Original subtitles

The plane! The plane!

He likes sunflower seeds, you know?

Yes, I know. Uh, tell me, Tattoo,

how is your latest moneymaking scheme coming along?

Oh, very good. He's not biting anymore, and he's starting to talk.

Oh. Pepper, come here.

Look. Pick it up.

Come on. Pick it up. Pick it up.

Good boy. How did you like his trick, boss?

Well, it's a beginning.

But when you teach him to fold it and put it back, then you'll have something.

Smiles, everyone. Smiles.

Any famous people on board, boss?

There is indeed, Tattoo. Miss Shirley Russell. Who?

Shirley Russell, the star of two new,

very high-class European pictures...

The Scarlet Whip and Two Women in Bondage.

Never heard of them or her.

That's probably because the films were never really made.

But if we are going to fulfill Miss Russell's fantasy,

we have to convince certain people that she is an actress on the rise.

Why? What's her fantasy?

Hers is a dream shared by women the world over, Tattoo.

She wants a chance to become a movie star.

She's certainly good-looking enough.

She is indeed.

Ah! Mrs. Winnie MacLean,

heir to the Winnfield fortune,

and her husband of two days, Spencer MacLean.

With all that money, what's her fantasy?

Well, she believes they have come to Fantasy Island for her honeymoon.

But in actuality, it is Mr. Randolph's fantasy we are charged with fulfilling.

Mr. Randolph? But I thought you said that his name was Mr. MacLean?

Well, MacLean is the name he has been living under...

during the past 40 years ever since he went straight.

You see, in actuality, he is the notorious Spencer Randolph.

He was once the leader of the Strawberry Hill Gang.

The famous bank robbers?

The Robin Hoods of the Depression era.

Forty years ago when they broke up,

they made a pact never to try to contact each other again...

no matter what the circumstances.

But now, for his fantasy, Spence wants them together again for, uh, one last job.

They must be spread all over the world.

Not anymore, Tattoo.

Not anymore.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Oh, Miss Russell, I'm afraid you've made a mistake.

How so, Mr. Roarke? Uh, may I?

Tattoo.

Well, your official biography states...

that, uh, you maintain your lovely figure...

through, um, strict dieting.

You'll find the watercress very nourishing.

Nobody likes a fat movie star.

No, of course not.

Mr. Roarke, when do you think my fantasy can begin?

Your fans.

Shirley! Can I have your autograph, please? Please!

Thank you, Shirley!

Just sign here. I'll get everybody.

Thank you so much. Oh, sure.

Ah, Mrs. MacLean. Mr. Roarke.

Mr. MacLean. I hope you find your accommodations satisfactory.

Oh, I couldn't have asked for a nicer honeymoon cottage, Mr. Roarke,

or a nicer man to go with it.

How many times must I tell you, my love?

I'm not a nice man. Just a lucky one.

Here, here. Mr. Roarke, there you are.

- Am I too late for a tour of the island? - Not at all, Mr. Prentiss.

I don't believe it. Spence.

What an incredible coincidence. How you doing?

Okay. Tommy, I'd like you to meet my wife.

Hey, that's right. I heard you just got married.

Congratulations, Mrs. MacLean. You've got yourself quite a guy here.

I know. But please, call me Winnie.

All my friends do.

Then Winnie it is. I'm Tom Prentiss.

Did I hear you say something about a tour, Tom?

That sounds like a good idea. Spence? I think I'll pass, hon.

You go ahead.

I'd be more than honored to escort you on the tour. With your permission, of course.

Well, if Winnie can stand it, I guess I can.

Then I accept, Tom. Thank you.

See you soon. Mm-hmm.

Don't worry, Spence. I'll, uh, take good care of her.

Hmm. There's only one person he knows how to take care of... himself.

Not an uncommon trait, especially among blackmailers.

And this kid's the worst.

Mr. Roarke, I wanna thank you again for your help in getting him here.

Well, I must say, had the bait not been a million dollars,

my job might have been far more difficult.

Tell me, Mr. Roarke, my, uh...

The other part of my fantasy,

my old gang, have you been able to find any of them?

Oh, Mr. MacLean, if you're referring to Burt "Fingers" Lonagan...

your expert powder man... he is here and raring to go,

as is your acrobatic second-story man, Frank "Spider" Randall...

and the legendary Curtis "No Skids" Jackson,

the best wheelman in the business.

My old gang. You really got them here.

It'll be just like the good old days. I hope so, Mr. MacLean.

I certainly hope so.

Watch this.

All right, this is the law.

Put your hands where I can see 'em.

Barstool!

Oh, come on, you guys. Get up.

Come on. Take it easy. It's me! It's Spence!

You old polecat!

- That's old, baby! - Oh, come on.

I was only kiddin'.

Hey, puttin' on a little weight, eh? Oh, why not?

I don't have to scale any walls anymore.

I got him! I got him! I got him!

Hold it! Hold it! I got him!

It's Spence. What?

Spence! Spence...

Spence.

Oh, Spence. All of us together again,

just like old times.

Well, I sure hope so.

Hi, there. Wait a minute. Who are you?

Don't worry, honey. I'm Liz Perry from Publicity. Hey, boys, come on.

Bring those things in here. Courtesy of your producer, Arthur Gantman,

who also happens to be the head of the studio.

As you can see, he digs flowers. Oh, sorry.

No pun intended. I'm speechless.

Well, don't be. There isn't time.

You have wardrobe fittings and makeup tests...

and eight pages of dialogue to memorize before tomorrow morning.

Here's your script. Well, I'd better start memorizing.

Later. Right now, you have to get ready for the party.

Party?

The shindig that Arthur Gantman's throwing in your honor tonight.

And, honey, you have a date with Desmond Vaughn.

Not the Desmond Vaughn?

Didn't you know? He's your leading man on this flick.

No! But Desmond Vaughn...

He's my favorite movie star.

Oh, that Mr. Roarke thinks of everything. Oh, no.

What will I wear?

Like you just said, honey, that Mr. Roarke thinks of everything.

Oh! Somebody better pinch me to make sure I'm alive.

You know what amazes me? We all made it.

That we all survived. Yeah.

If you call driving a bus in Nicaragua surviving.

Well, it sure beats selling insurance in Laredo, Texas,

let me tell ya.

Try tending a milk bar in a nursery school...

filled with screaming kids.

I think we all miss the good old days. The excitement and all, huh?

You guys want excitement?

What would you say if I told you guys I had a job for ya?

Oh! A real important job.

Oh, you're puttin' us on.

I'm not puttin' you on. No kidding?

And this is not gonna be any pushover.

Well, what is it, Spence?

You, uh, remember Frank Prentiss?

Remember him? Still get nightmares...

thinking about that guy bustin' in, flashin' his badge.

The all-time crooked cop.

And his son turned out the same way,

only his racket is extortion.

And you're looking at his number one victim.

Oh, come on, Spence. Not you.

I'm afraid so.

What's he got on you, Spence?

Something his old man could never get...

A file full of records linking me to our last three jobs.

The kid's been bleeding me for the last two years.

Now he's giving me a chance to get it back.

What he wants this time around...

I'm not going to give him ever.

Oh, uh, yeah.

Wait till you see this.

This is a picture of my wife.

We just got married a couple of days ago.

Wow. She's a knockout, Spence.

Oh! Mm-hmm. Is she rich?

Uh... Yes.

She's rich, Burt. But, uh,

I-I love her,

and I don't want her to get hurt.

This rat... Prentiss... he's after her money too. Is that it?

He wants me to convince her...

to invest a million dollars in one of his bogus companies.

With the help of Mr. Roarke, I've lured him over here,

telling him that we will finalize the deal...

and make the exchange while I'm on my honeymoon.

What we've gotta do then is, uh, steal the file. Is that right?

That's the idea.

Well, it's been a long time,

but I'm with ya.

When do we get started?

Me too, Spence. Where do they keep this file?

Wellington Castle.

Constructed three years ago for a very special and expensive fantasy...

requested by one of our guests.

Mr. Prentiss chose it because of his special needs for security.

You mean he knew we were coming? Oh, no, no, no, no.

He knows nothing of yours or Mr. Randall or Mr. Jackson's presence.

But men of Mr. Prentiss's ilk...

usually have many enemies who can cause you...

to live with high walls and bodyguards.

What's the setup inside?

Oh, I'm sorry. Mr. Prentiss is my guest also.

And as such, I am obligated to ensure his privacy to whatever extent possible.

- I hope you understand. - Couldn't you even tell us where he's keeping the file?

Mr. MacLean,

your fantasy was to have your old gang reunited...

and your blackmailer made available.

I have lived up to my end of the bargain.

I'm afraid the rest is up to you.

Uh, looks tough.

But compared to what we put up with in the old days,

it'll be duck soup.

Piece of cake.

♪♪

Follow me. Where to?

That table over there. Excuse me. I'll be back.

Here she is, Mr. Gantman.

Prettier than her picture too. I'm Arthur Gantman. Welcome.

Oh, thank you for the flowers and everything, Mr. Gantman.

Don't mention it. Uh, Liz, you know how I hate these press functions.

- Can we hurry it along? - Okay, fellas, juice up your strobes.

Miss Russell and Mr. Gantman are about to sign the contract for Wayward Wife,

currently in production here on Fantasy Island.

Ladies first.

It is a real pleasure, Miss Russell.

Good night.

Good night.

Yeah? This is Spencer MacLean.

I wanna talk to Prentiss.

Okay. Come on in.

What can I get you, Spence? Scotch? Brandy?

Oh, let's not worry about the amenities, Prentiss.

You know why I came here.

I wanna see the file. Jumpin' the gun a bit, aren't you?

From my conversation with your wife this afternoon,

I had the impression you haven't even mentioned my proposal to her.

She'll hear about it soon enough.

But first, I wanna make sure that you came prepared to hold up your end of the deal.

Oh, Spence. I'm shattered.

Don't you trust me? You're stalling, Prentiss.

What's the matter?

You afraid that I might take it away from you if you show it to me?

You're living in the past, old man.

Get the file.

Satisfied? It's all here.

Good. Now it's your turn.

You've got 24 hours to deliver one million dollars.

Well, I could use a little more time. You

see, there are many things that I have to...

Come on, Spence.

I saw the way that old lady looked at you. Twenty-four hours.

I leave Fantasy Island tomorrow, midnight.

♪♪

I'm coming.

Who is it? Liz. And you're late.

Late? What do you mean? It's 5:00 in the morning.

And you're due in front of the camera in one hour.

Didn't you check your call sheet? What's a call sheet?

A piece of paper that says you're due in front of the camera in one hour.

But I stayed out until 2:00 in the morning,

and then I had to study my lines.

You still have to be on the set in an hour.

And before that, you have makeup and hairdressing and wardrobe.

All right. Just give me five minutes to get ready.

Honey, you've got two and a half.

Now after you finish shooting...

With a little luck, early... we'll schedule part of your portrait session.

But that means you're gonna have to meet with the fan club president...

and the newspaper people between scenes.

I really like this merry-go-round I'm on.

But when do I get some time for me?

All I can say is, it's gonna get worse before it gets better.

After all, you're a star.

It's so cold out here, those butterflies in my stomach have ice on their wings.

I never met an actress yet who wasn't nervous before her first scene.

Don't worry, honey. You are gonna be all right.

Okay, baby, this first scene's a snap.

Gloria's got a gun, and she's trying to kill you.

The two of you fight for that gun.

The fight carries you over to the edge, and you both fall in the water.

You got that?

Well, I don't know too much about making movies.

But you know that fall off the pier?

Don't you use stunt people for that? Not in my flicks, baby.

When Vince Gregory directs, everything's for real.

Places, everybody. Okay, this'll be a picture.

Quiet! And roll 'em.

Scene 48, take one. All right. Action.

In the pond!

Looked good to me.

Good? It's gotta be perfect.

Okay, dry 'em off and we go again.

All right, folks. One more time, please. Quickly now. One more time.

Thank you.

Scene 48, take four.

Action.

All right. A little slow. We'll have to do it again.

Scene 48, take seven.

Action.

Cut. Cut! Come on, girls!

We need some fire, electricity. Whoa!

Mr. Gregory, this is the eleventh take.

Will you please tell me what I'm doing wrong?

Nothin'. You're great, baby.

Well, then why so many retakes?

Because I don't feel it yet.

Now don't worry, honey. We'll get there.

You wanted to be in show biz.

Places, everybody.

Scene 48, take... take 11?

Action.

And cut it. We'll have to do it again.

The safe is right here, in the basement.

The wall is solid all the way around.

So I figure we could go over it here.

What about the gate? Wired.

I could take care of it if we had time.

So all that's left is the getaway.

After you drop us off,

fling around to the main gate and wait for us there.

- Now you know where that is, right? - Sure.

It's right, uh, there.

That's the upstairs bathroom.

- Don't you have any glasses? - They only give me headaches.

I only use them for reading. Driving's never been a problem.

For you, maybe. But what about all those poor suckers you kept running over?

At least I don't let my body deteriorate.

All right, all right, you guys.

Now, if we wanna pull this off, we've got work to do.

Work? What kind of work?

I figured we were a little bit rusty,

so I asked Mr. Roarke to set up a few exercises for us.

Oh, Spence, give us a break.

This is a practice run for your getaway.

Gentlemen, will you take your positions?

- Are you ready? - Uh-huh.

Go.

Open the... Hey!

Open the door! Open the door!

All right, come on, you clumsy idiot!

Hurry up, will you, now?

Let's get this...

Let's get out of here! Now what have you done?

What happened? Move, move, move!

Let's get out of here, Spence.

- What's he doin' out there now? - What's the matter now?

We've gotta get movin'!

- Come on. Let's go without him. - Some getaway.

Tattoo!

Are you ready?

Go.

Oh!

Mr. Lonagan? Yes?

The switch. The what?

The switch is not on. The switch has nothing to do with...

Are you thawed out yet? Just about.

I hope I don't come down with pneumonia in the middle of the picture.

May I come in? Please.

Good afternoon, ladies. Hi.

I think, uh, Miss Russell, you know this gentleman.

- Hi, babe. - Bill. How did you get here?

Oh, I took the liberty of inviting him, Miss Russell.

It seemed natural that your fiancé should want to share...

in this exciting fantasy of yours.

But I told him I was going to Abilene to visit my sister.

You're not angry with me, Bill, are you?

Angry? Heck, no. I got me a movie star for a girlfriend.

We can talk about it over lunch.

Lunch? Oh, my gosh. I can't.

Shirley's having lunch with Arthur Gantman.

Well, I'll see you back at the bungalow. Okay.

Yes, we should be going too. Tattoo. Will you excuse us?

So, uh, who is this Arthur what's-his-name?

Arthur Gantman. He's the head of the studio.

It's strictly business, Bill.

Sure, I understand. I was just looking forward to being with you, that's all.

I'm really surprised, and I'm very excited to see you.

But this is all a part of my fantasy.

You can understand that, can't you?

Yes, of course I can. After all, it's just for the weekend.

It is just for the weekend, isn't it? Of course.

Well, good. When can I see you?

Well, I don't know.

They've got me on such a busy schedule.

But I'm sure I can squeeze you in somehow.

Yes, tonight. We'll have dinner.

But I'll have to get Liz to cancel out Desmond...

and make sure that the photographers and the press don't bug us.

Dinner. All right?

Oh, hi, I'm Bill. Ready?

Shirley's fiancé.

Ready.

Real warm fellow.

Oh! Oh!

Come on! Move it. Move it.

Spence? Oh.

Oh, hi, hon. We'll see you later, Spence.

Yeah. See you later. All right.

Yeah, so long.

Oh! I wish you hadn't whisked your friends away like that...

before I had a chance to meet them.

After all, it's not every day in the week that you get a chance...

to talk to a real, live gang of bank robbers.

I suppose that sounds silly, particularly since I'm married to one.

Winnie!

I've known from the beginning, my love.

- Oh. - Well, almost from the beginning.

You see, when you're a very rich lady and alone,

there are a lot of men who will try to take advantage of you.

So you learn to be very cautious.

I had you investigated, Spence.

I'm not proud of it, but that's what I did.

And the people I used were very thorough.

Did they tell you about Prentiss's little scheme too?

That's how I knew for certain that you really loved me.

Otherwise, why would you risk stealing that

file in order to protect our relationship?

- How can I help? - Oh, I-I...

I don't want you... I mean, this is gonna be very dangerous.

I don't want you involved. But I am involved.

No. You're my man, and I love you.

Look, I don't want... I may have been born rich, but my father wasn't.

He could get very tough when the chips were down, and he taught his daughter how to.

Now, wait... Come on, Spence.

Give me a piece of the action.

How is, uh, Pepper's training coming along, Tattoo?

Great, boss. You want to see a new trick?

- Another one? - Pepper?

That's a boy.

- How do you like it? - Bravo, Tattoo.

Bravo. I'm truly impressed.

Oh, that bird would command a very high price.

That's what we're working for. Right, Pepper?

Miss Russell's fiancé looks very unhappy.

Well, Tattoo, into each fantasy a little rain must fall.

Boss, why did you bring him here?

Because very soon now, Miss Russell will make perhaps...

the most important decision of her life.

I thought it proper that her choices be very clear.

Very clear.

Bill, you can't believe how much my life has changed. Smile, baby.

Suddenly, I'm a somebody. Yeah, and engaged to a nobody.

Oh, come on. That's not fair.

Come off it, Shirley. We can't even have dinner alone together,

not without being followed by hoards of photographers.

But it's all part of the excitement.

The press parties, lunch with the studio boss, signing autographs.

Bill, people actually want my autograph.

Me, Shirley Russell from Omaha.

- You really like it? - Wouldn't anyone?

Excuse the interruption, but I just had to see you, Miss Russell.

You don't mind, do you? Miss Russell,

you are everything Mr. Roarke said you were.

You've got talent... raw talent that still needs some polishing.

But all the equipment needed for stardom is there.

Thank you, Mr. Gantman. I really don't know what to say.

Say "yes." Say "yes," and you've got yourself...

an exclusive seven-year contract with Monarch Pictures.

We'll give you the total star buildup.

TV talk shows, a national publicity tour, the works.

I've already talked to the board of directors. They've given me carte blanche.

I'm speechless.

I knew you would be. Oh, by the way,

the front office feels the picture needs some punching up,

especially if we're going to invest so much into your future.

I've ordered a slight rewrite on the script.

What sort of rewrite, Mr. Gantman?

Bill, please.

Promise not to get skittish if I tell you.

Skittish about what?

Doing the love scene with Desmond Vaughn, you have to be nude.

- Nude? - Nude?

It's only make-believe.

This is show business. Nobody thinks anything about it.

Well, I think a lot about it.

My fiancée's not gonna strip for you or the whole damn board of directors.

Nobody. Tell him, Shirley.

Shirley, tell this creep you're not gonna do it.

- Honey? - I don't know.

I do.

Is he for real?

I'll bet you look terrific in the buff.

Hello, Mr. Prentiss. Uh, Tom.

This is Winnie MacLean.

Yes. Fine, thank you.

My husband's just been telling me about your business proposal.

It sounds fascinating.

Uh, do you suppose we could get together and discuss it tonight over dinner?

Good. See you at 9:00 then.

Oh, Liz, I don't know what to do.

I could get canned for this.

Don't compromise your principles, honey. Don't do it.

I love Bill. But this is my big chance.

The dream of a lifetime.

All my life, I've wanted to be somebody special,

somebody looked up to.

Until a few minutes ago, Bill looked up to you.

Do you wanna do a nude scene? Of course not.

But my career!

Mr. Gantman's going to make me a star.

You think stardom is all glamour and bright lights and handsome men and adoring fans?

Well, honey, it isn't.

It's work, hard work.

And the higher you go, the harder you have to work to stay there.

It's a world of compromise.

And it's a very isolating, lonely place to be.

Think about it, Shirley.

That leaves one more in the house.

No sweat. He won't hear a thing.

Is everybody ready? Fingers!

Fingers! Huh? Huh?

How come it's so dark? Because you're dead.

Come on. Let's get out of here. I'm dead?

If I'm dead, how come I'm walking?

That's a good question.

This is the place. Now, let it go!

- Try it again. - I thought they said "Practice makes perfect."

Hmm?

Okay, now, let it go!

Ooh!

- I was standin' on it. - Yeah, I know.

All right, fellas, now let's get to work.

Up! Up the rope! Up you go!

Up! Just like old times.

Just like old times, yeah. Up.

How did you guys get up here ahead of me?

Oh! Oh, come on. Get down out of there.

And stop... Go ahead now. Up you go.

Right there.

Ready? Yeah. Tap it.

Oh, I forgot. Yeah.

I think she's ready to go, boys. Let her go.

I feel like one of those dogs from Switzerland.

Shh! I should have lost some weight.

Come on. Let's get to work.

♪♪

Make some noise to get him down here. Noise, noise!

I wouldn't stand there if I were you.

Come on!

I got it! Come on!

Lock the door so he can't follow us!

Push the button. Open the gate.

- Hey, where is Jackson? - Turn around, old man.

Come on. Come on. Let's have it. I got a plane to catch.

Enjoy her while you can. Tomorrow, this file's going directly to the D.A.

Ah, ah! Too late for heroics.

Too late for anything.

I got the file, Spence!

Come on! Get in the car!

I got it. I got it.

Man, you really made them scatter, you sly fox.

Yeah. Made who scatter?

Spence, next time, let's call a cab.

Janis, put a couple of those flowers over there by that tree, will ya?

Where's our eager young starlet? Here she comes now.

Charlene, you and Rosemary get together and make sure...

the girls' hair matches so Van Inger doesn't...

Come on, honey. I'll warm you up.

What kind of a reading you got, Don?

Wally, tell Mr. Vaughn we won't need him till tomorrow.

Then tell Audrey or Janet up in the office to call Skip and tell him that...

Don't mention it again. Okay, fine.

- Are you ready? - Ready.

- Good girl. - - May I have the first team, please?

First team, please. This is the best I can do.

It's not good enough, honey.

Mr. Gantman, I want a movie career so badly, I can taste it.

I've wanted one...

ever since I was old enough to play a camel in the church Christmas play.

But even the camel got to wear a blanket.

I'm afraid you're going to have to get yourself another girl, Mr. Gantman.

This one just quit.

Bill!

Bill! I thought you'd gone back to Omaha.

And miss a chance to see my favorite movie star?

Ex-movie star. Oh!

Well, Mrs. MacLean, you seem to have gained some friends.

Indeed, I have. Trouble is, now we have to go back to reality.

That means splitting up the old gang again.

Back in the mothballs for the lot of us. Oh, but not forever.

Right, Mr. Roarke?

It seems your wife has made arrangements...

for another reunion next year, Mr. MacLean,

for the purpose of fulfilling her fantasy.

- Which is? - To rob a bank.

Only this time, I wanna run the show.

Honey, if you should need somebody...

to whip these old codgers together again, I...

You're hired.

Good-bye, Mr. Roarke. Good-bye, Mrs. MacLean.

Thank you, Mr. Roarke. Mr. MacLean, a great pleasure.

Good-bye. Good-bye.

Thank you, Mr. Roarke. It's been very enlightening.

I am very glad. And will you tell me something, Miss Russell?

Are you now certain that, uh,

you can return home, marry Bill, and never regret your decision?

I'm certain. From now on, I want him to star in all my love scenes.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Thank you. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Bye, Tattoo.

I see that Pepper is still with us, huh?

- Yes. And wait until you see one of his new tricks. - Oh?

Pepper, I want you to take one card... the ace of spades.

Good boy.

You see? The ace of spades.

Memorable, Tattoo. Truly memorable.

Now would be a good time to sell Pepper for top dollar.

As a matter of fact, one of our guests inquired if he were for sale.

I know, boss. But I turned down the offer.

You turned down an offer for money?

Well, that's not like you, Tattoo.

You see, boss, Pepper and I, we are very attached to each other.

My dear Tattoo, do I detect a chink...

in that mercenary armor of yours?

Huh?