Original subtitles

Twelve o'clock already!

Baxter to control.

Come in Baxter.

I can't see Rostov.

Think he may have passed out in the bath?

Maybe,

can't tell for sure.

All right. You'd better carry out a routine sickness check.

Edwards.

Right...

Ready when you are.

Password.

Apricot.

Baxter.

Baxter.

Come in Baxter.

The other channel.

You're clear sir.

Baxter.

Baxter.

Baxter. What's happening?

Alarm. Sound the alarm.

Rostov's escaped.

What happened?

Rostov... there!

It is good to see old friends again.

A toast, to our benevolent host...

I give you... John Steed.

Oh.

Allow me.

And another toast.

Steed's partner in crime.

You certainly know how to pick them.

She's delectable, she's delicious... she's...

... a dab hand with a caviar canapé.

Gentlemen, I give you... Tara King.

- Tara King. - Tara King.

- Mm, and another toast. - Oh, no, it's my turn...

to Paul Ryder, and George Neville.

We trained together,

we fought together

and I hope we shall remain together for many years to come.

Oh dear, it's all gone solemn.

Positively sepulchral.

Ha. Ha. Ha. That'll never do.

Oh I don't know.

Steed was solemn enough during the E.B.A. weren't you Steed...

Remember that?

The E.B.A.

The E.B.A.

E.B.A.?

The Exploding Bootlaces Affair.

And the G.A.P. Don't let's forget that.

- G.A...? - Great Assassination Plot.

And what about the G.T.R.?

AHH! The G.T.R.

Couldn't possibly overlook the G.T.R.

The Great Train Robbery?

Granny Tiddyfeather's Rum.

A kick like a mule.

Home made.

Fortified us against the dawn vigils.

Yes and talking of dawn, it's time I was off.

Oh but surely you're not...

Look it's past five you know.

Five!

It's home with the milkman then.

I think I'll walk.

- Now look, I can drive... - Oh no,

it's not far, and it'll do me good.

'Till next time.

Next time it's my place.

Tara,

it's been a great pleasure meeting you.

Goodbye Paul.

- George. - Paul.

See you all again soon.

- Bye. - Bye bye.

Take care.

Right then,

let's have another one for the road.

I'm easily led.

And now I really must go.

A memorable evening Steed.

Made double memorable by your presence.

Thank you.

As Paul said, we must do it again soon.

Enemy Agents permitting.

Ha! Ha! let me give you a lift.

Ah, I wouldn't hear of it.

I'll grab a taxi at the end of the road.

- Tara. - Bye bye.

Call you early in the week old chap.

Fine.

- Goodnight. - Goodnight.

I like them. I like them very much.

So do you.

I wouldn't be here if it weren't for them.

Neville.

George Neville.

Neville. George Neville.

Neville.

George.

George.

Rostov.

Rostov must have been hiding in here somewhere.

And yet, I don't know.

I shouldn't have thought that Baxter

was the kind of man to make mistakes.

Plus the fact there isn't anywhere in here

a man could hide

and not be picked up by this.

Perhaps Rostov tampered with the scanner.

- You've checked it? - Yes.

- And? - Negative.

Baxter came in here,

Rostov suddenly materialised here...

he clobbers Baxter... out through the door...

then where?

Here...

He disappeared right here...

I told you... the whole thing's impossible.

But it happened Colonel...

it happened...

The hourly check?

No... half hourly... we've stepped

things up since Rostov got away.

- Mind if I come with you? - Not at all.

Lubin.

Looks harmless enough.

Steed, you said each of those men had an assigned target?

- That's right. - Who was Lubin's?

Paul Ryder...

And what about him... Ezdorf?

He was the ring leader,

the most dangerous of the three

and the toughest.

Yes but his target. Who was he sent to kill?

I don't know.

We interrogated him for three weeks, and he wouldn't break.

He never told us who his target was...

I'd like to talk to him.

Now?

Edwards!

- Yes sir. - Open up Ezdorf's cell.

Yes sir, right, password.

Damson.

I'll be here in the corridor.

Come in Steed.

I've been expecting you.

Rostov's escaped. It was inevitable that

you would come to question me.

Hm!

You don't change.

Nor you.

Externally perhaps not.

You got to great pains to ensure my physical fitness, but... a...

internally,

yes I have changed

a great deal.

I am resolute.

You were always that.

More resolute,

and bitter,

incredibly bitter...

- ... a drink? - Thank you.

It's good to see you Steed.

Very good to know that you are still alive.

I never thought I'd hear you say that.

To freedom.

It's been a long time...

a long time.

How do you occupy yourself?

I think... a ruminate.

I plan.

I immensely proud of Rostov.

I trained him you know.

He's my protege.

And now he's free.

And when Lubin has gone too...

Lubin!

Yes...

He will the next.

You can't keep us here much longer.

First Rostov,

then Lubin,

and then me.

You're bluffing.

Perhaps.

Perhaps not.

Colonel.

Colonel James.

Colonel!

After him.

Sir.

Colonel,

There's someone in Ezdorf's cell.

It's Steed. Get him out.

Edwards, open Ezdorf's cell.

- Password Damson. - Right.

Close cell.

He must have come up from behind.

- Edwards. - Sir.

- What's happening? - He's heading towards the East Wing sir.

The East Wing. Then we've got him.

Well, where is he?

I don't know sir. He was only a few yards ahead of us.

We could hear him.

All right. Keep searching.

Edwards.

Bright scarlet alert.

Warn all exterior guards...

nobody and nothing to leave the ground without a triple search...

Personal transport, supply wagons, the lot.

Right sir.

The cell was empty...

I went in and no Lubin.

And then... there he was.

I don't know how sir, it just happened.

Tara?

Hello Steed.

Get to Paul Ryder as quick as you can.

Tell him that Lubin has escaped.

I can't phone him,

he's moved his house and his phone is not fixed yet.

Tell him that Lubin is free.

- Lubin... you got that? - Right.

Just a second.

Did you get that other wallpaper?

I said did you get the other paper?

Ryder.

I am going to kill you, Ryder.

I'm going to complete my assignment.

Not there!

I wanted you to see me before I killed you.

Paul Ryder,

they got to Paul...

and you got there seconds after?

Split seconds...

I heard the shoot... ran into the apartment and...

No Lubin.

Steed, he just couldn't have got past me...

it's just impossible.

The whole business is impossible.

Lubin appears... then he disappears.

You don't believe in invisible men do you?

Only when I can't see them.

Right, let's get down to business.

Oh well, there's only one thing left...

Steed... that is not the answer.

Eh?

This is a clue.

Oh.

The contents of Lubin's cell.

Cigarettes and lighter... newspaper...

natural history magazine... vodka bottle.

- All seems normal enough. - Seems.

Vodka...

I'm sure that Lubin was a teetotaller.

It would be on file, wouldn't it.

I'll check at the Ministry.

And I'll check at the Monastery.

You know Steed, I think you're right.

Lubin didn't drink when he first came here...

it's only a month or so ago he put in a request to be allowed a liquor ration.

We let them have a bottle a month you know.

Do you think it might have some bearing?

Perhaps, but I can't see how. I imagine you've checked every bottle.

Oh, better than that. I sample them personally.

That's quite a good blend.

I should think that Lubin took to drink out of sheer boredom.

Ezdorf, he's the only one of the trio left.

Well, we've trebled the guard and spot checks right round the clock.

Guards and checks haven't down us much good so far.

Oh for pity's sake man, what more can I do?

Chains and manacles.

If we resort to that sort of things we might as well...

Join the other side.

I'd like to see Ezdorf again.

- Password pineapple. - Right sir.

I thought all you did was think.

And plan.

But a plan remains a plan

unless one has the physical prowess

to put into action.

So you're still going to run away from here...

Run?

No I don't think I shall run.

I shall walk.

I shall savour it. A pace at a time.

No Steed, I will not be running.

You're putting on a fine show of confidence.

I'm also being incredibly well mannered.

Delicately avoiding the taboo subject.

Leaving it to you

to mention the unmentionable.

Lubin.

Ah, I wanted to spare you feelings.

Cheers.

What was it you said the last time you were here?

Oh "you're bluffing", yes, that's what you said...

"you're bluffing".

Well, was I?

And now you say "you're putting on a fine show of confidence"...

well am I?

So you will escape.

I will escape.

And complete your assignment.

You can depend on it.

I will complete my assignment.

Who is your target?

Oh Steed.

We tried to extract from you before, didn't we?

I told them they'd never break you.

Not you Ezdorf.

You're far too good at your job.

No better than you Steed.

We are evenly matched, you and I, aren't we?

That's why they chose me.

It amuses me to tell you now...

It is you Steed.

You are my target.

I'll assign a special bodyguard to you.

That won't be necessary, Colonel.

But if it's you he's after and he gets out...

Then it's up to you to see he doesn't get out, isn't it?

Dodge!

Dodge?

Professor Percival Dodge.

The man who vetted this place sir...

gave it final clearance.

Oh that chap. The Ministry's Pet Escapologist...

He's what you might call a scientific Houdini.

- Professor. - Urggh...

wish you wouldn't do that.

How are you getting on?

I've covered the East Wing and Lubin's room with a fine tooth...

hammer...

solid gra...

granite. Two foot thick.

Take a lifetime to chisel through here.

No chance of a secret panel or trap door?

No, I've studied the plans,

been over the place with a microscope.

How anyone could escape from here, bewilders me.

Why... given time, I pride myself there

isn't a safe I couldn't pick or

lock I couldn't crack.

You were saying...

That even I couldn't get out of here!

I know. I've tried!

Files on Rostow, Lubin and Ezdorf.

Thank you.

Will you excuse me... feeding time.

Lunch already.

I believe in feeding at short intervals...

every twenty-five minutes.

Ah...

mmm... delicious little ants eggs.

Ants eggs?

Oh, I often throw in a beetle or two...

for hors d'oeuvre so to speak...

oh, not for me. For them.

Look at them... the little dears.

Shouldn't they have some water?

They hardly ever drink.

No, I mean to swim in.

Lizards rarely swim Miss King, they bask.

- Oh I see. - Bask.

Lizards.

I mean I don't see. Where are they?

Oh, they're in there somewhere.

Cunning little beggars. They will hide away.

But they are in there somewhere.

Are you sure?

Well of course I'm...

Popsy... Alfred... Sydney.

What's this?

Ah, you may well ask.

- I am. - Eh?

- Asking. - Roman numerals.

I can see that.

We found a copy in the sole of each man's shoes.

Rostov, Lubin and Ezdorf.

Yes, it's obviously in code.

But we've never been able to break it.

X... X... V... Twenty-five.

Page twenty-five.

Bryant's Natural History Magazine.

Cedric Bryant here.

Hello. I... I'd like to get hold of a back copy of your magazine.

Oh... which issue do you want?

Oh the special reptile issue.

Oh... there's no problem there, we've several copies left.

I'm sure I can find you one. Ah! Yes!

Mr. Bryant!

I'll take that.

Certainly.

Lubin went straight through the window and disappeared.

With the remaining copy.

Ah, no. Lubin went, but the only remaining copy...

stayed.

Page twenty-five.

Lizards and their habits!?

I read it... it's really rather intimate.

Disgusting habits.

Awful and very crafty.

Lizards.

Magnus Importing Company.

- Oh dear. - Yes?

Well after Lubin fell there was a van,

and along side of it was written Mag...

- Magnus Importing Company. - Yes.

I'll pay them a visit.

You get back to your lizards and their

disgusting habits.

What?

With Peters. That article might be a code.

I'm looking for a Mr. Magnus.

You've found him.

Ah! Vodka!

Vodka?

To be more precise... Lizard Vodka...

I hear it's excellent.

I thought I'd... a... order a crate or two.

- Impossible. - Impossible?

We don't stock that line any longer.

Oh dear dear dear dear dear.

You mean to say you

haven't got just one bottle somewhere?

Not even

one bottle.

I see... well, if you do get another consignment...

We don't.

We... a... have finished with Lizard Vodka.

Didn't take, eh?

Ah well, I'm very sorry to have bothered you.

You've checked it?

With my usual thoroughness.

It's delicious. a triffle on the dry side, but plenty of bite.

- Smooth. - Oh... especially smooth.

Good. Let's hope Ezdorf offers me a drop.

Edwards.

Beware. Steed bearing gifts.

Not a gift exactly. You ordered it.

You did order it.

Yes, yes, I did.

It's a brand I don't know.

So you'd like to try it?

With pleasure.

The secret's in here.

The secret of your character.

Always judge a man by his books.

Yes, he's right. It's smooth.

Smooth. But I expect Colonel James found it a triffle on the dry side.

Yes.

I must say, I expected the books on mechanics and geography,

but this surprises me... Natural History.

When a man has nothing to do... well... anything.

Yes, but toads and lizards... I wouldn't have thought

that lizards were quite your line, Ezdorf.

You're getting close Steed,

very close. But you will never be close enough.

Perhaps the answer

is in here...

perhaps.

Take it,

study it, draw and quarter it.

You will never find the answer.

If the answer is in there to be found. Ah...

I do admire you.

Incisive, thorough, relentless.

A worthy adversary.

Equally matched.

We are very alike you and I.

- Identical. - No.

Where's the difference?

We are both dedicated to our country.

We are both prepared to die for it. You have killed...

I have killed.

There is a difference.

I kill when I have to.

You, because you like it.

How am I going to escape Steed?

How... How did Rostov and Lubin escape?

Look... will I compress myself into the shape of an arrow and...

a... fire myself through the bars.

Or maybe I'll filter my way through a crack in the wall.

Or convert myself into liquid

and pour myself

under the door.

You can't stop me Steed.

You won't.

And then... when I'm free,

we will face each other you and I...

there will be you...

and there will be me,

and smuggling in my hand

will be a well oiled Beretta.

I prefer a Smith and Wesson Magnum myself.

I'll remember that.

What's this?

It's a book. All about lizards.

How very king of you Miss King. Most thoughtful...

But why should lizards interest Rostov and Lubin?

I can't imagine.

Except of course they do make the most delightful pets.

Like this one, Alfred.

Isn't he a dear?

Chameleon. Charming little things,

and one never tires of them because they're forever

changing colour.

All chameleons do of course.

It's something to do with the chromaphores in the skin.

They merge with the background,

see what I mean.

Natures camouflage.

Astonishing, isn't it?

You's never know he was there.

I've just checked him.

check again...

keep him on his toes.

Give me the Colonel.

Baxter!

It's Ezdorf Sir. I can't see him.

Can't see him anywhere.

Should I look inside sir?

No, hold on... I'm coming.

Johnson... here.

Right man, stand by.

Take a look sir.

All right Edwards, open up.

- Password sir. - Damson.

Johnson... Williams...

Baxter, you come with me.

You come with me...

you two stay here.

Hold your fire.

Wireless.

Edwards sound the alarm... the alarm!

Out, clear, free.

Magnus, how is it done?

How is it done?

The same principle as the chameleon.

Are that humble animal.

We've taken it further that's all.

A pigmented plastoid.

More concentrated and spontaneous than the cells of that

humble but remarkable little lizard. You just pour it on and

one assumes the texture and colour of the background.

Uhummm.

The perfect camouflage.

- And now... - Your own gun.

A Beretta.

I would prefer a Smith and Wesson.

- But you always... - A Smith and Wesson.

Magnum.

- But... - It's a joke.

A private joke.

Hello.

Hello, is Steed there?

He doesn't seem to be.

Well you'd better try and find him...

warn him that Ezdorf is out.

Out?

Out, escaped, gone.

And he's going to kill Steed.

Steed. Steed. Steed.

He's not here yet then?

Never mind. I can wait.

I already have. A long time.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Forgive me... It's a sudden amusing thought.

You wouldn't understand.

Try me.

It's like a riddle.

I was trained never to turn my back on an enemy.

Because to turn my back put me at my most vulnerable.

But... If I turn my back

now... I am at my most invulnerable.

Ha! Ha!

I said you wouldn't understand.

Oh, but I do.

Oh come now.

Like a chameleon. Merging with the background.

The nth degree in camouflage.

I am impressed.

It must be only the back of you that's treated with...

whatever it is.

Very impressed.

Steed's taste obviously extends beyond the more

bourgeois trappings of life...

and brains too.

Up.

Come here.

Closer.

Steed. Oh!

- Urgghh. - All right Steed,

it is you or this charming creature.

Show yourself. This is your last chance.

Come out Steed, I'm going to count...

One...

Ooh!!

Ahhh!

It seems I appeared in the nick of time.

I preferred you in Pine.

And Ezdorf certainly locked...

Must be around here somewhere.

Ah!

Glad to see you back.

Hi there.

Come on in.

How d'you like my new outfit?

Stunning.

Do you really think so?

I said so.

I bought it specially for...

Steed...

Where are you?

Here.

Where?

Cooking?

No...

Ooh I know...

you're camouflaged...

as a pillar...

no...

chest...

wall...

as a bookcase.

Now Steed,

if you don't come out,

I won't give you your present.

I'm here.

I've got a leak in my tuba.

Where?

Here.