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1
00:00:04,887 --> 00:00:07,560
Jeannie? Jeannie, you ready?
2
00:00:07,727 --> 00:00:09,877
Hey, we're gonna be late
for the ball game.
3
00:00:10,407 --> 00:00:11,840
Okay, let's--
4
00:00:12,007 --> 00:00:13,804
ls that how you dress
to go to a ball game?
5
00:00:13,967 --> 00:00:16,162
Oh, no, master.
This is how l dress to be married.
6
00:00:16,327 --> 00:00:18,158
Well, who are you gonna marry,
Sandy Koufax?
7
00:00:18,487 --> 00:00:20,842
-No, you, master.
-Now, Jeannie...
8
00:00:21,007 --> 00:00:23,362
...we've been through all this before.
l can't marry you.
9
00:00:23,727 --> 00:00:26,321
-But you said you care for me.
-l do. l do.
10
00:00:26,487 --> 00:00:29,365
l think you're the most
wonderful woman l've ever met.
11
00:00:29,567 --> 00:00:33,116
-You're adorable.
-Well, then there's no problem.
12
00:00:34,407 --> 00:00:37,205
We are gathered here today to
join this man and this woman--
13
00:00:37,367 --> 00:00:38,686
Now, hold it. Hold it. Hold it.
14
00:00:38,847 --> 00:00:40,997
We're gathered here today
to go to a baseball game.
15
00:00:41,167 --> 00:00:43,522
Jeannie, get rid of him.
l don't have a ticket for him.
16
00:00:44,287 --> 00:00:47,563
lf you care for me so much,
why is it so difficult to say '' l do?''
17
00:00:47,767 --> 00:00:49,485
Well, it's not difficult.
lt's impossible.
18
00:00:49,687 --> 00:00:51,200
Well, Roger wishes to marry me.
19
00:00:51,407 --> 00:00:53,682
All right, fine.
Then marry Roger.
20
00:00:54,287 --> 00:00:55,561
Now wait a minute. Jeannie.
21
00:00:55,727 --> 00:00:57,445
Jeannie, l'm sorry.
l didn't mean that.
22
00:00:57,607 --> 00:00:59,199
Jeannie, l was only joking.
23
00:01:54,087 --> 00:01:56,965
There's only one man I love.
John.
24
00:01:57,127 --> 00:01:59,925
But you've told me thatJohn doesn't want to marry you.
25
00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:03,682
That's why I've come to you.I need your advice, Mother.
26
00:02:03,847 --> 00:02:06,407
On the other hand,there is a man you do love...
27
00:02:06,567 --> 00:02:08,478
...but who doesn'twant to marry you.
28
00:02:08,647 --> 00:02:10,877
What am I going to do,Mother, dear?
29
00:02:11,087 --> 00:02:13,078
Oh, yes. What are we
going to do?
30
00:02:13,247 --> 00:02:15,522
Susan, you did the right thingto come to your mother.
31
00:02:15,687 --> 00:02:18,963
There's only one way to gethim to propose to you.
32
00:02:19,127 --> 00:02:21,038
Tune in at the same time
tomorrow...
33
00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:24,677
...and learn what Susan's motheradvises her to do.
34
00:02:28,527 --> 00:02:31,360
Mother. Of course.
35
00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:33,882
This is a time when
a girl needs her mother.
36
00:02:37,447 --> 00:02:40,200
-Mama!
-Oh, little dove!
37
00:02:40,407 --> 00:02:42,079
My darling, darling child.
38
00:02:42,247 --> 00:02:44,363
lt's so good to see you again.
39
00:02:44,527 --> 00:02:47,280
Two thousand years
and not one letter.
40
00:02:47,447 --> 00:02:49,915
Well, l have been busy.
41
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,440
Children.
42
00:02:51,607 --> 00:02:55,316
Mama, l'm in love with my master,
and l wish to marry him.
43
00:02:55,487 --> 00:02:57,842
Can he support thee?
What does he do for a living?
44
00:02:58,047 --> 00:02:59,400
He is an astronaut.
45
00:02:59,567 --> 00:03:02,035
An astronaut? What is that?
46
00:03:02,207 --> 00:03:04,880
Well, they strap him in
this giant bird they call a missile...
47
00:03:05,047 --> 00:03:07,845
...and he goes up into the sky,
and around and around the earth...
48
00:03:08,007 --> 00:03:09,281
...for days without stopping.
49
00:03:09,447 --> 00:03:11,961
And sometimes
he walks in space.
50
00:03:12,127 --> 00:03:13,924
Thou could not
marry a doctor?
51
00:03:14,887 --> 00:03:18,004
Well, l am not in love
with a doctor, Mama.
52
00:03:18,967 --> 00:03:21,606
Oh, l need your advice.
53
00:03:21,767 --> 00:03:23,359
My master does not
want to marry me...
54
00:03:23,527 --> 00:03:25,518
...but his friend Roger does.
55
00:03:25,727 --> 00:03:28,685
Then marry his friend Roger.
You are not getting any younger.
56
00:03:28,887 --> 00:03:31,640
Well, l--
l like Roger, but--
57
00:03:31,847 --> 00:03:34,759
You brought me back for advice,
l will give it to thee.
58
00:03:39,367 --> 00:03:42,598
Tell this Roger you are
going to marry him.
59
00:03:42,767 --> 00:03:44,405
Oh, but that would be dishonest.
60
00:03:44,567 --> 00:03:47,923
Show me a woman who is honest
and l will show you an old maid.
61
00:03:48,087 --> 00:03:49,964
Do not worry, dear one.
62
00:03:50,167 --> 00:03:52,078
Thou wilt not marry Roger.
63
00:03:52,287 --> 00:03:55,404
Your astronaut will come to his senses
and marry you himself.
64
00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:57,364
Do you really think
this will come to pass?
65
00:03:57,567 --> 00:03:59,159
That is how
l got your father.
66
00:04:31,447 --> 00:04:34,917
-Good evening, master.
-Oh, hi, Jeannie.
67
00:04:35,447 --> 00:04:37,278
Oh, thanks.
68
00:04:38,047 --> 00:04:39,685
You worked late tonight, master.
69
00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:42,361
-Did you have a hard day?
-A bone-crusher.
70
00:04:43,447 --> 00:04:44,641
Poor master.
71
00:04:44,887 --> 00:04:47,003
Here. Come over here
and be comfortable.
72
00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:48,964
Lie down.
73
00:04:49,407 --> 00:04:51,682
Put your feet up.
74
00:04:52,047 --> 00:04:54,515
And here is your newspaper.
75
00:04:54,687 --> 00:04:59,158
And here's the rest
of your martini.
76
00:05:00,487 --> 00:05:02,637
-Thanks, Jeannie.
-l've made a special dish...
77
00:05:02,807 --> 00:05:06,038
...for your dinner. You'll never guess
what l have waiting in the kitchen.
78
00:05:06,447 --> 00:05:09,120
-Your mother.
-Well, yes.
79
00:05:09,327 --> 00:05:11,079
Your mother!
You can't be serious!
80
00:05:11,247 --> 00:05:12,726
-Yes--
-What are you talking about?
81
00:05:12,887 --> 00:05:14,923
l can't even explain you,
much less your mother.
82
00:05:15,087 --> 00:05:16,679
She will only be here for a few days.
83
00:05:16,847 --> 00:05:19,315
l don't care if she's here
for a few hours. Send her back!
84
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,523
She doesn't eat much,
and l'll take care of her.
85
00:05:21,687 --> 00:05:24,247
You can't even
take care of yourself.
86
00:05:27,167 --> 00:05:29,727
Oh, master,
l am so sorry.
87
00:05:30,607 --> 00:05:33,121
l know you must find this
a little strange.
88
00:05:33,287 --> 00:05:34,879
Strange? No. No.
89
00:05:35,047 --> 00:05:36,321
lt's not strange at all...
90
00:05:36,487 --> 00:05:38,557
...falling over a sheep
in your own living room.
91
00:05:38,727 --> 00:05:41,195
No, l don't think it's strange.
Come on.
92
00:05:42,087 --> 00:05:43,839
Take your hands off
that sheep, infidel.
93
00:05:44,007 --> 00:05:45,360
lt is for the wedding feast.
94
00:05:45,527 --> 00:05:47,199
The wedding feast?
The wedding feast?
95
00:05:47,367 --> 00:05:50,643
-Did you tell her we're getting married?
-Certainly not. That would be a lie.
96
00:05:50,807 --> 00:05:53,196
-That's right.
-Because l'm not marrying you.
97
00:05:53,367 --> 00:05:54,959
-That's right.
-l'm going to marry Roger.
98
00:05:55,127 --> 00:05:57,436
Gonna marry Roger.
You're-- You're not serious.
99
00:05:57,647 --> 00:05:59,205
-Well, l--
-Of course she is serious.
100
00:05:59,367 --> 00:06:01,835
-Of course l am serious.
-Yeah, but you can't marry Roger.
101
00:06:02,007 --> 00:06:03,281
And why not? He loves her.
102
00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:05,005
Well, yes. Why not?
He loves me.
103
00:06:05,167 --> 00:06:07,317
Because-- Because l'd
miss you, that's why.
104
00:06:07,487 --> 00:06:10,604
Oh, and l would miss thee too.
105
00:06:11,607 --> 00:06:14,360
-Then you're not gonna marry Roger?
-The sheep is already here.
106
00:06:14,887 --> 00:06:17,003
Perhaps you can think
of another solution.
107
00:06:17,167 --> 00:06:20,762
-How about lamb chops for dinner?
-l will marry him.
108
00:06:20,927 --> 00:06:23,885
l wouldn't put that wedding dress
back on just yet if l were you.
109
00:06:24,087 --> 00:06:25,361
Roger's pretty unpredictable.
110
00:06:25,527 --> 00:06:28,166
As a matter of fact, around the base
he's known as ''Old Fickle.''
111
00:06:28,327 --> 00:06:30,238
Fickle!
112
00:06:31,687 --> 00:06:34,406
Oh, Mama, l think it is working.
He is jealous.
113
00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:37,320
-What shall l do next?
-That does not worry me, little pigeon.
114
00:06:37,487 --> 00:06:40,126
What worries me is
what he will do next.
115
00:06:40,807 --> 00:06:44,117
-Hi, Roge. What's the good word?
-The good word is ''yes.''
116
00:06:44,287 --> 00:06:46,039
l ran into Jeannie,
popped the question...
117
00:06:46,207 --> 00:06:47,959
...and she said she would
marry me. Me!
118
00:06:48,127 --> 00:06:49,799
Did she really?
Well, congratulations.
119
00:06:49,967 --> 00:06:52,162
From now on, it's
marriage-a-go-go.
120
00:06:52,647 --> 00:06:55,036
-Couldn't happen to a finer guy.
-We're meeting for lunch.
121
00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:56,481
We're going over our plans.
122
00:06:56,647 --> 00:06:58,478
Say, l'll bet her parents
were delirious...
123
00:06:58,647 --> 00:07:00,877
...when they found out Jeannie
got a catch like you.
124
00:07:01,047 --> 00:07:03,481
Well, l--
l haven't met her parents yet.
125
00:07:03,687 --> 00:07:07,919
-They're out of town, huh?
-Well, l don't know. l suppose so. lt's--
126
00:07:08,127 --> 00:07:10,516
Where are they when you pick
Jeannie up at her house?
127
00:07:10,727 --> 00:07:12,877
Well, l've never been to
Jeannie's house before.
128
00:07:13,647 --> 00:07:14,921
Well, where do you meet?
129
00:07:15,527 --> 00:07:17,040
ln front of the public library.
130
00:07:17,247 --> 00:07:18,566
Well, she must have a house.
131
00:07:18,727 --> 00:07:21,400
Or your gonna be married
at the return book counter.
132
00:07:23,247 --> 00:07:24,521
Until you mentioned it...
133
00:07:24,687 --> 00:07:27,201
...l never really gave her parents
or her home a thought.
134
00:07:27,367 --> 00:07:30,757
Well, parents, homes,
what's the difference?
135
00:07:30,927 --> 00:07:33,202
The important thing is
you love her.
136
00:07:33,367 --> 00:07:34,720
-That's right.
-Right.
137
00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:37,606
You'll have plenty of opportunity
to get to know her parents...
138
00:07:37,767 --> 00:07:39,086
...once they move in with you.
139
00:07:39,287 --> 00:07:42,518
-Move in?
-You know, when they come to visit.
140
00:07:42,687 --> 00:07:45,155
Oh, boy, all you have to do
is take a look at that girl...
141
00:07:45,327 --> 00:07:48,444
...and know that her parents have to be
fine, intelligent people.
142
00:07:48,607 --> 00:07:52,725
No, she wasn't brought up by
convicts or counterfeiters, you know.
143
00:07:52,887 --> 00:07:55,196
l think fine, intelligent people
would like to meet...
144
00:07:55,367 --> 00:07:57,005
...the man their daughter's
gonna marry.
145
00:07:57,167 --> 00:07:59,397
Yeah. Well...
146
00:07:59,567 --> 00:08:03,037
...there's all kinds of good reasons
why they haven't met you yet.
147
00:08:03,207 --> 00:08:04,959
Well, for instance....
148
00:08:06,727 --> 00:08:08,080
No.
149
00:08:08,767 --> 00:08:12,157
Or they might have been....
150
00:08:13,487 --> 00:08:16,718
Well, no, l'll tell you what.
lt's possible, it's just....
151
00:08:17,967 --> 00:08:20,959
The important thing is
you're marrying a wonderful girl.
152
00:08:21,127 --> 00:08:23,846
-That's the important thing.
-Yes. l'll see you later, Roge.
153
00:08:24,007 --> 00:08:27,966
Maybe we'll get a chance to crack
a bottle of champagne tonight, huh?
154
00:08:32,527 --> 00:08:35,724
Well, there are many good reasons
why l haven't met her parents.
155
00:08:35,887 --> 00:08:38,037
You know, they could've
been out of--
156
00:08:38,207 --> 00:08:39,845
Probably--
Well, they are probably....
157
00:08:40,007 --> 00:08:42,441
lt's very easy to....
158
00:08:44,887 --> 00:08:47,082
Convicts and counterfeiters?
159
00:08:48,007 --> 00:08:49,281
l do not understand it.
160
00:08:49,447 --> 00:08:51,836
All during lunch
Roger kept insisting.
161
00:08:52,007 --> 00:08:54,601
How can l invite him to my house
when l do not have one?
162
00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:57,679
And worse yet, you do not
have parents either.
163
00:08:57,847 --> 00:09:00,202
l have you, Mama.
And l could send for Papa.
164
00:09:00,367 --> 00:09:02,403
l would be proud
to have Roger meet you.
165
00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:04,319
No, no, little one.
166
00:09:04,487 --> 00:09:06,364
We are peasants
from the old country.
167
00:09:06,527 --> 00:09:09,644
One look at us,
and there goeth the ball game.
168
00:09:09,807 --> 00:09:11,365
Where did you
learn that expression?
169
00:09:11,527 --> 00:09:14,519
From watching that box
you call television.
170
00:09:16,367 --> 00:09:19,040
l know what you need.
171
00:09:19,527 --> 00:09:22,439
The American mama
you see on television.
172
00:09:22,607 --> 00:09:25,644
The one who keeps comparing
hands with her daughter.
173
00:09:25,807 --> 00:09:28,162
-You think so, Mama?
-l'm certain of it.
174
00:09:28,327 --> 00:09:32,320
And for the father, get yourself
that nice fellow who--
175
00:09:32,487 --> 00:09:35,559
Who seems to have so much
trouble with his sinuses.
176
00:09:35,727 --> 00:09:39,640
Mama, l'm so glad
l sent for you.
177
00:09:39,807 --> 00:09:43,083
And l know just where l'm going
to get the house too.
178
00:09:53,607 --> 00:09:54,881
Oh, there is my master.
179
00:10:02,927 --> 00:10:04,485
Well, Mama, how's
every little thing?
180
00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:06,717
You dare to show
your face here?
181
00:10:06,887 --> 00:10:08,843
Look who's talking.
lt's my house.
182
00:10:09,007 --> 00:10:11,441
l suppose it was not you
who persuaded Roger to insist...
183
00:10:11,607 --> 00:10:14,201
...upon meeting my daughter's
parents and seeing her home?
184
00:10:14,367 --> 00:10:17,086
Well, l-- l suppose l did
drop a hint or two.
185
00:10:17,247 --> 00:10:20,159
ls Jeannie terribly disappointed
about her marriage being called off?
186
00:10:20,327 --> 00:10:22,158
Wait and see.
187
00:10:26,407 --> 00:10:27,806
-Yes?
-Oh, hello, sir.
188
00:10:27,967 --> 00:10:31,039
l can only stay a moment. l just
want to say hello to my new neighbour.
189
00:10:31,207 --> 00:10:32,640
Oh, you bought a house
around here?
190
00:10:32,807 --> 00:10:35,799
Oh, not a house. The vacant lot
across the street from you.
191
00:10:35,967 --> 00:10:38,401
Mrs. Bellows and l are gonna
start building very shortly.
192
00:10:38,567 --> 00:10:40,637
Well, you can always borrow
a cup of sugar here.
193
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:45,835
May the vultures descend
and pick your bones.
194
00:10:48,767 --> 00:10:50,041
My housekeeper.
195
00:10:50,207 --> 00:10:52,562
We had a little argument
this morning about her salary.
196
00:10:52,727 --> 00:10:55,685
She wanted a raise, and l wouldn't
give it to her, you know.
197
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:04,637
'' May the vultures descend
and pick your bones.''
198
00:11:06,287 --> 00:11:07,959
Well, she's a poor loser.
199
00:11:24,647 --> 00:11:27,923
And l was worried about
moving in with a hamster.
200
00:11:39,047 --> 00:11:40,844
Oh! Hi, Jeannie.
201
00:11:41,007 --> 00:11:43,362
How was your lunch with Roger?
202
00:11:43,527 --> 00:11:45,438
He's very anxious
to meet my parents.
203
00:11:45,607 --> 00:11:47,199
Oh, well, that's--
That's too bad.
204
00:11:47,367 --> 00:11:49,927
So he's going to meet Mama.
205
00:11:50,567 --> 00:11:52,239
And Papa too.
206
00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:55,797
-Your papa's here too?
-Oh, not yet.
207
00:11:55,967 --> 00:11:59,323
Captain Healey is going
to meet them at my house.
208
00:11:59,487 --> 00:12:01,557
This is your house.
l mean, this is your house.
209
00:12:01,727 --> 00:12:03,797
Oh, not today, master.
210
00:12:03,967 --> 00:12:06,162
l have my own home.
211
00:12:12,647 --> 00:12:14,046
Yes?
212
00:12:14,527 --> 00:12:16,483
Oh, hi, Roge.
213
00:12:17,367 --> 00:12:20,564
What do you mean, you're gonna
meet her parents at her home?
214
00:12:20,727 --> 00:12:23,241
Oh, no, no, no,
No, l'm not upset.
215
00:12:23,407 --> 00:12:25,363
l'm not upset at all.
216
00:12:26,007 --> 00:12:29,044
Hey, listen, where did you say
she lives?
217
00:12:29,807 --> 00:12:31,763
Across the street
from my house?
218
00:12:34,767 --> 00:12:37,281
Well, that's impossible.
219
00:12:37,447 --> 00:12:39,915
Well, there's a vacant lot
across the street.
220
00:12:55,047 --> 00:12:57,880
Listen, Roger, when l say there's
a vacant lot across the street...
221
00:12:58,047 --> 00:13:00,038
...l mean there's a house on it.
222
00:13:08,407 --> 00:13:09,760
Jeannie.
223
00:13:09,927 --> 00:13:11,963
Jeannie.
Jeannie, where are you?
224
00:13:12,127 --> 00:13:14,766
Jeannie? Jeannie! Now, you--
225
00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:17,077
You take that house
right out of here.
226
00:13:17,247 --> 00:13:18,999
You're not gonna
get away with this!
227
00:13:19,167 --> 00:13:20,759
Jeannie!
228
00:13:28,167 --> 00:13:32,479
Jeannie. Jeannie, open up.
Jeannie, come on.
229
00:13:32,647 --> 00:13:34,365
Take this house
down this minute. Now--
230
00:13:34,527 --> 00:13:38,076
-Are you expected?
-Oh, boy.
231
00:13:38,247 --> 00:13:39,521
Jeannie! Jeannie!
232
00:13:39,687 --> 00:13:44,477
lf you will leave your card,
l will tell my daughter you called.
233
00:13:44,647 --> 00:13:46,285
Jeannie, where are you?
234
00:13:57,727 --> 00:14:00,116
Good afternoon, Mr. Nelson.
235
00:14:00,287 --> 00:14:03,324
Teresa, will you please pour
Mr. Nelson a cup of tea?
236
00:14:04,527 --> 00:14:06,563
Teresa?
237
00:14:06,727 --> 00:14:09,116
Jeannie, l want you to stop
this nonsense, and l mean it.
238
00:14:09,287 --> 00:14:10,720
l want you to
come home right now.
239
00:14:10,887 --> 00:14:12,843
l cannot ask you to stay very long,
Mr. Nelson.
240
00:14:13,007 --> 00:14:15,282
My fiancé is coming to meet
Mummy and Daddy.
241
00:14:15,447 --> 00:14:16,960
Mummy and Daddy?
242
00:14:17,127 --> 00:14:18,879
You whipped up
some phony parents too?
243
00:14:19,047 --> 00:14:20,958
The kind you see on television.
244
00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:22,526
lt was Mama's suggestion.
245
00:14:22,727 --> 00:14:25,446
What do you think you're doing?
You'll never get away with this.
246
00:14:25,607 --> 00:14:27,359
l don't want any tea.
l don't want any tea.
247
00:14:27,527 --> 00:14:29,563
You must calm yourself, master.
You're very upset.
248
00:14:29,727 --> 00:14:31,001
You're darn right l'm upset.
249
00:14:31,167 --> 00:14:33,806
And l have every reason
in the world to be upset.
250
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,963
lt's a large lot, general.
Across the street...
251
00:14:36,127 --> 00:14:38,277
...from Captain Nelson's house.
Oh, really?
252
00:14:41,527 --> 00:14:43,597
lt's Dr. Bellows and General Hadley.
253
00:14:43,767 --> 00:14:46,235
They're coming down the street.
They're coming right here.
254
00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:48,238
Oh, well, l will be
delighted to meet them.
255
00:14:48,407 --> 00:14:50,716
Oh, no, you--
No, you don't understand.
256
00:14:50,887 --> 00:14:52,559
You see--
257
00:14:54,087 --> 00:14:56,555
Dr. Bellows, he just bought this lot.
258
00:14:56,727 --> 00:15:00,037
And he knows. He just--
He knows there's no house on it.
259
00:15:00,647 --> 00:15:02,126
And he's gonna want me to explain.
260
00:15:02,287 --> 00:15:04,243
And there is no explanation.
261
00:15:04,407 --> 00:15:06,523
Jeannie, do you want me
to plead insanity?
262
00:15:06,967 --> 00:15:09,765
Please, master. Relax.
263
00:15:09,927 --> 00:15:13,124
l would never do
anything to hurt you.
264
00:15:22,447 --> 00:15:24,517
Good afternoon, Captain Nelson.
265
00:15:25,767 --> 00:15:27,359
Good afternoon, General Hadley.
266
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:31,566
Captain, do you always drink tea
in the middle of a vacant lot?
267
00:15:31,767 --> 00:15:33,564
Well, sir, it was such
a lovely afternoon...
268
00:15:33,727 --> 00:15:37,276
...l thought l'd have my tea out here
among the wildflowers.
269
00:15:38,847 --> 00:15:40,917
Do you do this often,
Captain Nelson?
270
00:15:41,127 --> 00:15:43,846
When l want to commune
with nature, sir...
271
00:15:44,007 --> 00:15:46,282
-...like Thoreau.
-Thoreau?
272
00:15:46,447 --> 00:15:49,086
Yes, yes.
He used to do it all the time.
273
00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:58,084
Well, l'd better go home
and tend my sheep.
274
00:16:02,247 --> 00:16:03,680
Sheep?
275
00:16:03,847 --> 00:16:05,644
l'd keep an eye on that man, doctor.
276
00:16:05,807 --> 00:16:07,559
Oh, l do, sir. All the time.
277
00:16:07,727 --> 00:16:09,365
He's done a number
of strange things...
278
00:16:09,527 --> 00:16:12,439
...but l've never caught him
weed-sitting before.
279
00:16:20,927 --> 00:16:23,725
Good evening, doctor. General.
280
00:16:23,887 --> 00:16:25,479
You're working late,
Captain Healey?
281
00:16:25,647 --> 00:16:27,558
Yes, l had a few
data reports to finish up.
282
00:16:27,727 --> 00:16:29,001
l've got a big night planned.
283
00:16:29,167 --> 00:16:30,885
l may be late
coming in tomorrow morning.
284
00:16:31,047 --> 00:16:33,038
Just see that Captain Nelson
is in before dawn.
285
00:16:33,207 --> 00:16:36,244
-He's been under quite a strain lately.
-l'm not seeing Captain Nelson.
286
00:16:36,407 --> 00:16:38,125
l'm going to my fiancée's for dinner.
287
00:16:38,287 --> 00:16:40,596
But l might see him.
He lives right across the street.
288
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,439
Across the street?
289
00:16:42,647 --> 00:16:45,445
-No house there. That's my vacant lot.
-lt can't be a vacant lot.
290
00:16:45,607 --> 00:16:47,677
Well, it is when people
aren't drinking tea on it.
291
00:16:47,847 --> 00:16:49,280
The number is 1 1 40 Oak Road.
292
00:16:49,447 --> 00:16:51,881
Well, general, good doctor.
293
00:16:52,047 --> 00:16:54,402
-Have a nice evening.
-Eleven-forty?
294
00:16:54,567 --> 00:16:57,001
That's the address of my property.
295
00:16:57,167 --> 00:16:59,806
He's having dinner in a vacant lot.
296
00:17:00,287 --> 00:17:02,243
Better keep an eye on him too.
297
00:17:02,407 --> 00:17:05,160
One weed-sitter in
the space program is enough.
298
00:17:08,687 --> 00:17:09,961
There we are.
299
00:17:10,127 --> 00:17:12,322
Now, after Roger has met
your parents...
300
00:17:12,487 --> 00:17:13,761
...and you have had dinner...
301
00:17:13,927 --> 00:17:16,157
...then sit in the chair
by the window with him.
302
00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:18,238
Why the chair
by the window, Mama?
303
00:17:18,407 --> 00:17:20,841
Because across the street
your master will be watching...
304
00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:23,157
...and be sick with jealousy.
305
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,641
-There's Roger.
-Good. Bring out your parents.
306
00:17:39,407 --> 00:17:42,638
-What do you think, Mama?
-There is something missing.
307
00:17:42,807 --> 00:17:46,322
But they look just like the people
on television commercials.
308
00:17:46,487 --> 00:17:48,842
She should have blonde hair.
309
00:17:53,527 --> 00:17:55,040
That's better.
310
00:17:55,727 --> 00:17:58,400
He should look more like
he has money.
311
00:18:02,527 --> 00:18:03,801
What do you think?
312
00:18:03,967 --> 00:18:06,083
l think you are ready for Roger.
313
00:18:06,247 --> 00:18:07,919
Oh, yes.
314
00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:15,836
-Hi, Jeannie.
-Good evening, Roger.
315
00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:17,998
l would like you
to meet my parents.
316
00:18:18,167 --> 00:18:20,362
Mummy and Daddy,
this is Roger.
317
00:18:20,527 --> 00:18:23,599
Hello. l've been looking forward
to meeting you two for quite some time.
318
00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:25,803
When my daughter told me
she was engaged, l said:
319
00:18:25,967 --> 00:18:29,039
'' Darling, blondes do have
more fun.''
320
00:18:29,247 --> 00:18:31,602
My wife used to be
a ratty brunette.
321
00:18:32,127 --> 00:18:36,245
ls your hair streaked
with dingy, unattractive gray?
322
00:18:36,447 --> 00:18:37,721
Mine was.
323
00:18:37,887 --> 00:18:41,323
But then l learned
about Streakaway.
324
00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:44,765
Now l can't resist
asking her to dance.
325
00:18:44,967 --> 00:18:47,959
-Would you?
-Love to.
326
00:18:50,927 --> 00:18:52,838
Do you like
my mummy and daddy?
327
00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:55,316
Yeah, they're a very, very
romantic couple.
328
00:18:55,487 --> 00:18:58,445
l was just telling your daughter
how much in love you two seem to be.
329
00:18:58,607 --> 00:19:01,041
Why wouldn't l be?
Her hands are as soft now...
330
00:19:01,207 --> 00:19:03,198
...as they were
when we were first married.
331
00:19:03,367 --> 00:19:06,200
l never use any harsh detergents.
332
00:19:06,407 --> 00:19:09,877
My daughter and l have used the same
soap to wash dishes for years...
333
00:19:10,087 --> 00:19:12,396
...and my hands
are as soft as hers.
334
00:19:12,607 --> 00:19:15,804
Would you care to make
the comparison test?
335
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:18,559
They're lovely. Both hands.
336
00:19:18,727 --> 00:19:21,525
Have you noticed
they both have lovely smiles too?
337
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:25,959
l'm not afraid to smile anymore
since l started using Grippo.
338
00:19:26,167 --> 00:19:29,398
Now, l don't have to be afraid
my dentures will fall out.
339
00:19:29,607 --> 00:19:31,484
Let us all sit down
and get acquainted.
340
00:19:40,087 --> 00:19:43,124
Why don't you sit here
beside Jeannie?
341
00:19:43,727 --> 00:19:46,002
Won't that be a little crowded?
342
00:19:46,207 --> 00:19:47,686
We're not afraid
of being in crowds.
343
00:19:47,847 --> 00:19:49,121
We're protected for 32 hours.
344
00:19:49,287 --> 00:19:51,517
-l use the roll-on.
-l use the spray.
345
00:19:52,167 --> 00:19:53,964
l could use a martini.
346
00:19:55,767 --> 00:19:58,042
Here you are.
347
00:20:39,247 --> 00:20:42,398
-Dr. Bellows.
-Great Scott. Captain Nelson, it's you.
348
00:20:43,487 --> 00:20:45,842
lf it wasn't you,
that would mean...
349
00:20:46,007 --> 00:20:48,999
-...that l was on the wrong street.
-l beg your pardon, sir.
350
00:20:49,167 --> 00:20:51,635
Now, captain, since both of us
are basically scientists...
351
00:20:51,807 --> 00:20:53,399
...we know it's entirely possible...
352
00:20:53,567 --> 00:20:55,364
...with modern methods
of prefabrication...
353
00:20:55,527 --> 00:20:57,006
...to build a house in 20 minutes.
354
00:20:57,167 --> 00:20:58,725
You believe that,
don't you, captain?
355
00:20:58,887 --> 00:21:00,320
-No, sir.
-l don't either.
356
00:21:06,367 --> 00:21:10,246
lf you'll look across the street,
you'll see a house on my vacant lot.
357
00:21:10,407 --> 00:21:13,240
-What house is that, sir?
-Don't humour me, captain.
358
00:21:13,407 --> 00:21:16,922
When l tell you there's a house
across the street, l mean there's a--
359
00:21:17,087 --> 00:21:18,884
A vacant lot.
360
00:21:21,407 --> 00:21:24,319
With Captain Healey
sitting in the middle of it.
361
00:21:24,487 --> 00:21:26,682
Captain Healey, sir?
362
00:21:37,407 --> 00:21:40,797
l think l'll go home
and lie down.
363
00:21:41,407 --> 00:21:42,726
That might be best, sir.
364
00:21:42,887 --> 00:21:47,085
And everything you've said tonight will,
of course, remain strictly between us.
365
00:22:04,327 --> 00:22:06,204
Thank you, Jeannie.
366
00:22:07,847 --> 00:22:09,485
l knew you wouldn't
let me down.
367
00:22:09,647 --> 00:22:12,798
-You are pleased with me, master?
-l certainly am pleased with you.
368
00:22:12,967 --> 00:22:14,958
Well, then may l invite
a friend over?
369
00:22:15,127 --> 00:22:18,244
Yeah, you can invite over
anybody you want to.
370
00:22:20,407 --> 00:22:21,920
We are gathered here today...
371
00:22:22,087 --> 00:22:26,763
...to join this man and this woman
in holy matrimony.
372
00:22:33,047 --> 00:22:35,322
Oh, good morning, Roge.
How are you feeling?
373
00:22:35,487 --> 00:22:37,045
Terrible.
374
00:22:37,567 --> 00:22:39,523
Oh, boy. Terrible.
375
00:22:39,687 --> 00:22:42,520
-What a night.
-Yeah? Well, what happened?
376
00:22:42,687 --> 00:22:44,405
Did you meet Jeannie's
mother and father?
377
00:22:44,567 --> 00:22:47,559
Yeah, l met them, all right.
lt was like tuning into a commercial.
378
00:22:47,727 --> 00:22:51,037
Don't get me wrong. They were great.
You know, real backbone of America.
379
00:22:51,207 --> 00:22:53,437
What's so terrible about that?
380
00:22:53,607 --> 00:22:54,881
Me.
381
00:22:55,047 --> 00:22:56,639
Boy, l must have been
on liquid oxygen.
382
00:22:56,807 --> 00:22:58,763
You know, l got so smashed,
l blacked out...
383
00:22:58,927 --> 00:23:02,556
...wandered outside of the house,
and wound up in a vacant lot.
384
00:23:02,727 --> 00:23:04,080
-No.
-Yeah.
385
00:23:04,247 --> 00:23:05,919
Boy, she must really
be sore at me.
386
00:23:06,087 --> 00:23:08,885
l went back there to apologize
to her today, and she moved.
387
00:23:09,047 --> 00:23:10,924
l mean, she moved.
The whole house was gone.
388
00:23:12,167 --> 00:23:15,079
Now l'm gonna have to start
looking for her all over again.
389
00:23:15,247 --> 00:23:18,000
Well, good luck, Roge.
390
00:23:18,727 --> 00:23:20,558
Good luck. Yeah.
391
00:23:23,327 --> 00:23:25,887
Look, Tony, if you run across her...
392
00:23:26,047 --> 00:23:27,844
...maybe you could let me know,
if you....
393
00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:30,357
-Sure, Roge.
-Sure.
394
00:23:30,527 --> 00:23:32,324
lt's a....
31797
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