All language subtitles for Mr. Ed S01E07 Pageant Show.DVDRip.HI.cc.en.SHOUT

[whinnies]

Hello, I'm Mr. Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

- [snaps fingers]
- Ho!

[snapping]

Olé!

[Carol] Wilbur, here's the...

All right, girls, at
the sound of the bell,

I want you both to
come out fighting.

I should have listened to my husband
and come as a Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Kay, why didn't you tell me
you were coming as Carmen?

Well, I've been trying to
phone you since last night,

but your line's been busy.

That's funny.

I haven't used the phone.

I thought so.

Wilbur, you left the phone
off the hook in the barn again.

- It must have been
that horse.
- What did you say?

I mean, he must have
knocked it off accidentally.

I'll go and look. Excuse me.

Is Wilbur coming to the pageant?

No. Is Roger?

Well, I'm meeting
with a little resistance.

As soon as I bring
up the subject,

he locks himself
in the bathroom.

No fun without Wilbur.

I wish I could think of some way
to convince him to come along.

Well, there is a way, darling.

What?

Before I tell you,

one of us will have to
resign from the Carmen club.

Well?

Olé!

[rapid chatting from phone]

Uh-oh.

You left the phone
off the hook again.

So, I made a mistake.

I'm only human.

Why do you keep
using that phone?

I get lonely here all by myself.

Well, Carol is blaming me,

and I'm getting tired
of your negligence.

Ed, it is time you and I
had a man-to-man talk.

Okay, take off the apron.

Well, I... I was just helping
Carol with the dishes.

- Wilbur.
- Yes, Roger.

Now, don't let me
interrupt your work.

I thought maybe you'd
like to play golf Saturday.

Not a bad idea.

Now, the girls will be leaving
for that parade about 12:00.

We can tell them how
beautiful they look,

how sorry we are
we can't join them,

and then laugh all the
way to the golf course.

- What do you say?
- Great.

See you later.

Hey, you know it's impossible
to get you on the telephone?

Uh-oh.

Ed, if you use that
phone once more,

I am pulling it out.
You understand?

Yes, master.

You forgot your apron, honey.

Hey, what do you
think? Is it beautiful?

It's gorgeous. Oh, darling,
you'll make a beautiful Elaine.

Oh, thanks, but what good
is Elaine without Sir Lancelot?

Here is the book.

Just do what I told you. Tell
him he looks like Sir Lancelot.

But he doesn't.

Wilbur's too smart.
You can't soft-soap him.

It'll work.

Maybe with your
husband, but not with mine.

Oh, for heaven's sake, Carol.

- Here he comes now.
- Okay.

- Oh, hi, Wilbur.
- Hi, honey.

Look. Look at my new costume.

- Ooh, that's beautiful.
- Hmm.

What's the matter?

Uncanny. What a resemblance.

- What-What? What?
- Here, let me see
your profile.

Oh, I wouldn't believe
it. Carol, wait till you see.

It is simply the
most marvelous thing

I've ever seen in all my life.

Well, here... Let me
see the other side.

Just as good
from the other side.

Oh, it's just
marvelous. Oh, dear...

Goodbye, Kay.
Thank you very much.

[chattering]

Same face.

Bye, Kay.

It is the same
face. It is, dear.

For heaven's sake.

What... What's the resemblance?

Oh, it's silly.

What-wha... What? What's silly?

Well, Kay says you
look just like Sir Lancelot.

Hmm, what's so silly about that?

Hmm.

Same face. Don't you think?

Well, in that light
there is a resemblance.

Hmm? I mean, if I
had a spear in my hand,

there would be
no doubt about it.

I'll be right back.

Giddy-up.

Here's your spear, honey.

Thank you.

Oh, that's no way to
hand anybody a spear.

With a spear, the
straw goes at that end.

Charge!

Well, that's wonderful, honey.

Now, would you show Harold
Jensen how to hold a spear?

Harold Jensen?

You're going to let Harold Jensen
be your knight at the pageant?

Oh, he doesn't look
anything like me.

No, he doesn't, dear.

I mean, who ever heard of
a pot-bellied Sir Lancelot?

Charge!

Addison, please listen to me.

I've got to find a Don
José by tomorrow.

My dear, how about me?

Oh, you're not
listening. I... You?

Well, of course.

I'd make a beautiful toreador.

[speaks foreign language]

Aha! Aho! Ahee!

Oh, Addison, I would have
never dreamed of asking you,

but you would be perfect.

Why, naturally.

I have the figure, the
bearing, the courage,

and... look at these legs.

Imagine these two
beauties in silk stockings?

Oh, Addison. Thank you so much.

My dear, think nothing of it

because I won't be there.

Addison, that was a
dirty trick, leading me on.

My dear, you're going to
have to find another Don José

because this bullfighter is
going to play golf Saturday.

Very well.

I won't go to the pageant.

Suit yourself, my dear.

I'm going to go on the
biggest shopping spree

you ever saw.

Where do I go for my
Don José costume?

- Hello, Ed.
- Hmm.

What's new?

Don't know.

I missed the morning newscast.

I've tried to catch
up with you, Wilbur.

Hello, Roger.

What are you limping for?

I was practicing
putting in my back yard

for our game tomorrow,

and I twisted my ankle.

Oh, that's a shame.

I was looking forward
to beating you, too.

Sorry, old man.

- Hello, Roger.
- Hello, Carol.

Honey, your costume will
be ready in about 30 minutes.

Oh... good.

Costume?

- Didn't he tell you?
- No.

He's going to be Sir
Lancelot in the pageant.

Him? Sir Lancelot?

Oh, boy.

What's so funny? Kay is waiting
for you to try on your costume.

His costume?

- Didn't he tell you?
- No.

Well, he's coming as
Don José the bullfighter.

Aw...

- Oh, I forgot something.
- Don José the bullfighter.

Hey, that's cute.

How did you get roped into it?

Kay hit me in my weak
spot, my money belt.

How about you?

Just stupidity.

- See you later, Lancelot.
- Bye, Don José.

Don José, Lancelot...

What fools these mortals be.

Ed, there are times when a
man has to give in to his wife.

No wife of mine would make
me parade five miles in a hot sun.

- Now...
- Wilbur.

Here's part of the outfit
Mr. Ed's going to wear.

Oh, so Ed is going to march
in the parade, too, huh?

Well, Elaine and Sir
Lancelot need a horse,

so I figured we might
as well use Mr. Ed.

Good idea.

I mean, after all, why should
we walk five miles in a hot sun

when we can ride on
the back of good ol' Ed.

Look, aren't these pretty...
bells and tassels and plumes?

Yeah. You know, we could tie
a great, big red bow on his tail.

[no sound]

Carol, I want to talk to you.

I tried to get you on the phone,

but your line was busy.

- Look.
- Wilbur.

That does it.

- I warned you.
- What?

Hmm? Uh, why, I warned you.

I did. I warned her that
if I did this once more,

I would take the phone
out, and I'm going to.

Hello, Operator?

I would like to have an
extension phone removed, please.

The name is Wilbur Post.

The address is 17340
Valley Boulevard.

[snivels]

Charge!

Hey! What are you doing?

I'm sorry. I was just
practicing with my spear.

That's nice, sonny.

Now, will you tell your mother

the telephone man is
here to take out the phone?

[Wilbur] Hmm? Hmm?

[no sound]

Look, I'm Mr. Post, the owner.

The phone is in the barn.

Oh.

Right over there.

Thank you.

Why are we whispering?

I don't want him to know
the phone is coming out.

You don't?

Who?

The horse.

The horse?

He doesn't want the
phone to come out.

The horse doesn't?

That's right.

Look, sonny, will you
play with your spear

and let me get the phone out?

Leave that phone alone.

- Blow, stupid.
- Who's that?

Where are you?

On the roof.

You want the phone in or out?

In. Go home.

What are you doing,
playing games with me?

Playing games?

Yeah, first you tell me
to leave the phone in,

then you tell me to pull it out?

Make up your mind, will you?

Oh, well, I'm sorry.

There's been a misunderstanding.

You can take the phone out.

Oh, I must have done something
real bad when I was a kid.

Ed, that phone is going out.

If it does, I don't
walk in the parade.

Is that supposed to be a threat?

You can ride on a
big dog, for all I care.

You are going to
be in that parade.

You'll have to carry me.

Oh, Carol, you look lovely.

Oh, thank you.

- So do you.
- Thank you.

Where's Roger?

Why, he's right...

Well, Addison, come on in.

Kay, if I didn't go,

how much shopping would you do?

Six hours and four credit cards.

Olé.

This is the last time I
buy a suit off the rack.

At last they are
putting men up in cans.

Wilbur, all we can
do is pray for rain.

Please, this suit is not
guaranteed against rust.

We're all ready. You
better get Mr. Ed dressed.

Okay.

[grunts]

My Lancelot.

Uh-oh, here he comes.

I'm going to teach that
phone-puller a lesson.

Come on, Ed. It's
time for the parade.

It's growing dark.

Where is everybody?

Come on, Ed. They're waiting.

I've got to get you dressed.

Is that you, mother?

[moans]

Get up, and stop horsing around.

I hear voices but
not on the phone.

Ed, for the last time...

Please, you're
yelling at a sick horse.

Wilbur, I brought
some extra belt...

What's wrong with Mr. Ed?

He is perfectly all right.

[Mister Ed coughs]

But, Wilbur, he's coughing.

Maybe I better call a vet.

There is nothing wrong with him.

[coughs]

Then why is he coughing?

He's faking, Carol. Believe me.

Oh, honey, I know
you're thinking of me,

but we can't go off
and leave Mr. Ed

when he's sick like that.

There will be other
pageants. Let's forget about it.

I'll go call the vet.

No. Carol, please.

Oh, that was a dirty trick.

Are you going to let
her miss that parade?

Is that you, mother?

Mother?

Oh, brother.

Kay, I absolutely refuse to
wear this ridiculous ponytail.

Darling, all bullfighters wear
that funny little hairpiece.

Some of them also get gored,

but we've got to stop someplace.

[Carol] Kay...

I have bad news. Mr. Ed is sick.

Oh, the poor thing.

We can't leave him alone,

so you two better
go on without us.

Carol, you're not
missing the pageant.

I'm afraid so.

Well, well, how do you
feel today, old fellow?

[coughs]

[groans weakly]

Mm-hmm.

Doesn't look bad at all.

Nice color.

Lymph nodes feel all right.

I still say he's faking.

Oh, you can't be too
sure of that, Mr. Post.

After all, the poor thing
can't talk, you know.

But...

Is he all right, doctor?

Heart feels fine,
sounds very good.

I think all this fellow needs
is a good shot of vitamins.

Now, don't be
afraid, old fellow.

Dr. Connors isn't
going to hurt you.

This won't hurt one bit, now.

I told you he was all right.

Come on, honey.
Better tell the Addisons.

Doctor, do you think he's all
right to leave for a few hours?

Oh, he seems fine.

- Well, if you're sure.
- Come on, honey.

[phone rings]

Hello.

Oh, hi, Wilbur.

Really?

Wonderful.

Oh, Addison, the
horse is all right,

and we're going to the pageant.

Olé.

Poor Mr. Ed.

Oh, come on, don't worry.

Dr. Connors knows
what he's doing.

Mr. Post! Mr. Post!

Mr. Post.

What? What happened?

Your horse pushed me down.

I think he wanted to sit on me.

Wilbur, I just knew there was
something wrong with Mr. Ed.

But he showed
no symptoms at all.

He must be
psychologically disturbed.

Doctor, do you know of
any horse-sitting services?

Honey, that's a wonderful idea.

Doctor, would you mind staying
with Mr. Ed till we get back?

Well, I could be back, but
it would cost you so much.

It will be worth it.

Honey, I know how much
this pageant means to you.

Yes, but we still need a horse.

I'll rent one from the
Brunswick Stables.

They're right down the road.

You call the Addisons.
I'll be right back.

- Come on, Doctor.
- Yes.

So they got someone else.

Well, I'll fix him.

Oh, Carol, hold still, will you?

- You're wriggling
like a fish.
- [doorbell rings]

- My goodness.
- Would you please get that?

I can't get the pin in.
Wait a minute, will you?

[Carol] Let me know
if I hit your braid.

I'm Dr. Connors.

How do you do, doctor? Come in.

[Carol] Hello, doctor.

Sorry I couldn't get
here any sooner.

Oh, we really appreciate
you coming back.

That's perfectly all right.

Excuse me, I'll call my husband.

Wilbur. Dr. Connors is here.

Coming, honey.

Giddy-up, Josephine.

Honey, look.

[objects crash and shatter]

Now we can't go.

What's the use? I
better tell the Addisons.

Don't call us. We'll call you.

Come, Carmen.

Well, I'll tell Dr. Connors
we don't need him anymore.

[Mister Ed whinnies]

Mr. Ed, how do you feel, huh?

Aw, you've had a
rough day, haven't you?

I know what's the
matter with you.

You were lonesome, weren't you?

Aw, you're a good horse.

[Wilbur] Honey.

I didn't know you
liked Ed that much.

Well, I feel sorry for him.

I'll bet if he knew how
happy it would make you,

he would want to
go to the pageant.

Well, I just wonder
if he's well enough.

Look.

He's his old self again.

He is.

- Tell the Addisons.
- All right.

- You tell them.
- Okay.

Let's tell them together.

- Good morning, Ed.
- Morning.

I've been thinking, Ed.

That was a real nice gesture,

going to the pageant yesterday.

Yeah, it sure was.

You know, if you
promise to behave,

I'll put the phone
back in the barn. Okay?

You've got my word.

Okay, I'll go in the house
and call the company.

Wilbur.

Use the phone in the office.

Oh, okay.

Hey, who phoned the
company to put this back?

Ed.

It's growing dark.

Where is everybody?

Is that you, mother?

Muh...

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪

♪ And waste your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed] ♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

[Man] This has been a
Filmways television presentation.