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1
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It has been described as one of
the most vicious presidential races...
2
00:00:22,788 --> 00:00:24,548
...in the history
of American politics...
3
00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:25,988
...and one of the closest.
4
00:00:26,436 --> 00:00:29,828
The Republican nominee
Senator Russell P. Kramer of Ohio...
5
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:33,188
...is practically dead even
in the polls with is bitter rival...
6
00:00:33,637 --> 00:00:36,068
...democratic Governor
Matt Douglas of Indiana.
7
00:00:36,484 --> 00:00:39,428
To say there is no love lost
between these two candidates...
8
00:00:39,684 --> 00:00:41,348
...is a gross understatement.
9
00:00:41,860 --> 00:00:46,148
Yet to night, in spite of their almost
overwhelming distaste for each other...
10
00:00:46,308 --> 00:00:48,548
...one man will have to
salute the other...
11
00:00:48,997 --> 00:00:52,837
...as the next President
of the United States.
12
00:01:15,268 --> 00:01:17,187
Thank you.
13
00:01:17,476 --> 00:01:18,788
Thank you. God bless you.
14
00:01:19,268 --> 00:01:21,668
What was once a dream.
15
00:01:21,828 --> 00:01:23,748
...is now a reality.
16
00:01:24,740 --> 00:01:27,908
I've always said that our dreams
are like our children.
17
00:01:28,068 --> 00:01:31,748
They need our encouragement
and support to grow.
18
00:01:31,876 --> 00:01:34,148
They must be nurtured
and sheltered...
19
00:01:34,276 --> 00:01:35,245
...but...
20
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:37,028
...allowed to run free.
21
00:01:37,509 --> 00:01:41,349
We are here to help your dream
become real, America.
22
00:01:41,764 --> 00:01:43,748
And I'm confident
that we'll be here...
23
00:01:44,487 --> 00:01:48,004
...for a long, long time to come.
24
00:01:55,876 --> 00:02:00,676
And so it appears
the American people have spoken.
25
00:02:01,220 --> 00:02:02,469
A few minutes ago...
26
00:02:02,884 --> 00:02:06,724
...I congratulated Governor Douglas
on his victory.
27
00:02:06,948 --> 00:02:10,628
We fought bravely,
but for us the time has come...
28
00:02:10,757 --> 00:02:12,248
...to stand behind
our new president...
29
00:02:12,348 --> 00:02:15,428
...and put aside any feelings
of ill will...
30
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:16,869
...rancor...
31
00:02:17,284 --> 00:02:18,308
...hostility...
32
00:02:18,437 --> 00:02:22,148
...and serious doubts about
this man's ability to lead a nation...
33
00:02:22,564 --> 00:02:25,220
...that I hope none of us feels.
34
00:02:52,164 --> 00:02:53,349
A funny thing happened...
35
00:02:54,980 --> 00:02:56,320
...on the way to the office tonight.
36
00:02:56,420 --> 00:02:59,748
I got elected President
of the United States.
37
00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:12,549
A funny thing happened
on the way to the hotel tonight.
38
00:03:12,708 --> 00:03:14,469
Now. The people have spoken.
39
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:17,349
Maybe we don't agree with them.
40
00:03:17,796 --> 00:03:18,796
Congratulations.
41
00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:20,229
What a night.
42
00:03:20,676 --> 00:03:21,676
It's time, sir.
43
00:03:23,268 --> 00:03:24,233
Well, all right then.
44
00:03:24,333 --> 00:03:26,468
Shall we greet the nation
Mr. Vice President-elect.
45
00:03:26,628 --> 00:03:29,508
I guess, but are we sure it's official?
46
00:03:30,404 --> 00:03:34,244
President Douglas just conceded.
I'd say that's a good sign.
47
00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:39,010
Let's go.
48
00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:14,434
I have always believed that dreams...
49
00:04:14,534 --> 00:04:15,876
...are like children.
50
00:04:16,036 --> 00:04:18,756
They need encouragement
and support to grow.
51
00:04:18,916 --> 00:04:19,916
But ultimately...
52
00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:24,516
...it is perseverance that will turn
a dream into a reality...
53
00:04:24,676 --> 00:04:26,916
...countries into world powers...
54
00:04:27,846 --> 00:04:29,796
...and your own Hiroshi Ashino...
55
00:04:29,956 --> 00:04:33,796
...into Matsamuda's insurance
Underwriter of the Year.
56
00:04:45,540 --> 00:04:47,076
Pleasure. Good. Congrats.
57
00:04:56,676 --> 00:04:57,827
What?!
58
00:05:01,156 --> 00:05:03,076
Jesus Christ!
59
00:05:03,876 --> 00:05:07,236
The thing just grabbed me.
Am I supposed to knock it down?
60
00:05:07,494 --> 00:05:09,636
- You handled it very well.
- You think so?
61
00:05:09,796 --> 00:05:12,036
Tomorrow there'll be a picture of me...
62
00:05:12,196 --> 00:05:14,916
...dancing with a giant dog
in every newspaper on this planet.
63
00:05:15,076 --> 00:05:16,356
It was a panda, sir.
64
00:05:16,740 --> 00:05:17,796
What's the difference?
65
00:05:17,956 --> 00:05:19,236
Why a Japanese company would...?
66
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:22,116
I don't care.
Did Jefferson dance with a bear?
67
00:05:22,276 --> 00:05:23,241
Did Lincoln?
68
00:05:23,341 --> 00:05:24,964
Did Reagan foxtrot with a panda?
69
00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:26,089
I'll check...
70
00:05:26,189 --> 00:05:30,724
I was President of the United States
I don't dance with animals.
71
00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:32,165
No dancing with animals.
72
00:05:32,484 --> 00:05:34,564
- A message from the president.
- Thanks, Jim.
73
00:05:34,884 --> 00:05:36,005
Jim's off today. I'm Bruce.
74
00:05:36,324 --> 00:05:37,475
Sorry.
75
00:05:38,436 --> 00:05:39,845
You and Jim look alike.
76
00:05:40,036 --> 00:05:41,956
Jim's black sir.
77
00:05:43,396 --> 00:05:44,357
I know.
78
00:05:44,457 --> 00:05:46,084
But you're both...
79
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:48,035
...tall.
80
00:05:48,804 --> 00:05:51,684
He's sending me to another funeral.
81
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:01,476
I can't believe I just did it
with Matt Douglas.
82
00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:03,380
You were the leader
of the free world.
83
00:06:03,556 --> 00:06:06,276
My mother has a commemorative plate
with your face on it.
84
00:06:06,756 --> 00:06:08,676
You haven't said anything
about my book.
85
00:06:09,156 --> 00:06:12,036
The new draft better?
86
00:06:13,764 --> 00:06:16,836
I'm your editor. Keep in mind,
I'm supposed to be critical.
87
00:06:16,996 --> 00:06:17,996
It stinks, right?
88
00:06:18,276 --> 00:06:20,676
No, it doesn't... I would never...
89
00:06:21,156 --> 00:06:23,556
It is pretty stinky. Sorry.
90
00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:26,916
You spend too much of the book
talking about what you wanted to do...
91
00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:28,354
...not what you did.
92
00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:29,453
I didn't do much.
93
00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:31,620
How's that for honesty?
94
00:06:33,796 --> 00:06:35,076
I believe this is yours.
95
00:06:35,364 --> 00:06:36,364
Look, Joanna...
96
00:06:36,612 --> 00:06:37,956
...if the book goes or not...
97
00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:39,532
...I don't care.
98
00:06:39,876 --> 00:06:42,754
I'm writing it, cause
I don't know what else to do.
99
00:06:42,854 --> 00:06:45,156
You've got plenty of options.
100
00:06:45,316 --> 00:06:46,310
Not really.
101
00:06:46,410 --> 00:06:48,516
But I'll never be like Kramer...
102
00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,396
...running around sucking up
every dime that isn't nailed down.
103
00:06:52,516 --> 00:06:53,792
Jimmy Carter, there's a class act.
104
00:06:53,892 --> 00:06:57,634
He goes around building homes
for poor people with his own hands.
105
00:06:57,734 --> 00:06:58,732
You could do that.
106
00:06:58,884 --> 00:07:00,516
Yeah, maybe in a couple years.
107
00:07:01,093 --> 00:07:02,436
Right now my attitude is...
108
00:07:02,852 --> 00:07:05,732
"They didn't vote for me
let them freeze."
109
00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:12,516
That was too easy.
You're getting soft.
110
00:07:12,676 --> 00:07:15,396
We really wish you wouldn't do that.
You put yourself at risk.
111
00:07:15,780 --> 00:07:17,316
Right. Let me ask you...
112
00:07:17,796 --> 00:07:20,676
...in the years ex-presidents
have had Secret Service protection...
113
00:07:21,060 --> 00:07:24,516
...has there ever been even
one assassination attempt?
114
00:07:24,836 --> 00:07:25,782
No, sir.
115
00:07:25,882 --> 00:07:26,917
I find that sad.
116
00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:28,780
The minute you're out
of the office...
117
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:32,196
...they don't care enough
to kill you anymore.
118
00:07:32,516 --> 00:07:33,637
Before we go in...
119
00:07:33,924 --> 00:07:36,996
...we'd like to know how you got
out of the stall without us seeing.
120
00:07:37,284 --> 00:07:38,916
Why don't you guys relax?
121
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:43,316
Take a night off.
Go rent "In the Line of Fire" again.
122
00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,829
We'll be in Air Force One shortly,
President Douglas.
123
00:07:54,929 --> 00:07:58,436
I hate funerals It's awful when
another good Democrat passes on.
124
00:07:58,597 --> 00:08:01,316
I believe the deceased
was a Republican.
125
00:08:03,141 --> 00:08:04,516
Then it might not be so bad.
126
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:11,876
Hello, baby.
127
00:08:12,037 --> 00:08:14,530
Daddy's home.
128
00:08:24,517 --> 00:08:27,397
There's the old seat.
129
00:08:29,796 --> 00:08:31,716
President Douglas.
130
00:08:33,316 --> 00:08:35,236
President Kramer.
131
00:08:36,676 --> 00:08:39,556
Well, that covers that.
132
00:08:49,284 --> 00:08:50,284
Russell...
133
00:08:50,532 --> 00:08:52,452
...I just have to ask.
134
00:08:53,124 --> 00:08:55,076
When you dance with a panda...
135
00:08:55,332 --> 00:08:57,252
...who leads?
136
00:09:06,276 --> 00:09:09,156
Are you working on your book?
137
00:09:10,276 --> 00:09:12,836
I find writing very gratifying.
I must.
138
00:09:13,381 --> 00:09:15,716
I've written seven books
on my years at the helm.
139
00:09:16,036 --> 00:09:19,876
You've obviously got
a great knack for fiction.
140
00:09:21,636 --> 00:09:24,516
And how is Mrs. Douglas?
141
00:09:24,997 --> 00:09:26,756
We're in the middle of a divorce.
142
00:09:27,076 --> 00:09:28,196
I knew that, didn't I?
143
00:09:28,741 --> 00:09:32,036
I guess life in the White House
put a strain on your marriage.
144
00:09:32,292 --> 00:09:35,396
It was being out of the White House
that Katherine couldn't stand.
145
00:09:35,557 --> 00:09:36,534
That's funny.
146
00:09:36,634 --> 00:09:39,716
It went over well
with the rest of the country.
147
00:09:39,876 --> 00:09:41,196
Want to compare popularity polls?
148
00:09:41,476 --> 00:09:43,076
Let's talk about popularity.
149
00:09:43,396 --> 00:09:46,436
There was only. one assassination
attempt on me. You had three.
150
00:09:46,596 --> 00:09:49,316
Two the woman in Phoenix does
not count! She had a starter pistol!
151
00:09:49,476 --> 00:09:50,418
Stop.
152
00:09:50,518 --> 00:09:51,460
Just stop.
153
00:09:51,684 --> 00:09:53,156
We're here because a man died.
154
00:09:53,604 --> 00:09:56,516
We can attempt some semblance
of civility, can't we?
155
00:09:56,676 --> 00:09:58,596
I know I can.
156
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:04,196
You're a whore, admit it.
Admit you're a big whore.
157
00:10:04,356 --> 00:10:07,556
Name three women in DC. you
didn't bang when you were in office.
158
00:10:07,845 --> 00:10:08,996
What am I talking? Name one.
159
00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:12,197
- Screw you.
- Blow me.
160
00:10:14,821 --> 00:10:16,836
When I appointed
General Charles Sherman...
161
00:10:16,997 --> 00:10:18,276
.to the Joint Chiefs...
162
00:10:18,756 --> 00:10:21,156
...I knew he was a man
with a dream.
163
00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:26,116
I have always believed
that dreams are like our children.
164
00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:28,836
Buy a new speech, Russell.
165
00:10:29,124 --> 00:10:32,196
That dead general's lucky.
He won't have to hear it again.
166
00:10:32,772 --> 00:10:34,596
Grab me a towel, will you?
167
00:10:34,756 --> 00:10:37,956
I don't like to interrupted
while on the bike. What's going on?
168
00:10:38,340 --> 00:10:40,356
I'm afraid a situation's come up.
169
00:10:40,645 --> 00:10:44,196
The Democrats may have some
damaging information about...
170
00:10:44,356 --> 00:10:45,636
...Olympia...
171
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,036
Olympia?
172
00:10:48,196 --> 00:10:49,956
We've had that buried for years.
173
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:51,396
I was thinking...
174
00:10:51,780 --> 00:10:54,756
...when all this took place,
Kramer was President.
175
00:10:55,236 --> 00:10:57,156
Possibly we can lay the scandal on him.
176
00:10:58,404 --> 00:10:59,689
He didn't know anything about it.
177
00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:01,954
Could always make it appear he did.
178
00:11:02,054 --> 00:11:05,316
A little fiddling with the records,
some rewriting of history.
179
00:11:05,701 --> 00:11:08,196
I don't know, Carl.
That's tricky stuff.
180
00:11:08,356 --> 00:11:10,596
That'd open a whole new bag of cats.
181
00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:13,956
My honest opinion. If this matter
isn't taken care of immediately...
182
00:11:14,245 --> 00:11:17,316
...no less than the presidency
is at stake.
183
00:11:17,796 --> 00:11:21,636
Don't worry. I can promise this
is the last you'll hear about it.
184
00:11:21,925 --> 00:11:23,845
Hear about what?
185
00:11:26,596 --> 00:11:30,436
Mrs Sherman told me
Charlie had a favorite song.
186
00:11:31,236 --> 00:11:32,676
One that cheered him up.
187
00:11:32,964 --> 00:11:35,074
Please God,
don't let him quote lyrics.
188
00:11:35,174 --> 00:11:38,434
I can't think of anything more
fitting than to share with you...
189
00:11:38,534 --> 00:11:39,876
...the words from that song.
190
00:11:40,260 --> 00:11:42,180
Oh, Christ.
191
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,154
"Muskrat Susie
192
00:11:45,254 --> 00:11:46,596
"Muskrat Sam
193
00:11:46,756 --> 00:11:49,476
"Do the jitterbug out in Muskrat-land
194
00:11:49,636 --> 00:11:51,556
"And they shimmy
195
00:11:54,436 --> 00:11:56,356
"And Sammy's so skinny."
196
00:12:04,421 --> 00:12:06,341
How are you doing?
197
00:12:07,653 --> 00:12:09,092
Hello, Senator.
198
00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:11,300
Good to see you.
199
00:12:14,021 --> 00:12:15,333
Nice to have seen you.
200
00:12:15,492 --> 00:12:17,732
Mr. President, hello.
201
00:12:17,892 --> 00:12:20,133
What a lovely surprise.
202
00:12:20,260 --> 00:12:22,532
And how is my favorite
TV newsperson?
203
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:23,973
I'm your favorite?
204
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:25,893
I thought Diane Sawyer was.
205
00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:28,100
She is. How is she?
206
00:12:29,381 --> 00:12:32,132
Rumor has it a major scandal
is about to blow...
207
00:12:32,324 --> 00:12:34,052
...and it may involve you.
208
00:12:34,181 --> 00:12:35,493
No, not me, Kaye.
209
00:12:35,876 --> 00:12:37,413
My nose is clean.
210
00:12:37,572 --> 00:12:41,732
I heard that in your last year
in office you took a very generous...
211
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:42,834
..."fee"...
212
00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:44,387
...for delivering a defense contract.
213
00:12:44,516 --> 00:12:45,572
I'm just...
214
00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:47,013
...looking for a confirmation.
215
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:51,140
Are you saying that
I took a kickback?
216
00:12:52,677 --> 00:12:54,693
Excuse me, got a minute?
217
00:12:54,980 --> 00:12:58,052
Looks like Haney's involved
in this Kramer kickback story.
218
00:12:58,340 --> 00:13:02,180
But a defense contractor's prepared
to say he paid Kramer off.
219
00:13:02,820 --> 00:13:04,293
Then that's that Case closed
220
00:13:04,420 --> 00:13:07,652
No, it's not. Our sources tell us
Haney's shifting the blame.
221
00:13:07,812 --> 00:13:09,572
Word is, it was done over lunch.
222
00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:11,618
- Really?
- Just you and the contractor.
223
00:13:11,718 --> 00:13:12,681
Very cozy.
224
00:13:12,781 --> 00:13:14,372
Who is this contractor?
225
00:13:14,724 --> 00:13:16,292
Charlie Reynolds.
226
00:13:16,644 --> 00:13:18,693
Oh, you're kidding.
227
00:13:19,044 --> 00:13:21,573
You know I would tell you
the name of the contractor...
228
00:13:21,796 --> 00:13:23,492
...if I was your favorite
TV newsperson.
229
00:13:23,940 --> 00:13:25,412
But since I'm not...
230
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,683
Take care.
231
00:13:30,372 --> 00:13:31,345
Did you hear that?
232
00:13:31,445 --> 00:13:33,572
I did. It's a crock
and we both know it.
233
00:13:33,732 --> 00:13:36,452
It's a kick in the balls.
Sorry, sweetheart.
234
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:39,332
I'm a politician's wife.
I have a set of my own.
235
00:13:39,684 --> 00:13:43,172
I know you and Charlie were friends
but he's in over his head.
236
00:13:43,524 --> 00:13:46,052
You're going to Washington
for the book convention?
237
00:13:46,212 --> 00:13:48,932
It'd be a great time to talk to him.
238
00:13:49,380 --> 00:13:52,292
I'd like to help you, Joe,
but I'm not getting involved.
239
00:13:52,836 --> 00:13:54,212
If you do this for us...
240
00:13:54,660 --> 00:13:56,132
...the Party'll be grateful.
241
00:13:56,356 --> 00:13:59,012
We both know you want another crack
at the Oval Office.
242
00:13:59,236 --> 00:14:02,372
I told you I was thinking about
running again. Just thinking.
243
00:14:02,724 --> 00:14:04,292
The Party wouldn't back me.
244
00:14:04,740 --> 00:14:06,660
Besides they wouldn't.
245
00:14:06,853 --> 00:14:08,333
- Would they?
- Of course, they would.
246
00:14:08,433 --> 00:14:11,012
I'm the Democratic Chairman.
We need your help.
247
00:14:11,172 --> 00:14:15,812
If you're seriously considering
running again, you'll need ours.
248
00:14:15,972 --> 00:14:17,252
When did this supposedly happen?
249
00:14:17,604 --> 00:14:19,172
It was seven years ago.
250
00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:20,612
I don't understand it.
251
00:14:21,156 --> 00:14:24,452
Why me and why now?
Who'll benefit from framing me?
252
00:14:24,996 --> 00:14:27,876
The President of the United States.
253
00:14:43,396 --> 00:14:44,612
I thought about your offer.
254
00:14:45,156 --> 00:14:46,156
Not that I'd run again...
255
00:14:46,596 --> 00:14:51,332
...but you really think
the Party'd back me if I helped out?
256
00:14:51,556 --> 00:14:53,476
It's already been discussed.
257
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,132
Really?
258
00:14:56,484 --> 00:15:00,324
Now that I think of it
there is an extra bonus to this.
259
00:15:01,956 --> 00:15:04,292
I either get the son of a bitch
I hate...
260
00:15:04,453 --> 00:15:05,406
Good to see you.
261
00:15:05,506 --> 00:15:09,156
...or the son of a bitch I really hate.
262
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,996
I'll do it.
263
00:15:17,412 --> 00:15:20,612
Get me the name of that contractor.
You must dig that up.
264
00:15:21,092 --> 00:15:23,012
I'll get right on it.
265
00:15:24,452 --> 00:15:26,852
We agreed the zipper would be
in the up position.
266
00:15:27,332 --> 00:15:30,212
it's part of the deal.
267
00:15:31,076 --> 00:15:34,532
I wonder what they'd pay me
if I tattooed their logo on my ass.
268
00:15:34,821 --> 00:15:37,701
- I could ask, sir.
- Just drive the cart!
269
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:53,252
I've actually thought about
playing professionally.
270
00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:54,692
I don’t know about that
271
00:15:55,172 --> 00:15:59,972
I think the ladies' tour likes
their payers to be more masculine.
272
00:16:16,420 --> 00:16:18,338
Hold this.
273
00:16:23,685 --> 00:16:26,372
Thank you, Russ. That's for you.
274
00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:29,154
You son of a
275
00:16:45,860 --> 00:16:47,972
I'm so sorry
and I'm so embarrassed.
276
00:16:48,260 --> 00:16:51,332
And I hope this doesn't scare you
away from golf.
277
00:16:51,620 --> 00:16:53,252
Because it's such a great sport.
278
00:16:53,636 --> 00:16:56,132
I know your people,
the black people...
279
00:16:56,292 --> 00:16:57,572
...don't enjoy the game.
280
00:16:57,700 --> 00:17:00,932
it's because you can't get into
the nice clubs, the restricted ones.
281
00:17:01,316 --> 00:17:03,332
But blacks are so good
at many sports.
282
00:17:03,524 --> 00:17:08,132
Maybe it's good that we white folk
have a sport you guys aren't so good at.
283
00:17:08,324 --> 00:17:09,478
Mr. Vice President, this way.
284
00:17:09,578 --> 00:17:12,452
- ls there a problem?
- There'll be less of one if you come.
285
00:17:12,612 --> 00:17:13,558
So long.
286
00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:16,292
I'm getting a cramp.
287
00:17:19,332 --> 00:17:23,012
Interesting game.
You're playing pretty tough.
288
00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:25,092
Tough enough to win, I hope.
289
00:17:25,604 --> 00:17:26,561
Maybe.
290
00:17:26,661 --> 00:17:29,380
You never know when
you'll get stuck with a bad lie.
291
00:17:38,980 --> 00:17:41,732
Here I come, fighting back
from behind
292
00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:44,132
Too little, too late.
You'll never catch us.
293
00:17:44,292 --> 00:17:47,172
I'm pretty sure
I'll catch one of you.
294
00:17:54,212 --> 00:17:57,061
Excellent work, Caldwell.
I'll be in touch.
295
00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:58,358
What'd he find?
296
00:17:58,458 --> 00:18:02,340
Charlie Reynolds is the frigging guy
who says I took the kickback.
297
00:18:02,565 --> 00:18:05,701
Don't say "frigging." If you must use
the F-word, go for the gold.
298
00:18:06,116 --> 00:18:07,140
Why would he say that?
299
00:18:07,556 --> 00:18:09,060
I think he's covering for Haney.
300
00:18:09,252 --> 00:18:11,940
it's Haney's mess
and he's shifting it to me.
301
00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:13,580
I didn't think he was that smart.
302
00:18:15,236 --> 00:18:16,251
He learned from the master.
303
00:18:16,351 --> 00:18:19,620
I met him once. Haney brought him
into the office for lunch.
304
00:18:19,844 --> 00:18:23,460
As I remember, we sat around
talking about golf most of the time.
305
00:18:23,780 --> 00:18:26,340
Now Reynolds is getting ready
to release an affidavit saying...
306
00:18:26,660 --> 00:18:29,540
...that he was alone with me.
307
00:18:31,556 --> 00:18:32,618
Don't do that with the liquor.
308
00:18:32,718 --> 00:18:34,660
it's so... George Bush.
309
00:18:36,644 --> 00:18:37,644
Wait.
310
00:18:37,796 --> 00:18:38,820
Wait a minute.
311
00:18:39,044 --> 00:18:41,700
If the meeting took place
in the Oval Office...
312
00:18:41,924 --> 00:18:46,500
...then there's a record of it
in the log naming everyone present.
313
00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:47,625
This is easy.
314
00:18:47,725 --> 00:18:49,380
I send Caldwell to the archives...
315
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:52,260
...and get some hard evidence
I can shove in Reynolds' face.
316
00:18:52,580 --> 00:18:53,701
Well done, dear.
317
00:18:54,020 --> 00:18:58,020
Before we check out, do you want me
to steal the little shampoos?
318
00:18:58,244 --> 00:19:01,860
Oh God, Margaret,
come on now. Please.
319
00:19:02,020 --> 00:19:03,940
I already got them.
320
00:19:12,644 --> 00:19:13,796
It's not there?!
321
00:19:14,117 --> 00:19:16,676
I have the appointment log
right in front of me.
322
00:19:16,932 --> 00:19:20,516
I see your name, Charles Reynolds'
name, and at the bottom...
323
00:19:20,804 --> 00:19:23,876
...the word "Olympia" circled in red.
324
00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:25,060
Sir?
325
00:19:30,756 --> 00:19:34,916
Don't be a moron, Charlie! You're
saying you offered me a kickback...
326
00:19:35,396 --> 00:19:36,361
...and I took it?!
327
00:19:36,461 --> 00:19:38,276
That's how I remember it.
328
00:19:38,436 --> 00:19:40,676
As I recall just the two of us
were there.
329
00:19:40,964 --> 00:19:42,596
You were pleased about the deal.
330
00:19:42,756 --> 00:19:45,476
Just the two of us?
Are you sure about that?
331
00:19:45,860 --> 00:19:47,874
There's nothing more to discuss.
332
00:19:47,974 --> 00:19:51,234
We have lots to discuss
How's this for openers?
333
00:19:51,334 --> 00:19:55,076
You and your buddies tampering
with documents in the archives?
334
00:19:55,556 --> 00:19:58,436
That'll be hard to explain
when you get subpoenaed.
335
00:19:58,916 --> 00:20:01,796
I'm sorry, sir. I have no idea
what you're talking about.
336
00:20:02,180 --> 00:20:06,020
I'm going to have to stand
by my original statement.
337
00:20:06,276 --> 00:20:09,156
You'll have to stand alone.
338
00:20:14,564 --> 00:20:16,196
- Let's go, Bruce.
- It's Jim.
339
00:20:16,580 --> 00:20:18,116
Yeah, you're black and tall.
340
00:20:18,596 --> 00:20:21,476
Whoopdee-frigging-do.
341
00:20:27,140 --> 00:20:28,196
Mr. Reynolds...
342
00:20:28,580 --> 00:20:29,636
...the president's here.
343
00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:31,076
He just left.
344
00:20:31,236 --> 00:20:32,996
No, another one.
345
00:20:33,156 --> 00:20:35,076
Charlie, old buddy!
346
00:20:35,684 --> 00:20:37,314
How about we take a walk?
347
00:20:37,414 --> 00:20:40,292
Talk about old times.
348
00:20:42,404 --> 00:20:43,556
I assure you...
349
00:20:43,716 --> 00:20:46,916
...the arrangement was made
with President Kramer alone.
350
00:20:47,076 --> 00:20:51,714
We're friends. I want to believe you,
but some people say it wasn't that way.
351
00:20:51,814 --> 00:20:54,117
This is turning into
a huge political bomb.
352
00:20:54,532 --> 00:20:58,436
Not that I mind, because when
it blows, my party's going to be in.
353
00:20:58,980 --> 00:20:59,958
Look...
354
00:21:00,058 --> 00:21:02,757
...Haney, Kramer,
one of them is going down.
355
00:21:03,236 --> 00:21:06,597
Now the Democrats can offer you
immunity if you give us the name.
356
00:21:06,756 --> 00:21:08,517
Now, come on, who took the kickback?
357
00:21:08,996 --> 00:21:10,076
Please tell me it's Kramer.
358
00:21:10,533 --> 00:21:14,373
If it is I'll give you
a big kiss on the lips.
359
00:21:17,253 --> 00:21:20,516
Carl, I'm in a very tough spot here.
360
00:21:20,676 --> 00:21:22,436
I know. There's nothing
to worry about.
361
00:21:22,917 --> 00:21:23,859
Hang tight.
362
00:21:23,959 --> 00:21:27,717
They came to my office yesterday!
They came to my place of business!
363
00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:30,597
Now, look, I know we have a deal...
364
00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:33,477
...but if I knew this would happen
I wouldn't have signed on.
365
00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:37,796
Be calm and know you have the full.
power of the White House behind you.
366
00:21:37,956 --> 00:21:40,836
Okay? I'll be in touch.
367
00:21:42,532 --> 00:21:44,037
Reynolds sounds shaky.
368
00:21:44,997 --> 00:21:48,837
I better get over there
and give our friend moral support.
369
00:21:57,636 --> 00:22:00,357
Okay, folks, please step back.
Form a line
370
00:22:00,836 --> 00:22:02,277
Everyone will get an autograph.
371
00:22:02,436 --> 00:22:04,676
He wrote a cookbook How dare he?
372
00:22:04,964 --> 00:22:07,077
When he was President
he cooked for his guests.
373
00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:08,438
That's not the point.
374
00:22:08,538 --> 00:22:10,436
Did Washington write
about wooden teeth?
375
00:22:10,820 --> 00:22:14,276
"Did Taft write
Thirty Days to a Slimmer Ass"?
376
00:22:14,436 --> 00:22:15,717
It's shameful.
377
00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:17,156
Mr. President?
378
00:22:17,316 --> 00:22:19,236
It's okay, Chet.
379
00:22:20,580 --> 00:22:23,874
Mr. Reynolds would appreciate
your signing this for his daughter.
380
00:22:23,974 --> 00:22:25,317
Who? Charlie?
381
00:22:33,092 --> 00:22:35,012
Be glad to.
382
00:22:35,781 --> 00:22:36,837
There you go.
383
00:22:37,412 --> 00:22:40,292
This'll make him very happy.
384
00:22:42,116 --> 00:22:43,557
President Douglas...
385
00:22:43,844 --> 00:22:45,956
...here's the sandwich you ordered.
386
00:22:46,116 --> 00:22:48,036
Just one moment.
387
00:22:52,101 --> 00:22:54,021
Chet, could you...?
388
00:22:57,444 --> 00:22:58,405
I didn't order a sandwich.
389
00:22:58,505 --> 00:22:59,244
Yes, sir.
390
00:22:59,344 --> 00:23:00,017
Sandwich boy.
391
00:23:00,117 --> 00:23:00,972
Come with us
392
00:23:01,220 --> 00:23:03,716
Drop the bag.
Hands behind your back.
393
00:23:03,876 --> 00:23:04,841
What'd I do?
394
00:23:04,941 --> 00:23:06,373
- Don't move
- He said turkey and Swiss!
395
00:23:06,473 --> 00:23:07,617
- Don't move
- He said turkey and Swiss!
396
00:23:07,717 --> 00:23:08,754
- What's in the bag?
- A sandwich.
397
00:23:49,701 --> 00:23:50,741
You made the right choice.
398
00:23:50,917 --> 00:23:52,644
I hope so, Matt.
399
00:23:52,772 --> 00:23:54,115
Get in.
400
00:23:58,597 --> 00:24:00,804
it's my duty to officially
serve you with a subpoena.
401
00:24:00,964 --> 00:24:03,844
Oh, God. Did you have to do that?
402
00:24:04,260 --> 00:24:06,180
I always admired you.
403
00:24:07,332 --> 00:24:09,252
The hell...
404
00:24:10,276 --> 00:24:11,844
My ex-wife.
405
00:24:12,004 --> 00:24:13,004
Damn.
406
00:24:13,924 --> 00:24:18,084
Don't ever get a divorce, Charlie.
I swear, half the time...
407
00:24:18,244 --> 00:24:21,124
...I wish somebody'd
walk up and shoot me.
408
00:24:22,884 --> 00:24:24,324
Oh, my God!
409
00:24:24,484 --> 00:24:27,364
What are you doing?!
410
00:24:27,844 --> 00:24:30,564
What's going on. Douglas?
Oh, my God.
411
00:24:30,916 --> 00:24:32,004
He's dead.
412
00:24:32,164 --> 00:24:33,924
Oh, my God! What the hell?
413
00:24:34,276 --> 00:24:35,364
Don't make a scene.
414
00:24:35,652 --> 00:24:37,764
- What did you do?!
- What did I do?!
415
00:24:37,924 --> 00:24:41,124
You caught me. We got in a fight
about your cookbook so I plugged him.
416
00:24:43,332 --> 00:24:44,582
You got a problem
with my cookbook?
417
00:24:44,682 --> 00:24:46,884
We are two ex-presidents
inches away from a dead man.
418
00:24:47,044 --> 00:24:48,324
Not a good place to be.
419
00:24:48,484 --> 00:24:51,143
What were you doing with Reynolds?
You know about Olympia, don't you?
420
00:24:51,243 --> 00:24:53,604
- I know about the kickback you took.
- I didn't take one!
421
00:24:53,892 --> 00:24:56,964
- What business is it of yours anyway?
- Where can we talk?
422
00:24:57,124 --> 00:25:00,004
I know, follow me.
423
00:25:14,020 --> 00:25:16,357
For the last time,
I'm telling everything I know.
424
00:25:16,613 --> 00:25:19,237
And I don't have the slightest clue
what Olympia is?
425
00:25:19,780 --> 00:25:22,117
Excuse me, Dad.
Did you want a drink?
426
00:25:22,276 --> 00:25:23,556
Fruit juice, honey.
427
00:25:24,100 --> 00:25:25,957
- Vodka tonic
- I'm sure we can swing that.
428
00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:27,500
I never touch alcohol.
429
00:25:27,716 --> 00:25:29,316
Dulls the senses.
430
00:25:29,476 --> 00:25:31,396
You're full of shit.
431
00:25:33,476 --> 00:25:34,362
Hi, there.
432
00:25:34,462 --> 00:25:35,386
We're talking big-people talk.
433
00:25:35,486 --> 00:25:36,517
Did you hear that?
434
00:25:36,676 --> 00:25:37,956
Here, here.
435
00:25:38,116 --> 00:25:39,396
Money. For you.
436
00:25:40,068 --> 00:25:40,970
Thanks.
437
00:25:41,070 --> 00:25:41,914
- Don't do that
- Why?
438
00:25:42,014 --> 00:25:44,676
I'm showing him
how you got elected.
439
00:25:45,061 --> 00:25:46,116
Play with me.
440
00:25:46,692 --> 00:25:51,492
I can't right now Davy. But, here.
See, take this and run along.
441
00:25:52,741 --> 00:25:53,796
Give me the gun.
442
00:25:54,084 --> 00:25:57,636
You go hide. I'll count from 100
and then come find you. Okay?
443
00:25:58,116 --> 00:26:00,036
Skedaddle. One hundred...
444
00:26:00,196 --> 00:26:01,956
...ninety-nine.....
445
00:26:03,556 --> 00:26:04,556
Okay, where were we?
446
00:26:06,756 --> 00:26:08,676
Maybe you weren't involved
in Charlie's death...
447
00:26:08,805 --> 00:26:10,596
...but you're involved somehow.
448
00:26:11,076 --> 00:26:14,436
I'm involved? What about you?
You were sitting in a dead man's car.
449
00:26:14,821 --> 00:26:16,821
Now you know. I enjoy
spending time with dead men.
450
00:26:17,124 --> 00:26:18,830
- You don't believe me?
- Go ahead and die.
451
00:26:18,930 --> 00:26:19,917
It'll perk me up.
452
00:26:20,100 --> 00:26:21,124
You...
453
00:26:21,316 --> 00:26:23,236
Someone's here for you.
454
00:26:24,677 --> 00:26:27,396
Good afternoon, sirs.
Colonel Paul Tanner, NSA.
455
00:26:27,557 --> 00:26:30,756
President Haney must meet with
the both of you as quickly as possible.
456
00:26:30,916 --> 00:26:33,156
We have transportation
to Camp David.
457
00:26:33,636 --> 00:26:35,076
How'd you find us here?
458
00:26:35,364 --> 00:26:37,956
We know where you are
at all times, sir.
459
00:26:38,532 --> 00:26:41,412
That's our business.
460
00:27:13,637 --> 00:27:14,602
Major...
461
00:27:14,702 --> 00:27:17,796
...is there a problem? The flight
to Camp David isn't this long.
462
00:27:18,180 --> 00:27:20,196
My orders didn't mention Camp David.
463
00:27:20,357 --> 00:27:23,076
We were told we were going
to Camp David to see Haney.
464
00:27:23,237 --> 00:27:27,077
Sir, as far as know,
President Haney's at the White House.
465
00:27:27,876 --> 00:27:28,876
Something's wrong.
466
00:27:28,997 --> 00:27:31,236
- Now what?
- Haney's in Washington.
467
00:27:31,620 --> 00:27:33,636
They are taking us out
in the middle of nowhere.
468
00:27:33,797 --> 00:27:36,036
That duplicitous little turd.
469
00:27:36,196 --> 00:27:37,956
I want to speak to the White House.
470
00:27:38,340 --> 00:27:40,836
I'm sorry. I've been. instructed
to maintain radio silence.
471
00:27:41,733 --> 00:27:43,253
Then put this bird on the ground, now!
472
00:27:43,524 --> 00:27:44,502
That's an order.
473
00:27:44,602 --> 00:27:48,420
Respectfully sir, I can't do that.
My orders are classified.
474
00:27:48,612 --> 00:27:49,956
All right.....
475
00:27:50,117 --> 00:27:53,957
Land this contraption or
I'll blow your head off!
476
00:28:03,012 --> 00:28:06,852
You said you wanted
to maintain radio silence...
477
00:28:07,397 --> 00:28:08,397
What the hell?!
478
00:28:08,676 --> 00:28:11,556
Don't shoot a gun in a confined area!
You want to deafen us.
479
00:28:12,516 --> 00:28:13,636
Just get out of the chopper.
480
00:28:13,860 --> 00:28:15,876
- Get out of the chopper!
- The crops?
481
00:28:16,260 --> 00:28:17,794
Get out!
482
00:28:26,340 --> 00:28:27,876
What we do now?
483
00:28:28,036 --> 00:28:30,756
It's our butts if we let them
out of sight.
484
00:28:31,140 --> 00:28:35,076
If I have to get a hearing aid
after this, I'm sending you the bill.
485
00:28:35,556 --> 00:28:39,396
if I have to listen to you bitch,
I'll beat you to death with my shoe!
486
00:28:39,780 --> 00:28:42,756
Now what the hell are they doing?
Get out of here!
487
00:28:43,236 --> 00:28:45,156
Go on, get going! Shoo! Shoo!
488
00:28:45,636 --> 00:28:47,076
They're not leaving.
489
00:28:47,236 --> 00:28:48,636
Maybe if you make a scary face.....
490
00:28:48,900 --> 00:28:50,436
Wait a minute, Einstein.
491
00:28:50,596 --> 00:28:53,796
We never had to leave the chopper!
You've got their gun!
492
00:28:54,341 --> 00:28:56,278
We could've made them
take us back to Washington.
493
00:28:56,378 --> 00:28:57,636
Now you figure that out!
494
00:28:57,796 --> 00:29:00,516
As usual, a Republican comes up
with a plan while the Democrat...
495
00:29:00,996 --> 00:29:02,436
...wanders in the woods.
496
00:29:02,820 --> 00:29:04,356
Flag them down.
497
00:29:04,644 --> 00:29:05,796
Come on down.
498
00:29:06,180 --> 00:29:07,236
Bring it down.
499
00:29:07,524 --> 00:29:10,404
Bring... it... down!
500
00:29:29,124 --> 00:29:31,044
They're down.
501
00:29:44,772 --> 00:29:48,996
I don't believe this it's madness.
You know what gives me the red ass?
502
00:29:49,284 --> 00:29:50,262
The red ass?
503
00:29:50,362 --> 00:29:51,876
Haney's behind all this.
504
00:29:52,260 --> 00:29:54,756
Damn it, he's not going to get
away with it. We'll go public.
505
00:29:55,333 --> 00:29:56,676
I'll call Kaye Griffin.
506
00:29:56,836 --> 00:30:00,516
We'll go on TV and tell them about
Reynolds, murder and the explosion.
507
00:30:00,900 --> 00:30:03,876
Are you crazy?
We can't go public without evidence.
508
00:30:04,356 --> 00:30:05,676
We'll look like couple of morons.
509
00:30:05,796 --> 00:30:06,876
The people will believe us!
510
00:30:07,172 --> 00:30:07,972
Why?
511
00:30:08,140 --> 00:30:09,796
Because we're presidents.
512
00:30:11,556 --> 00:30:14,914
They won't believe us.
What are we supposed to do?
513
00:30:15,014 --> 00:30:16,932
I don't know.
514
00:30:20,356 --> 00:30:21,735
Call Douglas's and Kramer's families.
515
00:30:21,835 --> 00:30:23,885
Tell them the presidents're called
on an emergency summit.
516
00:30:23,985 --> 00:30:26,268
They will not be reachable and
we have no further information.
517
00:30:26,368 --> 00:30:27,828
Unless you find them in the wreckage...
518
00:30:27,928 --> 00:30:30,335
...they're still out there with
about a three-hour head start.
519
00:30:30,660 --> 00:30:32,967
Put up the checkpoints for
ten miles around the crash site.
520
00:30:33,067 --> 00:30:35,876
I want this resolved tonight.
521
00:30:43,044 --> 00:30:46,884
I'm hungry. Give me one of those
Tootsie Rolls you've got.
522
00:30:47,844 --> 00:30:49,764
Wait a minute.
523
00:30:50,916 --> 00:30:52,356
Here's half. You owe me.
524
00:30:52,516 --> 00:30:53,794
I owe you?
525
00:30:53,894 --> 00:30:57,733
What, a penny? Man, you are
one cheap son of a bitch.
526
00:31:02,596 --> 00:31:04,836
I am one cheap son of a bitch.
527
00:31:04,996 --> 00:31:07,236
That's what'll save our backsides!
528
00:31:07,396 --> 00:31:11,556
I had the White House kitchen staff
track every meal.
529
00:31:11,716 --> 00:31:14,916
They have a record of
everything served, and to whom.
530
00:31:15,076 --> 00:31:16,356
You're cheaper than I thought.
531
00:31:16,516 --> 00:31:17,794
Stow it, sailor!
532
00:31:17,894 --> 00:31:21,156
The log will prove Haney was
at that lunch with Reynolds.
533
00:31:21,316 --> 00:31:25,477
And it's not in the National Archives,
it's in my presidential library in Ohio.
534
00:31:25,636 --> 00:31:29,315
So I just call the library and have
them fax the records to key people.
535
00:31:29,415 --> 00:31:30,756
No, you can't call.
536
00:31:30,916 --> 00:31:34,117
Somebody wants us dead, when they
find we're not, they'll look for us.
537
00:31:34,596 --> 00:31:36,516
They'll be tapping phones.
538
00:31:36,676 --> 00:31:38,436
Our home phones, office phones.....
539
00:31:38,917 --> 00:31:41,316
How'll we contact the library?
540
00:31:41,604 --> 00:31:44,196
it's a nice night to walk to Ohio.
541
00:31:44,773 --> 00:31:47,076
- We don't know what state we're in.
- Come on, Grandpa.
542
00:31:47,557 --> 00:31:48,535
What'd you say?
543
00:31:48,635 --> 00:31:50,437
You heard me.
544
00:31:50,596 --> 00:31:53,476
Try to keep up with me, buster.
545
00:32:00,420 --> 00:32:02,340
Joe Hollis?
546
00:32:02,596 --> 00:32:04,514
Thank you.
547
00:32:08,484 --> 00:32:10,404
Hello, Joe.
548
00:32:11,460 --> 00:32:14,437
What an unexpected and
blood-curdeling surprise.
549
00:32:14,596 --> 00:32:17,317
Just know how to make a girl
get all gooey inside.
550
00:32:17,892 --> 00:32:20,197
- What've you heard about the scandal?
- Not a word.
551
00:32:20,580 --> 00:32:22,596
Excuse me, my salad's getting cold.
552
00:32:23,077 --> 00:32:25,476
Kramer's office cancelled
all of his appointments.
553
00:32:25,636 --> 00:32:26,636
He's disappeared.
554
00:32:26,917 --> 00:32:29,794
I have a tough time keeping track
of the Democrats...
555
00:32:29,894 --> 00:32:31,236
Douglas disappeared too.
556
00:32:31,396 --> 00:32:33,156
What a coincidence.
557
00:32:33,637 --> 00:32:36,996
If I hear so much as one word,
you'll be the first to know.
558
00:32:37,380 --> 00:32:39,397
Come on, what's going on here?
559
00:32:39,556 --> 00:32:43,396
Is it possible Kramer and Douglas
are in on this together?
560
00:32:44,580 --> 00:32:47,460
Over their dead bodies.
561
00:33:10,500 --> 00:33:12,420
How's it going?
562
00:33:25,764 --> 00:33:27,460
Are you them?
563
00:33:27,620 --> 00:33:28,900
Are you the real guys?
564
00:33:29,060 --> 00:33:30,340
Yeah, we are.
565
00:33:30,660 --> 00:33:32,195
Oh, man!
566
00:33:32,580 --> 00:33:34,180
I think you're awesome.
567
00:33:34,340 --> 00:33:35,620
No fair peeking.
568
00:33:36,037 --> 00:33:37,540
Sorry about that.
569
00:33:37,861 --> 00:33:39,460
I'm just kidding.
570
00:33:39,620 --> 00:33:44,420
I think you're doing a great job too.
571
00:33:46,212 --> 00:33:48,132
It's an honor.
572
00:33:49,860 --> 00:33:51,460
No. I can't shake right now.
573
00:33:51,620 --> 00:33:53,540
I have to keep my hands
on the first penis.
574
00:33:56,420 --> 00:33:58,530
No problem.
575
00:33:59,652 --> 00:34:02,532
it's a pleasure to meet ya!
576
00:34:10,596 --> 00:34:12,100
The first...
577
00:34:12,260 --> 00:34:13,260
...penis?
578
00:34:13,381 --> 00:34:16,261
I think that's what I'll call it
from now on.
579
00:34:17,604 --> 00:34:19,524
What do you think, Blinky?
580
00:34:25,092 --> 00:34:26,092
What's the deal?
581
00:34:26,244 --> 00:34:27,964
Bobby didn't say anything
about presidents.
582
00:34:28,100 --> 00:34:29,380
Figured I was working alone.
583
00:34:29,540 --> 00:34:31,300
It don't matter none.
584
00:34:31,460 --> 00:34:32,740
What's your name?
585
00:34:32,964 --> 00:34:33,929
Matt Douglas.
586
00:34:34,029 --> 00:34:35,848
No, stupid. I know you're
supposed to look like.
587
00:34:35,948 --> 00:34:37,540
What are your real names?
588
00:34:37,700 --> 00:34:39,460
Tom and...
589
00:34:39,780 --> 00:34:41,700
This is Blinky.
590
00:34:42,372 --> 00:34:43,780
Tom and Blinky.
591
00:34:43,940 --> 00:34:44,914
I'm Francis.
592
00:34:45,014 --> 00:34:46,107
Let's get one thing straight.
593
00:34:46,207 --> 00:34:50,916
No sharing tips. it's every man
for himself until we get to Cleveland.
594
00:34:51,492 --> 00:34:53,412
Now let's rock and roll...
595
00:34:54,084 --> 00:34:55,084
We'll be right there.
596
00:34:55,332 --> 00:34:56,297
Cleveland?
597
00:34:56,397 --> 00:34:58,180
We're out of the woods, Blinky.
598
00:34:58,596 --> 00:35:00,484
You dirty son of a...
599
00:35:09,540 --> 00:35:11,460
Hey, everybody.
600
00:35:12,900 --> 00:35:15,780
Thank you very much.
601
00:35:20,420 --> 00:35:23,300
This is going to be fun.
602
00:35:30,500 --> 00:35:32,260
It's spooky.
He really looks like him.
603
00:35:32,580 --> 00:35:33,700
His nose is bigger.
604
00:35:33,860 --> 00:35:36,100
Have you ever met the real
President Kramer?
605
00:35:36,516 --> 00:35:39,460
Actually, I have. A great American.
606
00:35:39,780 --> 00:35:40,901
Give me a break.
607
00:35:41,412 --> 00:35:43,652
"Our dreams are like children.
They need to be nurtured.
608
00:35:43,812 --> 00:35:44,932
"They need to be supported."
609
00:35:45,060 --> 00:35:46,661
"They need to eat vegetables."
610
00:35:47,140 --> 00:35:48,140
Prick.
611
00:35:49,092 --> 00:35:51,940
This is so weird. I shouldn't
tell you this, but two years ago...
612
00:35:52,356 --> 00:35:56,261
...I had a thing with the real Douglas,
at a Fourth of July do.
613
00:35:56,420 --> 00:35:58,181
And we did it.
614
00:35:58,340 --> 00:35:59,620
How about that.
615
00:35:59,940 --> 00:36:01,540
Stick a fork in him, he's done.
616
00:36:01,700 --> 00:36:03,460
He was a president.
He had his four years.
617
00:36:03,685 --> 00:36:05,380
We don't need
another crappy book.
618
00:36:05,700 --> 00:36:07,060
I thought he was a good president.
619
00:36:07,332 --> 00:36:10,180
All these old guys want to stay
in the game, but they don't have it.
620
00:36:10,340 --> 00:36:13,220
Lie down, you're dead
and you don't know it.
621
00:36:14,820 --> 00:36:15,785
Did you see that?
622
00:36:15,885 --> 00:36:16,793
A muscle spasm.
623
00:36:16,893 --> 00:36:19,620
I've been getting them lately.
I'm terribly sorry.
624
00:36:19,940 --> 00:36:20,905
There it goes again.
625
00:36:21,005 --> 00:36:23,141
It just seems that...
It's very embarrassing.
626
00:36:23,300 --> 00:36:24,580
I better take my medication.
627
00:36:25,092 --> 00:36:27,941
I hope you don't mind my asking,
but how was he? Any good?
628
00:36:28,164 --> 00:36:30,340
It was a lot like his presidency.
629
00:36:30,565 --> 00:36:34,405
There was a lot of talk leading
up to it, then he didn't do much.
630
00:36:35,780 --> 00:36:37,541
Excuse me.
631
00:36:37,700 --> 00:36:39,461
Douglas, this thing stops in Akron...
632
00:36:39,972 --> 00:36:42,372
...which isn't far from Cuyahoga Falls,
where my library is.
633
00:36:42,756 --> 00:36:44,793
What's it doing there?
Weren't you born in Cleveland?
634
00:36:44,893 --> 00:36:47,620
Yeah, but Cleveland wouldn't cut me
a decent deal on property taxes.
635
00:36:48,132 --> 00:36:49,540
Moving that house was a bitch.
636
00:36:50,052 --> 00:36:53,861
But the financial benefits
have been fantastic.
637
00:37:01,444 --> 00:37:04,324
I don't think we'll make it
to Akron
638
00:37:04,996 --> 00:37:08,356
Let's start at the front
and move back.
639
00:37:08,836 --> 00:37:12,676
Meet us at the next station.
That's where we'll pull them off.
640
00:37:55,300 --> 00:37:57,219
Oh, great.
641
00:37:57,477 --> 00:37:59,397
The end of the line.
642
00:38:09,957 --> 00:38:12,196
My God! How will we do this?
643
00:38:12,356 --> 00:38:14,116
Simple. Jump, tuck, and roll.
644
00:38:14,660 --> 00:38:17,956
It's all hay and grass out there.
It's the "amber waves of grain...'
645
00:38:18,116 --> 00:38:19,050
I can't.
646
00:38:19,150 --> 00:38:19,962
You can.
647
00:38:20,062 --> 00:38:21,316
- I can't!
- You can do it!
648
00:38:21,477 --> 00:38:22,756
- I can't
- Close your eyes.
649
00:38:22,916 --> 00:38:24,676
- We'll jump together.
- Don't give me that.
650
00:38:24,965 --> 00:38:26,596
- I can't do this!
- Close them!
651
00:38:26,916 --> 00:38:27,858
Count!
652
00:38:27,958 --> 00:38:28,700
One!
653
00:38:28,996 --> 00:38:29,796
Two!
654
00:38:32,164 --> 00:38:34,084
God, that felt good.
655
00:38:35,877 --> 00:38:38,757
One, two, three.
656
00:38:59,300 --> 00:39:00,451
Jesus.
657
00:39:04,836 --> 00:39:06,756
Where are you?
658
00:39:07,236 --> 00:39:08,771
Damn it!
659
00:39:10,116 --> 00:39:12,100
Stop yelling, you dick.
660
00:39:12,261 --> 00:39:13,540
Where are you?
661
00:39:13,860 --> 00:39:15,780
I'm over here.
662
00:39:23,652 --> 00:39:25,060
Nice "amber waves."
663
00:39:25,220 --> 00:39:28,420
I got a chunk of
"purple mountain majesty" up my ass.
664
00:39:28,581 --> 00:39:29,581
Here.
665
00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:31,780
Just don't. Just don't help me.
666
00:39:31,940 --> 00:39:33,700
I don't need you helping me.
667
00:39:33,860 --> 00:39:35,140
That's fine by me.
668
00:39:35,301 --> 00:39:37,027
Let's go.
669
00:39:38,533 --> 00:39:40,453
Do you smell food?
670
00:39:54,020 --> 00:39:56,260
I'm out of money.
Lend me five bucks for a burger.
671
00:39:56,484 --> 00:39:58,660
- What kind of burger?
- The one with bacon.
672
00:39:58,820 --> 00:40:00,740
it's $1.99.
673
00:40:02,437 --> 00:40:04,900
You want $5 to buy
a $1.99 hamburger?
674
00:40:05,124 --> 00:40:08,004
And you wonder why
the Democrats are in trouble.
675
00:40:13,701 --> 00:40:15,621
We got company.
676
00:40:23,652 --> 00:40:26,980
Do you know who those two guys are?
They're presidents.
677
00:40:27,141 --> 00:40:28,141
Cool.
678
00:40:29,412 --> 00:40:32,292
Presidents of what?
679
00:40:33,860 --> 00:40:34,860
Cleveland, Ohio.
680
00:40:35,077 --> 00:40:36,100
I hope this works.
681
00:40:36,420 --> 00:40:37,540
We have no other choice.
682
00:40:38,052 --> 00:40:40,420
Hi. I'm Matt Douglas.
This is President Kramer.
683
00:40:40,740 --> 00:40:41,705
How do you do?
684
00:40:41,805 --> 00:40:44,251
I'm sure it's a bit overwhelming
for you to meet us like this.
685
00:40:44,772 --> 00:40:47,516
We're on a fact-finding mission for
the Interstate Commerce Commission.
686
00:40:47,616 --> 00:40:50,180
Headed for Ohio?
687
00:40:51,972 --> 00:40:54,820
We have to ride with you so
we can gain a personal perspective...
688
00:40:55,140 --> 00:40:57,700
...on the transportation capabilities
of our interstate system.
689
00:40:58,212 --> 00:41:01,060
Nobody rides for free.
Cost you 50 bucks.
690
00:41:01,220 --> 00:41:02,980
We don't have any cash.
691
00:41:03,492 --> 00:41:04,492
I'll take your watch.
692
00:41:04,644 --> 00:41:06,340
You must be joking.
693
00:41:06,500 --> 00:41:10,340
That's a Constellation.
It was given to me by Gorbachev.
694
00:41:19,332 --> 00:41:21,700
This really steams my clams.
695
00:41:21,860 --> 00:41:25,060
There are two watches like that
in the entire world.
696
00:41:25,284 --> 00:41:28,420
Reagan has one, and now Shamu,
the killer hick, has the other.
697
00:41:28,741 --> 00:41:31,300
Shut up. We don't want
to piss her off.
698
00:41:31,460 --> 00:41:32,740
These burritos, really great.
699
00:41:33,156 --> 00:41:35,620
Better you're eating them.
I'm dieting.
700
00:41:35,780 --> 00:41:37,540
Really? You don't need to.
701
00:41:37,860 --> 00:41:39,940
What's wrong with you?
I'm obese.
702
00:41:40,261 --> 00:41:41,380
I don't think you are.
703
00:41:41,604 --> 00:41:43,780
You must be one of those rare gals...
704
00:41:43,940 --> 00:41:47,140
...who look good carrying an extra
one-, two hundred pounds.
705
00:41:47,364 --> 00:41:50,020
What are you saying? I'm a fat pig.
706
00:41:50,180 --> 00:41:54,020
You Washington boys don't know
the truth when it bites you in the butt.
707
00:41:54,500 --> 00:41:57,412
Nice job not pissing her off.
708
00:41:58,916 --> 00:42:01,156
So, what are we hauling?
709
00:42:01,636 --> 00:42:04,517
Nothing exciting. Farm equipment.
710
00:42:10,916 --> 00:42:12,836
I must pull over.
711
00:42:14,980 --> 00:42:17,460
Not to worry anybody, but you
might want to make a run for it.
712
00:42:18,053 --> 00:42:19,973
What the hell...?
713
00:42:22,436 --> 00:42:24,196
Come on, come on, come on.
714
00:42:26,852 --> 00:42:27,852
Halt. Stop where you are.
715
00:42:28,196 --> 00:42:30,916
Immigration and Naturalization Service.
716
00:42:31,076 --> 00:42:32,076
What?
717
00:42:38,180 --> 00:42:40,516
Farm equipment! I knew that
damn broad was trouble.
718
00:42:40,836 --> 00:42:44,676
All I care is that chopper's not for us.
719
00:42:48,516 --> 00:42:50,116
That chopper's for us.
720
00:42:50,276 --> 00:42:51,250
This is INS One-One.
721
00:42:51,350 --> 00:42:54,916
You are interfering with an official
operation. Vacate the area.
722
00:42:55,076 --> 00:42:57,796
We are in the middle of a highly
classified NSA operation.
723
00:42:58,340 --> 00:42:59,716
You are ordered to leave the area.
724
00:43:00,132 --> 00:43:04,932
I will not abort my mission without
verification of your authority.
725
00:43:06,052 --> 00:43:08,932
Verification acknowledged.
Have a nice night.
726
00:43:11,620 --> 00:43:13,538
Señores...
727
00:43:13,796 --> 00:43:15,716
...down here!
728
00:43:34,340 --> 00:43:36,196
- What do you have?
- Nothing over here!
729
00:43:36,612 --> 00:43:39,492
Let's face it, Douglas.
We're dead.
730
00:43:39,716 --> 00:43:41,516
They not kill you, Señor.
They send you back.
731
00:43:41,636 --> 00:43:43,394
You wait one month
then you try again.
732
00:43:43,494 --> 00:43:46,274
I try four times already.
I love this country.
733
00:43:46,374 --> 00:43:48,403
Do me a favor. Put "el socko" in it.
734
00:43:48,503 --> 00:43:50,354
Don't mind him. He's just cranky...
735
00:43:50,454 --> 00:43:53,220
...'cause he has a tiny penis.
736
00:43:53,572 --> 00:43:54,771
What's your name?
737
00:43:54,871 --> 00:43:59,088
Ernesto. What's yours?
738
00:43:59,700 --> 00:44:00,722
Russell with the tiny penis?
739
00:44:00,822 --> 00:44:01,617
Bingo.
740
00:44:01,717 --> 00:44:03,076
Are you talking about me?
741
00:44:03,236 --> 00:44:05,156
Are you cold?
742
00:44:05,764 --> 00:44:07,397
Here. Take this.
743
00:44:07,556 --> 00:44:09,794
- No, no, it's okay.
- Take it.
744
00:44:09,894 --> 00:44:12,772
I could be dead soon. I won't need it.
745
00:44:20,996 --> 00:44:22,756
Now you take this.
746
00:44:23,044 --> 00:44:24,676
- No, don't worry about it.
- Take it.
747
00:44:24,964 --> 00:44:26,594
You give to me now, I give to you.
748
00:44:26,694 --> 00:44:29,476
it's helped me get to my new home.
749
00:44:29,860 --> 00:44:32,740
Maybe this'll help you get
where you have to go.
750
00:44:33,925 --> 00:44:34,925
Thanks.
751
00:44:37,540 --> 00:44:39,075
Damn it.
752
00:44:40,516 --> 00:44:43,393
They're coming.
753
00:44:44,452 --> 00:44:46,276
- You're crazy.
- It is true!
754
00:44:46,564 --> 00:44:48,484
Everyone in this country has a gun.
755
00:44:55,012 --> 00:44:56,932
There he goes!
756
00:45:04,420 --> 00:45:05,956
My coat. They think he's me.
757
00:45:06,436 --> 00:45:09,316
He's not, so he'll be okay.
Let's get out of here.
758
00:45:09,476 --> 00:45:11,730
Oh, hey, by the way...
759
00:45:11,830 --> 00:45:15,492
I speak Spanish fluently...
760
00:45:45,636 --> 00:45:47,076
Let's talk.
761
00:45:47,236 --> 00:45:48,996
- Why?
- I'm bored.
762
00:45:49,156 --> 00:45:50,156
I have nothing to say.
763
00:45:50,436 --> 00:45:52,836
I have nothing to say to you
We can still talk
764
00:45:53,765 --> 00:45:57,060
My parents proved that conclusively.
765
00:45:57,316 --> 00:45:59,076
What do you miss most
about the office?
766
00:45:59,236 --> 00:46:02,116
I don't miss anything.
I don't live in the past.
767
00:46:03,780 --> 00:46:04,836
What about Rita?
768
00:46:04,996 --> 00:46:08,676
God, I do miss Rita. Greatest cook
the White House ever had.
769
00:46:08,836 --> 00:46:12,516
The only cook the White House ever had.
She started with Washington.
770
00:46:12,676 --> 00:46:15,876
When I couldn’t sleep, I'd go
downstairs and she'd make a dessert
771
00:46:16,164 --> 00:46:19,236
It was cream puff with
raspberry sauce and, I don't know.....
772
00:46:20,452 --> 00:46:21,742
Did you ever had one of her pizzas?
773
00:46:21,842 --> 00:46:24,133
It was like a wet dream
with a crust.
774
00:46:25,156 --> 00:46:26,914
A wet dream?
775
00:46:27,014 --> 00:46:30,276
I don't need to hear Russell Kramer
saying the words, "wet dream."
776
00:46:30,564 --> 00:46:32,196
I'll wake up screaming every night.
777
00:46:32,580 --> 00:46:34,596
- There's nothing wrong with wet dreams.
- Stop.
778
00:46:34,756 --> 00:46:36,036
I had a few as a kid.
779
00:46:36,196 --> 00:46:39,076
I'll look for the exhibit
in your library.
780
00:46:41,476 --> 00:46:43,234
Okay. I got one.
781
00:46:43,334 --> 00:46:47,076
When you were in the White House,
who were you most excited to meet?
782
00:46:47,556 --> 00:46:48,556
Nelson Mandela
783
00:46:48,676 --> 00:46:50,916
- I'm not a reporter.
- Ella Fitzgerald.
784
00:46:51,076 --> 00:46:53,796
Mandela was a great man,
but he couldn't sing.
785
00:46:53,956 --> 00:46:56,836
Joe DiMaggio. That was a thrill.
786
00:47:01,956 --> 00:47:02,956
What?
787
00:47:04,836 --> 00:47:06,756
Eighty million.
788
00:47:07,812 --> 00:47:12,612
That's how many people
voted against me last time out.
789
00:47:14,436 --> 00:47:15,876
That's how many people didn't...
790
00:47:16,420 --> 00:47:19,236
...trust me, didn't...
791
00:47:19,396 --> 00:47:21,156
...like me...
792
00:47:21,284 --> 00:47:22,596
...didn't.....
793
00:47:23,076 --> 00:47:24,994
Who knows?
794
00:47:29,317 --> 00:47:33,157
I stayed in bed for a week and a half
after they voted me out.
795
00:47:37,572 --> 00:47:40,356
Let's stop talking.
We're about to bond. I'll vomit
796
00:47:40,837 --> 00:47:41,837
Go to hell.
797
00:47:41,956 --> 00:47:43,876
Now that's better.
798
00:47:45,092 --> 00:47:47,012
What time you got?
799
00:47:47,684 --> 00:47:49,602
Screw you.
800
00:47:51,332 --> 00:47:53,252
Hold it, hold it.
801
00:47:53,636 --> 00:47:55,556
I think I hear people.
802
00:48:04,260 --> 00:48:08,356
Wayne, slow down. That bacon
doesn't have wings... it won't fly away.
803
00:48:08,516 --> 00:48:11,396
I want to get back on the road.
804
00:48:12,261 --> 00:48:14,562
Sweet Jesus.
805
00:48:15,141 --> 00:48:16,516
Good morning.
806
00:48:16,740 --> 00:48:18,916
It's wonderful to see
an American family out...
807
00:48:19,300 --> 00:48:21,316
...enjoying the splendor of our land.
808
00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:22,756
President Kramer?
809
00:48:22,916 --> 00:48:25,636
Yes, ma'am.
I'm so pleased to meet you. Sit down.
810
00:48:25,957 --> 00:48:28,036
That's all. You can put it at ease.
811
00:48:28,260 --> 00:48:31,396
I'm on a fact-finding mission from
the Department of the interior.
812
00:48:31,620 --> 00:48:35,716
Are the rest areas conveniently
located and well maintained?
813
00:48:36,260 --> 00:48:38,180
Oh, yes, sir.
814
00:48:38,756 --> 00:48:39,729
'Morning.
815
00:48:39,829 --> 00:48:40,996
President Douglas.
816
00:48:41,156 --> 00:48:43,876
it's been a delight speaking to you.
817
00:48:44,036 --> 00:48:46,276
Don't forget, these woods
are your heritage.
818
00:48:46,692 --> 00:48:48,196
Enjoy them and protect them.
819
00:48:48,612 --> 00:48:50,116
They deserve our respect.
820
00:48:50,276 --> 00:48:51,636
These trees are like our children.
821
00:48:51,972 --> 00:48:54,852
Get in the damn car!
822
00:49:06,596 --> 00:49:08,836
We're just south of Galax, Virginia.
823
00:49:10,180 --> 00:49:11,716
In a few miles we hit 77.
824
00:49:11,876 --> 00:49:14,596
That takes us directly into Ohio.
We're fine.
825
00:49:14,756 --> 00:49:16,036
Unless we run into trouble.
826
00:49:16,356 --> 00:49:19,236
Which I predict we won't.
827
00:49:32,996 --> 00:49:35,236
If you told us how important
the mission was...
828
00:49:35,460 --> 00:49:37,636
...we'd have loaned you
the car straight out.
829
00:49:38,180 --> 00:49:41,956
Again, we apologize, but those boys
from the Department of the Interior...
830
00:49:42,116 --> 00:49:43,396
...can be very secretive.
831
00:49:43,621 --> 00:49:46,756
We're just happy you're headed
for Cleveland.
832
00:49:46,980 --> 00:49:48,676
We're happy to do our part.
833
00:49:48,996 --> 00:49:51,076
Another out-of-state license plate.
834
00:49:51,396 --> 00:49:52,996
We're hoping to spot all 50 states.
835
00:49:53,412 --> 00:49:54,436
We're getting there.
836
00:49:54,852 --> 00:49:56,836
Can anyone make that one out?
837
00:49:56,996 --> 00:49:58,916
Looks like a "U."
838
00:49:59,556 --> 00:50:00,556
Utah!
839
00:50:01,380 --> 00:50:03,556
That's a U.S. government plate.
840
00:50:03,716 --> 00:50:06,596
Guy looks like a cop.
841
00:50:09,636 --> 00:50:11,570
Hey, good buddy!
God bless America!
842
00:50:11,670 --> 00:50:13,033
Hey, good buddy!
God bless America!
843
00:50:13,133 --> 00:50:15,076
Keep on trucking!
844
00:50:15,236 --> 00:50:17,156
Wave, Kevin!
845
00:50:18,372 --> 00:50:20,836
He wasn't too friendly now,
was he?
846
00:50:20,996 --> 00:50:23,876
Mom, the Presidents are squishing me!
847
00:50:24,356 --> 00:50:26,276
Isn't this fun?
848
00:50:40,261 --> 00:50:43,397
We're never getting to Ohio.
Not the way this guy drives.
849
00:50:43,556 --> 00:50:46,277
Every 500 feet they stop to take
another damn picture.
850
00:50:46,436 --> 00:50:47,716
The Donner Party moved faster.
851
00:50:48,036 --> 00:50:50,916
Shut up. I'm trying to sleep.
852
00:50:52,196 --> 00:50:55,396
Oh, my God he's squeezing
my breast again.
853
00:50:55,716 --> 00:50:57,797
This time, pretend not to enjoy it.
854
00:50:58,212 --> 00:51:01,092
Shut your cakehole, Douglas.
855
00:51:10,116 --> 00:51:14,596
We'd have been fine outside in the tent,
but thanks for sharing the beds.
856
00:51:14,756 --> 00:51:17,476
It means a lot.
857
00:51:17,636 --> 00:51:20,516
You know, we voted for you.
858
00:51:23,460 --> 00:51:25,637
I'm sorry about that, sir.
859
00:51:26,052 --> 00:51:27,076
We're Republicans.
860
00:51:27,396 --> 00:51:29,477
At least you can admit it.
861
00:51:29,700 --> 00:51:32,836
That's the first step
towards recovery.
862
00:51:33,412 --> 00:51:34,947
I'm hot.
863
00:51:46,276 --> 00:51:48,036
How much longer to Cleveland?
864
00:51:48,516 --> 00:51:51,396
I may have to call the department,
tell them when to expect us.
865
00:51:51,876 --> 00:51:53,796
About eight to ten hours.
866
00:51:53,956 --> 00:51:55,716
After we drop you off...
867
00:51:56,196 --> 00:51:59,076
...I might take the family up
to see Mount Rushmore.
868
00:51:59,364 --> 00:52:01,476
One of America's greatest
natural wonders, son.
869
00:52:02,052 --> 00:52:04,356
Not really.
It's not a natural wonder
870
00:52:04,516 --> 00:52:07,716
A man by the name of
Gutzon Borglum carved it.
871
00:52:07,877 --> 00:52:09,797
Someone carved it?
872
00:52:10,596 --> 00:52:12,516
That ruins the whole thing.
873
00:52:14,116 --> 00:52:15,396
Diaper Patrol, Matt.
874
00:52:15,684 --> 00:52:17,796
We'll need those Pampers again.
875
00:52:17,956 --> 00:52:19,716
Oh, boy.....
876
00:52:19,876 --> 00:52:20,841
Is he healthy?
877
00:52:20,941 --> 00:52:22,596
Who's on Mount Rushmore?
878
00:52:23,172 --> 00:52:25,956
There's Abe Lincoln.
He chopped down the cherry tree.
879
00:52:26,116 --> 00:52:28,356
There's Franklin Theodore Roosevelt.
880
00:52:28,516 --> 00:52:31,236
He kilt him a bear
when he was only three.
881
00:52:31,396 --> 00:52:33,636
You got to be kidding, right?
882
00:52:33,796 --> 00:52:36,996
Lincoln's mixed up with Washington.
Roosevelt, with Davy Crockett.
883
00:52:37,285 --> 00:52:39,876
Do you have any idea
what you're talking about?
884
00:52:40,165 --> 00:52:42,756
No disrespect, sir,
but you're in my car.
885
00:52:43,301 --> 00:52:44,301
You're in my country.
886
00:52:44,484 --> 00:52:46,116
Our country.
Get your facts straight.
887
00:52:46,500 --> 00:52:48,996
How do you expect your son
to respect history?
888
00:52:49,156 --> 00:52:51,396
That kind of ignorance is dangerous.
889
00:52:51,972 --> 00:52:55,716
- What about our nation right now?
- Wayne, don't.
890
00:52:55,876 --> 00:52:58,236
The country's falling apart.
People are losing their homes.
891
00:52:58,500 --> 00:53:00,484
They can't find work.
892
00:53:00,612 --> 00:53:03,372
You're talking about ignorance.
You're the ignorant ones. Both of ya.
893
00:53:03,524 --> 00:53:05,284
You've ignored
the voice of the people.
894
00:53:05,796 --> 00:53:06,796
The voice of the people.
895
00:53:07,236 --> 00:53:08,644
There is no such thing.
896
00:53:08,964 --> 00:53:12,004
You got 240 million voices
all yelling for something different.
897
00:53:12,164 --> 00:53:15,364
The only thing you all agree on
is you don't want higher taxes.
898
00:53:15,524 --> 00:53:17,444
The voice of the people.
My fanny.
899
00:53:18,756 --> 00:53:20,676
Pull over, Wayne.
900
00:53:26,084 --> 00:53:29,924
Kevin, run, throw this
in the trash for Mama, okay?
901
00:53:31,044 --> 00:53:33,346
There we go.
902
00:53:36,644 --> 00:53:38,564
Please get out of our car.
903
00:53:40,484 --> 00:53:43,364
Listen, I'm sorry.....
904
00:53:46,917 --> 00:53:48,157
We invited you into our home...
905
00:53:48,420 --> 00:53:49,924
...not our car.
906
00:53:50,244 --> 00:53:51,971
Our home.
907
00:53:53,893 --> 00:53:59,653
We lost our jobs because of
your budget cuts, President Kramer.
908
00:54:00,164 --> 00:54:02,084
And we lost our home...
909
00:54:02,596 --> 00:54:03,845
...because of your...
910
00:54:04,356 --> 00:54:05,765
...economic downturn...
911
00:54:06,084 --> 00:54:07,685
...President Douglas.
912
00:54:08,196 --> 00:54:11,044
All we have now
is the slim chance of a job...
913
00:54:11,236 --> 00:54:14,116
...at my uncle's factory in Cleveland.
914
00:54:14,724 --> 00:54:17,604
So I will ask you once again.....
915
00:54:17,893 --> 00:54:19,205
Please...
916
00:54:19,396 --> 00:54:22,276
...get out of our car.
917
00:54:38,661 --> 00:54:39,717
Joe, it's me.
918
00:54:40,004 --> 00:54:42,116
Where are you?
What's going on?
919
00:54:42,597 --> 00:54:43,535
I'm with Kramer.
920
00:54:43,635 --> 00:54:44,502
Are you kidding me?
921
00:54:44,602 --> 00:54:47,397
Haney had Charlie Reynolds killed,
now they're trying to kill us.
922
00:54:47,653 --> 00:54:48,626
What? Haney?
923
00:54:48,726 --> 00:54:51,234
I'm pretty sure.
He sent Marine One for us.
924
00:54:51,334 --> 00:54:52,676
We escaped before it blew up.
925
00:54:52,836 --> 00:54:53,793
My God.
926
00:54:53,893 --> 00:54:56,996
I didn't want to call anyone,
but you're the only person I trust.
927
00:54:57,156 --> 00:54:59,874
Listen, get in touch
with the CIA contacts.
928
00:54:59,974 --> 00:55:02,276
See if they can find out
what this is about.
929
00:55:02,756 --> 00:55:03,756
Keep out of sight.
930
00:55:04,196 --> 00:55:05,196
It's okay.
931
00:55:05,316 --> 00:55:10,116
I haven't seen any NSA today
so I'm guessing we lost them.
932
00:55:21,156 --> 00:55:22,916
They're moving north.
933
00:55:23,204 --> 00:55:24,836
What a coincidence
934
00:55:25,316 --> 00:55:27,234
So are we.
935
00:55:42,692 --> 00:55:44,418
Oh, baby.
936
00:55:49,316 --> 00:55:50,281
Excuse me.
937
00:55:50,381 --> 00:55:52,196
How much is that piece of pie?
938
00:55:52,356 --> 00:55:53,356
$1.50.
939
00:55:56,996 --> 00:55:58,436
Never mind.
940
00:55:58,820 --> 00:56:00,740
But thank you.
941
00:56:06,116 --> 00:56:07,116
Here you go.
942
00:56:07,237 --> 00:56:08,237
It's on the house.
943
00:56:08,901 --> 00:56:10,436
I'm sorry I couldn't do that.
944
00:56:10,596 --> 00:56:13,476
I said it was on the house, old man.
945
00:56:13,957 --> 00:56:15,683
Old man?!
946
00:56:27,236 --> 00:56:28,771
Old man.
947
00:56:31,364 --> 00:56:32,996
Okay, let's go.
948
00:56:33,157 --> 00:56:34,114
What's wrong?
949
00:56:34,214 --> 00:56:37,316
I just want to get out of here.
I'm calling my wife.
950
00:56:37,700 --> 00:56:39,420
I don't give a damn
if the phone is tapped.
951
00:56:39,525 --> 00:56:44,325
Do what you want, but when the NSA
shows up, we'll know who gave us away.
952
00:57:03,812 --> 00:57:05,732
Good morning.
953
00:57:06,757 --> 00:57:07,757
Oh, my!
954
00:57:08,036 --> 00:57:09,956
Oh, my! is this for real?
955
00:57:10,436 --> 00:57:11,436
Is this a joke or what?
956
00:57:11,684 --> 00:57:14,276
- No, it's really us.
- No! Get out of here!
957
00:57:14,564 --> 00:57:15,514
Get out!
958
00:57:15,614 --> 00:57:17,636
What's wrong? Oh, my God!
959
00:57:18,116 --> 00:57:20,036
- President Douglas!
- And President Kramer!
960
00:57:20,324 --> 00:57:22,818
On our shift!
961
00:57:23,204 --> 00:57:25,314
We'd like to rent a car.
962
00:57:25,414 --> 00:57:28,676
We only have two cars left
because of the livestock auction.
963
00:57:28,964 --> 00:57:30,884
Would you like a Hyundai or a Lexus?
964
00:57:34,116 --> 00:57:36,836
- Stupid' stupid, stupid.
- Oh, I'm sorry!
965
00:57:36,996 --> 00:57:38,276
Miss Airhead at your service.
966
00:57:38,436 --> 00:57:42,276
Now we'll need to see
some identification, please.
967
00:58:00,644 --> 00:58:01,594
Well?
968
00:58:01,694 --> 00:58:04,676
What? I haven't driven myself
since my first year in the House.
969
00:58:05,252 --> 00:58:08,132
Give me a second.
970
00:58:20,420 --> 00:58:23,300
There, like riding a bike.
971
00:58:39,077 --> 00:58:42,980
Will you stop whistling please?
I'm trying to sleep over here.
972
00:58:43,204 --> 00:58:45,380
Sleeping too much
is a sign of depression.
973
00:58:45,541 --> 00:58:48,260
Keep whistling and I'll put
a depression in your skull.
974
00:58:48,612 --> 00:58:51,140
We've. got eight hours
before we get to the library.
975
00:58:51,301 --> 00:58:52,301
I'm trying to stay alert.
976
00:58:52,452 --> 00:58:53,452
I hate that song.
977
00:58:53,604 --> 00:58:56,401
- So do I
- I made up words to the damn thing.
978
00:58:56,501 --> 00:59:00,740
I made up words to "Hail to the Chief."
I sing them to myself when I hear it.
979
00:59:00,964 --> 00:59:02,180
I made up words too.
980
00:59:02,532 --> 00:59:04,100
- Let me hear yours.
- You go first.
981
00:59:04,452 --> 00:59:07,332
No, you do yours,
then I'll sing mine.
982
00:59:09,124 --> 00:59:11,780
"Hail to the Chief, he's the chief
and he needs hailing.
983
00:59:12,325 --> 00:59:16,165
"He is the Chief, so everybody
hail like crazy."
984
00:59:16,740 --> 00:59:19,620
That's more or less how it...
985
00:59:20,644 --> 00:59:23,300
Let's hear your version, Gershwin.
986
00:59:23,524 --> 00:59:25,220
"No?" I sang mine.
987
00:59:25,572 --> 00:59:27,492
You're an idiot.
988
00:59:38,404 --> 00:59:41,540
CNN's set up near the park.
Maybe you should put this on.
989
00:59:41,700 --> 00:59:43,460
Not so fast, Carl.
Slow down.
990
00:59:43,620 --> 00:59:46,340
I don't like people running faster
than I do. It makes me look poky.
991
00:59:46,692 --> 00:59:47,634
Sorry.
992
00:59:47,734 --> 00:59:49,516
Lakers? I thought
we were sold in Los Angeles.
993
00:59:49,700 --> 00:59:51,620
You cut back on disaster relief.
994
00:59:51,780 --> 00:59:53,540
Too fast again.
995
00:59:53,732 --> 00:59:57,572
I don't want to wear this
I'm a Houston fan
996
00:59:58,116 --> 01:00:00,036
Hey, a hat.
997
01:00:02,916 --> 01:00:04,100
Kaye Griffin called today.
998
01:00:04,484 --> 01:00:07,084
She's ready to report that Douglas
and Kramer have disappeared...
999
01:00:07,460 --> 01:00:09,860
...and are working to expose a cover-up.
1000
01:00:10,116 --> 01:00:11,300
I'll look into it.
1001
01:00:11,460 --> 01:00:15,300
You better. I want those idiots
found before they dig any deeper.
1002
01:00:27,813 --> 01:00:29,156
What are you doing?
1003
01:00:29,412 --> 01:00:31,076
I needed a cup of coffee.
1004
01:00:31,396 --> 01:00:32,996
Good. Did you get me one?
1005
01:00:33,444 --> 01:00:34,916
You cheap bastard.
1006
01:00:35,172 --> 01:00:36,836
I only had 50 cents.
1007
01:00:36,996 --> 01:00:37,961
Give me a sip.
1008
01:00:38,061 --> 01:00:42,116
Yeah, I'm about to share coffee with
the Washington love machine. No dice.
1009
01:00:42,372 --> 01:00:44,997
You could spit in a petri dish
and start a whole civilization.
1010
01:00:45,156 --> 01:00:48,036
- Here, want to lick the lid?
- Screw, you.
1011
01:00:48,516 --> 01:00:51,010
Give me that.
1012
01:00:53,316 --> 01:00:54,597
Decaf, you pussy.
1013
01:00:54,916 --> 01:00:57,796
I must go find a john.
1014
01:01:13,956 --> 01:01:14,913
Agent Wilkerson.
1015
01:01:15,013 --> 01:01:17,156
We have a reason to believe
your life is in danger.
1016
01:01:17,412 --> 01:01:20,292
We must transfer you out of the area.
1017
01:01:21,636 --> 01:01:23,397
"Aye, Macarena!"
1018
01:01:23,876 --> 01:01:26,277
If you could just step out
of the car...
1019
01:01:26,596 --> 01:01:27,747
Jesus!
1020
01:01:34,756 --> 01:01:35,702
Hurry up!
1021
01:01:35,802 --> 01:01:36,662
Get in!
1022
01:01:36,762 --> 01:01:37,865
Did we get collision coverage?
1023
01:01:37,965 --> 01:01:39,876
- Why?
- Nothing.
1024
01:01:42,564 --> 01:01:44,484
- Look out!
- Hold on!
1025
01:02:04,516 --> 01:02:05,637
Get it out.
1026
01:02:05,796 --> 01:02:07,076
I'm trying.
1027
01:02:07,236 --> 01:02:10,116
I can't see! Get it out!
1028
01:02:22,660 --> 01:02:23,260
Go!
1029
01:02:34,756 --> 01:02:37,636
- Nice going, Mario.
- Shut up.
1030
01:02:41,316 --> 01:02:42,316
That way!
1031
01:02:45,380 --> 01:02:47,874
Oh, not good.
1032
01:02:50,180 --> 01:02:52,100
Come on, let's go.
1033
01:02:57,060 --> 01:02:59,940
- Now what?
- Just blend in
1034
01:03:09,380 --> 01:03:10,380
How are you?
1035
01:03:10,565 --> 01:03:11,542
President Kramer?
1036
01:03:11,642 --> 01:03:13,540
President Douglas?
1037
01:03:13,701 --> 01:03:14,701
This is amazing.
1038
01:03:14,980 --> 01:03:17,860
We march in these all the time
1039
01:03:40,996 --> 01:03:41,996
My Lord and Taylor!
1040
01:03:43,204 --> 01:03:44,105
What are you doing?
1041
01:03:44,205 --> 01:03:44,940
Are you coming out?
1042
01:03:45,040 --> 01:03:46,660
No, no. I've always
supported gay rights.
1043
01:03:47,012 --> 01:03:49,892
I'm not coming out. He is.
1044
01:03:51,876 --> 01:03:52,900
Closet case. Sad
1045
01:03:54,052 --> 01:03:55,172
You talking about me?
1046
01:03:57,092 --> 01:03:58,706
Don't hide who you really are.
Be brave Here.
1047
01:03:58,806 --> 01:04:00,385
Don't hide who you really are.
Be brave. Here
1048
01:04:00,485 --> 01:04:02,020
it's a freedom-ring necklace.
1049
01:04:02,180 --> 01:04:04,100
Wear it with pride.
1050
01:04:05,252 --> 01:04:06,978
Come here
1051
01:04:08,421 --> 01:04:09,394
What's wrong?
1052
01:04:09,494 --> 01:04:10,660
I don't think you can help.
1053
01:04:10,884 --> 01:04:14,724
Unless you and your ruby slippers
can get us to Cuyahoga Falls.
1054
01:04:15,141 --> 01:04:18,021
I have some friends who might help.
1055
01:04:48,932 --> 01:04:52,932
After that bike ride, I'm changing
my position on an important issue.
1056
01:04:53,093 --> 01:04:56,772
I think the military can definitely
use some of those gals.
1057
01:04:56,933 --> 01:04:59,652
Now is this impressive or what?
1058
01:04:59,780 --> 01:05:02,052
Research room is down that way.
1059
01:05:02,212 --> 01:05:04,897
Wait a minute.
1060
01:05:06,500 --> 01:05:09,377
Oh, my. Oh, my.
1061
01:05:10,244 --> 01:05:13,121
How about this?
1062
01:05:17,093 --> 01:05:19,332
Oh, you got to be kidding.
1063
01:05:19,652 --> 01:05:23,172
Our dreams are like our children.
1064
01:05:23,492 --> 01:05:27,012
Don't you fall into the trap.
Democrats are full of crap.
1065
01:05:27,140 --> 01:05:29,892
Anything you really like,
I can get it for you at cost.
1066
01:05:30,052 --> 01:05:32,292
I feel dirty.
1067
01:05:32,453 --> 01:05:33,732
Have you found it yet?
1068
01:05:33,924 --> 01:05:36,132
Working on it.
You never got this.
1069
01:05:36,452 --> 01:05:38,052
I was Time's Man of the Year.
1070
01:05:38,372 --> 01:05:39,337
So was Hitler.
1071
01:05:39,437 --> 01:05:41,252
Not twice.
1072
01:05:42,212 --> 01:05:43,332
Here it is.
1073
01:05:43,524 --> 01:05:46,212
"Chef's log: October 14th,
lunch, Oval Office...
1074
01:05:46,340 --> 01:05:48,132
"...President Kramer
and Charles Reynolds.
1075
01:05:48,644 --> 01:05:53,444
"Ham-and-cheese omelettes.
$6.95 each." What...?
1076
01:05:55,652 --> 01:05:57,252
Where's Haney?
1077
01:05:57,572 --> 01:05:59,492
He isn't here.
1078
01:06:00,932 --> 01:06:04,772
They must've fixed this book too.
They knew we were coming.
1079
01:06:05,316 --> 01:06:06,372
Where's your gun?
1080
01:06:06,532 --> 01:06:07,532
I have it.
1081
01:06:07,716 --> 01:06:09,636
In my coat.
1082
01:06:10,820 --> 01:06:12,740
Get that light.
1083
01:06:32,484 --> 01:06:34,244
Great job, Douglas. Oh, God, it's Ben.
1084
01:06:35,780 --> 01:06:36,780
Hurry up with the ice.
1085
01:06:37,124 --> 01:06:39,492
Excuse me! I don't know my way
...around Kramer World.
1086
01:06:39,876 --> 01:06:42,852
Lucky for you we came along
when we did. You were in a bad way.
1087
01:06:43,236 --> 01:06:46,692
I can't say I recall that ever
happening before...
1088
01:06:46,852 --> 01:06:50,532
...a book just falling off
a shelf like that.
1089
01:06:50,852 --> 01:06:54,372
Is there any way someone
could have broken in here?
1090
01:06:54,565 --> 01:06:56,292
No, sir. Not on my shift.
1091
01:06:56,676 --> 01:07:00,132
I just remembered. A young lady
gave me an envelope for you.
1092
01:07:00,644 --> 01:07:01,818
Told me to be sure you got it.
1093
01:07:01,918 --> 01:07:05,732
She said she was a friend
from Washington.
1094
01:07:06,052 --> 01:07:07,332
What is this?
1095
01:07:07,460 --> 01:07:10,692
"Dear Mr. President:
My name is Kathleen Taylor.
1096
01:07:10,852 --> 01:07:14,532
"I'm Charles Reynolds' secretary.
1097
01:07:14,852 --> 01:07:17,892
"Mr. Reynolds has disappeared.
I don't know who to turn to.
1098
01:07:18,020 --> 01:07:21,732
"The last people he spoke with
were you, President Douglas...
1099
01:07:21,860 --> 01:07:24,132
...and Carl Witnaur."
1100
01:07:24,260 --> 01:07:26,532
Haney's chief of staff.
That son of a bitch.
1101
01:07:26,853 --> 01:07:28,932
He lives outside of D.C.
in Chevy Chase.
1102
01:07:29,316 --> 01:07:31,332
I was there recently for a dinner.
1103
01:07:31,524 --> 01:07:34,324
My God, did he put on a spread!
Those little chicken livers wrapped...
1104
01:07:34,533 --> 01:07:38,532
...with bacon on tooth picks...
And the dip for the broccoli.....
1105
01:07:38,916 --> 01:07:39,972
Could you focus, please!
1106
01:07:40,484 --> 01:07:42,372
I'm sorry. Look, if we left.....
1107
01:07:42,884 --> 01:07:45,732
If we left now, we could
get there by early morning.
1108
01:07:45,892 --> 01:07:47,652
We need to borrow your car, okay?
1109
01:07:48,036 --> 01:07:49,092
Do I have a choice?
1110
01:07:49,285 --> 01:07:51,205
Then it's okay.
1111
01:08:17,636 --> 01:08:18,636
Honey, you're hurting me.
1112
01:08:18,916 --> 01:08:20,036
Better her than me, Carl.
1113
01:08:20,516 --> 01:08:24,356
This is Douglas. I'm with Kramer
and a gun's pressed to your head.
1114
01:08:24,516 --> 01:08:27,396
Well, I'm assuming that's your head.
1115
01:08:30,724 --> 01:08:32,516
This is unbelievable.
1116
01:08:32,644 --> 01:08:33,644
How dare you?
1117
01:08:33,892 --> 01:08:35,876
Witnaur, we'll ask this just once.
1118
01:08:36,164 --> 01:08:38,276
What is Olympia and who is behind it?
1119
01:08:38,692 --> 01:08:40,612
I don't know what you talking about.
1120
01:08:56,997 --> 01:08:57,997
I'm glad to see you.
1121
01:08:58,244 --> 01:09:03,717
it's good to see you too, Joe.
We could use a little help out here.
1122
01:09:04,004 --> 01:09:05,156
Wait a minute.
1123
01:09:05,572 --> 01:09:10,372
Is that President Kramer holding
a gun on a naked guy in a blindfold?
1124
01:09:12,196 --> 01:09:14,306
Come on in.
1125
01:09:17,796 --> 01:09:20,516
Carl, my CIA buddies were clueless
about what you're up to...
1126
01:09:20,836 --> 01:09:22,917
...but they gave me something for this.
1127
01:09:23,396 --> 01:09:24,396
So, my boy...
1128
01:09:24,581 --> 01:09:27,236
...hope this goes well,
it's all new to me.
1129
01:09:27,524 --> 01:09:31,076
I'm not even sure
about the dosage but...
1130
01:09:31,301 --> 01:09:32,996
...what do you say we wing it?
1131
01:09:33,284 --> 01:09:34,916
You don't scare me.
1132
01:09:35,204 --> 01:09:36,198
I'm not trying to.
1133
01:09:36,298 --> 01:09:37,332
We don't want to see this.
1134
01:09:37,540 --> 01:09:39,460
Right. Enjoy the ride.
1135
01:09:52,516 --> 01:09:53,637
Damn vein.
1136
01:09:53,796 --> 01:09:55,557
it's wanting to jump around.
1137
01:09:55,684 --> 01:09:57,477
There it is, you bugger.
1138
01:09:57,764 --> 01:09:59,397
There it is.
1139
01:09:59,524 --> 01:10:00,836
I'll talk.
1140
01:10:01,317 --> 01:10:04,197
I'll talk... I like to talk.
1141
01:10:05,444 --> 01:10:07,364
it's amazing.
1142
01:10:07,685 --> 01:10:11,396
Haney needed to spin-dry the kickback
money. That's how Olympia came in.
1143
01:10:11,877 --> 01:10:13,316
It was a front company.
1144
01:10:13,797 --> 01:10:15,717
I never ordered anyone to kill you.
1145
01:10:16,132 --> 01:10:19,012
But you ordered the cover-up.
1146
01:10:19,205 --> 01:10:22,437
The appointment log
at the National Archives...
1147
01:10:22,660 --> 01:10:25,317
...the book in your library.....
1148
01:10:25,732 --> 01:10:27,237
All that was done at my request.
1149
01:10:27,460 --> 01:10:28,676
What about Charlie Reynolds?
1150
01:10:29,092 --> 01:10:30,564
Were you in charge to take care of him?
1151
01:10:30,664 --> 01:10:33,124
No, I never ordered anyone to kill him.
1152
01:10:35,812 --> 01:10:37,732
Who said he was dead?
1153
01:10:38,084 --> 01:10:39,717
Look, Tanner.
1154
01:10:39,940 --> 01:10:42,597
I'm telling you, it was Tanner.
This guy is out of control.
1155
01:10:42,756 --> 01:10:44,036
That's a lot of bull!
1156
01:10:44,452 --> 01:10:47,397
You're saying a rogue agent
turned hitman in your ranks?
1157
01:10:47,876 --> 01:10:49,317
I don't believe it.
1158
01:10:49,796 --> 01:10:52,356
You had Tanner put us on that chopper
and you pushed the button!
1159
01:10:52,676 --> 01:10:54,210
Chopper?
1160
01:10:55,012 --> 01:10:56,868
What chopper?
1161
01:11:00,420 --> 01:11:04,100
Looks like Tanner's been getting
his orders from Haney.
1162
01:11:04,516 --> 01:11:06,501
- What do we do?
- You got a few options.
1163
01:11:06,660 --> 01:11:09,842
You can go to the White House
and tell Haney what you know.
1164
01:11:09,942 --> 01:11:13,221
To get to him you must go
through Tanner, who'll kill you.
1165
01:11:13,573 --> 01:11:17,042
- What's the other one?
- You got a confession on tape.
1166
01:11:17,142 --> 01:11:18,500
Go to the press.
1167
01:11:18,852 --> 01:11:23,652
I'll call Kaye and by noon Washington
will be up to its knees in Olympia.
1168
01:11:25,380 --> 01:11:27,107
Call her?
1169
01:11:29,412 --> 01:11:32,292
You're doing the smart thing.
1170
01:11:33,124 --> 01:11:34,124
Damn!
1171
01:11:34,693 --> 01:11:35,658
Damn!
1172
01:11:35,758 --> 01:11:36,642
What?
1173
01:11:36,742 --> 01:11:40,101
If we go public,
there'll be another cover-up.
1174
01:11:40,324 --> 01:11:43,460
Witnaur might pay a price but
the big fish's going to get away.
1175
01:11:43,876 --> 01:11:45,842
Are we willing to let that happen?
1176
01:11:45,942 --> 01:11:47,844
We've done enough already.
1177
01:11:48,804 --> 01:11:50,661
No, I made a career of doing enough.
1178
01:11:51,204 --> 01:11:53,541
I always did just enough
not to piss anybody off...
1179
01:11:53,956 --> 01:11:55,866
...'cause a pissed-off person
won't vote for you.
1180
01:11:55,966 --> 01:11:57,381
it's a part of the game.
1181
01:11:57,733 --> 01:12:00,740
Tell that to Wayne and Jenny
and their kids living in their car.
1182
01:12:01,092 --> 01:12:02,660
"I'm sorry things are tough.
1183
01:12:02,884 --> 01:12:05,538
"I've been playing the game."
I can't play it anymore.
1184
01:12:05,638 --> 01:12:07,941
- I'm going to see Haney.
- Hold on, Rambo.
1185
01:12:08,100 --> 01:12:10,322
Joe said you can't get past Tanner.
1186
01:12:10,422 --> 01:12:11,420
I don't care. I'm going.
1187
01:12:11,524 --> 01:12:13,444
You're a damn fool.
1188
01:12:17,700 --> 01:12:19,620
You're probably right.
1189
01:12:20,100 --> 01:12:24,261
But you know something, somewhere
out there there's another fool.
1190
01:12:24,676 --> 01:12:29,476
Some idealist sucker
who still believes in us.
1191
01:12:30,244 --> 01:12:34,820
After all the scandals and
the party politics and all the bull...
1192
01:12:34,980 --> 01:12:39,140
...someone out there believes we care
and will do what we promise.
1193
01:12:39,364 --> 01:12:42,500
And that's what I'm doing now.
I'm doing what I promised.
1194
01:12:42,916 --> 01:12:44,900
Preserve, protect and defend.
1195
01:12:45,124 --> 01:12:46,340
Because if we lose that...
1196
01:12:46,884 --> 01:12:51,140
...idealistic, gloriously
deluded fool out there, hey...
1197
01:12:51,300 --> 01:12:53,220
...it's all over.
1198
01:12:54,724 --> 01:12:57,380
Thank God you never spoke
like this during our debates.
1199
01:12:57,796 --> 01:13:00,676
My margin of loss
would've been staggering.
1200
01:13:03,300 --> 01:13:04,300
All right.
1201
01:13:04,932 --> 01:13:06,020
Let's do it.
1202
01:13:06,372 --> 01:13:07,322
You sure?
1203
01:13:07,422 --> 01:13:11,762
If I can ride 300 miles at top speed
holding onto a lesbian's midsection...
1204
01:13:11,862 --> 01:13:12,860
...I can handle Tanner.
1205
01:13:13,092 --> 01:13:15,140
If we do get to Haney.
1206
01:13:15,492 --> 01:13:17,060
...how do we know he'll cooperate?
1207
01:13:17,284 --> 01:13:20,900
I'm bringing Witnaur with us.
Learn from the master.
1208
01:13:21,252 --> 01:13:22,252
Gentlemen...
1209
01:13:22,564 --> 01:13:24,242
...Kaye's on her way over.
1210
01:13:24,342 --> 01:13:29,093
Change of plans. Mr. Kramer and
Mr. Douglas are going to Washington.
1211
01:13:37,733 --> 01:13:41,573
Kramer and Douglas broke into
Witnaur's house and kidnapped him.
1212
01:13:41,764 --> 01:13:43,076
We're just now hearing about it?
1213
01:13:43,493 --> 01:13:45,476
His lady called the White House.
1214
01:13:45,604 --> 01:13:47,204
- They thought it was a prank.
- Enough.
1215
01:13:47,396 --> 01:13:50,756
We better button up the White House.
If they get to the president...
1216
01:13:50,884 --> 01:13:52,804
...the game's over.
1217
01:14:03,653 --> 01:14:04,626
'Morning, Rita.
1218
01:14:04,726 --> 01:14:05,656
How're you?
1219
01:14:05,756 --> 01:14:08,516
I'd be doing better if I had
your blueberry muffins.
1220
01:14:08,676 --> 01:14:12,356
Soon as I tend to the president,
I'll see what I can do.
1221
01:14:12,516 --> 01:14:13,516
What's back there?
1222
01:14:13,732 --> 01:14:17,156
Picked up a lot of fresh produce
at the farmer's market.
1223
01:14:17,572 --> 01:14:19,492
Have a pick if you like.
1224
01:14:20,452 --> 01:14:22,916
That's okay, Rita.
You have a good one.
1225
01:14:23,076 --> 01:14:24,076
Thanks.
1226
01:14:30,820 --> 01:14:32,516
"Have a pick if you like"?
1227
01:14:32,804 --> 01:14:35,444
- You're lucky I didn't have a stroke.
- Wasn't that little risky?
1228
01:14:37,253 --> 01:14:38,346
Mr. Presidents, please hush up.
1229
01:14:38,446 --> 01:14:40,420
If you're in my car, you're produce.
1230
01:14:43,300 --> 01:14:44,996
Mr. President...
1231
01:14:45,220 --> 01:14:47,140
...we're ready' sir.
1232
01:14:48,004 --> 01:14:51,716
The ceremony honoring the Dutch
resistance during World War II?
1233
01:14:52,004 --> 01:14:56,036
Highlight of my day. Who cares
about the damn Dutch anyway?
1234
01:14:56,164 --> 01:14:58,436
Vice President Mathews is going?
1235
01:14:58,564 --> 01:15:00,836
Let's avoid a possible
embarrassment, okay?
1236
01:15:01,060 --> 01:15:05,636
Remind him these people are from
the Netherlands, not nether regions.
1237
01:15:05,924 --> 01:15:07,556
Oh, and...
1238
01:15:07,780 --> 01:15:08,996
...have we heard from Witnaur?
1239
01:15:09,412 --> 01:15:10,436
No, Mr. President.
1240
01:15:10,724 --> 01:15:12,642
Thank you.
1241
01:15:15,236 --> 01:15:17,236
Gather around everyone.
The tour's about to begin.
1242
01:15:17,380 --> 01:15:18,380
Come on in.
1243
01:15:18,532 --> 01:15:19,556
Come in, you in the back.
1244
01:15:20,036 --> 01:15:21,476
We can't go that way.
1245
01:15:21,892 --> 01:15:23,972
A million people come to
the White House every year.
1246
01:15:24,356 --> 01:15:27,716
Better smile, they'll know
we're here in ten seconds.
1247
01:15:28,196 --> 01:15:29,730
Come on.
1248
01:15:31,204 --> 01:15:32,996
Are you ready for the tour?
1249
01:15:33,124 --> 01:15:35,604
- What are you doing?!
- It's the only way we'll get to Haney.
1250
01:15:35,812 --> 01:15:36,836
Mr. President...
1251
01:15:36,964 --> 01:15:38,276
...and Mr. President.
1252
01:15:38,436 --> 01:15:41,156
The tour guides are the hardest
working people in the White House.
1253
01:15:41,477 --> 01:15:43,076
As a way of saying "Thank you"...
1254
01:15:43,236 --> 01:15:45,956
...President Kramer and I
lead your tour ourselves.
1255
01:15:46,116 --> 01:15:47,116
We'll what?
1256
01:15:47,332 --> 01:15:48,836
You get the Oval Office.....
1257
01:15:53,092 --> 01:15:54,345
Who knows this place better than us?
1258
01:15:54,445 --> 01:15:55,257
Let's go. Gather around.
1259
01:15:55,716 --> 01:15:57,476
Follow your presidents.
1260
01:15:57,892 --> 01:16:01,732
Come along.
This is going to be fun for you.
1261
01:16:06,596 --> 01:16:08,036
...they're in.
1262
01:16:08,196 --> 01:16:09,476
- How?
- They used the tour.
1263
01:16:09,764 --> 01:16:10,916
This is the Green Room.
1264
01:16:11,141 --> 01:16:12,206
- It's a room
- it's green.
1265
01:16:12,306 --> 01:16:13,234
Hence the name.
1266
01:16:13,334 --> 01:16:14,237
- Any questions?
- Not me.
1267
01:16:14,337 --> 01:16:15,716
Okay, shall we?
1268
01:16:16,196 --> 01:16:17,190
That's it?
1269
01:16:17,290 --> 01:16:18,596
Go, go, go.
1270
01:16:18,724 --> 01:16:20,516
We grab them as soon as we can.
1271
01:16:20,741 --> 01:16:22,436
Lots of people have seen them.
1272
01:16:22,661 --> 01:16:25,316
They met here to take the chopper
to the ceremonies...
1273
01:16:25,636 --> 01:16:28,516
...where the president
was to meet them later.
1274
01:16:30,756 --> 01:16:34,436
The crash site is still secure
We just adjust the time of the crash.
1275
01:16:34,724 --> 01:16:35,681
It could work.
1276
01:16:35,781 --> 01:16:38,500
I'll stay near Hayne.
As soon as you get them, call me.
1277
01:16:40,196 --> 01:16:42,596
Occasionally we. use this
as a shortcut to the Oval Office.
1278
01:16:42,724 --> 01:16:47,524
Let's pick up the pace.
The older folks are dragging us down.
1279
01:16:52,292 --> 01:16:54,756
There's no way they can
get out of the building.
1280
01:16:54,980 --> 01:16:57,156
We've sealed off the West Wing.
1281
01:16:57,573 --> 01:16:59,493
Guest quarters.
1282
01:17:10,053 --> 01:17:11,076
Unlock the door.
1283
01:17:11,236 --> 01:17:12,182
Come on.
1284
01:17:12,282 --> 01:17:13,508
That desk belonged to Jefferson.
1285
01:17:13,700 --> 01:17:16,356
The Declaration of Independence
could have been written on it.
1286
01:17:16,484 --> 01:17:19,236
Tom isn't here to help me
pick it up, so move your ass!
1287
01:17:19,652 --> 01:17:21,636
Mr. Presidents, please!
1288
01:17:21,860 --> 01:17:24,996
When we think of the Netherlands,
no doubt we have images of...
1289
01:17:25,412 --> 01:17:28,836
...a tranquil land dotted
with picturesque windmills.
1290
01:17:29,252 --> 01:17:32,676
Good. Secure the room,
but do not move in until I get there.
1291
01:17:33,092 --> 01:17:35,972
And Wilkerson, call the press.
1292
01:17:39,812 --> 01:17:42,276
I found Haney. He's on the South Lawn.
1293
01:17:42,692 --> 01:17:43,716
I don't like this.
1294
01:17:44,261 --> 01:17:47,556
They've pinned us here for 15 minutes.
What're they doing?
1295
01:17:47,716 --> 01:17:49,636
Preparing for our funeral.
1296
01:17:50,084 --> 01:17:52,356
The report just came in
from the White House.
1297
01:17:52,612 --> 01:17:56,196
The helicopter went down
over the Blue Ridge mountains.
1298
01:17:56,356 --> 01:17:59,556
President Kramer and President Douglas
were reportedly on board.
1299
01:17:59,812 --> 01:18:02,692
Search teams are speeding to the area.
1300
01:18:09,572 --> 01:18:12,066
Phone's dead.
1301
01:18:12,836 --> 01:18:13,956
What are you doing?
1302
01:18:14,212 --> 01:18:18,756
During my years here, a butler told me
about a secret door in this room
1303
01:18:18,916 --> 01:18:23,556
The "Kennedy Door" he called it.
I think it was just a story.
1304
01:18:23,812 --> 01:18:25,539
It's here
1305
01:18:26,276 --> 01:18:28,196
I almost forgot.
1306
01:18:32,932 --> 01:18:34,116
What are you looking at?
1307
01:18:34,564 --> 01:18:37,956
You been down to the farmer's
market lately? it's brutal.
1308
01:18:38,500 --> 01:18:41,796
I used this thing for a couple of
midnight rendezvous.
1309
01:18:42,117 --> 01:18:43,716
I'll never forget this one girl...
1310
01:18:44,132 --> 01:18:45,636
She was a stewardess.
1311
01:18:45,892 --> 01:18:46,892
I don't need to know.
1312
01:18:47,140 --> 01:18:48,516
She was also a contortionist.
1313
01:18:48,932 --> 01:18:49,878
Go on.
1314
01:18:49,978 --> 01:18:50,924
She... Later.
1315
01:18:51,172 --> 01:18:54,052
Right now, we must
get to that ceremony.
1316
01:18:55,780 --> 01:18:59,076
If we can get ourselves seen
on TV everyone will know...
1317
01:18:59,204 --> 01:19:00,996
...we're not dead in the mountains...
1318
01:19:01,540 --> 01:19:04,420
...and tanner is out of business.
1319
01:19:05,476 --> 01:19:07,202
Break it.
1320
01:19:17,476 --> 01:19:19,396
Where the hell are they?
1321
01:19:20,932 --> 01:19:21,932
Hurry up.
1322
01:19:22,180 --> 01:19:27,940
Be glad I'm not Gerry Ford. We would
be lying at the bottom of the stairs.
1323
01:19:30,052 --> 01:19:33,636
It's been a while, but I think
the way out is down to the left.
1324
01:19:33,796 --> 01:19:36,037
God, this whole thing is crazy.
1325
01:19:36,164 --> 01:19:39,877
I can't figure how a twisted psycho
like Tanner end up in the NSA.
1326
01:19:40,420 --> 01:19:44,260
I know. Why isn't he
in the postal service where he belongs?
1327
01:19:45,412 --> 01:19:46,365
Great.
1328
01:19:46,465 --> 01:19:47,557
"down and to the left."
1329
01:19:47,876 --> 01:19:51,397
Oh, cork it.
It's not the end of the world.
1330
01:19:51,524 --> 01:19:52,836
Hello, sirs.
1331
01:19:53,252 --> 01:19:57,092
No need for concern
it's only me, the twisted psycho.
1332
01:19:57,476 --> 01:19:59,077
We won't have a long chat.
1333
01:19:59,396 --> 01:20:02,917
I don't think I can stand to listen
to you for another second.
1334
01:20:03,076 --> 01:20:04,076
I'll just kill you.
1335
01:20:05,252 --> 01:20:06,757
Who goes first?
1336
01:20:07,300 --> 01:20:10,180
The old man, or the ladies' man?
1337
01:20:15,076 --> 01:20:16,357
Nice work, Russell.
1338
01:20:16,772 --> 01:20:18,690
Thank you.
1339
01:20:19,492 --> 01:20:22,436
I must change my shorts now.
1340
01:20:28,676 --> 01:20:31,556
Pennsylvania Avenue's almost clear.
1341
01:20:34,436 --> 01:20:35,716
Here we are.
1342
01:20:35,876 --> 01:20:38,596
Watch it, watch it.
1343
01:20:38,820 --> 01:20:41,956
It's the North Lawn. We're on
the other side of where we want to be.
1344
01:20:42,116 --> 01:20:43,116
Good going.
1345
01:20:43,332 --> 01:20:46,212
I didn't build the damn tunnel
1346
01:20:48,356 --> 01:20:50,116
- Now what?
- Who am I, fucking MacGyver?
1347
01:20:50,532 --> 01:20:52,036
I make this up as I go along.
1348
01:20:52,580 --> 01:20:54,500
Over there!
1349
01:20:58,820 --> 01:21:00,354
Hang on!
1350
01:21:03,876 --> 01:21:04,916
Hold it! Stop right there!
1351
01:21:05,060 --> 01:21:07,876
Get off the horse!
1352
01:21:08,292 --> 01:21:10,276
We can't get cars through the block.
1353
01:21:10,500 --> 01:21:13,380
Run after them, I'll cut them off.
1354
01:21:19,556 --> 01:21:24,356
When this is over, let's come back
and look for my balls.
1355
01:21:26,756 --> 01:21:28,676
Mr. Presidents, stop!
1356
01:21:30,756 --> 01:21:34,276
Marksmen, intruders, North Lawn.
This is Tanner going to intercept.
1357
01:21:34,692 --> 01:21:35,716
Shoot to kill!
1358
01:21:35,941 --> 01:21:38,821
We're moving into position now.
1359
01:21:48,996 --> 01:21:50,596
Wait, hold your fire.
1360
01:21:51,140 --> 01:21:52,598
That's Presidents Kramer and Douglas.
1361
01:21:52,698 --> 01:21:53,649
That's impossible!
1362
01:21:53,749 --> 01:21:54,916
The presidents are dead!
1363
01:21:55,332 --> 01:21:57,252
Shoot them!
1364
01:21:58,916 --> 01:22:01,636
Repositioning to the south.
1365
01:22:01,796 --> 01:22:06,596
These people, bound by love of country,
risked their lives
1366
01:22:07,076 --> 01:22:08,996
Open the gate!
1367
01:22:12,260 --> 01:22:13,260
Nice horsey.
1368
01:22:13,604 --> 01:22:15,138
Oh, God!
1369
01:22:16,132 --> 01:22:18,052
On your command, sir.
1370
01:22:23,620 --> 01:22:24,940
I gave you a direct order! Shoot!
1371
01:22:25,636 --> 01:22:26,916
Lieutenant Fleming...
1372
01:22:27,077 --> 01:22:29,957
...request... permission to shoot.
1373
01:22:32,837 --> 01:22:33,837
Duck!
1374
01:22:34,532 --> 01:22:36,452
It was a struggle for democracy.
1375
01:22:37,796 --> 01:22:38,916
For truth
1376
01:22:39,076 --> 01:22:41,956
We must fire, sir!
1377
01:22:44,996 --> 01:22:47,876
It was a struggle
between life and death.
1378
01:22:56,804 --> 01:22:58,724
Those are the presidents.
1379
01:23:05,572 --> 01:23:08,178
In conclusion, I'd like to say that...
1380
01:23:08,278 --> 01:23:10,596
...it is our pleasure to welcome...
1381
01:23:10,756 --> 01:23:13,636
...these Dutch resistance fighters
here...
1382
01:23:16,997 --> 01:23:19,716
Would somebody go collect Blinky?
1383
01:23:20,516 --> 01:23:22,116
Let him come ahead.
1384
01:23:22,276 --> 01:23:24,036
What a surprise!
1385
01:23:24,164 --> 01:23:28,004
Ladies gentlemen
President Matthew Douglas.
1386
01:23:30,052 --> 01:23:31,716
Thank you. Thank you.
1387
01:23:31,844 --> 01:23:33,156
We have to talk...
1388
01:23:33,284 --> 01:23:34,627
...now.
1389
01:23:38,117 --> 01:23:40,740
Haney had to spin-dry
the kickback money.
1390
01:23:41,220 --> 01:23:42,300
That's how Olympia came in.
1391
01:23:42,660 --> 01:23:43,660
Russell, please.
1392
01:23:43,781 --> 01:23:45,027
There must be a way around this.
1393
01:23:45,127 --> 01:23:46,500
I'll give you anything you want.
1394
01:23:46,661 --> 01:23:47,626
I have money.
1395
01:23:47,726 --> 01:23:51,780
Pardon? Are you honestly saying that
Russell P. Kramer can be bought?
1396
01:23:52,324 --> 01:23:53,289
Shut up.
1397
01:23:53,389 --> 01:23:56,100
Why resign? I know nothing about
Reynold's death or the crash.
1398
01:23:56,644 --> 01:23:58,980
Okay, all right.
I admit I used the office.
1399
01:23:59,141 --> 01:24:01,380
But how is that different
from what you're doing?
1400
01:24:01,636 --> 01:24:02,916
You made money from this office.
1401
01:24:03,300 --> 01:24:04,300
Two things.
1402
01:24:04,645 --> 01:24:07,140
One... I never did anything illegal.
1403
01:24:07,525 --> 01:24:09,060
Big difference. Two...
1404
01:24:09,316 --> 01:24:10,500
I never did it for money.
1405
01:24:10,884 --> 01:24:13,380
- Come on! Sure you did!
- No, no, you just don't get it.
1406
01:24:13,860 --> 01:24:18,180
My books, personal appearances, I do
them so people still know I'm here.
1407
01:24:18,564 --> 01:24:20,484
So they don't forget me.
1408
01:24:22,660 --> 01:24:26,340
And so I can get
just a little taste of...
1409
01:24:26,820 --> 01:24:29,700
...what it's like to be...
1410
01:24:31,781 --> 01:24:34,466
...what I was.
1411
01:24:37,764 --> 01:24:39,300
This office has done a lot for me!
1412
01:24:39,620 --> 01:24:42,500
Now I'll do something for it...
get you out!
1413
01:24:44,644 --> 01:24:47,940
Excuse me, sirs. I'm Agent Kopeck,
in charge of the White House detail.
1414
01:24:48,420 --> 01:24:50,340
This is Officer Ralph Fleming.
1415
01:24:50,724 --> 01:24:51,780
He stopped Colonel Tanner.
1416
01:24:52,260 --> 01:24:53,700
Thank you Ralph.
1417
01:24:53,861 --> 01:24:54,826
You saved our lives.
1418
01:24:54,926 --> 01:24:56,132
it's an honor to meet you, son.
1419
01:24:56,484 --> 01:24:58,020
Actually, we've met before...
1420
01:24:58,180 --> 01:24:59,940
We have? Where?
1421
01:25:00,100 --> 01:25:02,980
Somewhere... "over the rainbow."
1422
01:25:18,180 --> 01:25:19,652
And so...
1423
01:25:19,812 --> 01:25:21,572
...it is with a heavy heart...
1424
01:25:22,020 --> 01:25:24,900
...and ironically, a weak heart...
1425
01:25:25,924 --> 01:25:27,332
...that I resign...
1426
01:25:27,684 --> 01:25:30,212
...from the office of
President of the United States.
1427
01:25:30,724 --> 01:25:32,132
Poor President Haney.
1428
01:25:32,356 --> 01:25:35,012
Don't you worry, Rita.
He'll be just fine.
1429
01:25:35,524 --> 01:25:37,892
You haven't lost your touch.
1430
01:25:38,340 --> 01:25:40,292
I miss you too.
1431
01:25:40,452 --> 01:25:45,092
I was finally getting used to him.
Now I must start all over again.
1432
01:25:45,540 --> 01:25:48,420
President Matthews.
1433
01:25:49,636 --> 01:25:52,772
Who would have ever thought of that?
1434
01:25:52,996 --> 01:25:54,692
President Matthews.
1435
01:25:54,853 --> 01:25:59,492
There's only one way that moron
was ever going to become...
1436
01:25:59,653 --> 01:26:00,603
...president.
1437
01:26:00,703 --> 01:26:02,372
Either Haney would be assassinated...
1438
01:26:02,724 --> 01:26:04,644
...or he'd have to...
1439
01:26:06,436 --> 01:26:07,652
...resign.
1440
01:26:08,004 --> 01:26:11,492
I'm convinced that
it's for the nation's good...
1441
01:26:11,652 --> 01:26:14,372
...that I step aside.
1442
01:26:14,884 --> 01:26:16,292
Two more minutes.
1443
01:26:16,452 --> 01:26:17,732
Thank you. I'll be ready.
1444
01:26:18,180 --> 01:26:20,612
We need to talk, and right now.
1445
01:26:20,773 --> 01:26:23,012
Will you excuse us a minute?
1446
01:26:23,364 --> 01:26:24,364
What's up?
1447
01:26:24,484 --> 01:26:26,852
- We figured it out.
- You'll never get away with it.
1448
01:26:27,076 --> 01:26:30,212
I already did. Chief Justice Rehnquist
just swore me in.
1449
01:26:30,373 --> 01:26:34,052
I'm about to go on television
and reluctantly accept my charge.
1450
01:26:34,404 --> 01:26:35,492
You sent Tanner to kill us.
1451
01:26:35,940 --> 01:26:38,340
We investigate Olympia, wind up dead,
it gets tied to Haney.
1452
01:26:38,884 --> 01:26:40,772
Either way, he goes down.
1453
01:26:40,996 --> 01:26:42,212
You're right.
1454
01:26:42,564 --> 01:26:44,612
Only a few unfortunate deaths...
1455
01:26:44,964 --> 01:26:47,012
...but they can be blamed on Tanner.
1456
01:26:47,364 --> 01:26:49,412
He won't be a Joint Chief after all.
1457
01:26:49,860 --> 01:26:52,772
How do you explain us being here?
Are we both dead?
1458
01:26:53,220 --> 01:26:55,172
Your chopper definitely went down.
1459
01:26:55,333 --> 01:26:57,572
Thankfully it turned out
you weren't on board.
1460
01:26:58,084 --> 01:27:02,372
Press secretary's already apologized
for any confusion.
1461
01:27:02,756 --> 01:27:03,702
Thirty seconds.
1462
01:27:03,802 --> 01:27:04,726
Thank you.
1463
01:27:04,826 --> 01:27:05,804
Well, gentlemen...
1464
01:27:06,180 --> 01:27:10,020
...if you ask me, this whole thing's
been a real coup.
1465
01:27:10,500 --> 01:27:11,972
Funny thing, isn't it?
1466
01:27:12,132 --> 01:27:14,372
Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
1467
01:27:14,533 --> 01:27:18,373
But nobody knows it was
all just a big facade.
1468
01:27:20,484 --> 01:27:22,404
Who's the idiot now?
1469
01:27:31,172 --> 01:27:33,092
- Good to see you.
- Welcome home, sir.
1470
01:27:37,636 --> 01:27:38,796
I guess that's all she wrote.
1471
01:27:41,092 --> 01:27:43,972
Want to know what
gives me the red ass?
1472
01:27:44,420 --> 01:27:46,180
He damn near got away with it.
1473
01:27:46,436 --> 01:27:48,580
What do you mean "damn near"?
1474
01:27:48,836 --> 01:27:50,500
You got the whole conversation on tape?
1475
01:27:50,852 --> 01:27:52,900
I learned from the master.
1476
01:27:53,252 --> 01:27:57,700
The only problem is if I drop this off
at CNN Matthews gets thrown out...
1477
01:27:57,956 --> 01:27:59,620
...according to the 25th Amendment...
1478
01:27:59,844 --> 01:28:01,786
...the Speaker of the House
will become president.
1479
01:28:01,886 --> 01:28:03,460
God, anybody but him.
1480
01:28:03,620 --> 01:28:04,620
Tell me about it.
1481
01:28:04,772 --> 01:28:07,780
But I guess we have no choice.
We did everything we could.
1482
01:28:08,260 --> 01:28:12,580
I'll go home, kiss my wife, take
a shower and go to bed for a month.
1483
01:28:12,741 --> 01:28:14,020
Sounds good.
1484
01:28:14,565 --> 01:28:16,900
You know something? I must tell you.....
1485
01:28:17,156 --> 01:28:20,721
After going through this whole thing...
1486
01:28:20,821 --> 01:28:22,660
...I’ve realized...
1487
01:28:23,140 --> 01:28:24,220
...I really don't like you.
1488
01:28:24,580 --> 01:28:25,580
No kidding.
1489
01:28:25,733 --> 01:28:28,420
That's not what I wanted to say.
1490
01:28:28,676 --> 01:28:30,596
The thing is...
1491
01:28:31,076 --> 01:28:33,220
...I don't like you.
1492
01:28:33,476 --> 01:28:34,627
But...
1493
01:28:35,812 --> 01:28:38,020
...I think I'm going to...
1494
01:28:38,276 --> 01:28:40,196
...miss you.
1495
01:28:42,020 --> 01:28:44,738
If we hadn't spent 30 years
hating each other's guts...
1496
01:28:44,838 --> 01:28:47,122
...we might have been...
1497
01:28:47,222 --> 01:28:49,125
...friends.
1498
01:28:52,676 --> 01:28:54,340
I think I'll stop there...
1499
01:28:54,500 --> 01:28:58,340
...because I feel the goat cheese
pizza backing up on me.
1500
01:29:04,356 --> 01:29:05,309
You take care of yourself.
1501
01:29:05,409 --> 01:29:06,148
And...
1502
01:29:06,248 --> 01:29:06,994
...don't jump off trains.
1503
01:29:07,094 --> 01:29:08,242
I was pushed.
1504
01:29:08,342 --> 01:29:10,245
Same difference.
1505
01:29:20,132 --> 01:29:23,620
"Hail to the Chief, if you don't
I'll have to kill you.
1506
01:29:23,780 --> 01:29:25,060
"I am the Chief.
1507
01:29:25,444 --> 01:29:28,402
"So you better watch your step,
you bastards."
1508
01:29:28,502 --> 01:29:30,405
We're even.
1509
01:29:42,596 --> 01:29:44,516
I was told what you went through.
1510
01:29:45,092 --> 01:29:47,012
It's amazing.
1511
01:29:48,293 --> 01:29:50,532
Yes, I guess it was.
1512
01:29:50,692 --> 01:29:54,532
Now you can go home to Cleveland
for a well-deserved rest.
1513
01:29:55,365 --> 01:29:58,245
When it comes time for a rest...
1514
01:29:58,853 --> 01:30:01,733
...there's no place like Cleveland.
1515
01:30:03,332 --> 01:30:05,412
This must've been
a difficult experience.
1516
01:30:05,732 --> 01:30:06,852
It was pretty bad.
1517
01:30:07,172 --> 01:30:09,252
But on some level...
1518
01:30:09,700 --> 01:30:11,172
...I enjoyed it.
1519
01:30:12,260 --> 01:30:14,372
It was just nice to do something and...
1520
01:30:14,692 --> 01:30:15,972
...have a goal again.
1521
01:30:16,484 --> 01:30:19,332
I think it was a great service
you did for your country.
1522
01:30:19,556 --> 01:30:22,436
Most people would've given up.
1523
01:30:22,916 --> 01:30:26,532
You and President Kramer
did everything you could.
1524
01:30:27,588 --> 01:30:29,860
I'm proud to be attached to you.
1525
01:30:37,124 --> 01:30:38,124
No, Chet...
1526
01:30:38,564 --> 01:30:40,452
...you're wrong.
1527
01:30:40,772 --> 01:30:43,652
We didn't do everything we could.
1528
01:30:44,132 --> 01:30:46,692
Nine months after he took
the oath of office...
1529
01:30:46,916 --> 01:30:49,572
...former president and
convicted felon Ted Matthews.
1530
01:30:49,732 --> 01:30:53,892
...today began serving his sentence at
a federal prison in Stafford, Virginia.
1531
01:30:54,212 --> 01:30:57,252
But, unlike other political
scandals of the past...
1532
01:30:57,412 --> 01:31:00,132
...this one as spawned
an unusual coupling.
1533
01:31:00,356 --> 01:31:05,156
For that story, we take you
to correspondent Kaye Griffin.
1534
01:31:06,884 --> 01:31:09,732
Two of America's biggest
political rivals are making history.
1535
01:31:10,053 --> 01:31:15,012
Running together as independents are
ex-Presidents Kramer and Douglas.
1536
01:31:15,460 --> 01:31:18,340
I come to this country
with those fellows.
1537
01:31:18,532 --> 01:31:19,482
However...
1538
01:31:19,582 --> 01:31:23,172
...we don't know who will be running
as president and who as vice president.
1539
01:31:23,684 --> 01:31:28,484
I'm not ashamed to say it,
I slept with both those guys.
1540
01:31:30,404 --> 01:31:31,812
My love.
1541
01:31:32,260 --> 01:31:34,212
- Any words of wisdom?
- Of course.
1542
01:31:34,532 --> 01:31:35,652
Don't be a frigging fool.
1543
01:31:36,164 --> 01:31:39,492
Please, if you're going to use
the F-word, go for the gold.
1544
01:31:39,813 --> 01:31:40,932
Excuse us.
1545
01:31:41,381 --> 01:31:43,812
- Ready to face the voting public?
- Let's do it.
1546
01:31:45,060 --> 01:31:46,212
I'll make the announcement.
1547
01:31:46,372 --> 01:31:49,092
You're saying I'm going
to be president...
1548
01:31:49,413 --> 01:31:51,972
...and you vice president, correct?
1549
01:31:52,100 --> 01:31:54,372
After all we did,
you still don't trust me?
1550
01:31:54,821 --> 01:31:55,821
I trust you.
1551
01:31:56,324 --> 01:31:57,266
Thank you.
1552
01:31:57,366 --> 01:31:58,692
Like you me. I'll announce it.
1553
01:31:59,013 --> 01:32:01,092
We agreed that I would do it.
1554
01:32:01,412 --> 01:32:03,012
- Let go, please.
- No I won't.
1555
01:32:03,524 --> 01:32:05,892
I'm not letting go either.
1556
01:32:06,052 --> 01:32:07,052
Move, old man.
1557
01:32:07,332 --> 01:32:10,212
No way, sleazebag.
1558
01:32:10,596 --> 01:32:11,747
Money!
1559
01:32:12,589 --> 01:32:13,827
Did you drop that?
1560
01:32:14,564 --> 01:32:15,972
Yeah, that's mine.
1561
01:32:16,293 --> 01:32:17,762
My fellow Americans...
1562
01:32:17,982 --> 01:32:19,556
You son of a...
114908
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