Original subtitles

Subtitle transcribed with Whisper AI.

This great honor, which has fallen to me,

to put in nomination for President of the United States,

that great American and Secretary of State,

the next President of the United States,

the Honorable William Russel.

That's what I call a real demonstration.

How long will it last?

This is a spontaneous demonstration.

Carefully planned.

We expect about 22 minutes of spontaneity.

This is a nominee, I must be on my way.

What about ex-President of the Hochstadter?

Yes, he's here in the hotel.

What about him?

Do you have his support?

He's going to speak tonight at the banquet.

It's between you and Catwell, which one he's for?

We'll just have to wait till then.

How about the platform yesterday?

I'm very pleased with our party's platform.

On integration, you felt...

That it's the federal responsibility to guarantee our rights to all our citizens.

If our party did not endorse that point of view, I would not be a candidate.

But the property rights on which this country is based is...

Our thought on life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness...

Look, we've got a poll schedule and I'm happy to an hour late for everything.

Mr. Secretary, how did you interpret the Gallup poll this morning?

I don't believe in polls, accurate or not.

Do you think people mistrust intellectuals like you in politics?

Intellectual? You mean I wrote a book?

Well, as Bertrand Russell said, people in a democracy tend to think

they have less to fear from a stupid man than an intelligent one.

Actually, it's the other way around. It's the stupid man.

Bertrand...

Bertrand Russell.

Wasn't Bertrand Russell fired from City College of New York?

He was fired, but only for teaching free love, not for incompetence as a philosopher.

What image do you feel Senator Cantwell is projecting at the moment?

I'm afraid I don't know anything about images.

That's a term from advertising where you don't try

to sell a product, you sell the image of the product.

Sometimes the image is a fake.

But after all, your own image is...

A poor thing, but mine own.

Take me as I am, wart and all.

What?

Thank you, Mr. Secretary.

There he is.

William Russell.

Well, so would I, I mean.

Very nice of you.

Anybody got a pencil?

I just know you're going to win.

Thank you very much, I hope so.

Mr. Secretary...

Here she comes.

My favorite vice chairman.

The old one.

The only known link between the NAACP and the Ku Klux Klan.

Oh, hello, how are you?

Bill! Bill!

Brace yourself.

Keep walking.

Bill.

Bill Russell, my favorite candidate.

Nice to see you again, Mrs. Gammon.

You know my campaign manager, don't you, Dick Jansen?

Nice to meet you.

Oh, Mr. Jansen, how do you do?

I love eggheads in politics.

Oh.

Yes, yes, I mean it, I really do.

You professors give a tone to these conventions.

Well...

Of course, a lot of the women don't like them, but I do.

You don't mind my speaking like this?

No, no, no, Mrs. Gammon, after all, talking to you is like talking to the average American housewife.

I mean, you're not average, but you speak for them.

Yes, well, that's very nicely put, Mr. Jansen.

Now, Bill, you don't mind if I talk turkey?

No, by all means, turkey.

You are not the ideal candidate for the women.

Which women do you have in mind?

The women don't like you trying to be funny all the time.

Oh, it is a flaw, I agree.

Yes, they want a regular kind of man, like...

Well, like General Eisenhower, with that smile, and he's not pushy or aggressive.

Or any of those things we, we women don't like in our men.

He was just grand.

Well, you could imagine him washing up after dinner, or listening to his wife's views on important matters.

Yes, indeed, you can.

So just don't try to be smart aleck, and talk over our foreheads.

Thank you.

Now, we want to see a lot more of your wife, a great deal more.

You know, there are still people who don't trust the English.

Well, Mrs. Russell was sick during the primary.

Yes, yes, I know, but she has to be at your side at all times.

She must seem to be advising you.

It did Adlai Stevenson great harm not having a wife and trying to be funny all at the same time, too.

Great harm.

Now, I want to ask you a blunt question.

What truth is there in the rumor that there's marital discord between you and Mrs. Russell?

My wife will definitely campaign with me if I'm nominated, of course.

Yes.

She's here, of course?

Yes, of course, she's here.

May I see her?

Yes, come up to the suite, unless...

I'm afraid that we have an appointment right now with Governor Merwin.

Maybe later this afternoon.

Yes, good.

Now, Mabel Cantwell is really such a nice woman, really one of the girls.

So they say.

Oh, Mrs. Gamadge.

Oh, yes, yes.

Us girls are going to hustle with Russell, he's our candidate!

Uh, has Mrs. Russell arrived yet?

Oh, yes, of course, she's here.

And they'll make a fighting team, a winning pair! Will and Alice Russell!

George and Martha Washington.

Shut up.

There he is.

Mr. Secretary.

Mr. Russell.

Mr. Secretary.

Mr. Russell, Mr. Russell.

Can you use a very good speech writer?

See, Jackson?

I'll work cheap.

Really.

Do it.

Can't see what?

I said, I can't see the snowball on the set.

What?

Turn that thing up.

I said, I can't see the snowball.

The snowball?

We're going to pick up three more from Texas on the second ballot.

Get me President Hockstader.

This race is going very well, sir.

Where is the snowball?

It's the largest snowball since Adlai Stevenson.

Yeah, but where is it?

They're having trouble.

I don't know what's wrong.

There she comes.

That's very satisfying.

What do you mean, where is it?

When's Joe Cantwell being nominated?

As soon as we're finished.

Tell President Hockstader I was trying to get him.

We're so close, we can almost make it on the first ballot.

If I can swing our Hockstader.

Where do we stand with Thailand oil?

Drink more oil.

Oh, that's milk.

Cancel the position paper on oil.

Mr. Secretary, sorry to interrupt.

That's all right, Janet.

Mrs. Russell would like to see you right away.

What? Where?

Well, right here, in your suite. She just telephoned.

Thank you, Janet. I've got to call in our Hockstader.

Okay. Oh, Bill, I've got a schedule for Alice.

Here you go.

Where's the speech for tonight?

Oh, it's coming right up.

Right. Alert Mimeo.

Right.

Where did that snowball go?

Alice?

Well.

Hello there.

I'm certainly glad you got here.

Everyone's been asking where you were and so on.

You have a nice flight?

As someone sooner or later is bound to say,

politics makes strange bedfellows.

I was hoping it wouldn't be you who said it.

I'm here because I read the Gallup poll yesterday

Apparently, you're going to be the next president.

Join the bandwagon.

I like that. No nonsense, no sentimentality, no...

No nonsense, that's it.

I mean it, Bill. I've had 20 years of nonsense of being a good sport, a good front.

Well, all the time my husband was devoting himself to his favorite hobby.

Alice, come on.

For the first time since we were married,

you really need me.

If I were to ask for a divorce now, you couldn't be president, could you?

I wouldn't count on that.

You'd make it awfully tough.

It's considered bad form to get rid of the old wife.

Especially when I don't want to get rid of her.

You mean when you can't get rid of her.

You know, I find I'm unexpectedly ambitious.

I'd like to be first lady. I really would.

I wouldn't mind seeing you now and then.

Oh, not often, of course, just occasionally.

An ambiguous encounter in the Lincoln bedroom.

I didn't know you cared.

Do I?

Well, anyway...

I'm going to insist on my one condition.

There's going to be no house on K Street.

Oh, wherever it was that President Harding used to go.

And no girls in the White House.

Or even on tour.

That's the treaty of suite 674,

agreed this 14th day of May in Los Angeles County.

Agreed.

Thank you.

How's it look?

Close.

I hope you make it.

I think we will.

Here's your schedule for today.

You knew I'd come?

I really think you'll make a good president.

But what happens to the treaty if I lose?

We go our separate ways.

Which is what you want.

Hello, Dick.

Glad you dropped in, Alice.

It looked amusing.

Hockstader's disappeared. Nobody can find him.

Stop looking in the mirror.

I never pass a mirror, I don't look in it. I wonder why.

Do you shy smile?

The one the housewives adore.

Any more indecent than a human face when it smiles.

All those predatory teeth reminding us of our animal descent.

Steady. No mention of Darwin.

Or the Garden of Eden was the word.

Here's your speech for tonight.

I think you'll enjoy it. It's one of your best. Read it.

Where do I speak it? I like to surprise myself.

Mr. President.

Hi, Alice.

What are you doing here?

Aren't you going to give me a big hug?

Mr. President.

I'm really glad.

Just plain old Art to you.

I didn't want anybody to see me just yet.

So I got into the suite next door and sneaked in through your privy.

You look wonderful the operation.

Oh, I should.

It's just a hernia from bouncing my grandson too hard.

What can I get you to drink? No, no, don't tell me. Bourbon and water.

Right. With which I will strike a blow for liberty.

Oh, don't let anyone know I'm here.

Well, son.

How do you like politics?

I like it so much, I'm beginning to worry.

It's awful, isn't it? It's worse than gambling, I sometimes think.

Me, I was hooked when I was no more and this high.

And a certain fourflusher by the name of William Jennings Bryan came to town.

You shall not press down upon the brow of labor this crown of thorns.

You shall not crucify mankind upon this cross of gold.

Hot damn, that was a speech.

Then Bryan lost the election.

So he did, so he did.

Hark, your endorsement is a very important thing to anybody who wants the nomination.

I know it is.

So indulgent, old dupper.

Getting you fellows to listen to my stories and watching you squirm a bit waiting to

see who I'm going to put my money on is just about the only pleasure I've got left.

I'm squirming.

You know, politics has changed a lot since my day.

The age of the great Hicks to which I belong is all over.

You rich boys got it all sewed up.

I didn't know you were a Marxist.

Marxist.

Never heard of the word.

Now, time was when you rich boys liked to play games like polo.

Now you play politics.

But I am nothing, not a realist.

The people like your sort.

They figure since you got so much money of your own, you won't go stealing theirs.

That poor but honest line of Joe Cantwell's doesn't seem to hurt him.

Oh, Joe Cantwell.

He hasn't got your money, hasn't got your brains either.

As a matter of fact, very few of us are as bright as you.

Come off it, Art.

No, no, no, I mean it.

You're a very superior man.

The kind we don't often find in politics, while Joe is one of these mediocre boys like me.

Only smoother, of course.

He is not like you. He'd do anything to win and that makes him dangerous.

No, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't go that far.

At least, he knows his own mind.

You think I don't?

Well, son, you've got such a good mind that sometimes you get so busy

thinking how complex everything is that important problems don't get solved.

Look, suppose... suppose the Chinese were to attack India.

That's the kind of thing you and I understand. I think we

could handle it without starting an atomic war or losing India.

But what would Joe do? He'd look at the Gallup poll.

And what would the Gallup poll tell him?

Well, ask any average American, you want to run the risk of being blown up to save India? He'd say, hell no.

Well, Joe would do the popular thing. He'd say, to hell with India.

And we'd be the weaker for it.

That day we're all afraid of would be closer.

Son, you've been reading too much of that Joe Alsop fellow.

Things are never that bad.

Do you believe in God?

Do I? Well, I was confirmed in the Episcopal Church.

Well, I'm a Methodist and I'm still asking.

Do you believe in God? Do you believe in a day of judgment and hereafter?

No, I believe in us, in man.

I've often pretended to believe in God for political purposes.

So far I haven't told a lie in this campaign. I've never used the word God in a speech.

Well, the world sure changed since I was politicking.

In those days we had to pour God over everything like ketchup.

No, I don't believe in an hereafter.

We passed this way just once and then nothing.

Bill...

I'm dying.

What?

The thing about hernia, that was just another lie, I'm afraid. I hope you don't disapprove.

I got cancer of the innards.

They tell me I may last just long enough to attend the next inaugural.

Art, I'm...

Isn't there anything?

No, nothin' they can do. Oh, they give me these little pills here to help cut the pain.

I tell you, son, I'm scared to death.

There's a phrase for you. Scared to death, it's exactly right.

I wish I could say something reassuring, but I know you wouldn't fall for it anyway.

The only good thing I find is the rest of you so-and-sos are going to join me.

Bill, you're going to have to talk to those Texans.

Hello, Mr. President.

Bill, don't tell anybody what I told you.

Of course not.

Meanwhile, I'm going to keep you in suspense until tonight at dinner.

And then?

And then I shall throw my support like a bridal bouquet to the lucky man.

So long, son.

Oh, those rumors about you and your lady friends,

they won't do you a bit of harm.

You haven't written them any letters, have you?

No, no letters.

Good. Now, you go on and talk to those crazy Texans.

I wish I could be a fly on that wall in there.

Goodbye, Miss Alice. Listen to you tell the whole truth

about what you really think of the depletion of oil resources allowance.

Get out of here, you old bum.

Is that a respectful way to talk to the end of an era?

The last of the great Hicks as he shuffles off the stage by way of the privy?

What did he say?

Yes, what did he say?

It's what he didn't say.

He's going to support Joe Cantwell.

He couldn't.

- I don't believe it. - He thinks Joe's tough and I'm not.

I was afraid of this.

Are you sure you understood him? You know politicians.

They're talking morse code.

I decoded it.

Jensen.

Yes?

The volunteer women for Russell are on the mezzanine.

They'd like to know if you can join them.

Of course.

She'll be right down.

Mr. Secretary.

She's here.

Who's here?

Mrs. Gamadge.

Oh, my God.

Oh, Mrs. Gamadge.

Ah, Bill.

So, she is really here after all.

Alice, you remember Mrs. Gamadge.

Of course.

How wonderful to see you and looking so well.

Love it.

Absolutely love it.

You couldn't look better. I mean it.

I like the whole thing.

Now, my dear.

When you are a first lady, remember this.

Don't do too much like Mrs. Roosevelt.

The women didn't like that.

On the other hand, don't do too little.

Like Mrs. Eisenhower, the women didn't like that either.

All in all, Grace Coolidge was really the best.

Bless her heart.

Mr. Secretary, about tonight...

Mr. Russell.

Do you favor impeaching the Chief Justice?

Not immediately. No, sir.

Are you aware that five members of the Supreme Court are card-carrying communists?

Well...

Mr. Russell.

You do not.

Mr. Secretary.

We're a member of a cell of communists.

That wasn't a cell. It was a hasty pudding show.

Don't blow it.

That's right.

His name is Bascom, Sheldon Bascom with a D.

Get him on a jet.

I don't care if he doesn't want to come.

Then put him in a bag. I want him here the first thing tomorrow morning.

The Cantwell demonstration just started.

He was put in nomination by Governor Carver.

How's it look?

Well, they spent money.

So did we.

Now we take you to Senator Cantwell's press conference at the Ambassador Hotel...

Joe Cantwell.

Public enemy number one.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have a lot of respect for William Russell.

Thank you, Joe.

But I don't think he's got the people's touch.

Never met a payroll.

I think we need a real man of the people for president.

Somebody like Art Hockstader who's been my ideal all my life.

I would not buy a used car from that man.

Senator, during the primaries, you and Mr. Russell disagreed on integration.

Now, we didn't disagree over the moral issue involved.

I personally find any kind of discrimination wrong.

But I don't think it's up to the federal government to decide something that is a local matter.

I may not like what they do in Mississippi, but I will fight

for their right to run their state the way they want to.

At the moment, you have all the southern delegates.

Look, I think we're all concerned, north and south, with the communist agitation that's going on.

I think the colored people are often used by the commies, who are everywhere, all around us, high and low.

And on tax reform?

I favor tax reform.

I think that by cutting down government spending, we can eventually eliminate the income tax entirely.

On Cuba, we gotta get tough.

That's all those people really appreciate.

And we gotta get us more military hardware.

Because when it comes to defense, we're being sold down the river by the so-called liberals.

So you feel we can increase military spending while eliminating the income tax?

And I think it's a pretty swell thing.

That in a country like this, somebody like me can be here today, able to speak for the real people of this country.

Where else but in America could somebody from a poor family be running for the greatest job in the world?

May the best man win.

Once more, Senator.

May the best man win.

Joe, you are my boy. Anything you want, you let me know. Show those Easterners how we do it, will ya?

Senator. Senator, we're with you.

Thank you very much, sir.

Conservatism has its voice.

We must stop communism now.

That's right. You're right, son. Thank you very much.

We must eliminate the social security system.

And the fluorine, Senator. The fluorine.

Don, you better get to Hockstader right away.

Tell him we gotta see him before that dinner tonight.

You think you ought to tell him about Russell now?

I do. It's now or never.

Joe Cantwell!

I just want you to know I'm for you.

Because you're not rich.

Well, may the good Lord increase your kind, ma'am.

And your big brother.

Oh, I like you, too.

I always hoped you'd be president, Mr. Cantwell.

Thank you. We all did. Thank you, ma'am.

And don't you forget it's November, you hear?

See, I still have my followers.

Sure you do.

It's a pretty frenzied demonstration for Joe Cantwell.

He's always been the darling of the conservative element of the nation,

but they're not behaving very conservatively today.

Look at them.

Yay, team!

Now for some scenes from the candidate's life.

There he is as a boy, back in Tracy Junction, son of a store owner.

From that small-town background, Joe Cantwell rose through several local offices to the United States Senate.

He first became nationally known when he sought to prove that the Mafia was really a part of the Communist conspiracy.

That was the beginning of a meteoric rise to fame.

Do you deny that the Communists instructed your group to infiltrate the seven legitimate businesses whose names I have here in my hand?

What is your name, sir?

What could be more clear?

There sits the enemy around us.

Now, a network exclusive.

An interview with Joe Cantwell's mother, back in Tracy Junction.

You must be a very proud woman, Mrs. Cantwell, today, with your son nominated for president.

He was always a fine boy, so ambitious.

Oh, I remember when he said to me one day, I have met this fine girl who is just like my mom, and it was Mabel.

Who he married, and here is her picture right here.

Yay, Mom!

Mrs. Cantwell, you certainly have a lot of friends here in Tracy Junction.

Mabel?

Come on out, honey, it's only me.

That's it.

Hey, now, come on.

Come on, now, honey, come on.

Now, get dressed, we only got 30 minutes before that press reception.

Don't worry, don't worry, I'll be dressed.

You look so tired.

Tired? I never felt better in my life.

Come on, come on.

You got pretty good coverage on TV.

Mom's on.

Hope he does like he says when he says the best man will win.

Good old Mom.

So, that's it for today.

William Russell, Joe Cantwell, Governor John Perlman...

Hello, Charlie.

...and Governor T.T. Claypool have all been nominated.

Tomorrow, balloting begins.

William Russell is in the lead, but the best information is that he is at least 50 or 60 votes shy

You know I am tired.

of the magic number it takes to be nominated on the first ballot.

Come on, Mabel, get dressed, will you?

No, don't get dressed.

What have you got to worry about?

Don't get so head up.

Why is Big Papa Bear so mean to poor little Mama Bear?

Oh, I'm sorry, baby, you know Papa Bear isn't mean to his Mama Bear ever, ever.

You got to get dressed, come on.

Well, well.

Joe, when are you going to spring that stuff on Russell?

Tomorrow.

Then Papa Bear and Mama Bear and all the baby bears are on their way to the White House.

Right.

Come on, get my electric razor.

Right away.

Just get some clothes on.

You've seen the latest Gallop poll.

Russell, 35 percent.

Cantwell, 28 percent.

Merwin, 12 percent.

Claypool, 10 percent.

Anderson, 8 percent.

And 7 percent, don't know.

Honey, do you think I'm gaining weight?

Around the hips?

You listening to me?

No, I don't suppose you are.

I never listen to Mama Bear at all anymore.

Honey?

You ever been unfaithful to me?

No. Did you read Walter Lippman this morning?

Listen to what that guy said.

The country's affairs will be in good hands should William Russell be our next president.

I don't know why I don't appeal to those would-be intellectuals.

Miami just doesn't project to them the way it is over here.

Well.

Look at you.

You look good enough to eat.

Come on, Joe, come on.

Come on, you're going to wreck my hair.

Come on, sit me up.

Joe, are you sure you've never been unfaithful to me?

Maybe just one little time on one of those junkets like that awful one when you went to Paris

and all the senators got drunk and Clarence Wettlau contracted a social disease

and Alice Wettlau was fit to be tied.

Honey, you know there's nobody else.

Even if there was, I wouldn't have the time.

Operating a tight schedule, you know that.

Hi, Doc.

Hi, Mabel.

Hockstadt is waiting for you.

Good. Good. Get the file on Russell.

Honey, now you play it cool like the kids say, huh?

Don't you worry.

Don't you worry.

Remember, flatter him.

I taught you that.

Hi, Tom.

Senator Cantwell.

How are you?

Hello, Tom.

Mr. Cantwell.

Mr. President.

Hiya, Joe.

Well, we're getting near that time.

We got my speech right here, my teeth are in, and I'm rarein' to go.

Ah, Don, it's good to see you again.

Will you join me in striking a blow for liberty?

No, no, thank you, sir.

Oh, that's right, Joe doesn't have the habit, does he?

I do, however.

You know, you fellows who don't drink, you don't realize how thirsty we old bucks get along about sundown.

No, sir.

You don't drink, you don't smoke, you don't philander.

You're just about the purest young man that I've ever known in public life.

Well, I try to be, sir.

Sure, Joe, sure.

Young man, you've done a remarkable job in the Senate, most of the time.

Most of the time?

Well, there have been moments when I've questioned your methods.

Well, you've got to fight fire with fire, Mr. President.

In the end, it justifies the means, huh?

Yes, I believe that.

Well, son, I've got news for you about both politics and life.

May I say the two are exactly the same?

There are no ends, Joe, only means.

I don't like to disagree with you, sir, but that's just plain sophistry.

You tell me there are no...

Oh, no, no, no, none of those highfalutin words that poor old Art Hochstadter, I'm just an ignorant country boy.

All I'm saying is that what matters in our profession, which is really life,

is how you do things and how you treat people and what you really feel about them.

And not some ideal goal for society or for yourself.

You know, I do assume, Mr. President, from the statement you just made, that you were against planning anything.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, here it comes. I know that voice.

Senator Cantwell, boy crusader, up there on TV with all...

Oh, I realize some of my methods upset a lot of people, particularly criminals and communists.

Look, I don't object to your headline grabbing and your crying wolf all the time.

That's standard stuff in politics.

What disturbs me is you're taking your own phony stuff so seriously.

It's par for the course trying to fool the people.

But it's downright dangerous when you start fooling yourself.

Mr. President, I take myself seriously because I am serious.

This is important to me, to all of us.

Which is why I don't want any little lectures from you on how to be a statesman.

Joe, if you really must know, I think the record of your administration is the heaviest load this party has to carry.

Why, you little...

He's pretty edgy, Mr. President. It's the old pre-convention jitters.

Yeah, of course it is. We've all gone through it.

I must say I had them myself when you almost knocked me off.

I'm sorry, sir, I flew off the handle. Don, would you excuse us, please?

See you later, Mr. President.

Well...

I know you don't like me.

Now that you mention it, I don't. I never have.

And I don't expect you to come out for me tonight.

I've often endorsed men that I dislike because I thought they'd do the job.

Well, I've got something here I want to show you about your friend William Russell.

It's all here in this file.

I want you to look at it and...

What's the matter?

What's that? Take one of my pills? They pep me up.

Joe, you believe in God, don't you?

I do.

Do you believe in a day of judgment and a hereafter?

I do.

If I didn't think there was some meaning to all this, I wouldn't be able to go on.

I'm a very religious guy in a funny sort of way.

I'm sure you are.

At times like this, I wish I was.

Dying is no fun, Joe, let me tell you.

That's what I'm doing.

Now, it's all here. Psychiatrist reports, everything.

And don't ask me how I got it. My means might have been ruthless,

but this is one time I think you'll agree the end was worth it.

What is all this crap?

A few years ago, your candidate, William Russell, had what is known as a nervous breakdown.

I know that.

He was going crazy for almost a year.

He wasn't going crazy. He was exhausted from overwork.

That was a press release. The real story is right there.

I know the real story.

You know it's political dynamite.

A complete record of his mental state.

How he deserted his wife.

How their marriage has always been a fraud, a political front.

I won't begin to speculate on how you got hold of all that.

And all the big words are there. Manic, depressive, paranoid pattern,

and all that combined with playing around with women.

So what?

I suppose you find promiscuity admirable.

I couldn't care less.

I was brought up on the farm and the lesson of the rooster was not entirely lost on me.

Lots of men need lots of women.

And there are worse faults, let me tell you.

What do you mean by that?

Oh, just that there are rumors about every man in public life.

When I was in the White House, they used to say that I...

Well, a lot of people got a lot of pleasure talking about it.

All right, putting the moral issue aside,

do you think it's a good idea to elect a man president who is mentally unstable?

He's not mentally unstable and you know it.

A manic depressive, apt to crack under stress.

Oh, so that's your little number, is it?

If you try to come out for Russell tonight,

I will personally see to it that every delegate gets a copy of this psychiatric report.

Are you giving me orders?

And then I will openly challenge Russell and ask him if he really thinks

that a man with his mental record should be president of the United States.

Wow, you play rough, don't you?

I consider this a public service.

I suggest you think twice before endorsing this neurotic.

Thanks for that suggestion, Joe.

And now, I am going to get your political scalp.

Don't mix with me, Hockstader.

You can't touch me, but I can send you right back to the insurance business.

And just think, I was going to endorse you for president.

I don't believe you.

You know, it's not that I object to your being a bastard, don't get me wrong there.

It's your being such a stupid bastard that I object to.

Thank you.

Thank you, Ms. Jackson. Thank you again.

Ladies and gentlemen, the former president of the United States,

Art Hockstader.

Thank you, thank you.

I'm sort of like a clock, I only talk when I'm running.

But I've been invited to say a few words here tonight and I've never been able to resist the sound of my own voice.

Not that anyone ever pays me the slightest mind.

Now, we are all going into that big convention and we are going to start voting.

And when we finish, we are going to vote ourselves a president.

Luckily, we have some fine men to choose from.

Now, there's my old friend, Attorney General, now Senator, Oscar Anderson.

And, and there's another old friend, the last flower of the Confederacy and yet also a progressive liberal,

everybody's favorite son, Governor T.T. Claypool.

Thank you.

That's a fine young westerner, with a good record of minding his own business, unlike some of us.

I name no names.

Governor John Merwin.

Now, we have had some bad old customs in this country.

And one of them was that a Jew or a Negro or a Catholic couldn't get to be president.

Well, a Catholic can now be elected president.

And someday we're going to have a Jewish president and we're going to have a Negro president.

Then, when all the minorities have been heard from,

we're going to do something for the downtrodden majority of this country, and I mean the ladies.

A woman president, I see no reason why it shouldn't be the beautiful and the energetic Sue Ellen Gamadge.

And what we call the front runners.

Those two men who got themselves the most pledged votes.

One of them alerted this nation to the dangers of the Mafia.

And as president, he will be able to bring the leaders of the Mafia, who have so far evaded the law, to justice.

This young man also has a profound sense of right and wrong.

Now, that sometimes means that they are wrong and we are right.

No, no, that's true. They are wrong, we are...

Finally, we come to my old friend and comrade in arms.

One of this country's great secretaries of state.

He's a lot smarter than me, not saying a lot, despite what you sometimes read in the papers.

Bill Russell, you and Alice take a bow.

And now, one last word.

Folks, we are going to nominate one of these men.

And the one that we nominate is going to get the full support of every man and woman here.

So that, come November, we win for the good of this country.

Thank you.

Just the break we needed.

How's this?

Mark, they're still against you.

Yeah, but he's not for Russell, that's the point.

Bill isn't easy to say, but...

I came here to support Cantwell for president.

I knew that this morning.

Did you now?

I have some gift for politics.

I never said you didn't.

Tonight you warned me about Cantwell's smear, so that means you've changed your mind about him, doesn't it?

Yes, I have changed my mind about him.

He lost me because he wasn't smart, he made a mistake.

He figured I was going to back you when I wasn't.

You got my message.

Joe didn't, that's a serious error, shows he doesn't understand character.

And then, this smear thing.

He fires off a cannon to kill a bug and that is just plain dumb.

So, I mean to knock him off.

Which means, I guess, that you are going to be our next president.

President by default.

Because you still have your doubts about me, don't you?

Yes, you are not decisive, you never were.

I mean, I shoot from the hip, but...

Sometimes you don't shoot at all.

I'm sorry.

Anyway, I'm sort of working for you now.

And my advice is to start scrapping and the first thing is to counteract that head doctor report.

The doctor is on his way here now, he'll testify, I'm all right.

You aren't crazy, are you?

Any man who wants to be president is crazy.

Speak for yourself, son.

Jensen just found out that Don Cantwell bribed the nurse to give you my case history.

Clinic plans to sue for theft.

That's the ticket.

I think we can scare Joe off, I'm not worried.

Right now, I need votes.

I can get you Claypool.

How much?

Vice President.

Too high.

Picky, aren't we?

Yes, and decisive.

How about Merwin?

Vice President?

Yes.

Okay. Anderson?

If I have to.

I'll see what I can do.

Oh, I tell you, there's nothing like a dirty, low-down political fight to put the roses in your cheeks.

How do you feel?

Immortal.

Before sunrise, Joe Cantwell will be out of presidential politics.

I'm delighted to see you. Welcome to a little bit of the old South.

I want to talk to you.

Are you with the press?

Well, I'm his secretary.

Well, you tell him old T.T. has done more for civil

rights in our state than anybody ever has before or since.

Since what?

T.T. has made a fine conservative president with a dynamic and progressive approach to real problems.

Like integration?

T.T. has done more for integration than any governor we ever had.

Well, how many integrated schools are there in your state?

None, thank God. But we are making the most remarkable progress.

Wonderful to see you, Mr. President.

Well, it's wonderful to see you, Joe.

Well, you don't have to worry about our boy John Merwin. He's with us all the way.

You don't say.

Going to run with Joe?

Well, that's nice to know.

What do you say, Joe?

Oh, we're over the top.

Let's go.

Why doesn't Hockstader support our boy?

The vice president?

President?

New Brooms?

Well, what about Russell?

What about Cantwell? He's just promised us the key to the treasury.

Well, you've got to admit we're in the best spot. The man in the middle.

Who calls the turn?

Oscar, I feel positively you are...

What's this about Russell being sick or something?

Oh, he looks okay to me.

Who's the old boy supporting?

Well, he's not supporting Cantwell.

Oscar Anderson is perhaps the greatest conservationist in the United States.

His soil erosion control program was a great success.

You know, we had this dust bowl, but now it's a flowering garden.

Good evening.

Oh, just make him a round. Spreading sweetness and light.

How's our old buddy Oscar Anderson?

Oh, just fine. We got him.

Keep up the good work, John.

Thank you, Mr. President. I sure will.

He's at the airport.

All right, bring him straight here, but don't let anybody see him.

That is the end of Joe Cantwell.

Well, I hope so.

Whatever it is, Jim Connor, California delegation, just called.

Uh-huh. Another split in the Golden State. Good news.

Forget it.

Anderson just called. He's agreed to run moving after the first ballot.

Anderson?

Well, why not?

You know, with his votes, we just might make it on the second ballot.

Art made the deal, but she called me first.

Anderson's not bad, you know.

Hello? Yes, he's here.

Yes?

Who?

Oh, Governor Claypool.

Oh, hello.

You saw Art?

Good.

Good.

Oh, he did?

Yes.

You what?

Of course, I'd be happy to have you on the same ticket if I'm nominated, of course.

Look, can I call you back? I've got a meeting here.

Fine.

Thank you.

Art promised the vice presidency to Claypool.

Well, why not have two vice presidents?

It's never been done before, but then this is the party of progress.

I don't find that very funny.

Listen, play along with the old buzzard.

Yes?

Who?

Oh, Mrs. Gamadge.

No, no, I'm not here.

That little bird told you T.T. is going to be vice president.

We had sort of counted on you, Mrs. Gamadge.

Why not?

The hand that rocks the cradle and all that.

Will the convention please be in order?

Today is the big day. At noon, balloting begins to choose the candidate

who will almost certainly also become the president of the United States.

William Russell is in the lead, but all our information suggests

he does not have the 761 votes needed to win on the first ballot,

assuming that the favorite sons hold fast, as they're expected to do.

What do we want? Freedom!

Where? What do we want? Freedom!

When? Now!

What do we want? Freedom!

Where? Now!

What do we want? Freedom!

Where? What do we want? Freedom!

Hi, Dick. I'm on my way to the convention.

What's this rumor about Bill not being all right?

Our usual Cantwell smear.

Well, you'd better get busy.

I'm having a tough time holding my boys in line.

We'll make it on the second ballot. That's a promise.

Well, Harvey, nice to see you.

Hello, how are you?

How are you, Senator?

Now, you vote for my Joe now.

Of course, I will.

What are you up to?

I'm just chaperoning the girls.

Well, Governor, how are you?

Mrs. Gingrich, how are you doing?

Today's the big day.

Take it easy, honey. It's a lot of work.

I don't like what Joe's doing. It's just plain dirty.

It's a public service. I read those reports on him.

How are you, Mayor?

Oh, how are you, gentlemen? Nice to see you.

Today's the big day, isn't it?

Thank you.

Well, I'm a loyal party worker, and the women are solidly behind Bill Russell.

Under him is their more usual position.

It's sex, sex, sex, morning, noon, and night with Bill Russell.

And that's just plain immature.

Go with Joe.

Charlie, turn that thing down, will you, please?

We're okay on the first.

Okay? We haven't got Merwin, we haven't got Anderson,

even that ape Claypool is sitting tight.

Mr. Merwin, delegation?

They've got to hold tight on the first, but on the second, we'll get T.T.

I don't trust him.

Oscar Anderson has just announced he's in the race to the end.

Damn, damn.

Okay, there's still Merwin. We can still make a deal for vice president.

We didn't have any luck last night.

Neither did Hockstader, as far as we know.

What did we get in the final on Merwin?

Nothing.

There must be something we can use to shake him up.

Don, we've got to release that psychiatric report.

I wouldn't, Joe.

Of course you wouldn't. That's why you're a loser and I'm not.

At least wait until after the first ballot.

All right, let's sweat out the first ballot and get that stuff ready.

It's ready.

One mimeographed copy to each delegate, all neatly bound.

Don, I'm sorry what I said just now about being a loser.

It's true.

Nothing's easier.

Nothing good.

I'm with you, Bill, all the way.

I just wanted to come down here and tell you so myself.

I appreciate that, D.T.

Now, of course, on the first ballot, I've got to hold.

My people sent me out here as a favorite son and I cannot betray that trust.

But on the second ballot, I'll switch to you.

That's a promise, a solemn promise.

Thanks, D.T.

Hey, you stay out of trouble and try not to be making so many inflammatory statements about integration

like that crazy idea of yours of a Negro in the cabinet.

I promise only to quote Abraham Lincoln.

Lincoln started the Civil War. I hope you're less ambitious.

Well, bye now.

Governor, nice to see you.

Thank you, Dick. You take care of yourself over at home.

Come back now. You're on the other way.

Did you get him?

Second ballot, so he says.

So he says.

You may have to pull a Nixon.

What does pulling Nixon mean?

Go on television. Weep on the nation's shoulder.

With two cocker spaniels.

Tell them I'm not crazy? No.

I admit it's possible to look directly into a camera and persuade the people.

I won't steal their money, but I promise you, Dick,

you can't look a camera in the face and say,

I'm not crazy. I just had a nervous breakdown,

the way any regular fellow might.

That wouldn't work.

Why not? Because it won't.

Even if it did, I couldn't do it. I might laugh.

It's too idiotic.

Well, there he is, our candidate.

I'm the 50th ballot.

No, no, things don't look that black.

T.T. come to see you?

Yes, we agreed. All colored people are highly musical,

with wonderful white teeth,

but essentially children who never telephone

when they aren't coming to work.

Well, who wound him up this morning?

Not I, said the campaign manager.

71 seconds to address.

Record still stands at 58 and a half.

Bill, I just heard that head doctor of yours in town.

He's preparing a statement to the effect that we're not crazy.

Well, even so, those big words like maniac mania

sound pretty scary to the average person.

Anybody's case history sounds scary?

The South candidate for sheriff once got elected

by claiming his opponent's wife was a thespian.

Excuse me.

I want to thank you for those three vice presidents

you got me last night.

Two and a half.

Marvin's on the fence, he's holding tight.

Ever since Joe started spreading those little hints of his,

they're all waiting.

Joe made a bleeding...

This is Sheldon Bascom.

Who the hell is Sheldon Bascom?

Oh, how are you?

Excuse me, sir.

It's all right.

I never thought I'd meet a president.

My hands sweat.

I'm a little nervous, I guess.

I just now came in from Wilmington, where I live.

Outside Wilmington's actually where I live.

It's a little suburb.

Dick, what have you been up to?

Mr. Bascom was in the army with Joe Cantwell.

In the army?

Well, now we're getting somewhere.

What was it?

Was he a member of the Communist Party?

Of the Ku Klux Klan?

Or did he run the other way when the guns went off?

Well, sir...

Mr. President, sir,

we weren't anywheres around where there were guns.

They were both in the Aleutians,

the island of Adak, quartermaster corps.

We were there a year.

Oh, well, maybe more like 18 months for me,

and oh, maybe 16, 17 months for Joe.

And, well, you see, he came there February 43,

and I got there...

I'm sorry, Mr. Bascom, I'm afraid we're not interested.

Bill, let's hear the dirt, whatever it is.

Well, uh...

Joe, uh...

I sure hate talking about him.

I mean, telling something so awful.

I had a line on this months ago and finally tracked it down.

Go on, tell him, Mr. Bascom.

Well...

Joe Cantwell was, uh,

the captain and I was the captain.

And, uh...

Joe Cantwell was, uh...

Well, you know how it is, sir,

sometimes when...

when there's all those...

all those men together,

and, uh...

and...

No female companionship?

That's right, that's right.

Although we had some nurses later on,

not enough to make much difference.

And, uh...

Well, it was just, uh...

I mean, there were all those men...

And no women.

Come on, Dick, stop it, will you?

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

I know, Joe, it's not like that.

I find this very interesting.

Now, Mr. Bascom,

I should say Captain Bascom,

as a major, actually,

I was promoted just before my discharge in 1946.

And, uh...

I'm in the reserve,

the inactive reserve,

but if there's another war,

I'll be the...

Major Bascom!

Do I understand,

by the way you are slowly beating around the bush,

that Joe Cantwell was what

we used to call,

when I was a boy,

a degenerate?

Yes, sir, Mr. President, sir.

That's just what I mean.

I don't believe it.

No man with that awful wife and those ugly children

would be anything but normal.

Bill, whether you believe it or not is beside the point.

And even if it's true, so what?

Bill, I too am a tolerant man.

I personally do not care if Joe Cantwell

enjoys carnal knowledge of a McCormick reaper,

but I do care about finding a way to stop him cold.

Look here, Art, I'm the one who's running for president.

As for you, Dick...

Bill, will you at least listen to this man?

No.

I'm beginning to wonder

if I'm on the wrong team.

Perhaps you are. Perhaps you'd be happy with Cantwell,

helping him throw his mud.

Sorry.

Bill, as a favor to an old man in his sunset years,

just listen to Major Bascom.

That's all. Just listen.

All right.

I'll listen.

As a favor to a friend.

That's fine.

You know, how often does a million dollars drop into your lap?

Not to mention the presidency.

Major Bascom,

you just sit right down here.

Make yourself comfortable.

And tell us your story,

omitting no details,

no matter how sordid.

Pennsylvania!

State of Pennsylvania casts its 81 votes for William Russell.

Here goes Pennsylvania.

And the first ballot.

Now we start to play rough.

Hello, Don.

Joe.

Hello, Don.

Pennsylvania went for Russell.

Yeah, I saw it.

Get ready to pass out that stuff on Russell.

Okay. When?

Just as soon as the ballot's over.

During the recess?

During the recess.

We're ready.

Swell.

Well, that does it for me, Joe.

I'm with you all the way.

You won't regret it, T.T.

You know I'm looking forward to running with you.

T.T.,

I think we make a pretty swell team.

But about this integration business...

You don't have to worry about my administration.

And that's a promise.

Nice thing about you, Joe,

is that you can sound like a liberal,

but at heart you're an American.

Hi, T.T.

How are you?

I'll get it, honey.

I had the nicest chat with your lovely wife, Lorene.

Who? Dick Jensen?

Just a minute.

This is it, honey. They're giving up.

Well, I've got to go.

See you in the White House, Joe.

Hi, Dick. How's the boy?

Fine. Just fine.

Well, Dick, I don't see how I can delay it much longer.

I told everybody right after the first ballot,

which won't be long.

Do I know who?

Sheldon Bascom?

No, I don't think...

From where?

Tell her I said it.

Tell her I want to see him right away.

Right now.

Right after the first ballot.

John?

Yes, Joe.

What did he say to you?

Hold that stuff.

I said hold it!

What's the matter, Joe?

Get up here right away.

Okay.

Come on, what did he say?

What's he doing to you?

It's not...

Mr. Bascom, I want to thank you.

I know all this must be as distasteful to you as it's been to us.

Well, yes, it was.

Peggy, my wife, oh, she was fit to be tied

when I said I'd talk to Mr. Jensen,

who was coming over here to see you.

Yes.

Of course, she knew the whole story.

I tell her everything.

Wait in my office, Mr. Bascom.

That's the second room across the hall.

Thank you, Mr. Jensen.

Certainly.

Well, I...

I guess this is...

about the...

the biggest moment in my life

meeting you, Mr. President, sir.

Yes, I expect this is the biggest moment in your life, Major.

You may have changed history.

Excuse me for not getting out.

Well, I'll say one thing.

I certainly never thought back in 44

when old Joe Cantwell and I were on ADAC

that 20 years later we would be here in this hotel

with him running for president

and me... me talking to you, sir,

who I always admired so...

And I... I...

Though I didn't vote for you the second time.

You see, Mrs. Bascom, Phil...

Let your vote, Major Bascom, remain between you and your God.

Many thanks, Mr. Bascom. Many thanks.

I'll see you in a few minutes.

Thank you.

Wonderful seeing you.

Let's cross the hall.

Bill.

We've done it.

We've stopped Joe Cantwell.

I just spoke to him. He wants to see you during the recess.

And you told him I would see him?

I had to.

Well, then you talk to him. I won't.

This is exactly the sort of thing I wanted politics to stop.

All the business of gossip instead of issues.

Personalities instead of policies.

We've got enough on Cantwell's public life to defeat him

without going into his private life, which is nobody's business.

Any more than yours is?

Any more than mine is.

Cantwell is using your private life.

All the more reason I don't use his. I'm not Cantwell.

Well, no one's used anything yet.

Jensen.

See if you can arrange a meeting where nobody can see them.

Go on.

Now.

I won't do it.

You have to.

Do what?

You've got the stuff to stop Cantwell.

Only your lily-livered husband won't go through with it.

Well, you mean you can keep them from bringing up all that mental business?

Maybe.

Definitely.

Well, then do it.

Listen to her, Bill. She don't run from a fight.

You know I'm not afraid.

Then why are you hesitating this time?

I'm not being righteous and I do want to win, but how can I in any conscience use a thing like this even against Cantwell?

What would happen if you had to make a quick decision in the White House

and maybe all our lives depended on whether you could act fast and you just sat there

having a high old time with your divided conscience?

I'm not divided. I know what I should do and this is not it.

Then you don't want to be king of the castle, so stay away from us.

Be a saint on your own time because you ain't fit to lead anybody.

Why? Because I won't shoot off a cannon to kill a bug?

Because I don't have that mindless reflex you confuse with strength?

Don't you understand? If I start to fight like Cantwell, I lose all meaning.

If you don't start to fight, you are finished.

Now, I am here to tell you this.

That power is not a toy that we give to good children.

It's a weapon and a strong man takes it and he uses it.

And if you don't go down there and beat Joe Cantwell to the floor with this very dirty stick,

then you've got no business in this big league.

Because if you don't fight, this job is not for you.

And it never will be.

And so...

one by one, these compromises, these small corruptions...

destroy character.

To want power is corruption already.

Dear God, you hate yourself for being human.

No, I only want to be human and it is not easy.

Once this sort of thing starts, there's no end to it, which is why it should never begin.

And if I start...

Well, Art, how does it end, this sort of thing?

Where does it end?

In the grave, son.

Where the dust is neither good nor bad.

Just nothing.

Don't you be alarmed.

But I want you to go over there and pick up that phone and call Dr. Latham.

He is here in the hotel.

Tell him to come quick, through the back way.

And to bring a stretcher.

Because...

I can't move.

Yes, the name is Conyers.

General Conyers, C- O-N-Y-E-R-S.

Yes, this is Senator Cantwell.

Yes, it's an emergency.

Oh no, we can't find him.

But he has to be there.

Well, try his quarters then.

Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it.

Are you sure General Conyers will back you up?

He better.

Well, is there a phone anywhere near there?

He's playing golf.

All right, tell him to call Senator Cantwell as soon as he comes in, in Los Angeles, at the Ambassador Hotel.

Joe, I'm scared to death.

Well, don't be!

Come here, poor Mama Bear.

Now, don't you worry.

Papa Bear isn't going to get shot down this close to that honey tree.

I just don't see how they could use something like that, which is completely untrue,

which is a dirty lie, which everybody knew was a lie, even at the time.

Oh, I hate politics.

Now, listen to me.

We're going to make it.

You hear me? We're going to make it.

So, don't you worry.

Joe?

Be careful, huh?

I'll be careful.

Well, Bill?

Here we are.

The main event, like they say.

The main event.

And here we stand, as Martin Luther said.

Oh, I'm sorry. Sit down.

And it is not safe to move.

Who said that?

Martin Luther said it is not safe to move.

Luther was...

You don't have to tell me who Martin Luther is. I happen to be a Protestant.

A very religious sort of guy, Bill.

Don't have to tell me, Joe.

The time has come for the party to unite behind a candidate.

You? What makes you so sure?

Because I expect you to withdraw because you've got no choice, considering your medical record.

Never defend, always attack.

You're very good at this, Joe. I mean that.

Of course I am, because I was born to it.

I understand the people of this country because I'm one of them.

I think like they do and I'm not afraid to fight for what I believe in.

Nobody ever handed me anything on a silver platter, Bill.

Self-made man with a self-made issue.

Your imaginary communist mafia.

Now I got here is not the question. What matters is I am here.

Now I'm going to question Mr. Sheldon Bascom and you're going to get the surprise of your life, Bill.

Nothing you do ever surprises me, Joe.

But what I do is beginning to surprise me.

Well, then what are you doing down here, then?

What do you got this Joker Bascom standing by for except to smear me as a homosexual, which I'm not.

I never said you were.

I hope you realize you've just practically admitted you don't believe the accusation against me.

That you're openly confessing collusion.

Mr. Chairman, Mr. Chairman, point of order.

Oh, how are they going to keep him down in the Senate after they've been on TV?

Well, that's very funny and very cute, but you haven't...

Well, Mr. Cox said it was right when he said you're not very sensitive to people.

Now, let's get this dirty business over with.

I won't throw my mud if you won't throw your mud.

And let you get nominated on the next ballot?

Well, then, good luck. And may the best man win, assuming we don't knock each other off and the party.

Where's Bascom?

He's waiting in the basement.

Is that the court-martial testimony?

Okay.

Let's go.

Hi, Shelly. How's the boy?

Long time, no see.

Yeah, Joe, long time.

Hello again, Mr. Russell.

Joe wants to ask you a few questions.

Well, I really... I ought to be getting back to Wilmington. You see my wife...

Oh, you live in Wilmington, huh? Great town, Wilmington.

You used to have some cousins there named Everly.

Maybe you knew them. Bill and Ellen Everly, they were in real estate.

Well, it's not actually Wilmington proper. It's a suburb where Peggy and I live.

And I don't... I don't think I know anybody named, uh...

...Everly.

Shelly, you look fine.

Just fine.

Why, so do you, Joe.

I uh, I thought, Mr. Russell, that I wouldn't have to...

To see your old buddy?

Oh, you know I would have been fit to be tied if I'd known

Shelly Bascomb from Adak was in town and hadn't bothered to look me up.

Well, I... I know how busy you are.

Both you men are, you know, running for this... this president thing.

And... I was just... passing by.

And you thought you'd pause long enough to smear your old buddy, huh?

Oh, Joe, don't get mad at me.

I mean, it was... it was my duty.

To get even with me for seeing you were passed over for promotion because of incompetence.

Always a good idea to start with a motive.

Is this true?

Well, no, not really. I mean, my efficiency report...

And he found an army records unsatisfactory.

I was the adjutant and I personally stopped his transfer and his promotion and he knew it.

Now, what happened to those 28 officers and men who were named at the court-martial?

Well, they were all separated from the service. Section 8, we call it.

For the good of the service, they were all kicked out.

All except one.

That's right. All except you.

And why wasn't I?

Well, I...

I don't know.

I suppose it's in the records or something.

But I know.

I thought then, what a lot of people thought,

Joe must have pulled some pretty fancy wires to save his neck.

Yes, sir.

Boy, he was an operator, all right.

He could get out of anything and that's the truth.

Anyway, it's all right there, right at that court-martial.

He was one of them named under oath by Lieutenant Fenn.

Where's Lieutenant Fenn now?

He's dead.

That's right. He died after the war in that plane crash.

You remember the one, how did you try that freak one where the lightning hit the engine?

You were innocent. Why did Fenn name you?

Because I was the one that turned him in.

You turned him in?

That's right, Shelley.

When I found out what was going on, I went to Conyers and told him what I discovered about my roommate.

He laid a trap for Fenn, Fenn fell into it.

And at the trial, I gave secret evidence.

And that's why Fenn named me in revenge.

And that's why no evidence or action was ever or could ever be taken against me.

I even got promoted on the streak of having helped clear that type out of the command.

Can you prove this?

This clown wouldn't know, but I'm surprised at you, Bill, for not doing your homework,

for not checking with a certain Colonel Conyers, now General Conyers in Colorado.

I talked to him a few minutes ago. He said he'd back me up in every way.

Here's his phone number.

He's expecting a call from you, Bill.

And now, Shelley Baskin, if you ever say another word about this to anybody,

I'll have you up for libel. In fact, I'll involve you in that whole mess on A-Day.

I bet he's with you.

Don't you bully me. Don't you try to intimidate me.

Sorry to disappoint you, Bill. This won't work.

I'm covered on every side.

Go ahead, call Conyers. If you don't believe me, you've got his number.

You're worse than a liar.

You have no sense of right or wrong, only what'll work.

No, this is going to work.

You're not going to use that now?

Oh, yes, yes. I'll use anything against you. I can't let you be president.

All right, Bill. It's your funeral.

Against me, you haven't got a chance.

What's this all about?

Joe?

Hey, Joe.

Hi, Don.

What's Russell up to? What's this all about? What's he got on you?

You know what he said?

He said I'm not sensitive to other people's feelings, that I'm not a very good judge of character.

Is that why he wanted to see you? To give you a lecture?

Yeah, pretty much.

I got news for him. I'm a very good judge of character.

You can get that stuff out on Russell now. One copy to every delegate.

Don, we're home free.

Sixty-eight votes for Russell. Forty-six votes for Capitol.

It certainly looks like a standoff from down here, Howard.

There is Nick Jensen, Mr. Russell's campaign manager.

Mr. Jensen, Mr. Jensen, how is it going, sir?

How do you think it's going? Oh, we're holding our own.

And Senator Cantwell, sir?

He can't get it on this ballot, excuse me.

Do you expect to get in the Anderson or Merwin votes?

Yes, I do.

Has the health issue hurt, would you say?

Mr. Russell is in excellent health.

Mr. Jensen, there is a rumor, sir, that Pennsylvania may go for Cantwell on this ballot.

If that happens, he can win.

Pennsylvania is still pledged to us. Excuse me.

Thank you, sir.

That was William Russell's campaign manager.

As you can see, Pennsylvania is the key, the keystone statement.

Oh, we practically won. We're in the bag.

You're not.

I know.

Do the right thing.

I mean this thing on Russell.

Exactly.

It's the dirtiest bit of politics since...

It's a public service.

I don't care what it is if those things about Russell are true.

They're not.

The point is, people think they are.

The point is, we are committed to Russell.

The point is, Cantwell is winning.

We have to focus first.

So let's do it right now.

Right, do it right now. After all, we get Mervyn's support on the next ballot.

They're lying.

You don't have to lie.

By the way, the delegates ought to know that we are suing Joe Cantwell for theft.

And we've got something in reserve.

Something which won't be in reserve gone unless you get out of here.

Oh, you guys can never play it straight, can you?

Okay, we stick for this ballot. Then we caucus.

What the hell is wrong with Russell?

I've got those court-martial papers all ready to go.

Bill says to hold him. He's trying to see Hawksetter.

He feels if he can get a statement from the old man...

A statement from God won't help after this ballot.

What's the matter with him?

He feels...

He feels, he thinks, he sits.

Keen, aggressive leadership.

Pennsylvania!

The state of Pennsylvania casts its 81 votes for William Russell.

Joe! Joe!

Joe, you...

Oh, you're watching?

Yeah, we're a little ahead.

Pennsylvania wants to split, but Lazarus won't let them.

We've got momentum, but we can't win in this ballot.

Okay, I'm coming down there.

Here?

Yeah, I know it's not dumb, but I'm doing it anyway.

Now, you line up the Merwin people and I will personally sew them up.

What about Russell?

Nothing.

Not a peep?

Not a peep.

I was right. No guts.

Boys, we got it made.

Now, I want you to get the files on the Merwin, Anderson and Claypool delegates.

We're gonna twist a few arms.

Right.

Okay Don, this guy Warren. He's in debt to International Tool and Dye. Put the pressure on.

Copeland got an ex-wife. She's willing to make trouble. Cost us maybe a thousand. Get to her.

Ruger, R-U-G-E-R, wants a federal judgeship. Promise it.

Okay, I'll send a wire.

No, not in writing.

Congressman Maynard got a defense contract for his brother-in-law.

How... how's it going?

Don't talk.

You do like I say?

I talked to him.

That's a ticket.

Mr. President, here's the latest ballot.

You wanted to know the votes.

What's the score?

Cantwell, 664.

Russell, 597.

Merwin, 133.

You didn't do it, did you?

I couldn't, Art.

I tried to.

I wanted to. I couldn't.

And...

to hell with both of you.

O'Malley, arrested for car theft in 1927, suspended sentence.

Meyer, named in Liquor Commission scandal, New York City, 1949. Turn the heat on.

Okay, I'll see the Merwin people first, then the Anderson people. Keep pushing.

Go, go, go.

Arizona...

Mr. Chairman, Arizona...

I know it's impossible, but he's here.

He's strong-arming everybody in sight.

The Merwin people are ready to fold.

Fourth ballot is just beginning.

Are we holding our own?

We are holding our own barely.

Cassius, 27 votes...

for the man of opportunity,

Willard.

But listen, you lost more than 120 votes.

Pennsylvania Caucus and Lazarus barely managed to hold it for you.

He says you've got to hit Cantwell hard now.

Wonderful.

Spread the word. Our boy is on his way here. We are about to fight.

It's a strange sort of power to have.

To be able to put an end to Mr. Cantwell's career.

One word from me and Joe Cantwell retires from politics.

Will you say the word?

Would you?

I'm not very good at other people's consciences.

I have a hard enough time with my own.

Whatever you do, I'm sure it'll be right.

Well, pick up nine votes, you.

Five, one on the face.

No, that's not enough. We only have more time.

Joe, Russell is here.

What? That's impossible. Candidates are not supposed to be here.

I know.

Yeah. Come on.

The sovereign state casts its 33 votes for the next president of the United States,

Biden Joe Cantwell.

T.T. Claypool has all the characteristics of a dog except loyalty.

Gentlemen.

Bill.

Hi, Joe. Long time no see.

This just came in.

Mr. Russell, I'm Joe Cantwell. I don't think we've met.

I do, do.

I thought you'd be busy working on your acceptance speech.

Bill, I'm not so sure...

I've been working for months on my acceptance speech,

trying to strike that delicate balance between humility and confidence.

Yeah, well, I can understand that, but...

You, of course, have a gift for hitting the right note.

Well, I'm not so sure I do.

I like the way you always manage to state the obvious with such a sense of, real discovery.

Yeah, well...

Oh, Bill, give me a chance to get in a word edgewise, will you?

Sorry, Joe, I couldn't resist it.

I was using Joe's technique.

Never let the other man get started. Talk right through him.

Of course, when Joe starts a sentence with,

Now, Bill, you know he's up to no good.

Bill, I... You see?

Very funny, very cute.

But this convention is hung up and we may never nominate a candidate.

Believe me, Bill, when I tell you, I've given it serious thought

and I want you on my ticket.

That's very generous of you, Joe, but...

How could I possibly run for vice president

when I'm at this very moment suffering

from one of my frequent nervous breakdowns?

There was no way to keep a report like that secret.

The truth will out, as Art Hockstader would say.

Oh, by the way, he...

died right after you left him.

Now, Bill, with your support...

Will you two get out of here?

We can hold the weight later.

There are a lot of reasons we want you on our ticket, Bill,

and frankly, if I were you, I'd show a little more gratitude.

Gratitude?

Do you realize all I have to do is to call Senator Lazarus?

I solemnly promise to you in front of these witnesses

I'll give you anything.

Vice presidency, secretary of state, anything

if you throw me your votes on that next ballot.

Bill, they're scared. Look at them sweat.

I want a united front for the sake of this party.

We've got him. We've really got him.

Bill, let me call Lazarus.

I wish you would and tell him you'll support me

and take second spot on that ticket.

And tell him to lower the boom on Joe Cantwell.

All right, Dick, get me Senator Lazarus.

Bill, you can't use that stuff on Joe.

Now he's our only hope. He's the party's only hope.

Shut up, Don. Don't worry about Bill.

He always does the right thing.

Thank you.

Senator, brace yourself.

This is it.

Senator, this is William Russell.

I want you to get to the chairman of the next delegation

pledged to me.

Wisconsin.

All right, tell the chairman to announce to the convention

that I have withdrawn from the race.

Bill, no!

Mr. Secretary, you'll never regret this.

And I'm releasing my pledged delegates

with instructions to support Governor John Merwin.

Merwin?

But you can't.

I can and I have.

Merwin's nobody.

Well, he is now somebody.

I don't understand you.

I know you don't.

Because you have no sense of responsibility

toward anybody or anything.

And that is a tragedy in a man

and it is a disaster in a president.

You don't understand me.

You don't understand politics.

You don't understand this country.

The way it is and the way we are.

You're a fool.

27 votes for Kennedy.

You don't even know him, Merwin.

Nobody knows him.

A man without a face.

So was Art when he was nominated.

Men without faces tend to get elected president.

And power or responsibility or personal honor

fill in the features.

Usually pretty well.

Wisconsin!

Mr. Chairman,

I have just been informed by Mr. Russell himself

that he would like his name withdrawn from nomination

Order!

Mr. Chairman,

at the explicit instructions of Mr. Russell,

who urges all his delegates to do the same,

Wisconsin casts its 31 votes

for the next president of the United States,

John Merwin.

John Merwin!

Mr. Chairman!

Mr. Chairman!

Mr. Chairman!

Wyoming casts 15 votes for John Merwin!

The deadlock has been broken.

It looks like all Russell's delegations

are trying to get the attention of the chairman

to switch their votes.

Everybody hustled except Russell.

Disappointed?

Yes.

Seriously?

No.

You did do the right thing.

I think so.

But what about the treaty of suite 674?

Abrogated or...

renewed?

You don't have to stay with me, you know.

I know.

But would you like to, even without the Lincoln bedroom?

Yes.

I'm glad.

But I must warn you,

the fires of autumn burn notoriously low.

Well, I've been cold for such a long time.

Mr. Secretary!

Vice President!

I just want to say that I think Governor Merwin

will make a fine candidate

and I'm going to do everything I can

to see that he is elected in November.

And I am, of course,

happy that the best man won.