Original subtitles

LOL YOU LAUGH, YOU'RE OUT

Thanks to his trump card performance, Ahmed triggered two cards.

A yellow card, and of course, the first red card.

No, he has a red card!

-No! -Well done, Ahmed.

Well done, Ahmed!

Lots of cards. Well done.

There were several laughs.

That's why it's important to use your card.

It can be useful.

-Who do you think it is? -Maybe me.

-Let's watch the video. -Look!

At first, at first.

Poo is delicious.

A thug!

A thug from Shanghai!

No way!

-Oh, dear! -Éric laughed!

-Me? -Big time!

You laughed, bro.

-That's a laugh. -No.

Then I didn't laugh either!

There's no way I laughed at that. Impossible.

Not at the bald joke.

Everyone who laughs denies it.

Except for me, that was true.

I like being a tease, so it's possible

ÉRIC JUDOR PLAYS FOR KOURIR

that it was because I found it quite lame.

It being awkward made me laugh.

And now, this is serious. I have very bad news.

I'm about to announce the first elimination of the contest.

No!

He scored a strike.

Yeah.

So this was for real?

Okay, this is getting serious.

A double! Double card!

Take a look.

I am Gérard Darmon. I played in a few movies.

Gérard wants to kill your ass.

Sorry, I'm just saying what I think.

-Fuck! -It came from deep inside.

What an amazing trump card!

RAMZY BEDIA PLAYS FOR FORCE DES MIXITÉS

The word "ass" surprised me.

I like laughing too much.

Let's applaud Ramzy and form a guard of honor.

He's our first one out.

It's not my fault I'm funny.

Well done anyway, Ramzy.

He took risks, he played.

He tried many things. Well done.

I'm so pleased.

I used a pretty vulgar word and it made Ramzy laugh.

PLAYS FOR FONDATION DES FEMMES

It's cool that you can make legends laugh.

-Shit. -This is sad.

I'm sad, I'm eliminated.

-You're the first one to leave! -Goodbye!

Bye! Goodbye!

I felt like an orphan when he left.

I don't think he got the goal of the game.

Did nobody tell him?

Well played!

We're gonna laugh, I swear we will.

-I'm really upset. -I bet you are.

I was pretentious, and I'm the first one out.

That's so lame. I can see it now.

-Come on, give me back my brother! -What will you do?

Calm down, you'll see him again. Don't worry.

-Ramzy! -Don't worry.

-Shall we get back to it? -Let's go.

Let's go!

Make us laugh, but don't laugh!

Someone is going to crack up.

Someone has to. I'm sure of it.

Ramzy was out first.

JUST RIADH PLAYS FOR LES DÉTERMINÉS

Let's go!

Time to go on the offensive. I'm firing shots.

Damn, what's Riadh up to?

What's this?

Gifts.

It's now time to use the face squeezer.

You'd make a better door than a window!

You look like Jamel! That's insane!

That's awesome!

CONTROL ROOM

A giant condom.

It looks like a botched birth.

He said it's a botched birth!

-Here. -What is it, bro?

-Put it on. -On your face!

Not bad. It's hideous.

Oh, boy!

That one, I almost laughed.

Damn!

That's very funny, Ahmed. That's very funny.

-Everything suits me. -It's funny.

Éric, you do it!

-You look the same. -Very funny.

That's very funny.

What's dangerous about Éric

is his face.

He looks like he's about to take a shit.

PLAYS FOR BOHÈME ACTION

His face.

There you go, go deeper.

Push!

There you go.

That's very cute.

Wait, we need to do a C-section.

It won't come out, it can't fit.

I love it!

He's a talented guy.

PLAYS FOR BIG UP PROJECT

I say it as if I was 57, but I like what he does. I'm a big fan.

So I try not to laugh.

Well, that's it. Done.

-They're good. -Really good.

Gérard is playing the guitar!

He's doing so well.

Careful, Pana.

God, the Italian song...

I was dying.

Gérard Darmon is killing me.

Really.

Well, friends, I'm happy to present to you my trump card.

Okay.

-Are you going to change your T-shirt? -No. It's my trump card.

All right.

I already want to laugh. Gérard is my worst enemy.

He had a sparkle in his eyes.

He was like, "I need to get them." So I was scared.

-Wow! -Damn.

His card is crazy.

It needs a whole setup.

It looked sophisticated, it required a lot of equipment.

PLAYS FOR RUBAN ROSE

We were wondering what he had planned.

If Gérard appears naked, we'll all laugh, so he'll win.

-If he does, I'll cry. -We'd be shocked.

We know he's capable of anything. Look at how he dressed up for the show.

He has nothing to lose.

I want to win, so I'll try

to fire a few missiles, send a Scud

to eliminate one or two.

Come on, let's go.

This is it.

Here we go.

Good evening, everyone.

So, as you know, I love animals,

and I love fine clothes too.

My way of honoring animals

was to offer them a ready-to-wear collection

that I will have the pleasure to show you.

Here's our first model. And what a model.

Jeans for the fox.

They're small jeans,

with a loose and baggy cut,

ideal to casually take the subway, for instance.

It's now time for our second model.

Flip-flops for deer.

Flip-flops for deer are bold and bold is very in.

Lovely!

A classic to highlight and protect the hooves

of this magnificent cervid.

Let's applaud him. His name is Daniel. Daniel and his flip-flops.

Next in this unique fashion show,

With our next model, the tie for orangutans.

Ideal for business.

Note the confidence,

the casualness

of this wonderful office ape.

Right now, I want to die, bro.

Another accessory, thanks,

the briefcase for boars, please.

Timeless,

simple, but still strict.

Thank Clarisse who's from Angoulême.

Angoulême.

But what do I see?

The next model,

a squirrel

with a tank top.

A sleeveless shirt that will suit those who are chill in life.

Great to play pétanque in the afternoon for instance.

The most charming item of the collection.

What is it now? It's a call to travel

with a butterfly and his backpack.

Yes!

Great for carrying a water bottle

in those dry heats.

It's hard, I swear.

Éric, you're leaving?

And it's now time, my friends.

-It's time to welcome our last model. -It's hard.

-Truly our last one. -Damn!

A chicken

wearing a robe.

What better sensation

than a soft bathrobe after a nice shower?

Good seeds to peck at, maybe?

Probably. I'll grant you that.

Thanks for being with us for this show.

-Well done! -Thank you, thank you!

Thanks to the guys backstage.

Thanks, little critters,

thanks to Anne Gallucheau,

Cedric Rouzian, Nathalie Guénanou, Antoine Taupe, Daki Boukaré,

Sylvie Clanche, whom I like a lot,

thanks to Bernard Roudin,

Serge Calagaule,

and Stéphane Pouet,

and to Cedric Yaourt.

Well, thank you very much.

-Thanks, everybody. -Thanks, Gérard.

And let's thank Clarisse,

who came from Angoulême.

Thanks for watching.

That's all.

Well done!

Gérard, that's the best trump card ever.

I want to hit my head.

The best one. I want to die. I'll go for a walk.

Damn, that was incredible.

That's the best trump card ever,

he's a genius, it was the best card.

-That was crazy. -His voice, the music.

The catwalks. It was hell.

Thank you.

Thank you!

This is serious.

This is serious!

Wait, who laughed?

It's Audrey!

And that's the second elimination.

Here comes my friend.

Look at the red card. He's holding it, look!

I'm sad to announce there's a second elimination.

-Oh, dear. -No.

Let's watch.

-It's time to welcome our last model. -It's hard.

-Truly our last one. -Damn!

A chicken

wearing a robe.

-Ouch! -I'm sorry.

I don't see any laugh.

There's nothing to forgive.

-You're not forgiven. -That's all right.

Let's applaud Melha Bedia who will join her brother.

-I'm so upset. -Well done!

-Nice job! -Bye, Melha.

Where are you going?

Where are you going, sister?

I'm so upset.

Getting eliminated so early...

I can't believe it. I'm so angry.

I'm so ashamed.

Here we go again!

It's hard for our eight contestants.

Half of them have a yellow card.

So they can't break now.

It gets harder as the numbers go down.

Two people are out.

PLAYS FOR SURF RIDER

Game on, I'm still in.

I made such an effort not to laugh,

so if I lose now,

it'd really be lame.

I hate animals. It was horrible.

-You don't like animals? -I love them.

I can tell you don't.

Éric is attacking Camille.

Really, what pets do you have, you filthy liar?

You almost got me.

What?

Almost.

So, what is it?

I don't have pets, because I'm obsessively clean

and I don't want any animal hair.

-Obsessively clean? -I got it. Bye.

-Stay, we can chat. -What?

Look. She's trying to escape.

-A turtle is great. -Yes, but they need...

-You have a turtle? -As a kid, but it died.

Damn, that's unlucky.

Being close to Éric was really dangerous.

We wanted to hit each other, like, "Don't do that."

-How did it die? -I let it die.

Ran out of lettuce?

Water. There was no more drinking water.

You let it die of thirst?

I was four, I didn't put enough water

and it was... Like that.

How could it get on its back?

When it's thirsty, it throws itself backwards?

No, my cat killed it.

-Which one died? -The turtle-cat.

Look. They both want to laugh.

Éric is going to get himself.

We're starting to talk and she does things with her eyes and her mouth.

And I'm thinking, "That's not a human face!"

Don't forget, you already have a yellow card.

So if you laugh, you're out. That'd be a shame.

I'm not going to lose.

-I've waited for too long. -See?

We agree. So, we'll finish together.

-Éric? -I'm...

Really, they're very good this year.

I'm going to try and get them with my new weapon, Trollin.

It's talking.

Come and push my button.

That's so weird.

-Should I push or not? -Yeah.

Just Riadh, looking for jokes?

You can't laugh,

but you can still be funny.

Who's that?

He's scared!

What's happening?

I love you all, you're a bunch of clowns.

That's tough.

I was shocked.

Really, I was shocked.

Come on, Trollin, a joke.

Gérard Darmon.

I remember when I was seven, you were already old.

He does a good lip-sync, but I can't talk like...

You're doing it so well!

No!

That was me.

-Yes, of course. -No!

There's no doubt here.

Oh, dear.

No!

You come here too often.

I'll stand up because I'm polite.

I'm sorry to come back so often but it's not my fault.

You know how it works now. Let's watch it together.

Come on, Trollin, a joke.

Gérard Darmon.

I remember when I was seven, you were already old.

Look at that!

That's great.

He wants to punch it.

Look at him laugh.

Look at that!

You can't know how much I love you,

and it's hard for me to give you this yellow card.

We know you're lying. You don't care.

So stay focused and careful,

I can be stricter with some of you.

Look at me because that's the last time you'll see me laugh.

Let's go, good luck.

I blame myself and no one else.

PLAYS FOR ADAPEI VAR-MÉDITERRANÉE

I got myself. That was stupid.

That was the most narcissistic thing ever.

It's done. Come on, let's get back to it.

Careful. So, who's going to break now?

-Can you teach me to play piano? -Yes.

-You want to get me? -Not at all.

Hang on.

Wait, I'll go on the left and you'll go there.

Just go...

And you'll see with my hand...

And one, two, three, look.

A calm moment with Camille.

-It might be a trap. -Absolutely.

-I'm improvising. -Yeah!

You can't deny my improv skills. Gérard, can you play?

I was a famous concert artist.

Let's have it be a fart piano.

What's that?

-What's that? -A piano fart.

Gérard doesn't understand what's going on.

That was new.

It sounds like a dinosaur.

Éric?

Excuse me.

Sorry. It's my...

Alice, are you okay?

See, everything makes us laugh.

No, he can't do that,

this is going to be very tough.

Éric's in distress.

What?

-It's the third elimination. -Serves them right!

-Someone's eliminated? -Yes.

-I think it's me. -Really?

What happened?

And he changed.

You've never come back so fast.

Oh, dear!

Come on, show us the red card.

Is it red?

Another serious moment.

Someone's getting out?

It's an elimination.

I'm holding a red card.

Let's see who's joining me in the control room. Watch.

A famous concert artist.

What's that?

Sorry. It's my...

Damn!

-You burst out laughing! -I didn't see it.

You burst out laughing!

You tried covering it.

I was crying with laughter.

End of the contest, that's hard.

I completely forgot I was in the game.

They got me.

You can applaud Alice.

Well done, Alice.

Thank you!

-Alice. You did well, really. -Good night!

-I was in love with you in middle school. -I know.

I didn't know you when I was in school. You were not born.

I knew you were going to lose. Love you.

As soon as you're out, she'll say mean things about you.

No, I love her, for real.

Gérard, this is on you.

-I know. -It's not his fault.

Good game, Alice!

I think she was very focused.

Too focused. She needed to go.

-Bye, Alice! You played well. -Be strong!

-Bye! -Have fun.

I feel awful.

-You're not the first one. -No, but I burst out laughing.

-Poor Alice! -I'm so upset.

You're upset.

You can sit next to Ramzy. Come.

-You didn't even use your trump card. -It's awful.

Right, you didn't use it.

Alex, start the game.

Yes, let's go.

Here we go.

-That's nasty. -Great.

-No more laughing! -I heard it.

-Yes. -Really?

Ramzy is out, Melha is out, Alice is out.

I'm like, "I completed my first objective

by not being the first one out."

I won, so I'm happy.

But the game is not over yet.

It's hard. I'm talking to myself.

Who are you talking to?

Myself!

-No way! -Yes way!

-Myself. -No way.

-Like, right. -Right!

Bad jokes cancel out each other.

-Crazy, right? -Yes.

They're all amazing, so we need a way to eliminate several of them.

Are you ready?

Time for our secret weapon.

That's for me.

Who could it be?

It's for me, fam.

Do you see hair?

Maybe it's Alain Chabat.

Hello!

-How are you? -Good, and you?

-Break! -It's Kyan.

-Kyan Khojandi! -Break!

Break!

He was a brilliant contestant last year, right, Alex?

Brilliant.

He nearly got me.

He came with cardboard.

That's not fair.

Hello, friends.

You shouldn't be here.

His mission is to get rid of us all.

TO BE CONTINUED

This is when I change sofas.

What a bastard!

Rice, paella

The game is going off the rails, it'll end up in burnout.

Trump card!

We all want to stay, but, Audrey

You'll get kicked out, out, out

Right now, I'm in survival mode.

There, a laugh!

Was it you?

Who laughed?