Original subtitles

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(Judy) I KEEP THINKING:

"O.K., DADDY. THE JOKE'S OVER."

(Michael) I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT HAPPINESS

WAS HAVING YOUR PULSE TAKEN BY YOUR FATHER.

EVEN AS KIDS, JUDY AND I COULD TELL HIM ANYTHING.

(Martha) THE ANSWERS TO ALL THE QUESTIONS

STILL ELUDE ME

AM I EVER GOING TO LET GO OF HIM?

[Martha laughing]

[Harold sighing]

[Martha moaning]

[Martha laughing]

[Harold moaning]

[Harold sighing]

[Martha laughing]

[Martha imitating sound of beating heart]

(Martha) NOT BAD AFTER 12 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, KIDDO.

NOT BAD.

[Harold panting]

[sighing] OH,

JUST THOUGHT OF AN OLD DOCTORS' JOKE.

UMM-HMM?

THE CARDIAC PATIENT SAYS, UH,

"WILL I BE ABLE TO HAVE SEX, DOCTOR?"

AND THE, UH, DOCTOR SAYS, "YES,

"BUT ONLY WITH YOUR WIFE.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET TOO EXCITED."

YEAH.

I'LL BE SURE TO TELL THAT AT MY NEXT WOMEN'S GROUP.

OH, NOW, IS THAT WHAT YOU TALK ABOUT?

WE TALK ABOUT THE EXPENDABILITY OF HUSBANDS.

[groans]

UH-OH.

MY PLANE.

(woman on intercom) T-W-8, FLIGHT NUMBER 7 FROM LONDON TO NEW YORK,

IS NOW BOARDING AT GATE 14.

[sighing]

I HATE IT ALREADY. IT'S GOING TO BE AWFUL WITHOUT YOU.

OH, COME ON. YOU CALLED YOUR OWN SHOTS FOR 29 YEARS.

HMM, THAT WAS DIFFERENT. I WASN'T A WIFE. YOU GET BRAINWASHED.

AND BESIDES, YOU'LL BE BUSY WITH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS.

YEAH, A WEEK IN LONDON, THEN I'M JUST A TOURIST.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH TAKING A VACATION FOR YOURSELF?

DRIVING AROUND FRANCE, ALL OUR OLD SPOTS.

ALONE?

IT MAY BE THE SHORTEST VACATION IN HISTORY.

[sighing] YOU CAN ALWAYS WRITE A TRAVEL ARTICLE.

HMM. I HAVEN'T WRITTEN A TRAVEL ARTICLE SINCE I WAS 12.

(Sophie) DR. LEAR.

SOPHIE AND DAVE ELIAS, FROM HARTFORD.

YOU TOOK CARE OF MY FATHER.

OH, SURE, SURE.

I REMEMBER THE NIGHT HE DIED, YOU STAYED WITH HIM ALL NIGHT

IN HIS HOSPITAL ROOM. ALL NIGHT.

THAT WAS QUITE A WHILE AGO, UH, DO YOU KNOW MY WIFE?

HOW DO YOU DO? (Sophie) A PLEASURE.

MRS. LEAR, TO ME, YOUR HUSBAND IS A GOD.

A GOD.

AH, THIS IS IT, MUSHY.

DOES A GOD FONDLE HIS WIFE'S REAR END IN PUBLIC?

THAT'S SO NO ONE WILL THINK YOU'RE A WIFE.

[woman chattering on intercom]

(woman attendant) MAY I SEE YOUR TICKET PLEASE? THANK YOU.

THE TIMES' PARIS BUREAU WILL KNOW WHERE I AM.

[airplane engine roaring]

(Julie) HE'S FINISHED AND HE GOES OFF TO SLEEP.

AND I'M LAYING THERE, AND I'M MAD.

WHAT DO YOU THINK SHOULD BE HAPPENING, JULIE?

WELL, I FIGURE THAT, IF WOMEN ARE...

[sighing]

LIKE IT SAYS IN ALL THE MAGAZINES,

ARE--ARE HAVING ORGASMS ALL OVER THE PLACE, WHY SHOULDN'T I?

I'D LIKE HER TO BE SATISFIED.

I'D LIKE TO FEEL AS IF I'M DOING A GOOD JOB.

THAT'S WHAT IT'S LIKE, SOMETIMES.

A JOB.

DO YOU EVER TELL DAN WHAT YOU DO LIKE?

MAKES YOU EXCITED?

[laughing] OH, WELL, HE SHOULD KNOW.

(Harold) HOW?

GOOD SEX STARTS WITH BEING ABLE TO TALK TO EACH ANOTHER.

THAT'S A SKILL YOU CAN LEARN.

WHAT WE'D LIKE TO DO TODAY, IS TO GIVE PRACTICING DOCTORS

SOME CONCEPT OF THE TECHNIQUES USED

IN THE TREATMENT OF SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION.

CERTAINLY WE DON'T EXPECT ALL OF YOU TO BECOME SEX THERAPISTS.

BUT THE NEED FOR DOCTORS TO BE ABLE TO...

THAT LOOKS OK.

IT'S GOING OUT TO 200 TEACHING HOSPITALS NEXT WEEK.

[phone buzzing]

YES.

(Doris) DR. KORBER CALLED.

HE'S PENCILED YOUR MEETING IN FOR TOMORROW MORNING AT 10:00.

HALLELUJAH!

AND PLEASE SIGN THOSE LETTERS ON YOUR DESK BEFORE YOU GO TO LUNCH.

THANK YOU, DORIS.

I HAD 2 STUDENTS ASK ME TODAY

IF THE PSYCHIATRY DEPARTMENT WAS GONNA TAKE YOUR PROGRAM AWAY FROM YOU.

I HAVE KORBER'S WORD THEY WON'T.

KORBER'S A TOWER OF JELL-O.

HE'LL NEVER STAND UP TO THEM.

[sighs]

FIRST, THEY'LL HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

SEX THERAPY, THE DIRTY WORD.

NOW THAT YOUR PROGRAM'S A RUNAWAY SUCCESS, EVERYBODY WANTS--

YOU SOUND JUST LIKE MARTHA.

WELL...

SO, EVERYTHING'S WORKING OUT, HAL?

[sirens wailing]

SEX EDUCATION WILL STAY WITH ME IN PUBLIC HEALTH.

AND SEX THERAPY WILL MOVE INTO THE DEPARTMENT OF PSYCHIATRY

UNDER DR. GROSS.

WELL, FINE, UH,

THEN I'LL BE REPORTING TO BOTH OF YOU.

(Dr. Korber) WELL, NOT EXACTLY.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

I'M ASKING DR. MARTIN TO HEAD IT UP.

BUT THIS IS MY PROGRAM.

I C-CREATED IT FROM NOTHING. I BUILT IT.

NOBODY'S QUESTIONING THAT, HAL, OR YOUR CREDENTIALS

AS A DOCTOR, AS A UROLOGIST.

THAT'S WHAT GAVE THE PROGRAM CREDIBILITY FROM THE BEGINNING.

THEN, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

YOU'RE NOT A PSYCHIATRIST.

IF I WERE TO NAME YOU THE DIRECTOR OF A PROGRAM IN THAT DEPARTMENT,

WELL, I'D HAVE A REVOLUTION ON MY HANDS.

(Dr. Korber) YOU CAN SEE THAT, HAL.

(Dr. Gross) WE COULD MAKE YOU, UH, ASSOCIATE,

OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT...

(Barney) HAVE YOU TOLD MARTHA?

WHY LOUSE UP HER TRIP?

BESIDES, I KNOW WHAT SHE'LL SAY.

"WHY DON'T YOU GET OUT OF THERE?"

(man) NEXT 3 PLEASE

AND DO WHAT? START OVER? BUILD A PRIVATE PRACTICE IN NEW YORK?

THIS IS LYND GALWAR, MY CHOREOGRAPHER.

MY COUSIN, DR. LEAR.

HOW DO YOU DO?

LISTEN, I THINK I'LL SKIP DINNER FOR TONIGHT, IF YOU DON'T MIND.

WHY? LINDA'S HOLDING A TABLE FOR US ACROSS THE STREET.

I'M NOT HUNGRY. I'LL TAKE A RAIN CHECK, HUH? I'LL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW.

PLEASURE MEETING YOU.

GOOD NIGHT.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

[car horns honking]

WARM NIGHT, DOCTOR. BETTER TURN THE AIR-CONDITIONING ON.

YEAH, I MAY DO THAT, FRED. HOW'S THE BACK?

BETTER. I'M DOING THOSE EXERCISES.

[sighing]

[sighing]

[phone ringing]

(female operator) OPERATOR.

UH, YES, OPERATOR. I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO FRANCE PLEASE,

AREA CODE 935--

SORRY, SIR, THE CIRCUITS ARE BUSY. TRY A LITTLE LATER.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

[birds twittering]

OH.

YES, YES, I KNOW. IT'S AGAINST THE LAW IN FRANCE

TO WORK WHILE YOU'RE EATING.

THE CALL TO YOUR HUSBAND, I TRY IT NOW?

NO, IT'S A LITTLE EARLY. WE'LL TRY THAT LATER.

THANK YOU.

[birds twittering]

[car horn honking]

[groaning]

[sighing]

[match lighting]

[sighing]

YOU LOOK LIKE HELL.

[sighing]

[gasping]

[gasping]

[breathing heavily]

[groaning]

[groaning]

[gasping]

[panting]

[gasping]

[phone ringing]

(female operator) THIS IS 911. CAN I HELP YOU?

UH, MY NAME IS HAROLD LEAR.

I LIVE AT 1020 PARK AVENUE.

I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK.

MY DOCTOR'S NAME IS RUSSELL GRANT.

I'M TOO WEAK TO FIND HIS NUMBER.

PLEASE CALL HIM AND TELL HIM TO COME RIGHT AWAY.

SIR, I CAN'T CALL YOUR DOCTOR.

THIS IS STRICTLY AN EMERGENCY SERVICE.

BUT THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.

I CAN TRANSFER YOUR CALL TO THE EMERGENCY OPERATOR.

SHE'LL BE ABLE TO DISPATCH AN AMBULANCE

[gasping]

HELP.

[coughing]

[gasping]

BILL!

[wheezing]

[groaning] BILL!

[gasping]

GET ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

I'M HAVE A HEART ATTACK.

I'LL GET AN AMBULANCE, DOCTOR.

GET A CAB

[Harold gasping]

(doctor) START AN I.V., STAT.

[medical team chattering]

(doctor) DO AN E.C.G. RIGHT AWAY.

[cardiograph beeping]

(nurse) DR. LEAR? DR. LEAR?

WE NEED SOME ADMITTING INFORMATION.

NEXT OF KIN.

WIFE?

SHE'S OUT OF THE COUNTRY.

CHILDREN?

A SON IN ENGLAND AND A DAUGHTER.

HER NAME?

PHONE NUMBER?

[sighing]

I CAN'T REMEMBER.

WE MUST INFORM SOMEONE.

BETTER FIND MY WIFE.

[sighing]

IF I DIE WITHOUT TELLING HER, SHE'LL NEVER FORGIVE ME.

(operator #1) ALLO, NEW YORK? J'AI MADAME LEAR, ICI.

(operator #2) MR. KNAPP, GO AHEAD.

(Barney) MARTHA? BARNEY, WHAT IS IT?

WELL, IT'S THAT HAL IS FEELING A LITTLE...

HE HAD THIS LITTLE...

HEART ATTACK?

IT'S NOTHING MUCH. YOU'RE LYING TO ME.

NO, I'M TELLING YOU HE'S COMPLAINING BECAUSE HE CAN'T PLAY TENNIS TOMORROW.

I'M GETTING THE NEXT PLANE BACK.

WHAT HOSPITAL?

STUYVESANT.

(woman) STUYVESANT MEDICAL CENTER. MATERNITY.

(Martha) OH, NO. MY HUSBAND HAD A HEART ATTACK.

WELL, THEN HE WOULDN'T BE IN MATERNITY. I'LL SWITCH YOU TO CORONARY CARE.

(Martha) MILD? DID YOU SAY MILD?

(doctor) NO. I SAID MYO. YOUR HUSBAND HAS SUFFERED

A MASSIVE MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION.

IS HE DYING? IS HE IN PAIN?

HE'S RESTING COMFORTABLY, BUT IT'S TOO EARLY TO--

CAN I POSSIBLY SPEAK TO HIM?

I DON'T KNOW. HOLD ON.

(Harold) HI, DARLING. HOW ARE YOU?

OH, HAL.

[sniffling]

I'M FINE.

I'LL BE HOME TOMORROW.

WELL, IF YOU'VE HAD IT WITH THOSE LATIN LOVERS.

[chuckling]

I BETTER HANG UP NOW.

I LOVE YOU.

[people chattering]

[glasses clanking]

I'M NOT THE KIND OF GIRL WHO KISSES

ON THE FIRST DATE.

NO.

IN A RESORT TOWN.

IN A BAR.

LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

MRS. LEAR, GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK.

THANK YOU. WILL YOU TAKE THEM UP? I'M GOING RIGHT TO THE HOSPITAL.

SURE, GIVE THE DOCTOR MY BEST.

THANK YOU, I WILL.

[horn honking]

ENOUGH OF THIS FOOLING AROUND. LET'S GET MARRIED.

[woman sobbing]

YOU'RE SPEECHLESS, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? ECSTASY?

TERROR.

IT'S ONLY BEEN A MONTH.

(man) I WILL GO.

A DOCTOR?

FREE EXAMINATIONS.

[chuckles]

DIVORCED WITH 2 CHILDREN.

MY KIDS WILL LOVE YOU.

LIVING IN THE BOONDOCKS.

ANYTHING BUT NEW YORK IS THE BOONDOCKS.

(man) SHUSH.

[whispering] I'M NOT READY.

WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT ABOUT NEW YORK?

WORK.

THEATRE,

ART,

MUSEUMS.

PEOPLE IN THE STREET, TAXIS, NOISE, STATUE OF LIBERTY.

EVERYTHING.

EXCEPT YOU.

(woman on intercom) DR. COOPER'S STAFF.

DR. COOPER'S STAFF.

YOU'RE NEEDED IN EMERGENCY WARD 4.

[cardiograph beeping]

[sniffles]

PRETTY DUMB?

[sobbing]

DAMN DUMB.

I MISSED YOU.

IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT, IT'LL BE JUST LIKE IT WAS.

OH.

[Judy sobbing]

(Martha) JUDY. IT'S O.K.

[phone ringing]

HOW BAD IS IT?

THE NEXT 36 HOURS ARE KEY.

THEY SAID THAT WE'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT

COME AND SIT DOWN.

LET'S DEAL WITH WHAT WE CAN.

I ASKED MY DOCTOR, MOE SILVERMAN,

"WHO DOES THE BEST CARDIOLOGY IN NEW YORK?"

MMM-HMM.

(Martha) WELL, THEN?

HE DOESN'T WORK AT THIS HOSPITAL BUT HE'S GIVEN ME SOME NAMES.

AND I'VE WHITTLED IT DOWN TO 2.

WERNER AND ROBERTS.

BOTH HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

JUDY CAN STAY WITH YOU TONIGHT, MARTHA.

YEAH, MARK'S GREAT WITH THE BABY. I MEAN, THEY WON'T EVEN MISS ME.

OR YOU CAN COME HOME WITH US.

[sniffling] NO THANK YOU, REALLY, ALL OF YOU. I--

I'D RATHER BE BY MYSELF.

[sniffing]

[doorbell ringing]

[crickets chirping]

FIRST IMPRESSION'S IMPORTANT. DO I LOOK LIKE A DOCTOR?

A PROSPEROUS DOCTOR FROM HARTFORD?

[dogs barking]

CHIEF OF STAFF?

YEAH, I KNEW I SHOULD'VE HAVE WORN THE DAMN BLUE SUIT.

[laughing] STOP IT.

DADDY, MOM,

THIS IS HAL.

UH,

COME IN, COME IN.

THIS IS FOR YOU. GOOD EVENING.

[cutlery clinking]

I HOPE MARTHA CAN COOK LIKE THIS.

[laughing] YOU DIDN'T ASK FIRST? I DRINK TO A BRAVE MAN.

AND NOW THE BEST TOAST OF ALL.

L'CHAIM. TO LIFE.

L'CHAIM.

HAL, YOU COME WITH ME. I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

(Harold) YOU'LL EXCUSE ME?

DO YOU LIKE HIM?

YOU LIKE HIM. THAT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT.

I WASN'T LOOKING TO GET MARRIED, YOU KNOW THAT.

AND YOU AND MOM CERTAINLY NEVER PUSHED ME.

SO WE DID SOMETHING RIGHT.

YOU BROUGHT HOME A FINE MAN WHEN YOU WERE READY.

IT'S HERE SOMEWHERE.

[sighs]

OH, HERE IT IS.

I SAVED IT FOR WHEN MARTHA BROUGHT HOME HER INTENDED.

HERE, READ IT.

"MALDEN, MASSACHUSETTS SEPTEMBER 14, 1939.

"TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN.

"THIS IS TO CERTIFY THAT I HAVE EXAMINED MARTHA WEINMAN,

"AGE 6 AND A HALF,

"AND FOUND HER TO HAVE A RUPTURED HYMEN,

PROBABLY DUE TO FALLING OFF A CHAIR."

OH, MY GOD.

"SIGNED, DR. JOSHUA FRIEDMAN."

I TOLD DOCTOR FRIEDMAN. "WRITE IT OUT."

I'LL SHOW IT TO THE MAN SHE'S GOING TO MARRY.

THANK YOU MRS. WEINMAN

YOU'RE A WONDERFUL MOTHER.

AND THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE SUCH A WONDERFUL DAUGHTER.

(doctor) HE'S HAD A BAD ATTACK, THERE'S NO DOUBT OF THAT.

WHEN THE HEART MUSCLE'S BEEN DAMAGED, CERTAIN ENZYMES ARE RELEASED IN THE BLOOD.

THE LARGER THE QUANTITY,

THE GREATER THE PRESUMED DAMAGE.

WHAT'S THE NORMAL COUNT?

40.

AND HAL'S?

400.

IT CAN SETTLE DOWN.

(woman on intercom) DR. CURTIS, PLEASE CALL...

I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS.

CAN A DAMAGED HEART HEAL?

I MEAN, GOOD AS NEW?

SURE BETTER. NEXT.

HIS FAMILY HAS A HISTORY OF HEART ATTACKS ON BOTH SIDES.

HOW IMPORTANT A FACTOR IS THAT?

IT'S IMPORTANT.

CHANCES OF RECURRENCE? THERE'S NO TELLING.

BUT YOU MUST HAVE SOME IDEA. I MEAN, THERE MUST BE STUDIES, SURELY.

YEAR REPORTS.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW ALL THAT FOR?

DON'T WORRY. I'LL KEEP YOU INFORMED. AHEM.

(woman on intercom) DR. JACKSON, OUTSIDE CALL.

[phone ringing]

[phone continues ringing]

[phone ringing]

(man) STUYVESANT MEDICAL CENTER, PATIENT INFORMATION.

COULD YOU TELL ME DR. HAROLD LEAR'S CONDITION PLEASE?

JUST A MOMENT, PLEASE

[sighs]

CRITICAL BUT SATISFACTORY.

THANK YOU.

[phone hanging up]

[bells tolling]

DON'T FORGET. IT'S AND OLD HOUSE BUT IT HAS GREAT POSSIBILITIES.

AND OF COURSE 9 BEDROOMS.

NOW, IT'S A LITTLE DARK BUT THAT MAKES IT COZY

AND IT IS ON THE WATER.

YOU KNOW PEOPLE JUST DON'T SELL THESE LAKESIDE HOUSES

JUST ONE BATHROOM?

WELL, YOU COULD ALWAYS ADD ANOTHER. I'LL GO CHECK THE ELECTRICITY.

[whispering] I LOVE IT.

IT SPEAKS TO US.

YES, IT'S SAYING, "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE."

YOU FILL IT WITH WHITE WHICKER FURNITURE

AND RAG RUGS, HAL, IT'LL BE GORGEOUS.

IT WILL NEVER BE GORGEOUS.

OH, LOOK AT THE VIEW.

[bell tolling]

OH, HAL, WE COULD SIT OUT HERE AND HAVE DINNERS,

AND WATCH THE SUNSET.

I'LL LEARN TO COOK.

O.K., MUSHY, WE'LL MAKE AN OFFER.

[laughing]

I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE WE GOT IT.

I MEAN, YOU WERE ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT.

I MADE A LOW OFFER SHE TOOK IT.

THAT WORRIES ME.

UH, SAY, ARE YOU THE FOLKS BUYING THE OLD EDWARDS HOUSE?

(both) YES.

THANK YOU.

GUESS SHE TOLD YOU 'BOUT THE LEAKY ROOF.

DROVE 'EM CRAZY.

WELL, GOOD LUCK.

GORGEOUS.

YES, I'D LIKE TO KNOW DR. HAROLD LEAR'S CONDITION THIS MORNING.

(man) JUST A MOMENT.

FAIR.

FAIR?

DID YOU SAY FAIR?

YOU'VE HAD A SHAVE!

[cardiograph beeping]

I FEEL TERRIFIC.

WHAT AM I DOING HERE? THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE.

OH, YOU THINK SO, HUH?

WELL, LETS SEE.

WHAT--

[cardiograph alarm sounding]

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S ALL RIGHT.

WOW, HAVE I HAD A HEART ATTACK!

DOC-DOCTOR LEAR. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

CHECKING MY ELECTROCARDIOGRAM.

[gasps]

WELL, DON'T DO THAT.

YOU'LL GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK.

[cardiograph beeping]

OH, THANK YOU.

ISN'T SHE TERRIFIC?

I ALWAYS THOUGHT A GOOD NURSE GIVES PILLS,

YOU KNOW, CHECKS CHARTS AND THINGS.

BUT WHEN YOU'RE LYING HERE, YOU SEE IT DIFFERENTLY.

(Harold) THEY'RE YOUR LIFELINE. THEY COME AND THEY TOUCH YOU

AND THEY SAY, "NOW, ISN'T THAT BETTER?"

YOU KNOW WHO ARE A PAIN?

THE WISE-GUY YOUNG DOCTORS.

YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?

YES, I'M ONLY HAVING LOW-GRADE DISCOMFORT

I DON'T THINK I NEED A SHOT. MAYBE SOMETHING MILDER, ASPIRIN?

YOU CAN HAVE YOUR PAIN MEDICATION. THERE'S NOTHING ELSE ORDERED

BUT...

(Harold) YOU KNOW WHAT THE GAME IS. DON'T MAKE WAVES.

DON'T CHALLENGE THE DOCTOR'S AUTHORITY.

THOSE X-RAYS WERE ORDERED. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? CAUSE TROUBLE?

WHAT? WHAT? YOU GOT NO RIGHT

TO CALL DOWN TO X-RAY AND TALK TO MY PEOPLE DOWN THERE--

YOU GOT THE WRONG ROOM.

WELL, WHAT IF IT WAS THE RIGHT ROOM? IS THAT ANY WAY TO TALK

TO A CARDIAC PATIENT? ANY PATIENT?

WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING YOU IN MEDICAL SCHOOL, ARROGANCE?

THIS IS A HOSPITAL ROOM, 212 HARD-EARNED BUCKS A DAY!

THE NEXT TIME YOU COME IN HERE, YOU KNOCK.

(Harold) I WILL NOT BE TREATED LIKE AN IDIOT.

(Martha) HAL, DON'T GET EXITED.

DAMN IT! BRING ME MY SAWED-OFF JEANS!

YOU REALIZE THE A.M.A. COULD BRING YOU UP ON CHARGES FOR THIS OUTFIT.

GO AHEAD AND TRY.

MAN, THOSE ARE SOME SANDALS, DR. LEAR.

I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT SO.

(Martha) ISN'T THE SUN DECK TOO FAR?

(Harold) PROBABLY.

(woman on intercom) DR. BURROWS, PLEASE CALL 1-2-5 WEST.

(doctor) I'M DISCHARGING HIM ON SUNDAY.

(Martha) OH, WONDERFUL.

LET'S GO OVER THE INSTRUCTIONS. LOW-SODIUM DIET,

ABSOLUTELY NO SMOKING,

EXERCISE. HE CAN BEGIN BY WALKING A BLOCK OR SO EVERY DAY.

HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO START WORKING PART-TIME IN 3 WEEKS,

FULL-TIME IN 6 WEEKS.

ANY QUESTIONS?

WHEN CAN I START HAVING WET DREAMS?

I WANT TO SEEN HIM IN MY OFFICE A WEEK FROM MONDAY.

[coughs]

WHY CAN'T THAT JACKASS TALK TO ME? I'M SITTING RIGHT HERE.

MY GOD, WAS I LIKE THAT?

DIDN'T YOU HEAR?

YOU'RE GOING HOME.

YOU'RE BUYING OUT THE PLACE.

[laughing] YEAH, FRUIT'S GOOD FOR MY HUSBAND.

NO SALT.

I GOT TO WATCH IT MYSELF.

OH, I DIDN'T SEE THE MELONS. HE LOVES THOSE.

I THINK I'LL TAKE A COUPLE.

I'LL GET YOU ANOTHER BAG.

[siren wailing]

THIS MAN IS DEAD.

KEEP WORKING.

DADDY, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT? DADDY, YOU PROMISED ME!

[sobbing] DADDY, DON'T DIE!

DON'T YOU...

NO DADDY, PLEASE!

[siren continues wailing]

(Walter) YOU'LL DRIVE YOURSELF CRAZY.

I KNOW.

I EVEN WATCH HIM WHEN HE'S SLEEPING.

YESTERDAY, I ACTUALLY HELD A MIRROR UNDER HIS NOSE.

HE WOKE AND SAW ME AND SAID, "WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? CRIB DEATH?"

[people chattering]

ANYWAY, HE'S HOME. AND THAT'S GOOD.

MMM-HMM.

AND NOT SO GOOD

FOR YOU.

HE HAS TO STOP SMOKING SO I'M TRYING, TOO.

PROOFS LOOK PRETTY GOOD.

PRETTY GOOD PIECE.

RUNNING IT A WEEK FROM SUNDAY.

NOW, HOW ABOUT ANOTHER ASSIGNMENT?

DO YOU HAVE ANY GUM?

MARTHA, YOU'RE GOING TO NEED SOME RELIEF.

YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP WORKING.

YOU KNOW, I WANT TO.

BUT I CAN'T.

THE MIND HAS A--A MIND OF ITS OWN, IT SEEMS.

ALL RIGHT. DON'T FIGHT IT, GO WITH IT.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

WELL, YOU'RE A JOURNALIST. PUT DOWN WHAT'S HAPPENING.

WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. LET IT ALL SPILL OUT.

YOU MEAN LIVE IT ALL OVER AGAIN.

ONCE IS ENOUGH.

WHAT HE'S SAYING.

WHAT HE'S SAYING.

WHAT HE'S SAYING IS THAT WHEN A DOCTOR BECOMES A PATIENT,

HIS PERCEPTIONS TURN INSIDE OUT.

SEE?

NOW, THAT'S GOOD.

THAT'S VERY GOOD.

WHO KNOWS? I MIGHT WANT TO USE IT IN THE MAGAZINE.

YOU'RE A CON ARTIST,

BUT LOVABLE.

[metallic clanging]

[blowing]

I COULDN'T SLEEP.

YOU'RE WORKING?

NOTES.

WALTER SAYS I OUGHT TO WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENING

AND HOW WE FEEL ABOUT IT.

GOOD IDEA.

SOMETIMES I COULD TAPE US.

YEAH, WELL, WHY DON'T YOU PUT DOWN, UM,

"EVERY DOCTOR SHOULD SPEND AT LEAST

"ONE WEEK A YEAR IN A HOSPITAL BED.

THAT'D CHANGE A FEW THINGS, IN A HURRY."

[laughing] YEAH.

I KNOW ABOUT THE BOOKSHELF,

AND THE CHINA SOUP TUREEN.

I AM TRYING TO STOP.

I TRULY AM TRYING.

I KNOW, MUSHY, I KNOW.

YOU SMELL GOOD SMOKY.

SEXY.

DO YOU...

DO YOU WANT TO REST A MINUTE?

OH, GOD.

[people chattering]

HOW DO YOU LIKE MICHELLE'S FOOD? SHE'S THE NEW CATERER.

TERRIFIC. IF SHE'S SINGLE, I'LL MARRY HER.

[all laughing]

EVERYONE'S SO HAPPY TO SEE HAL. HE LOOKS MARVELOUS.

OH, DON'T LIE, FLO. HE DOESN'T.

I'M SORRY.

IT'S O.K. IT'S HIS FIRST NIGHT OUT.

LISTEN, I'VE SEEN YOU LOOKING BETTER, TOO.

EVEN WHEN MARTHA LOOKS BAD, SHE LOOKS GOOD.

THANK YOU, CARL. I CAN USE THAT.

WHERE DID YOU SEE HAL?

HE WAS JUST AT THE BUFFET TABLE.

IT'S A ROUGH SCENE, MARTHA.

YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH A LOT OF ANGER.

WHY DON'T YOU COME BACK TO THE WOMAN'S GROUP

AND GET RID OF SOME OF IT?

(Carl) OR PICK UP A LITTLE.

WHAT KIND OF A LOUSY REMARK IS THAT?

IT WAS A JOKE, FOR PETE'S SAKE.

ANYWAY, WE COULD USE YOUR INPUT.

A FEW OF US FREELANCERS

WANT TO SET UP A MEETING WITH THE PAPER.

YOU KNOW HOW THE MAGAZINE SECTION IS ON WOMEN'S ISSUES.

EXCUSE ME, I'M GONNA JUST GO SEE

IF I CAN FIND HAL.

OH, THERE YOU ARE.

MARTHA.

MARTHA.

EVENING, MRS. LEAR.

(Harold) MARTHA. GOOD EVENING, FRED.

WHAT'S ALL THE FUSS ABOUT?

SO, I SMOKED A CIGARETTE.

ONE? YOU MUST HAVE BEEN SMOKING ALL THIS TIME.

(Harold) NO.

IT'S JUST LIKE MY FATHER.

"I WON'T SMOKE, MARTHA. I KNOW IT COULD KILL ME."

AND ALL THE TIME SNEAKING CIGARETTES

UNTIL THE DAY HE DIED.

I AM NOT YOUR FATHER.

YOU'RE A DOCTOR. YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER!

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. SO I SMOKE.

WHATEVER, WHENEVER. I PICK UP BUTTS OUT OF THE GUTTER.

THAT'S SICK.

YOU SHOULD SEE A SHRINK.

MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

MAYBE I SHOULD.

MAKE A CUP.

MMM.

(therapist) YOU'VE TRIED TO GIVE IT UP?

OH, YES.

AFTER 30 YEARS, IT'S TOUGH.

WELL, HYPNOSIS CAN BE EFFECTIVE.

SOME PEOPLE, OF COURSE, RESIST SUGGESTION.

THAT'S WHY I DO A SINGLE TREATMENT.

IT EITHER WORKS OR IT DOESN'T.

JUST PUT YOUR HEAD BACK.

(therapist) NOW ROLL YOUR EYES BACK.

WAY BACK.

EMPTY YOUR MIND.

YOUR EYELIDS ARE GROWING HEAVY.

VERY HEAVY.

YOU'RE FEELING SLEEPY.

SLEEPY.

SAY THESE WORDS AFTER ME:

"SMOKING IS HARMFUL TO MY BODY."

SMOKING IS HARMFUL TO MY BODY.

"I NEED MY BODY TO LIVE."

I NEED MY BODY TO LIVE.

"I NEED MY LUNGS TO BREATHE."

I NEED MY LUNGS TO BREATHE.

"CIGARETTE-SMOKING IS CHOKING MY LUNGS."

CIGARETTE-SMOKING IS CHOKING MY LUNGS.

"THEREFORE, I WILL NOT SMOKE."

THEREFORE, I WILL NOT SMOKE.

"CIGARETTE-SMOKING IS CHOKING MY LUNGS."

CIGARETTE-SMOKING IS CHOKING MY LUNGS.

"THEREFORE, I WILL NOT SMOKE."

THEREFORE, I WILL NOT SMOKE.

"CIGARETTE-SMOKING IS CHOKING MY LUNGS."

"THEREFORE, I WILL NOT SMOKE."

"CIGARETTE-SMOKING IS CHOKING MY LUNGS."

BUT THE DOCTOR WILL BE BACK IN TO SEE YOU.

THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY.

(secretary) CAN I GIVE HIM A MESSAGE?

YES. YOU CAN TELL HIM,

IF I'D KNOWN, I WOULD'VE SENT MY TAPE RECORDER

OVER TO LISTEN TO HIS TAPE RECORDER.

[horn honking]

(Harold) WHY DO WE SEE SUCH A HIGH PERCENTAGE

OF CARDIAC PATIENTS

WHO ARE IMPOTENT SEXUALLY,

WHEN THERE IS NO PHYSIOLOGICAL BASIS FOR IT?

THE OBVIOUS REASON, WE KNOW,

IS THE FEAR THAT THEY MAY OVEREXERT THEMSELVES

AND DIE IN THE ACT.

[all chuckling]

BUT HE GOES BEYOND THAT.

THE CARDIAC

NO LONGER SEES HIMSELF

AS THE--

AS THE HARD,

DRIVING MONEY-EARNER,

THE PEACOCK,

THE SWINGER. IMPOTENCE,

STARTS HERE.

AND WHEN WE FAIL TO DEAL WITH THAT,

BECAUSE OF OUR OWN HANG-UPS ABOUT SEX,

WE ARE COPPING OUT AS DOCTORS.

I'M THINKING OF ADDING AN EPILOGUE.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AFTER EVERYTHING I HAVE SAID TODAY,

"EL PROFESSOR HERE,

"MAKING LOVE TO HIS WIFE, 6 WEEKS AFTER HIS HEART ATTACK,

WAS ABSOLUTELY SCARED OUT OF HIS SKULL."

JUST IMAGINE HOW SCARED SHE WAS.

[people chattering]

THAT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME.

ROBERT SAYS IT'S O.K. FOR YOU TO COME BACK TO WORK?

WHAT DOES HE SAY ABOUT THOSE PAINS IN YOUR CHEST?

HEALING PAINS. NORMAL.

NORMAL TO GET SHORT OF BREATH

WALKING 20 YARDS?

HE'S A CARDIOLOGIST.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK THAT ANYTHING THAT FEELS THIS BAD

CAN'T BE GOOD.

[sighs]

I THINK I SHOULD GET A SECOND OPINION.

GIFT FROM ONE OF MY PATIENTS.

[laughing] NOT BARNEY.

FROM BARNEY I GET OPENING-NIGHT SEATS.

FRONT ROW CENTER, MIND YOU.

WELL, I ASKED BARNEY TO CALL YOU,

BECAUSE I WANT A TOTALLY INDEPENDENT

OPINION ON MY CONDITION.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU'VE GOT ROUTS IN YOUR CHEST.

YOUR LIVER IS ENLARGED AND TENDER.

YOU'RE IN HEART FAILURE.

HEART FAILURE?

YOUR CARDIOGRAM IS ABNORMAL.

BUT I, UH, CAN'T COMMENT ON IT

BECAUSE I HAVE NO BASIS FOR COMPARISON.

DR. ROBERTS DIDN'T SEND YOU MY RECORDS?

I ASKED HIM TO.

NO.

IF I WERE YOUR PATIENT,

WHAT WOULD YOU ADVISE?

FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN TODAY,

I'D PUT YOU ON SOME DIGITALIS

AND A MILD DIURETIC FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS

AND SEE HOW YOU FELT.

ALL RIGHT. I'D LIKE YOU TO ORDER THE MEDICATION.

[traffic circulating]

HEY, WHERE ARE MY SKATES?

IF I KEEP FEELING LIKE THIS, WHY NOT?

I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW ROBERTS COULD'VE MISSED IT.

I MEAN, ANY MEDICAL STUDENT WITH A STETHOSCOPE

CAN HEAR FLUID ON THE LUNGS.

WELL, IT'S POSSIBLE THEY WERE DRY WHEN HE LISTENED.

HOW COME YOU'RE APOLOGIZING FOR HIM?

I'M NOT. IT'S JUST...

THE OLD BOY'S "HYPOCRITIC OATH."

YOUR FEMINIST LIP IS SHOWING.

IN THAT CASE, MAYBE I WON'T BUY YOU ONE OF THESE

FOR VALENTINE'S DAY.

HMM. I'D HAVE TO GROW INTO IT.

OR OUT OF IT.

(woman) TAKE AN AVERAGE ISSUE OF THE SUNDAY MAGAZINE SECTION.

ONLY 1 OUT OF 5 FEATURES

WAS WRITTEN BY A WOMAN.

VERY FEW ARE ABOUT WOMEN.

AND OF THOSE, ALMOST NONE

DEALT WITH VALID WOMEN'S CONCERNS.

WELL, NOW THAT ALL DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU MEAN BY VALID.

ALL RIGHT, WALTER. YOU TAKE ME.

I LIKE CLOTHES, I'M A PRETTY GOOD COOK.

I RUN A HOUSEHOLD.

BUT I'D HATE TO THINK MY LIFE

IS DEFINED BY QUICHE RECIPES,

AND FASHION NOTES FROM PARIS.

WELL, NOW, MARTHA, YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO TELL ME THAT YOU'RE TYPICAL?

IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A COMPLIMENT?

[gasping]

[groaning]

CAN I HELP YOU?

NO.

HOLD IT, WALTER.

I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD BE ADVERSARIES HERE.

THIS MEETING IS NOT MEANT TO BE AN ATTACK

ON YOU OR THE PAPER.

IT'S JUST TO PRESENT A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW.

O.K., O.K.

BUT WOMEN ARE STILL THE CARETAKERS,

WHETHER YOU LIKE TO THINK SO OR NOT.

HE'S BEEN DOING EVERYTHING HE WAS SUPPOSED TO.

HOW COULD IT BE?

DON'T WORRY. AT LEAST HE'S IN GOOD HANDS.

LOOKS LIKE ANGINA.

I THINK WE'D BETTER GET AN ANGIOGRAM.

WHAT'S THAT?

OH, SOME PICTURES. X-RAY.

OH, COME ON, MOE, DON'T PATRONIZE HER.

(Harold) THEY PUSH A CATHETER

UP TO THE FEMORAL ARTERY INTO THE HEART,

INJECT A DYE AND X-RAY THE VASCULAR SYSTEM.

BUT YOU JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK

A FEW MONTHS AGO. ISN'T THAT DANGEROUS?

SMART.

SMART.

(Harold) NOT ENOUGH DYE, YOU DON'T GET GOOD PICTURES.

TOO MUCH AND...

A MORTALITY RATE OF, WHAT, 5%?

LOOK, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MANHATTAN GENERAL,

WITH MAYBE THE BEST ANGIOGRAPHER IN THE COUNTRY.

AND WHAT ARE HIS MORTALITY RATES?

MOE, IF YOU WAITED A WHILE,

THE PAIN MIGHT GO AWAY?

(Moe) IT WON'T.

IT'LL GET WORSE.

PRETTY SOON HE WON'T BE ABLE TO WALK.

OR LEAVE THE HOUSE.

(Moe) I THINK IT'S A MISTAKE.

BUT YOU'RE A DOCTOR.

YOU'VE GOT A RIGHT TO MAKE YOUR OWN MISTAKES.

(Moe) YOU KNOW WHERE I AM.

[sighing]

[sighing]

A CORONARY'S A CORONARY.

YOU COPE, YOU DEAL WITH IT.

YOU HOPE TO HELL YOU SURVIVE IT.

THE THING HERE IS,

I'VE GOT A CHOICE.

IT'S KIND OF LIKE,

A GUY ON THE BATTLEFIELD SAID, WITH THE SHELLS BURSTING ALL AROUND:

"A PERSON COULD GET KILLED HERE."

HMM.

HONEY.

IT'S A JOKE.

SO HOW COME WE'RE NOT LAUGHING?

[beeping]

(Dr. Stark) DR. LEAR.

I'M DR. STARK AND I'LL BE DOING THE PROCEDURE.

HELLO, DOCTOR.

I'VE NEVER SEEN ANY OF THIS LYING DOWN BEFORE.

YOU'LL BE GETTING SOME TRANQUILIZER IN A MINUTE.

BUT WE CAN GET STARTED.

YOU'RE LOOKING FOR THE FEMORAL ARTERY?

YES.

IS THE TROCAR GOING IN?

MMM-HMM.

OH! I FELT THE PRESSURE.

GOOD HIT?

(Dr. Stark) MMM.

[machines buzzing]

[sighs]

(Harold) THERE I AM, LIVE ON T.V.

[beeping continues]

I'LL BE DAMNED.

THERE'S MY HEART.

WE'RE GOING TO INJECT SOME DYE NOW.

(Dr. Stark) YOU MAY FEEL A FLUSH.

FEELING IT?

(Harold) YEAH.

IT'S LIKE I'M ON FIRE INSIDE.

[moaning]

I'M HAVING PAIN.

[panting]

MASSIVE PAIN!

[rapid beeping]

(Harold) THEN I THOUGHT,

"IS THIS IT?

WHAT A DUMB WAY TO DIE!"

WELL.

THEN IT GOT A LITTLE LESS,

AND LESS, AND...

LIKE WAVES GOING OUT TO SEA.

[chuckles]

AND,

YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS,

THAT'S WHEN THEY GOT AROUND TO GIVING ME THE DAMN TRANQUILIZER.

[laughing] [sobbing]

(man on intercom) WILL MR. MICHAEL LEAR COME TO THE INFORMATION COUNTER

IN THE MAIN TERMINAL, PLEASE.

MARTHA.

OH! I WAS AFRAID I MISSED YOU, THEY SAID YOUR PLANE GOT IN EARLY.

IT WAS PUSHING ALL THE WAY.

HERE, LET ME TAKE THAT ONE.

CAN YOU STAY A WHILE?

WELL, I HAVE TO GO BACK FOR MY FINALS.

THEN I'M HOME FOR GOOD.

I DECIDED TO FINISH MY DOCTORATE HERE.

OH, MIKE! HE WILL BE SO PLEASED!

HOW IS HE?

THE CORONARY ARTERIES ARE A DISASTER AREA.

THEY CAN'T EVEN FIND ONE OF THEM ON THE ANGIOGRAM.

THE OTHER 2 ARE LIKE RUSTY PIPES.

WHY DON'T THEY HAVE SOMETHING LIKE DRANO FOR PEOPLE?

[chuckles] GIVE THEM TIME, THEY WILL.

DO THEY WANT TO DO A BYPASS?

THEY HAVE TO.

TOMORROW.

THEY FOUND AN ANEURYSM. HUGE.

APPARENTLY HE'S BEEN WALKING AROUND WITH A TIME-BOMB INSIDE HIM.

I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

BARNEY, I'M SORRY, BUT THIS IS...

[all cheering]

PERFECT, PERFECT!

[all chattering]

(Barney) WE ARE CELEBRATING 2 OPENINGS!

(Harold) 2? I KNOW ABOUT MINE.

MMM. AND MINE. THURSDAY NIGHT IN PHILADELPHIA.

[all exclaiming]

AND LONG RUNS.

DADDY AND BARNEY.

HONEY, ARE YOU GETTING ALL OF THIS DOWN?

YOU KNOW, MARTHA'S KEEPING A RECORD OF THE WHOLE THING.

YEAH, I BET THERE'S A BOOK IN IT.

AND YOU'LL DO THE MUSICAL.

[all laughing]

(Moe) THE LEFT LEG WAS INCISED.

A LONG PIECE OF SAPHENOUS VEIN WAS ISOLATED AND REMOVED.

THE CHEST WAS OPENED, THE HEART ELECTRICALLY FIBRILLATED.

WITH THE BODY TEMPERATURE REDUCED,

WE OPENED THE CIRCUMFLEX ARTERY AND ANASTAMOSED THE VEIN.

THE HEART WAS THEN REPLACED IN ITS NORMAL POSITION.

A LEFT VENTRICULAR ANEURYSM

WAS EXCLUDED FROM THE REMAINING PORTION OF THE VENTRICLE.

THE PATIENT CAME OFF THE HEART LINE MACHINE WITHOUT DIFFICULTY.

THE CHEST WAS CLOSED IN THE USUAL FASHION.

[water running]

(Moe) IT'S FINISHED!

HE'S BEEN IN THE RECOVERY ROOM ABOUT 15 MINUTES.

AND?

OH, HE'S ALL RIGHT. HE'S ALL RIGHT.

IT WAS ONE HELL OF A MASSIVE OPERATION, OF COURSE.

BUT WHERE'S BARNEY? OH, THAT'S RIGHT. PHILADELPHIA.

HOW'S IT GOING?

HE'S O.K.

O.K. I MEAN, CONSIDERING...

BELL DID A BEAUTIFUL JOB.

OH, I TOLD BARNEY I'D TRY TO GET DOWN THERE ONE NIGHT.

I COULD TAKE THE METROLINER ON WEDNESDAY AND--

WOULD YOU FORGET ABOUT THE METROLINER AND TELL US ABOUT HAL?

BUT I'M TELLING YOU!

OH, HERE'S DR. BELL NOW.

(Michael) IS HE OUT OF DANGER?

WELL, WE'RE HAVING SOME PROBLEM WITH HIS BLOOD PRESSURE.

WELL, IT'S A LITTLE LOW, BUT--

(Dr. Bell) IF WE CAN KEEP THE PRESSURE UP THROUGH THE NIGHT--

I WANNA SEE HIM.

WELL, HE WON'T BE AWAKE FOR SOME TIME.

I'LL WAIT.

OH, UH, MARTHA,

HE'S EMBARRASSED FOR YOU TO SEE HIM WITH ALL THE TUBES AND THE NEEDLES--

EMBARRASSED?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME?

NOBODY'S HIDING ANYTHING!

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

[medical instruments beeping]

[gasps]

HE'S DEAD!

(Moe) NO, HE'S NOT DEAD.

(Martha) HE'S DEAD!

COME HERE.

HAL!

HAL, YOUR WIFE IS HERE. SHE'S WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

(Moe) GIVE HER A SIGN THAT YOU'RE ALL RIGHT, O.K.?

[beeping accelerates]

OH, MY GOD.

HE WINKED AT ME.

NOW, DIDN'T I TELL YOU?

[chuckles]

[sniffs]

COME ON.

[beeping continues]

[Martha muffled] DARLING.

I'M HERE.

DAD?

(Moe) WE'RE GETTING RID OF THIS TUBE IN YOUR THROAT.

(Harold) AM I IN ICE?

YOUR TEMPERATURE IS OVER 104, DR. LEAR.

WE'RE RUNNING COLD WATER THROUGH THE BLANKET.

[beeping continues]

(Harold) WHAT DAY IS IT?

IT'S FRIDAY.

YOU'VE BEEN HERE 6 DAYS.

WHAT HAPPENED?

WE DON'T KNOW.

YOU'RE BLOOD PRESSURE HAS BEEN NON-EXISTENT.

WE'VE BEEN FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

WE'RE WINNING.

[doorbell buzzing]

WE'RE JUST WORKING OUR WAY THROUGH COLLEGE, LADY.

[chuckles]

AH! AH, AH, CAREFUL!

EASY, IT'S JUST A KISS.

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET TO MY OWN BED.

HOW DOES HE SEEM?

WEAK.

HE SEEMS O.K.

(Harold) OH, WOW! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

AFTER 13 YEARS, WE HAVE A BEDSPREAD.

WELL, ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU SAID YOU WANTED FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?

ANOTHER BIRTHDAY? WHEN IS IT?

YOU MEAN WHEN WAS IT.

YESTERDAY. REMEMBER, THE NURSES CAME IN, SANG HAPPY BIRTHDAY,

AND YOU SAID, "THEY WERE ALL OFF KEY"?

I DID?

HERE'S ANOTHER PRESENT FOR YOU.

OH, MICHAEL!

THIS IS FANTASTIC.

WELL, YOU ALWAYS ENJOYED SCULPTING, BUT YOU NEVER HAD THE TIME.

WELL, NOW I'VE GOT PLENTY OF TIME.

[paper rustling]

I NEED A LITTLE BONING UP.

[chuckles]

"THE CLAY..." D-O-E-S.

THAT'S FUNNY-LOOKING.

(Harold) "D-O" IS "DO,"

"D-O-E" IS A "DOE,"

"D-O-E-S" IS...

WHAT, A BUNCH OF LITTLE DEER?

[Michael chuckles]

(Martha) YOU'RE NOT JOKING?

"THE CLAY DOES HARDEN UNLESS KEPT MOIST."

OH, "DOES"!

[laughing] WELL, WHY DIDN'T THEY SAY SO?

I'LL MAKE US SOME TEA.

YOU COULD USE THE TERRACE AS A STUDIO IN THE SUMMER.

I'M GOING TO THE... LAKE THIS SUMMER.

(Moe) EXACTLY WHAT KIND OF THINGS?

(Harold) MY HANDWRITING LOOKS ODD.

AND WORDS, I CAN'T GET A...

FIX ON THEM.

(Moe) THINGS OFTEN HAPPEN AFTER THIS SURGERY.

SOME AIR MAY GET TO THE BRAIN.

(Harold) BUT IT'S BEEN WEEKS.

(Moe) WELL, IT TAKES TIME.

(Harold) MOE, I CAN'T EVEN FIND YOUR...OFFICE.

[Moe chuckling] THAT'S EASY. YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH OF ME!

(Harold) SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH MY MIND.

(Moe) WELL, WE'RE ALL GETTING OLDER.

I DON'T WANT ANY OF HIS DAMN DOUBLE TALK.

I DON'T NEED TO BE JOLLIED, I NEED HIM TO LISTEN.

YOU WANNA TRY TO EXPLAIN IT TO ME?

WAIT.

[sighs]

O.K.

IS IT LIKE VERTIGO?

NO, NO VERTIGO IS WHERE...

YOU STAND STILL AND THE WORLD SPINS.

AND WITH ME...

THE WORLD STANDS STILL AND I SPIN.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

[sighing] I CAN SEE THEM TURNING OFF, MOE AND BELL.

IT'S JUST TOO THREATENING FOR THEM TO ADMIT...

THERE'S BRAIN DAMAGE.

OH, HAL.

I THINK I SHOULD HAVE A NEUROLOGICAL CONSULTATION.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD SEE A PSYCHIATRIST.

YOU THINK I FORGET BECAUSE I WANT TO?

NO, HAL, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.

[exclaiming] WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?

[sighs]

[breathing heavily]

[moans]

C-COLD!

[moaning]

HAL, OPEN YOUR MOUTH. OPEN YOUR MOUTH. HELP ME.

UNDER THE TONGUE. THAT'S IT.

[sighing]

[ringing]

(receptionist) DOCTOR'S OFFICE.

YES, IT'S MRS. HAROLD LEAR. I NEED TO TALK TO DR. SILVERMAN.

DR. SILVERMAN'S OFF TONIGHT, DR. WARREN'S COVERING.

WOULD YOU PUT ME THROUGH, PLEASE?

[sighs]

(Dr. Warren) HELLO?

OH, DR. WARREN.

MY HUSBAND IS A PATIENT OF DR. SILVERMAN'S.

HE HAD CARDIAC SURGERY 4 MONTHS AGO.

HE HAS A TEMPERATURE OF 105 AND HE'S SHAKING WITH CHILLS.

WHAT KIND OF CARDIAC SURGERY?

DOUBLE BYPASS.

WHAT MEDICATION HAS HE BEEN TAKING?

PLEASE, HE HAS 105!

YOU'D BETTER GET HIM TO THE HOSPITAL.

WHAT HOSPITAL? MANHATTAN GENERAL.

BUT YOU TAKE HIM TO EMERGENCY. THEY'LL KNOW WHAT TO DO.

AND YOU CALL ME IN THE MORNING.

[clicks] YE--

NO, NO, NO. NO H-HOSPITAL!

WE HAVE TO. COME ON, WE HAVE TO.

I CAN'T. I CAN'T MAKE IT!

[whimpers]

[whispers] WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

ASPIRIN! ASPIRIN. AND KEEP ME WARM.

[moans]

[Harold coughing]

HERE WE GO.

EASY.

EASY, EASY, EASY.

[coughs]

[shivering]

DON'T DIE.

OH, PLEASE DON'T DIE.

DON'T DIE.

DADDY, DON'T DIE.

PLEASE, PLEASE, DON'T DIE.

[phone rings]

[grunts]

HELLO? (Moe) MARTHA?

OH, MOE.

MARTHA, WHAT'S HAPPENING? I JUST CHECKED WITH DR. WARREN.

MOE, YOU'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING. YOU'VE JUST GOT TO.

ALL RIGHT, I SHOULD RUN TESTS BUT...

I'LL TAKE A CHANCE.

I'LL START HIM ON STEROIDS, PREDNISONE.

TWENTY MILLIGRAMS. Q-I-D FOR 2 WEEKS

AND MAKE SURE YOU CALL ME EVERY MORNING. LET ME KNOW HOW HE FEELS.

♪♪[Harold whistling]

[snaps fingers]

EVERY DAY, YOU'RE GETTING BETTER.

IT'S A MIRACLE.

I CAN FEEL THE STRENGTH COMING BACK.

I CAN FEEL ALL THE JUICES STARTING TO FLOW AGAIN.

AND I MEAN ALL THE JUICES.

[sighs]

HAPPY VALENTINE'S...

DAY.

DON'T KNOCK IT.

IT'S TERRIFIC.

(Martha) YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS?

I'VE GOT TO TONE UP THE ARMS.

I KNEW I'D FIND A USE FOR THESE MEDICAL BOOKS.

I'M SURE THE PUBLISHER WOULD BE THRILLED WITH THAT ENDORSEMENT.

I DID A GREAT NEW EXERCISE YESTERDAY.

WHAT WAS IT?

I CAN'T REMEMBER.

I'D LIKE TO DO SOME WORD ASSOCIATION.

I'LL

SHOW YOU A WORD,

GIVE YOU THE ASSOCIATION,

AND THEN YOU REPEAT IT BACK TO ME.

FINGER, HAND.

RADIATOR, GREEN.

SALT, PEPPER.

ROCK, SHOE.

NOW YOU TELL ME. FINGER?

HAND.

(doctor) RADIATOR?

HOT.

UH, NO. UH...

UH, PEPPER.

I'M SORRY.

I UNDERSTAND.

IT'S BEEN A TOUGH COUPLE OF DAYS AND A LOT OF TESTS.

TOMORROW AGAIN?

YOUR DIAGNOSIS OF YOUR PROBLEM IS...

VERY ACCURATE, DR. LEAR.

(doctor) YOU HAVE ORGANIC BRAIN DAMAGE.

IS...IT REVERSIBLE?

COMPENSATORY, BUT NOT REVERSIBLE.

THAT MEANS THAT...

I CAN'T WORK ANYMORE.

NOT THE WAY YOU USED TO.

DO YOU WANT ME TO SEND THE FULL REPORT TO ANY DOCTOR?

NO, NO, JUST SEND IT TO ME.

♪♪[classical music playing]

[inaudible]

[door opening]

(Martha) HELLO, HELLO?

YEAH, I'M IN HERE.

[door closing]

YOU CAN'T IMAGINE HOW SPECTACULAR THE MOZART WAS.

I'M SO GLAD YOU MADE ME GO.

WHAT ARE YOU READING?

THE OPERATING-ROOM NOTES OF MY...

BYPASS SURGERY. UH, I ASKED FOR A COPY.

[sighs]

I HAD A SECOND HEART ATTACK.

DOES IT SAY THAT?

NO, BUT IT MUST HAVE HAPPENED IMMEDIATELY AFTER IN THE RECOVERY ROOM.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?

WELL, IT HAD TO BE. IT FITS.

I LEFT THE OPERATING ROOM WITH NORMAL BLOOD PRESSURE.

ALL MY LIFE SIGNS WERE...

STABLE.

BELL SAID I WOULD BE IN I.C.U. 2 DAYS.

I WAS IN THERE FOR 9.

I CAME OUT WITH A CHUNK OF MY BRAIN DEAD AND

ENOUGH OF MY HEART MUSCLE GONE THAT I--

I NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO GET WELL.

YOU'RE NOT SURPRISED.

YOU KNEW.

MOE FELT IT WAS BEST NOT TO UPSET YOU.

I SEE.

YOU PUT YOUR HEADS TOGETHER AND DECIDED WHAT I SHOULD KNOW.

HAL, WHAT POSSIBLE GOOD COULD IT HAVE DONE FOR YOU TO KNOW?

WHAT GOOD?

I'VE BEEN LIVING ALL THIS TIME UNDER THE WRONG HYPOTHESES.

I HAD PRESUMED THAT THEY FOUND A TERRIBLE HEART

AND I WAS LUCKY TO COME OFF THE TABLE ALIVE.

NOW I FIND OUT MY HEART WASN'T SO TERRIBLE.

IN 6 MONTHS, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SWIM A MILE, TO JOG, TO--TO WORK.

AND...

I WAS SO CLOSE. I WAS THERE.

BUT YOU HAD ANOTHER ATTACK.

WELL, WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME THAT? THE TRUTH WOULD HAVE BEEN EASIER!

HAL, DON'T GET EXCITED. IT'S NOT GOOD FOR YOU.

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR ME?

IS IT GOOD FOR ME TO PICK UP THESE BOOKS?

TO MOVE THIS?

TO PICK UP THIS TYPEWRITER? IS THAT WHAT'S GOING TO KILL ME?

HAL, STOP IT, PLEASE, NOW.

DOUBLE TALK! DOUBLE TALK, THAT'S ALL I GET FROM HIM.

HE LOOKS AT MY CARDIOGRAM AND HE SAYS, "STABLE."

IF I'M SO STABLE, WHY DO I FEEL GOOD TODAY AND YESTERDAY I COULDN'T EVEN BREATHE?

YOU KNOW, JUST ONCE,

JUST ONCE I WOULD LIKE FOR HIM TO SAY, "I DO NOT KNOW."

BUT WHAT I GET FROM HIM IS, "YOU'RE ALWAYS TRYING TO DO TOO MUCH."

I-IT'S YOUR FAULT, YOUR FAULT, NEVER THEIRS.

ALL RIGHT, I KNOW YOU'RE IN A RAGE

AT YOUR SICKNESS, AT THE DOCTORS

AND I UNDERSTAND, HAL. I REALLY DO.

IF IT WERE HAPPENING TO ME--

YES, WE DO!

BECAUSE YOU DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON THEM. YOU BRING IT HOME TO ME,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT.

MY QUARREL ISN'T WITH YOU. YOU'RE SPLENDID.

DON'T "SPLENDID" ME.

JUST TELL ME WHAT I'M TO DO.

WELL, YELL BACK AT ME LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO.

DON'T YOU SEE I CAN'T?

BECAUSE YOU'RE...

I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU.

I NEVER WANT TO HURT YOU.

(Martha) HE STARTED DRAWING HIS OWN BLOOD.

HAVING IT ANALYZED. KEEPING CHARTS.

IT'S THE DOCTOR IN HIM.

TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE FEVERS. THE CRAZY UPS AND DOWNS.

MOE, FEVERS HAVE TO BE CAUSED BY SOMETHING.

MAYBE I SHOULD GIVE HIM ANOTHER WORKOUT.

SCHEDULE SOME APPOINTMENTS FOR DR. LEAR.

IF YOU COULD JUST FIND OUT WHY, THEN--THEN YOU COULD STABILIZE IT.

MARTHA, THIS IS A MAN WITH A HEART MUSCLE THAT'S BARELY FUNCTIONING,

AND ANY CHANGE, FOOD, HEAT, FLUID, ANYTHING,

IS ENOUGH TO UPSET ITS BALANCE.

I UNDERSTAND THAT, BUT--

LOOK,

WE'RE NOT GOING TO KEEP HIM AROUND FOR 10 YEARS.

BUT MAYBE WE CAN HANG ON FOR A FEW MONTHS. EVEN A YEAR.

[telephone buzzes]

YES?

ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE READY.

[hangs up telephone]

MARTHA, I HAVE AN EMERGENCY.

(Moe) I'LL CALL HAL LATER.

O.K.?

[mumbling]

[gasping]

[Harold shushing]

HONEY, IT'S ALL RIGHT, I'M HERE. I'M HERE.

[panting]

[dog barking]

HMM. SMELLS MUSTY.

IT SMELLS TERRIFIC.

WE MADE IT, KID.

WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE A GROCERY RUN.

NOT TODAY. YOU'RE GONNA GET A GREAT TUNA FISH SANDWICH.

LOOK AT THIS.

THERE'S FRUIT AND CHEESE IN THERE.

I KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS.

"EAT AND DRINK UP, YOU'RE BEHIND A FEW.

BOB AND ANNIE, CHET, HELEN AND PHIL."

PHIL, TOO? I DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE AT THE LAKE.

L'CHAIM. L'CHAIM.

GRANDMA!

[all laughing]

JUDY, WILL YOU TELL THIS CHARACTER

THE NAME'S MARTHA?

RIGHT.

GIVE GRANDPA A HUG THERE.

GIVE ME THE BIGGEST OLD HUG YOU CAN GIVE ME,

AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO GO FISHING.

WE'RE FISHING. WE HAVEN'T CAUGHT ANYTHING YET,

BUT I'M PRETTY SURE WE WILL.

[bell tolling]

THIS IS A

KITTY CAT,

AND

ME-OH

MEOW.

AND THIS IS THE FELLOW

WITH THE GREAT BIG EYES,

AN OWL.

HOO HOO.

THE CHILD IS A GENIUS.

[Judy giggling]

AND THIS

IS A...

IT'S A...

SHEEP.

BAAAA.

(Harold) BAAAA.

NOW THIS TABLE,

YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS,

MY GRANDFATHER WON IN A CRAP GAME.

[all exclaiming]

I'LL BET YOU DID.

THEY ALWAYS TOLD ME YOU WON IT IN A POKER GAME.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT. TABLE STAKES.

[all laughing]

TABLE STAKES?

THAT'S MY CUE.

I HAVE WRITTEN A POEM

FOR HAL.

ANOTHER POEM, ANNIE?

HE'S GOT NO CHOICE. HE'S A CAPTIVE.

[all laughing]

(Martha) LET'S HEAR IT.

PLEASE DON'T DANCE UPON THE TABLE

NOT TO SAY THAT YOU'RE NOT ABLE

EXCEPT THAT MARTHA MIGHT COMPLAIN

IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY KICK OVER THE CHAMPAGNE

[all chattering]

(Annie) SO LIGHT THE CANDLES BANG THE DRUMS

LET THE CELEBRATION START

AND PLEASE ACCEPT THIS ACCOLADE

TO YOUR STRONG

AND TENDER HEART

AW, ANNIE.

THAT IS SO NICE!

[all chattering]

(boy) MOMMY! MOMMY!

I'LL GO.

ARE YOU SURE? BECAUSE I CAN...

YEAH. IT MIGHT JUST BE HIS TEDDY OR SOMETHING.

LET MARTHA TAKE CARE OF THE BABY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

[whimpering]

HEY THERE, CHARACTER.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

[whimpering]

OH, NO, NO, NO.

THAT'S O.K.

IT'S O.K.

YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO TOMORROW?

WE'RE GOING TO BAKE SOME COOKIES.

WHAT KIND DO YOU WANT? HUH?

[whimpering]

SUGAR?

CHOCOLATE?

(boy) CHOCOLATE.

THERE, THERE, THERE.

GRANDMA'S HERE.

GRANDMA'S HERE.

(Martha) I WISH WE'D HAD A BABY.

WELL, WE TALKED ABOUT IT.

IT WAS NEVER THE RIGHT TIME.

I KNOW.

[sniffles]

I JUST

WISH.

WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

WELL, MICHAEL'S OUT SAILING,

AND YOUR FATHER'S ASLEEP.

THAT WAS A PRETTY BIG NIGHT WE HAD LAST NIGHT, YOU KNOW.

HEY, CHARACTER. DO YOU WANNA WAIT TILL WE GET THESE BAKED?

[Harold gasping] MARTHA!

MARTHA!

ARE YOU IN FAILURE?

[panting] IF I GET A-ANY WORSE,

CALL THE RESCUE SQUAD.

WHAT IS IT?

(Harold) NOTHING.

NOTHING.

TAKE HIM DOWNSTAIRS, JUDY.

I'LL BE FINE.

I'LL BE READY FOR YOUR COOKIES.

[panting]

I'M GONNA CALL MOE.

HE'D BETTER INCREASE YOUR DIURETICS.

OR SHOOT ME.

[oxygen hissing]

AND BE SURE TO PUT IN THAT DISHWASHER

FOR NEXT SUMMER.

I'M TIRED OF DISHPAN HANDS.

NAG, NAG, NAG.

HAL, WE'D BETTER GET STARTED FOR THE AIRPORT.

WHERE'S THE REST OF THE BAGS?

NO, I'M JUST TAKING MY BRIEFCASE

WITH MY SHAVING GEAR.

I'M BRINGING THE REST WHEN I DRIVE DOWN TOMORROW.

WHEN YOU GET TO THE AIRPORT,

WILL YOU ASK THEM TO RADIO AHEAD

FOR A WHEELCHAIR?

WHY NOT A STRETCHER?

HE'S JUST SO PIGHEADED!

HE INSISTS ON

GOING ALONE.

[bell tolling]

[birds chirping]

I CAN MANAGE.

CALL ME WHEN YOU GET HOME.

STOP WORRYING, MUSHY, NOW.

[breathing heavily]

PARDON ME, SIR.

EXCUSE ME,

EXCUSE ME. ARE YOU GOING TO THE TAXI STAND?

[panting]

EXCUSE ME, SIR.

UH...

I HAVE A HEART PROBLEM,

AND I CAN'T CARRY THIS. COULD YOU HELP ME?

WHAT KIND OF HEART PROBLEM?

I HAD SURGERY AND A BYPASS.

HAS HE GOT A SCAR?

YES, MA'AM.

YOU KNOW, SOMEONE COULD BE CARRYING A BOMB.

YES, I...

REALLY NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT.

[panting]

[phone ringing]

[phone buzzing]

YES?

(woman) I'VE GOT MRS. LEAR ON THE PHONE.

MARTHA! HOW'S THE WEATHER UP THERE?

(Martha) MOE, WHAT IS IT?

HE'S HAD A BAD NIGHT.

BUT HE'S FEELING BETTER.

I TOOK AN X-RAY THIS MORNING.

IT'S NOT GOOD, MARTHA.

(Moe) HIS HEART'S ENLARGED.

(Martha) ENLARGED?

(Moe) THERE'S DETERIORATION THERE.

ONE OF HIS BYPASSES

MAY BE CLOSED OFF.

I'M BEING STRAIGHT WITH YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

LAST SPRING YOU SAID MONTHS.

HE HAS ALMOST NO HEART MUSCLE, MARTHA.

BUT YOU MUST HAVE SOME IDEA OF HOW LONG?

YOU MUST HAVE HAD OTHER PATIENTS LIKE HIM.

NO.

NO ONE AS BAD AS HE IS

WHO STAYED ALIVE THIS LONG.

WELCOME HOME.

L'CHAIM. L'CHAIM.

WHAT DID MOE SAY?

OH, HE SAID, "TAKE IT EASY."

AND?

HONEY, NO SHOP TALK, HUH?

THIS IS OUR FIRST NIGHT HOME TOGETHER.

I LIKE THOSE PAJAMAS.

WHERE'D I GET THEM?

ITALY?

NO, MEXICO CITY.

REMEMBER THAT LITTLE SHOP IN THE HOTEL?

OH, SOMEONE CALLED.

I SAID YOU'D MEET THEM.

WHO?

WHERE?

OH, IT WAS...

ESTELLE?

BARNEY?

LINDA?

JUDY?

NO.

FROM THE TIMES? WALTER?

NO, DAMN IT.

FLO? MY MOTHER?

THAT'S IT. YOUR MOTHER.

SHE'S ARRIVING

WEDNESDAY ON THE 4:00 BUS.

[horn honking]

(Martha) AND THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST

FRENCH RESTAURANTS IN NEW YORK.

WE HAD TO GET BARNEY TO MAKE US THE RESERVATIONS.

THAT'S NICE.

MARTHA,

ISN'T THAT FOOD A LITTLE RICH?

MAYBE MOM WOULD RATHER SOMETHING ELSE.

CHINESE?

CHINESE IS NICE.

THERE'S THAT TERRIFIC PLACE

DOWN IN THE VILLAGE. WHAT'S IT--

PEKING INN.

OF COURSE,

IF THEY MAKE IT TOO SPICY...

YOU ORDER FOR ME, MARTHA, LOVE,

YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE.

ALL RIGHT, UH,

CHICKEN MATZO BALL SOUP

ONE MATZO BALL IS ENOUGH.

AND A CORNED BEEF SANDWICH

UH, VERY LEAN.

OR WOULD TONGUE BE BETTER?

I GUESS THE CORNED BEEF.

MAKE THAT 2 AND I'LL HAVE COFFEE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

SHOULD I HAVE THE

TURKEY OR SCALLOPS?

EITHER ONE.

I'LL TRY THE SCALLOPS.

(waiter) YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH? THEY'RE FROZEN.

BUT THE SOLE IS NICE.

O.K., THE SOLE.

DIDN'T WE HAVE, UH, SOLE...

LAST NIGHT?

LAST WEEK.

ANYWAY, I'M NOT TOO CRAZY ABOUT SOLE.

WAITER! WAITER!

COULD I CHANGE THAT TO TURKEY, PLEASE?

(waiter) WHY NOT?

ARE THEY GOING TO BRING BREAD AND BUTTER?

THEY USUALLY DO.

I SHOULDN'T EAT IT, THOUGH, SHOULD I?

IF I'M HAVING A SANDWICH?

MAYBE I'D BE

BETTER OFF WITH THE SOLE.

HONEY, DO YOU MIND IF I CHANGED MY ORDER AGAIN?

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT ANYONE ORDERS!

I'LL BE BACK.

(Harold) MARTHA!

[sobbing]

YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING.

I--

I AM

TRAPPED IN HELPLESSNESS.

YOURS, HERS,

MINE.

GOD, I AM DROWNING IN IT!

HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?

OH, I AM SO ASHAMED. GOD!

I DIDN'T MEAN IT.

I COULDN'T. I COULDN'T.

MUSHY,

I CAN'T ESCAPE.

YOU CAN.

GET AWAY FROM ME.

PLEASE, GO SOMEWHERE.

NO. YOU SHOULD LEAVE ME.

I WOULD.

I CAN'T WALK!

[sobbing]

[audience laughing on television]

(woman #1) YOUR BRIEF AFFAIR

WITH PETER WAS MEANINGFUL.

REMEMBER THAT, THEN.

HOLD ON TO IT.

(woman #2) BRIEF AFFAIR!

[audience laughing]

MY BRIEF AFFAIR?

MAUDE, I WAS THE BIG LOVE OF HIS LIFE.

ME. YOU WERE JUST A FLING!

VIVIENNE, I AM TRYING TO BE KIND,

SO KNOCK IT OFF.

[audience laughing]

YOU'RE FULL OF BULL.

[audience laughing]

VIVIENNE, I CAN ACCEPT THAT COMMENT

BECAUSE I KNOW IT COMES FROM A HEART THAT IS BROKEN.

BUT DON'T PUSH IT, OR YOU'LL HAVE A LEG TO MATCH.

[laughing]

[coughing]

QUICK, GET ANOTHER CHANNEL.

SOMETHING SAD.

NEWS.

THAT'S TOO SAD.

[coughing]

YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT IN FAILURE?

[coughing] NO. I KNOW WHEN I'M IN FAILURE.

I'VE BEEN THERE.

MARTHA, GET OFF THE CASE.

[coughing]

WHAT DOES MOE SAY ABOUT THE WHEEZING AND COUGHING?

"MAYBE A VIRUS.

"GIVE HIM ASPIRIN.

LET'S WATCH IT."

I COULD WRITE THE DIALOGUE MYSELF.

WOULDN'T HE BE BETTER OFF IN THE HOSPITAL?

YES!

BUT YOU HEARD HIM. "MARTHA, GET OFF THE CASE."

I'M SO TIRED OF BEING A NAG!

SOMETIMES I THINK I'D...

JUST LIKE TO...

FLY AWAY SOMEWHERE.

LOOK, I'M HERE.

FLY!

AT LEAST FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS.

I MEAN IT.

GO. DO SOMETHING.

ANYTHING.

[all chattering]

$2,500 THIS WAY NOW.

$2000-- AND $3,000.

$3,000 THIS WAY, AT $3,000.

$3,500.

$3,500 ON MY RIGHT NOW,

FOR $3,500.

FOR $3,500!

ON THE RIGHT SIDE. LADY'S BID.

$3,500.

[mallet knocks]

NEXT LOT THIS EVENING

IS A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE OF VENETIAN GLASS.

A VERY HANDSOME CHANDELIER,

AS YOU CAN SEE COMING OUT HERE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, FOR THIS PIECE?

HANDSOME LIGHT. $500? $500 BID THIS WAY AT $500.

$550.

$550 THIS WAY. WE'RE GOING AT $550. $600.

$600 THIS SIDE OF THE ROOM. IT'S $650.

$650 ON MY RIGHT, AT $650. $700.

$700, WHERE I'M POINTING ON THE LEFT SIDE NOW FOR $750.

$800. $850.

$850, THIS WAY. $900 ANYWHERE? $900.

$900 ON THE AISLE HERE, THANK YOU, MA'AM.

$900, WHERE I'M POINTING.

$900 ON THE AISLE, WHERE I'M POINTING ON THE RIGHT SIDE.

[mallet knocks]

THE NEXT LOT WE HAVE THIS EVENING

IS CERTAINLY ONE OF THE MORE INTERESTING ONES.

IT'S A CARROUSEL HORSE THAT SAW MANY YEARS OF SERVICE AT ASBURY PARK IN NEW JERSEY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK TO START AT?

A COUPLE HUNDRED SOMEWHERE? $200?

$200 BID, THANK YOU, AT $200.

$200 LOT, AND 50.

THANK YOU, SIR. $250.

$300. $300 LOT, AND 50. $350.

$400. $450, YOUR TURN. $450.

$500, DOWN AT THE LEFT. $550, THANK YOU.

$550.

$600. YOU LIKE. $600. $650.

$650, STANDING AT THE RIGHT SIDE, AT $650.

IT'S $700. YOUR TURN AT $700.

$700 ON THE LEFT, ALL RIGHT. $750.

MAKE IT $750.

$750, WHERE I'M POINTING, $800.

$800 LOT NOW, $800.

$800...

[wheezing]

WHAT IS IT?

WE'D BETTER GET TO THE HOSPITAL.

[coughing]

OH, MUSHY, WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME AND GET SOME REST?

I WILL.

I WILL, SWEETIE.

PILL TIME!

WHAT'S THE BLUE ONE?

THAT'S MY APHRODISIAC.

WHAT'S THE TEMPERATURE?

(Martha) 105!

DON'T THEY CALL YOU?

SH-SHOULDN'T THEY BE DOING SOMETHING?

MARTHA, CALM DOWN.

THEY HAVE ORDERS. HE'S IN A HOSPITAL.

HE'S BEING TAKEN CARE OF.

[laughing]

YOU SHOULD GO ON HOME.

I'M STAYING.

[clicks]

THANK YOU.

[oxygen hissing]

[breathing heavily]

WE'D LIKE TO LISTEN TO YOUR LUNGS AGAIN.

[groans]

YEAH.

BREATHE, PLEASE.

[wheezing]

AGAIN, PLEASE.

AND AGAIN.

[wheezing]

[doctors chattering]

HIS ROUTS ARE WORSE.

SHOULDN'T HE HAVE MORE DIURETICS?

NO.

KEEPS HIM AWAKE.

(Harold) WHERE YOU BEEN?

HAD A CIGARETTE.

OH, I WISH YOU'D STOP, MUSHY.

WHAT'S THE PRESSURE?

90 OVER 56.

WHAT IS THAT NOW?

103.9.

OH, FEELS HOTTER.

TRY TO GET SOME SLEEP, DOCTOR.

[wheezing]

[sneezing repeatedly]

HAL, WHAT IS IT?

[wheezing]

I CAN'T STOP.

[continues sneezing]

MY NOSE IS BURNING.

MY HUSBAND CAN'T STOP SNEEZING. IF--IF SOMEBODY COULD JUST--

AS SOON AS THEY'RE FREE, THEY'LL COME.

THERE ARE OTHER SICK PEOPLE HERE.

[Harold continues sneezing]

I'VE GOT TO STOP.

PLEASE, MY HUSBAND CAN'T BREATHE!

WHO TURNED THIS UP? IT'S TWICE AS HIGH AS IT SHOULD BE.

PROBABLY BURNED HIS NOSE. I'LL GET SOME OINTMENT.

[panting]

[both chattering]

EXCUSE ME.

HE NEEDS TO SLEEP. CAN'T HE HAVE SOMETHING?

WHEN IS DR. LEAR DUE FOR VALIUM?

WELL, NOT FOR ANOTHER 2 HOURS.

BUT HE'S DESPERATE FOR SLEEP.

[yawning] WHO ISN'T?

O.K., GIVE HIM WHATEVER HE WANTS.

THANK YOU.

[blood pressure cuff inflating]

WHAT NOW?

A LITTLE LOWER. 82 OVER 56.

LIFT ME HIGHER?

I'M GETTING WEAKER.

WEAKER.

(Martha) NURSE! NURSE!

YOU'VE GOT TO CALL THE INTERN.

HE'S GONE TO SLEEP.

WAKE HIM!

I CAN'T, MRS. LEAR, NOT IF I WANT TO KEEP MY JOB.

I'M SORRY.

[Harold gasping]

[gasping] IT'S GETTING WORSE.

GOT TO GET...

THE DOCTOR.

YOU'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.

WHAT IS IT NOW?

ABOUT THE SAME.

IS IT REALLY?

NO, IT'S IN THE LOW 70'S.

(nurse) I DON'T LIKE IT.

I'M GONNA WAKE THE DOCTOR.

YOU'RE NOT FEELING TOO WELL?

WELL, LET'S HAVE A LISTEN. LEAN FORWARD PLEASE.

I CAN'T.

[breathing with difficulty]

BE RIGHT BACK.

BUT...

THEY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.

THEY WILL. THEY WILL, DARLING.

I'M GONNA STOP ALL HIS MEDICATIONS

TILL THE DOCTORS SEE HIM IN ROUNDS AT 8:00.

BUT, T-THAT'S OVER 2 HOURS FROM NOW.

I'LL CALL DR. SILVERMAN.

I JUST CALLED HIM.

I'M GONNA START AN I.V. ON HIM.

WHAT FOR?

TO ESTABLISH A LINE IF WE NEED IT.

I CAN'T HEAR IT.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

(Harold) IT MEANS I'M DYING.

LISTEN TO ME.

I'M DEHYDRATED,

B-BARELY ANY PULSE,

NO URINE SINCE MY FEVER SPIKED LAST NIGHT,

MY KIDNEYS HAVE STOPPED FUNCTIONING.

TELL THEM TO HURRY, OR I'LL DIE.

(nurse) YES, DR. LEAR.

DON'T WORRY, THEY'LL BE HERE SOON.

WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?

7:00. SOON, SOON.

GOD HELP ME.

HANG ON, DARLING.

I'M DROWNING.

CAN'T--CAN'T BREATHE.

[shouting] OH, TRY, TRY!

COME ON!

THAT'S IT. O.K.

[doctors chattering]

HERE WE ARE.

GOOD MORNING, SIR. HOW ARE YOU DOING?

WOULD YOU WAIT OUTSIDE, MA'AM.

(doctor) C.C., STAT.

GET A GRIP. START ANOTHER LINE, DOCTOR.

GET AN EMPTY BAG.

THIS MAN'S GOING INTO ARREST.

(Moe) MARTHA.

MOE!

HE'S DYING!

ALL RIGHT, MARTHA, I'M HERE NOW.

HAL?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!

HAL, WE KNOW WHAT TO DO.

WHY HAVEN'T YOU MOVED HIM BEFORE THIS? GET HIM ON A GURNEY.

I'M DYING, DOCTOR.

HURRY, EVERYONE.

[doctors chattering]

WATCH THE TANK!

[all chattering]

WATCH THE MACHINE.

CAN I--

WHAT FLOOR?

4! 4!

PLEASE!

I'M SORRY, NO.

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

JUST WAIT. THEY'LL COME FOR YOU.

[television playing]

[people chattering]

HUSBAND?

MINE, TOO.

HE WAS WAITING FOR A PLANE AT KENNEDY AND JUST DROPPED.

WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY?

HIS, UH, AORTA IS RIPPED OPEN.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT AN AORTA IS.

CRAZY, ISN'T IT?

DON'T LOSE HOPE.

THEY'RE STILL WORKING ON HIM.

BUT, UH,

IT LOOKS BAD, MARTHA.

IS HE CONSCIOUS?

MMM-HMM.

I'LL LET YOU KNOW AS SOON AS YOU CAN GO IN.

MARTHA,

I WANT YOU TO KNOW,

THEY HAVE MADE A TRULY HEROIC EFFORT.

MRS. BAILEY.

YES?

DON'T LOSE HOPE.

WE MAY STILL BE ABLE TO SEE HIM BEFORE...

MARTHA,

AT LEAST YOU'RE SURE EVERYONE DID EVERYTHING THEY COULD.

[angrily] NO, THEY DIDN'T.

HE KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING.

HE BEGGED, HE PLEADED.

AND THEY WOULDN'T LISTEN.

FOR 8 HOURS! THEY WOULDN'T LISTEN!

AND WHAT WAS I DOING?

WATCHING THE FOUL UPS, THE INSTITUTIONAL MADNESS OF IT ALL

AND ACCEPTING IT!

I SHOULD'VE RUN OUT OF THAT HALL

AND SCREAMED AND BEAT AT THEM!

MARTHA, DON'T.

YOU WERE HERE WITH HIM.

[sobbing]

DID YOU KNOW

THEY HAVE ANOTHER WAITING ROOM WITH A TELEVISION SET IN IT?

AND I ALWAYS WONDERED WHY.

AND NOW I THINK I KNOW.

ONE IS FOR BOREDOM,

AND THE OTHER FOR DESPAIR.

MARTHA, WE'VE ALL KNOWN THIS WAS COMING.

FOR 3 YEARS.

I KNOW AND I SHOULD BE READY.

BUT I'M NOT.

I CALLED JUDY. SHE'S GETTING IN TOUCH WITH MICHAEL.

GOOD.

WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?

WRITE AN OBITUARY.

YOU WANT IT IN THE TIMES?

DO THEY HAVE A PICTURE?

I DON'T-- I DON'T KNOW.

DON'T FORGET TO MENTION HIS PROGRAM.

THEY TOOK IT AWAY FROM HIM, BUT HE CREATED IT

AND I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT.

AND BARNEY, YOU'LL GIVE THE EULOGY AT THE...

HE'D LIKE THAT.

GONE?

NO, HE'S NOT GONE.

HE'S BETTER.

[sighs]

HE WANTS TO KNOW EVERY DETAIL OF THE TREATMENT.

HE'S DRIVING THEM ALL CRAZY IN THERE.

BETTER?

IT'S INCREDIBLE!

THAT FIGHT THAT KEEPS HIM ALIVE. INCREDIBLE!

[medical instruments beeping]

[whispering] IT'S O.K., GO ON. GO ON.

YOU KEEP FIGHTING.

YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT.

I'VE ALREADY MADE IT.

HERE'S A DIRECT NUMBER YOU CALL ANYTIME.

AND GO HOME NOW.

I WILL. I JUST WANT TO SAY GOODBYE TO MRS. BAILEY.

SHE LEFT. HER HUSBAND...

(man on T.V.) AND I REMEMBER

A COUPLE MORE DOCTORS CAME IN WHILE WE WERE WORKING ON HIM

AND ONE OF THEM SAID, UH:

"YOU'RE ALL CRAZY HERE, THERE'S NO CHANCE, WHY DON'T YOU QUIT?"

AND THEN, INSIDE OF HALF AN HOUR THINGS STARTED TURNING AROUND, YOU KNOW?

I GOTTA SAY, I WAS AMAZED.

[phone ringing] HE COULD'VE SWITCHED AGAIN AT ANY MOMENT, BUT...

HELLO?

MRS. LEAR? IT'S BONNIE AT C.C.U.

DR. LEAR SAYS TO BRING ORANGES.

I WILL.

TELL HIM I WILL, I WILL!

[laughing]

THANK YOU!

(Estelle) WE LIKED PARIS THE BEST.

(man) YEAH, WE'RE GOING AGAIN NEXT MONTH.

AND I WAS FIGURING ON HITTING A FEW OF THOSE 3-STAR RESTAURANTS

AND THEN SHE TURNS AROUND AND BLOWS $350.00 ON A SUEDE BELT.

COME OFF IT.

IF YOU WEREN'T SO CHINTZY, WE WOULDN'T BE DRINKING THIS YUCKY WINE.

IT HAPPENS TO BE A VERY GOOD CABERNET.

ANYWAY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT WINES?

AS MUCH AS YOU KNOW ABOUT SUEDE BELTS.

YOU KNOW ZIP, SWEETIE.

DROP DEAD, SWEETIE.

EXCUSE ME FOR JUST A MINUTE.

HOW ABOUT IT? ANYBODY WANT MORE OF THIS YUCKY WINE

TO GO ALONG WITH THE BURNT CHICKEN?

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

I JUST CAN'T STAND WATCHING YOU TWO DO THAT TO EACH OTHER.

WHY GET MAD AT ME?

I'M MAD AT BOTH OF YOU.

DON'T YOU REALIZE HOW LUCKY YOU ARE?

WITH THAT CREEP, ALWAYS PUTTING ME DOWN?

BUT DROP DEAD?

WHAT IF HE DID?

YOU CAN TALK. HAL'S DIFFERENT.

I'M SORRY, ESTELLE. I JUST-- I HAVE TO GO.

[car honking]

WHY AREN'T YOU SLEEPING?

MARTHA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I JUST STOPPED BY.

GO TO SLEEP.

NO, COME IN.

COME HERE.

GIMME A KISS.

LIE DOWN. JUST FOR A MINUTE.

MAKE A CUP.

TALK TO ME.

ABOUT WHAT?

ABOUT MY DYING.

ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS.

YOUR FEARS.

YOU WANT ME TO?

YES.

DON'T HOARD THEM ANYMORE.

[sighs]

I AM SCARED.

I'M...

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GO ON WITHOUT YOU.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I DIED?

IF YOU DIED?

I'D HAVE MY TIME OF MOURNING.

IT WOULD BE HARD, BUT...

I THINK WHAT WOULD HELP WOULD BE

TO STAY INVOLVED WITH PEOPLE, TO WORK,

TO DO THE THINGS I ENJOY.

SAIL, MAKE PLANTERS FOR THE TERRACE.

YOU'D STAY IN OUR APARTMENT?

WHERE WE WERE TOGETHER?

YES.

I WOULDN'T RUN AWAY FROM THE MEMORIES OF YOU.

I'D WANT FAMILIAR THINGS AROUND.

THERE'S A PICTURE MARTHA HUNG.

THERE'S THE DESK SHE WORKED AT.

THIS IS THE STREET WHERE WE WALKED.

[sighs]

IT WOULD BE THE DEATH OF A PART OF ME.

BUT,

LISTEN, MUSHY.

THERE WOULD NEVER BE A QUESTION

ABOUT MY NOT SURVIVING.

[sniffling]

NOW, SLEEP.

I GOTTA GO TONIGHT. BUT IT'S WONDERFUL.

HE'S INSISTING. FIRST YOU'VE ALL GOTTA HAVE THE HOT AND SOUR SOUP.

YEAH, AND THEN THE LAY TONG SHRIMP.

HE ORDERED THE WHOLE BLOODY DINNER FOR US!

AND, HE KEEPS WANTING TO KNOW WHEN WE CAN GO BACK UP TO THE LAKE.

MOE SAYS IT'S A REMARKABLE RECOVERY.

OF COURSE, TENUOUS.

ARE WE TALKING ABOUT WEEKS?

IF NOT MONTHS.

NOT NECESSARILY.

THERE IS ONE HOPE.

YOU MEAN A TRANSPLANT.

(Barney) WHAT DOES MOE THINK?

I DON'T KNOW, HE HASN'T CALLED ME SINCE THAT NIGHT.

WELL HE KNOWS YOU FEEL IT WASN'T HANDLED WELL.

THERE'S A MASTERPIECE OF UNDERSTATEMENT.

BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.

IF WE'RE SERIOUS

I THINK WE HAVE TO ASK MOE TO EXPLORE THE POSSIBILITY

WITH THIS MAN CHUMWAY AT STANFORD.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WELL, IT'S A BIG STEP.

I DON'T REALLY KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT IT.

THE PAST COUPLE YEARS HAVE BEEN TOUGH.

THEY'VE ALSO BEEN SOME OF THE BEST TIMES WE'VE ALL HAD TOGETHER.

IF HE DIED TOMORROW, I'D FEEL I UNDERSTAND HIM MORE THAN I EVER DID.

AND THAT WOULD BE ENOUGH FOR YOU?

NO.

I DON'T WANT TO DO NOTHING AND JUST LET HIM GO.

THEN I THINK WE HAVE TO TALK TO MOE.

(Moe) I'M DISCHARGING HIM ON MONDAY.

WONDERFUL.

IT'S OUR 15TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.

OH, CONGRATULATIONS!

I WANT HIM TO HAVE PRIVATE NURSES, THE FIRST WEEK AT LEAST.

I'LL CALL THE REGISTRY TOMORROW.

UH, MOE?

I KNOW MICHAEL SPOKE TO YOU ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF A TRANSPLANT.

AFTER HAL IS HOME AND SETTLED, CAN I COME IN AND TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT?

YEAH, OF COURSE.

THANK YOU.

(Harold) DO YOU KNOW MY BLOOD PRESSURE?

YES, IT'S STABLE AROUND 80 OVER 60.

DO YOU KNOW IF I'M ALLERGIC TO ANY MEDICATION?

HYDRALAZINE.

DO YOU KNOW MY OCCUPATION?

I KNOW YOU'RE A DOCTOR.

WHAT?

HE INTERVIEWS THEM AS IF IT WAS A CABINET APPOINTMENT.

THAT'S BECAUSE THE ONE HE TRIED YESTERDAY SAID:

"OH, I SEE YOU'VE DONE YOUR PEE-PEE."

I THOUGHT HE WOULD EXPLODE.

YOU'LL DO.

OH, HAL, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.

I WASN'T SURE YOU'D REMEMBER.

MICHAEL AND I REMEMBERED.

"TO MY MUSHY:

"AND THE NEXT 15.

WITH MY LOVE."

(Moe) MARTHA, YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL.

YES, BUT DESPITE THAT.

WE'RE HOPING YOU'LL USE YOUR PERSONAL INFLUENCE WITH CHUMWAY

AND IF HAL'S AGE IS THE ONLY DETERRENT, MOE--

IT ISN'T, IT ISN'T.

THE FACT IS, THE OPERATION IS SO TRAUMATIC

THEY'LL ONLY CONSIDER PATIENTS WITH ABSOLUTE MENTAL INTEGRITY.

AND SINCE HIS SURGERY,

WELL, AS YOU KNOW, HAL HAS NOT HAD THAT.

HIS PHYSICAL STATE IS PRECARIOUS, TO SAY THE LEAST.

NOW WE DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH FURTHER TISSUE DAMAGE THERE'S BEEN.

AND WHAT CAUSED THIS LAST ATTACK.

WE DON'T?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

I MEAN, WHAT ABOUT THE STRESS?

OF 8 HOURS OF LOW BLOOD PRESSURE AND FAILURE?

LOOK, LET'S NOT EXAGGERATE.

I'VE BEEN OVER THE CHARTS OF THAT NIGHT AND THE SIGNS WEREN'T THAT BAD!

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT THOSE CHARTS SAY, MOE.

I WAS THERE, ALL NIGHT, AND I KEPT MY OWN NOTES.

YES, I KNOW, I AM AN ANNOYANCE TO YOU.

POKING AND PRODDING,

WHEN I SHOULD BE LISTENING RESPECTFULLY AND NODDING MY HEAD.

THAT'S NONSENSE!

I NEVER EXPECTED YOU TO DO THAT.

BUT YOU'RE AN AMATEUR, PLAYING DOCTOR,

GRASPING AT STRAWS.

LOOK AT THESE TRANSPLANT STUDIES.

I MEAN, IT'S EXPERIMENTAL WORK.

THE MORTALITY RATES ARE DISMAL.

LOOK, YOU ARE ASKING ME TO ARGUE VIGOROUSLY

FOR A PROCEDURE WHICH I CANNOT RECOMMEND

NOT EVEN FOR YOUR WIFE?

NOT FOR MY WIFE, NOT FOR MY CHILDREN,

NOT FOR ANYONE I CARE ABOUT.

WOULD YOU AT LEAST PRESENT THE CASE WITHOUT BIAS?

IF YOU INSIST.

(Martha) POOR MOE.

WE BOTH KNEW THE DOCTORS COULDN'T DO THE IMPOSSIBLE.

THEY COULDN'T MAKE HIM WELL.

IN THE END, THERE WAS NO TRANSPLANT.

MAYBE BECAUSE I KNEW I COULD NEVER UPROOT HIM

TO SIT IN A STRANGE PLACE

AND WAIT FOR A HEART HE MIGHT NEVER GET.

MAYBE IT WAS A FAILURE OF MY WILL.

BUT I PUT MY MONEY ON HIS.

INSTEAD, WE WENT TO THE LAKE THAT SUMMER.

AND HE SAT ON THE PIER

AND WATCHED OTHER PEOPLE SAIL HIS SUNFISH.

BACK IN NEW YORK,

HE SPENT EVERY DAY AT HIS DESK.

PAYING BILLS,

CLIPPING FROM MEDICAL JOURNALS,

SCRIBBLING "VERY GOOD" AND "SAVE THIS"

IN THE MARGINS.

HE REORDERED HIS PERSONAL STATIONERY,

1,000 SHEETS,

AND USED DOZENS OF THEM ON LETTERS

TO THE EDITORIAL PAGES OF THE TIMES,

TO CON ED, TO SHELL OIL.

ON A WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON,

MORE THAN 2 YEARS LATER,

HAL CAME INTO MY STUDY.

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU HAD TO WAKE ME

UNLESS MY MOTHER WAS CALLING.

I DIDN'T WAKE YOU.

HAL, YOUR MOTHER'S BEEN DEAD FOR 15 YEARS.

[crying] WHAT?

[Harold sobbing]

HERE WE GO, MUSHY.

NO.

NO. NO.

[doorbell buzzing]

THANK YOU FOR GETTING HERE SO FAST.

PLEASE, JUST WAIT HERE AND I'LL GET HIM.

(Martha) HE NEEDED HIS SOCKS.

HE NEEDED HIS RAZOR, HIS TOOTHBRUSH,

HIS EYEGLASSES, HIS PEN, HIS NOTEBOOK.

THEY'RE HERE.

DON'T RUSH ME. MY PANTS.

YOU DON'T NEED PANTS, YOU HAVE YOUR ROBE ON.

I WANT TO WEAR PANTS.

MY LIGHTWEIGHT JEANS.

WANT A STRETCHER, SIR?

NO.

YOU WANT TO GO BY AMBULANCE, SIR?

NO.

WHAT TIME IS IT?

2:35.

WRITE DOWN "2:35."

"CHILLS SUBSIDED.

"WEAKNESS.

IRREGULAR PULSE."

[man chattering on police radio]

(nurse) WE GOT TO GET THROUGH TO THE ROOM.

LET'S GET HIS ROBE OFF.

O.K., JUST HELP ME WITH THIS, SIR. THAT'S IT.

UP YOU GO.

THAT'S IT. O.K.

LIE BACK. BACK YOU GO.

LET'S GET THE INTRAVENOUS IN HIM.

GET SOME OXYGEN, PLEASE.

YOU WANT THE ANESTHETICS DONE?

YES, PLEASE.

YOU GOT THE MORPHINE?

[medical instrument beeping]

O.K., WE GOT THE LINE.

O.K., MORPHINE'S IN.

TAKE IT EASY, MUSHY.

CHARLOTTE, COULD YOU GET THE LASIX?

(Charlotte) COMING.

WHERE'S MY NOTEBOOK?

IT'S HERE.

(Charlotte) LASIX.

WHAT TIME IS IT?

[doctors chattering]

3:10.

(doctor) WHAT'S HIS RHYTHM?

(nurse) HANG ON. HERE.

(doctor) LET'S GET AN ANESTHETIST DOWN HERE

PLEASE WRITE...

[E.K.G. flatlining]

(doctor) DR. LEAR, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

[doctor chattering]

(nurse) IS HE CONSCIOUS?

EXPENDITURE. WE NEED SOME RESPONSE

DR. LEAR?

[voice fading] DR. LEAR?

(Martha) HAL DIED AT 9:30 A.M.

18 HOURS AFTER AN ARREST

A HEART LIKE HIS HAD NO BUSINESS SURVIVING

MORE THAN MINUTES.

"I'LL NEVER GIVE UP," HE TOLD ME LONG AGO.

AND THE SWEET SON OF A BITCH NEVER DID.

PICKING UP A BOOK MANUSCRIPT?

YES.

HOW DO YOU GO BACK?

BUS, SOMETIMES SUBWAY.

DO ME A FAVOR? TAKE A CAB?

FIRST CLASS. RIGHT ON.

(Martha) AM I EVER GOING TO LET GO OF HIM?

(Harriet) MRS. LEAR? IT'S HARRIET MUIR.

I SOLD YOU YOUR HOUSE IN THE COUNTRY, REMEMBER?

I'VE BEEN GOING PAST YOUR HOUSE

ALMOST EVERYDAY FOR MONTHS.

I NOTICE YOU AREN'T USING IT.

(Martha) NO, WE-- I HAVEN'T BEEN THERE.

WOULD YOU CONSIDER SELLING IT?

I HAVE AN INTERESTED BUYER.

I--I DON'T KNOW.

I--I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU MULL IT OVER?

YOU CAN LET ME KNOW.

(Martha) HMM. SMELLS MUSTY.

(Harold) SMELLS TERRIFIC.

(Harold) WE MADE IT, KID.

(Martha) HEY, CHARACTER.

WANT TO WAIT TILL WE GET THESE BAKED?

(Harold) MARTHA!

[sniffling]

[sobbing]

[sobbing]

[sniffling]

(Martha) "DRINK UP. YOU'RE BEHIND A FEW."

BOB AND ANNIE. CHET AND HELEN."

[birds chirping]

L'CHAIM.

[curtains sliding open]