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1
00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:04,237
Mom, can you come here, please?
2
00:00:04,272 --> 00:00:05,939
What?!
3
00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:07,774
- I said, come here, please!
- You come here!
4
00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:09,909
We got a big box sent to us!
5
00:00:09,944 --> 00:00:11,244
- We did?
- It's a package!
6
00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:12,746
- Who's it from?
- I don't know.
7
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:15,715
Oh! It's for me!
8
00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:19,019
Thinking of you!
9
00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:21,588
"Dear M., hope this helps,
10
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:25,158
I only wish I could do more, xoxo, J.S.P."
11
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,927
Justine St. Pierre!
12
00:00:27,962 --> 00:00:31,298
David, one of my dear friends
is finally reaching out,
13
00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:34,100
and you know what, I
knew it would be Justine.
14
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:38,638
She can be an angry drunk,
but we were always close.
15
00:00:38,673 --> 00:00:41,174
"Congratulations on your
Allez Vous Starter Kit."
16
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,409
That frigid whore!
17
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:44,110
What's Allez Vous?
18
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:47,614
It's a scam, it's her
stupid cosmetics company!
19
00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:49,783
It's a pyramid scheme
for desperate housewives,
20
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:51,551
and struggling actors!
21
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,186
Well, how much can we make from this?
22
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,455
David, it's an insult,
we're sending it back!
23
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:57,057
Well, apparently you can win an Audi.
24
00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:58,458
What colour?
25
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,860
A Champagne Audi, look at that!
26
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:04,664
As if you could ever sell
enough of this crap to get a car.
27
00:01:04,699 --> 00:01:06,833
Well, Kristi Stubbs and
her team out of Montreal
28
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:08,968
have sold enough to get the car, so...
29
00:01:09,003 --> 00:01:11,304
don't believe everything
you read, dear, please.
30
00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:12,806
(Gasps)
31
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,507
- Burn it!
- Except this mascara.
32
00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:19,679
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
- www.addic7ed.com -
33
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,718
So Ray can't lend me his car today,
34
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:28,455
because he has to drive his
92-year-old mother somewhere.
35
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:31,257
Where does a 92-year-old
woman need to go?!
36
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,660
I don't know, John, perhaps the hospital?
37
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,795
Yeah, well, it's just I needed that car
38
00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:37,630
to get to my appointment today.
39
00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:39,265
What appointment?
40
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,735
Well, you know, the uh...
41
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,903
Thing that I had, I had a thing that I...
42
00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:46,573
What thing?
43
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,975
An unemployment thing, okay?
44
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:50,677
To get unemployment insurance,
45
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:52,245
I have the meeting this afternoon,
46
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:55,281
and now I have to grovel to Roland,
47
00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:58,318
to get his truck, in
order to get to Elmdale,
48
00:01:58,352 --> 00:01:59,786
to get this money...
49
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:02,288
Well, I think you're brave,
50
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:05,358
and while I didn't see us
living off of food stamps,
51
00:02:05,393 --> 00:02:08,962
I think there is something
very masculine about the way
52
00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:11,131
you're taking control of this situation.
53
00:02:11,165 --> 00:02:13,533
Sweetheart, I'm about to beg for a truck,
54
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,869
in order to beg for money,
55
00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:17,404
I think you've gotta
raise that masculinity bar
56
00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:20,473
just... just a little.
57
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:23,376
(Lawnmower buzzes loudly)
58
00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:28,615
- Roland!
- Hey, Johnny.
59
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,617
- Hi!
- What?
60
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,385
- Hi!
- Can't hear you.
61
00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:34,287
Hey, turn the motor off!
62
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:35,855
I can't hear you, the motor's on!
63
00:02:35,890 --> 00:02:38,758
Turn the motor off!
64
00:02:38,793 --> 00:02:42,328
Turn the motor off, you dumb son of a...
65
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:46,032
well, what can I do for you,
you "dumb son of a... "?
66
00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:48,401
(Both laugh)
67
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:51,838
Hey Roland, I need...
I need to borrow your truck,
68
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:54,040
I've got a very important
appointment today,
69
00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:57,210
and I sure could use it.
70
00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:59,646
Well of course, Johnny, you
know my truck is your truck,
71
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,548
any time you wanna borrow it,
it's fine with me, no problem-
72
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:03,342
well, that's very, very
nice, that's so nice.
73
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:06,252
Listen, as the owner of the truck,
74
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:07,787
would you do me one favour, though?
75
00:03:07,822 --> 00:03:09,823
When you return it, can
you bring the seats back up,
76
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,191
the way I had 'em, I'd appreciate that.
77
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:12,358
- I do.
- Well, you don't.
78
00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:13,493
But if could, I'd appreciate
it, that'd be great.
79
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,228
Well, I think I do!
80
00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:17,096
- Here's the keys,
- Thank you.
81
00:03:17,131 --> 00:03:18,731
... and also, when you return it,
82
00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:20,700
if you don't mind just backing it in,
83
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:21,968
because in the morning,
I have to kinda crick...
84
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:24,337
Yeah, I'll back it in, I'll back it in!
85
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:25,605
My neck like that, if you could
back it in that would be terrific.
86
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,340
Sure, I'll back it in.
87
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,542
The wiper fluid, um...
88
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:32,679
I had to replace sooner than usual,
89
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,914
- Now, I'm not asking...
- I don't touch the wiper fluid!
90
00:03:34,949 --> 00:03:36,649
- Well, okay, somebody did.
- I never use it.
91
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:39,152
Yeah well, I guess your "imaginary
friend" uses wiper fluid, right?
92
00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:40,987
I don't know! I'm not
asking for payback here,
93
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,355
but whatever you think
is fair would be terrific.
94
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,990
Okay, I never use it, though.
95
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:45,959
The radio was at a four.
I like it at a ten, so...
96
00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:48,261
Okay, you know what, I'm gonna walk!
97
00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:49,729
- Where are you going?
- I'm gonna walk, Roland!
98
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:50,897
- What do you mean you're walking?
- I don't want your truck!
99
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:51,498
No, no, the truck's right
there, what are you talking...
100
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:52,398
I don't need your truck!
101
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,567
It's gonna be there all day!
102
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:55,502
I'm just asking, maybe
you could put a little air
103
00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:57,170
in the tires, from time to time.
104
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:59,405
Bonjour!
105
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,741
Now that you've opened
your Allez Vous starter kit,
106
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,244
let's begin with those
essential tips and tricks
107
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:07,647
you'll need to make up
to 600,000 dollars a year.
108
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,682
That's 50,000 a month,
109
00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:12,619
that's 7,000 dollars a week.
110
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:16,055
No, it isn't! She didn't
finish high school.
111
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:18,191
Now, you've heard of other
get rich quick schemes,
112
00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:21,094
but this isn't a scheme, it's a system.
113
00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:25,865
Look at the work she's
had done, it's grotesque.
114
00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:27,133
Justine St. Pierre: (On
video) Go grab a pen and paper,
115
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:29,002
because I'm about to share
with you some essential
116
00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:32,639
tips and tricks to maximize
your sales productivity.
117
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,574
If this seems like a dream come true,
118
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:38,745
you need to pay attention
to my tips and tricks.
119
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,413
But the best part is, the
products sell themselves!
120
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:41,915
Okay, where are the tips and tricks?
121
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:42,649
We've been watching this for five minutes,
122
00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:44,017
she's talking in circles!
123
00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:46,553
Because it's a scam!
124
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:47,554
But if your father's
willing to go out there
125
00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:49,289
and sell his soul, dear,
126
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:52,892
the least we can do is
try to sell this garbage.
127
00:04:52,927 --> 00:04:54,427
What's this? Huh?
128
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:57,397
Oh, it's a sunless bronzing.
129
00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:59,399
Okay, let's sell it, how hard could it be?
130
00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:00,800
You sell you.
131
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:04,304
You sell you using Allez Vous.
132
00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:06,039
Okay, we're going to have a luncheon.
133
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:07,774
A luncheon?
134
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,643
Mm-hmm, a luncheon for
our little townie friends.
135
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:14,647
It's the least we could do. Hmm!
136
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:16,916
System, support, tips, tricks,
community, opportunity, tips...
137
00:05:16,951 --> 00:05:19,018
Twyla?
138
00:05:19,053 --> 00:05:20,853
- Hey, what's up?
- Nothing.
139
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:24,624
So um, Ted ordered toast, not home fries,
140
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,359
and he got home fries, so would
you just be a peach, and...
141
00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:28,027
Oh, sorry.
142
00:05:28,062 --> 00:05:29,929
No, you know what? It's
okay. I'm good with it.
143
00:05:29,964 --> 00:05:33,232
I like home fries, I'm gonna eat 'em, so.
144
00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:37,303
First day of a cleanse,
so she's a little whoo!
145
00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:39,606
Okay, so I can take it back.
146
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,040
- That would actually be great, if you wouldn't...
- No, no thank you.
147
00:05:41,075 --> 00:05:43,610
Lex, if you'll just let
me eat my breakfast here,
148
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:44,510
it's not like there's broken glass in it.
149
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,045
There's broken glass?
150
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,114
No, there is not broken glass in it,
151
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:50,984
just a lot of great flavours
that I can't wait to taste.
152
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,352
(Sighs happily) Great!
153
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:57,023
Thank you.
154
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:58,858
I'm just trying to help you.
155
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:02,895
Well, if you wanna help, eat something.
156
00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:05,198
I do not like what this
cleanse is doing to your brain.
157
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:07,867
You're being very rude!
158
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,202
I'm sorry for yelling.
159
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,513
(Claps)
160
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,215
Ain't she a beaut?
161
00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:23,383
Boy, is she ever, Bob.
162
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:25,685
You know, I uh...
163
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,387
I woke up this morning, I said to myself,
164
00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:29,589
Johnny, you've gotta buy yourself a car.
165
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,858
You may have a business
meeting in Elmdale one day,
166
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,793
and you're gonna be in trouble.
167
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,762
Yeah, I wouldn't have thought
this was your cup of tea.
168
00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:39,565
Oh, this is exactly what I was looking for!
169
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:43,236
Yeah, I'd love to take this
baby out for a test drive.
170
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:46,105
Yeah? I've got the keys,
let's take 'er for a spin.
171
00:06:46,140 --> 00:06:48,141
Not with you, Bob, I
don't wanna bother you.
172
00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:50,943
It's no bother.
173
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:53,413
I would just love to
take this out myself, Bob,
174
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:55,682
you know, a little peccadillo
of mine when I'm buying a car,
175
00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:58,217
I like to experience the car one on one,
176
00:06:58,252 --> 00:06:59,819
just me and the machine,
177
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,020
you know what I mean?
178
00:07:01,055 --> 00:07:03,656
No, I don't.
179
00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:05,058
I just wanna take it out
for a test drive, Bob,
180
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,759
just for a spin.
181
00:07:06,794 --> 00:07:08,728
So... Once around the block?
182
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,263
Oh yeah, once around the block,
183
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:11,397
you know, maybe around the corner,
184
00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:12,565
up the road a bit.
185
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,233
What road?
186
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:16,235
Well, this road, I'll take it up this road.
187
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:18,204
Okay, but no lefts, okay?
188
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,106
Because they lead to the highway,
189
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:24,377
and I really don't want her on the highway.
190
00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:27,880
Why would I take it on the highway?
191
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:31,551
♪ driving down that highway of life ♪
192
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:34,620
♪ feelin' fine and feelin' sunny ♪
193
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:37,190
♪ going to pick me up some money ♪
194
00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:40,426
(Hammering)
195
00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:41,894
You do know that just staring at the fence
196
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:43,563
isn't gonna help me fix it, right?
197
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:46,399
Yeah, I am.
198
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:48,601
I'm just thinking about
Ted, and how nice he is,
199
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,603
and... generous,
200
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,672
like, almost too generous.
201
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:55,108
And I just wanna grab him
by the sweater sometime,
202
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:58,144
and be like, "stop being
so generous and nice!"
203
00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:00,146
He always has been.
204
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,247
I feel bad thinking about all those times
205
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,583
I pinned him against a locker.
206
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:07,120
You pinned somebody against a locker?!
207
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,756
Well, I was a different person then,
208
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:12,592
a lot changed since after high school.
209
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:15,495
So what did he do to make
you such a teenage cliché?
210
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,296
He always said hi when
he passed me in the halls,
211
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:19,332
and for some reason, it bugged me.
212
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:21,334
Yeah, I can see that.
213
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:23,402
So he's bugging you.
214
00:08:23,437 --> 00:08:24,871
What? No! Oh my God, no!
215
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:26,773
Oh yes.
216
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:29,375
No, I'm just saying, generally speaking,
217
00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:31,978
when you order breakfast and
they give you the wrong order,
218
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,647
send it back and get the right order.
219
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,216
I never return food,
I think that's so rude.
220
00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:38,618
(Alexis groans)
221
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:42,188
(Johnny scats along with radio)
222
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:44,557
(Clattering and hissing noise)
223
00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:46,692
Oh no!
224
00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:49,595
Oh, son of a bum!
225
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:52,031
Son of a bitch!
226
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,533
(Engine hisses and groans)
227
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:59,505
Argh! What the hell?!
228
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:01,407
Ugh!
229
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,142
(Door shuts)
230
00:09:03,177 --> 00:09:05,278
Oh!
231
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:08,114
Oh!
232
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,148
(Breathing heavily)
233
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:14,287
(Car hisses)
234
00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:21,627
Well, the good news is all
you need is a new fan belt,
235
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:22,628
and then you'll be right back on the road.
236
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,564
Good, good.
237
00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:26,866
Well, it was important I
get to Elmdale today, Roland,
238
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,035
I appreciate you helping me out.
239
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,837
Ah, it's no problem, Johnny.
240
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:34,574
So, where in Elmdale am I taking you?
241
00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:38,811
Oh, just the general
downtown area will be fine.
242
00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:42,215
Okay, don't wanna tell me
where we're going, interesting.
243
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,417
It's uh, just... just a business meeting,
244
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:45,651
just I've gotta meet a guy.
245
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:47,553
Uh huh, what guy?
246
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:49,922
A financial guy, it's a financial matter.
247
00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:51,424
Well Johnny, it's gonna
be awfully hard for me
248
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:53,259
to get you to this meeting if
I don't know where we're going!
249
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:55,695
I mean, why is this such a big secret?
250
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,864
It's not a big secret, it's
not a big secret, Roland,
251
00:09:57,898 --> 00:09:59,799
and you're only doing 25, if
we could pick it up a little...
252
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,400
Oh my God, now you're in such a hurry.
253
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:03,202
What's the big rush here?
I don't get that, either!
254
00:10:03,237 --> 00:10:04,704
The office closes at
four o'clock, that's all.
255
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:06,339
What office are you talking about?
256
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:07,206
The financial guy that
I'm seeing, his office...
257
00:10:07,241 --> 00:10:08,741
What financial guy?
258
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,977
The guy I'm doing business
with, I told you...
259
00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:12,545
- Where are we going?!
- The unemployment office!
260
00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:14,714
Okay?
261
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:18,985
I'm applying for unemployment.
262
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:20,887
Jeez pal, your business is your business.
263
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:21,954
I don't know why you're telling me!
264
00:10:26,881 --> 00:10:29,381
Well, good afternoon!
265
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,855
Everyone have a full glass, I hope?
266
00:10:31,889 --> 00:10:33,757
We've wanted to have you all here for ages,
267
00:10:33,791 --> 00:10:35,492
you've all so graciously welcomed us
268
00:10:35,526 --> 00:10:38,695
into your heavenly hamlet!
269
00:10:38,729 --> 00:10:42,098
Now, if you'll be so good as to follow me,
270
00:10:42,133 --> 00:10:43,533
David is setting out some hors d'oeuvres
271
00:10:43,567 --> 00:10:46,036
in our adjoining suite.
272
00:10:46,070 --> 00:10:49,339
- David! We have guests!
- (Fake gasp)
273
00:10:49,373 --> 00:10:51,307
You were supposed to have cleaned
up all these quality products!
274
00:10:51,342 --> 00:10:54,010
I must've lost track of time.
275
00:10:54,045 --> 00:10:57,147
Now the seating areas are
covered in Allez Vous cosmetics!
276
00:10:57,181 --> 00:10:59,682
I know, I just didn't want
to put such high quality
277
00:10:59,717 --> 00:11:03,053
paraben and paba free product on the floor!
278
00:11:03,087 --> 00:11:07,357
Come on in.
279
00:11:07,391 --> 00:11:09,893
Okay, well everything's going
super well, I can see, so...
280
00:11:09,927 --> 00:11:11,694
well no, come on, we've
gotta stay for a bit.
281
00:11:11,729 --> 00:11:13,730
No, we've made our
appearance, and now we can go.
282
00:11:13,764 --> 00:11:16,132
Your mom asked me to come.
283
00:11:16,167 --> 00:11:18,168
Well, she asked everybody to come.
284
00:11:18,202 --> 00:11:19,969
Can you not just say no for one time, Ted?!
285
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,009
Jocelyn, you can hold this lip plumper.
286
00:11:26,043 --> 00:11:28,078
Ronnie, this is a mineral moisturizer,
287
00:11:28,112 --> 00:11:30,413
you could keep it on
your lap, or sample it.
288
00:11:30,448 --> 00:11:32,916
David, now is not the
time to discuss Allez Vous'
289
00:11:32,950 --> 00:11:34,818
preferred customer discounts.
290
00:11:34,852 --> 00:11:37,520
Oh!
291
00:11:37,555 --> 00:11:39,255
Actually, I think I'm going
to be getting lunch elsewhere.
292
00:11:39,290 --> 00:11:40,657
Can I come with you?
293
00:11:40,691 --> 00:11:42,258
I don't think so.
294
00:11:42,293 --> 00:11:45,895
Now you get all decisive-y?
295
00:11:45,930 --> 00:11:48,331
I was just so excited
about Allez Vous' exclusive
296
00:11:48,365 --> 00:11:51,935
anti-aging formula,
and rejuvenation serums.
297
00:11:51,969 --> 00:11:53,837
Alexis, you'd like this product.
298
00:11:53,871 --> 00:11:56,039
It's all about aging, and dry skin.
299
00:11:56,073 --> 00:11:58,541
Oh my God, ew, David!
300
00:11:58,576 --> 00:12:00,677
David, I know you're excited to be part
301
00:12:00,711 --> 00:12:03,012
of the fastest growing
multilevel marketing community
302
00:12:03,047 --> 00:12:06,950
on the continent, but honestly!
303
00:12:06,984 --> 00:12:08,384
There's something wrong with your face.
304
00:12:08,419 --> 00:12:10,987
With my face?
305
00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:12,956
Well, if any of you do
happen to have questions
306
00:12:12,990 --> 00:12:15,191
about the products,
307
00:12:15,226 --> 00:12:18,995
or how to make up to
600,000 dollars a year,
308
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:22,398
I suppose I'd be willing to
share with you what I know.
309
00:12:28,472 --> 00:12:31,641
In the meantime, please, eat, drink,
310
00:12:31,675 --> 00:12:34,511
to your possible beauty!
311
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:36,312
(Phone rings)
312
00:12:36,347 --> 00:12:38,314
How can I help you today, sir?
313
00:12:38,349 --> 00:12:40,083
Uh, yes, Johnny Rose, I have an
appointment to get some money.
314
00:12:40,117 --> 00:12:42,252
Get some money?
315
00:12:42,286 --> 00:12:45,088
I need a cheque, preferably today.
316
00:12:45,122 --> 00:12:46,723
Ideally in the next few minutes,
317
00:12:46,757 --> 00:12:48,858
'cause I have somebody waiting in the car.
318
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:52,228
(Chuckles) Well, we
don't just give out money.
319
00:12:52,263 --> 00:12:53,997
First we need some information.
320
00:12:54,031 --> 00:12:55,999
Oh yeah, sure, yeah. Hm-hm.
321
00:12:56,033 --> 00:12:58,902
- Your name?
- Johnny Rose.
322
00:12:58,936 --> 00:13:01,304
- Last employer?
- Johnny Rose.
323
00:13:01,338 --> 00:13:02,639
And how long did you work for yourself?
324
00:13:02,673 --> 00:13:06,075
All my life.
325
00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:08,945
And your reason for being out of work?
326
00:13:08,979 --> 00:13:12,749
I sold my business, and I got
screwed by my business manager.
327
00:13:12,783 --> 00:13:15,218
Did you pay into unemployment insurance?
328
00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:17,954
I don't know, maybe I did, maybe I didn't,
329
00:13:17,988 --> 00:13:21,958
it never came across my desk, I uh...
330
00:13:21,992 --> 00:13:26,930
We can't give you money unless
you contributed to the program.
331
00:13:26,964 --> 00:13:28,565
I don't think you're understanding,
332
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:32,001
I employed people, hundreds of people.
333
00:13:32,036 --> 00:13:34,470
You see, and now I'm unemployed.
334
00:13:34,505 --> 00:13:37,040
But that doesn't mean you
qualify for unemployment.
335
00:13:37,074 --> 00:13:38,508
I lost my job!
336
00:13:38,542 --> 00:13:40,243
You lost your business.
337
00:13:40,277 --> 00:13:42,779
Okay, let me walk you through this.
338
00:13:42,813 --> 00:13:45,949
You see, I need money
to get back on my feet
339
00:13:45,983 --> 00:13:48,651
so I can employ more people,
340
00:13:48,686 --> 00:13:50,787
that might actually end up
saving you money in the long run
341
00:13:50,821 --> 00:13:52,322
now, am I the only one who understands
342
00:13:52,356 --> 00:13:53,990
how an economy works around here?!
343
00:13:54,024 --> 00:13:56,659
Let me walk you through this, Mr. Rose.
344
00:13:56,694 --> 00:13:59,495
Unless you can prove that you
contributed, you don't qualify.
345
00:13:59,530 --> 00:14:01,197
If you were laid off, or fired,
346
00:14:01,232 --> 00:14:02,465
or could show that you
were out looking for work,
347
00:14:02,499 --> 00:14:04,100
that would be a different story.
348
00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:05,568
I'd like to talk to
your supervisor, please.
349
00:14:05,603 --> 00:14:08,471
I am the supervisor.
350
00:14:08,505 --> 00:14:12,008
And, may I say, doing a fantastic job.
351
00:14:14,678 --> 00:14:19,148
And who's interested?
352
00:14:19,183 --> 00:14:21,684
Well, it doesn't look like
anybody's really interested.
353
00:14:21,719 --> 00:14:23,686
Get out!
354
00:14:23,721 --> 00:14:29,325
I know someone here wants in
on this exclusive opportunity!
355
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:31,227
Moira, honey, that Champagne
Audi is really hard to get.
356
00:14:31,262 --> 00:14:33,930
Excuse me?
357
00:14:33,964 --> 00:14:36,132
Take it from me, Roland and
I have been Allez Vous reps
358
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:39,969
for two years, and we're
still driving that old truck.
359
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:43,606
Sorry, you're... you're
an Allez Vous consultant?
360
00:14:43,641 --> 00:14:46,276
I'm actually an executive area manager.
361
00:14:46,310 --> 00:14:48,645
I'm a district manager.
362
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,546
I'm an executive district manager.
363
00:14:50,581 --> 00:14:51,781
I gave up.
364
00:14:51,815 --> 00:14:54,150
What?!
365
00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:55,685
The Allez Vous craze hit
the town a couple years ago,
366
00:14:55,719 --> 00:14:57,754
and you should've seen us!
367
00:14:57,788 --> 00:14:59,522
In two weeks we had sold everything
368
00:14:59,556 --> 00:15:01,424
to the other half of town, and vice versa.
369
00:15:01,458 --> 00:15:04,193
That's... that's funny.
370
00:15:04,228 --> 00:15:07,530
It became a bit incestuous,
yeah, very small sales pool.
371
00:15:07,564 --> 00:15:10,833
It became literally
impossible to climb the ladder.
372
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:13,836
Anywho, good luck!
373
00:15:18,809 --> 00:15:21,144
Somehow, we got off on the wrong foot.
374
00:15:21,178 --> 00:15:24,580
Okay? So if I in any way
gave you the impression that-
375
00:15:24,615 --> 00:15:26,616
I am locking up now, Mr. Rose.
376
00:15:26,650 --> 00:15:27,250
Johnny, how long is this gonna take,
377
00:15:27,284 --> 00:15:29,819
'cause I got a couple-
378
00:15:29,853 --> 00:15:31,954
Roland?
379
00:15:31,989 --> 00:15:35,792
Well Marnie, hello. How are you?
380
00:15:35,826 --> 00:15:37,927
Haven't seen you in a while.
381
00:15:37,961 --> 00:15:41,731
Yeah, it has been a while, hasn't it?
382
00:15:41,765 --> 00:15:44,667
Marnie and I were, um, how shall I say it?
383
00:15:44,702 --> 00:15:47,603
"Close friends" in high school.
384
00:15:47,638 --> 00:15:49,038
Isn't that right, Marnie?
385
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,074
Okay, that's enough of that.
386
00:15:51,108 --> 00:15:52,828
(Chuckles) Marnie likes the bad boys.
387
00:15:52,843 --> 00:15:55,111
Roland!
388
00:15:55,145 --> 00:15:56,679
Are you taking care of
my bad boy over there?
389
00:15:56,714 --> 00:15:58,281
No, she's being quite obstinate
about this whole situation.
390
00:15:58,315 --> 00:16:00,817
I'm getting nothing!
391
00:16:00,851 --> 00:16:02,985
Well, unfortunately,
Mr. Rose doesn't qualify
392
00:16:03,020 --> 00:16:05,922
for unemployment because
he's never had a job.
393
00:16:05,956 --> 00:16:07,357
Oh well, didn't he tell you about the job
394
00:16:07,391 --> 00:16:09,826
- he was doing for me?
- No, what job?
395
00:16:09,860 --> 00:16:12,395
You didn't tell her?
396
00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:15,832
No-no, not
specifically, I-I-uh...
397
00:16:15,866 --> 00:16:17,500
Well, that's important
information, Mr. Rose.
398
00:16:17,534 --> 00:16:19,569
You working for Roland
makes you an employee.
399
00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:22,405
- Yes!
- Oh! I forgot.
400
00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:25,041
Well, what were your duties?
401
00:16:25,075 --> 00:16:27,477
Well, I was in more of
a consulting position.
402
00:16:27,511 --> 00:16:30,346
Oh! (Laughs) No, no, no, no, no.
403
00:16:30,381 --> 00:16:32,615
It was not a consulting
position, he was my assistant,
404
00:16:32,649 --> 00:16:34,083
he was like my little guy Friday.
405
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:35,685
He would fetch things for me,
406
00:16:35,719 --> 00:16:37,487
I'd tell him where to go
and he'd go running off,
407
00:16:37,521 --> 00:16:39,188
and fetching things for me.
408
00:16:39,223 --> 00:16:40,890
What were some of the things you fetched?
409
00:16:40,924 --> 00:16:43,359
- You fetched like uh...
- Coffee.
410
00:16:43,394 --> 00:16:45,294
- Coffee, you'd get that, and um...
- I get his coffee...
411
00:16:45,329 --> 00:16:47,797
- Sometimes you'd have to...
- Get a hankie.
412
00:16:47,831 --> 00:16:50,299
- No, you'd pick up, you know...
- Cleaning, his dry cleaning.
413
00:16:50,334 --> 00:16:51,534
- Yeah, you'd have to do that, and then...
- Just when he didn't have time.
414
00:16:51,568 --> 00:16:53,302
How about these guys down
there, those are boots.
415
00:16:53,337 --> 00:16:54,437
Nothing with the boots,
I don't think there was-
416
00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:55,805
Oh, there was something with the boots.
417
00:16:55,839 --> 00:16:57,573
Polish them every once in a while.
418
00:16:57,608 --> 00:16:59,208
Every now and then, he had to do that, too.
419
00:16:59,243 --> 00:17:02,211
He was a hell of a worker and
I really, really needed him,
420
00:17:02,246 --> 00:17:06,315
because you know how busy I can get.
421
00:17:06,350 --> 00:17:07,984
(Sly chuckle) Yes I do.
422
00:17:08,018 --> 00:17:11,187
(Chuckles)
423
00:17:11,221 --> 00:17:14,090
Yeah, unfortunately I
had to can his ass though,
424
00:17:14,124 --> 00:17:16,793
because of that whole
"cut the gravy" thing, so.
425
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:19,929
Oh. Well...
426
00:17:19,963 --> 00:17:22,598
I think we can make this work.
427
00:17:22,633 --> 00:17:24,000
(Bell on door jingles)
428
00:17:26,904 --> 00:17:29,138
(Sighs)
429
00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:32,008
Hey... I come in peace.
430
00:17:32,042 --> 00:17:34,243
What's this?
431
00:17:34,278 --> 00:17:37,880
I don't know, it's a pre shave
follicle mask or something,
432
00:17:37,915 --> 00:17:42,351
I took it from the pile of
product that nobody bought.
433
00:17:42,386 --> 00:17:44,120
Sweet gesture.
434
00:17:47,891 --> 00:17:50,092
I'm sorry for being rude.
435
00:17:50,127 --> 00:17:51,561
You have to understand
that you're the first
436
00:17:51,595 --> 00:17:53,262
nice guy that I've dated.
437
00:17:53,297 --> 00:17:56,332
Lex, I am not always nice.
438
00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:57,966
I just really want my family to like you.
439
00:17:57,968 --> 00:18:00,136
They don't like me?
440
00:18:00,170 --> 00:18:02,538
No, they do! They do, they've just
always seen nice as a sign of weakness,
441
00:18:02,573 --> 00:18:04,307
they take advantage of nice.
442
00:18:04,341 --> 00:18:07,844
No, nice does not always mean weak, it's...
443
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:11,914
Okay, so get mad, then.
444
00:18:11,949 --> 00:18:14,417
Say something super mean.
445
00:18:14,451 --> 00:18:18,421
What, I can't just turn it on
in an instant, like you can.
446
00:18:18,455 --> 00:18:22,825
Okay well, consider it
a kind of role play then,
447
00:18:22,860 --> 00:18:25,528
and just let it out.
448
00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:29,799
I-I don't know...
449
00:18:29,833 --> 00:18:32,835
I find your brother can be a
little pretentious sometimes.
450
00:18:32,870 --> 00:18:34,670
Yes, yes!
451
00:18:34,705 --> 00:18:37,039
He is so pretentious, and it is so gross.
452
00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:38,374
This is good, keep going.
453
00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:40,910
Well, and your mother...
454
00:18:40,944 --> 00:18:43,513
Seems to be a little uninformed at times.
455
00:18:43,547 --> 00:18:46,382
She's uninformed most of the time.
456
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:47,776
This is great, this is really good.
457
00:18:47,784 --> 00:18:49,352
Keep going!
458
00:18:49,386 --> 00:18:51,053
Well, and you, what about you?
459
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,188
Are you just going to sit around all day,
460
00:18:52,222 --> 00:18:53,523
while I work and buy you dinners?
461
00:18:53,557 --> 00:18:55,491
You've gotta go out there and get a job...
462
00:18:55,526 --> 00:18:56,926
- Too far.
- Mm-hmm.
463
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,462
- It's too far, okay.
- That's too far.
464
00:18:59,496 --> 00:19:01,931
All right, and there we go.
465
00:19:01,965 --> 00:19:04,400
- Boy, thank you!
- Oh, stop it.
466
00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:08,838
No, no, Roland, I-I owe you big.
467
00:19:08,872 --> 00:19:12,508
Well um, one day, and
that day may never come,
468
00:19:12,543 --> 00:19:15,311
I may call upon you to perform a function.
469
00:19:15,345 --> 00:19:16,779
Marlon Brando!
470
00:19:16,813 --> 00:19:19,248
Yes, but from what movie?
471
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,684
The Godfather.
472
00:19:21,718 --> 00:19:23,553
No, it's the one where
he's the big mafia guy.
473
00:19:23,587 --> 00:19:25,855
The Godfather!
474
00:19:25,889 --> 00:19:28,224
Hold on a second, I'll think of it.
475
00:19:28,258 --> 00:19:31,961
Anyway, I appreciate what you've
done, Roland, I really do, I'm-
476
00:19:31,995 --> 00:19:34,263
Don't you worry about it,
Johnny, I'm happy to do it.
477
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,566
Why don't you just get
me a little wiper fluid,
478
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,234
and we'll call it even, okay?
479
00:19:38,268 --> 00:19:39,802
Okay, wiper fluid, you got it.
480
00:19:39,836 --> 00:19:41,270
And also maybe a Kleenex caddy?
481
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:42,905
I've always wanted one of those.
482
00:19:42,940 --> 00:19:44,373
That's funny!
483
00:19:44,408 --> 00:19:46,542
It is, but I'm not joking.
484
00:19:46,577 --> 00:19:49,879
All right, one Kleenex
caddy, and wiper fluid.
485
00:19:49,913 --> 00:19:52,315
(Truck engine rumbles)
486
00:19:52,349 --> 00:19:53,683
(Engine revs, tires screech)
487
00:19:55,752 --> 00:19:57,119
(Engine clatters, hisses)
488
00:20:00,290 --> 00:20:01,757
Roland, you screwed it up!
489
00:20:03,927 --> 00:20:05,127
Roland!
490
00:20:06,630 --> 00:20:08,030
Roland!
491
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,134
Son of a bitch!
492
00:20:16,497 --> 00:20:19,265
Oh Johnny, I told you not
to take 'er on the highway.
493
00:20:19,898 --> 00:20:21,866
Yeah, I'm sorry, Bob,
494
00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:25,069
I guess I took one of those
left turns, and uh, yeah.
495
00:20:25,104 --> 00:20:27,305
Okay, well, let's get 'er hooked up,
496
00:20:27,339 --> 00:20:29,674
get you back to the garage,
497
00:20:29,708 --> 00:20:30,875
and we'll start on the paperwork.
498
00:20:30,909 --> 00:20:33,711
What paperwork?
499
00:20:33,745 --> 00:20:36,681
It's all filled in, you just
have to sign it, and uh...
500
00:20:36,715 --> 00:20:38,649
She's all yours!
501
00:20:38,684 --> 00:20:40,251
I'm not buying this car!
502
00:20:40,285 --> 00:20:42,019
You change your mind?
503
00:20:42,054 --> 00:20:45,223
It broke, twice! It's a broken car!
504
00:20:45,257 --> 00:20:46,991
We'll play a little hardball, okay.
505
00:20:47,025 --> 00:20:49,627
I'll knock twenty bucks off.
506
00:20:49,661 --> 00:20:51,221
You couldn't get twenty bucks for scrap!
507
00:20:51,230 --> 00:20:53,097
Oh! (Laughs)
508
00:20:53,132 --> 00:20:54,966
All right, thirty bucks!
509
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,801
How about zero bucks?!
510
00:20:56,835 --> 00:20:58,369
I wouldn't give you a dime for this!
511
00:20:58,403 --> 00:20:59,971
Johnny, you're killing me here!
512
00:21:00,005 --> 00:21:01,839
Fifty bucks!
513
00:21:01,874 --> 00:21:06,043
Oh, you know what, Bob,
I'm walking. I'm walking!
514
00:21:06,078 --> 00:21:07,879
I'll throw in a couple of floor mats,
515
00:21:07,913 --> 00:21:09,080
but that's my final offer!
516
00:21:09,114 --> 00:21:09,780
Walking!
517
00:21:09,782 --> 00:21:16,621
Hey!
518
00:21:16,623 --> 00:21:17,889
I said bring
519
00:21:17,891 --> 00:21:18,990
the goddamn diaper bag!
520
00:21:18,992 --> 00:21:20,124
Have you seen that couple
521
00:21:20,126 --> 00:21:20,958
that checked in?
522
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:21,993
They're my cousins.
523
00:21:21,995 --> 00:21:22,827
Oh.
524
00:21:22,829 --> 00:21:23,794
John, you're speaking
525
00:21:23,796 --> 00:21:24,896
at the funeral?
526
00:21:24,898 --> 00:21:26,264
Nothing says we'll miss you
527
00:21:26,266 --> 00:21:27,266
like an excerpt
528
00:21:27,267 --> 00:21:28,399
from Breaking Dawn.
529
00:21:28,423 --> 00:21:30,423
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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