Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,868 --> 00:00:03,802
[whinnies]
2
00:00:03,870 --> 00:00:05,687
Hello.
3
00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:07,956
I'm Mister Ed.
4
00:00:11,728 --> 00:00:13,962
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
5
00:00:14,031 --> 00:00:16,109
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
6
00:00:16,133 --> 00:00:18,111
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
7
00:00:18,135 --> 00:00:20,235
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
8
00:00:20,304 --> 00:00:22,470
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
9
00:00:22,539 --> 00:00:24,650
♪ He'll give you the
answer that you'll endorse ♪
10
00:00:24,674 --> 00:00:26,775
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
11
00:00:26,843 --> 00:00:29,177
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
12
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,345
I receive so many
letters from you girls,
13
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,562
and the letters go like this.
14
00:00:36,586 --> 00:00:38,498
Dear Jack LaLanne,
will you please show us
15
00:00:38,522 --> 00:00:40,016
something to firm up the hips?
16
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,218
All right. I want you to
lie on your side. Face me.
17
00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:44,354
Then I want you to lift
your leg up high as you can.
18
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,645
Uh-oh.
19
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:47,629
Ready? Begin.
20
00:00:47,698 --> 00:00:49,631
One and two.
21
00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:51,260
That's it. And higher and down.
22
00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:53,485
Up, down, and rest.
23
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,687
One, two. That
was fine. Perfect.
24
00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:57,322
Mm-hmm.
25
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,102
We're going to be
standing on our feet.
26
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,353
Everyone get up.
Come on, everyone up.
27
00:01:00,377 --> 00:01:01,927
That's it. Up, up, up.
28
00:01:01,996 --> 00:01:04,073
We always have
somebody that's a slow one.
29
00:01:04,097 --> 00:01:06,682
So?
30
00:01:06,750 --> 00:01:09,051
The next exercise is
dedicated to all of you
31
00:01:09,119 --> 00:01:10,980
who want to have
a lovelier neck.
32
00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:13,221
That's for me.
33
00:01:13,290 --> 00:01:14,450
Let's all begin together.
34
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:15,590
Ready, go.
35
00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:19,043
One, two.
36
00:01:19,112 --> 00:01:24,899
That's it. Slowly. Up and
down and around. That's it.
37
00:01:24,968 --> 00:01:28,670
And one, and two.
38
00:01:28,739 --> 00:01:32,624
Great.
39
00:01:32,692 --> 00:01:34,259
That feels good.
40
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:37,612
The next exercise is
to firm up the waistline,
41
00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,425
so you can look much
nicer in your clothes.
42
00:01:39,449 --> 00:01:40,966
Gee.
43
00:01:41,035 --> 00:01:42,284
Right, then to the left.
44
00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:44,052
Go with me. Ready? Begin.
45
00:01:44,121 --> 00:01:47,956
One, two, one, two.
46
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:50,041
Swing it, Jack.
47
00:01:50,093 --> 00:01:52,627
One, two. Get way out.
48
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:54,963
And swing.
49
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,359
Feel the waistline
tightening up?
50
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:57,749
One, two.
51
00:01:57,817 --> 00:01:59,568
Out, in.
52
00:01:59,637 --> 00:02:03,237
One, two, one, two.
53
00:02:03,306 --> 00:02:04,256
One, two.
54
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:06,241
Ed, you and this television set.
55
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:07,909
Aw, Wilbur.
56
00:02:07,978 --> 00:02:09,911
You left it on again last night.
57
00:02:09,980 --> 00:02:10,928
I fell asleep.
58
00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:12,347
That's no excuse.
59
00:02:12,416 --> 00:02:16,184
Get me a remote control
and it won't happen.
60
00:02:16,252 --> 00:02:19,604
Remote control. Huh!
61
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:22,924
Next thing you'll be asking
for is a color television.
62
00:02:22,993 --> 00:02:27,595
Oh, no. I may be a
horse, but I'm not a pig.
63
00:02:32,002 --> 00:02:33,935
Dishes. Just no end.
64
00:02:34,004 --> 00:02:36,271
In our house, my
husband does them.
65
00:02:36,340 --> 00:02:37,939
Kay, you're always joking.
66
00:02:38,008 --> 00:02:39,986
I've been in your house
when you did the dishes.
67
00:02:40,010 --> 00:02:42,822
Yeah, but that's only on the nights
when my husband does the cooking.
68
00:02:42,846 --> 00:02:43,962
Hello, girls.
69
00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:45,964
Oh, say, hi Wilbur.
70
00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:47,282
I'm glad you came in.
71
00:02:47,351 --> 00:02:49,618
Will you do me a great favor?
72
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:50,997
You can have anything I've got.
73
00:02:51,021 --> 00:02:52,955
My horse, my house, my mortgage.
74
00:02:53,023 --> 00:02:54,305
That's exactly what I want.
75
00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:56,308
Our mortgage?
76
00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:58,004
Now that's what I call
being a good neighbor.
77
00:02:58,028 --> 00:02:59,311
Oh, no, no, no.
78
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,457
I'd like to borrow
Mr. Ed for this Saturday.
79
00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:03,292
Oh, you want to
take him for a ride?
80
00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:04,916
Me? I wouldn't ride a horse
81
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:06,901
if he came with
white wall tires.
82
00:03:06,970 --> 00:03:08,447
No, it's for my
little niece Peggy.
83
00:03:08,471 --> 00:03:09,966
Oh, is she feeling any better?
84
00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:12,302
Quite a bit. You know, I got
a letter from her this morning,
85
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:13,637
and she wants more
than anything else
86
00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:14,909
to ride Mr. Ed again.
87
00:03:14,978 --> 00:03:16,938
Oh, sure. When's
she coming to town?
88
00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:19,247
Well, she can't leave
Mountain Springs for a while.
89
00:03:19,316 --> 00:03:21,249
She's still recuperating.
90
00:03:21,317 --> 00:03:23,963
So I guess we'll just have
to take Mr. Ed up to see her.
91
00:03:23,987 --> 00:03:24,937
Oh, honey, can we?
92
00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:26,421
It's all right with me.
93
00:03:26,490 --> 00:03:29,450
I don't think Ed has anything
planned for the weekend.
94
00:03:32,396 --> 00:03:35,881
[gunshots]
95
00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:51,946
Ah, thanks, Wilbur.
96
00:03:52,015 --> 00:03:54,966
Killings, shootings, violence.
97
00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:57,969
Is this for our children?
98
00:03:58,022 --> 00:03:59,304
You know something, Ed?
99
00:03:59,372 --> 00:04:01,167
We're going to see
little Peggy again.
100
00:04:01,191 --> 00:04:03,224
Ah, swell.
101
00:04:03,293 --> 00:04:04,859
When is she coming over?
102
00:04:04,928 --> 00:04:06,622
Well, she's at Mountain Springs,
103
00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:07,912
still recuperating.
104
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:08,897
We're going up there.
105
00:04:08,966 --> 00:04:10,915
Mountain Springs?
106
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,250
How high is that?
107
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:14,235
Oh, it's about 3,000 feet.
108
00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:15,904
No, no, the deal's off.
109
00:04:15,972 --> 00:04:17,639
Why?
110
00:04:17,707 --> 00:04:20,141
I've got acrophobia.
111
00:04:20,210 --> 00:04:21,592
Acrophobia?
112
00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:23,306
That's a fear of high places.
113
00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:24,912
I know what it is,
114
00:04:24,981 --> 00:04:26,959
but I didn't know horses
could be afraid of heights.
115
00:04:26,983 --> 00:04:29,601
Why not? We're human.
116
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:32,070
Well, Mountain Springs
is only 3,000 feet.
117
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:36,608
Please. I get dizzy when
I look down my nose.
118
00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:38,276
Ed, it's for little Peggy.
119
00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:39,594
Don't you want to help her?
120
00:04:39,662 --> 00:04:42,263
Sure, but let's face it, Wilbur.
121
00:04:42,332 --> 00:04:43,598
I'm yellow.
122
00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:45,050
Ed.
123
00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:47,885
I don't want to talk
about it anymore.
124
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:55,276
My horse is chicken.
125
00:04:55,345 --> 00:04:56,611
That's right.
126
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:08,601
Ed, I promised Kay that we'd go
to Mountain Springs this weekend
127
00:05:08,625 --> 00:05:10,892
to see her niece.
128
00:05:10,961 --> 00:05:12,560
Oh, a fine thing.
129
00:05:12,629 --> 00:05:14,290
All the favors that
I've done for you,
130
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,581
and this is the
way you repay me.
131
00:05:16,633 --> 00:05:18,900
All right, you can
just forget about
132
00:05:18,968 --> 00:05:21,569
that remote control
set, buddy boy...
133
00:05:21,638 --> 00:05:25,256
Wilbur, to whom are you talking?
134
00:05:25,309 --> 00:05:27,742
Myself. Didn't you
ever talk to yourself?
135
00:05:27,811 --> 00:05:29,910
Not since I've been married.
136
00:05:29,979 --> 00:05:31,263
Are you all right?
137
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,580
Never better.
138
00:05:32,649 --> 00:05:33,932
Look, about little Peggy...
139
00:05:33,984 --> 00:05:35,644
I just talked with
her on the phone.
140
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:38,269
Wilbur, you have no idea
what a wonderful thing
141
00:05:38,322 --> 00:05:39,982
you are doing for that child.
142
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,607
Just the idea of
seeing Mr. Ed again
143
00:05:42,659 --> 00:05:44,926
has filled that child's
heart with happiness.
144
00:05:44,994 --> 00:05:47,095
Yeah. Well, Roger, I'm afraid
145
00:05:47,163 --> 00:05:49,597
you're going to have to
get yourself another horse.
146
00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:51,933
Ed can't make it this Saturday.
147
00:05:52,002 --> 00:05:53,284
He can't make it? Why?
148
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,120
Is anything wrong with him?
149
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:58,439
Well, I...
150
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:07,632
Got a sore foot.
151
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:10,235
Peggy is going to be
terribly disappointed.
152
00:06:10,304 --> 00:06:11,719
I'd better tell Kay.
153
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:18,576
Oh, no, I just
haven't got the heart
154
00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:21,412
to call that child and
tell her the bad news.
155
00:06:21,481 --> 00:06:23,081
I don't understand it.
156
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:25,628
When I saw Mr. Ed this morning,
he seemed perfectly all right.
157
00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:27,297
Why don't we rent another horse?
158
00:06:27,321 --> 00:06:28,948
Peggy would never
know the difference.
159
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,254
Oh, of course she would.
160
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:31,767
It's very hard to
fool a little girl.
161
00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:34,909
Kay, Kay, I'm sorry.
162
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:36,956
If it would help any, I'd
throw a saddle on my back
163
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:38,430
and let Peggy ride me.
164
00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:39,959
- It's not your fault, Wilbur.
- [Mr. Ed neighs]
165
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,416
After all, if the horse...
166
00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:51,610
Well, your horse seems to have
made a remarkable recovery.
167
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:55,263
Yeah, well, Ed suffers
from a chronic broken leg.
168
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,615
I mean, it comes and goes.
169
00:07:01,271 --> 00:07:04,222
Well, I might as
well tell you the truth.
170
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:06,558
Ed's got acrophobia.
171
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:07,920
- Acrophobia?
- What?
172
00:07:07,944 --> 00:07:09,271
Yeah, that's a fear of heights.
173
00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:10,862
Runs in the family.
174
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:14,866
Wilbur, you've been
talking very strangely today.
175
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,569
- Do you feel all right?
- I feel fine.
176
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:20,433
He just invented that story so he
wouldn't have to lend us his horse.
177
00:07:20,457 --> 00:07:23,391
Oh, but Wilbur, you promised.
178
00:07:23,460 --> 00:07:24,893
Honey, I'm sorry.
179
00:07:24,962 --> 00:07:26,578
Acrophobia.
180
00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:28,624
You know, I'm beginning to
develop a case of neighborphobia.
181
00:07:28,648 --> 00:07:29,730
Come, dear.
182
00:07:31,968 --> 00:07:33,250
Indian giver.
183
00:07:34,304 --> 00:07:35,949
You believe me, don't you?
184
00:07:35,973 --> 00:07:38,073
Of course I believe
you're an Indian giver.
185
00:07:48,652 --> 00:07:51,936
Ed, I think I've got it.
186
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:55,256
The answer to your
problem is hypnotism.
187
00:07:55,325 --> 00:07:58,610
You see, Ed, you're
suffering from a phobia.
188
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:01,574
Would you stop chewing those
carrots when I'm talking to you?
189
00:08:01,598 --> 00:08:04,533
You ain't hypnotizing
me, Svengali.
190
00:08:04,601 --> 00:08:06,885
I'm just going to put
you into a little trance,
191
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:09,888
and then make a few
post-hypnotic suggestions
192
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:11,223
to your subconscious.
193
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,557
I got a better suggestion.
194
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:15,210
Give me back my carrot.
195
00:08:15,278 --> 00:08:17,212
Yeah.
196
00:08:17,281 --> 00:08:19,898
Now just do as I say now.
197
00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:21,048
Watch the watch.
198
00:08:23,953 --> 00:08:28,223
Now you're getting sleepy.
199
00:08:28,291 --> 00:08:30,225
Sleepy.
200
00:08:30,294 --> 00:08:32,226
Sleepy.
201
00:08:32,295 --> 00:08:34,161
Your eyes are getting heavy.
202
00:08:34,230 --> 00:08:39,167
You... are... asleep.
203
00:08:39,236 --> 00:08:42,420
♪ Rock-a-bye baby ♪
204
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:44,456
Now cut that out.
205
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,924
Ed, don't you want to
lick this height phobia
206
00:08:46,977 --> 00:08:48,793
and help that little girl?
207
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:51,979
Okay, I won't horse around.
208
00:08:52,048 --> 00:08:53,981
Okay, now don't talk at all.
209
00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:55,894
Just make your mind
a complete blank.
210
00:08:55,918 --> 00:08:57,985
This is ridiculous.
211
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:02,357
Relax.
212
00:09:02,425 --> 00:09:06,377
You are getting sleepy.
213
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:09,197
Sleepy.
214
00:09:09,265 --> 00:09:11,032
Sleepy.
215
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:13,868
[Ed] Uh-oh.
216
00:09:13,937 --> 00:09:16,921
Keep your eye on the
nice new watch now.
217
00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:28,550
Wilbur, what are you doing?
218
00:09:28,618 --> 00:09:30,234
Huh? Oh.
219
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:34,239
Uh... Oh, I was...
just winding my watch.
220
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:36,891
Why don't you wind it
with that little knob on top?
221
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,244
Oh, well, I got tired
of winding it that way.
222
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,580
I thought I'd just break
the monotony of...
223
00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:45,216
winding my watch.
224
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:48,569
Wilbur, do you feel all right?
225
00:09:48,638 --> 00:09:51,889
Of course I feel all right.
Why do you always ask that?
226
00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:53,924
Lunch will be ready
in a few minutes.
227
00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:55,426
Thank you, honey.
228
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:04,436
Well, he certainly has
been acting rather odd.
229
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:06,604
Now, Carol, I don't
want to worry you,
230
00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:10,608
but I caught Wilbur talking
to himself earlier today.
231
00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:13,928
Yeah, and that business about
his horse having acrophobia.
232
00:10:13,996 --> 00:10:17,781
And now, waving
his watch to wind it.
233
00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:21,953
Roger, maybe there's something
on his mind that he can't tell me.
234
00:10:22,021 --> 00:10:23,981
Will you please
have a talk with him?
235
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:25,990
Why, of course.
Now don't you worry.
236
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,137
Everything is going to be
all right. Just leave it to me.
237
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:29,577
Thank you, Roger.
238
00:10:29,646 --> 00:10:31,079
Don't bother.
239
00:10:33,516 --> 00:10:35,450
[door opens, closes]
240
00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:39,003
What do you think, doll?
241
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:42,623
I think some psychiatrist can
start warming up his couch.
242
00:10:42,692 --> 00:10:44,626
Maybe he does need psychiatry.
243
00:10:44,694 --> 00:10:46,628
Why don't you suggest it to him?
244
00:10:46,696 --> 00:10:48,674
I will, but I'll have
to be very subtle.
245
00:10:48,698 --> 00:10:51,298
You know those who need
help most usually resist.
246
00:10:51,367 --> 00:10:54,319
Their id is in a
continual state of turmoil.
247
00:10:54,388 --> 00:10:55,970
But I'll try.
248
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:58,422
Attaboy, Sigmund.
249
00:11:10,487 --> 00:11:14,589
Well, winding your watch, I see.
250
00:11:14,658 --> 00:11:17,775
Uh... uh, yeah. Yes.
251
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,260
Oh, that reminds me.
252
00:11:19,329 --> 00:11:21,596
I forgot to wind mine.
253
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:28,953
Wilbur, I need your advice.
254
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,437
Oh, yeah?
255
00:11:30,506 --> 00:11:33,458
What can I do for you?
256
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:35,793
Well, um, it concerns
a friend of mine.
257
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:38,295
He's been under a good
deal of tension lately,
258
00:11:38,348 --> 00:11:40,298
and he's acting
rather strangely.
259
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,950
I was wondering what
I could do to help him.
260
00:11:43,019 --> 00:11:46,471
- How about a doctor?
- Psychiatrist. An excellent suggestion.
261
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:48,518
You know, there's a
time in every man's life
262
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,307
when he needs outside help
263
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,977
to get rid of his
neuroses and phobias.
264
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,763
Phobias.
265
00:11:55,831 --> 00:11:59,317
I know just the
doctor for my friend.
266
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,419
Well, look, I, uh...
267
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:04,906
I have a friend who
has that kind of problem.
268
00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:07,241
Would you give me your
doctor's name and address?
269
00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:10,595
Oh, why, sure. Of course. Yes.
270
00:12:10,664 --> 00:12:12,597
Well.
271
00:12:12,666 --> 00:12:15,249
Here. Write it down.
272
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:21,439
Why... Y-y-yeah, sure. Yeah.
273
00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:30,598
Why are you
writing with a carrot?
274
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:34,285
Well, don't you always
write with a carrot?
275
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:38,456
No, no. I... I use a pencil.
276
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,626
You better get a hold
of yourself, Roger.
277
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:46,280
Psychiatry.
278
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:48,966
I'm sure my friend
will appreciate this.
279
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:52,620
Uh, yes. Uh... Here.
280
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:55,639
Thanks, Rog.
281
00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:04,415
I'm worried about him, Ed.
282
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:06,917
He was trying to
write with a carrot.
283
00:13:08,988 --> 00:13:10,405
Oh, well.
284
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,439
Dr. Bruce Gordon.
285
00:13:12,508 --> 00:13:13,985
- Wilbur.
- Yeah?
286
00:13:14,009 --> 00:13:17,061
No head-shrinkers for me.
287
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,080
Sure, Ed.
288
00:13:23,319 --> 00:13:25,252
Hello. Dr. Bruce Gordon?
289
00:13:25,321 --> 00:13:27,254
Well, this is Wilbur Post.
290
00:13:27,323 --> 00:13:29,724
Roger Addison
recommended you to me.
291
00:13:29,793 --> 00:13:33,277
Roger, it's him.
292
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:35,479
Yes, Mr. Post. What
can I do for you?
293
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:37,148
I'd like an appointment.
294
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:39,417
All right, Mr. Post. When
would be convenient?
295
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,152
Well, could you come to my barn?
296
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:43,654
Your barn?
297
00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:45,623
Yeah. I'd come to your office,
298
00:13:45,691 --> 00:13:47,731
but my horse won't
ride in the elevator.
299
00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:51,479
He's in big trouble.
300
00:13:51,547 --> 00:13:52,997
Your horse?
301
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:56,184
Yes, he's the patient.
He's afraid of heights.
302
00:13:58,021 --> 00:13:59,621
This is a classic case.
303
00:13:59,689 --> 00:14:02,723
He says he has a horse
that has a fear of heights.
304
00:14:02,792 --> 00:14:04,224
So that's it.
305
00:14:04,293 --> 00:14:07,412
Wilbur has acrophobia, and
he's afraid to let anyone know.
306
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,414
That's why he canceled
his trip to the mountains.
307
00:14:10,467 --> 00:14:13,233
That's the least of his worries.
308
00:14:13,302 --> 00:14:16,754
Uh, I don't usually
make barn calls, Mr. Post.
309
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:18,801
But since you're
a friend of Roger's,
310
00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:20,325
I'll... I'll accommodate you.
311
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:21,809
Thank you, Doctor.
312
00:14:21,878 --> 00:14:23,556
Can you be here at 2:00 sharp?
313
00:14:23,580 --> 00:14:25,029
Yes.
314
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,975
You see, my wife goes
to the beauty parlor,
315
00:14:26,999 --> 00:14:29,100
so my horse and I
will be expecting you.
316
00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:30,584
Good-bye.
317
00:14:30,653 --> 00:14:32,586
Uh, good-bye.
318
00:14:32,655 --> 00:14:36,106
Bruce, you're doing
me a great favor.
319
00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:38,275
You're doing me a greater favor.
320
00:14:38,344 --> 00:14:40,322
Why, this ought to
get me the lead article
321
00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:43,097
in The Psychiatric Journal.
322
00:14:43,165 --> 00:14:46,100
A horse. Interesting.
323
00:14:49,188 --> 00:14:52,106
Well, Ed, Dr. Gordon
will be here at 2:00.
324
00:14:52,175 --> 00:14:54,107
You're wasting your time.
325
00:14:54,176 --> 00:14:58,029
I don't talk to
anybody except you.
326
00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:00,030
Ed, please.
327
00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:02,550
Don't worry. I've
thought of that.
328
00:15:02,619 --> 00:15:05,719
I'm gonna make the doctor
believe that I am the patient.
329
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:08,573
How? We don't look alike.
330
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:10,057
Here's my plan.
331
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,603
The doctor will
go into my office.
332
00:15:11,627 --> 00:15:13,895
I'll go into the stall with you.
333
00:15:13,963 --> 00:15:16,564
Behind closed doors,
he'll think he's talking to me.
334
00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:18,232
[laughs]
335
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:21,319
He will be, 'cause I
ain't gonna be there.
336
00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:24,572
Ed, please.
337
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:27,591
Please, Ed. Little Peggy.
338
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:30,912
This dear little
girl is recuperating,
339
00:15:30,980 --> 00:15:33,914
and she wants to see you.
340
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:37,718
Now, Ed, you want
to help her, don't you?
341
00:15:37,787 --> 00:15:39,236
[sniffles]
342
00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:40,938
Okay, okay.
343
00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:43,007
Stop with the
hearts and flowers.
344
00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:47,445
Why don't we go
into your office,
345
00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:49,096
[lowers voice] Mr. Post?
346
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:52,282
I don't want my
horse to hear this.
347
00:15:52,351 --> 00:15:53,784
Oh.
348
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:55,436
What if he did?
349
00:15:55,505 --> 00:15:57,437
Then he wouldn't talk.
350
00:15:57,506 --> 00:16:00,291
I see. Your horse talks.
351
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,271
Well, that's what
I want to tell you.
352
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,256
You see, you're going to
be the only other person
353
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:05,880
who knows that he does.
354
00:16:05,949 --> 00:16:07,398
Good. Good.
355
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:10,051
I'm honored, but
let's get started.
356
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:13,404
I have a long paper to
write when this is over.
357
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,888
This way.
358
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,580
Now, Doctor, you
go into my office,
359
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,582
and I'll go into the stall,
360
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:28,219
and the next voice
you hear will be mine.
361
00:16:49,325 --> 00:16:51,258
We're all set, Ed.
362
00:16:51,327 --> 00:16:53,927
Okay, Doctor. I'm
ready when you are.
363
00:16:53,996 --> 00:16:56,447
[Dr. Gordon] Now, Mr. Post,
I want you just to relax
364
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,432
and tell me all about yourself.
365
00:16:58,501 --> 00:17:01,185
Now what is your
earliest recollection?
366
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:05,623
[Ed] Uh, at birth, I
weighed 68 pounds.
367
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:10,160
68 pounds?
368
00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:13,314
Yep. I was an incubator baby.
369
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:19,720
About your acrophobia, Mr. Post,
370
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,874
when did the first
syndrome manifest itself?
371
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:26,561
Make him talk English.
372
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:29,079
He wants to know
when your phobia started.
373
00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:33,351
Oh. Why didn't he say so?
374
00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:36,570
[Ed] It's a family curse.
375
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:39,240
It, uh, started when
my great-grandfather
376
00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:40,758
fell off a cliff.
377
00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:41,992
How did that happen?
378
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,428
He was chasing a filly.
379
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,330
She made a sudden stop.
380
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,433
Va-va-va-voom!
381
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:51,268
Good-bye, Grandpa.
382
00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:53,103
Yes, yes. Uh, go on.
383
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:55,439
After your grandfather
fell off the cliff,
384
00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:57,141
what happened?
385
00:17:57,210 --> 00:18:01,195
[Ed] Well, it kinda knocked
the wind out of that romance.
386
00:18:01,264 --> 00:18:04,181
How old was your
grandfather at the time?
387
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:06,317
Uh, nine years old.
388
00:18:09,438 --> 00:18:12,723
Uh, Mr. Post, I think we've
had enough for one day.
389
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,725
Will you come out now, please?
390
00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:24,068
Doctor, before you go,
may I ask you one question?
391
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:25,569
Well, certainly.
392
00:18:29,292 --> 00:18:30,891
[Ed splutters]
393
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:34,745
Doctor, how do you
overcome this fear of heights?
394
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:38,232
Well, we overcome a phobia
by doing the thing we fear.
395
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,067
Oh. You mean,
396
00:18:40,136 --> 00:18:42,753
by forcing yourself to
climb to a high place,
397
00:18:42,821 --> 00:18:44,238
you might conquer this fear?
398
00:18:44,307 --> 00:18:46,407
- Precisely.
- [whispers] Louder.
399
00:18:46,475 --> 00:18:47,925
[shouts] Precisely.
400
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:49,426
[loud voice] Thank you, Doctor.
401
00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:51,595
[normal voice] I'll
walk you to your car.
402
00:18:59,488 --> 00:19:01,354
What do you think, Doctor?
403
00:19:01,423 --> 00:19:02,907
It's amazing.
404
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,209
This will make medical history.
405
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:07,210
You don't know
what a relief it is
406
00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:09,624
to know that somebody else
besides me knows that my horse talks.
407
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:12,199
Fantastic case of schizophrenia.
408
00:19:12,268 --> 00:19:16,253
Mr. Post, you are part
architect, part horse.
409
00:19:16,305 --> 00:19:19,557
Well, I've been...
410
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:23,277
No, no. That's my
horse that was talking.
411
00:19:24,981 --> 00:19:26,897
Doc, you gotta believe me.
412
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:29,383
Just relax.
413
00:19:29,451 --> 00:19:32,386
The first step toward recovery
is knowing your illness.
414
00:19:32,455 --> 00:19:33,887
I'm not sick.
415
00:19:33,956 --> 00:19:36,223
Of course not. Of course not.
416
00:19:36,292 --> 00:19:37,937
Now about your next appointment.
417
00:19:37,961 --> 00:19:40,077
I don't need any
appointment. It's him.
418
00:19:40,129 --> 00:19:43,263
Shall we say tomorrow?
In your stall or in my office?
419
00:19:43,332 --> 00:19:45,232
It's not "my" stall.
420
00:19:45,301 --> 00:19:46,834
I'm not a horse.
421
00:19:46,902 --> 00:19:48,352
Good!
422
00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:50,421
You see? You're
improving already.
423
00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:53,507
Well, see you tomorrow.
424
00:19:53,575 --> 00:19:57,061
Uh, don't call
us. We'll call you.
425
00:20:12,344 --> 00:20:14,278
You heard what the doctor said.
426
00:20:14,346 --> 00:20:16,324
The only way to lick
your fear of heights
427
00:20:16,348 --> 00:20:18,282
is by going up to a high place.
428
00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:21,601
You'll have to carry me.
429
00:20:21,670 --> 00:20:23,604
I'll think of something.
430
00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:43,790
Honey, how about a kiss?
431
00:20:43,859 --> 00:20:45,258
Well...
432
00:21:01,995 --> 00:21:04,095
How high are we?
433
00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:06,096
Oh, just a few feet.
434
00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:08,098
How much is "a few"?
435
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:10,145
Well, why don't you
take a look for yourself?
436
00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:13,103
No, no, no!
437
00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:14,939
Ed, you are a coward.
438
00:21:15,008 --> 00:21:17,440
We've already established that.
439
00:21:17,509 --> 00:21:19,609
Come one, Ed. Look.
440
00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:22,096
Can't. I'm in a trance.
441
00:21:22,165 --> 00:21:25,098
Ed, come on. Take a look.
442
00:21:25,167 --> 00:21:27,100
Fred, somebody's watching us.
443
00:21:27,169 --> 00:21:29,103
I'll be right back, Bernice.
444
00:21:31,741 --> 00:21:34,958
Come on. One little peek.
445
00:21:40,349 --> 00:21:43,134
Hey, fella, what are
you? A peeping tom?
446
00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:45,302
I beg your pardon?
447
00:21:45,371 --> 00:21:48,572
- How long you gonna be here?
- Just a few minutes.
448
00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:51,625
Well, hurry it up, will you?
449
00:21:55,547 --> 00:21:57,714
Why didn't you belt him one?
450
00:21:57,783 --> 00:21:59,817
Ed, you're being obvious.
451
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:01,797
You're just trying
to cause trouble
452
00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:05,021
so he'll chase us away from here,
and you won't have to look down.
453
00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:09,926
Come on, Bernice.
454
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,314
No. Not here.
455
00:22:13,383 --> 00:22:15,582
That's telling him, Bernice.
456
00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:19,887
Ed, be quiet.
457
00:22:19,955 --> 00:22:20,982
You're getting me in trouble.
458
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:23,607
Well, are you taking me down?
459
00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:25,909
Not until you look
over the edge.
460
00:22:25,978 --> 00:22:29,346
Come on, Bernice.
461
00:22:29,415 --> 00:22:31,649
Don't kiss that slob, Ber...
462
00:22:40,008 --> 00:22:42,008
You're really a
joker, aren't you?
463
00:22:42,077 --> 00:22:44,462
- No, no. That wasn't me.
- Now listen.
464
00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:46,447
I'm gonna tell you just once.
465
00:22:46,515 --> 00:22:48,082
Beat it.
466
00:22:49,668 --> 00:22:51,768
Make me, fatso.
467
00:22:54,857 --> 00:22:57,975
Okay, buddy. You asked for it.
468
00:22:58,043 --> 00:23:00,644
[Ed] Shall I call
the boys, Wilbur?
469
00:23:02,281 --> 00:23:03,864
Uh, yeah.
470
00:23:03,933 --> 00:23:06,717
Fella's looking for trouble.
Gonna round up the whole gang.
471
00:23:06,786 --> 00:23:08,719
They're just around the bend.
472
00:23:08,788 --> 00:23:11,738
Now, look. Take it easy,
will you? Just forget it.
473
00:23:11,807 --> 00:23:13,623
Forget it!
474
00:23:17,663 --> 00:23:19,079
Okay, Ed. You win.
475
00:23:19,165 --> 00:23:21,799
- [car door shuts]
- Let's go home.
476
00:23:21,868 --> 00:23:23,383
[car engine starts]
477
00:23:23,452 --> 00:23:25,702
Hey, Wilbur, look.
478
00:23:25,771 --> 00:23:28,923
The San Fernando Valley.
479
00:23:28,991 --> 00:23:31,425
Ed, you're looking down there.
480
00:23:31,494 --> 00:23:33,260
You beat the phobia.
481
00:23:33,328 --> 00:23:35,929
Yeah. What do you know?
482
00:23:35,998 --> 00:23:38,432
Ed, you're gonna
make a certain little girl
483
00:23:38,501 --> 00:23:40,434
very happy tomorrow.
484
00:23:40,503 --> 00:23:42,603
- Uh, Wilbur?
- What?
485
00:23:42,672 --> 00:23:45,789
Has horse ever
climbed the Matterhorn?
486
00:23:45,858 --> 00:23:47,458
Not yet.
487
00:23:55,017 --> 00:23:57,117
Wilbur, wasn't
it worth the trip,
488
00:23:57,186 --> 00:24:00,137
just seeing Peggy's face
light up when she saw Mr. Ed?
489
00:24:00,205 --> 00:24:03,073
Yeah. Maybe we'll go up
there again next week, huh?
490
00:24:05,411 --> 00:24:08,912
Honey, I'm so glad
you're your old self again.
491
00:24:08,980 --> 00:24:11,292
Well, licking my fear of
heights had a lot to do with it.
492
00:24:11,316 --> 00:24:14,084
I'm so proud of you, darling.
493
00:24:14,137 --> 00:24:16,297
- Don't be too long, now.
- Be right with you.
494
00:24:18,324 --> 00:24:20,741
[sighs] Ed, this has
been such an exciting day,
495
00:24:20,809 --> 00:24:22,788
I doubt if I'll be
able to sleep tonight.
496
00:24:22,812 --> 00:24:26,597
Uh, buddy boy, look in my eyes.
497
00:24:26,665 --> 00:24:29,416
You're getting sleepy.
498
00:24:29,484 --> 00:24:37,441
Sleepy... Sleepy... [laughter]
499
00:24:39,845 --> 00:24:42,805
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
500
00:24:44,350 --> 00:24:46,461
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
501
00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:48,752
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
502
00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:50,865
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
503
00:24:50,889 --> 00:24:52,889
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
504
00:24:52,958 --> 00:24:55,070
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
505
00:24:55,094 --> 00:24:56,154
♪ He'll give you the answer ♪
506
00:24:56,178 --> 00:24:57,494
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
507
00:24:57,546 --> 00:24:59,440
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
508
00:24:59,464 --> 00:25:01,564
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
509
00:25:01,633 --> 00:25:03,567
♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪
510
00:25:03,635 --> 00:25:05,669
♪ And waste your time of day ♪
511
00:25:05,738 --> 00:25:07,704
♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪
512
00:25:07,773 --> 00:25:09,873
♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪
513
00:25:09,942 --> 00:25:12,142
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
514
00:25:12,210 --> 00:25:14,255
♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪
515
00:25:14,279 --> 00:25:16,913
♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪
516
00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:20,617
♪ Well, listen to this ♪
517
00:25:20,686 --> 00:25:24,538
[Mister Ed] ♪ I am Mister Ed ♪
518
00:25:28,994 --> 00:25:31,994
[Man] This has been a
Filmways television presentation.
34506
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof