Kay.
322
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:18,099
He's shaving his off, too.
323
00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:19,367
He is?
324
00:15:19,435 --> 00:15:20,751
I wonder what he will look like.
325
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,653
Like an open-face sandwich.
326
00:15:33,632 --> 00:15:36,684
Addison, Addison!
327
00:15:36,753 --> 00:15:38,069
Will you quit stalling?
328
00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:39,486
Remember your promise.
329
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,624
I've got to get this
lather the right thickness.
330
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:45,271
You've been mixing
that for 40 minutes.
331
00:15:45,295 --> 00:15:47,175
Are you shaving
or baking a cake?
332
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:58,757
Now what?
333
00:15:58,808 --> 00:16:00,719
It's the light. I need
a stronger bulb.
334
00:16:00,743 --> 00:16:02,026
We've already changed it twice.
335
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:03,994
Now, come on. Shave it off.
336
00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:10,300
I better use an electric razor.
337
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:12,186
Oh, let me do it.
338
00:16:12,255 --> 00:16:13,470
No! No, no, no.
339
00:16:13,523 --> 00:16:15,506
Please.
340
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:17,808
Kay, will you do
me one last favor?
341
00:16:17,860 --> 00:16:20,094
What do you want
now? An anesthetic?
342
00:16:20,162 --> 00:16:21,723
Would you leave me
alone with my moustache
343
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:23,097
for just a few minutes?
344
00:16:23,166 --> 00:16:24,999
You want to say good-bye?
345
00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:27,135
I feel like I'm
losing an old buddy.
346
00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:29,436
Now, so is Wilbur. Now come on.
347
00:16:29,505 --> 00:16:31,839
Hey, how do I know he
hasn't changed his mind?
348
00:16:31,925 --> 00:16:34,008
Well, you told me he
was shaving his off.
349
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:35,521
Yeah, but he could've
changed his mind.
350
00:16:35,545 --> 00:16:36,571
I better go and see.
351
00:16:36,595 --> 00:16:38,495
No, I'll go and see.
352
00:16:39,682 --> 00:16:41,716
You have a reprieve
for five minutes,
353
00:16:41,785 --> 00:16:43,985
but don't expect a phone
call from the governor.
354
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,684
Your steak will be
ready in a minute, darling.
355
00:16:49,708 --> 00:16:50,624
Thank you, hon.
356
00:16:50,693 --> 00:16:51,642
[phone rings]
357
00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:53,327
I'll get it.
358
00:16:53,396 --> 00:16:54,556
Don't you burn that steak.
359
00:16:57,166 --> 00:16:58,166
Hello?
360
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,984
Just a minute.
361
00:17:03,907 --> 00:17:04,855
What do you want?
362
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:07,424
Now, about that, uh, shower.
363
00:17:07,493 --> 00:17:11,162
I'd like, uh, needle spray.
364
00:17:12,582 --> 00:17:13,764
Why?
365
00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:16,200
What makes you think I
got rid of my moustache?
366
00:17:16,268 --> 00:17:18,619
I smell steak cooking.
367
00:17:20,239 --> 00:17:21,906
Well, you're wrong.
368
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:23,457
I didn't shave it off.
369
00:17:23,526 --> 00:17:25,893
I'll be in the barn later and
you can see for yourself.
370
00:17:30,099 --> 00:17:31,632
Who was that on the phone, dear?
371
00:17:31,701 --> 00:17:33,262
- It was me.
- Huh?
372
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:35,753
No, I mean, I'm trying
to reach a plumber.
373
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:38,083
I thinking of having a
stall shower put in the barn.
374
00:17:38,107 --> 00:17:40,123
A stall shower in the barn?
375
00:17:40,192 --> 00:17:41,591
[laughs]
376
00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:44,028
Wilbur, I'm so glad you have
your sense of humor back.
377
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:48,332
Oh, it's off.
378
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:49,401
Good boy.
379
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:53,888
Sent Mata Hari over to see
380
00:17:53,956 --> 00:17:55,836
if I kept my half
of the bargain.
381
00:17:57,543 --> 00:17:59,188
Honey, how about that
shower for the barn?
382
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,545
Wilbur, you're not serious?
383
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:02,614
I am.
384
00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:04,164
I mean, it's very practical.
385
00:18:04,233 --> 00:18:05,461
When we come
home from the beach,
386
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:06,745
you can take a
shower in the house
387
00:18:06,769 --> 00:18:08,252
I can use the one in the barn.
388
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,853
Why do we need two?
389
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,840
We don't need two
showers in the barn. Just one.
390
00:18:12,909 --> 00:18:14,920
One in the house and
one in the barn. One.
391
00:18:14,944 --> 00:18:16,460
This silly.
392
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,229
[Wilbur] Not two, one.
393
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:20,258
I'm so glad you
stopped being Roger.
394
00:18:21,918 --> 00:18:25,502
I wonder why he hasn't been
over since he shaved his off.
395
00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:27,438
Will you quit stalling?
396
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:28,989
But my dear...
397
00:18:29,075 --> 00:18:32,593
If you don't hurry, I'll pluck
it out one hair at a time.
398
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:36,113
My mother warned
me at the wedding
399
00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:38,215
that you had a sadistic streak.
400
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,851
If you stall any longer, it
will fall off from old age.
401
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,186
Shave it off!
402
00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:51,495
You'll never find it now.
403
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,097
Kay, will you wait outside?
404
00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:55,433
Just send me hourly reports.
405
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:59,019
Kay, are you sure
Wilbur shaved his off?
406
00:18:59,088 --> 00:19:00,370
Well, yes.
407
00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:01,939
I saw it with my own two eyes.
408
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:03,224
Don't you trust me?
409
00:19:03,293 --> 00:19:04,375
Of course.
410
00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:05,726
I'll go and see for myself.
411
00:19:06,996 --> 00:19:08,646
That's right.
412
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:11,732
I want the shower
tiled in baby blue.
413
00:19:35,524 --> 00:19:36,840
Uh-oh.
414
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,575
There goes my shower.
415
00:19:38,644 --> 00:19:40,394
Down the drain.
416
00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:44,464
You see, Edward?
417
00:19:44,533 --> 00:19:46,578
Nobody can influence me
when I make up my mind.
418
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:48,268
Wife or no wife.
419
00:19:48,337 --> 00:19:50,804
I didn't think
you had it in you.
420
00:19:50,873 --> 00:19:55,859
Well, it looks like it's going
to be a long hot summer.
421
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:58,062
You can't win them all, Ed.
422
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,177
I knew it. I knew it.
423
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,946
Oh, thank you,
coward. Thank you.
424
00:20:19,268 --> 00:20:22,052
Methinks something's
rotten in Denmark.
425
00:20:23,705 --> 00:20:25,338
Why should I fib to you?
426
00:20:25,407 --> 00:20:27,775
I tell you I saw Wilbur
without a moustache.
427
00:20:27,843 --> 00:20:29,654
Then he grew another
one in the last five minutes.
428
00:20:29,678 --> 00:20:30,705
But Addison, really.
429
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,357
If Wilbur shaved
off his moustache,
430
00:20:32,381 --> 00:20:34,649
I will buy you a
full-length mink coat.
431
00:20:34,717 --> 00:20:35,833
Wonderful.
432
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,779
My little stole is going
to have a big brother.
433
00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:39,336
[Carol] Wilbur?
434
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:41,472
Uh...
435
00:20:43,842 --> 00:20:45,092
Just a minute, honey. I'm...
436
00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:46,376
I dropped my pencil.
437
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:54,067
Well, what is it, dear?
438
00:20:54,136 --> 00:20:56,315
I just saw Roger running
out of here all lathered up.
439
00:20:56,339 --> 00:20:59,156
- What happened?
- Yes, well, uh...
440
00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:01,470
Let's talk about it outside.
It's kind of hot in here.
441
00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:02,954
Now, you're not going
to start that business
442
00:21:02,978 --> 00:21:04,589
about a shower
for the barn again?
443
00:21:04,613 --> 00:21:06,580
Uh, no, no.
444
00:21:06,649 --> 00:21:07,865
We can always hose him down.
445
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,149
Hose who down?
446
00:21:09,218 --> 00:21:10,567
Hose down... Him down.
447
00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:11,935
Who down?
448
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:13,924
Look, we'll talk
about it outside.
449
00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:21,762
Now I'm sure something's
rotten in Denmark.
450
00:21:21,831 --> 00:21:25,249
And I'm getting a
whiff of it over here.
451
00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:27,785
Wilbur, stop teasing.
452
00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:28,902
[Wilbur laughs]
453
00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:31,655
Honey, let's celebrate tonight.
454
00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:32,639
Celebrate?
455
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:33,957
Oh, this. Swell.
456
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:35,087
We'll ask the
Addison's for dinner.
457
00:21:35,111 --> 00:21:36,460
Fine.
458
00:21:36,528 --> 00:21:38,768
I'll run to the market and
get something special.
459
00:21:42,868 --> 00:21:44,428
[Mr. Ed] Wilbur?
460
00:21:47,656 --> 00:21:48,939
Buddy boy?
461
00:21:49,007 --> 00:21:50,090
Yes, Ed.
462
00:21:50,159 --> 00:21:53,477
Just out here in the garden, Ed.
463
00:21:53,546 --> 00:21:54,961
Wilbur?
464
00:21:55,030 --> 00:21:56,550
[Carol] Wilbur?
465
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:05,573
What is it, hon?
466
00:22:05,641 --> 00:22:07,108
Shall we have steaks or chops?
467
00:22:07,176 --> 00:22:08,125
Uh, chops.
468
00:22:08,194 --> 00:22:09,234
Steaks will be fine.
469
00:22:09,278 --> 00:22:10,758
[Kay] Wilbur?
470
00:22:11,714 --> 00:22:14,148
Yes, Kay?
471
00:22:14,216 --> 00:22:16,183
I knew it. I knew it.
472
00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:21,839
Addison, will you come here?
473
00:22:21,907 --> 00:22:24,074
Now, look for your...
474
00:22:30,449 --> 00:22:33,334
Your stole is
still an only child.
475
00:22:33,403 --> 00:22:35,268
Wilbur, what's going on?
476
00:22:35,337 --> 00:22:36,587
[coughing]
477
00:22:36,656 --> 00:22:38,489
Yes, dear?
478
00:22:38,558 --> 00:22:40,790
Wilbur Post!
479
00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:43,160
What are you doing to me?
480
00:22:43,228 --> 00:22:44,578
[coughing]
481
00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:54,922
Wilbur, why are
you playing games?
482
00:22:54,990 --> 00:22:59,360
Uh, I... I guess it
must be the heat.
483
00:22:59,429 --> 00:23:03,497
Oh, maybe you do need
that shower in the barn.
484
00:23:03,565 --> 00:23:06,783
Well, if you'll excuse me.
485
00:23:08,771 --> 00:23:09,970
I've got to shave.
486
00:23:10,039 --> 00:23:11,989
Uh, Addison.
487
00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:15,592
Are you really
going to shave it off?
488
00:23:15,661 --> 00:23:18,094
We made an agreement, my dear.
489
00:23:18,163 --> 00:23:22,265
Oh, well, keep your
silly old moustache.
490
00:23:22,334 --> 00:23:24,601
I think I like you better
that way, anyway.
491
00:23:24,670 --> 00:23:27,587
Mrs. Addison, do you mean it?
492
00:23:27,656 --> 00:23:29,589
I mean it, doll.
493
00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:32,359
Oh, bless you,
my dear, bless you.
494
00:23:32,428 --> 00:23:36,096
Wilbur, give me
that silly thing.
495
00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:41,952
Know something?
496
00:23:42,021 --> 00:23:43,270
You like it?
497
00:23:43,339 --> 00:23:45,105
Hate it.
498
00:23:45,174 --> 00:23:47,441
I like you just as
you are, baby face.
499
00:23:51,514 --> 00:23:54,047
Ed! Ed!
500
00:23:54,116 --> 00:23:57,134
Ed, I just got the
Reynolds apartment deal
501
00:23:57,203 --> 00:24:00,120
the hard way...
Without a moustache.
502
00:24:00,189 --> 00:24:02,222
[Ed] Good. Hand me a towel.
503
00:24:02,291 --> 00:24:06,009
One towel, coming up.
504
00:24:06,078 --> 00:24:08,011
[Ed humming]
505
00:24:13,502 --> 00:24:15,919
[continues humming]
506
00:24:15,988 --> 00:24:17,738
♪ The little lady ♪
507
00:24:17,807 --> 00:24:21,574
♪ When the moon
is on the trail ♪
508
00:24:21,643 --> 00:24:24,595
[humming]
509
00:24:26,998 --> 00:24:29,933
♪ Pretty little filly ♪
510
00:24:29,986 --> 00:24:33,771
♪ With the honey tail ♪
511
00:24:37,944 --> 00:24:40,904
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
512
00:24:42,014 --> 00:24:44,126
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
513
00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:46,417
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
514
00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:48,529
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
515
00:24:48,553 --> 00:24:50,554
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
516
00:24:50,622 --> 00:24:52,734
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
517
00:24:52,758 --> 00:24:53,818
♪ He'll give you the answer ♪
518
00:24:53,842 --> 00:24:55,158
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
519
00:24:55,227 --> 00:24:57,105
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
520
00:24:57,129 --> 00:24:59,230
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
521
00:24:59,298 --> 00:25:01,215
♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪
522
00:25:01,283 --> 00:25:03,317
♪ And waste your time of day ♪
523
00:25:03,386 --> 00:25:05,352
♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪
524
00:25:05,421 --> 00:25:07,520
♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪
525
00:25:07,589 --> 00:25:09,789
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
526
00:25:09,858 --> 00:25:11,903
♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪
527
00:25:11,927 --> 00:25:14,577
♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪
528
00:25:15,898 --> 00:25:18,265
♪ Well, listen to this ♪
529
00:25:18,334 --> 00:25:22,202
[Mister Ed] ♪ I am Mister Ed ♪
530
00:25:26,976 --> 00:25:29,976
[Man] This has been a
Filmways television presentation.
34268
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