Original subtitles

Move it, dorkus.

Okay, I think you're next. I'll take yourr ticket.

Come right around this way. Keep yourr back straight.

Put your books down on your lap.

Νow' look right up at the camera, okay? Νice smile. Here we go.

Let me focus right over here. Okay. Get your in.

That's good.

Swing arournd this Way jurst a little bit' Gina.

- It's Jenna. - Look over here' Gina.

It's Jenna!

Oh' God.

Oh' no.

I've had enourgh already.

Hey, Jenna.

Matt' please. Νo more pictures.

Come on. It's your 13th birthday. We gotta document it.

- Hi, Tom-Tom. - Hey' Jenna.

Hi, Beaver. How's everything at the dam?

- So how'd yourrs come ourt, Rink? - Νot so good.

Yeah, mine aren't so hot either.

- Tom-Tom, yours are great! - Yours are the best.

God, your're so photogenic.

I'll meet your ourt front.

Do whatever you want. It's not like she needs a play-by-play.

- Freakazoid. - See you.

Jenna' could I talk to you a tiny sec?

I told Chris Grandy me and the Six Chicks were going to yourr party.

- And he said he Wanted to come with. - Really?

Yeah, it's too bad we can't make it' because we really wanted to.

- Didn't we, girls? - Totally.

- So, so murch. - We're so sorry.

Miss Measly's up ourr butts with this group project...

...and Chris is gonna help us out...

...so I guress he can't come either.

- I courId write yourr report for you. - Fabuloso.

Your know, I can't believe your invited those clones.

They're my friends.

Six Chicks are not your friends, okay?

Well' almost. And someday I'm gonna be a Six Chick.

There's six of them. That's the point. There can't be a seventh Six Chick.

It's just mathematically impossible.

Your're cooler than they are. They're urnoriginal.

I don't wanna be original, Matty' I wanna be cool.

- Want some Razzles? - Razzles are for kids.

Exactly.

- Arrivederci. - Au revoir.

- Hey' sWeetie. - Happy birthday!

Tell us about your new life as a teenager.

What did you do? Are your wearing a bra?

- Go away! - Oh' honey, what's wrong?

Wayne. Self-image.

- Jenna, it's going to be all right. - It is not' Mom! Look at me!

- This is not okay. This is fatal. - It's not fatal, honey. It's realistic.

I hate my life.

Your don't look like girls in Poise magazine...

...but your're beautiful in yourr own way.

I don't wanna be beaurtifurI in my own way.

I wanna look like these people.

Oh' those aren't people, honey. Those are models.

"Thirty, flirty and thriving. Why the 30s are the best years of yourr life."

I wanna be 30.

Well' you Will be' honey.

But right noW your're my beaurtifurI 13-year-old.

- Happy birthday! - Oh' my God.

This is just part one of your present. I got something else to give you later.

What is it?

Your know how your always wanted a Barbie Dream House?

Well' I decided to make you yourr own Jenna Dream Hourse.

- You made all this? Oh, Matty. - Yeah.

See' that's your in your bubble bath, reading your favourite magazine.

And there's yourr bedroom, with a massive stereo...

...and every record ever made.

The good ones.

And there's that burm Rick Springfield loafing on the couch.

And there I am' to make surre the creep keeps his hands to himself.

Oh' almost forgot. Wishing dust.

It says, "This wishing dust knows what's in your heart of hearts.

It'll make all your dreams come trure."

They're here.

What do we do?

Oh' my God. Matt, I'm just gonna purt this aWay, okay?

So there's room to dance.

Put some music on.

Dad' you promised you Were gonna stay urpstairs. Go!

Hi, guys. The party's downstairs.

Fabuloso.

- What is this? - I'm not sure. It's Matt's.

Sorry' Beave-head. Majority rurles.

Νarrow' man. Νarrow' hopeless people.

- Freak. - Robot.

I'm gonna go next door and get my Casio.

Do whatever you want, Matt. It's not like I need a play-by-play.

See you' loser.

Hey, I have an idea, girls.

Let's play Seven Minutes in Heaven.

Your can go first' because you're the birthday girl.

How does that one go, again?

Well' you go in the closet' and some Iurcky guy's gonna go in there...

...and do Whatever he wants with you for seven whole minutes.

And guess who wants to go first.

- Who? - Chris Grandy.

- Νo way. - Way.

Before I forget' where's our project proposal?

- On the table. - Thanks.

Remember' no peeking. Keep that blindfold on.

And jurst so you know, Chris loves going for second base.

Let's go. I think I can get my brother to buy urs some beer.

- I got the cheez doodles. - Wait, give me that drink.

Thank your. Leave it, George. Come on.

- What's going on? - Jenna's Waiting for you in the closet.

I thought you weren't gonna come.

Where are your?

Oh' Chris.

- It's not Chris, it's Matt. - What are you doing here?

- Where's Chris? - He's gone. Everybody left.

- What'd you do? - Νothing!

- Yes, your did! - I jurst went to get my Casio!

- Get out! - Wait! Jenna' let me talk to you!

- Get out! Νo! - Jenna, please' just come ourt!

I hate you! I hate me! I hate everybody!

- Jenna, What are you talking about? - I wanna be 30!

Just let me play you this song' okay? It'll make your feel better.

I wanna be 30. Thirty and flirty and thriving.

Thirty and flirty and thriving.

Thirty and flirty and thriving. Thirty and flirty and thriving.

Thirty and flirty and thriving.

Mom?

Dad?

What is happening?

Oh' what is happening? What is going on?

"Jenna Rink."

"Jenna Rink. Jenna Rink, Jenna Rink."

I live here.

- Hi. Sorry we missed your call. - Dad?

Well, not that sorry, because we're in the Caribbean.

So ww'll be back on thw 18th, so call us then. Have a good day.

Your went on a crurise Withourt me?

Oh' this is a dream. This is a really weird dream.

- Hey' sWeet bottom! - Oh' my God.

I know you're there! And my parents are totally gonna be home any minute!

Hey, where's the conditioner?

- You're naked! - Well' not yet.

Your could join me if your want.

Sweet bottom!

Can you hear that music?

Jenna? Can your hurrry urp a little bit, please?

He made a commitment. Jenna? Can your come over here?

I don't care if your have to grab him by his testicles...

...I Want him in Νew York in 12 hours.

He needs to be at the party. Hold on a second.

- Get in the car. - I don't get in the car with strangers.

Get in the car. We're gonna be late.

- I don't know you. - Just get in the car.

- Νot with strangers! - You're being paranoid.

Sweet bottom! Don't make me come down there and grab you.

Lurcy Wyman. He has my number. Could your please get in the car?

- Jenna! - We are gonna be late.

Look, he made a commitment. He has my number. My name is Lucy Wyman.

Just go aWay!

Honey' I knoW I'm your best friend' burt the slip dress is a little '97.

- Unless it's retro. - Are you really my best friend?

- You're pregnant. - Oh' no! Oh, my God, no!

Thank God. Your scared me. What did you do last night?

See' that's the thing. Something really strange is happening.

I slept in an apartment I've never seen before...

...and there was a naked man in my shower and I saw his thingy.

Oh' God. Νot his thingy.

Driver, courId you please pull over' since we're here?

- Stop! - Wait. I don't wanna get out of the...

I don't think your're listening. Wait, hang on.

Wait, listen to me. I'm 13.

If your're gonna start lying about yourr age, I'd go with 27.

Wait! I know it sounds strange, burt some Weird dream is... Like that!

Do your hear it? Did you hear that?

Would your stop being ridiculous? It's probably just Richard.

- Who's Richard? - You drink too murch.

Richard, yourr boss.

Brown, curly hair. British. Richard.

- Hello? - Hey, sweet bottom.

Your. You. Purt on your pants and stop calling me "sweet bottom."

- Look, baby... - And get out of my house!

Who is that?

I don't knoW his name. I don't knoW what's happening.

Okay, Jenna. Jenna. Just calm down' okay?

We have a meeting in 10 minutes. I'll tell your what to do. Repeat after me:

I am Jenna Rink, bigtime magazine editor.

- I am? - Repeat it.

I am Jenna Rink, bigtime magazine editor.

I'm a tourgh bitch.

- Say it. - I am a tourgh bitch.

I'm gonna Walk into that office' I won't let anyone know I'm hung-over.

But that's not the point. I'm not hung-over...

I'll Walk into that office and not let anyone know I'm hung-over.

Becaurse the furture of Poise depends on me.

Poise?

Oh' jeez.

Poise magazine. Thank your.

Good morning, Miss Rink' Miss Wyman.

- Good morning. What's her name? - Who cares?

Jenna. Please don't yell at me, it's not my fault.

They need a decision right noW.

- Just pick one. - That one.

Love. Knew it. Genius.

Eminem's on the phone. He wants a decision now.

Plain.

Peanut. Plain.

There's the dynamic duo! I trust my execurtive editors are late again...

...becaurse they were ourt promoting urs at parties.

- You got it, Richard. - Richard. You're my boss.

That's right' baby. Who's yourr daddy?

Wayne Rink.

Morning.

Two words: summer, Saint Barts.

Oh' you're not gonna go to Fire Island this summer?

- Are you insinurating I'm gay? - It's a joke.

Is there anything else you need from me, Miss Rink?

Your mean like a favourr?

Sure. Like a favour.

- I need to find this guy in Νew Jersey. - Okay.

I have his nurmber.

- Arlene, will you leave us, please? - Sorry.

Jenna's a little hung-over today.

Rough.

Okay, children.

I wonder which one Holly Housewife is going to go for.

The 1 Oth or the 11 th secret?

Seven months in a row now they scoop us.

I mean, it's like they've got Sparkle-cams hidden in all ourr Walls.

Richard, we're installing passWords.

We're building firewalls on all the computers.

- Jenna fired Charlotte yesterday. - Did your?

I guarantee she has friends at Sparkle. She always took notes.

- She Was a secretary. - Yeah, whatever.

Our party tonight is now huge.

We need to make an unequrivocal statement...

...that Poise is still hot and happening.

Νow' we need a newsstand circ analysis done immediately.

I also strongly surggest we take apart ourr F.O.B., overhaurI the B.O.B...

...think about new heads, decks and slugs. Jenna, what do you think?

Can I go to the bathroom?

It's the naked gury.

"Jenna, girl' margaritas anytime. Love your, Madonna."

I'm friends with Madonna?

Here are your messages.

And your mother called from Barbados.

My mom called? I wish you'd told me.

Oh' I'm sorry' Miss Rink.

I thought you said never to bother your with family calls.

- I did? I said that? - Please don't fire me.

Νo, no, I won't. It's not your fault. I forgot that I said that.

Νext time my mom calls' let me know.

Yes, ma'am.

Oh' I have that information that your asked for.

Matt!

The phone nurmber your gave me was his parents'.

I told them that I worked for Visa and he's in a lot of trouble.

Your lied to the Flamhaffs!

He's in the Village. 212 Bank Street' apartment 2B.

- Which village? - The... GreenWich Village.

Oh' right. Cool.

Wait! Should I cancel yourr 2:30 meeting?

Sorry.

Excurse me?

Sir?

Hello?

Ywah, yeah. Hello. Yeah.

Hi, this is Jenna and I'm looking for Matt.

I don't knoW if you're him, burt if you lived on Spruce Street...

...and if yourr favourrite shirt is a gray velour one' I need to speak to you.

Hello? Hello? Hello? You know what? I got none of that.

If you're here from Ming Gardens, ring twice. If not, I really don't want it.

Your're not Chinese.

- Matt? - Yeah.

Your're tall. You're different.

- Yeah. - You don't know me?

That's weird, because yesterday your were there.

Νo, it wasn't yesterday' because I'm not 13.

- Jenna. - Yes!

- Jenna Rink. - Yes! Matt' it's me!

- Hey. - Oh' Matty!

Come on in.

Your still take pictures?

Yeah. Your knoW, it pays the bills.

Hey, Jenna' What are...? Why are your here?

Matty, I told your. Something really Weird is happening.

Yesterday was my 13th birthday and then....

And then today I Woke up and I'm this.

And you... I mean, you're that. Your get it?

Are your high? Your been smoking pot? Doing X? Falling into a K-hole?

- Are you doing drugs? - Νo. Νo. Look...

...I Was sitting in my closet and I skipped everything.

I mean, it's like a weird dream. I can't remember my life.

Your need to help me remember my life.

- Me? I can't do that. - Why not?

I don't knoW anything abourt you' all right?

I haven't seen your since high school.

- What? - We're not friends anymore' Jenna.

- Matty, your're my best friend. - Νo.

Okay. It's cool.

- It's cool. - Is it Warm in here?

It's... Maybe I should open a Window.

I need fresh air and a glass of water and a flurffy pillow.

Have a seat. I'll get your some... Your want a glass of water?

- You Want ice in that? - I want a fluffy pilloW!

A flurffy pillow, coming right up. Sorry.

Your all right?

Jenna' I think your shourId go back to yourr apartment. I'll help you find it.

We went separate ways. We Went to different colleges, different careers.

Well' what abourt Christmas? Didn't your wanna see me then?

I think I saw you through a frosted window once, six years ago.

- Six years ago? - Yeah.

Wasn't I home last Christmas?

I don't knoW. Doesn't yourr crowd do Saint Barts for Christmas?

I don't knoW.

Is this you?

Yeah. This is Where I live noW.

Okay, so' nice seeing you.

Good luck.

- Okay? - Okay.

- Bye. - Bye.

Matt.

Who is Saint Bart?

The most depressing years of my life. Our high-school yearbook.

Matt' was I a Six Chick?

Yeah, your were pretty murch their leader.

There's Tom-Tom. I wonder what happened to her.

Last I heard' you were still good friends. I think your even work together.

Lurcy. Oh, my God, yes.

She's Lurcy Wyman now. She looks so different.

Yeah, she's pretty big into the whole plastic surgery movement.

- I was the prom queen. - Yep.

- And I went with Chris Grandy. - Yep.

Oh' this is incredible. I can't believe it. I got everything I ever wanted.

Yeah, Jenna' you got it all. Congratulations.

It's your phone.

- Hello? - Hi, Gramercy calling to confirm...

...your limousine pickup for 8:30 this evening.

My...? Yes, my limousine for 8:30.

I will be prepared to take my ride at that time.

Oh' can you tell me where I'm going?

- Thw Palace, 27 Wall Strwwt. - Thank your.

I'm going to a party in a limo!

Great. Looks like your're back to yourr old self. I should probably go.

- You don't wanna go to the party? - Νo, I gotta work. Thanks.

Shoot, I forgot you have a job.

- It's kind of cool we both have jobs. - Totally.

Well' if you decide your want to come' it's gonna be fun. 27 Wall Street.

Okay, great. Thanks' Jenna. Bye-bye.

Matt.

- Yeah. - What if this isn't jurst a dream?

What if what I wished for acturally happened?

Then you got everything your ever wanted. You might as well enjoy it.

All right, Jenna.

- Matty. - Yeah.

- Arrivwdwrci. - I'll see your.

- Matt. - Yeah.

Au reVoir.

- I'm Jenna' by the way. - Yeah, I know. I'm Becky.

How old are you, anyway?

- Thirteen. - Me too.

Used to be.

Why are your talking to me?

- Why not? We are neighbours, right? - But your usually ignore me.

- I like yourr shoes. - Thanks.

I like your dress.

It's becaurse I've got these incredible boobs to fill it out.

- I like yourr bag. - Thanks.

Your shourId come by sometime. I've got a zillion of them.

- Really? - Yeah, it'd be totally cool.

Hey, Becky?

- Can I ask you something? - Yeah, sure.

Can you tell I'm wearing urnderWear? Becaurse I totally am.

I think that's kind of the point.

Try it. It's soft-shell crab.

Thanks.

Hi, Tom-Tom.

Oh' God' no one's called me that since I had my nose job.

- You had a nose job? - Yeah, and yourrs is better.

Anything to drink' ladies?

- An apple martini. - Can I have a lemonade, please?

Oh' wait. Make it a pina colada, not virgin.

Do your wanna see my ID? Totally have it.

There your two are.

Lurcy' very nice.

Sort of a dangerours mermaid look.

And you.... Barbie meets Britney.

Your look jurst "scrum-didlee-urmpcious"!

I know. I mean, thank your.

Everybody Wang Chung tonight, right?

Here your go.

Thank your.

- I'm sorry, it's late. - We're keeping you up, are we?

It's only 11:00. Stay a while.

It's 11:00 on a school night, and I'm at a party. It's so cool.

It's 11:00 and people are leaving. This is a disaster.

It is?

Speaking of disasters, what is she doing here?

- Who? - Sparkle's editor in chief, Trish Sackett.

Twelve o'clock and headed our Way.

Hi, girls. Ourr J. Lo issue is selling like hotcakes. HoW's yourrs doing?

My God' are things so bad you had to come to our party to eat free food?

Put some crab in yourr purse for later.

Your might want to keep some of that biting wit for your magazine.

Or your could change the name to something more appropriate...

...like Poison or Pitiful. Whatever's more pathetic.

Your know what?

Your are rurde and mean and sloppy and frizzy. I don't like you at all.

Well' forturnately, I don't care about being liked.

- I care about winning. - This is delicious.

Ladies.

Do I smell?

Do I have bad breath?

- Am I malodorous in any way? - Νo.

People seem to be running for the exit like someone set off a stink bomb.

I don't smell anything.

I think he means the party is a stinker.

A durd. A flop. A zero on a scale of one to 10.

Maybe if somebody played something else.

- Something with a melody. - Play Whatever your want.

All I know is if those people don't start dancing really, really soon....

Here's to early retirement.

Matty! Matty' come here.

- Hey. - Matty, come here.

"Thriller." Matty.

Me? Νo' no' no. Take that thing away.

- "Thriller." Come on. - Νo way.

Come on, man! Go!

Jenna' no Way.

Come on, let's go.

I don't remember those moves.

I haven't done this in 15 years. What are you' crazy?

Tear it urp' dude!

- Come on, Matty. - All right, all right.

Okay, here We go.

Go' Arlene!

Come on, let's go! Let's go, Jenna!

Go' Richard!

- Jenna. I'm sorry' I gotta go. - What do you...?

- I'm sorry. - Wait. Don't.

Matt.

Groove on, baby!

I adore you!

- Miss Rink! Miss Rink! - Your credit card. Yourr credit card!

- Thank your. - To being 30.

- I've decided it's gonna be awesome. - Of courrse it is.

Your're thin' you're hot, your can get any guy you want' "biatch."

Νot to mention, biatch' the hottest magazine editor in the world.

Second hottest.

- Tied for first? - Deal.

And speaking of hot....

Mr. Hotty behind you is totally scamming on you right now.

He is not. He's totally curte.

- ShourId I go talk to him? - You're not married.

Good.

Hi.

Could I borrow your ketchup?

Sure.

I acturally came over here...

...becaurse I think you're really cute.

- So do your wanna go ourt sometime? - Yeah. Can you drive?

Time to go. What' do you Wanna go to jail? I meant that guy.

The man? Oh' gross.

Νo more daiquriris for you tonight.

Your can never find a taxi in this neighbourhood.

Oh' my God. It's the naked man.

- Hey' beautiful. - He thinks I'm beaurtifurI?

- Well' he should. He's your boyfriend. - My boyfriend?

Why is that lady asking for my boyfriend's autograph?

Thank your so much.

He may not be the best Νew York Ranger...

...but he's the Ranger with the best ass.

Jenna?

- Oh' my God. Matt. Hi! - Hey.

How are your?

I'm sorry abourt the other night.

- Beaver' is that your? - Hey' Tom-Tom. How are you?

Your lost all yourr baby fat.

- How does the Beave stay Warm? - Yeah, it's good to see you again too.

I almost didn't recognize you. Did you get a nose job?

I can't believe you're here. What are you doing?

I'm... I'm acturally... I'm doing some shopping with my....

Jenna' this is Wendy, my fiancee.

- I'm Jenna. - Matt told me all about...

...his blast from the past. It was really sWeet of you to stop by.

Matty's the sweet one. I don't know what I would've done without him.

- I'm sure you'll be fine. - Are you a photographer too?

I see you guys have spent so much time talking about me.

- Wendy's an anchorwoman. - Anchorperson.

I do the weather for WWEΝ in Chicago.

Matt and I were just talking abourt him finally joining me in the Windy City.

- You're moving to Chicago? - We Were jurst discu...

We haven't really... Is that Alex Carlson?

Jenna' sorry. Sorry I'm late.

Well' hi.

- Hey. Who are you folks? - Hey.

I'm sorry. This is my good friend Matt and this is his friend Wendy.

- Fiancee. - Right. So weird. And this is....

Your're Alex Carlson. Νice to meet you. Your're a great hockey player.

- I'm a big fan. - Thank your.

Your want me to sign yourr shirt or yourr forehead? Νow, I don't do butts.

I'm just joshing you. Sorry.

I crack a lot of jokes affer we win' on accournt of I'm in such a good mood.

Okay, well, We should probably get going.

- Νice to meet you. - Νice to see you folks.

Νice to see you folks. Bye.

Your mind if I steal her from your for the night?

Νope. I had my eye on something a little better inside...

...so I'll see you guys later. Have a good night.

Excurse me one second. Lurcy?

Should I go to his place alone?

Yeah. Why not? Go play. You deserve it.

Play. You mean like games and sturff?

Yeah, games. All kinds of games.

I courIdn't wait to see you tonight.

Your wanna play a game?

- Do you have Battleship? - Yeah, I have Battleship.

I'll show you my destroyer.

- I call the red board. - Well' I call the blue board.

What?

Okay. I know. I forgot.

I owe you one raunchy striptease.

Oh' God.

Oh' gross.

Who's got the moves on the ice and off the ice' ice' baby?

Wait! Wait! Wait! I don't wanna see that thing again. Put it away.

Put it aWay!

God.

We can play Monopoly! We can play Parcheesi!

He didn't have Battleship. He didn't have any games.

Boys are so stupid.

Becky' it's even worse than you think.

How come the ones that your like never like your?

Well' you have to fight for what your want. Rule number one:

Love is a battlefield.

That's deep. Really deep.

- Good luck with fractions. - Have fun at work.

To the office, Tom.

"Fifty-seven ways to have an orgasm."

- I didn't know there were 57. - "Touch-her-there underwear."

Νo.

"He loves you, but...."

- "He loves yourr burtt." - Yes.

- "He lies' he cheats... - So typical.

...what are you doing Wrong?"

There's no easy way of saying this' so I'm just gonna come ourt with it.

The circs are in. Our numbers are dismal.

We're below 600,000 total circulation. Sparkle is closing in on a million.

I've come off the phone with corporate, and they have dropped the R word.

Redesign?

Redesign Poise?

Wait. Sparkle copies everything we come urp With...

...and we have to redesign? That's bullshit.

Well' either We redesign and bring up ourr numbers, or they purII the plug.

Richard, redesign is a death sentence.

Νo, it's not. It's a chance to have some furn.

Let Sparkle have all our secondhand, stale, grody ideas.

We'll open up the F.O.B., overhaurI the B.O.B.

It's time for us to prove we have some poise left.

Well' I shall be leaving it to my dynamic duo...

...to come urp with something utterly fabulours.

We have two weeks, fourr hours and 30 minutes.

- I have yourr urgent messages. - Let's hear them.

Well' okay.

Emily Pratt called and wanted me to tell your:

"I can't believe your scooped my story on Vivienne Tam' you backbiting bitch.

That was a new level of sleaze, even for you.

I hope you die in one of her casural pantsuits."

Oh' my God' that was so mean.

Miss Lewis called. She said, "I hope you choke on your own bile...

...your pretentiours, conniving snake."

- Maybe I shourId read them myself. - Good.

Oh' great.

- Miss Rink's line. - Put that little bitch on the phone now.

Please don't take that tone. I'm just her assistant.

Tell her to call Todd΄

"Sweet bottom, your seem urptight. Let me come over and give you my...."

- Yes. - Alex is on line one, Miss Rink.

Oh, gag me. Can you please tell him I'm busy?

Okay, but he wants to know what time WourId be good for dinner.

How about in 10 zillion years? Ask him how that works.

- Okay, I'll ask. - Okay.

- Yeah? - I'm sorry to bother you again.

- Pete Hansen is here to see you. - Who?

Tracy from the art dwpartment's husband.

Oh' okay. Sure.

I was jurst dropping off Tracy's lunch, thought I'd say hello.

Your brourght Tracy her lunch? That's so sw...

What are you doing?

What's wrong, pooky?

"Pooky"?

Pukey. You're married, and to a girl I work With.

Well' that didn't stop us from rattling some desk drawers loose last week.

So come on. Lie down and take a memo.

Listen' hire the best photographer, and I don't want Jenna to find out.

- Νo. Roger that. - Okay?

God, what is up with her lately, anyway? I mean, she seems so lost.

I have no idea. I'm getting so sick of having her arournd...

...with this crazy new act she has going on.

Your know how she stole Charlotte's idea and then fired her?

I say we go ahead with our own presentation...

...and let her fall on her ass.

Oh' God' yeah.

Okay, your're not Cajun.

- Wanna go for a Walk? - Sure.

I still can't believe your're getting married.

In two weeks.

Is she your sourI mate, Wendy?

My soul mate? I don't know if I believe in those. I think that's kind of naive.

But you get goose bumps when you're around her...

...and butterflies?

Νo, I haven't gotten crazy like that abourt a girl since high school.

Matty.

What...? What happened to urs?

I mean, how come we never stayed friends?

I don't knoW. I forget.

Νo, what happened?

I don't knoW. I can pretty much peg it to your 13th birthday party...

...when your were playing that game. Spin the Rapist?

Seven Minutes in Heaven. Everybody ditched.

And that is the last thing I remember.

We don't have to get into this. It's a long time ago.

- It really doesn't matter anymore. - It matters to me.

Just tell me.

Your came out of the closet...

...and I started to sing my birthday song to your.

And then your picked urp and threw at me...

...with impressive force, I might add...

...the dream house that I spent three weeks building for your.

And then your jurst stopped being my friend...

...and you never spoke to me again affer that, ever.

I'm so sorry.

Forget it, Jenna. It was a long time ago. It doesn't matter.

Matt' stop being so nice to me. I don't deserve it.

Do your know what kind of person I am noW?

Do your know who I am right now? I....

I don't have any real friends. I....

I did something bad with a married guy.

I don't talk to my mom and dad.

I'm not a nice person. And the thing is...

...I'm not 13 anymore.

Jenna.

Behind your.

Oh' it's good to be home.

- Daddy. - Jenna?

What in the world?

- Sweetheart. - I missed you guys so much.

Are your all right?

Mom.

Do your ever wish you courId go back...

...like to another time?

I wouldn't mind giving back some of these wrinkles.

Okay.

If your were given one do-over, anything in your life' what would it be?

Νothing.

- Really? - Really.

But did you ever make a big mistake?

Or a huge one that could change your life? What about that?

Well' Jenna, I know I made a lot of mistakes...

...but I don't regret making any of them.

How come?

Becaurse if I hadn't have made them...

...I WourIdn't have learned how to make things right.

I'm sorry I missed last Christmas.

Carrie' I'm heading ourt, okay?

I'm so exhausted.

- Jenna's Working late. - She has been.

- Hey. - Hey.

I was gonna stop by yourr office. I tried to call you a bunch of times.

- I didn't get any messages. - I was in a hurry.

But I did try to reach your.

I acturally wanted to talk to you abourt this whole redesign thing.

I hope you don't mind' but I've been working on something on my own.

It's really last-minurte.

- I hope you don't mind. - Νo, of course not...

...becaurse I'm doing the same thing.

- Hey' Jenna. - Hey.

Someone's got a big photo shoot going on.

- Yeah. - What's happening?

- Did your bring them? - Oh' yeah' I got a few.

- What are you doing? - I'm hiring your.

Actually' Poise is hiring you for the week.

Here.

This is the first half. The rest when we finish.

I courId really urse this, burt your don't need to do me any favours.

I'm asking you to do me a favourr. I love your work.

I hope you'll do this with me.

Your know, I've seen your magazine. My stuff is not your style at all.

Exactly.

Who gets Francis?

There we go. Okay, let's do it.

Up, up!

- Okay, everybody. - Okay, everybody' climb up there.

Lots of energy.

- All right. Νice. You're the real deal. - Keep up the flag.

All right. Jenna, this is yourr class of 2004.

All right, guys. Ready?

Very good. Very good.

- They're beaurtifurI. - Yeah, they came out okay, hurh?

- I think so. - Yeah.

- Do you? - I do, yeah.

Yeah, it's getting late. I should get home.

It's getting pretty late here.

Your know what I wish I had right now?

Νo, what?

Razzles.

Razzles?

I haven't had Razzles...

- ...in 15 years. - Remember...

- ...they're both a candy and a gurm. - That's incredible.

I can't believe they had them. Okay, don't waste a minurte.

It's been a long time. Careful.

Yeah.

What are you laurghing at?

I don't knoW.

Life. Timing. Being here with you' eating Razzles.

I've had a really great time working with you this week.

- Me too. - And everything.

Yeah.

Hey, Matty.

Tell me something.

What colourr is my tongue?

- What? - What colour is my tongue?

It's red. I don't know. Red.

"Red" red? Or tongue red?

Razzle red.

- ShoW me yourrs. - What?

- Your tongue. I shoWed you mine. - I'm not showing you.

Show me your tongure. I showed your mine.

- I didn't ask to see yours. - Matty, I need to see your tongure.

Razzle red.

Your wanna knoW a secret?

Yeah.

Your're the sweetest gury I've ever known.

I bet I can still beat your off the jump.

Whoever goes the furthest, the other owes a drink.

- An Orange Jurlius. - Upping the stakes.

And dinner Friday night at 8:00...

...at the 24th Street Diner...

...to celebrate our redesign being chosen.

Deal. One.

- Two. - Two.

- Three! - Three!

Are your okay?

I should've tucked and rolled.

I'm getting old.

Νo, your're not, because that means I am.

Well?

- Hey. - Yeah?

Your got arm hair.

It's never quite got that reaction before.

It was like it Wasn't wven mw.

Like I had just...

...watched us down below, kissing.

Then I just floated home on a cloud.

That is so romantic.

- Look. - You've got goose bumps.

I totally know. They won't go away.

Do your love him?

Durh.

When Will you see him again?

I don't knoW, acturally. I don't knoW if I can.

- What? Why? - It's complicated.

It's a groWnurp thing.

Well' at least you have someone to dream abourt.

Guys don't wanna jump yourr bones when you're a metal-mouth.

What is that attitude? We are young.

Heartache to heartache, we stand.

Love is a battlefield.

But I like it like this, with freckle girl and the dog.

- These photos are urnbelievable, Jen. - Okay, here's the dog.

- Francis is the dog's name. - Okay. What do your think?

Well' I think I'm gonna start reading Poise for the first time in my life.

Νo, I got a place I rent in Brooklyn.

That'll Work? All right' I'll see your then. Bye-bye.

Hey. I wasn't expecting to see your...

Wendy. I thourght you were flying in tomorroW.

What, are your expecting someone else?

Νo. Hi.

I wanna take your to lunch. Hungry?

Yeah, yeah. What a surprise.

Okay, where do you...?

- How was yourr flight? - It was good.

You can take pictures of vitamin bottles anyWhere.

And I was jurst thinking that we should try to resolve this now.

Instead of being a commuter couple durring ourr first year of marriage.

What?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Could your...? I missed that.

- Arlene, do your have any more...? - Jenna.

My balls' excurse my French, are in an iron vice.

Corporate are twisting like a bunch of dominatrixes on steroids.

Νow Lucy's presenting her own redesign. Tell me what's going on.

What is going on is your will have more choices.

All respect to Lucy, I'm more anxiours to know what your're Working on.

- Thank your. - I'm not complimenting you...

...I'm trying to pressurre your.

How long urntil yourr balls get totally squished?

Hopefully never. I'm really rather attached to my balls.

Can they hang in there till 5?

Jenna' you are not yourrself at the moment.

Since when do you keep me ourt of the loop? I'm really freaking ourt here.

- The rest of the prints are ready. - Goody. Hang in there.

Why does nobody listen to a word I say?

Arlene' aren't your coming?

Oh' you're invited, are you? Okay, bye-bye.

Oh' no' excuse me. Go ahead.

Your know, what am I? I'm just the...

...editor in chief. Whatever.

We've gotta go to 23rd, please' between 5th and 6th.

- It's 29 West 23rd. - You got it, lady.

The new and improved Poise will explore the last frontier.

It will go heroin chic one better.

It will OD.

It will kill.

Cause of death? Chicness.

The new Poise will go farther than any fashion magazine ever before.

It will be deadly seriours.

Fashion suicide.

So, What do you think?

Thank your, sir.

- How much time do we have? - We have two minurtes. Hurry.

Jeez. Surch a bitch.

I know this is different.

I mean, from anything we've ever done.

And I knoW your might hate it and think I'm completely crazy.

But I won't care, even if I get fired.

And I don't mean that disrespectfurlly' it's jurst that I've realized something.

Who are these women?

Does anyone know?

I don't recognize any of them.

I wanna see...

...my best friend's big sister...

...and the girls from the soccer team.

My next-door neighbourr.

Real women Who are smart and pretty and happy to be who they are.

These are the women to look up to.

Let's purt life back into the magazine.

And fun and laughter and silliness.

I think We all... I think all of urs wanna feel something...

...that We've forgotten or turrned ourr backs on.

Becaurse maybe we didn't realize how murch we were leaving behind.

We need to remember what ursed to be good.

If we don't...

...we won't recognize it even if it hits urs between the eyes.

I just....

Bravo!

Brilliant.

We will present this to corporate first thing tomorrow morning.

- So who's this mystery photographer? - Matt Flamhaff.

Is he Arthur or Martha?

Matt. He's Matt.

Νo, no. Is he gay?

Are your gay?

- City and listing? - Manhattan.

Sparkle magazine on Park Avenure.

- Sparkle maaazine. - Trish Sackett, please.

Jenna' I'm sorry to barge in on you like this, burt I really have to talk to you...

Hey, Beaver.

I mean Matt. I'm sorry.

Old habits die hard, you know.

Fine. Is Jenna around?

Are your here about your photos?

Νo, acturally, I'm not.

I guess I should just tell you...

...that Jenna's decided to go in a different direction...

...with a more established photographer.

She's gonna use the guy who shoots the official photos of her sweetie pie.

So don't take it personally, because there's jurst a little bias.

I'm sorry to be so honest with you, becaurse...

...I think your pictures are really cute.

It was nice talking to your.

Hey, Matt. While I've got your here, do you wanna sign a general release?

Maybe we can use yourr picturres in a catalogure.

Fine.

Hi.

- Jenny' right? - Jenna.

I was looking for Matt.

I wanted to tell him some really great news abourt his photographs.

Everybody loved them.

That's great. I'll tell him When he gets back. He's out getting his tux.

- His tux? - I know. Men.

Everything's the last minurte.

I mean, hello. We're getting married tomorrow.

This'll be the cutest little backyard wedding since I don't know when.

- Congratulations. - Thanks. I'll tell Matt you stopped by.

- Okay. - Bye.

We wanna feel something again that we've forgotten.

Becaurse we didn't stop to notice how murch we were leaving behind.

We need to remember what ursed to be good.

Your ready?

The meeting's cancelled, Jenna.

What, urntil tomorrow?

It's over.

It's over?

Lurcy....

She took all yourr designs to Sparkle. Everything.

She's their new editor in chief.

Yourr photos showed up in Sparkle Online last night.

They're in outdoor ads everywhere.

She can't take Matt's pictures. Those belong to urs.

- She can't do it! - She can, and she is.

She got him to sign this.

Lurcy' you stole Matt's pictures.

Oh' which one do you wanna be today, the pot or the kettle?

If your don't mind, I'd like to be the pot.

Maybe the kettle. It doesn't really matter. They're both black.

- What are you talking about? - I fournd this in your office yesterday.

Does it look familiar? It has yourr name on it.

- You Went through my things? - Oh' give me a break.

How horrible. How terrible. I can't believe I did it.

What is this?

Your can Wipe off the "Bambi watching her mother get shot...

...and strapped to the back of a van" look from yourr face.

I talked to Trish Sackett yesterday.

It's okay, Jenna. I knoW all abourt your little deal.

It's a sweet little deal, actually.

Editor in chief if your help them hit a million copies?

- So your'd give them tips. - Oh' my God.

Νot bad. I jurst wish I would have thought of it.

- Oh' no. - Oh' yes.

Only, now I'm taking your job, your stay here with the magazine...

...your single-handedly flurshed down the toilet.

What abourt Matt?

Why did he sign this? What did you say to him?

Let's see. I think that I told him...

...your had decided to go in a different direction.

Which you are now.

I might have told him something else' too, burt I just can't remember.

George Washington Bridge, Νew Jersey.

Jenna.

- Jenna Rink. - Yeah?

Chris Grandy.

So, What are you doing? Are your married?

Becaurse if you're single, I definitely Want a number.

We could get together.

I'm still living at home...

- Come on, Grandy! Come on. - Holy Christ!

This is the turne we first tangled tongues to.

What's the dude who sings this?

- Rick Springsteen. - It's Springfield' Grandy.

I'm out of here.

I thought you wanted my number.

I'll take these.

Good afternoon.

Your remember' Wayne.

It was with the Flamhaffs at San Ysidro Ranch.

San Ysidro Ranch.

It's so pretty. It's perfect. It looks great.

Hi.

Hey.

I don't knoW what Lucy said to you abourt me, but I Want you to know...

...that Whoever that was she was talking abourt...

...wasn't me.

It doesn't matter what Lucy said.

I stopped trusting her after she stole my Pop Rocks in the third grade.

Matt.

I am not the awfurI person that I know that I was.

I don't even know that person.

And I'd like to believe....

I have to believe that if you knew that...

...if in yourr heart' you really, really knew that...

...your wouldn't be getting ready to marry someone now.

Unless that someone were me.

Jenna' I'm not gonna lie to your.

I have felt things...

...these past few Weeks...

...that I didn't knoW I courId feel anymore.

But I have realized in these past feW days...

...your can't just turn back time.

Why not?

I moved on.

Your moved on.

We've gone down different paths for so long.

We made choices.

I chose Wendy.

That's her family down there.

We care abourt each other, your know?

Your don't always get the dream house' but you get awfurlly close.

Please don't cry' Jenna.

Oh' I'll be fine' I promise.

Matty, can I have it?

Please?

- You're not gonna whip it at me? - Νo.

Look, I Won't have your be late. Just go.

Go on. I'm fine. I'm jurst crying because I'm happy.

I want you to be so, so happy.

I love you, Matt.

Your're my best friend.

Jenna' I....

I've always loved you.

Jenna's waiting for you in the closet.

Matty.

Your really know What you're doing.

Come on.

- Sorry' I forgot my scarf. - You know what?

Your can be the pot and kettle all by yourself from now on' biatch.

Come on, Matt.

- What did you call me? - We're gonna be late.

- For what? - You'll see.

A Razzle' Mr. Flamhaff?

Thank your, Mrs. Flamhaff.