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1
00:00:02,327 --> 00:00:03,328
GOING ALL THE WAY
UP TO THE FRONT.
2
00:00:03,328 --> 00:00:04,590
EVERYONE FOLLOW ME.
3
00:00:04,590 --> 00:00:07,202
ALL THE WAY UP HERE.
FILE IN, PLEASE.
4
00:00:07,202 --> 00:00:11,641
HERE IS THE MUSEUM'S
MOST VALUABLE PIECE, "THUMB,"
5
00:00:11,641 --> 00:00:15,253
PAINTED BY CARPACCIO MacGUFFIN,
THE SCOTTISH-ITALIAN MASTER.
6
00:00:15,253 --> 00:00:18,213
THIS PAINTING IS
THE LAST WORK HE EVER DID
7
00:00:18,213 --> 00:00:19,823
BEFORE
HE WENT INTO SECLUSION.
8
00:00:19,823 --> 00:00:22,739
IT IS WORTH
WELL OVER $10 MILLION.
9
00:00:22,739 --> 00:00:25,263
LOOK IN FRONT OF YOU.
SEE THESE VELVET ROPES?
10
00:00:25,263 --> 00:00:28,136
THEY PREVENT ANYONE FROM GETTING
CLOSE TO THE PAINTING.
11
00:00:28,136 --> 00:00:30,094
All: OOH!
12
00:00:30,094 --> 00:00:31,922
AND AS AN ADDED LEVEL
OF SECURITY,
13
00:00:31,922 --> 00:00:33,315
LOOK AT THE SIGN.
14
00:00:33,315 --> 00:00:34,707
[ ALL MURMUR ][ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
15
00:00:34,707 --> 00:00:35,795
ALL RIGHT,
LET'S MOVE ON TO THE ROOM
16
00:00:35,795 --> 00:00:37,667
WITH THE BORING POTS IN IT.
17
00:00:37,667 --> 00:00:40,191
FOLLOW ME.
RIGHT THIS WAY.
18
00:00:40,191 --> 00:00:43,281
EVERYONE THIS WAY.
19
00:00:43,281 --> 00:00:45,109
AND TO YOUR RIGHT.
20
00:00:47,590 --> 00:00:51,376
♪♪
21
00:01:17,272 --> 00:01:20,927
[ FABRIC CUTTING ]
22
00:01:20,927 --> 00:01:22,538
Woman: I DON'T BELIEVE
23
00:01:22,538 --> 00:01:25,018
THE INDIGENOUS PEOPLE
HAD MICROWAVES.
24
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,498
AND ONE CAN ONLY IMAGINE
25
00:01:26,498 --> 00:01:28,021
THE BLAND FOOD
THEY COOKED IN THESE POTS.
26
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:30,023
HERE WE HAVE
WELL-PRESERVED EXAMPLES
27
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,938
OF GREEK AND ROMAN STATUES.
28
00:01:31,938 --> 00:01:33,549
YOU CAN SEE
THAT THEY ARE A DEPICTION
29
00:01:33,549 --> 00:01:35,377
OF THE IDEAL HUMAN FORM,
30
00:01:35,377 --> 00:01:36,943
EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE,
OF COURSE,
31
00:01:36,943 --> 00:01:40,251
WHICH IS THE FAT,
SLOVENLY CUPID, GOD OF LOVE.
32
00:01:40,251 --> 00:01:42,645
CLEARLY, HE LOVED PIZZA
MOST OF ALL.
33
00:01:42,645 --> 00:01:44,603
[ LAUGHTER ]
34
00:01:44,603 --> 00:01:46,257
NOW, FOLLOW ME OVER HERE
35
00:01:46,257 --> 00:01:49,478
AND TAKE A LOOK
AT THE MUSEUM'S MOST PRIZED...
36
00:01:49,478 --> 00:01:50,479
[ GASPS ]
37
00:01:50,479 --> 00:01:52,524
[ SCREAMING ]
38
00:01:52,524 --> 00:01:55,571
♪♪
39
00:01:55,571 --> 00:02:03,622
[ OFFICER DAVE SCREAMING ]
40
00:02:03,622 --> 00:02:07,844
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]TRIBECA, GEILS!
41
00:02:07,844 --> 00:02:10,499
DOLBY,
KNOCK IT OFF, WILL YOU?
42
00:02:10,499 --> 00:02:11,935
SORRY, LIEUTENANT.
43
00:02:11,935 --> 00:02:13,284
THE OTHER DAY,
YOU REQUESTED MORE HUBBUB.
44
00:02:13,284 --> 00:02:14,981
OKAY, WELL, TAKE IT DOWN
TO A DULL ROAR.
45
00:02:14,981 --> 00:02:15,982
GOT IT.
46
00:02:15,982 --> 00:02:17,332
[ CONVERSATIONS SOFTEN ]
47
00:02:17,332 --> 00:02:18,985
[ POLICE RADIO CHATTER ]
48
00:02:18,985 --> 00:02:20,813
GEILS, TRIBECA.
MY OFFICE!
49
00:02:20,813 --> 00:02:22,163
[ BOTH SCOFF ]
50
00:02:25,122 --> 00:02:26,645
YOU WANTED TO SEE US,
SIR?
51
00:02:26,645 --> 00:02:29,518
YEAH, YOU EVER HEARD
OF CARPACCIO MacGUFFIN?
52
00:02:29,518 --> 00:02:31,607
THE SCOTTISH-ITALIAN MASTER
WHO DISAPPEARED
53
00:02:31,607 --> 00:02:33,739
AFTER PAINTING
HIS MASTERWORK "THUMB"?
54
00:02:33,739 --> 00:02:35,785
YES. OBVIOUSLY.
55
00:02:35,785 --> 00:02:37,439
MacGUFFIN'S "THUMB"
DISAPPEARED
56
00:02:37,439 --> 00:02:39,267
FROM THE OLSEN-MEDAVOY GALLERY
THIS MORNING.
57
00:02:39,267 --> 00:02:40,833
THE O.M.G.?
58
00:02:40,833 --> 00:02:42,531
I THOUGHT IT WAS AT
THE LEWIS-OGILVIE LIBRARY?
59
00:02:42,531 --> 00:02:44,402
THE L.O.L.?!
DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!
60
00:02:44,402 --> 00:02:46,970
THAT BURNED DOWN LAST YEAR,
SO THEY MOVED IT.
61
00:02:46,970 --> 00:02:48,319
WHAT ARE THEY BUILDING
IN ITS PLACE?
62
00:02:48,319 --> 00:02:50,147
ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE
DAMN PARKING GARAGES
63
00:02:50,147 --> 00:02:51,888
FROM
THE WAYNE-TYSON FOUNDATION.
64
00:02:51,888 --> 00:02:54,412
WTF.I KNOW. JUST WHAT WE NEEDED.
65
00:02:54,412 --> 00:02:55,848
BUT YOU HEARD ABOUT TYSON,
RIGHT?
66
00:02:55,848 --> 00:02:59,112
HE CAME DOWN WITH
A TESTICULAR MEMBRANE INFECTION.
67
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:01,027
TMI?FOR REALSIES.
68
00:03:01,027 --> 00:03:02,420
THIS IS
YOUR DIVORCE AGREEMENT.
69
00:03:02,420 --> 00:03:04,727
B-T-DUBS,
YOU GOT ROBBED.
70
00:03:04,727 --> 00:03:08,426
I KNOW. FML.
71
00:03:08,426 --> 00:03:10,602
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
72
00:03:10,602 --> 00:03:14,650
♪♪
73
00:03:17,653 --> 00:03:19,655
[ RETCHES ]
74
00:03:19,655 --> 00:03:21,091
IT'S OKAY, KID.
75
00:03:21,091 --> 00:03:22,919
YOU WOULDN'T BE HUMAN
IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE
76
00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:26,096
SOME TYPE OF REACTION
TO A MISSING PAINTING.
77
00:03:26,096 --> 00:03:27,619
[ BARKING ]
78
00:03:29,752 --> 00:03:30,927
SCHOLLS,
WHAT DO WE GOT HERE?
79
00:03:30,927 --> 00:03:32,755
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
DETECTIVE.
80
00:03:32,755 --> 00:03:34,757
WATCH OUT
FOR THE VELVET ROPES.
81
00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:36,149
WHAT DO WE GOT?
82
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:37,890
WHOEVER DID THIS
KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING.
83
00:03:37,890 --> 00:03:40,284
HE GOT PAST THE ROPES
NO PROBLEM.WHAT ABOUT THE SIGN?
84
00:03:40,284 --> 00:03:42,025
HE WAS VERY CLEVER HERE.
85
00:03:42,025 --> 00:03:43,331
LOOK HOW HE ALTERED
THE MEANING OF THE SIGN
86
00:03:43,331 --> 00:03:44,984
BY SPRAY-PAINTING OVER
THE WORD "NOT."
87
00:03:44,984 --> 00:03:48,205
"DO TOUCH."
MAN, THAT'S DIABOLICAL.
88
00:03:48,205 --> 00:03:50,555
WE'RE TAKING
AS MANY PRINTS AS POSSIBLE.
89
00:03:50,555 --> 00:03:52,122
WE'LL LET YOU KNOW
WHAT WE COME UP WITH.
90
00:03:52,122 --> 00:03:54,864
WHAT'S GOING ON
WITH THIS PEDESTAL HERE?
91
00:03:54,864 --> 00:03:56,605
Scholls: OH, THERE WAS
A CUPID STATUE THERE,
92
00:03:56,605 --> 00:03:58,389
BUT IT WAS JUST
A TEMPORARY EXHIBIT
93
00:03:58,389 --> 00:04:00,043
ON LOAN FROM
AN ANTIQUITIES DEALER --
94
00:04:00,043 --> 00:04:02,828
A DR. ZAIUS.
95
00:04:02,828 --> 00:04:04,047
WE'RE ON IT.
96
00:04:04,047 --> 00:04:06,005
WELL, TRIBECA,
TIME FOR A CHECK-UP.
97
00:04:06,005 --> 00:04:07,572
IF THE DOCTOR IS IN.
98
00:04:07,572 --> 00:04:10,575
I SURE HOPE SO.
I HAVE A SCROTAL HERNIA.
99
00:04:10,575 --> 00:04:12,969
WHAT?
100
00:04:12,969 --> 00:04:17,669
♪♪
101
00:04:26,504 --> 00:04:28,245
[ BELL JINGLES ]
102
00:04:28,245 --> 00:04:29,768
I JUST LOVE OLD STUFF --
103
00:04:29,768 --> 00:04:33,381
EVERYTHING ABOUT IT --
THE SMELL, THE FEEL.
104
00:04:33,381 --> 00:04:35,861
L.A.P.D.
ARE YOU DR. ZAIUS?
105
00:04:35,861 --> 00:04:37,950
OH, NO.
DR. ZAIUS IS MY BROTHER.
106
00:04:37,950 --> 00:04:42,128
I'M JUST MR. ZAIUS.
YOU GUYS CAN CALL ME RANDY.
107
00:04:42,128 --> 00:04:44,000
QUITE A SHINER
YOU GOT THERE, RANDY.
108
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,436
OH, THANK YOU.
109
00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:47,525
I CALL IT A MOP.
110
00:04:47,525 --> 00:04:48,700
IS YOUR BROTHER AROUND?
111
00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:50,963
OH, YEAH. SORRY.
112
00:04:50,963 --> 00:04:53,792
RANDY?
WHAT KIND OF NAME IS RANDY?
113
00:04:53,792 --> 00:04:55,446
IT'S WELSH, ACTUALLY.
114
00:04:55,446 --> 00:04:57,100
GOOD AFTERNOON.
I'M DR. ZAIUS.
115
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:58,667
HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
116
00:04:58,667 --> 00:05:00,582
WOW, YOU REALLY DO LOOK
A LOT LIKE YOUR BROTHER.
117
00:05:00,582 --> 00:05:02,932
REALLY? I DON'T SEE IT.
PLEASE COME IN.
118
00:05:02,932 --> 00:05:05,761
♪♪
119
00:05:13,986 --> 00:05:15,379
WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME COFFEE?
120
00:05:15,379 --> 00:05:16,859
YES, PLEASE.
121
00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:18,991
I'M DETECTIVE TRIBECA,
THIS IS DETECTIVE GEILS,
122
00:05:18,991 --> 00:05:20,384
AND WE'RE HERE TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
123
00:05:20,384 --> 00:05:21,994
AT THE OLSEN-MEDAVOY
GALLERY.
124
00:05:21,994 --> 00:05:24,214
[ BOTH SLURP ]
125
00:05:24,214 --> 00:05:25,433
OHH!
AAH!
126
00:05:25,433 --> 00:05:27,260
OH, MY GOD,
THAT'S TERRIBLE.
127
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:29,480
AND REALLY COLD.I'M NOT SURPRISED.
128
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,961
THIS COFFEE WAS BREWED
BY NAPOLEON BONAPARTE
129
00:05:31,961 --> 00:05:33,876
JUST BEFORE
THE BATTLE OF WATERLOO.
130
00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:35,486
[ BLOWS ]
131
00:05:35,486 --> 00:05:37,532
WOULD YOU CARE
FOR SOME MACAROONS
132
00:05:37,532 --> 00:05:39,490
FROM THE AGE
OF ENLIGHTENMENT?
133
00:05:39,490 --> 00:05:41,666
HOW ABOUT A POTATO CHIP
FROM THE KENNEDY ADMINISTRATION?
134
00:05:42,363 --> 00:05:44,756
OKAY.
WERE YOU AWARE
THAT MacGUFFIN'S "THUMB"
135
00:05:44,756 --> 00:05:47,019
WAS STOLEN FROM THE O.M.G.
THIS MORNING?
136
00:05:47,019 --> 00:05:50,501
HOW AWFUL.
THAT'S SUCH A SEMINAL PIECE.
137
00:05:50,501 --> 00:05:51,937
[ CHUCKLES ]
138
00:05:51,937 --> 00:05:53,243
THAT'S NOT
WHAT IT MEANS.
139
00:05:53,243 --> 00:05:55,027
APPARENTLY,
140
00:05:55,027 --> 00:05:58,161
ONE OF YOUR STATUES WAS ON LOAN
TO THE MUSEUM FROM...
141
00:05:58,161 --> 00:06:00,381
YESTERDAY TO TODAY.
142
00:06:00,381 --> 00:06:03,209
I'M ALWAYS HAPPY TO SHARE
MY ANTIQUITIES WITH THE WORLD.
143
00:06:03,209 --> 00:06:05,081
THEY REALLY BELONG
TO ALL OF US.
144
00:06:05,081 --> 00:06:07,170
CAN WE SEE IT?NO. IT'S MINE.
145
00:06:07,170 --> 00:06:09,564
THE PAINTING WAS THERE.
THE STATUE ARRIVES.
146
00:06:09,564 --> 00:06:12,436
THE PAINTING DISAPPEARS.
THE STATUE DISAPPEARS.
147
00:06:12,436 --> 00:06:13,829
IF YOU SAY SO.
148
00:06:13,829 --> 00:06:15,439
FRANKLY, THE COMINGS AND GOINGS
OF THE PIECES
149
00:06:15,439 --> 00:06:18,050
IS RANDY'S RESPONSIBILITY,
AND HE'S A FIRST-CLASS IDIOT,
150
00:06:18,050 --> 00:06:19,878
A REAL DUMB-DUMB
DOUBLE ZERO.
151
00:06:19,878 --> 00:06:21,880
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
THE CAKE FROM
152
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,535
THEODORE ROOSEVELT'S
35th BIRTHDAY JUST ARRIVED,
153
00:06:24,535 --> 00:06:26,058
AND IT'S IN
TERRIBLE CONDITION.
154
00:06:26,058 --> 00:06:27,190
SIT DOWN, ZAIUS!
155
00:06:27,190 --> 00:06:29,453
YOU'RE TRYING TO TELL ME
156
00:06:29,453 --> 00:06:31,063
THAT THAT TIMELINE
IS COINCIDENTAL?
157
00:06:31,063 --> 00:06:32,413
HOW DARE
YOU COME IN HERE
158
00:06:32,413 --> 00:06:35,067
WITH YOUR CHEAP SUIT
AND YOUR LOUSY HAIRCUT.
159
00:06:35,067 --> 00:06:36,591
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT,
LADIES PRISON?
160
00:06:36,591 --> 00:06:38,593
SALON TRAINING STUDIO.
161
00:06:38,593 --> 00:06:40,159
HOW ABOUT THIS?
162
00:06:40,159 --> 00:06:42,597
I'LL MAKE SOME INQUIRIES
IN THE ART WORLD, ASK AROUND.
163
00:06:42,597 --> 00:06:44,947
IF I FIND ANYTHING OUT,
I'LL CALL YOU.
164
00:06:46,035 --> 00:06:47,166
WHAT'S THE NUMBER?
165
00:06:47,166 --> 00:06:49,212
IT'S 3--OH, HOLD ON.
166
00:06:49,212 --> 00:06:51,214
INK DRIED UP.
167
00:06:51,214 --> 00:06:52,476
GO AHEAD.
168
00:06:52,476 --> 00:06:54,609
IT'S 3--OH, DRIED UP AGAIN.
169
00:06:54,609 --> 00:06:56,785
[ CHUCKLES ]
GO AHEAD.
170
00:06:56,785 --> 00:06:57,873
IT'S 3--OOPS.
171
00:06:57,873 --> 00:07:00,092
DRIED UP. SORRY.
[ CHUCKLES ]
172
00:07:00,092 --> 00:07:01,572
ONE MORE TIME.
GO AHEAD.
173
00:07:01,572 --> 00:07:03,705
IT'S 3--NO, IT DRIED UP. SORRY.
174
00:07:05,054 --> 00:07:06,708
GO AHEAD.
IT'S 3--
175
00:07:06,708 --> 00:07:08,536
AH, SHOOT. DRIED UP.
176
00:07:09,624 --> 00:07:12,148
IT'S 3--NO, IT DRIED UP AGAIN.
177
00:07:12,148 --> 00:07:14,672
SO SORRY.
ONE MORE TIME. GO.
178
00:07:14,672 --> 00:07:16,848
IT'S 3--ALL RIGHT, DON'T SAY "IT'S."
179
00:07:16,848 --> 00:07:19,285
THAT'S WHAT'S TAKING THE TIME --
THE WORD "IT'S."
180
00:07:19,285 --> 00:07:21,374
YOU SAY IT,
IT DRIES UP, OKAY?
181
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:22,375
GO.
182
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:24,508
3--TOO LATE.
183
00:07:26,118 --> 00:07:27,990
TELL YOU WHAT --
I HAVE A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY.
184
00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:30,296
YOU SAY IT, AND I'LL --
I'LL JUST REMEMBER IT.
185
00:07:30,296 --> 00:07:31,297
GO AHEAD.OKAY, 333...
186
00:07:31,297 --> 00:07:33,430
MM-HMM....2333.
187
00:07:33,430 --> 00:07:34,953
OKAY,
START ANY TIME YOU WANT.
188
00:07:34,953 --> 00:07:36,999
♪♪
189
00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:41,133
[ SIGHS ] I FEEL LIKE DR. ZAIUS
IS GIVING US THE RUNAROUND.
190
00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:43,919
YOU THINK HE HAS SOMETHING TO DO
WITH THE STOLEN PAINTING?I DON'T KNOW.
191
00:07:43,919 --> 00:07:45,529
I THINK THIS ONE
WE JUST LEAVE UNSOLVED.
192
00:07:45,529 --> 00:07:46,530
LEAVE UNSOLVED?
193
00:07:46,530 --> 00:07:48,227
I'VE LITERALLY NEVER HEARD
194
00:07:48,227 --> 00:07:49,620
EITHER OF THOSE WORDS
COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH,
195
00:07:49,620 --> 00:07:51,100
AND I'VE KNOWN YOU
FOR THREE WEEKS.
196
00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:52,493
IT'S JUST A DUMB,
OLD PAINTING.
197
00:07:52,493 --> 00:07:53,929
WHO CARES?
"WHO CARES"?
198
00:07:53,929 --> 00:07:55,583
I'VE LITERALLY
NEVER HEARD
199
00:07:55,583 --> 00:07:56,845
EITHER OF THOSE WORDS
COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH,
200
00:07:56,845 --> 00:07:58,455
AND I'VE KNOWN YOU
FOR THREE WEEKS.
201
00:07:58,455 --> 00:08:00,239
IS THERE SOMETHING GOING ON HERE
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT?
202
00:08:00,239 --> 00:08:02,459
LET'S JUST DROP IT,
OKAY?
203
00:08:02,459 --> 00:08:04,896
I'LL TELL YOU WHEN YOU
REALLY PUSH ME ON IT LATER.FINE.
204
00:08:04,896 --> 00:08:07,072
IF DR. ZAIUS HASN'T GIVEN US
ENOUGH INFORMATION
205
00:08:07,072 --> 00:08:08,900
TO MAKE HIM
A PRIME SUSPECT,
206
00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:11,381
MAYBE HIS BROTHER, RANDY,
CAN CHIME IN.
207
00:08:11,381 --> 00:08:12,991
ARE YOU IN OR OUT?
208
00:08:12,991 --> 00:08:15,820
[ SIGHS ]
LET'S ROLL.
209
00:08:21,304 --> 00:08:24,568
[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ]
210
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:26,788
OH.
211
00:08:26,788 --> 00:08:28,093
YEAH?
212
00:08:28,093 --> 00:08:30,095
RANDY ZAIUS?
L.A.P.D.
213
00:08:30,095 --> 00:08:31,749
DO YOU REMEMBER US
FROM THIS AFTERNOON?
214
00:08:31,749 --> 00:08:33,577
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
I REMEMBER YOU GUYS.
215
00:08:33,577 --> 00:08:34,622
COME ON IN.
216
00:08:34,622 --> 00:08:36,928
♪♪
217
00:08:39,757 --> 00:08:42,064
NICE PLACE.
218
00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:45,197
THANKS. IT'S CHEAP,
BUT IT'S INEXPENSIVE.
219
00:08:45,197 --> 00:08:47,896
NO ONE GETS INTO THE
ANTIQUITIES GAME FOR THE MONEY.
220
00:08:47,896 --> 00:08:49,680
IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU MENTION THAT
BECAUSE I NOTICED
221
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:53,075
THAT YOUR BROTHER, DR. ZAIUS,
WAS WEARING A $1,500 SUIT TODAY.
222
00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:54,642
WE TOOK A LOOK
AT HIS TAX RECORDS,
223
00:08:54,642 --> 00:08:57,688
AND IT TURNS OUT HE OWNS
A BOATHOUSE, A HOUSE BOAT,
224
00:08:57,688 --> 00:09:00,169
A POOL HOUSE
AND A HOUSE POOL.
225
00:09:00,169 --> 00:09:03,085
OH, I WOULDN'T KNOW.
I'VE NEVER BEEN TO HIS HOUSE.
226
00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:05,000
HMM.
DID YOU PAINT THAT?
227
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,306
YEAH.
IT'S NOT VERY GOOD, I KNOW.
228
00:09:07,306 --> 00:09:09,308
BUT I'M --
I'M JUST STARTING.
229
00:09:09,308 --> 00:09:10,919
A KANGAROO
WITH A LIGHT SWITCH FOR A HEAD.
230
00:09:10,919 --> 00:09:12,834
WHAT DO YOU CALL IT --
A KANGER-SWITCH?
231
00:09:12,834 --> 00:09:14,226
ACTUALLY,
IT'S A SWITCHEROO.
232
00:09:14,226 --> 00:09:16,011
CLEVER.
I'D LIKE TO BUY IT.
233
00:09:16,011 --> 00:09:17,665
OH, YOU DON'T WANT THAT.
IT'S A TERRIBLE PAINTING.
234
00:09:17,665 --> 00:09:19,014
YOU CAN GET
SOMETHING BETTER THAN THAT.
235
00:09:19,014 --> 00:09:20,537
THAT ONE'S GARBAGE.
236
00:09:20,537 --> 00:09:22,234
DID DR. ZAIUS GIVE YOU
THAT BLACK EYE, RANDY?
237
00:09:22,234 --> 00:09:24,541
YEAH, BUT WE LIKE TO PUNCH
EACH OTHER IN THE EYE.
238
00:09:24,541 --> 00:09:26,021
I MEAN,
I PUNCHED HIM YESTERDAY,
239
00:09:26,021 --> 00:09:27,326
SO IT WAS KIND OF
HIS TURN.
240
00:09:27,326 --> 00:09:29,024
IT'S A GAME.
WE CALL IT "PUNCH PUNCH."
241
00:09:29,024 --> 00:09:30,547
YOUR BROTHER DOESN'T TREAT YOU
VERY WELL, DOES HE?
242
00:09:30,547 --> 00:09:32,462
DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT DR. ZAIUS
243
00:09:32,462 --> 00:09:33,811
AND THE THEFT
OF MacGUFFIN'S "THUMB"?
244
00:09:36,422 --> 00:09:39,643
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I HAVE TO, UH...
245
00:09:39,643 --> 00:09:41,776
I HAVE TO USE
THE RESTROOM.
246
00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:45,780
Let's spread out.
247
00:09:45,780 --> 00:09:48,478
♪♪
248
00:09:48,478 --> 00:09:50,915
[ ZIPPER OPENS ]
249
00:09:50,915 --> 00:09:52,917
[ URINATING ]
250
00:10:06,104 --> 00:10:07,279
TRIBECA,
GET OVER HERE.
251
00:10:07,279 --> 00:10:08,672
ON MY WAY.
252
00:10:08,672 --> 00:10:11,109
WHAT'S UP?
253
00:10:13,111 --> 00:10:14,504
MacGUFFIN'S "THUMB."
254
00:10:14,504 --> 00:10:16,158
[ TOILET FLUSHES ]
255
00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:18,247
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, UH,
256
00:10:18,247 --> 00:10:19,988
ALL MY ROOMMATES ARE ABOUT
TO SHOW UP, SO I --
257
00:10:19,988 --> 00:10:21,816
YOU SON OF A BITCH!AAH!
258
00:10:21,816 --> 00:10:23,295
WHOA!
259
00:10:23,295 --> 00:10:24,688
YOU'RE UNDER ARREST
FOR GRAND THEFT ART-O.
260
00:10:24,688 --> 00:10:26,081
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
261
00:10:26,081 --> 00:10:27,125
GIVE ME A REASON!
262
00:10:27,125 --> 00:10:28,910
[ GRUNTS ]I DARE YOU.
263
00:10:28,910 --> 00:10:30,302
AAH!HE JUST TOOK A PAINTING.
IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL.
264
00:10:30,302 --> 00:10:32,522
DON'T TELL ME
HOW TO DO MY JOB!
265
00:10:32,522 --> 00:10:33,741
OHH!GIVE ME A REASON!
266
00:10:33,741 --> 00:10:35,133
[ BONES CRACK ]I DARE YOU!
267
00:10:35,133 --> 00:10:36,265
OHH! AAH!
268
00:10:43,228 --> 00:10:46,579
THINGS GOT A LITTLE HEATED
BACK THERE, HUH?
269
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:48,233
I DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT IT.
270
00:10:48,233 --> 00:10:51,019
YOU GOT TO TELL ME WHAT'S
GOING ON WITH YOU AND THIS CASE.
271
00:10:51,019 --> 00:10:52,847
YOU KNOW WE NEVER SOLVE IT
TILL YOU DO.
272
00:10:54,805 --> 00:10:56,851
[ SIGHS ]
273
00:10:56,851 --> 00:11:00,681
I WAS A YOUNG ART STUDENT
LIVING IN PARIS.
274
00:11:00,681 --> 00:11:02,900
I WAS LIVING
IN THE FRENCH QUARTER.[ PARISIAN MUSIC PLAYS ]
275
00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:04,946
I WAS JUST GETTING OUT
OF A RELATIONSHIP.
276
00:11:13,302 --> 00:11:15,696
THAT WAS THE WORST FIRST DATE
I EVER HAD.
277
00:11:17,567 --> 00:11:19,787
I NEEDED SOMEONE WHO WANTED
THE THINGS THAT I WANTED.
278
00:11:21,484 --> 00:11:25,880
AND THAT WAS
CARPACCIO MacGUFFIN.
279
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:30,711
IT WAS EXCITING,
EXHILARATING.
280
00:11:32,321 --> 00:11:36,542
WE DID THINGS
I NEVER DREAMED OF.
281
00:11:36,542 --> 00:11:42,331
HE WAS LOVING,
CONSIDERATE, THOUGHTFUL...
282
00:11:42,331 --> 00:11:44,594
SENSUOUS.
283
00:11:45,987 --> 00:11:48,598
I KNEW I HAD TO GET OUT
OF THERE.
284
00:11:51,732 --> 00:11:55,039
I LOVED HIM,
BUT I KNEW I COULDN'T STAY
285
00:11:55,039 --> 00:11:58,782
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I DO --
I LEAVE.
286
00:12:17,322 --> 00:12:20,064
SO THAT WAS THE INSPIRATION
FOR "THE THUMB."
287
00:12:20,064 --> 00:12:21,892
AMAZING.
288
00:12:21,892 --> 00:12:23,720
YOU THINK MAYBE YOU LEAVE PEOPLE
BEFORE THEY LEAVE YOU?
289
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,548
[ Mockingly ] YOU THINK
MAYBE YOU LEAVE PEOPLE
290
00:12:25,548 --> 00:12:26,854
BEFORE THEY LEAVE YOU?
291
00:12:26,854 --> 00:12:28,507
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
FORGET IT.
292
00:12:28,507 --> 00:12:30,074
LET'S JUST
PUT RANDY AWAY.
293
00:12:30,074 --> 00:12:31,249
IT'S UP HERE
ON THE RIGHT,
294
00:12:31,249 --> 00:12:32,642
WHERE IT SAYS
"POLICE PRECINCT."
295
00:12:32,642 --> 00:12:34,731
OKAY, I GOT IT.
296
00:12:37,865 --> 00:12:38,996
TURN TO THE RIGHT.
297
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:41,694
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
298
00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:43,479
TURN TO THE LEFT.
299
00:12:45,089 --> 00:12:46,612
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
300
00:12:46,612 --> 00:12:49,050
ALL RIGHT. LET'S BRING IN
THE WHOLE FAMILY.
301
00:12:49,050 --> 00:12:50,616
COME ON IN.
COME ON IN, BETTS.
302
00:12:50,616 --> 00:12:53,271
OKAY, Y'ALL READY?
AT THE COUNT OF THREE, "CHEESE."
303
00:12:53,271 --> 00:12:55,796
ONE, TWO, THREE! "CHEESE!"[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
304
00:12:55,796 --> 00:12:58,189
YOU WANTED TO SEE US,
DOCTOR?
305
00:12:58,189 --> 00:13:01,018
AH, GOOD EVENING,
DETECTIVES!
306
00:13:01,018 --> 00:13:02,411
I TOOK A LOOK
AT THAT PAINTING YOU RECOVERED
307
00:13:02,411 --> 00:13:04,239
FROM RANDY ZAIUS'
APARTMENT.
308
00:13:04,239 --> 00:13:05,936
A GENUINE MacGUFFIN,
EH?
309
00:13:05,936 --> 00:13:06,981
[ LAUGHING ]
310
00:13:12,987 --> 00:13:14,858
WE DON'T KNOW
WHY YOU'RE LAUGHING, SIR.
311
00:13:14,858 --> 00:13:16,686
NO. OF COURSE.
HOW COULD YOU?
312
00:13:16,686 --> 00:13:19,254
YOU'RE NOT INSIDE MY HEAD.
NOW, LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
313
00:13:19,254 --> 00:13:22,213
NOW, HERE WE HAVE
LEONARDO DA VINCI'S "MONA LISA,"
314
00:13:22,213 --> 00:13:25,173
WHICH WE HAD FedExed IN
FROM THE LOUVRE MUSEUM IN PARIS.
315
00:13:25,173 --> 00:13:28,829
AND HERE...
[ GRUNTS ]
316
00:13:28,829 --> 00:13:33,659
HERE WE HAVE A CHEAP FORGERY ON
LOAN FROM A CHEAP FORGERY STORE.
317
00:13:33,659 --> 00:13:35,487
OR IS IT?
318
00:13:35,487 --> 00:13:37,620
COULD THIS BE
THE REAL "MONA LISA"
319
00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:39,535
AND COULD THIS BE
THE FORGERY?
320
00:13:39,535 --> 00:13:41,537
REAL, FORGE.
FORGE, REAL.
321
00:13:41,537 --> 00:13:43,365
FOLLOW THE BOUNCING BALL.
WHICH IS IT?
322
00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:46,585
I CAN TELL THEM APART.OH, REALLY, DETECTIVE?
323
00:13:46,585 --> 00:13:48,587
THEN WHY DON'T YOU PULL OUT
YOUR BIG GUN
324
00:13:48,587 --> 00:13:50,328
AND SHOOT THE FORGERY?
325
00:13:50,328 --> 00:13:52,461
GREAT.
326
00:13:54,289 --> 00:13:55,551
WRONG, DETECTIVE.
327
00:13:55,551 --> 00:13:57,553
YOU'VE JUST SHOT
THE REAL "MONA LISA"
328
00:13:57,553 --> 00:13:59,903
AND THE LAB TECHNICIAN
STANDING BEHIND IT.
329
00:13:59,903 --> 00:14:01,513
[ GRUNTS ]
330
00:14:01,513 --> 00:14:03,689
YOU TRICKED ME.
I'M NOT PAYING FOR THAT.
331
00:14:03,689 --> 00:14:05,343
THEY'RE BOTH FORGERIES.
332
00:14:05,343 --> 00:14:08,303
EXACTLY, TRIBECA.
THEY ARE BOTH FORGERIES.
333
00:14:08,303 --> 00:14:11,436
LOOK AT THE CHEAP CANVAS,
THE AMATEUR BRUSHSTROKES,
334
00:14:11,436 --> 00:14:13,656
THE LACK OF CONTRAST
BETWEEN LIGHT AND DARK,
335
00:14:13,656 --> 00:14:15,876
THE STICKERS
THAT SAY "75 CENTS."
336
00:14:15,876 --> 00:14:18,530
AH. [ CHUCKLES ]
[ CLAPS ]
337
00:14:18,530 --> 00:14:21,011
AT LAST, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS
SOMETHING ABOUT ART.
338
00:14:21,011 --> 00:14:22,447
WHAT'S THE POINT
OF ALL THIS, DOCTOR?
339
00:14:22,447 --> 00:14:23,579
THE POINT?
340
00:14:23,579 --> 00:14:25,059
THE POINT?
341
00:14:25,059 --> 00:14:26,712
OOH, I LOVE
AN INQUIRING MIND.
342
00:14:26,712 --> 00:14:28,497
LET'S HAVE ANOTHER LOOK
AT YOUR SO-CALLED MacGUFFIN,
343
00:14:28,497 --> 00:14:30,194
SHALL WE?
344
00:14:32,196 --> 00:14:34,677
OH, MY GOD.
345
00:14:34,677 --> 00:14:36,157
HOW DID I MISS THIS?
346
00:14:36,157 --> 00:14:39,638
YEAH, HOW DID YOU MISS THIS?
IT'S SO OBVIOUS.
347
00:14:39,638 --> 00:14:41,162
WHY IS IT OBVIOUS?
348
00:14:41,162 --> 00:14:42,946
IT'S OBVIOUS
THAT IT'S A FORGERY,
349
00:14:42,946 --> 00:14:44,426
ALTHOUGH
A BRILLIANT ONE.
350
00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:46,123
THE CANVAS IS AUTHENTIC
TO THE PERIOD.
351
00:14:46,123 --> 00:14:47,429
THE BRUSHSTROKES
ARE EXACT.
352
00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:49,257
IT'S ABSOLUTELY
INDISTINGUISHABLE
353
00:14:49,257 --> 00:14:50,388
FROM THE ORIGINAL.
354
00:14:50,388 --> 00:14:52,042
EXCEPT FOR THE FACT
355
00:14:52,042 --> 00:14:53,870
THAT MacGUFFIN WAS CRYING
WHEN HE PAINTED "THE THUMB,"
356
00:14:53,870 --> 00:14:56,960
AND THE TEARS DILUTED THE PAINT
IN THE BOTTOM-RIGHT CORNER.
357
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,571
EXACTLY.
AS YOU CAN SEE, NO TEARS.
358
00:14:59,571 --> 00:15:02,966
SO RANDY FORGED "THE THUMB,"
BUT WHY?
359
00:15:02,966 --> 00:15:05,577
♪♪
360
00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:14,456
♪♪
361
00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:17,154
[ CHUCKLES ]
362
00:15:17,154 --> 00:15:19,417
HOW'S JAIL TREATING YOU,
RANDY?
363
00:15:19,417 --> 00:15:22,159
YOU LITERALLY BROUGHT ME
IN HERE FIVE MINUTES AGO.
364
00:15:22,159 --> 00:15:24,945
YEAH, TIME GOES SLOW
IN THE JOINT, DOESN'T IT?
365
00:15:24,945 --> 00:15:26,685
[ CHUCKLES ]
366
00:15:26,685 --> 00:15:29,862
THE PAINTING WE GOT FROM
YOUR APARTMENT IS A FORGERY,
367
00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:33,736
WHICH BEGS THE QUESTION --
WHERE'S THE ORIGINAL?
368
00:15:33,736 --> 00:15:36,739
LOOK, I'LL TELL YOU
EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW.
369
00:15:36,739 --> 00:15:39,176
BUT FIRST,
I WANT IMMUNITY.
370
00:15:39,176 --> 00:15:42,266
IMMUNITY?
THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, HUH?
371
00:15:42,266 --> 00:15:45,835
[ LAUGHING ]
372
00:15:45,835 --> 00:15:49,230
YOU ALLERGIC TO EGGS?UH, NO.
373
00:15:49,230 --> 00:15:50,448
OKAY.
GO AHEAD.
374
00:15:50,448 --> 00:15:53,060
OW.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
375
00:15:53,060 --> 00:15:54,539
THAT WASN'T SO BAD.
376
00:15:54,539 --> 00:15:57,151
NOW, WHERE'S "THE THUMB" AT?MY BROTHER HAS IT.
377
00:15:57,151 --> 00:15:59,370
HE STEALS THE ART,
AND THEN I FORGE IT.
378
00:15:59,370 --> 00:16:01,329
HE RETURNS THE FORGERIES BACK
TO THE ART GALLERY,
379
00:16:01,329 --> 00:16:03,635
AND THE POLICE DROP
THE WHOLE THING.
380
00:16:03,635 --> 00:16:05,942
HE ENDS UP WITH
A MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR
ART COLLECTION.
381
00:16:05,942 --> 00:16:07,813
WHY ROLL ON HIM NOW?
382
00:16:07,813 --> 00:16:10,991
[ Voice breaking ]
BECAUSE HE'S A TOTAL...
383
00:16:10,991 --> 00:16:12,731
DICK!
[ CRIES ]
384
00:16:12,731 --> 00:16:14,951
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DEAL
WITH HIM NO MORE,
385
00:16:14,951 --> 00:16:18,389
'CAUSE WE ARE ABOUT TO
TAKE DR. ZAIUS DOWN.
386
00:16:18,389 --> 00:16:20,043
[ GASPS ]
387
00:16:20,043 --> 00:16:21,827
NOW, YOU'RE FREE TO GO.
388
00:16:21,827 --> 00:16:24,961
[ GRUNTS ]
CAN SOMEONE UN-CUFF ME?
389
00:16:24,961 --> 00:16:26,615
YOU'RE NOT CUFFED.
390
00:16:28,573 --> 00:16:31,576
OH. GREAT. THANKS.
391
00:16:31,576 --> 00:16:33,187
YOU CAN VALIDATE YOUR PARKING
ON THE WAY OUT.
392
00:16:33,187 --> 00:16:36,190
THANKS, MAN.YEAH. NO PROBLEM.
393
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,934
DON'T MOVE, DR. ZAIUS![ THUD ]
394
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:44,198
YOU IDIOT!
DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!
395
00:16:44,198 --> 00:16:46,243
THAT WAS
A PRICELESS MORAVIAN VASE.
396
00:16:46,243 --> 00:16:48,245
IT WILL TAKE YOU
A LIFETIME TO PAY --
397
00:16:48,245 --> 00:16:50,900
IT SEEMS TO BE FINE.
HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
398
00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:53,163
YOU'RE UNDER ARREST
FOR STEALING MacGUFFIN'S "THUMB"
399
00:16:53,163 --> 00:16:54,773
FROM THE OLSEN-MEDAVOY
GALLERY.
400
00:16:54,773 --> 00:16:56,166
YOUR BROTHER
RATTED YOU OUT.
401
00:16:56,166 --> 00:16:58,516
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
I HAVEN'T STOLEN ANYTHING.
402
00:16:58,516 --> 00:17:01,563
THEN HOW
DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS?
403
00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:03,565
I HAVE NO IDEA
HOW THAT GOT THERE.
404
00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:05,219
I'M BEING FRAMED!
405
00:17:05,219 --> 00:17:07,177
OFFICER, TAKE HIM AWAY.
406
00:17:07,177 --> 00:17:10,659
♪♪
407
00:17:10,659 --> 00:17:12,269
WE DID IT.
408
00:17:12,269 --> 00:17:14,663
NOW LET'S GET THIS THING
BACK TO A MUSEUM,
409
00:17:14,663 --> 00:17:16,360
WHERE IT BELONGS.
410
00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:18,145
EVERYONE FREEZE!
411
00:17:19,015 --> 00:17:20,843
YOU'RE OUT.
GO SIT DOWN.
412
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:25,413
UN-FREEZE.
413
00:17:25,413 --> 00:17:28,764
NO TEARS.
THIS ONE'S A FORGERY, TOO.
414
00:17:28,764 --> 00:17:30,374
DAMN IT.
415
00:17:30,374 --> 00:17:32,550
BUT RANDY SAID
THAT ZAIUS HAD THE ORIGINAL.
416
00:17:32,550 --> 00:17:34,552
WHAT, DID HE PULL
SOME KIND OF SWITCHEROO?
417
00:17:34,552 --> 00:17:36,554
[ BOTH GASP ]
418
00:17:36,554 --> 00:17:39,601
SWITCHEROO!
SWITCHEROO!
419
00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:41,864
♪♪
420
00:17:41,864 --> 00:17:46,260
RANDY ZAIUS, L.A.P.D.!
OPEN THE DOOR!
421
00:17:46,260 --> 00:17:47,261
TAKE IT DOWN.
422
00:17:50,177 --> 00:17:53,615
GO! GO! GO!
423
00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:55,791
Man: GO! GO!Man #2: KEEP IT MOVING!
LET'S GO!
424
00:17:57,401 --> 00:17:59,882
COME ON! LET'S GO!
GO, GO, GO!
425
00:18:13,852 --> 00:18:15,289
[ STATIC ]
426
00:18:15,289 --> 00:18:17,291
IT'S TANNER.
HE ISN'T HERE.
427
00:18:17,291 --> 00:18:19,031
[ RANDY SNEEZES ]
428
00:18:19,945 --> 00:18:21,817
[ SCREAMS ]
429
00:18:21,817 --> 00:18:24,211
GET HIM![ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
430
00:18:24,211 --> 00:18:26,300
[ PUNCHES LANDING ]
431
00:18:33,742 --> 00:18:35,961
YOU KNOW, MY FIRST APARTMENT
OUT OF THE ACADEMY
432
00:18:35,961 --> 00:18:37,876
WAS WAY SMALLER
THAN THIS ONE.
433
00:18:37,876 --> 00:18:39,269
YOU DON'T SAY?
434
00:18:39,269 --> 00:18:42,098
10 GUYS CRAMMED
INTO A 24-STORY WALK-UP.
435
00:18:42,098 --> 00:18:44,231
AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE BIGGEST
PAIN IN THE BUTT WAS?
436
00:18:44,231 --> 00:18:45,580
[ SCREAMING ]
437
00:18:45,580 --> 00:18:48,452
OHH!
438
00:18:48,452 --> 00:18:50,846
OPENING THE DAMN FRIDGE.
439
00:18:50,846 --> 00:18:52,239
♪♪
440
00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:06,775
IT'S TANNER.
"THUMB'S" UP.
441
00:19:08,211 --> 00:19:09,647
ALL RIGHT.
442
00:19:09,647 --> 00:19:11,736
LOOKS LIKE "THE THUMB'S"
BACK UP AT THE GALLERY.
443
00:19:11,736 --> 00:19:13,390
ALL RIGHT.
444
00:19:13,390 --> 00:19:15,087
I GOT TO SAY YOU WERE
PRETTY TERRIFIC BACK THERE.
445
00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:16,567
YOU WEREN'T BAD YOURSELF.
446
00:19:16,567 --> 00:19:18,439
I FEEL LIKE
WE'RE REALLY FINDING OUR GROOVE.
447
00:19:18,439 --> 00:19:19,440
MM-HMM.
448
00:19:20,397 --> 00:19:21,920
MY MOM WAS RIGHT.
449
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,314
WHEN YOU MEET THE RIGHT PARTNER,
YOU JUST KNOW.
450
00:19:24,314 --> 00:19:26,316
MM-HMM.IN FACT, YOU SHOULD MEET MY MOM.
451
00:19:26,316 --> 00:19:28,666
I'VE ALREADY TOLD HER
SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.
HMM.
452
00:19:28,666 --> 00:19:30,625
IS IT WEIRD WE DON'T HAVE
MORE PICTURES TOGETHER?
453
00:19:30,625 --> 00:19:31,974
I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
454
00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:36,065
I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU RUN AWAY
FROM A GOOD THING THIS TIME,
455
00:19:36,065 --> 00:19:37,588
AGENT TRIBECA.
456
00:19:37,588 --> 00:19:39,590
[ SIGHS ]
457
00:19:41,201 --> 00:19:42,637
I GOT TO GO TAKE A POOP.
458
00:19:42,637 --> 00:19:47,424
♪♪
32259
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