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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,685 --> 00:00:03,985 [whinnies] 2 00:00:04,054 --> 00:00:07,339 Hello, I'm Mr. Ed. 3 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,146 ♪ A horse is a horse, of course, of course ♪ 4 00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:16,126 ♪ And no one can talk to a horse of course ♪ 5 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:18,230 ♪ That is, of course, unless the horse ♪ 6 00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:20,352 ♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪ 7 00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:22,398 ♪ Go right to the source and ask the horse ♪ 8 00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:23,450 ♪ He'll give you the answer ♪ 9 00:00:23,474 --> 00:00:24,756 ♪ That you'll endorse ♪ 10 00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:26,859 ♪ He's always on a steady course ♪ 11 00:00:26,927 --> 00:00:28,727 ♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪ 12 00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:49,409 Right there by that fence, honey. 13 00:00:49,433 --> 00:00:50,460 Perfect spot for a picture. 14 00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:51,599 Okay, honey. 15 00:00:51,668 --> 00:00:52,718 Addison, doll. 16 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,286 How about a picture of you? 17 00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:56,721 Those baby blue eyes would look beautiful in color. 18 00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:57,950 I don't deny that, my dear, 19 00:00:58,008 --> 00:00:59,123 but I'm a little weary. 20 00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:02,077 Oh, please. Just one picture for my wallet? 21 00:01:02,146 --> 00:01:03,361 That will be the closest 22 00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:05,797 I've been to my money in a long time. 23 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:11,019 Hold it just a minute while I focus, honey. 24 00:01:11,088 --> 00:01:12,203 Howdy, folks. 25 00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:13,605 Oh, darn. 26 00:01:13,673 --> 00:01:15,818 Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. Did I spoil your snapshot? 27 00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:16,959 Well, that's okay. 28 00:01:17,027 --> 00:01:18,855 She's got special rates for group pictures. 29 00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:21,963 Ah. You folks interested maybe 30 00:01:22,032 --> 00:01:24,010 in buying some do-dads for the house? 31 00:01:24,034 --> 00:01:25,845 I'm running an auction here this Sunday. 32 00:01:25,869 --> 00:01:26,985 Auction? 33 00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:28,270 What auction? Where? 34 00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:30,889 What are they selling and how many to a customer? 35 00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:32,607 Auction? Where? 36 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,509 Kay, let's go home. 37 00:01:34,578 --> 00:01:36,389 Come this Sunday. You'll be able to pick up 38 00:01:36,413 --> 00:01:39,081 some real fine bargains at Z. Dowd's. 39 00:01:39,149 --> 00:01:42,267 I'm selling everything on this farm from soup to nuts. 40 00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:43,596 We have plenty of both. Thank you. 41 00:01:43,620 --> 00:01:44,803 Come on. Let's go. 42 00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:46,783 Oh, I've got to see what he's selling. 43 00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:48,887 Right this way, ma'am, through the gates. 44 00:01:50,643 --> 00:01:52,744 That woman will buy anything. 45 00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:56,882 To Kay, the world is just one big department store. 46 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,952 Come on, Roger. It's only money. 47 00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:02,253 I'm glad it's yours. 48 00:02:02,306 --> 00:02:04,322 Well, thank you. 49 00:02:05,825 --> 00:02:07,737 Sit up on the fence for one more, honey. 50 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,510 All right. 51 00:02:09,579 --> 00:02:10,979 Oh, move over just a little bit. 52 00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:12,676 I want to get the horse in the background. 53 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:13,860 Make it look real country. 54 00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:14,884 Okay. 55 00:02:16,669 --> 00:02:18,086 Sit back a little more. 56 00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:21,072 Oh, a little more. 57 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:24,792 Wilbur? 58 00:02:24,861 --> 00:02:26,828 Where are you? 59 00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:28,012 Wilbur! 60 00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:30,616 Oh, honey, are you all right? 61 00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:34,085 I don't know. 62 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:37,038 Does that camera take x-ray pictures? 63 00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:40,425 [laughing] 64 00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,814 There is nothing funny about falling off a fence. 65 00:02:45,883 --> 00:02:47,198 It could happen to anybody. 66 00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:50,118 Uh, never happened to me. 67 00:02:50,186 --> 00:02:51,236 [laughing] 68 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,538 [Roger] Wilbur, are you in there? 69 00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:54,656 Yes, Roger. 70 00:02:54,725 --> 00:02:55,725 Shh. 71 00:03:01,298 --> 00:03:03,297 Wilbur, 72 00:03:03,366 --> 00:03:05,478 I picked up your snapshots at the drug store. 73 00:03:05,502 --> 00:03:07,347 Oh, thank you, Roger. How much do I owe you? 74 00:03:07,371 --> 00:03:10,855 Nothing if-if you will help me on the this auction business. 75 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:13,236 Oh, Kay still wants to go to that auction on Sunday, huh? 76 00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:14,475 That's all she talks about. 77 00:03:14,544 --> 00:03:17,629 She wants to pick up a few things for our backyard. 78 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:18,913 Like what? 79 00:03:18,982 --> 00:03:21,732 Oh, a wagon wheel, a kerosene lamp, an old water pump. 80 00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:23,646 She would buy the farmer if he were marked down. 81 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,754 I don't think that my wife's any different. 82 00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:28,673 Now remember, we've got to stick together on this. 83 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:31,009 No auction this Sunday. 84 00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:32,778 Right? 85 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:33,846 Right. 86 00:03:38,068 --> 00:03:39,384 [laughing] 87 00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:42,020 Oh, brother. 88 00:03:42,072 --> 00:03:43,755 [laughing] 89 00:03:47,110 --> 00:03:48,777 What's so funny? 90 00:03:48,845 --> 00:03:50,094 When I fell off the fence, 91 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:53,915 all Carol got was a picture of an old plow horse. 92 00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,149 Don't laugh. 93 00:03:55,218 --> 00:03:57,518 Some of my best friends pull plows. 94 00:03:57,587 --> 00:03:59,003 Let me see it. 95 00:03:59,890 --> 00:04:01,790 Wait till Carol sees this shot. 96 00:04:01,858 --> 00:04:03,474 Uh-huh. 97 00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:05,243 Wait a minute. 98 00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:06,373 What's the matter, Ed? 99 00:04:06,397 --> 00:04:08,930 That horse in the picture. 100 00:04:11,134 --> 00:04:12,134 What about her? 101 00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:14,285 She's my mother. 102 00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:30,869 Well, there she is. 103 00:04:31,922 --> 00:04:33,654 Are you sure that's your mother? 104 00:04:33,723 --> 00:04:36,057 That's Mama. 105 00:04:36,126 --> 00:04:38,159 Go ahead. Go over to her. 106 00:04:38,228 --> 00:04:39,577 How do I look? 107 00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:41,029 You look fine. 108 00:04:41,098 --> 00:04:42,931 Is my hair combed? 109 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:46,934 Yes, now look. Stop being so nervous. 110 00:04:47,003 --> 00:04:49,804 Mom taught us kids to be neat. 111 00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:52,224 Your hair is combed. Your shoes are shined. 112 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,525 You look great. Go over to her. 113 00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:56,527 [clears throat] Okay. 114 00:05:11,362 --> 00:05:13,978 Fine looking horse you got there, mister. 115 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:16,081 Oh, hello, Mr. Dowd. 116 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,483 Say, ain't you the fellow 117 00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,362 that fell off my fence a couple of days ago. 118 00:05:20,386 --> 00:05:21,403 That's right. 119 00:05:21,471 --> 00:05:24,923 Hey, your horse seems to like Betsy. 120 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:27,525 I'll sell it to you real cheap. 121 00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:29,806 Of course she ain't nothing but a broken-down, old plug. 122 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,796 [whinnies] 123 00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:34,749 What's wrong with him? 124 00:05:34,818 --> 00:05:36,267 You insulted his mother. 125 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,419 His mother? 126 00:05:37,488 --> 00:05:42,307 Yeah. He recognized her from a snapshot we took. 127 00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:43,591 Who recognized her? 128 00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:45,109 Her son. 129 00:05:45,162 --> 00:05:46,978 My horse. He did. 130 00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:49,080 Well, uh, excuse me. 131 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:54,001 I... I've got some butter to churn. 132 00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,826 Calling Mom an old plug. 133 00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,779 I should have kicked him in his rutabaga. 134 00:06:04,847 --> 00:06:07,348 Ed, please. Mr. Dowd didn't mean it. 135 00:06:07,417 --> 00:06:11,619 Hello, Betsy. You've got a wonderful son. 136 00:06:11,688 --> 00:06:14,672 No use, Wilbur. She doesn't understand. 137 00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:16,336 You mean, she doesn't talk like you? 138 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:20,027 Nope, I'm the only black sheep in the family. 139 00:06:20,096 --> 00:06:22,074 Well, then how do you communicate with her? 140 00:06:22,098 --> 00:06:24,966 Horse talk. 141 00:06:25,035 --> 00:06:27,102 You know, we were here before people. 142 00:06:28,906 --> 00:06:29,988 Tell her I like her. 143 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,956 [grunting] 144 00:06:37,514 --> 00:06:41,850 Okay, buy my mother and let's go home. 145 00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:46,387 Gee, I-I don't know, Ed. 146 00:06:46,456 --> 00:06:49,174 I'm going to have to ask Carol first. 147 00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:52,494 But I don't want my mother pulling a plow. 148 00:06:52,562 --> 00:06:55,330 I know how you feel, Ed. 149 00:06:55,399 --> 00:06:58,683 Well, tell your mother I'll do my best. 150 00:07:03,907 --> 00:07:05,941 Carol. 151 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,025 Yes? 152 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,093 Come here, dear. 153 00:07:12,048 --> 00:07:14,065 Oh, I've missed you. 154 00:07:14,117 --> 00:07:15,049 We've been together all evening. 155 00:07:15,118 --> 00:07:16,684 No, we haven't. 156 00:07:16,753 --> 00:07:20,104 You've been in that kitchen for 5 minutes. 157 00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:21,906 Oh, Wilbur. 158 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,776 You know when I miss you most? 159 00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,478 When I'm on my horse. 160 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,446 - What? - Yeah. 161 00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:30,492 You know, some days when I'm riding along on Mr. Ed 162 00:07:30,516 --> 00:07:32,850 I just wish you were right there with me. 163 00:07:32,919 --> 00:07:35,253 Wouldn't it be a little crowded in the saddle? 164 00:07:38,942 --> 00:07:41,075 Carol... 165 00:07:41,144 --> 00:07:44,228 I've been thinking about buying you a horse. 166 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,413 Two horses? 167 00:07:45,482 --> 00:07:47,616 Oh, isn't that a little extravagant? 168 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:51,285 I mean the upkeep and... Oh, what's money 169 00:07:51,354 --> 00:07:55,556 when you're riding alongside the woman you love? 170 00:07:55,625 --> 00:07:57,859 Wilbur, you know I don't ride very well. 171 00:07:57,928 --> 00:08:00,106 Yeah, I know, and that's why I was looking around 172 00:08:00,130 --> 00:08:01,929 and I found a real gentle horse. 173 00:08:01,998 --> 00:08:02,998 You'll love her. 174 00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:04,610 Oh, where did you find this horse? 175 00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:07,452 Well, you remember that picture you took 176 00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:08,614 when I fell off the fence? 177 00:08:08,638 --> 00:08:09,638 Mm-hmm. 178 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,958 No. 179 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:18,096 You mean you want me to ride that decrepit, old plow horse? 180 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,781 Please. 181 00:08:19,849 --> 00:08:22,083 You're talking about somebody's mother. 182 00:08:22,152 --> 00:08:26,321 Forget it, Wilbur. We just don't need two horses. 183 00:08:26,390 --> 00:08:27,739 I'll make a deal with you. 184 00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:30,091 You ride Ed and I'll ride the plow horse. 185 00:08:30,159 --> 00:08:31,610 That's absurd. 186 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,959 I'll finish the dishes and we'll go to a movie, huh? 187 00:08:41,371 --> 00:08:43,771 Don't worry, Mama. 188 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:47,842 You're not going to pull that plow much longer. 189 00:08:47,911 --> 00:08:50,245 I know I was a kooky kid, 190 00:08:50,313 --> 00:08:53,665 but I've sowed my wild oats. 191 00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:57,836 I'm going to take care of you in your old age. 192 00:09:02,893 --> 00:09:04,108 Hi, Ed. 193 00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:05,810 Hi, Wilbur. 194 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,979 When do we pick up Mother? 195 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,909 I'm afraid I've got some bad news. 196 00:09:09,933 --> 00:09:11,443 Carol just doesn't want another horse. 197 00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,262 - Oh. - Look, I'm not giving up. 198 00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:15,097 Now, she wants to go to a movie tonight, 199 00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:17,032 so I'll pick a real sentimental one. 200 00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,856 Maybe this will soften her up. 201 00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:23,294 Chin up, Mom. 202 00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:26,197 Your little Edward ain't letting you down. 203 00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:28,516 I isn't. 204 00:09:28,584 --> 00:09:34,538 ♪ Mother you are growing old ♪ 205 00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:38,943 ♪ Silver threads among the gold ♪ 206 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,327 [door bell] 207 00:09:42,265 --> 00:09:43,414 Oh, come in, neighbors. 208 00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:45,495 Oh, hi, kids. Too late for a cup of coffee. 209 00:09:45,519 --> 00:09:46,567 No, come on in. 210 00:09:46,636 --> 00:09:48,648 Oh, good. How was the picture, darlings? 211 00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:51,422 Great, just great. 212 00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:53,925 All about a son's love for his mother. 213 00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:56,327 We're not getting another horse. 214 00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:57,896 Is that the name of the picture? 215 00:09:57,964 --> 00:09:59,358 Wilbur wants to buy that plow horse 216 00:09:59,382 --> 00:10:01,983 we saw at the farm the other day. 217 00:10:02,052 --> 00:10:04,468 Oh, that's the place we're going to this Sunday. 218 00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:07,271 Kay, dear, I told you we are not going to that auction. 219 00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:08,873 She's a real sweet horse. 220 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:12,427 But all I want to do is pick up a few things for the backyard. 221 00:10:12,495 --> 00:10:14,640 It was our front yard before she started adding things. 222 00:10:14,664 --> 00:10:17,165 She's the gentlest thing you've ever seen. 223 00:10:17,234 --> 00:10:18,911 You wouldn't think so if you lived with her. 224 00:10:18,935 --> 00:10:20,284 I'm talking about the horse. 225 00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:22,187 We're not getting any horse. 226 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:24,222 Did my husband call me a horse? 227 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,907 I'm talking about Ed's mother. 228 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:27,341 Ed's mother? 229 00:10:27,410 --> 00:10:28,626 He had one, you know. 230 00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,328 Well, most of us do. 231 00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:32,730 Will somebody please tell me what we're talking about. 232 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,400 My husband wants to buy another horse. 233 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,902 This is not just another horse. 234 00:10:37,954 --> 00:10:39,471 This is Ed's mother. 235 00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:40,788 Really? 236 00:10:43,026 --> 00:10:44,026 How do you know? 237 00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:48,079 He says that Mr. Ed recognized his mother 238 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,530 from the picture I took. 239 00:10:51,935 --> 00:10:54,218 Pardon me, I've got to bed down my horse. 240 00:10:56,306 --> 00:10:59,424 Does he really want to buy that old plow horse? 241 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,693 Well, you know how Wilbur loves animals. 242 00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:04,178 If it were up to him, we'd be living in a zoo. 243 00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:13,187 Well? 244 00:11:14,791 --> 00:11:17,825 I'm sorry, Ed. Carol said no again. 245 00:11:17,894 --> 00:11:20,161 Did you tell her it's my mother? 246 00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:21,246 Yeah. 247 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:22,813 She just doesn't believe me. 248 00:11:22,882 --> 00:11:25,516 Does she want to see my birth certificate? 249 00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:27,902 I'm sorry, Ed. 250 00:11:27,970 --> 00:11:29,220 It's hopeless. 251 00:11:31,425 --> 00:11:32,507 Uh, Wilbur. 252 00:11:32,575 --> 00:11:33,924 Yeah? 253 00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:36,778 Would you let your mother pull a plow? 254 00:11:42,986 --> 00:11:43,986 Big deal. 255 00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:48,289 Where's the phone directory? 256 00:11:48,358 --> 00:11:50,808 I'll call Dowd myself. 257 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,057 Hello, Ed. 258 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:07,126 Hello. 259 00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:12,497 Don't worry, Mom. 260 00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,585 What is your mother doing here? 261 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:20,054 What mother? 262 00:12:20,122 --> 00:12:21,639 How did she get in here? 263 00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:22,857 You bought her. 264 00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:24,191 Me? 265 00:12:24,260 --> 00:12:25,643 What are you talking about? 266 00:12:25,711 --> 00:12:28,145 Okay, so I bought her. 267 00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:30,632 What did you do? 268 00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:34,819 I called up Dowd and I told him I was your business manager. 269 00:12:34,871 --> 00:12:36,154 You didn't. 270 00:12:36,222 --> 00:12:39,974 Just send him a check for $50. 271 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,762 Oh, I got to keep Carol out of here. 272 00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:55,390 Carol's coming. 273 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:57,686 If she sees your mother, she'll kick us both out. 274 00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,693 Don't let her come in here. 275 00:12:59,762 --> 00:13:01,607 But how? How am I going to keep her out? 276 00:13:01,631 --> 00:13:03,164 Filibuster. 277 00:13:08,071 --> 00:13:10,104 Honey, I brought you some lunch. 278 00:13:10,172 --> 00:13:12,252 A sandwich and some milk and some cookies. 279 00:13:12,308 --> 00:13:13,891 Thank you. I'll eat it out here. 280 00:13:13,943 --> 00:13:15,560 In this wind. 281 00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:16,844 What wind? 282 00:13:16,913 --> 00:13:18,279 Oh, Wilbur. 283 00:13:18,348 --> 00:13:20,882 I like to eat outdoors. It's-it's invigorating. 284 00:13:20,951 --> 00:13:23,934 Oh, honey. I don't have time. I have a roast in the oven. 285 00:13:40,269 --> 00:13:42,114 You shouldn't have done this, Ed. 286 00:13:42,138 --> 00:13:44,906 Carol is going to think I did it behind her back. 287 00:13:44,974 --> 00:13:49,643 Look at her, Wilbur. Isn't she beautiful? 288 00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,689 I better to find a place to hide her 289 00:13:51,714 --> 00:13:53,625 while I try to get Carol to accept her. 290 00:13:53,649 --> 00:13:54,866 Mm-hmm. 291 00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:57,618 Addison's garage. 292 00:13:57,687 --> 00:13:59,587 Bless you, Wilbur. 293 00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:04,191 Fine lad. 294 00:14:10,967 --> 00:14:12,733 [busy signal] 295 00:14:12,802 --> 00:14:14,018 The line's busy. 296 00:14:15,538 --> 00:14:17,989 Ed, I better take your mother right over there. 297 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:24,011 Mr. Dowd, what time are you starting your auction tomorrow? 298 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,229 11 o'clock? 299 00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:26,447 Fine, we'll be there. 300 00:14:26,516 --> 00:14:27,782 And I... 301 00:14:27,851 --> 00:14:31,269 The voice you have just heard had been disconnected. 302 00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:32,531 You shouldn't have done that. 303 00:14:32,555 --> 00:14:33,638 Woman, have a heart. 304 00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,284 We've got a whole garage full of junk. 305 00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:36,308 It's not junk. 306 00:14:36,359 --> 00:14:38,275 We have enough grandfather clocks 307 00:14:38,344 --> 00:14:39,527 to start an old folks home. 308 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,979 Oh, really, Roger. Stop exaggerating. 309 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,959 I'm going to use everything I bought. 310 00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:46,084 Kay, dear heart, light of my life, 311 00:14:46,152 --> 00:14:48,419 what do you intend to do with the spinning wheel 312 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:49,770 you bought three years ago? 313 00:14:49,839 --> 00:14:52,856 Well, I... I may make a planter out of it. 314 00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:54,686 You'd make a planter out of anything, wouldn't you? 315 00:14:54,710 --> 00:14:57,495 Oh, Addison, please, doll. 316 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:58,712 Let's go Sunday. 317 00:14:58,781 --> 00:15:01,566 I promise you I won't buy. I'll just look. 318 00:15:01,635 --> 00:15:02,717 Well, if you must look, 319 00:15:02,785 --> 00:15:04,697 come and have a look at the pawn shop 320 00:15:04,721 --> 00:15:06,470 we laughingly call our garage. 321 00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:09,590 Oh, really, Roger. What are you trying to prove? 322 00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:10,608 I know what I bought. 323 00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:11,992 I just want you to see 324 00:15:12,061 --> 00:15:14,812 why I have to park my car in the driveway every week. 325 00:15:16,099 --> 00:15:17,710 Addison, I know what's in this garage, 326 00:15:17,734 --> 00:15:19,774 and it's all stuff we can use some day. 327 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:27,858 What kind of a planter is that going to make? 328 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,827 How did that get here? 329 00:15:29,895 --> 00:15:34,398 Why, it's that old plow horse that Wilbur wanted to buy. 330 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,785 Wilbur, where do you think 331 00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:41,104 I ought to take her on Mother's Day? 332 00:15:41,173 --> 00:15:44,058 Ed, we're going to have a lot of trouble with Carol. 333 00:15:44,127 --> 00:15:46,127 You should never have phoned Mr. Dowd. 334 00:15:46,162 --> 00:15:47,378 There comes a time 335 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:51,949 when a horse has to take matters into his own hooves. 336 00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:53,418 Well, I better phone Roger again 337 00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:56,186 and tell him I've got your mother in his garage. 338 00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,358 [Mr. Ed humming] 339 00:16:08,117 --> 00:16:09,662 Anything else I can get you, dear? 340 00:16:09,686 --> 00:16:11,702 No, thank you, honey. 341 00:16:11,755 --> 00:16:14,221 Are you still angry with me, darling? 342 00:16:14,290 --> 00:16:15,840 I mean about the other horse? 343 00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:18,793 No, no, I-I see your side of it, dear. 344 00:16:18,861 --> 00:16:20,310 I hope you'll change your mind. 345 00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:21,745 I don't want to seem obstinate. 346 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,030 That's my girl. 347 00:16:23,099 --> 00:16:25,465 I mean, just promise me you'll keep an open mind. 348 00:16:25,534 --> 00:16:26,751 Sleep on it, huh? 349 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,086 All right, Wilbur. I better get back to my roast. 350 00:16:29,138 --> 00:16:31,372 Let me carry that for you. 351 00:16:37,781 --> 00:16:39,908 Honey, if you change your mind about that other horse 352 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,932 I think I can get you a quick delivery. 353 00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:50,074 I, uh, believe this belongs to your herd. 354 00:16:51,393 --> 00:16:53,204 Roger, where did you get the horse? 355 00:16:53,228 --> 00:16:55,429 I didn't know you liked horses. 356 00:16:55,498 --> 00:16:56,614 Carol? 357 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,949 Wilbur, there must be an explanation for this. 358 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,552 Yeah? Well, let's hear it. 359 00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:03,654 Wilbur, how could you? 360 00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:06,874 You'll excuse me if I miss this preliminary bout. 361 00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:09,021 I'm fighting in the main event next door. 362 00:17:09,045 --> 00:17:11,995 It's great to keep an open mind, quick delivery... 363 00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:14,064 That horse goes back this instant. 364 00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:17,151 Wilbur, right now. 365 00:17:17,220 --> 00:17:19,152 Carol, please... Right now, Wilbur. 366 00:17:19,221 --> 00:17:21,005 Take that horse back right now. 367 00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:22,074 Oh! 368 00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:38,973 Ed, I'm sorry. I tried. 369 00:17:39,041 --> 00:17:41,608 Can I say good-bye to Mama? 370 00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,092 [horses grunting] 371 00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:27,771 Cheer up, Ed. 372 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:35,596 ♪ Mother, you are growing old ♪ 373 00:18:35,664 --> 00:18:41,602 ♪ Silver threads among the gold ♪ 374 00:18:44,173 --> 00:18:46,673 Breakfast in a few minutes. 375 00:18:46,742 --> 00:18:49,193 Is he still angry about returning that other horse? 376 00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:50,177 I guess so. 377 00:18:50,246 --> 00:18:51,574 Agh, husbands can be so stubborn. 378 00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:54,515 Do you know that Addison actually believes 379 00:18:54,584 --> 00:18:56,478 that I'm not going to that auction today? 380 00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:57,451 And you're not. 381 00:18:57,519 --> 00:18:58,469 Yes, I am. 382 00:18:58,538 --> 00:18:59,653 Good morning, Wilbur. 383 00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:00,671 No, you're not. 384 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:02,351 Good morning, Wilbur. Yes, I am. 385 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:03,924 Good morning. 386 00:19:03,993 --> 00:19:05,426 What's going on around here? 387 00:19:05,494 --> 00:19:08,645 Oh, they're just discussing going to the auction today. 388 00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:10,397 And we decided against it. 389 00:19:10,466 --> 00:19:12,432 Carol would like to go. 390 00:19:12,501 --> 00:19:15,119 Only if it's all right with you, dear. 391 00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:17,221 Oh, yeah... 392 00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:20,408 No, no. I thought we'd just relax around the house today. 393 00:19:20,476 --> 00:19:22,504 Wilbur, you're a man after my own heart. 394 00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:25,245 Well, I'll be right back. I've got to feed Ed. 395 00:19:25,314 --> 00:19:29,249 Hurry, dear. Breakfast will be ready in just a few minutes. 396 00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:34,279 Morning, Ed. How's... 397 00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:42,247 Ed? 398 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,792 Went home to Mother. 399 00:19:56,762 --> 00:19:58,896 He must have just left. 400 00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:00,084 The crayon is still wet. 401 00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:03,984 Addison, please. 402 00:20:04,052 --> 00:20:07,738 I promise you that we'll only stay at the auction for an hour. 403 00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,473 Half hour? 404 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,925 Breakfast is ready. 405 00:20:10,993 --> 00:20:13,227 15 minutes? 406 00:20:13,296 --> 00:20:15,946 We'll just drive by? 407 00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:19,166 My dear, you are not buying any wagon wheels today. 408 00:20:19,234 --> 00:20:22,036 Wilbur and I have decided against it. 409 00:20:22,104 --> 00:20:24,922 Why do you men always stick together? 410 00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:26,801 Because every day of a married man's life 411 00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:28,608 is Custard's last stand. 412 00:20:28,677 --> 00:20:31,979 Well, let's finish up breakfast and get down to that auction. 413 00:20:34,917 --> 00:20:36,383 I have just been scalped. 414 00:20:50,549 --> 00:20:54,267 All right, folks. The auction will start in a few minutes now. 415 00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:01,626 Pardon me, sir. 416 00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:05,179 Yes, sir, what can I... Oh, it's you. 417 00:21:05,248 --> 00:21:07,480 Now look Mr. Post, that wasn't fair. 418 00:21:07,549 --> 00:21:10,568 Buying my horse on the telephone and then sending her back. 419 00:21:10,636 --> 00:21:11,785 Anything you buy today 420 00:21:11,854 --> 00:21:15,338 is strictly cash on the barrelhead. 421 00:21:15,391 --> 00:21:16,391 Well, I'm sorry. 422 00:21:16,475 --> 00:21:18,426 Have you seen my horse around here? 423 00:21:18,494 --> 00:21:20,105 Now, what makes you think he'd be around here? 424 00:21:20,129 --> 00:21:22,562 He left a note saying he was going back to mother. 425 00:21:28,086 --> 00:21:29,403 Well, uh... 426 00:21:29,488 --> 00:21:33,340 I-I guess I better start the auction. 427 00:21:40,999 --> 00:21:42,799 Wilbur, have you seen Kay? 428 00:21:42,868 --> 00:21:44,063 I've been looking all over for her. 429 00:21:44,087 --> 00:21:45,435 No. 430 00:21:45,504 --> 00:21:47,316 Well, I've got to find her before the bidding starts 431 00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:49,173 or I'll walk home in a barrel. 432 00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:51,036 All right, folks. All right. [striking gavel] 433 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,993 Gather around. Now, we've got 434 00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:56,013 some right powerful bargains for you lucky people. 435 00:21:56,081 --> 00:22:00,517 Now the first item is this sturdy plow horse. 436 00:22:00,586 --> 00:22:03,403 Got a lot of hard-working years left in her yet. 437 00:22:03,472 --> 00:22:04,922 Now, who'll start the bidding? 438 00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:05,906 $10. 439 00:22:05,975 --> 00:22:06,923 15. 440 00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:08,208 20. 441 00:22:08,277 --> 00:22:12,312 All right, I hear 20. Do I hear 25? 442 00:22:12,381 --> 00:22:13,330 25. 443 00:22:13,399 --> 00:22:14,581 30. 444 00:22:14,650 --> 00:22:16,316 35. 445 00:22:16,385 --> 00:22:19,052 35, I have 35. Do I hear 40? 446 00:22:19,121 --> 00:22:21,088 Ed, what are you doing? 447 00:22:21,157 --> 00:22:23,974 Buying my mother. Do you mind? 448 00:22:24,043 --> 00:22:26,076 40, anyone? 40, 40, 40 anyone? 449 00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:27,338 - 40. - Thank you. 450 00:22:27,362 --> 00:22:29,429 But you know we can't take her home. 451 00:22:29,498 --> 00:22:31,082 45. 452 00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:34,068 45, I have 45. Do I hear 50? 453 00:22:34,136 --> 00:22:36,003 Ed, you don't have any money. 454 00:22:36,072 --> 00:22:37,454 How are you going to pay? 455 00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:39,089 This is my mother. 456 00:22:39,158 --> 00:22:43,994 I'll beg. I'll work. I'll steal. I'll do anything. 457 00:22:44,063 --> 00:22:45,929 50, 50, do I hear 50? 458 00:22:45,998 --> 00:22:47,426 - 50. - Thank you. 459 00:22:47,450 --> 00:22:50,167 I have 50, 50, 50. Do I hear 55? 460 00:22:50,236 --> 00:22:53,119 Wilbur, what's Mr. Ed doing here? 461 00:22:53,188 --> 00:22:55,455 Do I hear 55? 462 00:22:55,524 --> 00:22:56,919 [Dowd] All right. 463 00:22:56,943 --> 00:22:59,142 50 once. 464 00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:00,810 50 twice. 465 00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:01,879 50... 466 00:23:02,981 --> 00:23:04,064 55. 467 00:23:05,184 --> 00:23:08,735 Sold, to that man for $55. 468 00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:12,940 Wilbur, why did you buy that horse? 469 00:23:13,009 --> 00:23:15,859 Honey, because that is Mr. Ed's mother. 470 00:23:15,928 --> 00:23:17,311 Believe me. 471 00:23:17,379 --> 00:23:20,364 I bought her and I'm going to give her to some nice family. 472 00:23:20,433 --> 00:23:23,267 Maybe with a couple of kids who can love her 473 00:23:23,319 --> 00:23:25,468 and make her last years happy ones. 474 00:23:30,976 --> 00:23:32,292 All right, honey. 475 00:23:32,361 --> 00:23:34,401 I don't mind if you're an animal lover. 476 00:23:34,429 --> 00:23:36,697 As long as you keep on being a wife lover. 477 00:23:38,483 --> 00:23:39,616 I better go find Kay. 478 00:23:43,405 --> 00:23:46,991 Wilbur, if you were a girl, I'd kiss you. 479 00:23:47,059 --> 00:23:50,077 I think I will anyway. 480 00:23:54,333 --> 00:23:55,766 All right, folks. 481 00:23:55,834 --> 00:23:57,684 Who will give me $15? 482 00:23:57,753 --> 00:23:59,619 Believe me, it's a steal. 483 00:23:59,688 --> 00:24:00,782 [Man] 15. 484 00:24:00,806 --> 00:24:02,339 [Man] 17. 485 00:24:02,408 --> 00:24:04,024 20. 486 00:24:04,093 --> 00:24:05,692 [Man] 22. 487 00:24:05,761 --> 00:24:07,544 22, 22, I've got 22. 488 00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:08,696 Do I hear 23? 489 00:24:08,781 --> 00:24:10,830 Why don't you go up to 50? 490 00:24:10,899 --> 00:24:12,933 50, sold. 491 00:24:13,001 --> 00:24:16,737 To that gentleman with the mustache for $50. 492 00:24:18,707 --> 00:24:19,956 Oh, Thank you, doll. 493 00:24:20,025 --> 00:24:22,058 You bought me my wagon wheel. 494 00:24:26,132 --> 00:24:28,499 I just bought $50 wagon wheel. 495 00:24:31,587 --> 00:24:33,136 Congratulations. 496 00:24:33,205 --> 00:24:35,572 It should make a beautiful planter. 497 00:24:42,364 --> 00:24:45,381 Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA 498 00:24:45,450 --> 00:24:47,562 ♪ A horse is a horse, of course, of course ♪ 499 00:24:47,586 --> 00:24:49,853 ♪ And no one can talk to a horse, of course ♪ 500 00:24:49,922 --> 00:24:51,967 ♪ That is, of course, unless the horse ♪ 501 00:24:51,991 --> 00:24:53,991 ♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪ 502 00:24:54,059 --> 00:24:56,171 ♪ Go right to the source and ask the horse ♪ 503 00:24:56,195 --> 00:24:57,255 ♪ He'll give you the answer ♪ 504 00:24:57,279 --> 00:24:58,595 ♪ That you'll endorse ♪ 505 00:24:58,664 --> 00:25:00,541 ♪ He's always on a steady course ♪ 506 00:25:00,565 --> 00:25:02,666 ♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪ 507 00:25:02,734 --> 00:25:04,668 ♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪ 508 00:25:04,737 --> 00:25:06,753 ♪ And waste your time of day ♪ 509 00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:08,799 ♪ But Mister Ed will never speak ♪ 510 00:25:08,857 --> 00:25:10,958 ♪ Unless he has something to say ♪ 511 00:25:11,026 --> 00:25:13,227 ♪ A horse is a horse, of course, of course ♪ 512 00:25:13,312 --> 00:25:15,340 ♪ And this one will talk till his voice is hoarse ♪ 513 00:25:15,364 --> 00:25:18,015 ♪ You never heard of a talking horse? ♪ 514 00:25:19,334 --> 00:25:21,701 ♪ Well, listen to this ♪ 515 00:25:21,770 --> 00:25:25,639 [Mister Ed] ♪ I am Mister Ed ♪ 516 00:25:30,245 --> 00:25:33,297 [Man] This has been a Filmways television presentation. 33685

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