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About thirty days before I started law school, I went to see

Batman, The Dark Knight Rises

with my cousin and a group of friends in Aurora, Colorado.

That night turned out to be the largest mass shooting in U.S.

history to date.

They measure that statistic like a war zone by casualties,

Fourteen dead, fifty injured. People scurrying out of the theater.

When people found out I was

in the shooting, they always have questions.

They wanted to know, what's it like inside the building?

What's it like to live through a terrorist attack?

People are scared, and rightly so. But I noticed

as the questions were coming, they all were looking for a quick fix.

They wanted to know where they should hide

or which crowded venues to avoid.

Or if we ban guns, does that fix it?

Frustratingly, to me, the one area where people weren't sympathetic

and didn't want to spend any time is in the area of mental health.

They were treating the survivors as though they should just hurry up

and get back to their normal lives as quickly as possible, rather than trying

to learn and grow from such an unusual and heightened experience.

And they kept that attitude, no matter how many shootings kept coming.

School shooting at an elementary school at Sandy Hook Elementary

A hundred people are thought to have died. Shots rang out

on the campus of Virginia Tech.

The mass shooting situation in Southern California...

Until overnight attitudes changed.

Fifty dead. Fifty three injured on the scene in Orlando, Florida...

The Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida

became the new largest mass shooting in U.S. history.

And at that point, people started to understand

this isn't a quick fix. Which leads to the question, what do we do?

So a group of survivors and I, and survivors is a broad term

because mass shootings affect a whole lot of people.

We got together in Colorado to try and figure something out.

We are sharing our stories

because we realized we have learned something unique

and we hope that by doing this, we will stop the next terrorist,

the next shooter,

and give a little strength and hope to survivors everywhere.

Hey. Yeah, thanks for calling back.

I don't know what else to do.

I'm Kim Woodruff.

I was a student at Columbine.

I was friends with the shooters.

I was sitting outside with my friends when they came and shot my best friend.

She's still in a wheelchair fourteen years later.

From that, I have developed an unusual skill set.

You all learned how to be humans on this planet between six months

and two years old, which people don't remember.

We're going to learn how to interact on this planet

like an infant only we're conscious we're doing it this time around.

It's a little weird.

It's a little unsettling, but the best way out is through.

Through the PTSD

you'll have post-traumatic growth. Let's begin.

Bring it up. Inhale, salute.

Exhale. Lift up. A journey of a thousand miles

begins with one step. Left foot.

I saw you on the news.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it?

What do you mean?

Well, now you're on Obama's speed dial.

I don't think that's accurate.

Well, you're the new poster girl for gun control.

I don't want to take anyone's guns.

I just want better checks.

I'm just going to say it because it's what we're all thinking.

You never even liked your brother.

Excuse me. I live here.

You may have the media fooled, but you and your brother fought all the time.

Yeah, we're siblings. That's what happens.

You're exploiting his death for attention.

I'm talking about gun control because my brother was killed by a gun.

No no, you can sit on the sidelines

and judge all you want, but at least I'm doing something.

Jacob? Yeah? I asked if you finished

your English homework. Where's your brain at, did you sleep last night?

Yeah, I slept. Joshua, is that true? Mom,

how would I know? I was asleep.

I haven't finished it yet, but I will in third

period. I...

Jacob?

Yeah, I'll do it.

Hey, are you okay, Jacob?

Yeah, thanks, Chuck.

He looks sad, are you sure you're OK?

Yes, thank you.

Hello, Jacob.

Hi. If you ever need someone to talk

to you know I'm here, right? Yes, thank you.

Are you OK? Yeah, I'm fine.

I need to go to the bathroom.

Mom! Come get me, I need to transfer or move or something.

I can't keep going.

I'm so sick of being the shooter boy.

Everyone look at me like I'm broken...

We're going to talk about assumption of risk.

Even though we don't consciously think about it,

when we get in the car, we understand we can get into an accident.

When we get in a plane, we know we can crash.

When we go to war,

we know violence is a possibility.

So the legal action arises

when there has been no assumption of risk.

Such as this morning.

Did you all see the news about Sandy Hook?

Can I borrow a pen?

Excuse me. I need a pen.

I don't have one.

Does anyone have a pen for Ms. Jones?

This is a great moment to talk about my favorite topic.

Highest use. You are each paying about $350 per hour of class here.

With fifty of you, this class

is costing $17,500 an hour.

I'm considered one of the world's experts

on torts, evidenced by the fact

that myself and two colleagues wrote the torts book

two thirds of the top one hundred law schools use in the first year.

So my question to you is,

Do you think it is your highest use

to spend the roughly $300 a minute this class costs

looking for a pen?

So, it's my challenge to all of you

that the point of our lives is not to squander

the time and resources we do have, but rather

honor your very lives

by respecting the highest use

of your moments here.

Come to class prepared.

Now, the shooting this morning at Sandy Hook,

For which show?

Two for The Dark Knight Rises.

Tim.

Tim, inside Sandy Hook

Elementary, there was no assumption of risk, correct?

Yeah. Yeah, unless you think a second grade teacher

could stop someone in military grade armor and weapons?

No. We're getting there.

What would be a mitigating factor?

Want to sit here? Yeah, let's do it.

I'm sorry, I can't think of anything on the spot right now. Yes, you can.

If I could, I would

I would hate for your attitude to affect your performance,

Mr. McGrath. I'm sorry, there's...

Can anyone help our classmates with the correct answer, John?

Easy. Notice and foreseeability.

Tim? Yeah, I'm in here.

Are you OK? Yeah. I'm just a...

just a little shaky.

This is silly. It shouldn't be this hard.

OK, I just wanted to check.

I wondered if Sandy Hook freaked you out.

I mean, we are in a school and all.

I feel like I should be able to pull it together better.

I got off easy. I don't think any of you got off easy.

My mom still won't go to a movie unless it's a weekday matinee.

Maybe this isn't from the shooting,

maybe this is just that typical first year law school stuff.

Yeah. You keep telling yourself that.

And single whip. Good.

Step out, drop the weight,

drop the worries.

Exhale. Control issues.

You have to learn to accept giving up control of what

you can't change. That person you were before the shooting,

grieve that person. He or she died in the theater that night.

Let's say goodbye. Exhale.

Joshua!

Bye, mom. Bye mom. I better hear that you were nice to your brother today.

I'm always nice.

Well, look who's coming.

You going to talk to her?

I don't know. You're such a wuss.

You don't need to pretend like you care.

You're my little brother, of course I care. Shut up. Clumsy me.

Hi, Jacob. Do you need some help? I got it.

Do you write poetry?

It's more like song lyrics, but yeah, sometimes.

Are you going to do the talent show this year?

I was thinking about it.

Yeah, I wrote a song and I was thinking about doing it.

That's really cool.

Bye.

So when am I going to meet him?

Can we talk about something else, please?

There is so much else to talk about.

There is, handsome Adrian.

I just said something else.

I just want to meet him.

Fine. You know what, if I'm still dating him by your birthday,

then I'll bring him to your birthday dinner.

He doesn't seem like a loser.

Are you suggesting I've only dated losers?

Come on. OK, I've mostly dated losers.

Thank you. Don't you think that this is a problem?

I mean, I guess it is when I get my heart broken. Which is every time.

What does it matter?

It matters because you are such a cool

and wonderful sister and you're my best friend.

Right? I'm just saying,

hold yourself to a higher standard,

I bet you'll be surprised who shows up.

I'm your best friend?

Don't get all emo on me.

You forgot your video games and your superheroes.

Yes, those are my true loves. Oh!

OK. And I'm down.

Oh, my God. What?

Oh, my God. I just peed myself laughing.

Are you kidding me?

No, I'm not kidding you. I...

Oh, it's Adrian. Here.

Hey, Adrian. Yeah. I'm so sorry.

She can't come to the phone right now because she's just peed her pants.

As a grown woman. Yeah. Whoa. I just hung up on him.

We are so in a fight right now.

I am so sorry. I need you to fix this.

All right. You go get the car.

The car? Yeah, I'm going to go hide in the bushes here.

I can't drive a car up here.

You better figure it out. I'll get you a towel?

I'm not walking down.

Yeah, just crouch in the underbrush that won't creep anybody out.

Please don't make fun of me right now.

I'm very vulnerable.

Faster, I'm running as fast as I can.

Pew! Pew! Pew!

Oh no, you got me, buddy, you got me.

Will you please play puzzles with me? I have to go

give a talk, but I bet if you ask Brendan nicely he'll go play puzzles.

Hey, why don't you ask Uncle Timmy why he moved to California?

Why did you move to California?

Because I started a company there, and I don't like snow

the way you people like snow. You should tell Uncle Timmy to move back to Colorado.

Move back to Colorado.

OK, I will think about it.

Here's your keys, man, you're going to be late

if you don't get going. Thank you very much.

Can I get a high five before I go? Bam!

Bye, bye! Good luck!

You have to understand the full economic cycle,

from manufacturing to distribution and then back again.

Hi. I'm a business major.

Thank you for coming.

Do you have any advice for someone that wants to start their own company?

Like, what's the secret?

I always like the idea that preparation meets opportunity,

so I cold called like four hundred investors before one worked.

That's dedication.

We've been studying how to take advantage of black swan events.

I thought the definition of a black swan event is

you can't predict it. Yes, but

what if you could? You could make a lot of money, I guess.

Hi. Hi. I'm an arts major.

Thank you for coming.

Did you ever want to do something creative? Yeah, I did.

So why don't you do it?

Well, that's a good question.

I don't know. I started a company and suddenly there were investors

and meetings, and I have no idea.

Maybe someday. Anybody else have a question?

Why don't I ask a question?

For the students who want to make an impact on the world,

we've been talking about agents of change.

What do you think changes the world more? Politics, law, business or art?

Definitely art and business.

And then the law and the politicians have to play catch up.

See, make art, my brilliant students.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought I'd

turn this off.

Huh.

It's never a dull moment. I...

I need to take this, so that's all I have for today.

If you all want to hang out and answer questions,

I'll just be a minute, but thank you so much.

Let's give him a round of applause.

Hey, what's going on?

The money manager embezzled the company's money.

All the accounts?

All but you're back up, which will cover the lawyers.

They want to get on a call in 30 minutes.

OK.

What should I do?

Pray.

All right. Thanks. Bye.

Hey, sorry about that.

What else can I tell you?

Cousin, would you quit with the law books?

You're going to be there in a month anyway. Check out this view, man.

Yeah, I just got to check this answer.

You're really going to go to law school.

You know, that sounds horrible, right?

OK, failure sucks.

I never thought I'd be bankrupt

and go on to live at home and going back to college.

But moving forward in any direction is better than waiting and hoping.

So I'm going to do that while you enjoy your view.

I just love this car.

Would you like to buy it?

Soon it's going to be my most valuable investment. I don't know.

Value on a car goes down every year. Then you should buy it soon.

Guess who this is?

Yeah, hi. No, no,

I haven't heard anything in the last three hours.

No, I don't know how to make a judge move any faster.

But if you do, I would love some advice.

I'm sorry. Yeah, I'll call.

That's now the third time they have called you today. This sucks.

I can't even be mad at them because I would do the exact same thing

if I were in their shoes. Well, my life can't get any worse.

Do you realize how big of a jerk you sound when you say stuff like that?

Look, just take a deep breath.

I'm going to go enjoy the view.

Timmy, Timmy.

Timmy, Timmy.

Grandma and Grandpa are here.

Well let's go see them.

Here I go.

Grandpa, where's your chair?

I hate people thinking I'm weak.

I'm walking through the door of my daughter's house on my own two legs.

Hello, handsome.

I thought you were coming tomorrow.

It's important to switch things up.

He insisted on coming to see you.

Hey, you. Grandpa, will you please

play puzzles with me? In a minute.

Would you like a coffee? Not just yet.

So you're leaving for law school.

I am. You really want to do that?

I don't have a choice.

Oh, we always have choices.

I need to make a living and they embezzled all the company money

and my money is going to go towards lawyers.

I know you can handle law school.

I'm just not sure you're meant to.

I have no idea where to go next,

and this is here, and they offered a scholarship, it seems right.

I almost married a different girl before your grandmother.

Not everything that seems right is.

So what am I supposed to do?

I can't tell you that.

I always feel like I'm about seven years old

when I'm talking to you.

OK.

Don't pick a path.

Just because it's clear, it probably means you're on someone else's.

Grandpa puzzles yet? Yeah, where are we going to play puzzles?

You boys hungry?

I could cook or we could order chicken?

That sounds perfect.

Tim and I are actually going

to see the midnight movie later, so that would be great.

OK, well, I'll see what your mom has in the freezer.

There they are.

Hi, I'm Tom, this is my wife, Nancy.

All right. So, Adrian, it's great to finally meet you. Likewise.

We've been looking forward to this.

I didn't think we'd have to wait until a birthday to meet your boyfriend.

OK. Where is the birthday boy?

Oh, hey. Food, we should get some food.

I got the cheese sticks, they're her brother's favorite.

So do you have any plans for the future? Oh, OK.

Where is he? He'll be here.

He said he wanted to make meeting Adrian special.

He also wanted to apologize for when he made you wet your pants. Dad! Tom!

Oh, is that, was that a secret?

Is there a hole I can crawl into?

Honey, I thought you said that didn't happen.

Fine, fine. OK, you know what?

It's better that you know,

your girlfriend about a month ago wet her pants while laughing.

It was a very long walk, and

I really had to go and there was nowhere for me to do it. So I just...

Oh my God. Oh my God. Is that? Your son.

Oh, OK. So sorry, I'm late, guys.

Did we order any appetizers yet?

What? What's wrong?

Why aren't you talking?

I ordered the cheesesticks.

This joint has the best cheesesticks in town.

Have you tried the cheesesticks, yet?

I really like the cheesesticks, just a suggestion.

It's great to meet you.

Did you want to come to the movie tonight?

I wasn't aware. And here are your... Cheesesticks! Yes, thank you.

Just a second, I need to tweet.

My fans want to know what I'm doing on my big day.

I'm a man with a lot to offer the world.

Oh man, one hour until the movie.

And it's going to be the best birthday ever. Sent. Great.

OK, tell me everything about you.

I have to make sure that you are good enough for my sister.

You don't have to answer that. No.

Jacob, get down!

Jacob. Jacob.

Are you ready?

Yeah. You know, Eileen's here. I'm not going to blow it.

Eileen's not here.

Oh, didn't you see her? Shut up. She's not here.

OK. She's not here.

You're lying.

Take a peek around the corner.

What do I do? I'm just messing with you.

You got this brother.

Jacob.

Jacob.

New Caption

You need to come in sometime.

I don't want to do this.

It'll feel better once you're inside.

That's what you said about the funeral, and it didn't.

I'm not ready to say goodbye.

This is just a celebration of his life.

It's not goodbye.

Sometimes I feel like this would be easier if we just lost him

in a normal way.

You know like if it was a...

I don't know a car accident or if he got sick or something.

But to be a part of all this, the...

the reporters and the websites, this...

this international circuit, I just.

Time will do what time does. Maybe.

For now, let's just celebrate his life.

Okay, sweetie. I love you.

Sorry.

That was really good.

Thanks. Was that about the shooting?

I saw online you were in the shooting. Yeah.

What's going on? I don't know.

I want to go back on vacation.

Excuse me. Is it true that you were in the Batman shooting?

Where did you hear that? Todd.

Todd! You tell everyone we were in the shooting?

Yeah, I Googled all the survivors when it happened.

I Google everything that way I don't have to remember anything.

That that was not OK!

You really shouldn't yell.

You're a jerk!

I didn't do anything wrong.

I'm right next door, I hear one peep.

You guys are suspended, OK?

Why are you so angry?

It wasn't your secret to tell.

Why does it have to be a secret?

Because...

Because the theater's in my

neighborhood, sometimes I shake and stuff, sometimes

I'm back in the theater.

You got shot at, you didn't do anything wrong.

I must have. Must have what?

I must have done something bad.

Do you really think that? Yeah.

Why else would have it happened? I must have done something wrong.

When I broke my leg, I couldn't play baseball.

My dad told me a story. Good for you.

He said that there was this really rich guy and the rich guy

believed in himself, his family and God and everything.

And the world was a really wonderful place. But that's what

you think when you're rich, right? So the guy got tested.

He lost everything. But no matter how bad things got

he still believed that the world was a really great place.

Good for him.

And eventually, because they stayed strong

he was able to become happy again.

That's a silly story.

You really believe that?

My dad told it to me. This is just like that story.

You need to stay strong,

don't be so angry,

just keep writing and playing your music.

Please go ahead.

Explain the situation to us.

Well, the shooting happened about thirty days before I started school.

And I was having severe panic attacks about every three days

for the first year.

It took a while, but I finally found a therapist who's helping.

Why did it take a while?

There's not exactly an instruction manual for something like this.

Most of the experts say that we don't even know the effects

for over a year after experiencing a trauma like this.

I see.

Look, the important thing, though, is that I'm getting better.

I'm having less panic attacks, I'm learning how to handle them,

and I've qualified for extra testing time for this final.

So if I have a panic attack

during a final, I can get up and walk

around and after a few minutes I can come back in and

and finish it, and do well. I can handle this.

But you haven't showed a basic level of competency.

Basic level of competency?

I'm still passing, which is a condition of the scholarship.

Your grades dipped into what we consider a problem area last semester.

We're halfway through this semester, and I was point 02 into the probation zone.

That's still below.

We're putting you on permanent suspension starting immediately.

Is that kind of like expulsion?

You can apply again next year.

No, your email said, you wanted me to come down and talk

about making accommodations for an extraordinary situation.

You don't think the largest mass shooting in U.S.

history is an extraordinary situation?

We really wish you would have taken a year to get a hold of your anxiety.

Yeah, I wish I would have waited a year or too,

but it's not like I could have anticipated this was going to be a problem.

But again, I'm getting better.

Why not just let me stay through the end of the semester

and I can prove to you

I will do just as great a job on these finals

as I did on the LSAT getting in here. I want to be here.

I can handle this.

At the end of the day, we say we're a family, but we're an outcome

based institution and you simply haven't shown a basic level of competency.

Sorry. The decision is final.

Why did you make me come down here and

talk about extraordinary situations if you'd already made up your mind?

It's just so that if I sue you, you can pretend

that you went through the proper steps to understand mental health. Isn't it?

But you don't. You don't understand mental health.

Mr. McGrath, we truly are sorry.

Me, too.

So, guys, I've been...

I've been talking with a buddy of mine at work about...

you know, that night. Just say it.

The night someone tried to kill us.

I can't get it to sit right.

You're my children.

I'm supposed to protect you.

And I didn't protect you that night.

I knew you were way too young to be going to a movie

at midnight. And I don't...

I don't know what I would have done.

If you really want to move.

I'm going to do everything I can to make sure we can do that.

I don't care if I have to work three jobs.

But I'm not letting you down again.

Dwayne, this isn't your fault. No.

From here on out, I'm going to protect my family.

I got a job in Wyoming.

So we'll be moving

to a fresh start as a family.

Really, Dad? Really.

Thanks, buddy.

They kicked me out.

Hmm. Administrators

sometimes make bad choices.

It stings a little.

Yeah.

So what are you going to do?

I don't know. A professor asked

if I want to give a talk about mass shootings.

So what are you going to do?

I don't know if I have anything to say.

You know, I was thinking.

No president, no professor, no priest ever had the power

to get people alone in a dark room watching lights on the wall.

Hi. I'm not here to say goodbye.

I'm never going to say goodbye.

But I am here

because I miss you.

I miss you so much, I can't stand to think about it.

See, I'm the little sister

and you're the big brother.

So I... I don't know how to live

as the little sister with my big brother gone.

I don't know how to move on in this life

without you. I don't want to...

I don't want to get married and not have you there.

I don't want to have kids and not have them know their uncle.

You were supposed to be there.

You were the best brother that I ever could have asked for.

I don't know if I told you that enough.

I don't know if I ever told you that.

I was the lucky one.

I love you.

The great economist John Mauldin observed the problem

with the terrorists and shooters is more than regulation.

It's more than religion.

It's that these people think and feel

that they love death and destruction more than life and creation.

The Santa Barbara shooter murdered the women who he wrote he wanted to love.

The problem of the attacker

of not understanding why they're doing what they're doing

becomes the problem of the victim.

So I propose we change some things.

We should change mental health to mental education.

We need to understand why we're doing what we're doing.

I want to know where someone got their legal education.

I want to know where someone got their medical education.

Why have we no infrastructure to figure out our mental education?

I think that's the best step we have in stopping the next shooter.

And giving some strength to the survivors everywhere.

Because I think hope is important,

I wanted to share with you the last bit of an email I wrote.

After the shooting,

I had so many calls that I couldn't keep telling the story, so I sat down

and wrote out what had happened inside and what I was thinking

and sent it to everyone.

And as I was reading it last night,

I was amazed that seventy two hours after this happened,

it still resonates with me how lucky I am to be able

to stand here in front of you and anywhere every single day.

So this is what I wrote.

I don't know my imagination helped us make it out alive and unhurt,

but it helped me in the moment

and it helped me in the moments since then when my mind wanders to scary places.

So I'm choosing to walk away

from this in a way that I think would make my grandpa proud.

I choose not to be terrified.

I choose to allow this experience and feeling in my belly

to continually motivate me to be more of the person who I want to be.

I will continue to create.

I will endeavor to inspire.

I will treat people in the way they should be treated,

regardless of how they treat me.

I will wrestle with my dogs and make jokes with my friends.

And I'll give the world as much love as I have in my heart,

because that's what feels best to me.

Thank you.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hello.

Hi.

Hello.