Original subtitles

What's the set-up?

It's perfect. House is miles from anywhere.

- It's definitely a real Stubbs? - Yeah, worth thousands.

SHE SCREAMS - Out of my way.

GLASS SHATTERS - Move, or I'll blow your brains out!

You've gotta let me in, Boisie.

Men have been pushing me around my whole life.

I won't have it anymore.

I'm still waiting for a visit from the social worker.

I'm desperate to get my little girl back.

What do you want, Joan?

A normal life.

Can you act?

With you on my arm, anything's possible.

I want an 18-carat, 4-claw mount with the fake set in.

You love all this, don't you?

Dressing up...

pretending?

I can't get that cute little ring out of my mind.

It's an exceptional piece.

Thought you really were a green-eyed monster for a minute.

You like him though? - Yeah, I do.

I think he's great!

THEY GIGGLE

Marry me?

Yes!

Yes!

THEY LAUGH AND CHEER

Yes, grab the champers!

Got something I need to tell you.

What?

The Ashburys have asked us if they can adopt Kelly.

It's just a request at the moment.

You're her mother and no one's doing anything without due process.

We do always try to keep children with their mothers.

It's really important that Kelly moves back into a settled, stable environment.

Right now, we're not convinced you can provide that.

Come on then, let's get you that sparkler.

Morning.

There we are. The perfect engagement ring.

- Nice. - It's gorgeous.

I love it.

D'you think Kelly'll like it?

I can't believe she's gonna be here in a couple of hours.

I can't believe I handed over good money for it.

I'm not nicking my own engagement ring, am I?

Forty grand, Joan.

It's bad luck to start a marriage with stolen goods.

Oh, but it's alright if the cash came from the 65 grand

we got from selling a ring you did half inch?

Mm...

Yeah? - Are you saying I'm not worth it?

Mm? Cos we both know I am.

Love that.

Alright, Boisie.

What can I do you for?

DS Harris.

You heard anything about an art theft in Sussex?

Not a word.

A George Stubbs got nicked and a gun was involved.

You won't mind if we look inside?

Don't suppose you've heard any whispers?

Me?

Why would I?

They must know something, Boisie.

That's just what they do. They check all the antique shops in the area.

Yeah, but how long are they gonna take?

I mean, what if Kelly comes back early-- - Stop.

It's going to be fine.

Don't let the door hit your arse on the way out.

We've gotta get rid of that painting.

I'm working on it.

Never mind "working on it".

We can't sell it now, can we?

Just chuck it in the river.

I can't fight Kelly's adoption with the police sniffing around.

They didn't find anything.

Yeah, but if they do, it's a direct link between us and the robbery.

Can you calm down? We carry on as normal, it'll blow over.

Are you fucking serious?

What do you suggest, Joan?

We go straight.

What?

We run this place completely legit from now on.

There ain't an antiques shop in the world that's completely legit.

Yes, but we need the social to think we're a normal couple.

We're not though, are we?

I mean it, Boisie.

So, no more diamonds?

No more furs?

And what'll you do all day?

I'll work, in the shop.

DOORBELL RINGS

Put that out, they'll give her the third degree when she gets back.

She's a kid.

Well, she ain't stupid, I'm telling you now.

SHE GASPS Hello!

Hi, Kel, come in, come in!

Hi, sweetheart. How are you?

When did you get that big? You got so...

You must be Boisie. - Mrs May.

And you must be Kelly.

Kels, this is Boisie.

Boisie, this is the most beautiful girl in all the world.

Right, I'll be back later to get you for your tea.

Oh, don't worry, I've got loads in for her.

Burgers. Hot dogs.

You still like hot dogs, don't you?

Course she does. Who doesn't like hot dogs?

Bye-bye, Kelly.

Bye, thank you. - Let me get the door for you.

Thank you. Oops... SHE CHUCKLES

Right.

So, today we are gonna go and see Auntie Nancy

and she has a big treat for you!

"Love Action" by The Human League

And spin, and spin! - Go, Kelly!

Wee! THEY LAUGH

#...to what you're going through #

# If you're a hard man or if you're a child #

# It still might get to you #

Kels! Kelly, say cheese!

Cheese.

CAMERA CLICKS - Yay!

Kelly! Grab anything you fancy.

Stop fussing.

Oh, I need this to go well.

It is going well.

I want her back, Boisie.

We have to go straight.

It's not that simple.

Yes it is. I have to do this for her.

You understand that, right? - Yeah, I get it.

So, you'll get rid of that painting then, yeah?

I got the chocolate one, look.

Oh, my goodness.

Do you know what this means?

That Mummy likes diamonds?

JOAN CHUCKLES - Clever girl.

But it also means

I've asked your mum if she'll marry me.

And then you'll come and live with us and we'll be a proper family again.

A fresh start.

Am I coming to the wedding?

Of course.

You'll be my chief bridesmaid, obviously.

You and Auntie Nancy.

Pretty frocks, flowers.

Will I get flowers in my hair?

Well, I mean, you can't be a bridesmaid

without bloody flowers in your hair, can ya?

SHE CHUCKLES

Well, look...

I might be able to put a bit more cash

in your direction, if you're interested?

I need a buyer for something.

Sharpish. - Right.

What we talking about?

A Stubbs painting.

You nicked that?

Yeah, me and Joan.

HE CHUCKLES

Police are asking a lot of questions about it.

Why I need a buyer.

Look, none of the usual suspects are gonna touch anything that hot.

Can you think of any unusual suspects?

Maybe.

Yeah? - For...

Twenty five percent.

Twenty five!

Risky... - Do me a favour.

Risky, risky, risky this one, Boise.

Very risky.

Alright, alright, save the spiel, mate, I know you're broke.

Who you got in mind?

Darlin'?

The Irish.

IRA?

HE WHISPERS

They've always got money to spend.

What are a bunch of terrorists gonna do with a painting of a fucking horse?

Hang it on their wall?

They always need to buy things from abroad, right?

Yeah, guns and explosives.

Look, they have trouble moving money overseas.

But... but art, it's a different kettle of fish.

You think we can trust people like that?

I think that we can trust the fact that they always need things to shift.

And a Stubbs is perfect.

So, is it a yes or no?

BABY CRIES OUTSIDE

What are you doing?

Needs restoration.

But before that, there can't be a grain of dirt

or it'll get trapped.

Why don't you clean the tea sets? There are some special cloths.

Working in the shop was your idea, remember?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, to make sure I get Kelly back.

You know what we should do?

I'm all ears.

We should turn this place into a jewellers.

It's not enough to like sparklers to run a jewellers, Joan.

You have to know about 'em.

And not just that stuff you learned to parrot.

Proper deep knowledge.

Fine. I'll learn.

How you gonna do that then?

I want to be fully qualified.

Then you'll have to do the foundation course

which is £2,250.

Do you take cash?

Ready for the big day tomorrow, Boisie?

Yes, Joan's got it all under control.

Nice place you've got here.

Albie's mate's letting us use it.

Till I get myself sorted.

Won't be long.

Fingers crossed.

Give us a shout if you want anything else.

Thanks, Val.

Can't believe you spent five grand on a wedding ring.

And 40 on an engagement ring!

Going soft, Boise.

HE SIGHS

Yeah, I couldn't nick 'em. Joan wants us to go straight.

What women want and what they get are two different things.

I've been telling Val I'm going straight for years.

HE SCOFFS

Joan's different though.

Too right.

Well, here's a day I thought I'd never see.

You getting married.

Yeah, and to someone you actually like.

SHE CHUCKLES

What?

It's just a bit quick.

Do you know him well enough?

I do, yeah. We can say anything to one another.

There's no...

secrets.

So you're gonna sell the Stubbs to the Irish?

Yeah.

Well, you'll need someone to say it's not a fake.

And it's gotta be an expert.

They're no mugs.

Mas cervezas.

Ah, thanks, Val.

These ones done?

Yeah. - Yeah.

Nice one, babe.

I was thinking Hugo at Abney's.

He's the one who gave me the tip-off in the first place.

Mm... Trust him?

Enough.

I've got a little something for you.

Mmm...

Are they real?

Course they're bloody real.

Got Kelly a necklace as well.

I wish she was here.

You'd think the social would let her stay the night.

It's not allowed, while they're still talking about...

bloody adoption.

Can you imagine what Mum and Dad would say?

Oh, don't start.

Oh, I just wish you'd invited 'em

so they could see how well you're doing, and Kelly.

No, that man is not coming within a mile of my daughter.

He's too ill to hurt a fly these days. - It's never gonna happen.

May I present my beautiful, talented wife.

Let's hear it for Mrs Hannington.

CROWD CHEERS

You're not so bad yourself.

Just don't expect me to honour and obey, OK?

GUESTS LAUGH

Speech, Boise! Speech!

Speech. Speech. Speech.

Come on.

You know I'm a man of few words.

Only when it comes to the old bill, Boisie.

GUESTS LAUGH

Only words he knows down the nick are "no" and "comment".

So, I'll keep it brief. - Thank God for that.

HE CHUCKLES If you'll let me get a word in

all I want to say is...

I'm very grateful to you all for coming

and... and helping us celebrate today.

I can honestly say I've never been happier.

So...

here's to you.

To Boisie and Joan.

Boisie and Joan.

APPLAUSE

I love you.

Love you.

"I'm So Excited" by The Pointer Sisters

# Tonight's the night we 're gonna make it happen #

# Tonight we'll put all other things aside #

# Give in this tiMe and show me some affection #

# We're goin' for those pleasures in the night #

# I want to love you, feel you #

# Wrap myself around you #

# I want to squeeze you, please you #

# I just can't get enough #

# And if you Move... #

Are you alright?

Lots of noise and people you don't know, eh?

Joan, come on.

Come and dance with us.

Not gonna leave her on her own, am I?

Which one's your favourite?

Tell me he hasn't got the hump cos you've gotta look after your own daughter?

Oh, mind your own.

Keep your hair on.

How about you keep your nose out?

First off you're telling me I don't know him well enough.

And do you?

What was all that crap about the police and no comment?

If you're not banging on about Boisie, you are on one about Dad.

He'd be proud of you now.

Proud?

You know as well as I do that if he were here

he'd be finding fault in everything, just like he's done since the day I was born.

You were the apple of his eye.

Yeah, till I turned 12.

Joan, you were a tearaway, he was old fashioned.

He didn't know how to handle you. - I wasn't a tearaway.

I was a runaway and you know why.

Why do you pretend like you don't know what he did to me?

I've still got the scars to prove it.

Not in front of Kelly.

Oh no, she's gonna grow up understanding that it's not alright

for a man to behave like he did

and it's not alright for other people to make out like it didn't happen.

You and Mum are as bad as each other, you know that?

So you'll dance with Albie, but not your husband?

Kelly needs her. You can see that.

How about you take Kelly back to the Ashburys, eh?

They're staying nearby.

You don't wanna go yet, do you?

I'm tired.

Here y'are, ten minutes in a taxi.

No, I want Kel here.

Yeah, but she doesn't wanna be here, does she?

Nancy?

Give your mum a kiss, Kel.

You alright?

Yeah? OK.

Come with Auntie Nancy.

She'll be alright. Come on.

GUESTS CHEER

"Let's Dance" by David Bowie

...judging the value of a gemstone is complex, of course

and much depends on the type of stone

but the number one factor will always be durability.

No matter how beautiful a stone looks

the most important characteristic is how long it will endure

and do we know which stones are the most durable?

Diamonds.

Actually, no. Anyone else?

At the back.

Jade?

Correct. Could you tell us why?

Well, diamonds are the hardest stones but they have perfect cleavage

so they can split in two more easily than jade.

You'd say then that we should look to avoid cleavage in a diamond?

Oh, I wouldn't go that far.

THEY CHUCKLE

So, if we're prepared to excuse cleavage in our diamonds

how do we value them?

The first question we must always ask ourselves is

"Are these diamonds real?"

And if we're talking about uncut stones, we're going to answer that

by checking for any tiny inclusions

or in layman's terms, flaws

because a flawless uncut diamond is a fake.

All you've got to do is tell them the painting is genuine, which it is.

I can't.

You've done it loads of times before for me.

Not this one.

You'll get your usual fee plus ten percent.

I value my kneecaps more, Boisie.

So you don't want that grand for the initial tip-off then?

You'll get nothing if I can't sell it. I know you need that cash.

Just find someone else, Boisie, for God's sake.

For one thing, I'll never pull it off.

Look at me.

Mm?

I'll screw it up. They'll see I'm a wreck and they won't believe me.

OK.

If I find someone else, then you need to get them plotted in here.

The Irish will want to know they're kosher.

What will I tell my boss?

Say... I dunno, they're here to train.

Hugo, you can say anything you like, I don't care.

If you want that grand, this is what's happening.

And I need you to tell 'em everything there is to know

about George fucking Stubbs.

Well, yeah, they'll need to be word bloody perfect.

Listen, there is no way this is coming back on me.

This is the one I'm not sure is genuine.

I think I can see the smallest flaw, but...

Some inclusions are extremely hard to detect with magnification alone

so checking for fluorescents with a UV torch can be very helpful.

Hm? - Mm...

Have another look.

Do you see an inclusion?

I can, yeah.

That means?

It's real.

HE SIGHS

You gonna tell me what's up?

I've found a buyer for the Stubbs.

We agreed that you'd chuck it in the river.

No, we didn't. - Yes, we did!

Cos I'm trying to get my daughter back

and you stood there and you told me that you understood that.

I do understand.

Oh yeah, provided you can still do whatever you want, when you want.

A work of art is not going in the river.

I just need someone to say they're from Abney's and sign it off as legit.

I'd ask you to do it, but...

You don't care, do you?

You don't care if I get her back or not.

Well, married life is suiting you.

How d'you know I'm married?

It's my job to know what you're up to.

What you're thinking.

Hm...

Well, go on then, Clever Clogs.

You hungry?

Hungry for what?

Change.

Excitement.

I know what you really want, Joan.

To have Kelly back with you.

And I would love for that to happen.

The thing is, I don't think it can.

Not now.

What's this?

That robbery in Sussex.

Dunno what you're on about.

Yes, you do. Harris and his boys searched the shop.

That's the woman involved.

Harris has met you.

If he sees this, he's gonna know straight away that it's you

and he'll nick you for aggravated burglary.

You're looking at years for that, not months.

It doesn't look anything like me.

The thing is, I can make sure that doesn't happen.

Why would you do that?

I mean, you don't wear a uniform, but you've still got a badge.

All you've gotta do is work for me.

Look, you be my eyes and ears, and I'll do a deal.

Get the other thing gone.

Think about it, Joan.

You could have a completely different life.

Safe with Kelly.

I'm not a grass, Tom.

And anyway, I've got nothing to tell you.

VEHICLE BRAKES

CAR DOORS CLOSE

Thanks, I'll keep it.

Here you go, mate.

What's with the old bill?

Don't know what you're on about.

That bloke I've just seen you with.

Well, who says he's old bill?

We both know bacon when we smell it.

If you must know...

he wanted to show me this.

Apparently she was involved in nicking a painting by George Stubbs.

A burglary, Boise.

A burglary where a bloke got clocked with a gun.

According to who?

The woman who owns the house and the painting.

What about the fella, he say anything?

Oh no, don't worry, all he can remember is that whoever hit him

was wearing a mask, so you are in the clear.

It's just me facing time.

With one witness? Who drinks like George Best?

That'll never stick. - It will if they find the painting.

SHE SIGHS

SHE COUGHS

DOOR CLOSES

Oi, don't!

I'm not going down and losing my girl over a few quid, Boisie.

It's not about the money.

It's about who the buyer is.

I'm selling it to the Irish.

You've organised a sale

with the IR-fucking-A and you didn't tell me?

I know. I know. It was the only fucking option. So...

I just want Kelly back. - This won't affect that.

Are you mad?

Tell them it can't be done, tell them the deal's off.

I can't do that with the IRA! Are you trying to get me killed?

SHE SIGHS

We said we were going straight.

That life's not for the likes of us, Joan.

I need you, Joan.

I have since the second I laid eyes on you.

If I do this...

it's because we have no fucking choice.

Can I help you?

Jessica Cunningham to see Hugo Saxton.

Of course. - Thank you.

Right, tell me about this.

One of a set of three paintings

commissioned in 1759 by the second Duke of Richmond.

The third Duke of Richmond, Jesus.

We've only just been through this.

You do realise how dangerous these people are?

Of course I know.

You cannot mess up.

SHE SIGHS

One of a set of three paintings commissioned in 1759

by the third Duke of Richmond

who was so pleased with the results that he encouraged his fellow dukes

and lords to follow his lead. - PHONE RINGS

Hugo Saxton.

Can I speak to Jessica Cunningham, please?

Yes, she's here with me now, one moment please.

Jessica Cunningham speaking. How can I help you?

PHONE HANGS UP

Right... HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

You'll need to inspect every inch, very carefully

and you'll need to check the signature

against photographs of other examples.

As for the brush strokes, you're assuring yourself

that these are in keeping with the artist's entire body of work.

Be confident, self-assured.

Most of all, do not hesitate.

Good afternoon, everyone.

Jessica Cunningham.

Sean.

This is Michael.

You work at Abney's?

I'm sure you've checked, or I wouldn't be here.

So how are we gonna do this?

It's not my business

but I do need a quiet space to assess the piece.

Right, well... HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

I've got an hotel room-- - Not a fucking chance.

We're all in the same room with both the painting and the money.

Because?

Plausible deniability, sweetheart.

Right, you come to the hotel with me and do your thing.

You stay here with Michael. - Hang on...

When, uh... sorry what's your name again?

Jessica.

When Jessica confirms she's happy with what she sees

I call Michael, he'll give you the cash.

I'm not just gonna hand over the painting...

We do things our way, or not at all.

I'm sure Albie'll be around to keep an eye out.

It's alright. Let's just do what he says.

Drink?

No, thank you.

You're tense.

You're armed.

Right then, shall we take a look?

A lot of copies around.

It's a very popular artist.

There was a big exhibition at The Tate last year.

I wonder how many of them were fake.

Each painting will have been authenticated.

By someone like you?

Yes.

You're not exactly honest, Miss Cunningham, or you wouldn't be here.

My reputation relies on my opinions being honest.

If they could be bought, they wouldn't be worth much, would they?

What's your opinion on this?

Patience, please.

Interesting...

It hasn't been relined.

And?

And it's highly unusual.

To find a piece in its original condition like this is...

rare.

Let's see.

Ah. Candle wax.

The thing about fakes, good fakes

is that they're completely perfect.

Every stroke utterly perfect.

But what about the flaws, Sean?

PHONE RINGS

Michael, phone!

Thanks very much for the Stubbs.

Now be on your way.

I think you need to get going.

I want my money.

And I want a free Ireland.

We had a deal.

Your deal's fucked.

Now leave, while you still can.

You do know what we do with these paintings, don't you?

I stay out of these things, Sean.

We use them as collateral to buy arms for the struggle.

As I say, I stay out of these things.

Well, you're a hard bitch, right enough.

I'll think you'll find I'm not hard, just practical.

D'you fancy that drink now?

I'm afraid I have another engagement.

I really do...

Police! Get down!

SHE GRUNTS

You're under arrest!

Yep, we got 'em.

Yeah, alright. - Get in.

Good look, Joan.

Have you been following me the whole time?

I'm sorry. I tried to offer you a way out.

Pigs.

You're all the same.

Oh, Joan.

Joan Hannington, you are remanded in custody

and we are not granting you bail

because there are substantial grounds to believe

that you will not come back to court

or you will commit another offence.

We believe this because of the nature and seriousness of the offence

and how you might be dealt with for it.

And because of your criminal record, personal background and character.

You May apply to the Crown Court for bail in due course.

Don't you fucking hang up on me, fuck!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

We're waiting! - I've just, I've just arrived.

I need to make some calls. I need to call my little girl.

No, I need to call my daughter.

Go on, we're waiting!

Oh, honestly, mate...

PHONE DIALS

Hello? 0829.

Mrs Ashbury? It's me, Joan. Can I speak to Kelly please?

- Yeah, go on then, let's 'ave it! - INMATES CLAMOUR

Joan?

Joan?

Joan? - I said can you please tell--

I'm truly sorry but I think it's better if you don't speak to Kelly

while you're in your current environment.

No, no, you can't do that--

As I say, I am sorry. But it's better for Kelly.

You can see that, I'M sure.

FIGHT CONTINUES

DIAL TONE SOUNDS

Order! Wake up!

SHOUTING CONTINUES

# Darlin', don't you cry #

# It's just for a while #

# Cos you'll never be the girl if you let them rule #

# Oh no, you'll never be the girl, till you kick those blues #

# Oh, gotta go, get your glamour on #

# But don't let them nearer home #

# But don't let them near your soul #