All language subtitles for Game.On.2018.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

(tense ambient music)

Downloaded from
YTS.MX

- [Narrator] Long ago
in 2015, three assholes,

Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

I mean, three great heroes,

fought bravely to avoid all
forms of adult responsibility.

Little did they know that
their destiny was at hand.

Anyway...

(tense energetic music)

(tense energetic
music continues)

♪ Every day, Mary Jane
and I go for a walk ♪

♪ She's a pretty little thing

♪ Lots of people
talk about her ♪

♪ I'm so glad I found her

♪ And I love the way
she makes me feel ♪

♪ She's been with
me all these years ♪

♪ And I know this love is real

♪ She keeps me high as a
kite and I feel so right ♪

♪ Every day and
night she's with me ♪

♪ I got joy in my soul

♪ Baby, let's roll and
keep it it extra crispy ♪

♪ I'm high as a kite
and it feels so right ♪

♪ Every day and
night she's with me ♪

♪ I've got joy in my soul

♪ Baby, let's roll and
keep it extra nipped ♪

♪ Because I'm high
as fuck yep, yep ♪

♪ I'm high as fuck yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck

♪ You can bet I'm high as fuck

♪ Mary Jane she lifts me up

♪ I'm high as fuck but
wide awake and aware ♪

♪ I'm Sticky Muck, you can't
imitate, or fake, or compare ♪

♪ We can share this
love for lady Mary ♪

♪ And she's a very
aromatic flower ♪

♪ Sweeter than a Crunch Berry

♪ And I'm high as a kite

♪ Feels so right every day
and night she's with me ♪

♪ I got joy in my soul

♪ Baby, let's roll and
keep it extra crispy ♪

♪ I'm high as a kite
and it feels so right ♪

♪ Every day and
night she's with me ♪

♪ I got joy in my soul

♪ Baby, let's roll and
keep it extra nipped ♪

♪ Because I'm high
as fuck, yep, yep ♪

♪ I'm high as fuck, yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck, yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck, yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck, yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck

♪ You can bet I'm high as fuck

♪ Mary Jane, she lifts me up

♪ We're up talking and smoking

♪ Up all the spliffs
around the nation ♪

♪ She's a medical miracle
miracle inspiration ♪

♪ I could write a
whole dang album ♪

♪ About this magical creation

♪ I keep a big smile
plastered on my face ♪

♪ Because I'm high as a
kite and it feels so right ♪

♪ Every day and
night she's with me ♪

♪ I've got joy in my soul

♪ Baby, let's roll and
keep it extra crispy ♪

♪ I'm high as a kite
and it feels so right ♪

♪ Every day and
night she's with me ♪

♪ I've got joy in my soul

♪ Baby, let's roll and
keep it extra nipped ♪

♪ Because I'm high
as fuck yep, yep ♪

♪ I'm high as fuck yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck yep, yep

♪ You can bet I'm high as fuck

♪ Mary Jane, she lifts me up

♪ I'm high as fuck yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck

♪ You can bet I'm high as fuck

♪ Mary Jane she lifts me up

- See, Mac? This is how you
be a functioning stoner.

(lighter flicking)

(Mac groans)

(laughs) Store opens at 12:00.

Party starts at 10:00.
- Mm.

(Regina scoffs)

(bright whimsical music)

- Did you know that they're
combining the Julius Caesar

and the Sherman Walker to
make, life, a super weed?

Trichomes on Trichomes
on Trichomes, bro.

- No, I didn't.

Did you know that they're
already secretly working

on the PS5 and it's
gonna be silver?

They'll probably call
the new Xbox, the Xbox 2.

- That's garbage. They're
just trying to sell magazines.

That's the PS4 Shop
Silver and the Xbox 2?

How could they
possibly call it that?

It's not the second Xbox
console to come out.

- Well, didn't stop 'em from
naming the third Xbox 1, so...

- Plus we all know that
they're not coming out

with another gen for,
like, five years.

But this? Now,
this is brilliant.

We might never have to
smoke skank weed again.

- Keep dreaming, Warren.
That's for the growers.

- Whatever. More
super weed for me.

- You greedy bastard.
- Whatever.

You're gonna be smoking nothing,

and I'm gonna be super
high on super weed

and I'm gonna be like,
"Look at me, I smoke-"

- So did you guys open the
store today on time or...

(bright upbeat music)

(bong water bubbling)

(Mac grunting)

- Not only did we open on
time, we showed up early.

- [Warren] Early.

- I find that hard to believe.

But considering this
place is deserted

and we still have
some party prep to do-

- Two hour work day. Score.

- All right.

- Only because it
is my birthday.

- It's your birthday?

- Speaking of which, did
you guys get Solo cups?

- Oh, about that.

- It's all coming back to me.

- [Regina] Right.
- We forgot.

- Figures I'd have to do all
the work for my own party.

- I thought this was
a Halloween party.

(bright whimsical music)

How come I spent
the last two weeks

making a costume if it isn't?

- How many times do we
have to go over this?

Thanksgiving was three days
ago. This is my costume party.

- Thanksgiving was
three days ago?

- This is exactly how
we missed Halloween.

And probably why I
won't get any presents

from you jerks until next month.

- You're lucky if
you get any presents

with that attitude, honey.

- Hey.

I am officially in my late 20s.

I deserve presents for
making it this long.

- You look as young
as the damage.

- Bullshit.
- Come on.

I'll get the cups and we can
start pre-cleaning early.

- Sweet.

- [Regina] (sighs) Why
is that always like that?

- Oh, this? Here
you go, my lady.

A raven for your grace.

- When are you gonna open this?

- What? I already told you.

Anything with my dad's
handwriting is not good news.

- Warren, are you scared
of the big bad papa bear?

Come on now. You're an adult.

- How dare you.

- We're not adults,
Reg. We're children.

Children in adult bodies.
- Yeah.

Don't judge our
trans age lifestyle.

- Whatever. Come on, guys.

(bright whimsical music)

(crowd chattering)

- So then I was thinking I
could just break up with her

for four weeks, beat the game
and then get back together.

- That's-
- Repulsive.

(bright whimsical
music continues)

(party-goer gasps)
(glass crashes)

- No! The bong bong ends!

- That hurts!
- That's what you get

for coming into my house
and breaking my shit.

Go away and never come
back. You shall not pass.

- You people are crazy.

- Oh, you haven't seen crazy.

I'm gonna ruin you
like the end of Loth.

- I'm just gonna go
through the back here.

- Yeah, I think
that's a good idea.

- What?

- Well, I see nothing's changed.

- Oh, my God, Ava.

(bright percussive music)

What are you doing here?

- You didn't think I'd miss
your birthday, did you?

(bright energetic music)
(crowd chattering)

- They better not
have broken something.

(bright energetic
music continues)

(game console clicking)

- Whoa. He's a guitar god.

- Well, who wants
to pour me a drink?

- Come on! Nice!

(tense booming music)

- Thank you.

- That was a pretty
impressive run.

- I am always impressive.

- So uh, who do you
know at the party?

- Oh, I was invited by, uh...

I was actually
invited by a customer.

- Oh, you work at
GameStop, right?

What was your name?
- Roger. At your service.

And uh, my boy tells me
you, you work at Game On.

- Nice to meet you. I'm
Regina and I run Game On.

It's kind of, like,
a anime web cafe.

- Oh, no, I know.
I've been in there.

And you know what, man?
It's a fucking good idea.

But-
- But what?

- But do you mind if I'm
totally honest with you?

- Yeah.
- I mean,

I love going in there.

I love picking up the
SNES game controller

and I love that you gave
us nerds someplace to go,

but your customer service
is fucking horrible.

- What? I have excellent
customer service.

- Yeah, maybe you do.

But those two guys over there.

- Take it to the
dome go or go home.

You got this, bro. Ah, ah, ah.

- Absolutely
butchering this fucker.

- Well, we are going through

some major changes.
- That's good.

- Better management.
- Awesome.

- Uh, restocking
on the essentials

and better customer service.

Of course.
- Excellent.

- Like, Game On the
way it should be,

not how it has become.

- That's great. And man,
I'm definitely coming back.

(bright energetic music)
(crowd chattering)

- Cordelle.
- Hey, Reg.

(bright percussive music)

- Hey, dude, what are you
supposed to be? Indiana Jones?

- I'm a slave master obviously.

Go, get me a beer, (indistinct).

- I have no idea how
to respond to that.

- Just in time Coredealer.
We're about to blaze a fatty.

- I guess my weed
senses were tingling.

- Did somebody say weed?

(bright percussive music)

- Ooh, Weston, you made it.

I didn't think you were gonna.

- Didn't you hear that
this was a costume party?

- This is my costume.
I'm a straight guy.

Hoo.
- Hoo.

- I don't get it.

- Oh, that's okay, honey.
At least you're pretty.

(bright whimsical music)

- Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you the Millennium blunt.

(group exclaiming)

- Wow, you guys are
still doing this?

- What the hell is
a Millennium blunt?

- It's the culmination of
years of epic stoner boredom

and ingenuity.

Okay, to make a
Millennium blunt,

you first need 10
century blunts.

And to make a century blunt,
you need 10 generation blunts.

Do you get it?

- [Group] No.
- To make a generation blunt,

you take 10 roaches
from 10 regular blunts

and put them together
to make one generation.

And then you smoke a generation.

Once you do that 10 times over,

you take your 10
generation roaches

and put them together
to make a century blunt.

And then you do that 10
times over and viola.

You have a Millennium blunt.

- And since each blunt
has, like, 10 to $20 worth

of weed in it, it's
basically a $10,000 blunt.

- I can't believe you
thought of this shit.

- You gonna smoke it or not?

♪ I just want to
chill for the night ♪

♪ I just want to
take shots, girl ♪

♪ I just wanna fuck with
the people that fuck ♪

♪ With the people
that fuck with us ♪

♪ 'Cause I just want
to do whatever ♪

♪ I just want to live my life

♪ I just want to
live this lifestyle ♪

♪ 'Cause you don't
live it twice ♪

♪ I just want to
live for the night ♪

♪ I just want to
take shots, girl ♪

♪ I just wanna fuck with
the people that fuck ♪

♪ With the people
that fuck with us ♪

♪ 'Cause I just want
to do whatever ♪

♪ I just want live my life

♪ I just want to
live this lifestyle ♪

♪ 'Cause you don't
live it twice ♪

♪ Live it twice
♪ I just want to

♪ Make a few statements

♪ Ain't got time
for the fakeness ♪

♪ All I want to do is
blow marijuana smoke ♪

♪ 28 grams of the greatness

♪ I should be a pilot,
I'm already high ♪

♪ To fly like a plane
in the sky, man ♪

♪ I'm a captivate this moment

♪ Increase your
liquor consumption ♪

♪ You have the
time of your life ♪

♪ You have the
time of your life ♪

♪ And when the morning
come you get the hang up ♪

- No!

(bright whimsical music)
(Darth Vader moaning)

(birds singing)

(Mac groaning)

(bottles clinking)

(bright whimsical music)

(bottles clinking)

(door banging)

- Ow!

(bright whimsical
music continues)

(knife clattering)

Hello, beautiful.

Victory.

(bottles clinking)

- Hey, guys, I'm gonna
go open up the store.

- Why are we working today?
It doesn't make any sense.

- It makes perfect sense.

If the store doesn't make enough

to at least cover our salaries,

how are you gonna pay for
all that weed that you smoke,

let alone rent?

- Rent?

- I am not doing this alone.
You have one hour to show up.

No more than an hour.
Clean this shit up.

- Yeah, yeah, I hear
you. Bye, miss manager.

You want to get high?

(Warren coughing)

- Dude, kids come in here.

- Seriously? This is not a
healthy environment for kids.

Somebody should
tell their parents.

- Years of friendship
and you are still

the worst gamer I know.

- Just because I've
watched you play every game

under the sun does not mean I
know which combo shoots fire.

- Mac, uh, there's a
few things for you.

And Warren-

- Since when do
women come in here?

- She's here every Sunday,
and you say that every Sunday.

- I have no memory of this.

(Regina coughing)

- You hear that? That's
your brain gasping for air.

(bright whimsical music)

- [Mac] Oh, shit.
It's Papa Warren.

- Hello, Warren.

- Hey, Dad.

(gentle suspenseful music)

- I take it you did
not read my letter.

- It's the 21st century,
Dad. You could call.

- I did call. Several
times, in fact.

You didn't answer.
- I've been busy.

The store doesn't
run itself, you know?

- Mac.
- Sup, G Money?

It's been a while.

- Ah, yes, it has.

Warren just finished telling
me how busy you've all been.

- Uh, yeah.

Super busy.
- Regina?

- Well, well, we just finished
redesigning the game room

and I've been picking
up classes, so-

- Regina, I've always
known that you would grow

into a respectable woman.

- [Regina] Thanks.
- My son, however,

has not lived up
to my expectations.

- Gee, Dad, love you too.

- (munching) Hey, what about me?

Uh, nevermind.

- I'm afraid I have some
news that may disappoint you.

Three weeks ago I received
notice that the owner

of this retail space
has passed away.

- Old Mrs. Washington?

- Man, she made
the best cookies.

- Yes, well, her family has
decided to sell the space.

- Sell it? To who?

- I understand there
is no buyer as of yet.

- Great. So you
can snag it, right?

How much do they want for it?

- No, I cannot snag it.
Or rather I will not.

- What?

- When I gave you
this store, Warren,

instead of sending
you to school,

I expected you to make
something of yourself.

Instead, you have made
exactly zero effort

to see the Game
On brand flourish,

much less create the
successful franchise.

- So you're punishing me

because I didn't start a
gaming store franchise?

- This is not a punishment.

This is an opportunity.

It's time for you to grow up.

All three of you.

Yes, even you, Regina.

Gaming is not a career.

It is a hobby and a
questionable hobby at that.

- That's not true.
- Warren-

- Listen, Dad, everyone games.

- He's right-
- I did not come here

to debate the values
of video games.

I came to tell you that Game On

is closing at the
end of the month.

- You can't be serious.

- Honestly, Warren, how
long did you expect me

to support a business that
has never once earned enough

to cover its own monthly bills?

- What do you expect us to
do? Game On is our life.

- I suggest you start
looking for real jobs.

- Real jobs? What's real jobs?

- I expect nothing but great
things from each of you.

Excuse me.

- Mr. Bailey?
- Yes.

- How much do they want
for it? For the store?

- I believe they're
asking for a $70,000 down.

- 70,000?

- You're capable
of so much more.

- [Narrator] Game over.

- God. This is depressing.

- I know.

Oh, wait, Nintendo's hiring.

- What?

- I've always wanted-
- Hold your horses.

- To be a game tester.
- Hold your horses, guys.

Okay, seeking self-starters

for entry level position in
the corporate call center.

Ooh. Ooh.

- What's- what's a call center?

- Enjoy helping people, wanna
be the definitive source

of information for US
and Canadian customers

for Nintendo game system setup,

operations and troubleshooting,

product promotions and other
general product information.

- Uh, I don't even know how
to answer those questions.

- Call center representative
job duties include

but are not limited
to fulfills requests

by clarifying
desired information,

completes transaction
and forwards requests,

maintains call center database
by entering information.

Position is full-time,
40 hours a week,

10:00 to 6:00 Monday
through Friday.

- I can't work a regular
schedule. I'm a free spirit.

You can't make me march to
the beat of a corporate drum.

- We couldn't make
you march to the beat

of anything, you lazy ass.

- Just 'cause my dad's all
laissez-faire about Game On

doesn't mean we have to be.

- I'm shocked you know
what that word means.

- I'm serious, Reg.

So my dad won't bankroll
the store anymore.

It doesn't mean we have to
close. I mean, look at us.

Who knows what would
happen if they tried

to put a tie on Mac.

- I'll tell you
what would happen.

The time space continuum
would collapse.

This isn't just about us, Reg.

It's about the future
of the universe.

- The universe.

- You know what?

If, if we get a loan,

or maybe some investors
to buy the store,

we could probably keep the
store running ourselves.

But that's if we work
harder than we have been.

- See, this is why we need you.

Strategy. Ha-ha-haw.

- I thought you needed
me because otherwise

you would starve in filth.

- Well, yeah.
- Same thing.

So where do we begin?

- Well, I guess we, I guess
we need to start at the bank.

I'll call and make
an appointment.

But guys, if we do this,

I need you to take it seriously.

- Seriously?

Reg, we...

Weed. Weed me.

We are the epitome of serious.

- Mac, that's not how you say...

- Man.
- Huh?

- Oh, well.

- I just got the
munchies for some pie.

- Oh, my God.

- Hey, Reg.

Free cookies at the gas
station around the corner.

- This is your idea
of dressing up?

A blazer over that shirt.

- My dad taught me that
being assertive is key

to doing great business.

- There's being assertive,
and then there's being a dick.

- Not in business.

- Are you high?

Oh, my God. You're high.

- And you're not?

- Of course not.

- Some stoner you are.

- All right...

We are about to apply
for a loan at a bank.

A real bank with real
people who have real jobs

who don't wanna give
money to dumbass potheads

who can't even-
- Whoa.

- Know what they're
talking about.

- Chill out?
- Chill out?

- Hey, it's cool. We're cool.

We do everything
stoned. Remember?

Here, have some cookie.

- You should leave.
I can do this myself.

- Hell no, dude. Game
On belongs to all of us.

We do this together.

- It won't belong to any of us

if you two don't start
using your brains

for something more than scoring
weed and playing "Destiny."

- Regina, we're coming with you.

Mac is right. We can do this.

- Do not eat that.

- [Warren] What?
- Okay, fine.

Turn your shirt inside
out or something

and try not to get
too close to anyone.

You reek.

And do not speak.

- Right.

(words muffling)

- Not a word.

(door creaking)
(birds singing)

(clock ticking)

- And how old are
the three of you?

- What does that
have to do with it?

- Oh, I'm 26, Mac is
24 and Warren is 25.

And we've been running Game
On for over four years now.

- And any of you own a home?

- (laughs) Sorry.

- Uh, no, ma'am.

We rent, but-

- Are any of you married
to someone who owns a home?

- Married?
- No.

We're all single, but we are-

- Vehicles.

- I'm sorry?

- Do any of you
own any vehicles?

Do you own any property of any
kind that you're gonna put up

as collateral for
this sizable loan?

- We have gaming consoles.

- (laughs) Excuse me?

- Eight generations
of gaming consoles

plus, like, 1,000 games.

- You cannot be serious.

- I assure you, ma'am,
we're very serious.

- Young lady, this is a bank,
not your father's home office.

- Oh, yeah? Well, it turns
out my father's dead.

- Her father's dead?

- No, moron. He's in Ohio.

- The fact remains,
this establishment

does not hand out
favors or grant wishes.

- We're not asking for a
favor. We came fully prepared.

- We deal with
serious clients only,

not college dropouts
playing dress up.

- We're totally serious.

- But we're also dropouts.

- Not Regina though. She got
a degree in, like, two years.

- You have no assets,
you have no co-signers,

no business plan, nothing
whatsoever that qualifies you

for a $70 loan,

let alone 70,000.

In short, you have no
idea what you're doing.

- (scoffs) Wow. You're
kind of a bitch, huh?

- Truth.

- Furthermore, these
two are clearly high.

- Shit.
- Hmm.

- I suppose next you'll
tell me you have a stash

of marijuana you wanna
put up as collateral.

- No way, lady. You'll
never get our weed.

- Mm-mm.
- This is a farce.

I believe we're done here.

- You know what? I
think you're right.

Oh, wait. Let me
tell you something.

One day you will regret
treating us like this.

And one day when there is
a Game On on every corner,

you'll remember us.

You'll realize
that you missed out

on a chance for greatness.

And that's because you'll lack

the most important
quality of them all.

Imagination, vision.
You know what?

If Zuckerberg had come to you,
there would be no Facebook.

If Jobs had come to you,
there would be no Apple.

- Here, here.
- Damn straight.

- You know what?
We don't need you.

- [Warren] Mm-mm.

- We will raise that
$70,000 ourselves

and you, you nameless
corporate drone,

you can suck a cunt.
- Woo. Ooh.

(paper tearing)

(door slams)

Holy shit.

Can't believe you
told her to suck a-

- Reg. Regina, are you okay?

- Can you believe her?

- She's just an old woman.

- No, I will be
god damned if I let

that woman make me
feel like a loser.

You know what?

We will raise the money
and we will buy the store

and we'll conquer the known
universe and nobody can stop us.

You know what?

Let's go buy some
fucking weed, guys,

and then we'll kill
all the zombies.

And then maybe when we're done,

the aliens can get theirs too.

(Warren imitating gun shots)

(gunshots booming)
(electricity zapping)

- Reg, my best customer.

- (laughs) Actually, these
are your best customers.

I'm just your friend.
- True that.

So what's up, guys? Nice
to see you outta your cave.

- What's up?
- Thanks, bro.

- What's up, man?

(hands clapping)

Who's that guy?

- Any of you guys want a dab?

- What's a dab?
- What's a dab?

- What's a dab?

(bright energetic music)

- So we've got our rig,
our dabber carb cap,

got our torch, and we
have our concentrates.

These concentrates were
made using a solvent,

butane in particular,
concentrated cannabinoids,

terpenes, and terpenoids.

When you concentrate the flower,

you're not only
concentrating the potency,

but you're also concentrating
the aromas, the terpenes,

the terpenoids that give
you the, the whole essence

and flavor of smoking
in the first place.

(bright upbeat music)

It'll get you super high.

Pull ourselves off a
fresh piece of the slab.

(torch hissing)

We're gonna wait until it
starts to go a little bit red

and we're gonna stop.

We're gonna wait
for it to cool down.

So I'm gonna throw this hash oil

and wand it over the hot nail,

not combusting it,
but vaporizing it.

(water bubbling)

(smoke hissing)

And that is a dab.
- What just happened?

- What's wrong?

- [Warren] We've had a bad day.

- A terrible day.

Like, we need to raise
money to keep Game On open

and basically just had
a bank manager tell us

to go fuck ourselves.

- You guys closing down?

- [Warren] Not if
we can help it.

- You know, I don't get it.

First they say,
"Oh, you're adults.

You should be adults
and do adult shit."

And then when we try to
be adults, they're like,

"Oh, look at the silly kids
trying to be adults." (laughs)

Seriously, what the hell?

- I feel you. But it's
still puff, puff pass.

- Those are the cutest
things I've ever seen.

- Thanks, girl.

So if the shop shuts down,
does that mean there's gonna be

no more Japanese
Dating Sim bootlegs?

- That's the long
and short of it.

- You know, I've been thinking

about branching
outta the weed game.

You know, people kind
of look down on you

when you use drug money

for your sister's after
school activities.

- Well, what do you think

about going into
the gaming business?

- Regina, you read my mind.

(bright percussive music)

(crowd chattering)

- So this is real. You're gonna
go into business yourself.

That's-
- Just fine.

- I thought you were
gonna be excited.

Warren must be thrilled
now he can continue wearing

the same shirt three
days at a time.

- Just, (sighs)

I mean, I am excited.

I just, I don't know,
it just feels...

What if this isn't
what I want to do?

- What, you don't
wanna smoke weed

and play video games anymore?

- I just soloed a six man raid,

hold the cheese,
thanks to marijuana.

Can't lose momentum now.

- Well, then, what do you want?

- To be more like you.
- Me? (scoffs)

Why do you wanna be like me?

- You're so glamorous.

You have a real job
and a real career.

- Not exactly.

- You're really doing
something with your life.

You're living the dream.

- Living the dream? No way.

You are living the dream.
You're gonna be your own boss.

Work with your best friends.
Start your own business.

- That sounds great on paper,

but this is Mac and Warren
we're talking about.

Not ideal business partners.

- They might not be
ideal business partners,

but they believe in what you're
doing and that means a lot.

- I guess.

(crowd chattering)

Enough about me. Tell
me about New York.

- What do you wanna know?
- Everything.

- Okay, well, the subway
doesn't smell as bad

as most people say,
but it's loud, 24/7.

Everyone walks
superhumanly fast.

Even though the pizza's better,
no sandwich place tops MSM.

Also, there's no Safeway.

- No.

Where do they shop?

(bright percussive music)

12 grand investment gets you
unlimited redecoration rates.

- Sweet.
- Oh, shit.

What?
- Nothing.

- Yeah, nothing.

- Okay. Somebody needs
to lay off the drugs.

(door opens)

Hey, guys, I have an idea.

- Holy shit (indistinct). How
do you walk in those things?

- What? Oh, it's
a job requirement.

- You look great as usual.

- Thanks.

Listen, I have an idea to
bring in more customers and-

- More customers?

Then we might have to-
- Work?

You might have to work, right?

Customers equal money, Mac.

- Whoa.

- I think you need a citywide
targeted marketing campaign

to increase your
visibility to local gamers

and comic book enthusiasts.

- Whew, you just said,
like, three words

that mean absolutely nothing.

- You're missing out
on a ton of revenue

just sitting right
outside the door.

- The only thing I've seen
outside that door is Hobo Bill.

- Shut up.

- You can make a big splash
with a radio promo on 106.1.

- Hell yeah, that's a
great idea actually.

- Then I suggest
going ground level,

getting out on the street,

passing out flyers,
stickers, pins.

- You're in the zone
right now, aren't you?

How do you know this stuff?

- That's why I
moved to New York.

Remember?
- No.

- Publicity,
marketing, advertising.

You can have the best
product in the world,

but if no one knows
about it, you're screwed.

- You are an assistant.
- Yeah.

- Ow.

(bright whimsical music)

- Ooh, killer.
- Serial.

- Cordelle my, man.

I didn't know you had
these hidden depths.

- Been telling you bastard,
slinging weed is just a day job.

- Let's print like,
what, 200 of these?

- [Warren] Yeah.

- Okay, Mac, Warren,
you are now officially

the heads of our street team.

I know. It's a lot
of responsibility.

- We're not morons, Regina.

We can handle passing
out a few flyers.

- Uh-huh, okay, well, then I'm
gonna go see how Ava is doing

with the radio station.

You two, I want all 200
flyers out of your hands

by five o'clock.

It is time to kick ass.

- Ma'am, yes, ma'am.

- Dismissed.

- We got this, bro.
- We've had this.

(bright whimsical music)

- (laughs) Bro, that's not fair.

You can't keep punching
me into the water.

If edge guardings
illegal in Smash Bros,

it should be in "BattleBlock."

- Excuses.
- You're excuses.

- No, you're a towel.

- Aren't we supposed
to be doing something?

- Yeah, I'm supposed to
be dominating this game.

You're supposed to be
getting your ass kicked.

- Nah, that's not it.

(Warren chuckling)

Damn it.
- Told you, dude.

- Seriously though,
Regina said a thing

about a thing we're
supposed to...

- Oh, shit, you're right.

We were supposed to pass out-

- Wait.
- But she-

- Wait.
- What, dude?

- I think, I think
I have an idea.

- Wow. Really?

- I think I have a
really good idea.

You remember that ad off of I-5?

The billboard, the underwear ad

that's been up
since, like, 1997?

- Yeah. What about her?

- We should make our
own ad for Game On.

- Dude.

- It's the perfect location.
No one is using it.

- Dude.

That's, like, the best
idea you've ever had.

- Right?

- Rogue advertisement is
so vogue. Let's do it.

(bright whimsical
music continues)

Excuse me, sir,
would you like to...

(traffic bustling)

- [Mac] Okay. This is hard.

- Yeah, like, really hard.

- Excuse me, miss,
would you be interested?

Everyone hates us.

- We're in hell.

- Seriously. How long
have we been out here?

This is eating into
my "Catherine" time.

- Uh, half hour.

- I need to smoke.

- No kidding. Let's
ditch this shit.

(cell phone vibrating)

- Whoa. It's like she knows.

- Yes, Overlord Holloway.

- [Regina] Ava got
us the radio spot.

- Wow, really? That was fast.

- [Regina] I know.
She's amazing.

How are you doing
with the flyers?

Warren?
- Uh...

- [Regina] That bad?
We can send Ava too.

- No, no, we can do this.

We just need to find our
angle. I'll call you back.

- Well, what'd she say?

- Mac, man, we cannot let Ava
make us look like assholes.

- I don't know if she's the one.

- We just need to get these
flyers into the right hands.

Let's think.

(bright percussive music)

(light bulb dings)

I got it. Let's do home
deliveries like the newspaper.

We can use our bikes.

- I have bikes.

(traffic bustling)

(train horn blowing)

(bright percussive music)

I think if nobody uses these
coupons, we'll be in trouble.

Ooh, 99 cent avocados.

Mind if we stop at
the store after?

- Whatever. Look.

This is the nerdiest
neighborhood in town.

We're bound to score some hits.

Let's get our A game
on and start throwing.

- Right.

All those years of
playing "Paperboy"

are finally gonna pay off.

- Yeah, I hope this works.

- Let's do it.

(bright energetic music)

(bright whimsical music)

(bright whimsical
music continues)

(game zapping)

- [Warren] Hey, what's up?
- Hey, guys.

Did you guys hand
out all the flyers?

- Yeah, you should
have seen us do it.

- Great. That's awesome.

- So you wanna...

- So Ava and I are
gonna go get some coffee

and write our radio
promo tonight.

- All right.

- Good job today, guys.
- Thanks.

But we're just, just listen.

- So I need-
- Can you wait?

- One of you to stay
here and watch the store

and one of you to
stop by the house

and pick up the Christmas lights

and tinsel to hang
in the window.

- But we just-
- Please, Warren,

this is really important.

- Obviously it's important.
- Great, thanks.

I'll see you later.

- The fuck are we?
Trained monkeys?

(bright percussive music)

- [Mac] Not gonna
lie. I will miss her.

- Yeah, but it's
for a good cause.

- Yeah, the Save Mac and Warren

from Regina's Wrath Movement.

- Yeah. You ready for this?

- Born ready, bro-heam.

- Lease me up.

Now that's a kickass ad.

- We're probably the
smartest people I know.

- To be fair, you don't
know that many people.

- Semantics.

- That's not what
that word means.

- Whatever.

- Didn't know you guys
were here until I saw this.

- Oh, yeah, we've been
here for five years now.

- Huh? Last time I looked
uh, this was a KFC.

- No, there hasn't been
a KFC for six years.

- Oh, do you do deliveries?

- Uh, no, not at this time.

- Okay, thanks.
- Thanks.

(bright whimsical music)

- So who's that?
- A new customer.

I mean, I'm not gonna
lie, I was pretty pissed

when I got here and
you two weren't here,

but we've already had
three new customers

come in with flyers.

- Cool.

- So you're saying
that we've contributed

to the success of this
fine establishment.

- Yeah, totally.

- Oh, so you're saying
we're responsible

for improving the
visibility of the store.

- [Regina] Yes, Mac.

- You are saying that we're
not completely useless

but actually very
intelligent and innovative,

and-
- Yes.

- Good looking.
- You are not completely,

totally waste of space.

Although I did notice
that you two forgot

to bring the Christmas lights.

- I told you to bring

the lights, bro-
- I told you

to bring the lights.
- I told you

to roll a blunt-
- You said you would

take a crap-
- And then I'd grab

the lights-
- And then I'd roll the blunt.

- Then you messed up.
- Hello, welcome to Game On.

What can I do for you?

♪ Well, I've got this
shit figured out ♪

♪ Time to go to work and
there ain't no doubt ♪

♪ Gotta get busy if
you want to survive ♪

♪ I'm a keep moving on,
just staying alive ♪

♪ Gotta live free and
I can't hold back ♪

♪ Gotta give me
more room to dance ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm here to dance
like nobody is watching ♪

♪ Time keeps marching and
you know it ain't stopping ♪

♪ Let's go to work

♪ Let's go to work

♪ Most people don't
like working very much ♪

♪ I hear 'em all the time
talking about this sucks ♪

♪ Well, I've got
an idea for you ♪

♪ Create a new job
that you love to do ♪

♪ Now it's going to take time

♪ It's going to take effort

♪ But every day together
life will get much better ♪

♪ Don't do it for $1
don't do it for a dime ♪

♪ Do it 'cause it's how
you wanna spend your time ♪

- Yes.
♪ If you stick

♪ To it every day, soon
you'll have a job ♪

♪ That makes you wanna
say, let's go to work ♪

♪ Let's go to work

♪ Let's go to work
- Ooh.

- [Announcer] Maximum point-
- Woo!

- Congratulations, you
are the 100th customer.

- Woo!

♪ 'Cause the kids ain't wrong

♪ I'm here to get stan
with my fan boy, man ♪

♪ Gonna be bangin' my
drum for many more moons ♪

♪ Baby, I'm your man

♪ I can do things
that no one can ♪

♪ Because I got a plan

♪ And it's coming to fruition

♪ I figured out my passion
and I made it my mission ♪

♪ And went to work

♪ I went to work

♪ Now let's go to work

♪ Now let's go to work

- Thanks for
shopping at Game On.

- Aren't you
forgetting something?

- I'm sorry?

- You know, a little green?

- What? I gave you your change.

- Yeah, I figured it was a
fake. Nice billboard, anyway.

- What are you talking about?

- Hey, Reg, uh, Ava's
looking for you.

She said it's important.

- Oh, okay.

(bright whimsical music)

- What's the word, Reg?
- Uh, let's see.

That's over $1,000 in profit
in the last four hours.

- Nice.

- If we keep going like this,

maybe just a few more investors,

we could probably buy the
store before Christmas.

- Oh, right on. Wonder
how Ava's doing?

She swore up and down
she'd close a deal

with that new
investor over dinner.

- Regina, Warren
said there's no way

Feminist Frequency girl's
gonna give us more videos.

- She asked for 150K. She
didn't need that much money.

- How many times do
I have to tell you,

Anita asked for 6K and got 150K.

She did exactly what
she said she would.

It's not her fault she got
more than she asked for.

- So not the point.

- I love watching
you two get schooled.

(door opens and shuts)

- Oh, hey, how'd it go?

- You mean the amazing
Ava didn't score us

an extra $6,000?

- Shut up, Warren.

- Yeah, not 6,000.

10.
- 10?

- No way. That means we're,
like, halfway to 70, right?

- Somebody's been practicing
with his flashcards.

- I guess the amazing Ava
pulled through after all.

- Show off.
- Jealous.

- Hella.
- Hey.

You guys have been doing
pretty good yourselves.

We'd never have been
able to pull off

the increase in
sales without you.

- Thanks, Reg.

- A compliment from you is
worth 1,000 achievements.

- It's amazing how
much we've achieved

in this short amount of time.

- Yeah, well, we
always had it in us.

We just didn't use it.

- You know what
this means, right?

- What?
- I know what this means.

- What?

- [Warren And Mac]
We have to celebrate.

- Celebrate? But we have
so much more work to do.

And it's late and I, trust
me, I have a lot of work-

- Come on, Regina. This
work thing's a bitch.

We haven't partied in,
like, two whole weeks.

- I don't know, I just
feel like there's a lot-

- But it is two for one
at the Half Pint tonight.

- And I could use a drink.

- But-
- Come on, Reg.

You deserve a break.

- But I really wanna
just start advertising-

- Regina, as your
unofficial GBF,

I hereby counsel
you to stop being

so goddamn responsible and
come have a drink with us.

(bright whimsical music)
(game consoles clicking)

- Jesus, guys. Okay, fine.

We'll celebrate.
But only one drink.

- Ah, that's my girl.

- You're buying, Warren.

- You're buying.
(Mac laughs)

(bright whimsical music)
(people chattering)

(bright energetic music)

(bright energetic
music continues)

(people chattering)

(glass crashing)
- Another.

- This isn't "Thor." I don't
wanna clean that shit up.

(bright energetic
music continues)

(people chattering)

- Okay, one more. Uno.

(drinks slamming)

(bright energetic
music continues)

(people chattering)

- But my boss, right? She's,
like, the Godzilla of bitches.

Except not in a good way

where she fights
off moth creatures,

but in the worst possible way

where she destroys your city

and kills off your favorite
meth cook and just-

- Ava, Ava, slow down.
You're gonna hurt yourself.

- Hola, guys. Another
brewski, por favor-ski.

- You know, beer makes you fat.

- No it doesn't.

Beer is actually low in
calories and makes you pee more,

thus burning more calories
than the beer actually has.

However, beer foam
is the real evil.

It gives you the munchies,

which makes you fat.

- Dude, how do you know that?

- "Catherine."
It's a video game.

You drink long enough at
the bar, you get drink facts

and I am full of them.

Muchos gracias, Senor.

(people chattering)

Holy shit. Look
at that. (coughs)

- So, like, earlier I noticed
you, like, looked cool.

(Regina burps)

- Do I look like
Hermione to you?

Don't pull that weasley
shit on me, Warren Bailey.

I know you.

- Yeah, you do.
- You know,

JK said she made a mistake
pairing her money with Ron.

- Hmm. I love it when you
talk pop culture to me.

(Regina and Warren giggling)

(people chattering and laughing)

(group shouting and laughing)

- Oops, forgot my jacket.

- Ava, all right, Ava.

- Woo. Whoa. (laughs)

- Come on. Come on.
- [Regina] Grab me!

♪ I'm sorry Miss Jackson

♪ Woo, but that weed is for me

♪ Never meant to smoke
you out that time ♪

♪ I apologize, but
that weed is mine ♪

♪ Woo

- Did you just grab my boobs?

- I did just grab your boobs.

What are you going do about it?

- I'm gonna get you.
- No, you're not.

- [Vendor] Would you
like to buy a flower?

(group stumbling and chattering)

- Get me from behind.
- Carry me.

(group giggling)

(Mac groaning)
(Regina cackles)

- Tickle, tickle.
Tickle, tickle. (laughs)

(lips smacking)
(Regina panting)

(Warren groaning)

- Why, body? Why?

What the...

Hello?

Where did my clothes go?

Did I get laid last night?

Hey.
(Regina groans)

Did we bone last night?

Hello?
(Regina groans)

- Warren, what are
you doing in my bed?

- Oh, my God.
- What?

- This is my bed.

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God. (laughs)

(Regina whimpering)

- Did we?

- My mind says no,
but my body says.

- (shrieks) Oh, my
God. Oh, my God.

- [Warren] Yes. Yes.
- Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- Regina,

you don't have to freak out.

These things happen.
- Oh, my God, oh, my God.

- All right?

- Warren, did we use a condom?

Warren, I cannot have
your silver baby.

I will die first. I
swear to God, Mac.

- Oh, my God.

- Mac, don't.

- Oh, my God, you
guys totally boned.

- No, we didn't.
- Yeah, we did.

- Warren. Fuck you, Mac.
(Mac laughs)

- No way.
- Yeah.

- Fuck you, Mac. Fuck you.

- Oh, my God. You guys are
gonna have the cutest babies.

- Mac, I swear to God,
I am this fucking close

of putting you and Warren
down the fucking staircase!

What the fuck do you want?

(door knocking)

This is not a good time.

- Uh, well, shit, good
morning to you too, Miss.

- Hello.

- Hmm, is your name uh,
R- Regina Holl- Holloway?

- Regina?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, that's me.

- Uh, apparently this
is for you. Goodbye.

- What the fuck, asshole?

- [Warren] What was that about?

- [Mac] Ooh, are those donuts?

- You, you...

- What, Reg? What happened?

- You absolute morons.
How stupid are you?

- Whoa. What did we do?

- What did you do? Unauthorized
billboard, free weed?

- Oh, the billboard.

- You put our address
on an illegal billboard.

- We didn't think it
was gonna be a big deal.

We're just trying to help.

- You put the name of our
business on an illegal billboard

advertising free drugs.

- Hey, weed isn't drugs.

- We just got served for $5,000.

- Shit, really?
- Yes, really.

- Regina, you need to calm down.

- Tell me to calm down
again. I dare you.

- Warren, back off, bro.

- Okay, we're sorry.

We didn't mean to ruin anything.

- You know what? You two are
always sorry about something.

And that's because you two

are sorry excuses
for human beings.

All you're good for is smoking
pot and playing video games.

- Hey, you smoke and game too.
This isn't even about that.

- No, no, I am not like you two.

I at least try to be an
adult. You two are pathetic.

If you didn't have Warren's
daddy to leach off of,

you wouldn't have shit.

- Hey, don't bring
him into this.

- Fuck you. Fuck you both.

How can I actually think that
you have become responsible?

You two are the
biggest disappointment
since "Crystal Skull"

and episodes one
through three combined.

- Harsh, Reg.

(Regina shuddering)

- You know, I don't
know how I thought

I could ever help
you two losers.

You're hopeless.

Thank God I am moving
to New York next month

and I will never have to deal
with your bullshit again.

(feet stomping)

- She's moving to New York?

- We're as bad as the prequels.

(Regina grunts and screams)

(frequency ascending)

- I am sorry, Reg. I
don't know what to say.

- You know, 12 days
ago I was thinking

we could actually do this.

Wow, we can actually
run our own business

and then this shit happens.

- Have you, I mean, do you
know if, with Warren...

- He texted me before
I left the house.

He found the condom
in the trash can.

- Oh, thank God.

- Little miracles, right?

I mean, they may be dumb enough
to post a giant illegal ad,

but at least one of them
can remember to wrap it.

(phone vibrating)

- So I think you
two are, I dunno-

- I told them I was
moving to New York.

- Whoa. Really?

- I mean, what am I
doing with my life here?

I wonder what my
parents would say,

or if Coach Taylor or my
dad, what he would say.

I'll bet he'd gimme
some great advice

in a form of an eloquent speech.

I think the only way I
could be happy right now

is if the doctor crashed
through the door and said,

"Quick, get in.

We have to save the universe."

(Regina meowing)

- What are you doing?

- Nothing is easy.

- Don't worry.
Everything will be fine.

You guys are gonna
get over this.

- [Regina] Why is
everything so hard?

- Stop. The doctor's not coming.

- [Regina] Don't say that.

- [Warren] I think this is
the first time ever in my life

that I don't feel like gaming.

- Yeah, same here.

Bro, what are we gonna
do without Regina?

- I don't wanna
think about Regina.

- Yeah, but-
- Hello?

Is anybody in there?

(door knocking)
(bright whimsical music)

What's going on? Why
is the store closed?

- Regina sort of...

Her and Warren...

There was a fight kind of.

- She bailed on us. Okay?

She lost her shit
and she bailed.

- What? That doesn't
sound like her.

What happened?

- Her and Warren boned
and then she found out

about our billboard and
then we got fined $5,000

and she got really pissed,

and I guess she's
moving to New York,

and I don't really know what do-

- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa. Slow down.

Warren and Regina did what?

- That's it. I'm out.

- Wait, where are you going?

- [Warren] I don't
know. Home, I guess.

Somewhere where I
don't have to think.

(door slams)

- Wow, if I'd known what
a few shots would do...

- It wasn't the booze.

Even if they hadn't
slept together,

she still would've found
out about the billboard.

- That was a pretty dumb idea.

- It seemed legit at the time.

I guess we didn't
really think about it.

- You realize that
just because Regina

doesn't wanna be involved,

doesn't mean you guys
can't pull this off.

$5,000 isn't a huge setback.

- Yeah, but Regina's,
like, the glue

that holds this
whole place together.

Not just the store, but us.

- [Announcer] Re-up time.
- She's our Zelda.

There's no Triforce without her.

- You know what, Mac?

You're smarter than everyone
gives you credit for.

- [Announcer] 10 points.
- I know.

Not smart enough to make
it in the real world.

You know what I realized?
- Hmm?

- I don't know how to
do anything but game.

Can't even grow a full beard.

- [Announcer] Yo, play the game.

- I can roll joints and blunts.

(video game chiming)

But that's it.
Those are my skills.

I can't even wash a car.

- This is just a bad day.

I'm not gonna jump ship
just because Regina

doesn't want to be captain.

I believe in Game On.

(video game chiming)

- You know, Cordelle,

you're the coolest gay
Black weed dealer I know.

- Thanks, Mac.

(video game chiming)

Now why don't you let
me open up the shop

while you go and help Warren
pull his head out of his ass.

- [Announcer] Go!

- All right.

It's up to me.
- Mm-hm.

- [Announcer] 10 point bonus.

- May the way of the hero
lead to the Triforce.

- (laughs) Right.
Go get 'em, tiger.

(video game chiming)

(characters chattering)

- Think I'm gonna need this.

- No! Mufasa. (sobbing)

(door knocking)

- Warren, can I come in?
- No, go away.

(lion growling)

- Are you watching
"The Lion King?"

- No. Go away.

Xbox off.
(lion roaring)

- Come on, dude.

You always watch "The Lion
King" when you're depressed.

- I'm not depressed.

- We need to talk about Regina.

- Fuck Regina.
- Didn't you already do that?

- (grunts) Ow.

- Sorry, dude. Bad joke.

Want some help?
- [Warren] No.

- Warren...

- Why is this happening?

Yesterday it was all
Game On forever. Hooray.

And now she's moving to
New York. What the hell?

- Well, we did go
behind her back

with the whole billboard thing.

- It's just $5,000. It's
not the end of the world.

- I don't think it's
about the money.

- It's always about the money.

- Whoa, Lucky Quinn,
this isn't "Watch Dogs."

This is Regina
we're talking about.

- Fine. If it's not about the
money, then what is it then?

- Well, you guys
did sleep together.

It's kind of a big deal, right?

- [Warren] Is it?

- You remember that
demonstration they
gave us in school?

The two pieces of
paper and the staple.

The staple was sex,

and two pieces of
paper got ripped apart.

- Right. Right, staple sex.

Holy shit.

- What, bro?

- What if, what if
Regina's in love with me?

- What?

- That's gotta be it, right?
She's in love with me.

So she's worried that she
ruined it by sleeping with me.

So she's moving to New York
to escape her feelings.

- I think you're confusing
love with blind rage.

Or frustration or...

- I don't believe it.

- Me neither.

- I can't let her go.
I gotta go talk to her.

- What, now? Maybe you
should calm down first.

- Do you know where she's
at? Like, right now?

- Uh, with Ava, maybe.

They're probably-
- I know. Five Mile.

- I don't think
this is a good idea.

- Don't try to stop me, Mac.

I have a burgeoning
romance to save.

- This isn't a
romantic comedy, bro.

(Warren shuffling)

(footsteps pattering)

Dude...

(birds singing)
(waves lapping)

- Okay, you're
charming, you're suave,

you're sexy and totally
cooler than New York City.

(door slams)

(birds singing)
(waves lapping)

Hey, buddy.

- Beer?
- [Warren] Always.

Thanks.

Did you get my text
about the condom?

- Yeah. Thank you.

- [Warren] Regina, I-

- Ugh, I think I just got mugged

of my sandwich by a raccoon.

Oh, shit. Should I
call an ambulance?

- No, it's fine.

- Hello, Warren.
- Hey, Ava.

Regina and I were
just uh, trying to...

Listen, can we have
a moment alone?

- No.

- Whatever you have
to say in front of me,

Warren, you can say to Ava.

- Okay, well, thing is you
can't move to New York.

- Actually I can.
- But why?

Why would you want to leave
this place? I mean, look at it.

(birds singing)
(waves lapping)

- Yeah, it is beautiful.

- I know we fucked up with the
whole billboard thing, but-

- For which you have
yet to apologize.

- Seriously, Ava, you're making
this, like, 10 times harder.

- Do you even know why
I want to move, Warren?

- Well, Mac and I
were talking and-

- Where is Mac?

He didn't come with you

on this ill-conceived
rescue mission?

- He's watching "The Lion King."

Okay, I was watching
"The Lion King,"

but that's not the point.

- What is the point again?

- The point is, Reg,

we don't want you to leave.

I don't want you to
leave. What about Game On?

- If you want to, you and
Mac can raise the money

and run the store yourselves.

You're not stupid. Really.

You don't need me.

- Maybe we do. Maybe I do.

(gentle solemn music)

- I can't make this
decision right now. Okay?

Just gimme some time.

I'm gonna go throw rocks
off a cliff or something.

- I forgot how intense
you could be, Aves.

Come on. Am I really that bad?

Fine. I guess I'll
take my leave.

- She's right. You know?

- [Warren] What?
- You're not stupid.

You're just incredibly
unbelievably ignorant.

- And lazy. Don't
forget about lazy.

Okay, okay, tough crowd.
See you around, Ava.

- And they say Mac
is the dumb one.

(birds singing)

(bright upbeat music)

(Regina yawning)

(Regina exhaling)

(bright upbeat music continues)

(cartridge thuds)

(Nintendo button clicks)

(gentle whimsical music)

(console clicking)

- Hey, Reg. Wanna play?

- I don't know.

(sighs) Fine.

You guys do remember, this
is a one player game, right?

- We're doing a speed
run. Ladies first.

(game console clicking)

- Why can't it
always be like this?

- Like what?

- Stress free. Happy.

- You're not happy?
- I don't know.

I just, I just wish
there was a balance

between who we were as
kids and who we are now.

- That's why everyone wants
to stay young forever.

It's hard to take life seriously

and be happy at the same time.

- That's true.

- I'd offer advice, but I've
avoided growing up altogether.

Money lets you do that.

- No shit, Peter Pan.

- It's not even our own money.

I guess we really are losers.

- Not losers. I mean, what
is adulthood really, anyway?

Age is just a number. I'm
sorry for what I said.

- To be fair, we did screw
up with the whole billboard.

- Which come to think of
it was totally your idea.

- You were just trying to help,

and nobody deserves to be
compared to the prequels.

You're both really good
people more or less.

And it's all that
matters really.

(Warren sighs)

- Courage.
- Power.

- Wisdom.

- [All] May the way of the
hero lead to the Triforce.

(group laughing)

- And may the way of the joint

lead to the high force.

(bright energetic music)

(footsteps pattering)

- (sighs) Why am
I not surprised?

- Shit. What time is it?

- Oh, goddamn it, Todd,
you cheeky bastard.

(Warren muttering)

- Yo, wake up.

- What? Why?

Oh, hey.

- No. Oh, hey, Ava.

- It looks like
you guys made up.

- Yeah, uh, I guess we did.

- Did you bring breakfast?

- Uh, no.

- What's up, guys?
- [Regina] Hey.

- Hello, children.

Please tell me
there's a good reason

I cut my beauty sleep short.

- Hey, did you bring breakfast?

- Boy, I am not your butler.

- A man can dream.

- Please remind me why
there's so many people

in my living room before noon.

- Because we have work to do,

and this is not
your living room.

- Oh, no, not work.

- Guys, do you wanna
keep Game On open or not?

- You mean you are
officially back on board?

- At least until
we find the money.

Besides somebody's gotta
keep these two assholes

from ending up homeless.

- Seriously, if you
expect me to use my brain,

can I at least get a donut?

- And we're not assholes.
We're human beings.

(bright whimsical music)

- (sighs) Okay, think, guys.

- There's no way we can pull
in another 30,000 by January.

- He's right.
Christmas is in a week.

- Any more potential investors?

- Mm, not that I can think of.

- I can sell my copy
of "Super Mario RPG."

- (laughs) What?

- Mac, you don't
need to do that.

I mean, it's probably worth less

than you think it is anyways.

- It's invaluable.

- Maybe to you.
- Priceless.

We still have one option left.

I've suspected it would come
to this for some time now.

- What?
- Regina, you're hot and all,

but there ain't a street
corner in the world

where you're gonna make
30 grand in a week.

- I'm not talking about hooking.

- Ah. What then?

What? Who do I know with 30...

Nah, you can't mean...

- Guys, we need to
talk to Warren's dad.

- [Warren] No.
- He hates us.

- He doesn't hate us.

- Yes, he does.

If we're gonna be
prostituting ourselves,

let's do it on a street corner.

If I'm getting fucked, I'd
rather it not be by family.

- Wasn't Warren's dad the
one that originally wanted

to shut down the shop
in the first place?

- Not exactly.
- [Warren] Yes, huh.

- Warren.
- Regina.

- Guys.
- Ava.

- Regina.
- Babe.

- Stop. Desperate times
call for desperate measures.

And I realize that this
isn't ideal, Warren,

but if we go to
your dad with proof

of what we're trying to do-
- I'm not gonna give

that man another
chance to humiliate me.

- He's your father.
- Exactly.

- He loves you and he
wants to see you succeed.

- Enough to fork over $30,000?

- We can make a five year plan.

- [Regina] What?

- Dude, I thought
you were on my side.

- A five year plan to show
how the business will grow.

I bet if we keep pushing
the way we have been,

we can open a second location
in, like, three years.

That's what he
wants to see, right?

Planning? Ambition?

- That's a great idea.

- That is a great idea.
I'm honestly stunned.

- Thank you.

- I just want to state one
more time for the record

that this is a terrible idea
and I do not support it.

- [Group] No one cares.

- Okay, let's start
with year one.

We buy the space and then what?

- I don't understand
why he has to come here.

He's doing this on purpose.

- Of course he is.

He wants to see what
his money is funding.

Come on, guys. Let's
get the vacuum.

- We have a vacuum?

- Do we have a vacuum?

(tense energetic music)

(vacuum clanging)

(Mac coughing)

(Warren groans)

(tense energetic
music continues)

(rose petals pattering)

- This isn't "American Beauty."

We're trying to get money
from him, not fuck him.

- Same thing, isn't it?
- No.

- [Regina] Guys, get dressed.

- All right.

(tense energetic music)

(Mac sniffing)

- Okay, you guys ready?

- My stomach feels funny.
- Why am I here?

We all know you're gonna
do all the talking.

Mac and I can just
wait upstairs.

- No, Warren, you're taking
lead on this. He's your dad.

- But-

- We're talking about 30 minutes
in exchange for 30 grand.

Just suck it up, okay?
- Fine.

- Mac.
- Okay, suck it up. Got it.

(doorbell rings)

But I still don't see
why we couldn't smoke

before he got here. (sighs)

- In conclusion, by the
end of the fifth year,

you would see a 200% ROI

and the launch of a statewide
gaming store franchise

that would rival
Washington's leading brands.

- (sighs) Wow.

When you said you wanted to
present a business proposal,

I didn't think you
would actually have
a business proposal.

- Your faith in
me is astounding.

- Setting aside for the moment

the fact that I gave you
several thousand dollars-

- Shh, shh, shh.
- Less than a week ago.

- Shh, shh, shh, shh.
- Wait, what?

- You holding out on me, bro?

- Nothing, nevermind.
It, it's not important.

- You certainly
have accomplished

a lot within the past month,
but the whole reason I decided

to stop funding the store
was because I want you

to make your own
way in the world.

- [Warren] Dad-
- You would never have

accomplished what you have
within the past month, Warren,

if I had continued
to support you.

- That might be true, but-

- I never had the support
growing up that you've had.

And look what I've
managed to make of myself.

How can you expect me to
keep throwing money at you?

- [Warren] But-
- Especially when you plan

on using it to continue
doing the exact same thing

you've been doing for
the last five years.

- We have no intention of
doing the exact same thing

we've been doing for
the last five years.

We wanna expand. We want
Game On to mean something.

- That's great,
Regina, but the thing-

- No, Mr. Bailey,
please just listen.

You want the truth, right?

Yes, we didn't do a ton with
Game On in the last five years,

but that doesn't mean
we can't do something

with it in the next five.

But without your help,

without help from
the older generation,

we will never be able to achieve

a fraction of what you have.

If you try to force us to
take the same path you took,

we'll never be
able to impress you

or achieve what you want for us.

The world that you
came up in is dead.

This isn't the 80s.
This isn't even the 90s.

If we don't forge our own
path on our own terms,

we'll never be more
than grunt workers

living month to month,
barely making it.

Gaming is not for children.
It is not a pastime.

It is a multi-billion
dollar a year industry.

And it's rapidly growing and
its user base is diverse.

We're not asking
you to support us.

We're asking you to help
us support ourselves.

- Hell yeah. What she said.

- Dad, please, please
take us seriously.

Take me seriously. I
won't let you down.

Not this time.

I want to do something
real with my life.

- Fine, I'll look
over your projections,

but I'm not promising anything.

- Thank you, sir. All
I want is a chance.

(all grunting)

- Oh, my God. That
was stressful.

- Regina, you are a goddess.

- Thank you. I think I almost
passed out there for a second.

- Yeah, I don't think
you took a breath

during that whole speech.

- So can we please
smoke some weed now?

- God forbid you go without
weed for more than two hours.

- I didn't hear a no.

- Yes, we can smoke. I
hid a blunt behind the TV.

- Score.
- Score.

(Warren exhaling)

(bright whimsical music)

- Whoa.

I can't believe your dad
gave you $8,000 for that.

- I asked for 15, but he said,

"Let's not get
ahead of ourselves."

- So you think he'll still
give us the money for Game On?

- I don't know. I can't
think about that right now.

I need to focus on this.

It's taking all my
willpower and brainpower.

- Yeah, it is kind
of a big deal.

- Shut it. I know.

But do you have a better
idea to get her to stay?

- Mm, nope.

- It's the only way.

(video games chiming)

- Oh, hey.

- Regina, can you stand?

- [Regina] What for?
- [Warren] Please?

- Yes, Warren?

Oh...

- It's rare to find a
girl who can hold her own

in a "Destiny" Crucible
Match with you,

toke up and not cough
herself to death,

and run your life better
than you ever could.

That said,

(video games chiming)

Regina Holloway,
will you marry me?

(video games chiming)
(consoles clicking)

- Could we have a little
privacy, please, Warren?

- [Warren] Is that a yes?

- Look, Warren, I
can't marry you.

We'd be one of those
terrible couples

that would argue all the time.

I don't want that and-
- Regina-

- I realize now, after I got
wasted and slept with you,

you've probably been
harboring feelings

for me now for some years.

And I just was too
immature to realize that

and shut it down before
it got out of hand-

- Regina-
- Well, now you're proposing

to me, and I should
have known you were

always secretly in love with me.

Isn't that how these
platonic relationships go?

- Regina-
- I am sorry.

I'm sorry. I know this must be
a really hard moment for you.

And I am not trying to be mean.

- I thought you were the one

that was secretly
in love with me.

- What? Ew.

Why would you think that?

- I don't know.

- Wait, so, so if you're
not in love with me,

why did you just propose to me?

- Because...

Because I thought it was the
only way to keep you here.

To keep you home.

- Warren, that's a
decision only I can make.

- I understand that. I just
hope you decide to stay.

You're my best
friend, you and Mac.

- Wait...

So that money your dad was
talking about yesterday...

Of course.

You know, maybe
he'd be more likely

to invest if you gave it back.

- Nah, he for sure
won't invest if he finds

out we're not getting married.

I think we were his OTP.

So I'll just hold onto it until
after the check is cleared.

(bright whimsical music)

- [Regina] I already told you.

- Yeah, but I want details.

Warren Bailey proposed
marriage. Cosmos shifted.

- That was a misunderstanding.

- If he's not in love with
you, then why did he propose?

- That's what I said.

Turns out he and Mac came
up with the marriage idea

to keep me from
moving to New York.

- If only you didn't
have a mind of your own,

we'd all be happy.

Speaking of, I need to
talk to you about New York.

- Oh, my God, yes. So I've
been doing all this research.

But it's really
kind of overwhelming

and I'm not really
sure where to-

- Overwhelming.
You're not wrong.

- So who keeps
blowing up your phone?

Clearly they just-
- Regina, I've been trying

to find a way to tell you this.

I didn't come home
early for your birthday

or because my boss
went on vacation.

I had to take time off
for medical reasons.

- Oh, my God. What happened?

Are you okay?
- I'm fine.

Sort of. I had a
nervous breakdown.

Nothing major. The stress
just got a little too heavy.

And I had this really
public panic attack at work.

And so my therapist
told me I needed

to take some time off
to get myself together.

- Why didn't you tell me?

- Because I didn't
know what to do.

I felt like I did
something wrong.

Like, suddenly my
life wasn't my own.

I've always been told I
was destined for success.

I had to get the best
grades and participate

in all the extracurriculars
and go to a top tier university

and get a business degree
so I would make it.

And then I get this
job in New York,

and everyone's so
excited for me, but-

- [Regina] But what?

- I fucking hate my job.

- But what about-

- I don't feel
like I've made it.

I miss my hometown, my family.

New York might seem like the
pinnacle of human civilization,

but it's not what
you've idealized.

- You know what? I've
been thinking that myself.

The city was always
just an idea.

My own imaginary escape route

from real life

and real problems.

- I don't think-
- I think I'm gonna-

stay here.
- I'm gonna move to New York.

- [Both] You're going to stay?

Wait, why didn't you tell me?

(both laughing)

- Oh, my God.

(bright whimsical music)

(both groaning)

- Sorry, dude.

- I can't take this anymore.

- It's been over 24 hours.

- That's not long, right? Is it?

- I don't know.

How long does it take to decide

to give someone $30,000?

- Don't worry, he'll call.

- What if he doesn't?
Then we're screwed.

- That's it. I gotta smoke.

- Not in here. We're open.

And that's the last
thing we need right now.

(door opening)

- Ow.
- Dude, it's your dad.

Hello, Mr. Bailey.

(video games chiming)

- Hello.

I was up most of the night
reviewing your business plan.

- We appreciate your time,
sir. We know it's valuable.

- Yes, thank you. It
means a lot to us.

- We really want
to make this work.

- So how long are
you gonna have us

stand here kissing your ass?

- Warren...

- One day, perhaps you
will earn some respect.

- But it is not this day.

- At least for now, it
seems you've learned

the value of hard
work, perseverance,

and most importantly, vision.

I will not be
giving you $30,000.

- [Warren] What?

- Your estimates are a bit
low, and I'd like to see

the second space established
within two years, not three.

I will be giving you 50,000
and I expect to see a return.

- Mr. Bailey! Thank you.

Thank you. This is the best
Christmas present ever.

- Aw.

- Sorry.

- Dad, I thank you.

This is really...

I mean, thanks.

- You're welcome,
son. Don't fuck it up.

- (laughs) Thanks, Mr. B.

- Yes. Thank you so much.

- Seriously. Thank you, sir.

Hey, I do know you.

- Cordelle?
- Yeah.

- What the hell? How
do you know my dad?

- He...

I mean, uh-
- It's okay.

He was bound to find
out sooner or later.

- Oh, my God. Are you cheating
on Weston with my dad?

Ew, gross. He's old.

- What? No, you idiot,
he's a customer.

- Speaking of which,
I'm just about out.

- Holy shit. We totally need
to smoke a blunt. (laughs)

(video games chiming)

- Warren? Warren?

You okay there, buddy?

- Dad,

weed, smoked...

- Son, everyone smokes.

- Oh, my God. (thudding)

(group laughing)

(bright whimsical music)

Congratulations,
beautiful bitches.

You ready to party hardy?

- Oh, yeah, kudos to us. Woo.

- To the Game On crew.

- We're glad you're
sticking around, Ava.

- I hope you don't plan
on coming to us for a job.

Now that Regina decided to stay,

company funds might
be a little tight.

Tough economy, you know?

- Actually, your dad
has already hired me

as head of marketing.
- What?

He can't do that. I'm
the hiring manager.

- (laughs) Uh, I'm
pretty sure the guy

who just dropped 50
grand on our laps

can hire whoever he wants.

- Hey, anyone know
where Regina is?

- Yes, she's putting on the
finishing touches of her makeup

and her high heels.

- What? Regina
doesn't wear heels.

- Actually tonight she does.

Look what we did.
- Wow.

- Holy shit.
- Take a good look, children.

This is probably a once
in a lifetime opportunity.

- You look fabulous.

- Every model in New York
wishes they were as foxy as you.

- Merci.

- About that whole
marriage thing...

- Shut up, Warren.
And don't babysit.

So you guys ready to embark
on our brand new adventure

in business ownership?

- We're going to
kick so much ass.

- And rake in mad money.

Maybe now we'll make enough
to start paying rent.

Am I right?
- True that.

- Wait, what did you just say?

- He said maybe we'll start...

- Wait, so you are telling
me that you assholes

haven't been paying
rent this whole time?

- Ooh, ooh-
- My dad owns that house.

Why would we pay rent?

- You owe me so much money.

You trust fund bastard.

- Oh, here we go again.

- I kind of love it
when you get pissed.

- Guys, come on.
It's Chris-ma-kuh.

- Merry Christmas, you guys.

- [Ava] Merry
Christmas, Cordelle.

- Shut up.
- And to all,

a fucking fantastic night.

- You know what,
Mac? You're right.

I'll just kill Warren
later in his sleep.

- What? (sighs) I'm sorry.

- Hey, it's my hit.

- Actually, that's mine.

- [Narrator] And so our heroes
met their destiny with heads,

and joints held high,
proving to the entire world,

all you need to start a
gaming store franchise

is a little belief

and a lot of your
friend's dad's money.

(bright festive music)
(people chattering)

(bright festive music continues)

(people chattering and laughing)

- So then I told him,

you can either stop
harassing my client

or I can tell your wife what
you said about my secretary.

- Ho, ho.
(group laughs)

- See, Reg, I told you.

Dick, assertive. It's all the
same to a true businessman.

- I believe you believe that.

- Warren?
- Yeah?

- I don't see a ring on
this lovely lady's finger.

- Uh...
- I thought you told him.

- I should have known it
was too good to be true.

- Hey, you guys,
I have a question.

Have you ever thought about
opening up your own dispensary?

- No.
- No?

- [Bailey And Regina] No.

(bright energetic music)

♪ Every day Mary Jane
and I go for a walk ♪

♪ She's a pretty little thing

♪ Lots of people
talk about her ♪

♪ I'm so glad I found her

♪ And I love the way
she makes me feel ♪

♪ She's been with
me all these years ♪

♪ And I know this love is real

♪ She keeps me high as a
kite and I feel so right ♪

♪ Every day at night
she's with me ♪

♪ I got joy in my soul

♪ Baby, let's roll and
keep it it extra crispy ♪

♪ I'm high as a kite
and it feels so right ♪

♪ Every day and
night she's with me ♪

♪ I've got joy in my soul

♪ Baby, let's roll and
keep it extra nipped ♪

♪ Because I'm high
as fuck yep, yep ♪

♪ I'm high as fuck yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck yep, yep

♪ I'm high as fuck

♪ You can bet I'm high as fuck

♪ Mary Jane she lifts me up

♪ Yeah, I gotta let you know

♪ Hey, yeah, that bitch
right there, she mine ♪

♪ Yeah, I do this all the time

♪ Yeah, this all the time

♪ See, right now this my vibe

♪ Yeah, this my vibe

♪ Oh, shit I'm getting high,
yeah, yeah I'm getting high ♪

♪ Hell yeah, I'm getting high

♪ Shit, just to pass the time

♪ And shit, my bitch is fine

♪ 'Cause she, she
drinking wine ♪

♪ I do this all the time

♪ Do this all the time

♪ I'm just on my vibe, yeah

♪ Just on my vibe, yeah

♪ I'm gonna get in the
game, but you stuck online ♪

♪ You wasting time
♪ Weak

♪ Shit, yo, I put my
foot in the door ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ I'll work for mine
♪ Yeah, work for mine

♪ Hey, I do this
all the time, yeah ♪

♪ This feeling so divine, yeah

♪ Somewhere on my grind, yeah,
this dirty song is mine ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, hey

♪ Sipping on drink
when it's early, yeah ♪

♪ I'm smoking dope
when it's early, yeah ♪

♪ Fuckin' on my bitch
when it's early, yeah ♪

♪ I'll be on my grind
when it's early, yeah ♪

♪ I'm gonna get your
girl on my getaway ♪

♪ I'm gonna get a
check, gonna go flex ♪

♪ Yeah, lemme get the wood

♪ I'ma work it best, yeah

♪ You can have a hit,
I'ma get the rest ♪

♪ Yeah, you're
sleeping on it, kid ♪

♪ Better get your rest

♪ Sleeping on it, kid,
better get to bed ♪

♪ Hit the bass more
so I can hit again ♪

♪ Man, that's how she
know I ain't you ♪

♪ I do this all the time, yeah

♪ It's always on my mind, yeah

♪ I used to could
have used your help ♪

♪ But now I'm doing
fine, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I found my vibe, yeah

♪ Now I'm getting high, yeah

♪ I know, I know, I'm high

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's fire, yeah ♪

♪ That bitch right
there, she mine ♪

♪ Yeah, I do this all the time

(tense ambient music)
(electricity zapping)