Original subtitles

[somber music]

[production crew speaks indistinctly]

CREW 1: All right, this is Jenn and Maya, take eight.

[slate snaps]

[somber music]

CREW 2: Are you ready? JENN: Yeah.

Okay.

MAYA: I don't know how she looked me and my siblings

in the eyes and decided, like, you know,

they're next.

I don't know what her intentions were.

I don't know why she chose us.

But that day, she had made her choice.

It wasn't your fault.

Of course, Mom.

MAYA: I love you.

[music swells]

Elisabeth, unbelievable the way

that you have been tackling this issue

related to mental illness and mental health.

Some of us are in recovery.

Some of us have people, family members,

people that we love and we care about

where it's coming from a personal place,

so we have that insight.

KILEY: After Finch had come back from treatment,

she was very vocal about her own personal experience.

And writing these stories that dealt heavily

with mental illness and trauma.

I mean, she fought cancer. She went public

about sexual assault.

She lost a friend in the Tree of Life

shooting in Pittsburgh.

And everybody was really supportive.

But it felt like whether or not other people had stories,

Finch's was worse, and she had more authority to speak on it.

We actually had a term for it in... in our...

in our room, uh, where we would say,

"We got Finch'd".

And I remember thinking that it almost

felt like a form of control.

[keyboard keys tapping]

[phone ringing tone]

AUTOMATED VOICE: Your call has been forwarded

to an automatic voice message system.

[beep]

FINCH: I was gonna do this seriously,

but then I decided I'm gonna do it in sing-song.

* When I first met my friend Jenn... ifer *

* I could barely hear her voice *

* I had to strain to hear her voice *

* But I saw her *

* I saw her, and saw how cool she was inside **

[serene music]

JENN: After leaving trauma therapy,

I had to go live at the safe house.

[music turns dark]

Brendan, my husband, was really dangerous,

and it was really important that he couldn't find me.

I'm gonna leave here to get you soon.

Don't be frightened. [inhales deeply]

I just need you.

KIM: I knew all the pain that Jenn had gone through

with Brendan.

He just would not leave her alone,

and she was scared

and fearful for herself and for her kids.

I was nervous for her.

JENN: Being on my own at the safe house

was really hard, and I was really struggling.

Finch would message me

all throughout the day, every day.

She told me about places she'd been,

concerts she was getting ready to go to.

She would send me pictures of her and her friends.

And at that time, my priority was getting my kids back.

Can I cut it now?

- He has to make a wish. - He's making a wish.

JENN: I have five children. Maya is my oldest.

[gasps] A ukulele, yay!

Maya's incredible. She's an artist.

Van's a ballet dancer. An amazing ballet dancer.

I might be biased, but...

Lift me! [laughs]

JENN: My little kids

100 percent have my big kids' numbers.

I don't know, they just really love each other

and really care about each other.

My kids are my world. They're everything.

MAYA: Because of the very problematic things going on

with my dad, my mom had been struggling with, uh...

the PTSD of it all. Um...

And so, we were taken into state custody.

JENN: At that time, I'm trying to prove

to the Department of Children and Family

that I'm mentally stable enough to care for my children.

And Finch was supportive because she was asking

about the kids all the time. And...

it felt really good.

[traffic whooshes]

JENN: One night, I saw a post on Facebook.

[suspenseful music]

Brendan posted a picture of a place

that's directly outside of the safe house.

That...

was terrifying.

He obviously knew where I was.

[phone buzzing]

He started sending messages.

Finch wanted to know what was going on with me.

And I told her everything.

[music stops]

And then one day, Finch texts me.

She told me her cancer was in remission.

She's like, "I don't wanna live my life with everybody

worrying about it. I just wanna live."

She's like, "I'll pay for it, don't worry."

So, she flew me to L.A.

[bright music]

As soon as I got off the plane, there she was.

Just as I knew her. She gave me a big hug.

And she just was like, "You made it! See?

See what you can do? You're stronger than you think.

Look what you just did."

And I was like, "Oh, wow, I did."

I was so happy. I felt free.

I felt safe.

And then we drove up to Ojai.

We were listening to Ray LaMontagne.

I mean, Montage. What's his...? LaMontagne?

I don't know what his name is. And she turns on that song

where he's singing about driving down the something highway

there that's very famous, along the ocean.

* Guess I'm never gonna get back to Ojai *

[Jenn laughs]

I see why people escape L.A. to go to Ojai.

[laughs]

We stayed in this beautiful home.

As we're pulling up to the house, there's black cars

and she told me that's her security.

She's famous, so she needs protection.

She put in the code and those big gates opened,

and those big gates closed. And it just felt like...

I'm safe.

I am safe.

[idyllic music]

Everything was new to me.

We took pictures of us at the pool by the house.

We walked around the orange grove.

I felt like I was in some, like, fictional,

fairy tale movie. Like...

But I just had never experienced anything like that.

***

At some point I looked at her and I said,

"I think I... I think I like you.

I think I really like you."

And she was like, "I really, really like you, too."

And then we kissed.

[music turns dark]

[unsettling music]

[keyboard keys clack]

JENN: Finch and I were getting closer.

She was travelling back and forth for work.

So, one day, Finch flew in from California.

I was still living at the women's shelter.

She told me not to worry.

That her security was up the street.

So, I went out to dinner and...

And I worked up the courage to tell my friends

that I had fallen in love.

And what I got is high-pitched screams,

and oh, my God, and just trust it.

[woman speaks indistinctly]

And Jenn, of course, is taking video of this, like...

JENN: Everybody just loved her.

I think we have enough photographic evidence

of us tonight.

WOMAN: The look on your face.

KIM: I think if you just

hear that people are affiliated

with Hollywood or you know,

movie sets and all of that,

you just want to kind of gravitate to them.

But I knew how happy Jenn was,

and it was really nice to be able to see her exhale.

Jenn has not had a good several years,

and I thought she was finally in a good spot with someone.

JENN: I have massive trust issues, so I need honesty,

no matter what.

And Finch was always telling me,

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for you."

And how she'll always be honest with me.

I believed her completely.

[soft music]

FINCH: I am a writer and co-exec producer

on the show. Uh...

I have not accepted that this is what I do full time.

KILEY: By season 16,

Finch is who everybody wants to be.

She's one of the most respected and trusted voices

for the other writers, as well as the show runner.

It still doesn't seem real, but that's my job.

That's what I do all day long.

Finch had been sort of elevated

to a statesman-like position.

And she was basically getting to decide

which ones she wanted to write.

My job is to come up with the storylines,

along with the other team of writers.

Things we'd like to see our characters do.

Things we've never done before.

I have to write at least a minimum of three episodes

on my own throughout the season.

She became the default writer of what we call

the standalone episodes. And since she needed

a lot of time off to deal with her health,

both mental and physical,

she could do it on her own schedule,

on her own time. And Finch got to write

the very big episode saying goodbye

to one of the original "Grey's" doctors.

ALEX: The last thing on Earth I wanna do is hurt you.

But I'm leaving.

I already left, actually.

I'm gone.

Alex Karev was a fan favorite.

ALEX: I'm an okay guy. I'm still trying.

But I'm a really damn good surgeon.

And Finch was determined to...

dig into his colorful past as part of his sendoff.

It almost felt like there was an unlimited source

of personal experiences for Finch to unearth.

ALEX: I got a job and a career I love based on a lie

that no one really cared about, and I made it work.

Now I live on a freaking farm in nowhere, Kansas.

MAYA: I had been staying on a farm with family friends

in Topeka, Kansas.

Uh, and...

that summer is when things started getting really

unsafe with my dad.

I had been fully preparing myself for a long time...

uh...

that my mom was gonna die in some way.

[unsettling music]

My dad started texting and posting things

that were very erratic, and weird, and strange,

and scary.

It just got worse and worse.

[messages buzzing]

JENN: There were very scary posts that were very cruel.

Posting music that was very much about killing.

Along with many messages

of what his delusions are,

what he thought about me. Things like that.

VAN: When I saw my dad,

words would be coming out of his mouth

that would not make, like, any sense.

Something was clearly going on with his mental health.

MAYA: I was so scared that somebody

isn't coming out of this situation alive.

[music swells then fades]

JENN: I really didn't feel safe,

and I needed to get out of Topeka.

So, Finch asked me if I wanted to be flown to L.A.

She said, "I have to work today, but you can relax in my office."

About halfway, I get a call

from the Department of Children and Family

who have custody of my children.

I said, "I'm not in Topeka.

What's going on?" And she just came back with,

"I can't tell you. I need you to come

into the office. Right now."

I know when social workers say,

"I can't tell you over the phone,"

that something really, really, really bad has happened.

And I seriously thought

that Brendan had...

that he'd killed the children.

[music intensifies]

So, I just started yelling, "You have to tell me!

You have to tell me what happened."

The social worker said, "Jenn, the children are safe."

[music stops]

[shaky inhale] But Brendan has taken his life.

[tense music]

And I... I couldn't even feel.

I was just blank.

I called Finch and...

and told her that I needed to get home.

I need to get home now.

When I pulled in to the studio,

Finch came running out the doors straight towards me.

She's like, "Let's get inside. It's gonna be okay.

You're safe and we're gonna take care of you."

KILEY: We were all in our offices and I saw Finch,

with her friend, blow into her office,

like, grabbing things.

There was all this like, agitated talking,

and I was like, "What is going on?"

Finch was like, "This is Jenn

and we just have to go to Kansas.

We're getting on a plane. We're going to the airport

right now." And then they left.

Just felt weird, but I assumed

it had something to do with like,

Finch's cancer treatment.

Later, I'd asked some colleagues like, is she okay?

Like, is she dying? And it was like,

"She's okay.

Her brother's in the hospital.

He tried to kill himself and he's on life support."

[thundering beat]

[gentle music]

This is really crazy.

Her brother who, like, was a doctor

that she didn't talk to, that supposedly abused her.

I couldn't remember, like, where does he live?

Like, why are they going to Kansas for this?

ANDY: Soon after she left, Finch got in contact.

She explained her brother had shot himself.

The doctors said there is some kind of surgical

Hail Mary we could attempt.

KILEY: Afterwards, Finch said because of complications,

it didn't work and that she ended up

pulling the plug on her brother.

[medical machine beeping]

[continuous beep]

She believed that he,

being a doctor, injured himself in a way

that he knew that this could potentially happen.

He had left some sort of note implicating Finch

for the reason that he did that.

It was such a dramatic story that it could have

come straight out of "Grey's Anatomy".

And in fact, we did do an episode many years ago

where Meredith recalled her mother's attempted suicide

under very similar circumstances.

She was a surgeon. She was an excellent surgeon.

If she was really trying to kill herself,

she wouldn't have slit her wrists.

She knew better. She would have taken

the scalpel and cut her carotid artery.

I never thought, "I don't think this is true"

necessarily, but I did think it can't be this much.

But then, I sort of put two and two together

and assumed, like, it's because of the abuse,

and she confronted him about it, and like, this is so painful

and horrible, and like, oh, my God,

why is someone this evil that they would do this

to someone? Especially their sister.

It was wild and I know it's completely out there

and seems unbelievable,

um, but we were so primed to believe

that if bad shit is gonna happen,

it's gonna happen to Finch.

[unsettling music]

MAYA: I was at school

and one of the school counselors walk in.

I see this, like, look in her eyes,

and it's not good.

And something in my head is like,

"Oh, she's here for me."

VAN: I get pulled outta class.

I see my sister and I think,

"Oh no, something really bad happened."

[music intensifies]

We need to tell you that your father completed

a suicide attempt today.

And I was like, "Completed, what do you mean by completed?"

"He committed suicide."

I just st... I just...

I stared at the floor for probably 20 minutes.

I was like, numb.

That's my dad. He's dead and he's gone,

and but also, now that he's gone,

he's no longer a threat. We're not in danger anymore.

The war is over.

[music brightens]

VAN: The day my dad took his life,

we were allowed to go stay with my mom

at the apartment that she was staying in at the time,

for a couple days.

So, my mom came and uh, picked us up.

We got in the car and she's like,

"I have something to tell you."

My mom said it was supposed to be like, set up,

in a way that was more organized than this,

but I met somebody.

She's like, "She's here, and-and I...

And I want you to meet her, but you don't have to

if you don't want to."

[sighs]

And that's when I met Finch.

JENN: Her meeting the kids that way was very... hard.

Didn't wanna do it like this.

But I really needed support.

And I was very touched

that Finch wanted to be there

in the worst part of their lives.

VAN: She was trying her best to be respectful.

I got along with her relatively quickly.

Like, three days in, I already felt like

I knew her for a long time.

You know, I kinda just started opening up

'cause I felt safe around her.

I was just in so much shock and I was just happy

to be in a place that felt safe. And I was just happy to be

with my mom.

We spent the rest of the weekend together

going to parks, and movies,

and eating pizza and ice cream.

Anything the kids asked for, Finch was like,

"Your dad just died. Your wish is my command."

We all slept on the living room floor

in a big cuddle puddle.

I was thinking to myself, gee, I really hope

that this is somebody my mom's serious about,

because I'm gonna look back on this day and remember it.

And she's gonna be in the shot.

And if she's not someone who's gonna stick around,

then she's just gonna be an emotional photobomber

in this moment.

[gentle music]

ANDY: Finch just came back to work and I thought,

she's gone through so much.

You know, she's coping, and-and she's finding a way

to make sense out of situations

that don't seem like they often make sense.

KILEY: She was always encouraged to stay out

as long as she needed. But she always liked

to come back sooner, and really play the part

of the hero who was making sacrifices for work.

I was just like this poor, poor person.

Long-suffering person.

And so, when she was nominated for the Sentinel Award

for the episode "Silent All These Years".

Are you ready?

It involved the wall of women

as people wheeled the patient down.

And it was really beautiful. I mean, it was so well deserved.

KILEY: The Sentinel Awards are designed to honor shows

that tackle really tough issues as Grey's Anatomy

historically has.

Then he started kissing me.

And touching me.

And I said, "No." And continued to say no.

In the episode, Jo had flashbacks

to meeting her mother and learning that she

had been conceived in rape.

Nine months later, I had a baby.

I had never confronted Finch about my story

becoming part of that episode.

So, I tried not to make a big deal out of it.

JENN: At that time, I hadn't seen the episode.

She he had told me don't watch it.

It's extremely triggering.

But I was so excited for her to be recognized.

MAYA: Finchie says like, "Can I tell her?"

And my mom's like, "Sure, yeah, tell her."

She's like, "Well, uh, I write for Grey's Anatomy."

And the teenage girl in me,

my jaw dropped and I was like, "What?!

You write for what show? No!"

I had seen every episode up until that point.

I was starstruck.

JENN: And I was so excited that I was going to a red carpet

event with Finch.

We were out shopping for things for the day.

We get all dressed up.

I don't think I've ever been that dressed up

except for prom, so... [laughs]

[crowd cheering]

[camera shutters snapping]

When we got there,

there was a lot of famous people there.

Of course, I didn't know who they were,

but there was a lot of them.

We walk into this huge ballroom

and I'm sitting next to the main actresses

like Camilla Luddington.

At one point, Finch had said "girlfriend,"

and Camilla was like, "Girlfriend?

She's your girlfriend?"

Here to accept the award is co-executive producer

and writer, Elisabeth Finch.

[crowd cheers]

It was quite moving to me.

I hope everyone gets to work in a land like Shonda's,

where the women in our stories are not abused, or raped,

or body dropped for sport or a good scare,

or punishment for walking in the world as they are.

- [applause] - And then at the end

of her speech, she says...

I feel hopeful and extremely grateful. Thank

you, especially to Jenn, who is the bravest human I know.

[applause]

I'm like, wow, okay.

I was very, very, very touched that she would do that.

[tense music building]

[inhales and exhales deeply]

It's always nice when our show gets acknowledged,

and I was happy for her,

but of course, there was a part of me

that felt like she had won an award

based partly on, um, on my story.

[gentle instrumental music]

JENN: I had been away from the kids for almost a year.

But while we were in L.A., finally I got the phone call

that the kids would be coming home for good.

I'm getting my kids back.

They're gonna be home for Thanksgiving.

[scoffs]

I hadn't been back to the house since I left Brendan.

And the social worker needed to do her walkthrough

and approve.

But when I got there...

everything, it was destroyed.

[somber music]

Before he had taken his own life,

Brendan had trashed the house.

It was horrible. It was absolutely...

horrible.

It felt like he has control from the grave.

I just felt Brendan everywhere.

I wanted help. I needed help.

[keyboard keys clacking]

KILEY: Finch sent an email to a bunch of the producers

here in L.A. telling us that this woman

was in an abusive marriage.

Reading that, my heart just broke for her.

I mean, I can't... You just felt sick.

KILEY: She was saying, if anyone has any money

to help them get out of this situation,

like, send it here.

And we all thought it was really amazing

of Finch to step up and help a friend out that was in need.

JENN: It was gonna cost a lot of money,

and people raised money to make this work.

So, I decided that... [sighs]

...we're gonna take it back and we're gonna make it our own.

[stirring emotional music]

[tools whirring]

Finch flew in from California

so she could be there.

And so many people from the community collaborated.

KIM: We cleaned, we painted,

we threw away just tons and tons of stuff.

She just didn't want anything that reminded her

of what she had gone through with Brendan.

JENN: Everybody was just in awe that Finch would be there

to help clean up all this mess.

[music fades]

My kids came home and they were so happy. So happy.

VAN: It was definitely nice coming back to my childhood home

and seeing my family in the context

I'm used to seeing them in.

JENN: Everybody couldn't wait for Van to see the big mirrors

in the ballet room.

Holy cow! It's... Oh, my God!

- CHILD: Yeah. - What?

Yeah, this is what I wanted to do.

This is the greatest day of my life, pretty much, yeah.

Like, five minutes after we got in, I like,

threw my shoes off and started doing turns.

And my brothers were just like, jumping around.

[emotional instrumental music]

JENN: Getting my kids back was one of the best gifts

a mother could ever receive.

MAYA: I was just happy to be with my mom

and that we were all together.

It was... it was a really good moment.

[music fades]

That night, I'm sitting on the porch and Finch is like,

"Gee, I'm kinda sad."

She's like, "Well, I'm sad for you.

You know, you're going through a rough time.

But I'm missing the Emmys."

[crowd cheering]

She said, "I was supposed to get one,

and I turned it down.

It was a red carpet event and everyone's texting

and asking me where I am."

And then she started crying.

But she said, "There's no place I'd rather be

than here with you. But I...

I'm supposed to be there right now."

And so, I made a little funny dance video.

I'm doing a victory dance for you!

[laughing]

I was trying to just cheer her up.

FINCH: You're a nut and I love you for it.

'Cause I was just so grateful that this person wanted to...

be there and-and help us.

INTERVIEWER: Okay, um... was she ever nominated for an Emmy?

Not to my knowledge.

Yeah, no, no talk of an Emmy.

Did she tell people there were?

[curious music]

KILEY: Finch was never nominated for an Emmy.

I remember the day that the nominations came out.

The... the vibe from Finch was very much like...

"I've lost something."

This next year's going to... I don't know

if it's gonna be the last year for Grey's. No one knows.

I know this, that next year is the last season for me.

[sniffles]

KILEY: Like a lot of ambitious writers,

especially once they reach the co-executive producer level,

Finch was really trying to make her own projects happen.

She had told me that she was working on a show

with Debbie Allen, who was our producing director.

Kind of as a brag.

The show was about a kid who was a ballet dancer.

[keys clack]

[Van grunts]

And given Debbie's history with dance,

it made sense for them to work on that together.

Finch told me that was inspired by one of Jenn's kids.

It was interesting, though,

because a big part of her humor

was about not wanting to be around kids.

But Finch definitely would do whatever it takes to get ahead.

[music distorts eerily]

MAYA: Day after Thanksgiving, I was sitting downstairs

with the boys, watching TV,

and then I hear this excited shriek.

And Mom rushes downstairs

and she's got a ring on her finger.

And she's like, "She proposed! She proposed!

We're gonna get married!"

VAN: My initial thought was I've only known this person

for about four weeks now.

I did enjoy her being around

and I felt comfortable and safe around her,

and I'd started telling her things that I would only

tell Mom.

It was all happening so fast.

And now it's marriage and,

and we're gonna be a family. And... ah.

JENN: Everything was moving quickly.

But at the time, it was intoxicating.

I was in love.

VAN: Mom seemed happy, so I was happy.

I felt good about her marrying my mom

because if something happened to my mom,

we wouldn't end up back in foster care,

we'd have somebody who was our next of kin.

[music from the "Nutcracker" plays]

The Nutcracker's been something that...

Van has been in since he was, I think, four.

It's a huge, huge deal.

And this year, he had a really big role.

So, I decided we're gonna throw this big party.

Our house was full of people.

Everybody was having just a really great time.

And then later that afternoon is when Finch got sick.

She was complaining that she knew she had a kidney stone

because she'd had 'em before.

And that's a big concern

because she had told me she only had one functioning kidney

because chemotherapy had destroyed the other.

So, I was really worried about her.

KILEY: When I first started working with Finch,

I heard through the cloud of...

of rumors that she lost a kidney because of the chemo.

And her good friend, Anna Paquin,

is giving her a kidney.

I remember being like, wow, I had no idea

that they were that close.

What a selfless move. Like, this is amazing.

MARK: But Finchie hinted very strongly

that Anna Paquin didn't want anyone else to know about it.

When she went to get her surgery,

Finchie had a friend

texting people at Grey's

about how the surgery was going, on Finchie's phone.

We heard the actual kidney operation

was very touch and go,

to the point where some of the writers

told me that Shonda was crying the night that...

of the operation, because she felt that Finch might die.

INTERVIEWER: Did Finch ever tell you

she had a kidney transplant?

No. [scoffs]

No. [laughs]

I didn't know anything about a kidney transplant.

She didn't have a scar.

I'm a nurse. But I'm not a nephrologist.

And the story I got is she had one functioning kidney.

So, anyway, everybody is worried about her.

Just like, how is she? What's going on?

She's like, "I can do this. It's fine."

I was like, "You need to be seen.

This is serious. You're in pain.

I'm going with you." So, we left.

She did not want me to go to the hospital with her,

but I insisted on going.

Once we arrived at the hospital,

to locate her pain,

the doctor's tapping down her back.

And usually, if you have a kidney stone,

once they get to a certain location, you're ready to like,

knock the lights outta the doctor for doing that.

She's saying it hurts, but it doesn't get

any worse or change.

Wow, she must have a really high pain tolerance.

[machine whirs]

So, he is like, we're gonna get you into CT scan.

And put you in the donut of truth.

After the scan, it wasn't long before the doctor came back

and...

he looked straight at me, and plural,

used the word, "Her kidneys look fine."

And I thought it was strange

that he'd used the word "kidneys".

[tense music]

But when you love somebody...

you'll ignore red flags

'til they're hittin' ya in the head.

[gentle music]

KILEY: We were at a table read with the whole cast

and somebody said like, "Where's Finch?"

And Krista said, "Um, I guess I can say this now,

Finch is marrying a woman and moving to Kansas."

And it was like... uh.

It was such a shock,

but I guess when you think you're gonna die

at any given moment, you know,

if you fall in love with someone, you just go for it.

When I found out Jenn was getting married,

I was happy for her.

I was really hoping this would be a good move for her.

[blissful instrumental music]

JENN: We all walked down to the ocean

and then Finch was like, "Let's just go get in!"

[chuckles]

[Finch and Jenn laugh]

And so, we're in our dresses,

and it turned out there was a massive current.

We all almost drowned. [laughs]

Didn't matter what we'd been through.

We both wanted to start over and experience joy together.

WOMAN: Finchie, Jenn, you just got married.

How do you feel?

- Amazing. - Really bruised, and tired,

and amazing. [laughs]

And Finch made me believe that the kids were as important

to her as I was.

Just reassuring me, like, "I am taking care of these kids

for the rest of their life, and they're my kids."

And that felt really good.

[eerie music]

ANDY: It was strange for me because one of the things

we bonded over...

This is gonna make me seem great,

is how we didn't ever wanna have kids.

Finch and I had this joke that whenever it's Halloween,

the bosses would say like, anybody who has kids can go home

at you know, three for trick-or-treating,

and then we're like, "So, we just have to stay and work?

I guess it doesn't apply to us 'cause we're not valuable."

And she's like, just 'cause you had a kid,

like we, your life is worth more than if you didn't have a kid?

I'd never heard her once say,

"I sure wish I could have a family,"

or, "I sure wish I could have kids."

KILEY: When Finch moved to Kansas,

what was stranger than how fast it was happening,

the fact that they met in like PTSD recovery,

was that she's moving to adopt the children.

FINCH: Yellow? Um...

That's not, that's...

[laughing]

Aw, I can't lose my half by way of hopping!

[children shouting happily]

The kids loved her.

FINCH: If there's one thing I'm good at,

it's making robots out of Magna-tiles.

- If this had gone in order... - [Jenn laughs]

...it would, you would be able to guess your present.

But how will you learn to prey it in...

play it in the present?

MAYA: When Finchie moved in our house,

it was a really good time.

MAYA: What is this? [laughs]

We were doing things together and having a lot of fun.

[gasps] A ukulele!

Yay! This is so great. Oh my gosh.

JENN: To celebrate our new life,

Maya painted seven finches on the porch mural,

all cuddling together.

'Cause we were all gonna start over.

We were gonna be the Finch Family.

[Maya singing happily]

MAYA: She very much made me feel like she was there

to make our lives better. That from that day on,

no more hard days.

You know, we were in love with her.

[inhales and exhales sharply]

REPORTER 1: We're gonna begin here with the outbreak

of a mystery virus in China.

REPORTER 2: Concerns about coronavirus

have led to shutdowns of places where people gather.

REPORTER 3: Stay at home. That is the order tonight

from four state governors,

as the coronavirus pandemic spreads.

FINCH: We're having a lot of trouble right now,

on an emotional level, that we're not together.

So, a week from now, the writers

are going to all get together on Zoom

and start planning this next season.

JENN: Finch decided that she needed to work from her office

across the alley, right next door.

I would make food.

Then the kids would run it over to her office,

'cause she wasn't coming home anymore.

She was like, "I have to work. I have to work. I have to work."

KILEY: On Zoom, it didn't feel like Finch was super happy.

It seemed like she was very tight-lipped

when she was on those meetings.

MAYA: I knew there was something up with her.

I think she was really struggling to adapt

to the family life. That parenting was hard for her.

That being a part of this was something

that she was struggling to adjust to.

JENN: I was alone a lot.

I think homeschooling got to my hair today.

Homeschooling kids, taking care of kids.

[dark music]

Finch was working all the time.

MAYA: Finchie would leave for work around 8 a.m.

Get home at 8 p.m.

She was never there. And she just ignored us.

ANDY: I started to see that Finch's schedule

became strange.

She told me Jenn is in a really rough place,

and uh, needs some time.

So I gotta take care of the kids.

[children chattering]

If Finch needed an extension on a deadline,

we were happy to accommodate her.

KILEY: We had done it before for Finch, countless times

when she had to get chemo, or she had to go into treatment.

So, yeah, we'll write her script on the last minute.

Like, we'll do whatever.

They would have to sort of all team up,

and you know write the episode she was going to do.

When you write an episode of Grey's Anatomy,

you might get paid say, $40,000 to write that episode.

But for all the years that it repeats in syndication,

you're going to make another two or $300,000.

But of course, the money for that episode

was going to go Finch. It was her name on it.

Our spouses might not have been as happy about

us willingly doing it, but um,

yeah, we never thought twice about it.

It just seems like Finch is family,

Finch needs help, let's do it.

[music fades]

MAYA: Towards the end of my senior year,

you know, the vaccines were rolling out.

Things were getting a lot safer.

People were just going out in public with masks on.

And I was like I could... maybe I could go back to school.

But Finch wouldn't get the vaccine right away.

Like, even when it rolled out for chronically ill people.

And she was like, "No, I just, I don't want to right now."

So, I was not allowed to go to school

and I was quarantining. I missed my senior year. Oh.

FINCH: Please read it out loud.

Okay.

I missed my friends. I missed my teachers.

"Maya. Happy birthday, Maya.

You've turned 18.

Right in the middle of this quarantine.

We'd throw you a party, but it might get you sick."

But I stayed home because I didn't wanna kill her.

Okay.

And she had expressed that "COVID will kill me."

But at the same time, Finch would leave for weekends

to go write at a hotel, 'cause she needed her space.

FINCH: I have to take all the stuff outta here

and I have to leave this.

Having to be at home,

all the time, every single day, was hell.

JENN: As lockdown continued,

Finch's triggers from the Tree of Life Synagogue

shooting became really intense.

If there was gunshots on the TV,

all of us would be like, oh, turn it down. Turn it down.

Or turn it off, or don't watch this,

because it would trigger Finch.

MAYA: She had been traumatized because of the terrorist attack.

[unsettling music]

JENN: When Finch is triggered, she goes into shutdown mode

where she can't do anything,

she needs to get in bed. She's nauseated.

She wanted a whole lot of me.

But not the children.

CHILD: Watch my little ears!

MAYA: And then month to month, there was some sort of crisis

that she was having.

JENN: I started noticing a pattern for her.

It's like, other people are getting attention,

so Finch is triggered.

She needs the attention on her.

She needs the care.

And then I realized, there's something going on there

and things are not matching up.

[rain pattering]

So, one day, a new trigger comes up for her

which is rainy days.

[siren wailing]

And it's because she says it was rainy

the day she had to clean up the bodies in Pittsburgh.

And the rainy days just started to trigger her.

[thunder rumbles]

I looked at her and I said, "Well, that's interesting.

You didn't have problems with rainy days before."

And then when she's like, "What are you talking about?"

And I said, "You had no problem with rain any other time."

[tense intensifies]

Even when you know something,

you still kind of hope that you're wrong.

I just, I need to know the truth.

[music fades]

I had started looking at her Facebook,

Twitter, and Instagram.

Comparing her stories to what she's told me

and what she's posting online.

[gentle foreboding music]

I was scrolling as far as I could scroll.

But then, all of a sudden,

I find there's posts the day of the shooting.

She's not in Pittsburgh.

[ominous beat]

She's at a bar.

With her friends.

She told me she was there.

Things aren't matching up at all.

What the hell is happening?

[keyboard keys clacking]

I think she probably saw her life like a TV series.

Season one, I've got cancer.

Everyone here in this room is someone

that has been instrumental in helping me get to 40.

ANDY: It really does a number on your head.

You just felt sick.

How could I be this stupid? Like, how did I not see it?

JENN: But I was terrified that if I exposed her,

they're gonna think that I'm crazy.

Because I look really crazy and unstable right now.

[Finch cheers]

Essentially, she was like an emotional terrorist.

It's time to tell the truth.

[tense music]