Original subtitles

YOU LAUGH, YOU LEAVE

We're already halfway through the game,

and four of the seven contestants have a yellow card.

It's time for our secret weapon.

-That's for me! -Who could it be?

-As always. -Is that my homies?

Can you see hair?

Maybe Alain Chabat.

Hello!

How are you, Ahmed?

-I'm great. -Break!

It's Kyan. Kyan Khojandi!

Break!

He was a brilliant contestant last year, right, Alex?

Brilliant!

He nearly got me.

No way! The guy brought cardboard!

That's not fair.

-Hi, guys. -We're happy to see you,

but you're here to get us.

Kyan just cracks me up.

What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here.

-I wish you weren't here. -I've got gifts. Nice ones.

-Look at me when you say hi. -I was told not to.

Not to look at me in the eyes?

Really? Okay. So I've got powers like Harry Potter?

I see.

I'm upset. I like you too much, Kyan, but right now, I hate you.

Kyan has free rein to make people laugh,

he is allowed to laugh,

and he's going to get as many people as possible.

This is horrible.

-You're dangerous. -Really?

It's frustrating. We were doing well.

They were all on the defensive.

"We can't laugh with this guy."

So now, I need to boost and to shock them.

And I'll succeed.

-So you can laugh? -I sure can!

It pisses me off! He can laugh.

That's unfair.

He can make them fall.

The lethal weapon.

He's dangerous.

Gérard, he can laugh, not us.

I got it.

-I don't trust him. -Look at him.

He's trying to get you.

This guy was bad news. He just arrived here.

He's not playing, so he can laugh.

I brought gifts.

You want to do that now?

These are welcome gifts.

I only have four gift boxes, exclusive experiences.

That's great!

Do you want to see my welcome gifts?

-Nice. -Lovely.

-There. -Careful, he can laugh and smile.

Those are unique experiences.

This one is mad, six minutes on a high speed train.

-Sounds good? -Thank you.

6 MIN OF THE TGV

In a window seat, if available.

-Gérard would like one. -Yes.

Here, I have "attend a baptism."

ATTEND A BAPTISM

-Yeah. -Take it.

-Great. -Good.

-Thanks. -That's funny.

I have an afternoon on a tractor as a passenger.

Afternoon on a tractor

Go for it, it's going to interest you.

Who is it for? Éric?

-I love the countryside. -Really?

Yeah.

Can we take the wheel?

I don't know, check with Fabrice.

Two days of training on how to plug in HDMI cables.

2 DAYS OF HDMI TRAINING

-That's nice. -It's useful.

You can do it on Sunday. It's great.

-It's in Angers. -Nice. Very nice.

I'd have liked an afternoon on a tractor.

His mission is to fuck us all.

So, Kyan, do something.

-You want me to do something? -A somersault?

-No. -In your bag, don't you have...

-In your knapsack. -Any other jokes?

Are you ready for it, then?

-You're all ready? -Yeah.

I have your mom. Isn't that your mom?

What a bastard!

Hello! Hello,

-I'm Panayotis' mom. -That's my mom.

How are you, Panayotis' mom, hello!

-Is that really my mum? -He got a tattoo of your mum.

Did you tattoo all our parents?

Not all.

And tattoos like that, fake tattoos, they stay about a week.

So, for a week, he'll have my mom on his head.

And during that week, he's going to do it at least once,

naked, covered in oil,

I imagine Kyan oiled up and my mom on his... Oh!

I don't know who did that, but she looks a bit dumb on the...

As a tattoo, do you see it?

She knew she was posing to be on someone's neck.

I took...

You see? She really took a pose for you...

-It's not a neck. -What's it called? The back forehead?

There? I don't know. The ass of the forehead.

Yes!

That's horrible!

Who? Who dared? Who laughed?

-This may be goodbye. -I don't know.

Go, Fifi!

Oh, Éric, for him.

-His beard grew. -There's two cards. A red one too.

Come on, don't pretend you haven't seen each other since...

Someone laughed. Do you know who it is?

-Me. -It was Pana.

Let's see.

It's for a neck.

What's it called? The back forehead?

There? I don't know. The ass of the forehead.

There it is!

He's going too far.

Yellow card and end of career.

And that was such an awful joke, too.

He deserved it.

I'm sorry, rules are rules.

Can we have him arrested? Any laws against these kinds of jokes?

Since when do we tattoo people's moms on weird body parts,

like the back of the head of a bald guy.

I don't care anymore, Kyan is bald.

You got a tattoo of my mom, I'm hitting back.

Well, good luck everyone and Kyan, we trust you!

Wait, wait!

-That was for the suspense. -I swear on my mom's life!

-Listen to me. No, no, no, no, no! -Is there a snitch?

-Is there a snitch? -Ahmed?

If he's staying, I'm not playing.

On your mom's life.

Nice one!

-Stop it! -You should have kept it.

Yeah, so funny. Stop, stop...

Quick, laugh, get it out, it's going to start again.

-Nice job. -Let's get back to it.

Here we go.

The noose is tightening for our contestants.

My lethal weapon got his first victim and he still has time to get someone else.

-Trump card! -Trump card, everyone!

Nice.

-We're not going to get bored. -With Camille, it's going to be horrible.

I'm scared of Camille Lellouche, because I can feel in her...

She's fierce. It's going to be complicated.

Wow, alright!

I don't understand at first.

And at one point, I look down...

And suddenly, a dick.

She's physically coming to touch us.

I got lipstick on the white suit, so we really touched.

That's really hard.

That's funny. Really funny.

That's very, very good.

-Well done. -Well done.

Did you enjoy it?

-It was funny. -Really disturbing.

I didn't want to do too much.

Well, it's a bit veiny, but it's turgescent.

That's humor I can't do.

That's humor I'm not comfortable with.

And seeing that humor in such a small body nearly killed me.

-Fuck, he has cards. -Here we go.

Wait, you have other things? Sketches!

-Go on. -Want to see?

-Yeah, it's time. -Go ahead.

I still have tricks up my sleeve,

I want my nice surprises to blow up in their face.

I'm going to try.

Because now, they're waiting, so I have to be even better.

If it's... Because now I have a nephew.

-Great! -And he does drawings.

-And that's really good... -So cute!

He's really creative.

-Wary intro. -I like it.

Showcase him on Amazon. That's great for him.

So these are the drawings, his little drawings...

This was his latest vacation. There you go.

It's so cute, shit, that dog is very well done.

-It's a bit of a downer. -He's in the dog's cage. The dog is free.

Maybe he is trying to tell us something.

Your nephew.

This was Christmas, I remember.

-Wow! -Damn!

The binky is so cute. He always has his binky.

-I love the tree. -That's your nephew?

The Christmas tree is nice.

-Is he all right? -Yes. There, he drew...

Little birds. You see?

-Sorry, it's upside down. Little birds. -Ah, yes, all right.

Wow!

He didn't paint the sky, he left it white.

-Are the birds dead? -They're sleeping.

He's firing cannonballs. Really, cannonballs.

Oh, no, that was hard.

-This was a memory, I told him... -Sorry, what?

Well, draw a memory you have with your mom.

-Yes, yes! -Asphalt!

Little moustaches. Want to have a look, Audrey?

-There are hairy chests. -I saw.

Well, I hope he's better. I hope your nephew is good now!

-Yes, there is... -No, wait, Audrey, look. Look. There's...

My dad is in here.

Six kilometers of moustaches.

Six kilometers of moustaches.

A lot of moustaches.

We can reach Sochaux.

This guy's impressive...

when he decides to get you, he's physically on top of you

and that's quite oppressive.

-This is Hervé, this is Loïc. -I had time to see.

-Hervé. -All the details.

That's Loïc, that's Hervé, that's Loïc.

That's Loïc.

-Gérard Jugnot is right there. -That's Loïc.

She's losing control, and that's what I want.

I'm attacking the weak ones. I don't attack the strong ones,

when someone is starting to break, I strike!

Audrey, we're watching you, the buzzer is right here, careful.

-That's Loïc Borgne. That's Loïc. -And Gérard Jugnot.

-That's Loïc, Loïc, Loïc... -And Gérard Jugnot.

-Loïc, Loïc, Loïc... -Again.

And that's René.

-And Gérard Jugnot. -I need to move around.

And Gérard Jugnot!

Whom we know.

-How can they not laugh? -There, she's leaving.

-Her technique. -The technique is to get up and leave.

All good, Audrey?

At some point, you need to move, because...

We get bogged down.

Not laughing requires a lot of energy.

So at some point, you need to find a physical response to the problem.

No, it's hard, it's like a sport.

Hey, if you want to play soccer with Gérard...

That's beautiful!

-Nice. -Keep it!

That cardboard is gorgeous.

Ah, that's so good!

Awesome.

That's crazy, I feel like I'm there.

-Love you, friends. -Well done!

-See you, Kyan. -Thanks.

Good job.

Kyan's free rein comes to an end.

They're all very hard to make laugh. Very hard. They're resisting so hard.

It's like when you need to pee, and hold it in, you don't need to go.

-Don't give up! -Thanks.

You're welcome.

Now we have one less thing to worry about, he's really funny all the time,

so we held quite well.

What is that?

There's a small package on the picture!

-Did you see it? -Yes.

That's all you look at.

-You're quite fond of dicks, right? -He only looks at dicks.

We just...

He's at the limit.

Gérard is so good. He's going to win.

-Audrey, how long have you been married? -I'm not married.

-You're not? -No.

-How old are you? -I'm 44 years old.

So don't talk to me like that!

And, like, you're married so... what?

-Is there an age for that? -Well, no, I'm just asking.

I'm like a snake.

For now I'm lurking, but at some point, I'll bite.

-I'm not married. -You're single?

-No, I'm not married. -You're in a relationship.

Yeah.

-Okay. -I've got children.

What?

-You have kids? -Yes.

-Yeah! It was time. -Did you have them yourself?

Your stomach is flat. It doesn't show at all.

I work hard.

See that?

We agree, that's undeniable.

Ciao!

Ouch!

Ah! Hi, my friend!

So, I'm here for bad news.

-You're getting a new haircut. -Suspense.

-A new jacket. -Let's watch it.

No need to joke now!

-You have kids? -Yeah.

-It was time. -Did you have them yourself?

Your stomach is flat. It doesn't show at all.

I worked hard.

-What do you expect? -Surgery?

Yeah, you really laughed!

The youngest one got Audrey. Well done, Riadh.

He was clearly biding his time to get his revenge, he was right.

That's fair, that's normal. And he won.

That's clearly a hologram...

That's such a fake video!

That's the revenge from the joke about...

-Yeah. -I was just chatting.

I didn't forget what you did to me, Audrey.

A yellow card for Audrey.

Yeah, but, really...

-Camille, you're the only contestant... -Fuck!

-Without a card. -Underwear.

I'm focused.

We can applaud Camille.

The only one. Incredible.

You're a bastard! He wants to screw me.

And that's true, I only wear G-strings.

-So... -Like me!

Well, good luck to you all. Let's go!

Fifi is a bastard.

When he says, "Let's congratulate Camille, the only one without a yellow card",

he means get her.

But I wanted to win.

Here we go.

Now it starts.

Camille, Camille Lellouche.

Are you related to Gilles or Philippe?

No relation.

-Are you related to Claude? -They are talented.

No. It's spelled differently.

Gérard is attacking.

Are you related to Guillaume?

-Who is he? -He's listing them all.

-All the Lellouches. -No.

Gérard, it's simple. I can laugh at any moment.

I'm like, don't talk to me.

He was my worst enemy. The worst.

My father, Jacques, used to sell office furniture.

-You're related to Jacques Lellouche? -He's my dad.

Because I knew a guy who sold office supplies, was that your dad?

Yeah, he sold erasers, rulers, and desks.

-Is that your father? So I know him. -He worked...

So you're not related to Philippe and Gilles Lellouche?

Exactly.

-Nor Claude? -No. Different spelling.

But same as Gilles and Philippe.

We're going in circle, right?

And Alain Chabat couldn't come?

-Where? -Here.

Well, do you want to invite him? I don't know him personally.

-I do. -Go ahead, then.

What's complicated is that the more the game goes on,

the less resistance we have, and we can get eliminated for anything.

But I want to be in the final.

Okay, damn it, card, trump card!

Trump card from Audrey Fleurot!

I mean, we haven't got all day!

Don't do anything too clever for us!

Audrey's an excellent actress.

And her trump card is scary,

because she can put herself in a character or in a situation.

She's an actress, so she can definitely make us laugh.

Oh dear, Fleurot!

-Audrey Fleurot! -Let's go!

What is she going to do?

I don't know about you, but I think not laughing requires a lot of energy,

so my idea is to relax a bit,

to take a break

by talking about a plain and even boring topic,

auditory hallucinations.

Good.

I love it.

ANISE SAUCE

AND SAUSAGES

I see.

RICE, PAELLA

Awesome.

That's good.

This is what is called a dos.

The phenomenon was discovered in the eighties by two Indian scientists.

George Hamitab.

-Hamitab. -And Eddy N'Djali.

Wow!

-Cool! -Very!

-I would have cracked on the spot! -Me too.

For sure!

So, this is a normal brain.

Wait, let me draw your attention

to the little red arrow showing a gray area.

Yeah. The matter.

Right. And this is a watermelon.

So I think we're beginning to see something,

but to have a better overall view,

I made a few pie charts,

because I find them classy, and it allows me to use my little stick.

-All right. -Which I left...

Backstage, don't move, I'll be right back.

We're waiting for you!

Damn it, I put it right here, where is it?

Okay, the other side.

I was like, "What is she doing backstage? What's the point?"

Completely random. So it made me laugh a lot.

Fuck, this is so annoying!

So, my charts.

NOT PAC MAN PAC MAN

I think the figures speak for themselves.

There's no figures here, but in absolute terms. Now.

JAPAN ALSO JAPAN

Funny.

There's no need to add anything,

but just so you're totally on my side, and I mean on the side of science...

Let me show you a few figures.

-Okay. -1.

22.

4,018.

Yes, these are figures.

-12.2. -Wow.

Those are numbers, right?

12.4.

I'm about to crack up, because it makes no sense! No sense.

So, we made good progress.

That's why we'll listen again to the first phenomenon,

to see if our perception has changed with what I just showed you.

ANISE SAUCE

Yes.

-And sausages. -And sausages.

-Rice, paella. -Rice, paella.

Christophe is working

Idriss is working

It was paella

In big dishes

There are lobsters

Sy. Omar Sy.

There's ice in

Ah, the text is blurry.

In the grass

Right, grass.

And now

This is mad.

-It's mad. -Yes.

There's loads.

It won't work.

-Well done! -Thank you for your attention.

That was a lot of work!

Well done, Audrey Fleurot.

Well done.

Very smart, very clever, totally off-the-wall.

It's funny, it's very off-beat humor.

It was horrible.

It went straight over the heads of many here.

That's very funny but I'm holding up.

Audrey Fleurot used her trump card, done, next.

They really are good.

There are less than two hours left, but our six contestants are holding up.

But it seems like Camille still has tricks up her sleeve.

-She has new games. -She has new signs!

My strategy is to be on the offensive.

I thought, we're with a few legends of humor,

so I needed ammo, on top of the rest.

Guys?

Karine Lallouche.

-Fuck! -Wow.

What a mix!

Karine Lallouche.

-That's doctored. -Yes.

These are not real people?

It's me in a different life, if I was not an artist.

-Oh, damn. -Audrey Cheumot.

Audrey Cheumot.

Camille went for a quite a strong visual joke,

I have to admit.

I was like, "Come on, hold it!"

Audrey Cheumot.

She's gone now.

If you see us. Alice Dubide.

Not bad.

Well, she almost looks like that.

-Her hair's a different color. -Magloire!

Yeah?

I'm not done with my signs, Ahmed. Please.

-Yes, that's... -Oh my.

Alright.

That was hard.

That was very, very, very, very hard.

I have a yellow card, so if I crack up over this, it's over.

It's over.

She's a librarian.

-Yeah. -A librarian?

A librarist.

Sorry?

-You worked hard. -I did.

Gérald Darmin.

That's... Oh, yes!

CONTROL ROOM

Gérard, amazing!

Ah, it's a mix between Bertignac...

Yeah, Bertignac.

-Bertivioc. -It's Darmignac.

-Éric is not doing well. -He can't take it anymore.

Paboyotis. Paboyotis.

-Is that Harry Potter? -Paboyotis.

Those are the actual glasses I wore.

-Really? -Yes.

Everyone wore those.

Next.

This one is my favorite so far. Erouc.

-What a face! -Yes.

Éric! That's hilarious.

A bit funny.

Good, this one is a bit funny.

Yeah.

That's hilarious.

-You're not laughing? -You have to laugh.

I'll admit it's funny.

It's swelling up.

All's in the neck.

I didn't think I'd stomp on them so hard.

Erouc! Erouc with the little red locks. It killed me too.

-Erouc and Ramzy? -Just Erouc.

Erouc is my German version.

Yeah.

Austrian. Heinrouk.

-Heinrouk. -Heinrouk!

CONTROL ROOM

There we go! He's breaking.

Who laughed?

Are you crazy?

It wasn't us.

Not us.

I think I'm leaving.

YOU LAUGH, YOU LEAVE

TO BE CONTINUED

Michel Flécan, plumber.

Gérard wants to kill me.

It is going off the rails, it'll end up in burnout.

There will be weddings around you.

And I'm going to fuck.

We all want to stay

But Audrey You'll get kicked out, out, out...

Right now, I'm in survival mode.

-Oh, there, a laugh! -Yes.

Is that you?

Who laughed?

YOU LAUGH, YOU LEAVE