All language subtitles for polyamory.married.and.dating.s02e08.720p.WEBRip.x264-GalaxyTV_Subtitles01.ENG

[On Fire by Andy Blunda]

- YOUR LOVE IS LIKE A RIVER

FLOWING THROUGH MY VEINS

I CAN'T GET ENOUGH

I'M ON FIRE

WE'RE ON FIRE

OUR LOVE'S TOO MUCH

- MM.
- [sighs]

- I COULD JUST GO BACK
TO SLEEP.

- [laughs]

- FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS,

CHRIS AND I ARE
REKINDLING OUR ROMANCE.

THE ALONE TIME
HAS REALLY REMINDED US

HOW SPECIAL AND IMPORTANT
WE ARE TO EACH OTHER.

- WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO
BRING IT BACK AND FORTH.

YOU CAN LEAVE
SOME STUFF HERE IF YOU WANT.

- YEAH, I'M NOT SURE
HOW I FEEL ABOUT...

[chuckles]
HAVING A LITTLE DRAWER

WITH A TOOTHBRUSH AND TOOTHPASTE
AND UNDERWEAR.

- WELL, I MEAN--

- HAVING TO SPLIT MY TIME
BETWEEN THE GIRLS

HAS BEEN REALLY DEVASTATING.

I FEEL LIKE MY HEART
IS TORN IN HALF.

TO BE MAKING, YOU KNOW,
EVERYBODY VERY HAPPY.

- IT DOESN'T WORK FOR ME.

I--I CAN'T BE IN LOVE
WITH TWO WOMEN

MAYBE NOW IT'S TIME

THAT THE THREE OF US SIT DOWN
AND TALK ABOUT

WHAT EVERYONE WOULD REALLY LIKE
THE RELATIONSHIP TO LOOK LIKE.

- AND I'M SAYING THAT I WANT
TO SIT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT IT.

AND THE THREE OF US
CAN SIT DOWN AND HAVE A TALK.

- OKAY.

I HAVE TO GO THOUGH, NOW.

I HAVE TO GO TEACH.
- ALL RIGHT.

- I WANT TO GET TOGETHER
AND TALK

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT CHRIS
SO STRANDED IN THE MIDDLE.

BUT I'M SCARED TO GET TOGETHER
AND TALK, AS I ALWAYS AM.

- I SAW THE CONDOMS AND LUBE.

THAT'S IN YOUR BAG?
- YEAH.

- YOU HAVE IT?
- I'LL BRING ALL THE TOYS.

- OKAY.
ALL THE TOY STUFF.

- GREAT.

MICHAEL AND I ARE PACKING UP.

WE'RE GETTING READY
FOR THIS BIG RETREAT

WHERE WE TRY TO GET
ALL OUR LOVERS TOGETHER

- AND I GOT--THE FLAGS
ARE THERE. OKAY. COOL.

- YEAH, I GOT THE FLAGS.

THANK YOU.
FUN.

THIS GETAWAY IS SO EXCITING

BECAUSE WE ARE GOING
TO HAVE A BIG SEX PARTY

WITH ALL OUR NEW LOVERS AND SOME
OF OUR OLD LOVERS, AS WELL.

- TZIPORAH.
- HEY, HONEY.

- THE ULTIMATE GOAL
OF THIS GETAWAY

IS TO BOND ALL OF OUR LOVERS.

- HEY, HONEY.
- GETTING PACKED UP?

- WE ARE.
- HI.

- THE NEW PEOPLE HAVEN'T BEEN
THROUGH THESE EVENTS YET

AND THEY'RE PRETTY
EMOTIONALLY STRESSFUL, I'D SAY.

- JESSE!
- GOOD.

I'M THRILLED.
GOOD, HONEY.

I'M SO GLAD THAT HE'S WILLING

TO STEP OUTSIDE OF
HIS COMFORT ZONE AND SHOW UP.

- I'M REALLY STOKED
YOU CAME, BRO.

- YEAH.
- WHAT MADE YOU CHANGE YOU MIND?

- I--WELL, OBVIOUSLY, I REALLY
WANT TO BE WITH JEN.

IT WAS REALLY HARD
FOR ME THINKING ABOUT,

LIKE, NOT GOING
AND THEN, HER GOING.

UM, I DON'T THINK I'M GOING
TO GO TO THE SEX PARTY THOUGH.

I JUST, LIKE, IT--I'VE GOT
THIS BIG KNOT

IN MY STOMACH RIGHT NOW.

- JESSE'S NEVER BEEN
TO A PLAY PARTY.

SO WE'LL SEE.

- I'VE REALLY
GOTTA TALK TO MEGAN

AND I'VE GOT TO GET HER
TO COME AROUND

AND DISCUSS THE STATUS
OF OUR RELATIONSHIP.

- SO HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT?

- [sighs]

YOU JUST, LIKE, TEXT ME,
"OH, I'M GOING TO STAY OVER

AT LEIGH ANN'S AGAIN"
AND, YOU KNOW--

I DON'T KNOW, IT'S--LIKE,
YOU HAVE NO DECENCY

TO BE, LIKE, OH, PLAN AHEAD,
BY THE WAY,

AND LIKE, YOU KNOW,
I'VE MADE PLANS FOR US.

YOU KNOW, YOU STAY
A COUPLE NIGHTS HERE,

A COUPLE NIGHTS THERE
WITHOUT ANY WARNING.

- YOU KNOW, HONESTLY, MEGAN,

YOU KNOW, I MEAN, THAT'S REALLY
WHAT THIS HINGES ON, MEGAN,

IS ARE YOU WILLING
TO GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE?

CAN WE INVITE HER OVER TONIGHT

AND SEE IF WE CAN FIND
SOME COMMON GROUND

THAT WE CAN ALL BUILD ON?

I WANT MY FAMILY BACK.

I DEFINITELY HAVE TO THINK

ABOUT MEETING
WITH CHRIS AND LEIGH ANN.

I KNOW HOW OUR CONVERSATIONS
HAVE GONE IN THE PAST,

SO I JUST HAVE TO TAKE A MOMENT

TO THINK IF I'M READY
TO TALK ABOUT IT.

- WE'RE HERE.

- YAY!
- HERE.

- WE MADE IT!
- YES.

- WE SURVIVED.

FOR OUR BIG LOVERS' RETREAT.

- I REMEMBER THIS WALK.

I'VE BEEN HERE SO MANY TIMES

WITH A NEW GROUP OF PEOPLE.

- SO HERE WE ARE.
- YAY.

- THIS IS HOME.
- NICE.

- BEAUTIFUL.
- YEAH.

- [laughing]
- WHO GETS WHAT?

- THERE'S ENOUGH ROOMS FOR
EVERYONE TO BE SEPARATE,

BUT, YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE POINT'S
TO KIND OF FIGURE OUT

HOW TO SLEEP TOGETHER.

- I'M A VERY LIGHT SLEEPER, AND
I DON'T REALLY WANT TO SLEEP

IN THE SAME PLACE WHERE PEOPLE

- YEAH, YEAH, I MEAN, YOU GUYS
CAN SLEEP SEPARATE.

WE'LL MISS YOU, THOUGH.
- THANKS.

- YEAH, I DON'T--I DON'T
WANT TO PROMISE

ANYBODY ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.

[laughs]
- THAT'S COOL.

- OKAY.
- THAT'LL JUST MAKE IT EASIER.

- YEAH.
- AND THEN IF WE DECIDE

TO JOIN IN, WE CAN.
- COOL.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS.
- I DO.

THANKS.
- I LOVE YOU.

- I'LL SEE YOU IN A BIT.
- YEAH, YEAH.

- I LIKE MY OWN SPACE.

MICHAEL'S SUCH A LOUD SNORER

THAT I LITERALLY CAN'T SLEEP
IN THE SAME VICINITY AS HIM.

- THIS IS NICE,
OUR OWN LITTLE PRIVATE ROOM.

THAT I'D LIKE TO HAVE A PLACE
FOR HIM AND ME TO GO,

SO WE CAN BE SECLUDED,
IF HE NEEDS IT,

IF HE GETS TOO UPSET, OR HE
STARTS REALLY REACTING.

I WOULD HAVE BEEN SAD
IF YOU DIDN'T.

- YEAH.

I WANT TO BE WITH YOU.

AND I FELT LIKE GOING
FOR A LITTLE WHILE--

- WITHOUT ME?
LEAVE ME HERE?

- YEAH, I PROMISE, I WON'T, UM,

OBVIOUSLY BE WITH ANYBODY ELSE.

I MEAN, IT'S JUST, LIKE, WHAT
EVERYBODY'S COMPLAINING ABOUT

TO ME IS BASICALLY
WHAT WE'RE DOING RIGHT NOW,

IS ISOLATING OURSELVES
AND HANGING OUT.

AND I DON'T MIND,
BUT I DO HAVE A HUSBAND

AND, YOU KNOW, AND I NEED
TO SPEND A LITTLE--

SOME TIME WITH HIM, I THINK.

I'M REALLY TORN RIGHT NOW,

BECAUSE IF I GO
TO THIS PARTY WITHOUT JESSE,

HE'S GOING TO BE SUPER UPSET.

IF I DON'T GO TO THE PARTY,

TAHL'S GOING
TO BE UPSET WITH ME,

SO I'M REALLY JUST
KIND OF STUCK IN THE MIDDLE.

- I'M TRYING TO BE, YOU KNOW,
AS POLY AS I CAN.

BUT I GOTTA TAKE BABY STEPS.

- ISN'T THIS PLACE GREAT?

- YES.
IT'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL HERE.

- RACHEL'S NEVER
BEEN HERE BEFORE,

SO I'M REALLY EXCITED
TO SHOW HER AROUND.

NOW THAT SHE'S MOVING
TO SAN DIEGO,

NOW I'M HOPING TO TALK WITH
HER ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP.

WHAT WOULD THAT
LOOK LIKE FOR YOU?

- I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD
TO MORE ONE-ON-ONE TIME

THAT YOU AND I--ALONE.

- MM-HMM.
- YEAH.

- I KNOW THAT WE LOOKED AT
HAVING THAT RELATIONSHIP

WITH KAMALA AND
EVEN PLAYING IN THREESOME AND--

- YEAH.

- DO YOU NOT WANT TO,

- WITH HER AND ME, OR...

- I THINK, FOR NOW,
I WOULD BE OKAY

WITH KIND OF LETTING
THAT ONE GO.

IT KIND OF CRASHED AND BURNED
THE FIRST TIME.

- WHAT ABOUT--WHAT ABOUT IN,
LIKE, IN THE SEX PARTY...

- YEAH.
- YOU KNOW, AS WELL?

- OTHER THAN GROUP, YOU KNOW,
SEX, AND THREESOMES AND THINGS,

WHAT DOES GOING DEEPER
WITH ME MEAN TO YOU?

LIKE, WHAT DOES--
- WELL, LIKE--

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN
WHEN YOU SAY THAT?

IS THERE ANY WAY
THAT YOU WANT TO GO DEEPER

THAT GOING DEEPER
WITH ME INVOLVE OTHERS?

- YOU KNOW,
I STILL DO HAVE A WIFE.

- BUT THAT DOESN'T
ANSWER MY QUESTION.

- WELL, YOU KNOW, I--I MAINLY,
YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT A LOT

AND INTO YOUR RELATIONSHIP
WITH YOUR WIFE,

THAT THAT REALLY LEAVES US
WITH NOT A LOT.

- I'M VERY AWARE.
- YEAH.

- I SEE IT ALL THE TIME

AND YOU CAN'T EVER
BREAK AWAY FROM THAT

AND THAT'S A PROBLEM.

I DON'T WANT IT TO ALWAYS HAVE
TO BE A BIG POLY POD, YOU KNOW?

- MM-HMM.
- I JUST WANT TO HAVE A POLY

BOYFRIEND SOMETIMES, TOO.
- MM-HMM.

IT WOULD REALLY BE MORE LIKE ME,
YOU KNOW,

LIKE, HAVING A SEPARATE
RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.

- THAT'S STILL POLY.

THAT'S NOT NOT POLY.
- WELL, YEAH IT IS,

THAT I HAVE MY LIFE
SET UP, YOU KNOW?

I HAVE--
- BUT MAYBE THAT'S WHY

YOU NEVER GO DEEPER
WITH GIRLS.

- MAYBE. YEAH.

YEAH.

- DO YOU LIKE THIS COLOR?

- I DO, BUT I LIKE
THE BLUE BETTER.

- TODAY I'M MEETING WITH EMMA.

SHE HELPS ME
PUT MY CLOTHING LINE TOGETHER.

- YEAH.
THIS WOULD NEED TO BE DOUBLED.

- YEAH.
- THIS IS GOOD.

SHE ACTUALLY HAS KNOWN CHRIS
AND LEIGH ANN LONGER THAN ME.

SO I THINK SHE WILL
HAVE REALLY GOOD INSIGHT.

- HOW'S YOUR MOM?
- UGH.

AND I'VE DEFINITELY
BEEN HAVING A HARD TIME

WITH NOT REALLY HAVING A SUPPORT
SYSTEM THROUGH ALL OF THIS,

SINCE MY FAMILY DOESN'T REALLY
AGREE WITH MY RELATIONSHIP.

YOU KNOW, CHRIS AND LEIGH ANN

HAVE BEEN LIKE THE ONLY FAMILY
THIS LAST THREE YEARS,

I WAS JUST LIKE, OH,
MAYBE I REALLY HAVE TO THINK

ABOUT WHAT IS MY FUTURE
GOING TO LOOK LIKE, YOU KNOW?

- WELL, HAVE YOU TALKED TO THEM?

- [sighs]
- WHERE IS EVERYTHING TODAY,

- CHRIS HAS BEEN
GOING BACK AND FORTH.

I JUST DON'T WANT TO FEEL
LIKE THE GIRL ON THE SIDE.

- WELL, THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT YOU ARE RIGHT NOW.

- YEAH.

EMMA IS VERY GOOD
WITH TOUGH LOVE.

- SHE IS NO BULLSHIT
AND WILL CALL YOU OUT.

- IN A PERFECT WORLD,
WHAT DO YOU WANT?

- I WANT CHRIS AND LEIGH ANN
TO MAKE A COMMITMENT

AND I DON'T THINK
THAT'S SOMETHING

SHE WANTS TO BE THE WIFE AND--

- BUT YOU WANT
TO BE THE WIFE, TOO.

I FEEL LIKE I HAVE EQUAL...

- SAY?
- SAY.

MY QUESTION IS,
LIKE, ARE WE, LIKE,

GOING TO KEEP GOING FOREVER.

- IN A YEAR.

I WANT TO KNOW THAT

IF I'M PUTTING A LOT
INTO A FUTURE

- I'VE KNOWN CHRIS AND LEIGH ANN
A REALLY LONG TIME.

I HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN THEM
TO EXPERIMENT.

I REMEMBER WHEN YOU
CAME INTO THE RELATIONSHIP.

- MM-HMM.
- AND I REMEMBER

HOW GREAT IT WAS.

AND THEN I REMEMBER
ABOUT A YEAR INTO IT,

LEIGH ANN SAYING TO ME, "WOW.

"BEFORE THIS STARTED,
BECAUSE NOW I'M IN A POSITION

"WHERE I'M IN
A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE

"THAT I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO
BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH,

"AND I SHOULD HAVE, AS A MARRIED
WOMAN, WITH MY HUSBAND,

I DON'T KNOW THAT LEIGH ANN
WAS EXPECTING

ON A PERMANENT BASIS.
- MM-HMM.

I'M KIND OF SHOCKED THAT
LEIGH ANN WASN'T HONEST WITH ME,

BUT I THINK THAT
I HAVE ALWAYS FELT THAT.

MAYBE IF SHE WAS HONEST
FROM THE VERY BEGINNING,

I WOULDN'T BE HERE TODAY.

WHEN YOU HAVE A CONVERSATION,
DO YOU SAY WHAT YOU THINK,

OR DO YOU SAY
WHAT CHRIS WANTS TO HEAR?

AND I DON'T KNOW THAT CHRIS

- IT'S HARD.
- TO HAVE TWO PEOPLE

THAT LOVE HIM
AND CATER TO HIS EVERY NEED.

CHRIS IS CHRIS' PRIORITY,

SO WHATEVER HE CAN DO
TO MAINTAIN HIS HAPPINESS,

HE'S GONNA DO.

AND YOU AND LEIGH ANN,

YOU MAKE SURE
THAT CHRIS IS HAPPY,

WITH YOUR OWN SELF
JUST PUSHED BY THE WAYSIDE.

I THINK YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF.

YOU CAN'T JUST RUN AWAY,
YOU KNOW?

- I KNOW.

- YOU HAVE TO SIT DOWN
AND TALK TO THEM.

YOU HAVE TO NOT BE AFRAID
TO SAY HOW YOU FEEL,

- EMMA IS DEFINITELY RIGHT.

I THINK IT'S TIME I TALK
TO THEM ABOUT HOW I FEEL

AND WHAT I NEED
AND WHAT I WANT MOVING FORWARD.

- MWAH. BYE.
- BYE.

- I'M DEFINITELY PREPARED TO SAY

THAT I'M LOOKING FOR EQUALITY
IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.

- IN THE SEVEN YEARS THAT
I'VE BEEN DOING PLAY PARTIES,

I'VE FOUND THAT HAVING
A PRE-PARTY CONVERSATION

TO SET INTENTIONS IS ESSENTIAL,

AND SINCE WE HAVE
A NUMBER OF NEW PEOPLE,

WE WANT TO FIND OUT
WHAT THEIR BOUNDARIES ARE,

SO THAT WE AVOID
HAVING BREAKDOWNS,

AND WE INCREASE
THE BREAKTHROUGH.

I NEED TO KNOW
IF SOMEBODY'S LIKE,

"LOOK, I DON'T WANT YOU GUYS
TO SLEEP TOGETHER."

IF YOU WANT TO JUST SAY,
I'M A RED LIGHT TO THAT PERSON--

SLEEPING WITH THAT PERSON
OR MAYBE I'M A YELLOW,

WHICH MEANS GO SLOW, OR GREEN.

YOU KNOW, IT'S TOTALLY COOL.

JASON AND I HAD A CHECK-IN

AND I'M HAPPY TO SAY
THAT HE'S A FREE AGENT

- WITH OTHER PEOPLE IN THE POD.

HOW ABOUT FOR YOU, JESSE?

- UM...YOU KNOW,
I'M NOT COMFORTABLE

WITH JEN BEING SEXUAL

OR REALLY SENSUAL WITH
ANY GUYS EXCEPT, YOU KNOW, TAHL.

WOMEN, I GUESS I'M OKAY WITH,

I'VE NEVER BEEN.
I HAVE TO KIND OF HAVE TO

FEEL OUT THE SITUATION.

I DON'T WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE.

- YOU GUYS CAN STAY TOGETHER
ALL NIGHT,

YOU STILL OPEN
TO THE POSSIBILITY

OF HER COMING WITHOUT YOU?

- I MEAN, IT'S--IT'S NOT REALLY
MY CHOICE TO MAKE, YOU KNOW.

I MEAN,
YOU GUYS ARE HER FAMILY.

LIKE, IT'S NOT REALLY MY CALL.

- IT'S AWESOME
THAT YOU CAME UP HERE

AND YEAH, I'D WANT JENNIFER

TO REALLY RESPECT
JESSE'S BOUNDARIES.

- SOUNDS GOOD.
- YEAH.

AND THE RED LIGHT'S WITH
SEXUALLY PLAYING WITH RACHEL

MAINLY BECAUSE I'M NOT
100% COMFORTABLE YET

- AND THE BOUNDARY WAS,
YOU KNOW, NO SEX,

AND IF YOU AND I ARE GOING TO
CUDDLE OR KISS, THAT'S OKAY.

- I'VE NOT CONNECTED
WITH RACHEL YET SEXUALLY.

WE KIND OF
HAVE THAT INCOMPLETE,

AND IT'D BE NICE TO SEE WHAT
HAPPENS BETWEEN US TONIGHT.

IT'S KIND OF MY INTENTION.
- [apprehensive sigh]

I DIDN'T REALLY CARE TO REVISIT.

I DON'T REALLY NEED
TO HAVE A SECOND TIME

THAT THAT DOESN'T WORK OUT.

THAT I'D LIKE TO EXPLORE

SOME OTHER PEOPLE TONIGHT.
- UH-HUH.

- AND NOT REALLY REVISIT
THE THREESOME WITH YOU.

- MICHAEL AND I
HAVE A TOTAL INCLUSION.

EVERYONE WE'RE PLAYING WITH
IS ALWAYS BEEN I'M INCLUDED,

AND FOR YOU TO SAY
YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE

DOING A THREE-WAY WITH ME IS
LIKE SAYING YOU'RE EXCLUDING ME

AND I'M NOT OKAY WITH THAT.

I WOULD LOVE TO PLAY WITH HER,

BUT IF SHE DOESN'T
WANT TO PLAY WITH ME,

SHE AT LEAST NEEDS TO KNOW
THE RULES OF A PLAY PARTY

IS THAT MY HUSBAND AND I
ALWAYS INCLUDE EACH OTHER.

- [sighs]

- OKAY, OUR LOVERS ARE GONNA BE
HERE SOON, SO LET'S GO DO IT.

SO IT'S TIME TO GET READY
FOR THE PLAY PARTY.

WE'VE GOT TO SET THE ROOM,
THEN DRESS UP AND CHANGE.

- THAT'S REALLY CUTE.
- ISN'T IT CUTE?

- YEAH.
- I LOVE THAT.

- IT'S REALLY CUTE.
HERE, WILL YOU TIE THAT?

- WANT ME TO TIE IT?
YEAH.

- SO LOOK, I REALLY WANT JESSE
TO GO TO THIS PARTY

SO I THINK MAYBE
IF I PUT ON SOME LINGERIE

AND SHOW HIM WHAT I WOULD WEAR
TO THIS PARTY,

all: HEY!

- BRO', HOW'S IT GOING?

- AS WE'RE GETTING READY,
OUR OTHER LOVERS SHOW UP.

ROXANNE'S MY GIRLFRIEND.

LAST YEAR,
I WAS REALLY POSSESSIVE,

BUT I LEARNED
HOW TO SHARE HER WITH MICHAEL

AND NOW I'M EXCITED TO
SHARE HER WITH OUR NEW LOVERS.

YOU GUYS EXCITED ABOUT TONIGHT?
- STROKE, STROKE.

- YEAH.
- EXCELLENT.

- CHRIS CALLED ME EARLIER

AND SAID THAT MEGAN'S READY
FOR US ALL THREE

I'VE BEEN DOING
A LOT OF THINKING

AND THE MORE I'VE DONE, THE MORE
I'VE REALIZED THAT TONIGHT

BY COMING CLEAN ABOUT MY BIGGEST
FEAR ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP.

[sighs]

[knocks on door]
- GOT IT?

- YEAH.

HEY.
- HI.

- GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

COME ON IN.
- WHERE'S MEGAN?

- UM, GETTING READY.

WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN, HONEY?

- HI.

- I HAVE--
- HELLO.

- OH, SHE'S HERE.

- IF MEGAN AND LEIGH ANN
AREN'T GOING TO WORK IT OUT,

CLEARLY IT'S NOT
GONNA WORK,

AND I DON'T KNOW YET
WHAT THAT MEANS FOR ME.

- OH, TO--
- I KNOW IT'S A LITTLE TENSE,

BUT...
- TO WHAT?

LIKE, WHAT ARE WE TOASTING TO?

- THE THREE OF US
BACK IN A ROOM.

I DON'T KNOW.
HONEST CONVERSATION?

I'M REALLY HOPING THAT EVERYONE
COMES TO THE TABLE TONIGHT

IN A MOOD TO BE HONEST AND OPEN.

I REALLY WANTED THE TWO OF YOU
TO SIT DOWN HERE WITH ME.

I DON'T BELIEVE
THAT I IMAGINED

HOW HAPPY THE THREE OF US
WERE, AT ONE POINT.

- YOU KNOW, I CAN REFLECT ON
THE PAST AND YOU KNOW, YEAH.

WE HAD AMAZING TIMES AND STUFF,

BUT I THINK A LOT--OUR PROBLEM

WHAT DOES OUR FUTURE
LOOK LIKE MOVING FORWARD,

BECAUSE WE DIDN'T REALLY,
LIKE, HAVE A PLAN.

WE DIDN'T TALK ABOUT THINGS.

WE DIDN'T SCHEDULE THINGS.

- I ABSOLUTELY AGREE--
- WE KNOW HOW TO--

- THERE HAS TO BE SCHEDULING.

THERE HAS TO BE SOME RULES.

THERE HAS TO BE
SOME BOUNDARIES.

AND THAT'S WHERE
THIS GOT FUCKED UP.

- I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS WHOLE
TIME, I WANT TO WORK IT OUT.

- I'M VERY MUCH, LIKE, LOOKING
VERY MUCH IN THE FUTURE

AND, YOU KNOW, I WANT
TO FEEL LIKE I'M AN EQUAL.

THAT I'M A PRIORITY.

- YOU KNOW, HONEY,
AS LONG--AS MUCH

AS I'VE WANTED
TO GIVE THAT TO YOU...

I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN GIVE YOU

EQUAL RIGHTS
IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.

- WELL, I'M GOING TO BE HONEST.

I DON'T KNOW
IF IT'S YOUR CHOICE ANYMORE.

YOU KNOW, I GOTTA TELL YOU.

CAN I CUT HER
OUT OF MY LIFE NOW?

NOW THAT YOU'RE COMING AROUND
AND SAYING,

YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T KNOW
THAT YOU CAN REALLY SHARE?

I DON'T KNOW THAT I CAN.

AN IMPORTANT PLACE
IN OUR FAMILY.

- THIS IS THE PART

AND I TOTALLY
FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU.

HOW SERIOUS
YOU WERE GONNA GET

AND WE WERE GONNA GET
IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.

LIKE, IT WAS REALLY
NOT WHAT I WANTED.

THAT'S WHERE MY FEAR AND MY
BOUNDARY, LIKE, CAME IN

AND I WAS AFRAID TO SAY
THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANTED.

AND I HOPED THAT,
LIKE, OVER TIME,

LIKE, I WOULD GROW TO
BE COMFORTABLE WITH THAT,

BUT THE TRUTH IS, IS I GREW
FARTHER AND FARTHER AWAY

- I MEAN, IT'S NOT
THE EASIEST THING TO HEAR,

BUT I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN
SCARED TO SAY THAT

FOR A VERY LONG TIME.

AND I THINK, AS HARD AS IT
IS--LIKE, YOU'RE CRYING NOW,

LIKE, BEING HONEST TO ME.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO JUST, LIKE,
BE THE GIRLFRIEND FOREVER.

I WANT A COMMITMENT, YOU KNOW?

I WANT TO HAVE KIDS,

AND I CAN'T HELP
BUT ASK IF, LIKE, YOU KNOW,

GOING TO BE ABLE
TO WORK TOWARDS?

- I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO TELL YOU.

THAT'S THE ONE THING
I CAN TELL YOU,

IS THAT I CAN'T
COMMIT TO IT RIGHT NOW.

YOU KNOW?

I THINK THAT YOU TWO
WOULD HAVE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN,

BUT IT SCARES ME TO THINK
THAT A GIRL

THAT'S TEN YEARS YOUNGER
THAN ME COULD COME IN

PARTWAY THROUGH OUR RELATIONSHIP

AND EARN ALL THE CREDIT

AND ALL THE RESPECT
THAT I HAVE.

IT SCARES ME.

WHAT I AM SAYING
THAT I'M COMMITTED TO

IS I'M WILLING TO BE HONEST.

LIKE, I AM RIGHT NOW
AND I'M WILLING TO TRY

AND TAKE THE LITTLE STEPS THAT
WE'VE NEVER GOTTEN TO TAKE

TO GET FARTHER
THAN WHERE WE ARE NOW.

I'VE FINALLY SPOKEN MY TRUTH

ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE
TO COMMIT TO MEGAN.

I'M THE ONE WHO CREATED
THIS SITUATION,

AND I EITHER HAVE TO
LIVE WITH IT OR LEAVE THEM.

WANT TO PUT DOWN,
LIKE, SOME FOUNDATION.

I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE'S SO
FUCKING SCARED ABOUT THE FUTURE

AND I CAN'T
KEEP GOING ON LIKE THAT.

- IS IT A QUESTION THAT REALLY
HAS TO BE ANSWERED TODAY?

- [sighs]

AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY
THAT--I DON'T EVEN KNOW

WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY.

WE'VE COVERED A LOT IN ONE DAY.

- I GUESS I'M GOING
TO GO HOME, THEN.

- OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.

- WE'LL WALK YOU TO THE DOOR.
- ALL RIGHT.

- BYE.

- I BELIEVE THAT MY FUTURE
IS WITH THESE TWO WOMEN.

I'M REALLY NOT SURE
WHETHER OR NOT

I WOULD ATTEMPT POLYAMORY AGAIN.

- I WANT TO DROP IN

AND LET'S GET CONNECTED
TO THE INTENTION THIS EVENING,

WHICH IS TO CELEBRATE
OUR LOVE AT OUR LOVERS' RETREAT.

I'M STARTING THE PLAY PARTY

AND I'M EXCITED
TO SEE ALL OUR LOVERS.

BUT JEN AND JESSE AREN'T THERE,
AND THAT'S A LITTLE SAD FOR ME.

SO THE FIRST
IS EVERYTHINS CONSENSUAL.

LIKE, YOU'RE...
- MM.

- ONLY DOING THAT WHICH

YOU'RE A "HELL, YES" TO.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT
TO LEAVE EARLY,

THEN YOU'D
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE
SOME PEOPLE COMING EARLY.

- OOH!
- YAY.

- SORRY WE'RE LATE.
- NO. IT'S PERFECT TIMING.

WE'RE JUST STARTING, SO...
- WELL, I'M GLAD YOU CAME.

- HI.
- COME ON IN.

- YAY!

- JESSE FINALLY CAME AROUND,

BECAUSE HE JUST REALIZED

THAT IF HE WANTS TO DATE ME,

HE CAN'T SEPARATE ME
TOO MUCH FROM MY FAMILY.

EVEN IF HE'S MISERABLE,
HE CAN SEE WHAT I'M DOING.

IT'S NOT A FREE-FOR-ALL.

TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP AGREEMENTS.

THE NEXT REALLY IMPORTANT THING

IS ONCE WE GET
INTO FLUID EXCHANGE,

WHICH IS, YOU KNOW, ANYTHING
INVOLVING THE GENITALS,

WE WANT TO BE PRACTICING
IMPECCABLE SAFE SEX.

AND, THEN, ALSO...

STOP TALKING!

[giggling]

[laughter]

[moaning]

[chatter]

- IT FEELS REALLY GOOD
TO BE AT MY FIRST PLAY PARTY

I THINK ONCE JESSE SAW

THAT I WASN'T GOING
TO BREAK ANY BOUNDARIES,

IT WAS FUN FOR HIM.

[laughs]

[laughter]

- WOW!

WHOO-HOO-HOO!
[laughs]

- [moans]

- TOLD YOU GUYS
I WAS GOING TO GET SWEATY.

- I NOTICED THAT RACHEL'S
CONNECTING WITH MICHAEL

AND OTHER PEOPLE.

SHE'S INTIMIDATED BY ME.

IF SHE DOESN'T LEARN TO
COMMUNICATE WITH ME AS A WOMAN

AND AS HER BOYFRIEND'S WIFE,
IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK FOR US.

[laughter]

[chattering and moaning]

- I DO WANT TO START SPENDING
MORE TIME WITH RACHEL.

SOMEWHAT DIFFERENTLY NOW.

[moaning]

- IF ALL OF MY RELATIONSHIPS
WERE PERFECT, IT'D BE BORING.

I THINK IT'S OUR
VULNERABILITIES,

OUR INSECURITIES,
THAT HELPS US GROW.

AND WE JUST KEEP
SUPPORTING EACH OTHER.

THAT'S WHAT ALWAYS US
TO TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL.