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1
00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:16,881
♪ It seems today
that all you see
2
00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:20,552
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
3
00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:23,922
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:27,159
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:30,395
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:33,632
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
7
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,400
♪ All the things that make us
8
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:37,135
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:41,973
♪ He's a family guy ♪
10
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:50,549
Okay, Peter,
I'm off to my book club.
You'll babysit Stewie?
11
00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:52,250
Only if I can have a Pawsicle.
12
00:00:52,319 --> 00:00:53,963
Only if you say it right.
13
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:56,120
Popsicle.
14
00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:58,857
Good. And you better be
responsible tonight.
15
00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:00,437
I don't want a repeat
of the last time
16
00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:02,505
I left you alone with
one of our children.
17
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:06,743
It's just so horrible.
18
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,466
I'm sorry, Lois.
19
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:11,775
I thought if I
shook him enough,
he'd stop crying.
20
00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:13,459
I was kind of right.
21
00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:19,044
Yeah, I'm babysitting
for Stewie.
22
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,079
I babysit now
'cause I'm growing up.
23
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,515
I'm so getting hair down there.
24
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,918
Anyway, you guys should
totally come over.
25
00:01:25,987 --> 00:01:28,453
What? You're already here?
No way!
26
00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:31,668
Look, I brought four cigarettes
27
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:33,437
I filched from my mom's purse.
28
00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:36,162
Give me one!
I want to look adult.
29
00:01:37,632 --> 00:01:38,832
Hey, watch this.
30
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:43,502
Oh, yeah? Watch this.
31
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:47,273
Yeah? Watch this.
32
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:57,027
Okay,
Quagmire's turn.
Truth or dare?
33
00:01:57,051 --> 00:01:58,884
I pick dare. No, no.
Truth. Truth.
34
00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:00,063
Okay, truth.
35
00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:01,920
Do you have AIDS?
36
00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:04,268
Come on,
we're all just trying
to have a good time.
37
00:02:04,292 --> 00:02:06,436
Okay, Cleveland,
your turn.
Truth or dare?
38
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,893
Dare.
39
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:11,763
Okay, I dare you to
make out with Joe
for 15 seconds.
40
00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:12,876
What?
No way.
41
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:15,212
You got to.
It's a dare.
42
00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:16,580
That's the game.
That's the game.
43
00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:18,982
Okay. What the hell.
I'm an open-minded
person.
44
00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:20,339
Yeah. So am I.
No big deal.
45
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:22,007
Just my body.
46
00:02:22,076 --> 00:02:25,677
Oh, my God!
They're going to do it!
Oh, I got to take a picture.
47
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:28,313
Holy crap! No way.
No freakin' way.
48
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,394
Quagmire, take a picture.
49
00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:31,561
Oh, my God!
50
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:37,556
Hey! Keep it down.
It's just two guys
making out. Relax.
51
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,324
Stewie, go to bed.
52
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:43,195
What, am I expected
to put myself to bed?
Is no one taking care of me?
53
00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:46,798
He's a worse dad than
a rich New York City
investment banker.
54
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:49,835
Hi, Daddy.
At school today,
they picked one kid...
55
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,771
Millie, it's in here again.
56
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,272
Me sorry, mister-sir.
57
00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:55,853
Get out the room,
them there, you
bother your father.
58
00:02:55,877 --> 00:02:58,455
Him unhappy
him had you in
the first place.
59
00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:02,447
Now, come on.
I'll let you rub some
lotion on me elbows.
60
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,361
We now return to Robert Mitchum
61
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:08,053
in Out of Shape In-Shape Guy
from the '50s.
62
00:03:08,122 --> 00:03:10,233
Gambling is illegal
in this town.
63
00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:12,257
Says who?
Says me.
64
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:14,004
You got a problem with that?
65
00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:18,097
I'm not really sure.Kind of waiting foryou to exhale.
66
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:22,934
Actually, yeah.I do have a problemwith that.
67
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:27,439
Oh, come on.
Stupid satellite TV.
Maybe I have to fix the dish.
68
00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:32,177
Uh-oh!
69
00:03:33,748 --> 00:03:36,582
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Hey! Hey! Help! Help!
70
00:03:40,686 --> 00:03:42,665
Hey! Hey, Brian!
Brian!
71
00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:43,821
What the hell?
72
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,302
Call the fire brigade.
Get a ladder.
Get me down.
73
00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:48,059
What're you doing up there?
74
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:50,473
Fucking your girlfriend.
What do you think I'm
doing up here? I'm stuck.
75
00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:51,707
How did you get on the roof?
76
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,109
What am I doing, an interview?
77
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:54,777
Shut up and get
a ladder or something.
78
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:56,846
Actually, yeah.
Maybe we are doing
an interview.
79
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:59,615
So, Stewie, tell us
about that new project
you have coming up.
80
00:03:59,639 --> 00:04:01,450
What're you talking
about? Get me down,
you douche.
81
00:04:01,474 --> 00:04:03,674
No. First you tell me
about that new project.
82
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:04,976
Oh, you are so dead.
83
00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:06,404
Is that the title
of your new film?
84
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:08,992
I've been working on a new movie
85
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:10,592
and it's really great.
Toss me a rope!
86
00:04:10,616 --> 00:04:12,895
No. That's not
good enough.
I want details.
87
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,786
I'm gonna slit your
throat in your sleep.
88
00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:18,000
Well, when you're
working with
Jack Black,
89
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:20,169
you just got to
keep up, you know.
90
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:23,672
I mean, he's doing his
thing. And you got to
match his energy level
91
00:04:23,696 --> 00:04:25,741
without looking like
you're trying to
one-up him,
92
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,843
'cause, you know,
that's a game you're
just not going to win.
93
00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:30,546
What was it like
having the privilege
of performing the words
94
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,403
of Oscar winner Diablo Cody?
95
00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:35,752
She's a goddamn
over-priced call girl
who got lucky once.
96
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,109
That doesn't sound
like an interview answer.
97
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:40,645
Say something nice
about Diablo Cody.
98
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:43,648
I envy the tattoo artist
99
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:47,029
who had that huge
canvas of arm fat
to work with.
100
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:50,021
Wonderful.
Wonderful. Hey, listen,
101
00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:51,801
can you hang with us
through the break?
What?
102
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:55,393
We'll be right back with
Stewie's co-star
Robin Williams.
103
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,022
No, no. I hate Robin...
Where you going?
104
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,966
Stewie!
What?
105
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:05,203
I have to tell you
about the future!
106
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:06,272
What?
107
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:09,541
I have to tell you
about the future!
108
00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:11,576
On the night, I go back...
109
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,789
Wait, wait.
No, no, no, no.
Hang on, Michael.
110
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:16,848
I have to tell you
about your future.
111
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,950
Peter, Stewie is on the roof.
112
00:05:19,018 --> 00:05:21,753
Nick Jonas is so cute.
113
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,555
Hey, Peter.
Yeah.
114
00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:24,956
Pillow fight!
115
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:26,290
You bastard!
116
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:44,609
Oh, my God!
Sorry, Lois.
117
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:45,877
Peter!
118
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:49,080
What is our infant son
doing up on the roof?
119
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:50,815
There's a raccoon up here.
120
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:53,451
Yikes! Looks like I
need a distraction.
121
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,887
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Conway Twitty.
122
00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:12,371
♪ I see the sparkling
little diamond
123
00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:15,741
♪ On your hand
124
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:22,547
♪ It's plain to see
that you've already
125
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:25,550
♪ Got a man
126
00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:32,957
♪ And I can tell
you're not about to fall
127
00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:38,663
♪ For any of my lies
128
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:45,570
♪ I see the want to
in your eyes
129
00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:49,908
♪ Deep in your smile
130
00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:54,880
♪ There's a quiet soft desire
131
00:06:57,283 --> 00:07:00,017
♪ Like the ember
132
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:04,989
♪ Of a once raging fire
133
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:12,664
♪ You know I could
light that fire again
134
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:18,570
♪ You know it isn't wise
135
00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:25,477
♪ I see the want to
in your eyes
136
00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:33,017
♪ How strong's a band of gold?
137
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:37,689
♪ Is it strong enough to hold?
138
00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:41,526
♪ When a love has grown cold?
139
00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:48,433
♪ And a woman wants
a love sweet and warm
140
00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:54,906
♪ How many women just like you
141
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:58,343
♪ Have silent schemes?
142
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:03,114
♪ How many men like me
143
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:08,753
♪ Do they sleep with
in their dreams?
144
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:14,692
♪ You can stay or you can go
145
00:08:14,761 --> 00:08:20,899
♪ And although I sympathize
146
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:27,873
♪ I see the want to
in your eyes
147
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:37,916
♪ I see the want to
in your eyes ♪
148
00:08:43,723 --> 00:08:46,257
Terrific. Terrific.
149
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:47,537
So, Lois, are you
still pissed at me
150
00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:48,859
about Stewie being on the roof?
151
00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:50,595
Yes, Peter, I am.
152
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:53,343
For crying out loud.
If Conway Twitty isn't
enough to lighten you up,
153
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:54,543
what more is it going to take?
154
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,668
A minotaur with
Sean Connery's head?
155
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,750
Is this 31, Spooner...
156
00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:04,187
Get out of here!
Just get the hell
out of here!
157
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:09,714
Look, Lois, what do you say
we just bury the hatchet,
huh?
158
00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:13,351
We'll stay in tonight,
pop some popcorn and
watch Jimmy Kimmel try.
159
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:16,988
No, thank you, Peter.
And even if I wanted to,
the TV is out.
160
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,801
There must be something
wrong with the dish.
161
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:19,902
It's all right.
It's all right.
162
00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:23,260
I'll fix your dish.
Where's my screwdriver?
163
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:27,832
Holy crap! You're not
going to believe what
I just found.
164
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,367
A yellow piece of paper?
165
00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:32,837
A raffle ticket, Brian.
But not just any raffle
ticket.
166
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,739
I won this in 1989
167
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:36,418
from a Honey Nut
Cheerios sweepstakes
168
00:09:36,442 --> 00:09:38,187
and I totally forgot
to cash it in.
169
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,945
It's one free round of golf
with a famous celebrity.
170
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:43,247
Wow! Who's the celebrity?
171
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,783
I'll give you a hint.
Famous football player.
172
00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:49,921
Had a bit part in Roots.
Couple of great scenes
in The Towering Inferno.
173
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:51,834
Wait a minute.
Chuck Connors?
174
00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:54,103
He was
a basketball player
and he was in Roots.
175
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,861
Yeah, he wasn't in
The Towering Inferno,
you dumb beaver.
176
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,663
What?
I didn't say nothing.
177
00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:00,732
Dad, who is it?
178
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:01,966
O.J. Simpson.
179
00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:04,769
Who's that?
180
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:07,372
O.J. Simpson
on Spooner Street.
181
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,541
Now that's a story
I can sink my teeth into.
182
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,210
Stick around.
183
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:23,454
Peter, why in the world
would you want to play
golf with O.J. Simpson?
184
00:10:23,522 --> 00:10:25,334
Why not, Lois?
He's The Juice.
185
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,303
One of the greatest
football players ever.
186
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:29,761
Peter, he murdered two people.
187
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,262
What?
188
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,576
He brutally
killed his ex-wife,
Nicole Brown Simpson,
189
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,144
and her friend Ron Goldman.
190
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:36,233
O.J. Simpson?
191
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:37,379
Yes.
192
00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:38,602
Was this in the news?
193
00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:40,905
Yes, Peter.
It was all over the news.
194
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:44,053
Well, now, wait a minute.
If he killed two people,
how come he's not in jail?
195
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:45,154
He was acquitted.
196
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:46,845
Well, there you go.
Everything's fine.
197
00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:48,624
Well, Peter,
it's generally
believed
198
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,092
that the jury made a mistake.
199
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:51,494
You're saying all those guys
200
00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:53,651
in their powdery wigs
and their pilgrim hats
201
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:56,153
and their big gross
wives were wrong?
202
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:57,834
Man, they'd have to be
stupider than you are
203
00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,298
when you fart yourself awake.
204
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:04,321
What the...
What... Who's there?
What's going on?
205
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:08,433
Whatever is happening here,
just knock it off.
206
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:14,772
So, I, Peter Griffin,
207
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:17,508
will be playing
one free round
of golf tomorrow
208
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:20,411
with the one and
only O.J. Simpson.
209
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,326
What? Peter,
you can't play golf
with O.J. Simpson.
210
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,849
He's a murderer.
211
00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:27,557
You sound just like
Lois. No, no, Joe.
I don't believe you.
212
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:31,055
Yeah? Well, say that
after a soul-searching
walk around town
213
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,690
to Dust in the Wind.
214
00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:37,795
♪ I close my eyes
215
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:41,666
♪ Only for a moment
and the moment's gone
216
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:48,072
♪ All my dreams
217
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:51,909
♪ Pass before my eyes,
that curiosity
218
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:57,047
♪ Dust in the wind
219
00:11:58,652 --> 00:12:02,186
♪ All they are is
dust in the wind ♪
220
00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:05,322
Oh, my God, Joe, you're right.
221
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,291
O.J. Simpson
is a murderer.
222
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,039
What am I gonna do?
I'm playing golf
with him tomorrow.
223
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,141
Well, now, wait a minute, Peter.
224
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,343
This maybe an
unprecedented
opportunity.
225
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,879
Maybe you
can wear a wire,
get O.J. to confess
226
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,580
and we can tape the whole thing.
227
00:12:18,604 --> 00:12:20,371
Wow, imagine it.
228
00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:23,407
Peter Griffin,
the guy who
took down O.J.
229
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:26,089
Marcia Clark sure
couldn't do it.
That dumb beaver.
230
00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:31,149
Hey, I wasn't even there.
I was building a Canadian
dam at the time.
231
00:12:31,217 --> 00:12:33,885
Did you know that
beavers affect
their ecosystem
232
00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:36,020
more than any other animal?
233
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,621
Except man.
234
00:12:37,691 --> 00:12:40,124
He was in our house earlier.
235
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,929
Now, remember, Peter,
236
00:12:44,997 --> 00:12:47,276
we're going to be
right here in the van
if anything goes wrong.
237
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:50,078
Just try to
get O.J. talking
about the murders.
238
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:53,304
Do you think he'd be
offended if I asked him
to sign this basketball?
239
00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:54,684
Yeah, I think he'd
be very offended.
240
00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:55,908
Oh!
241
00:12:57,677 --> 00:12:58,754
All right, Joe.
Can you hear me?
242
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,018
Loud and clear, Peter.
243
00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:06,896
Man, I don't think
I can do this.
244
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,760
Joe, say something to relax me.
245
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:13,191
♪ Well, I've been
afraid of changing
246
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:18,662
♪ 'Cause I've built
my life around you
247
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:21,565
♪ But time makes you bolder
248
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:27,872
♪ Even children get older
and I'm getting older, too
249
00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:29,140
That's right, Peter.
250
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:32,610
♪ I'm getting older, too ♪
251
00:13:32,678 --> 00:13:34,812
Thanks. I feel better.
252
00:13:34,881 --> 00:13:36,213
Hi. Are you
Peter Griffin?
253
00:13:36,282 --> 00:13:37,760
That's my name.
Don't put a knife in it.
254
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:39,464
Nice to meet you.
Come on, let's tee off.
255
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:45,957
Damn it. Will you look
at these golf shoes?
They're all scuffed up.
256
00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:49,660
My wife was
supposed to polish them,
but clearly she forgot.
257
00:13:49,728 --> 00:13:53,864
Man, sometimes I just
feel like I could just
stab her repeatedly.
258
00:13:53,933 --> 00:13:57,168
White women, huh?
Jewish waiters, too.
259
00:13:57,236 --> 00:14:00,338
I got this Jewish waiter
one time. It was awful.
Didn't tip him.
260
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:02,473
You ever do anything bad
to a Jewish waiter?
261
00:14:02,541 --> 00:14:05,554
What's that, Peter?
I'm sorry. I was
focusing on my drive.
262
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:08,412
You're doing great,
Peter. Just don't let
him intimidate you.
263
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,493
Guys, guys. Someone's
getting frogged in
the clubhouse.
264
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,397
Quagmire!
She sounds fat.
265
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:16,988
Hey, you know
what I like to do
sometimes, Juice?
266
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:19,556
I like to just confess
things I've done
to people.
267
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:21,459
You know, just clear
my conscience.
268
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,427
Makes me feel
a whole lot better.
269
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:24,928
Anything you'd like to confess?
270
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,897
No. Not really.
271
00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:30,367
Peter, we're not reallyhearing him very well.Can you get closer?
272
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:33,437
Are you sure, O.J.?
273
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,239
Are you sure you
wouldn't like to confess
274
00:14:35,307 --> 00:14:37,907
to the murders of
Nicole Brown Simpson
and Ron Goldman?
275
00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:39,109
What?
276
00:14:40,312 --> 00:14:43,013
What the hell is that?
You're wearing a wire!
277
00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:46,216
I am so murdered.
278
00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:47,551
Peter, I'm hurt.
279
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:49,264
How could you
deceive me
like this?
280
00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:51,554
Oh, God, O.J.!
Please don't kill me.
281
00:14:51,623 --> 00:14:56,260
Wait a minute.
Is this about that whole
business back in 1994?
282
00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:58,140
Well, yeah.
Darn it.
283
00:14:58,164 --> 00:15:00,830
That's been chasing me
for 13 years.
284
00:15:00,899 --> 00:15:04,000
And here I was
looking forward
to a nice day of golf,
285
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,937
away from all those people
who have demonized me
286
00:15:07,005 --> 00:15:09,251
and made me out to be
some kind of boogeyman,
287
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:12,509
even though
I was found innocent
by a jury of my peers.
288
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:13,922
But what about the civil trial?
289
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:15,146
Believe me, Peter,
290
00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:16,858
there was nothing
civil about it.
291
00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:20,250
Well, that makes up
for one murder.
292
00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:23,631
The only thing
I'm guilty of is
a few bad movies.
293
00:15:23,655 --> 00:15:26,756
That makes up for
the other murder.
I am sold.
294
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:28,859
You're so witty and charming.
295
00:15:28,927 --> 00:15:31,039
That's nice of you
to say, Peter.
296
00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:34,064
It's been so long
since I've had a friend.
297
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:41,438
You poor fellow.
Gosh, there's no way you
could've killed anybody.
298
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:43,140
Not with those sad eyes.
299
00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:45,689
I'm gonna make sure
everything's gonna
be all right.
300
00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:49,480
Look who I brought home.
301
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:53,017
Ten thousand rushing yards,
six pro-bowls, two arrests
and no convictions.
302
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:54,419
Orenthal James Simpson.
303
00:15:54,488 --> 00:15:55,597
Hi, Griffins.
304
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:56,932
Oh, my God!
What the...
305
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,567
I just think you're terrific.
306
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:00,691
O.J. Simpson?
307
00:16:00,761 --> 00:16:05,163
I may be a dumb beaver,
but I'm smart enough
to get out of here.
308
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:15,017
O.J., this
is my family.
Family, O.J.
309
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:18,443
It's nice to meet you all.
Hey, Peter, you mind if
I use your restroom?
310
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:20,578
No. It's upstairs
and to the left.
311
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,147
Peter, are you out of your mind?
312
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,349
Bringing O.J. Simpson
into our home?
313
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,262
Well, don't make that
face at me, Lois.
314
00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:28,331
O.J. is innocent,
all right?
Innocent?
315
00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:31,655
Yes. The most perfect
justice system in the
world found him innocent.
316
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,124
But we know he did it.
317
00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:34,736
You were there?
I didn't realize that.
318
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,839
And you didn't do
anything to stop it.
Accessory to murder!
319
00:16:37,863 --> 00:16:39,741
Why are you so quick
to defend this guy?
320
00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:42,199
Because he was
a childhood hero, Brian.
321
00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:45,603
Yes, he had a few
marital problems, but
I used to look up to him.
322
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:48,573
That's it, isn't it?
You idolized
O.J. Simpson as a boy
323
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,018
and you just can't
accept the fact
324
00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:51,620
that he's not who
you thought he was.
325
00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:52,922
All right, enough
with the yappity-yap.
326
00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:55,057
O.J. is going to stay
here with us in Quahog
327
00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:57,348
until I can help him
get his life back on track.
328
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:02,520
Hi, Lois.
329
00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:05,089
Hello, O.J.
330
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:08,193
Anything I can do
to help make dinner?
331
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:11,006
Sure. You can
take the lasagna
out of the oven.
332
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,429
You got it.
333
00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:17,835
Wouldn't you know it,
it won't fit.
334
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:21,038
Well, it's all right.
How hot can it be?
335
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,311
Oh, Lois, I'm so sorry.
336
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:27,611
It's all right, O.J.
337
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,961
Let me get something
to clean that up.
338
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:32,628
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
339
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,018
Brian, what's the matter?
340
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:36,054
You're alive.
341
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:38,356
Yeah. We just had
a little pasta spill.
342
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:39,624
Oh, thank God.
343
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:45,463
It's okay, Brian.
It's not the first accident
we've had in this house.
344
00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:48,578
Okay. One, two...
Hang on, hang on,
Brian.
345
00:17:48,602 --> 00:17:51,380
Stop the wheel.
Stop the wheel.
I BM-ed.
346
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:54,071
Hey, Juice.
Is it all right if I
call you Juice? Great.
347
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,151
Listen, I was wondering
if you could give me
a little advice
348
00:17:56,175 --> 00:17:58,275
on how to murder a woman
and get away with it.
349
00:17:58,344 --> 00:18:01,446
Cool. Look at that.
Hey, Chris. Go, long.
350
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,484
Touch down!
351
00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:08,052
Good grief.
352
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:10,966
What're you doing,
O.J.?
353
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:14,158
Well, I got no money
left to pay off my
civil suit debt.
354
00:18:14,226 --> 00:18:17,027
So I'm making a God's Eye
to send to Fred Goldman.
355
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:19,374
It's kind of nice, right?
356
00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:20,765
Better than nothing.
357
00:18:20,834 --> 00:18:22,834
He's got money to buy
tongue depressors
and yarn,
358
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:24,435
but not enough to pay us back?
359
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,716
Do you know how
much mustache cream
that could've bought?
360
00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:28,084
I don't like the mustache, Fred.
361
00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:29,685
Nobody likes the mustache.
362
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:31,153
That's why we lost the trial.
363
00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:32,810
That's not true.
364
00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:41,364
Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker.
365
00:18:41,388 --> 00:18:42,787
And I'm Diane Simmons.
366
00:18:42,856 --> 00:18:44,701
Our top story tonight.
Quahog, Rhode Island.
367
00:18:44,725 --> 00:18:47,258
Known forquaint neighborhoods,white sandy beaches
368
00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:50,462
and harboringblood-thirstymurderers?
369
00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:53,175
That's right, Tom.Former murdererO.J. Simpson
370
00:18:53,199 --> 00:18:54,632
has moved to Quahog.
371
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,412
We don't have footage
of the murder itself,
372
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:58,002
but we can show you
what happened,
373
00:18:58,071 --> 00:19:00,771
thanks to this reenactment
by the Quahog Opera Company.
374
00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:10,315
♪ I love you, Nicole,
but I must confess
375
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:16,554
♪ To some trepidation
for I am a lonely waiter
376
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:22,894
♪ Who loves a lass
above his station
377
00:19:22,963 --> 00:19:28,333
♪ But, soft, Ron,
my husband draws near
378
00:19:28,402 --> 00:19:33,204
♪ Nicole, I'm back
from filming the third
379
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,907
♪ Naked Gun movie
380
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:42,346
♪ Oh, horror
You have betrayed me
381
00:19:42,416 --> 00:19:45,917
♪ Al Cowling said
it would be so
382
00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:48,619
♪ Kato!
383
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:55,559
♪ I didn't see
a thing ♪
384
00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:02,399
Well, it looks like
this is one more town
the media has run me out of.
385
00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:05,848
Now wait a second, Juice.
You can't let them tell
you how to live your life.
386
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,549
You've been running
for too long.
387
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:10,453
I say you let people
get to know you
the way I have.
388
00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:12,121
You really think
that's possible,
Peter?
389
00:20:12,145 --> 00:20:13,511
Of course it is.
390
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,825
We'll even throw a big party
and invite everybody in town.
391
00:20:15,849 --> 00:20:18,009
And I promise
they'll accept you.
392
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:23,032
Peter, I really appreciate this,
393
00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:24,934
but are you sure
people are ready?
394
00:20:24,958 --> 00:20:27,224
Absolutely, O.J.
This party will
give you a chance
395
00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:28,792
to get know everybody
396
00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:31,362
and give them a chance
to get to know the
real O.J. Simpson.
397
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:34,198
Peter, do you really
expect anyone
to show up?
398
00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:36,745
Sure I do.
Look, here comes
a bunch of people.
399
00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:43,140
Wow, what a turnout.
400
00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:45,743
Peter, that's not a group
of enthusiastic
party guests,
401
00:20:45,812 --> 00:20:47,111
that's an angry mob.
402
00:20:49,381 --> 00:20:51,621
We don't want you
in our town, Simpson.
403
00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:54,419
We don't love you
like we did in 1993.
404
00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:55,886
D'oh!
405
00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:59,057
And as for you, O.J.,
we don't want you
here either.
406
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:08,032
Anyone who wants
a piece of O.J.
has to get by me.
407
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,001
No, Peter.
This is my fight.
408
00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:12,370
And I'll be the one to fight it.
409
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,671
Look at you all.
Look what you're doing.
410
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:17,675
Why, you're no better than
what you made me out to be.
411
00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:19,944
Sure, I made some
mistakes in my life.
412
00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:22,412
I forget to take
the trash out
some days,
413
00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:25,182
I've left the toothpaste cap
on the bathroom counter.
414
00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:26,517
I've taped football games
415
00:21:26,586 --> 00:21:28,263
without the express
written consent
416
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,922
of the National Football League.
417
00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:34,024
I guess what I'm saying
is I'm not perfect.
418
00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:37,261
The only difference
is I have the courage
to admit it.
419
00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,564
Does anyone else
have the courage?
420
00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:42,866
If so, why don't you just
come on up here and join me?
421
00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:45,169
He's right.
I'm not perfect.
422
00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:49,773
I suppose I'm not either.
423
00:21:52,345 --> 00:21:54,612
I guess none of us are perfect.
424
00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:56,547
Boy, do I feel like a jerk.
425
00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:58,015
Me, too.
426
00:21:58,084 --> 00:22:00,918
I think we owe you
an apology, O.J.
427
00:22:03,756 --> 00:22:06,135
You see, none of us are perfect.
428
00:22:19,705 --> 00:22:21,465
Well, I guess he did do it.
33310
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