Original subtitles

[Music]

[Music]

- Forgiveness is a journey,

Forgiveness is a journey,

forgiveness is a fucking journey.

My counsellor,

rather one I trust anyway,

once checking in my room,

she told me I should write a letter

to every persone I ever disappointed.

That would take my all lifetime, so...

I'm gonna start with one.

"Dear Leanne,

I'm on my way to see your place for the first time.

How have you been, sis ?

Not too great, I gather.

You told me to come and stay

with you and Sean

after I'll go out of the rehab.

It's the only offer I got.

"Come and See the Pacific Ocean"

You said I'd be inspired,

another one of you fucking

"stay hope", full text.

You failed to mention

you'd be jumping off a bridge

five days before I showed up.

[Music]

- You were the fucking stable once, sis.

I would have liked you to see me,

ninety days and a new man

to give you the chance to be proud of your little brother for once.

I'm sorry I didn't make the funeral,

even if mom and dad had the decency

to give me some cash for the ticket.

I don't know if I can face them yet.

What would I say ?

[Music]

[Knocking]

[Knocking]

[Door closing]

[Slammed closet]

[Glass falling on the floor] - Shit !

[Sound of glasses]

[Something heavy falling on the floor]

[Liquid poured into a glass]

[Sobbing and whimpering]

[Crying]

[Moaning and crying]

[Crying]

[Moaning]

[Slammed door]

- We never got it right, to begin with.

I've learned in treatment

it's not about trying to cope

with the pains of our childhood.

It's about knowing

that no matter how fucked up it gets

there is someone out there struggling more than you.

[Music]

I just never guessed that person would have been you.

[Music]

This is fucking hard, sis.

No heroin, no meth,

no barbiturates to flatten me up,

especially the heroin which has been

my only really good friend all these years.

[Music]

- You didn't have a friend, sis ?

We used to be close, really close.

I can't help but think that things might have been a bit different

if I had answered more of your phone calls.

How the fuck I'm supposed to stay clean

with this on my shoulders ?

[Music]

♫ I like to myself ♫

♫ to make a wish come true ♫

♫ hold my head high up ♫

♫ like I was taught to do ♫

♫ It's not a person ♫

♫ but an idea ♫

♫ It's not a person ♫

♫ but an idea ♫

♫ lying next to you ♫

♫ is not enough ♫

♫ And all my memories fade ♫

♫ lost in time alone ♫

♫ My body feels the cold ♫

♫ The warmth that it has known ♫

♫ It's not a person ♫

♫ but an idea ♫

♫ It's not a person ♫

♫ but an idea ♫

♫ lying next to you ♫

♫ is not enough ♫

♫ Alone amidst the waves ♫

♫ sea keeps me alive ♫

♫ and I spit upon the graves ♫

♫ the day that I'm light ♫

♫ It's not a person ♫

♫ but an idea ♫

♫ It's not a person ♫

♫ but an idea ♫

♫ lying next to you ♫

♫ is not enough ♫

♫ lying next to you ♫

♫ is not enough ♫

[Music]

[Slammed door]

[Sound of poured liquid]

- Maybe you should cut that out.

[Sound of poured liquid]

- Maybe you should mind your own fucking businness !

- This why she did it ?

Eh ?

You don't think I understand ?

Eh ?

- This is disgusting.

Fuck !

Fuck off !

Get out !

Get out !

I don't want a fucking junkie in my house.

- Where may I go ? - I don't fucking care. Get out !

Go sleep in the street. They arrest you.

What fuck do you think you're doing ?

- I gave it to her.

- It's not yours - I made it for her.

- Fucking leave it !

Oh... you fucked !

- I'm sorry.

- Something tells me you said that before. - Never

I've never touched your sister.

Never.

She caught me.

- What ?

What ? She caught you what ?

She caught you in the bedroom ?

With another woman ?

[Sighing and gasping]

She caught you in bed with a...

with a guy.

[Sighing]

- She kept....

she just dropped her personals on the floor,

she stood there

she....

He didn't even grab his clothing and run out.

She looked at me,

she won't even...

the all kinds...

she just stood there... uh...

like she was sending me a warn [sobbing]

She knew, she've been more a stranger

or a ghost

and then...

she turned and she laughed.

- I think she is fucking idiot. [Sean sobbing]

I do.

She blamed you for ruining her life and

and now she is just doing

the best she can to ruin yours.

What about...

what abour her family ?

What do we do ?

What I do to,to, to...

You know ?

- She did... she...

I think that.... - She...

It's so fucking selfish.

- So...

- She was the last,

the last person I ever wanted

to hurt.

She... she...

she made everything to me,

she knows this, she knows that, didn't she know ?

does she meant,

she meant so much.

And now,

I'm not even get to say that I'm sorry.

So fucking selfish.

[Sound of waves]

I come a long way from that selfish addict at the end

You'd be happy to see it.

I wish you were here to help me.

get through the pain like you did when we were kids

from getting "gay bastards" at school and

beat the shit out by dad.

You were the only one who knew how to dress my wounds

or tried.

- I may go for a walk

Just need some air.

- Hey, you're not goin to kill yourself or anything ?

Oh Gods. That was terrible, sorry.

- Get some sleep.

[Door slammed]

[Music]

- I'm learning new things everyday now.

There is no escaping in it

I'm taking that long fucking journey

cause if there is one thing I've learned

is just that

without forgiveness

we got nothing.

[Music tille the end]