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1
00:00:02,910 --> 00:00:04,311
Moirira and Johnny: (Moans of
passion) Oh yeah! Yeah. Yeah.
2
00:00:04,345 --> 00:00:07,800
David: Could you spare some a...
Oh my go-oh my God!
3
00:00:07,115 --> 00:00:09,149
- Moira: (Shrieks) David!
- Johnny: Where's my robe?!
4
00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:10,317
David: Oh my God. Oh my God.
Oh my God.
5
00:00:10,351 --> 00:00:11,751
Oh my God, what's happening?
6
00:00:11,785 --> 00:00:14,287
I saw hell is what's happening.
Oh my God.
7
00:00:14,322 --> 00:00:16,220
What? (Door opens)
8
00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:17,289
- David: Oh my God.
- Johnny: David,
9
00:00:17,324 --> 00:00:19,726
what you just saw
was your mother and me...
10
00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:21,694
- David: I know what I saw.
- Johnny: having an intimate moment.
11
00:00:21,729 --> 00:00:23,295
- David: I cannot unsee that!
- Alexis: Oh my God, you poor thing!
12
00:00:23,330 --> 00:00:24,664
Johnny: Okay, and I
refuse to feel guilty
13
00:00:24,698 --> 00:00:26,799
about being in bed with my wife.
14
00:00:26,834 --> 00:00:29,350
- Alexis: Ew! Ew! Ew!
- Moira: I hate to be the one to tell you,
15
00:00:29,690 --> 00:00:32,304
but having sex is not just
about making children
16
00:00:32,339 --> 00:00:34,973
so they can grow up and make
you feel bad about having sex.
17
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:36,875
Oh my God,
can you stop this please?!
18
00:00:36,910 --> 00:00:39,178
Moira: I will not be shamed.
Shame on you.
19
00:00:39,212 --> 00:00:40,679
David: Shame on you for
attempting that position
20
00:00:40,713 --> 00:00:41,980
at 8 o'clock in the morning.
21
00:00:42,150 --> 00:00:43,882
- Moira: John?
- Johnny: You know what?
22
00:00:43,917 --> 00:00:46,485
- David: Oh my God.
- Do you know how difficult it is for us
23
00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,687
to share a wall with you two?
24
00:00:48,721 --> 00:00:50,923
- David: I do now.
- Johnny: Yes, well, if you don't mind,
25
00:00:50,957 --> 00:00:52,724
we are now going back
into our room
26
00:00:52,759 --> 00:00:54,626
and don't even think
about opening that door!
27
00:00:54,661 --> 00:00:58,964
- Moira: Are you serious?
- Johnny: Next time.
28
00:00:58,998 --> 00:01:01,499
David: (Under his breath) Oh my God.
(Gags)
29
00:01:01,534 --> 00:01:03,368
Alexis: (Whimpers) No, no, no...
30
00:01:05,646 --> 00:01:07,974
S01E05
The Cabin
31
00:01:07,994 --> 00:01:10,816
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
32
00:01:11,677 --> 00:01:13,144
Johnny: Roland, I just
need the door fixed.
33
00:01:13,179 --> 00:01:14,345
- Roland: Mm-hmm?
- Johnny: Okay?
34
00:01:14,380 --> 00:01:16,181
My family can't keep living
like this.
35
00:01:16,215 --> 00:01:18,749
My wife and I,
we have no privacy.
36
00:01:18,784 --> 00:01:21,919
Okay, all right.
I get what this is about.
37
00:01:21,954 --> 00:01:25,220
You and the wife wanna bump
the old uglies, huh?
38
00:01:25,570 --> 00:01:27,892
Roland: (Laughs)
Johnny: I have no idea what that means.
39
00:01:27,926 --> 00:01:30,661
Having a little problem down there
below there, Johnny boy, huh?
40
00:01:30,696 --> 00:01:32,964
No, there's no problem, Roland,
I just need the locks fixed!
41
00:01:32,998 --> 00:01:35,232
It's okay, I get it.
I get it, captain.
42
00:01:35,266 --> 00:01:36,901
You've been a out to sea
for a while
43
00:01:36,935 --> 00:01:38,502
you wanna bring the boat
into port
44
00:01:38,536 --> 00:01:42,306
and maybe...
get your mast scrubbed.
45
00:01:42,340 --> 00:01:45,242
What're you guys down to now?
Like... twice a day?
46
00:01:45,276 --> 00:01:48,178
Okay, this is a conversation you
and I will never have, all right?
47
00:01:48,213 --> 00:01:50,180
I just need the door fixed.
48
00:01:50,215 --> 00:01:51,615
Well, how 'bout I do you
one better?
49
00:01:51,649 --> 00:01:53,484
We got a cabin up by the lake.
50
00:01:53,518 --> 00:01:56,686
It's just a little love nest
for the lady and me.
51
00:01:56,721 --> 00:01:59,756
You know, when we wanna spark
the old spark from time to time.
52
00:01:59,790 --> 00:02:01,725
My gift to you and yours
for the night.
53
00:02:01,759 --> 00:02:03,927
So generous,
but I'm gonna take a pass.
54
00:02:03,961 --> 00:02:05,962
- Jocelyn: Hey, Johnny.
- Johnny: Jocelyn?
55
00:02:05,997 --> 00:02:08,231
- Jocelyn: How are you?
- Johnny: Uh, good. Good.
56
00:02:08,265 --> 00:02:10,575
Roland: Sex life's in the crapper.
I just offered him the cabin.
57
00:02:10,595 --> 00:02:11,934
That is so not true.
58
00:02:11,968 --> 00:02:14,990
- Jocelyn: I knew something was wrong.
- Johnny: N-nothing is wrong.
59
00:02:14,119 --> 00:02:15,340
You should take the cabin.
60
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:17,573
I wouldn't wanna see your
relationship get any worse.
61
00:02:17,608 --> 00:02:20,943
No, our relationship is fine.
It's just a privacy issue...
62
00:02:20,977 --> 00:02:23,270
Roland: Johnny, Johnny, come
on, come on, come on, come on.
63
00:02:23,470 --> 00:02:26,215
Take the cabin, okay?
64
00:02:26,250 --> 00:02:30,850
And feel free to use
the restraints.
65
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,287
- We keep 'em under the bed, so...
- Johnny: Thank you. Thank you.
66
00:02:32,321 --> 00:02:33,822
- Jocelyn: Pick a safe word.
- Roland: Mm.
67
00:02:33,857 --> 00:02:36,250
Johnny: (Sighs)
68
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,593
I, for one, think we should
take them up on their offer.
69
00:02:38,628 --> 00:02:40,562
I can't believe
what I'm hearing here.
70
00:02:40,596 --> 00:02:43,431
We're talking about
Roland's place.
71
00:02:43,466 --> 00:02:45,800
Who knows what the hell
we're gonna find up there?
72
00:02:45,834 --> 00:02:48,113
Moira: Well, we can't share
any real intimacy here
73
00:02:48,133 --> 00:02:50,148
in this internment camp, John,
74
00:02:50,168 --> 00:02:52,469
and I don't want to turn
into my parents.
75
00:02:52,489 --> 00:02:54,268
Separate beds, separate rooms.
76
00:02:54,288 --> 00:02:55,968
Well, separate countries.
77
00:02:55,988 --> 00:02:57,612
Exactly! A bad marriage!
78
00:02:57,647 --> 00:03:00,848
Hey, if you're willing to give
this a shot, I'm game.
79
00:03:00,883 --> 00:03:02,663
- Moira: You're game.
- Johnny: Yeah.
80
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,153
Moira: Okay. I'll play.
81
00:03:05,187 --> 00:03:08,823
Actually, I have a good feeling
about this, John.
82
00:03:08,857 --> 00:03:11,293
Johnny: You know, I'm starting to
get a pretty good feeling myself.
83
00:03:11,313 --> 00:03:13,194
Are you?
84
00:03:13,228 --> 00:03:15,803
David: Oh my God! Am I being
punished for something?
85
00:03:15,823 --> 00:03:17,964
David, are you dirty
peeping tom?
86
00:03:17,999 --> 00:03:20,349
I don't' think parenting books would
approve of you saying that to me.
87
00:03:20,369 --> 00:03:21,935
I'm here to grab a magazine,
88
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:24,338
and go back and leave you guys
to whatever disgusting...
89
00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:26,405
- Moira: Stay.
- Johnny: Stick around, stick around.
90
00:03:26,425 --> 00:03:28,875
- Moira: Alexis?
- Johnny: Alexis!
91
00:03:29,837 --> 00:03:32,246
They're done!
92
00:03:32,584 --> 00:03:34,447
Your father and I have
some very important news.
93
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,100
If you tell me
that you're pregnant,
94
00:03:36,210 --> 00:03:37,517
I'm gonna vomit
on this floor right now.
95
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,686
- Moira: Oh, can you imagine?
- Johnny: We're planning a trip.
96
00:03:39,721 --> 00:03:43,356
- David: Okay.
- Johnny: Just to a cabin, overnight...
97
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,325
And we request
that the two of you
98
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:48,661
not try to contact us
for the next 24 hours.
99
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:50,909
I really appreciate you
doing that for me.
100
00:03:50,929 --> 00:03:52,587
I'm doing it for us.
101
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,100
Well, it's to my benefit.
102
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,421
Alexis: Um, why don't you guys
stay at the cabin for longer?
103
00:03:56,441 --> 00:03:58,221
Oh, I would never just
abandon you two
104
00:03:58,241 --> 00:04:00,340
in a motel
in the middle of nowhere.
105
00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:02,406
David: Didn't you once take the
wrong baby home from preschool?
106
00:04:02,426 --> 00:04:04,657
Alexis looked Chinese
as an infant.
107
00:04:04,677 --> 00:04:06,812
How many times
must I defend myself?
108
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,847
So we're good then? Thank you.
109
00:04:08,881 --> 00:04:10,616
- David: No, thank you.
- Johnny: No, thank you.
110
00:04:10,650 --> 00:04:13,831
- David: Honestly, thank you.
- Johnny: Enough, David!
111
00:04:13,851 --> 00:04:17,589
Moira: Thank you so much for the
loan of your cabin and your truck.
112
00:04:17,624 --> 00:04:19,725
Roland: Looks like you folks
got a lot of gear here, huh?
113
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,993
Is that the tickle trunk?
(Smarmy laugh)
114
00:04:22,270 --> 00:04:24,896
It's just clothes.
115
00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:26,497
Roland: Yeah, okay,
but just keep in mind
116
00:04:26,531 --> 00:04:28,399
there's only 60 amp
service there,
117
00:04:28,433 --> 00:04:29,968
so don't be pluggin' a lot
of gadgets in all at once,
118
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:31,402
if you know what I mean.
119
00:04:31,436 --> 00:04:33,872
Yet another disturbing look
into his world.
120
00:04:33,906 --> 00:04:36,207
Roland: All right, directions.
121
00:04:36,242 --> 00:04:38,609
Super easy, Johnny.
Here's what I want you to do.
122
00:04:38,644 --> 00:04:41,879
Okay, I want you take highway 10
to Loon Lake Road north, okay?
123
00:04:41,913 --> 00:04:43,460
I want you to take
a right there.
124
00:04:43,810 --> 00:04:44,582
There's gonna be a split
in the fence,
125
00:04:44,616 --> 00:04:46,850
I want you to go left
at that split, and keep going.
126
00:04:46,885 --> 00:04:49,587
Go through the intersection
of Loon Lake Road south, okay?
127
00:04:49,621 --> 00:04:51,155
And then you're gonna find
Pine Road.
128
00:04:51,189 --> 00:04:52,823
Now you go up Pine Road,
I want you take a right
129
00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:54,158
at that big oak tree, all right?
130
00:04:54,192 --> 00:04:55,760
It's old, it's big,
you can't miss it.
131
00:04:55,794 --> 00:04:57,194
You go down the hill to the left
132
00:04:57,228 --> 00:04:58,128
and we're the third cabin
on the right, okay?
133
00:04:58,163 --> 00:04:59,396
The key's under the mat.
134
00:04:59,430 --> 00:05:02,332
- Johnny: Got it.
- Moira: Really?
135
00:05:02,366 --> 00:05:04,234
Johnny: Key is under the mat.
136
00:05:04,269 --> 00:05:07,404
So I think I'm gonna go
next door
137
00:05:07,438 --> 00:05:09,863
because your mess
is making me anxious.
138
00:05:09,883 --> 00:05:12,920
What mess?
139
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,785
David: You know how clean my
apartment was in New York.
140
00:05:13,805 --> 00:05:15,815
It was so clean.
It was really clean.
141
00:05:15,835 --> 00:05:17,447
Well, it was very clean
142
00:05:17,481 --> 00:05:20,820
because you had a maid
to keep it very clean for you.
143
00:05:20,117 --> 00:05:23,219
No. I kept it clean
after Cecilia cleaned.
144
00:05:23,253 --> 00:05:28,224
Anyway, I think it's best if we
just take some space and um...
145
00:05:28,258 --> 00:05:30,159
I am looking forward
to sleeping in a bed
146
00:05:30,194 --> 00:05:34,197
that his not...
made for a toddler.
147
00:05:34,231 --> 00:05:38,140
Okay. I'll just chill here
in my own space and...
148
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,203
David: Yeah.
149
00:05:40,237 --> 00:05:42,738
Alexis: Maybe I'll do a
mask or something and...
150
00:05:42,772 --> 00:05:45,101
check in with myself
and see how I'm doing...
151
00:05:45,121 --> 00:05:46,875
Okay, so we're good?
152
00:05:46,909 --> 00:05:50,312
- Alexis: Yeah.
- David: Okay. See you tomorrow.
153
00:05:50,347 --> 00:05:52,481
Okay. (Door closes)
154
00:05:56,850 --> 00:05:58,854
(Bedding rustles)
155
00:05:58,888 --> 00:06:02,900
(Relaxing sigh,
book pages rustle)
156
00:06:07,696 --> 00:06:09,898
(Door creaks shut)
157
00:06:10,484 --> 00:06:12,159
I'm out of mask.
158
00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:16,916
I was so bored in there!
159
00:06:16,936 --> 00:06:19,400
I'm sorry to hear that.
160
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:22,172
Alexis: Okay, so I think that we should
take advantage of mom and dad being gone.
161
00:06:22,192 --> 00:06:22,984
David: I am.
162
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:24,865
Alexis: Okay, but like
throwing a party or something.
163
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:25,664
David: No. Absolutely not.
164
00:06:25,684 --> 00:06:27,948
Alexis: Just a tiny, little,
casual motel party.
165
00:06:27,983 --> 00:06:30,451
Okay, Alexis, I have no
interest in finding out
166
00:06:30,486 --> 00:06:34,321
what types of people are attracted
to "casual motel parties."
167
00:06:34,356 --> 00:06:36,523
Alexis: But you do have an
interest in lounging on a bed
168
00:06:36,557 --> 00:06:38,658
that mom and dad
have had sex all over?
169
00:06:38,693 --> 00:06:39,826
David: Why would you do
that to me right now?
170
00:06:39,861 --> 00:06:43,397
David, I just... I miss my life!
And I miss doing things.
171
00:06:43,431 --> 00:06:45,866
And I miss being surrounded
by loose acquaintances
172
00:06:45,901 --> 00:06:51,511
who think that I'm... funny,
and smart, and charming.
173
00:06:52,207 --> 00:06:54,841
Will you? Just a few people.
Please. You can't tell me
174
00:06:54,876 --> 00:06:56,242
that you don't wanna hang out
with people other than me.
175
00:06:56,277 --> 00:06:58,645
- David: Obviously.
- Alexis: Okay, so...?
176
00:06:58,679 --> 00:06:59,756
- David: Okay, fine. Something small.
- Alexis: Yes!
177
00:06:59,776 --> 00:07:01,314
David: Like a little games night.
178
00:07:01,348 --> 00:07:02,982
Yes, like a small,
little games night party.
179
00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:05,184
No. Like a little games night
period.
180
00:07:05,219 --> 00:07:07,200
Okay, fine. And then, if it
turns into something else,
181
00:07:07,540 --> 00:07:08,522
it turns into something else.
182
00:07:08,556 --> 00:07:10,230
Well, it won't 'cause there's
only six people invited.
183
00:07:10,570 --> 00:07:11,956
Any more and game play
gets too yelly.
184
00:07:11,976 --> 00:07:14,632
It gets very yelly.
185
00:07:15,662 --> 00:07:17,363
Okay, this party is gonna be...
186
00:07:17,398 --> 00:07:18,464
- David: It's not a party.
- Alexis: awesome!
187
00:07:18,498 --> 00:07:20,705
- David: It's not a party.
- Alexis: So. Much. Fun!
188
00:07:20,725 --> 00:07:22,430
I'm so excited!
189
00:07:24,949 --> 00:07:26,426
(Door bangs shut)
190
00:07:27,206 --> 00:07:30,750
(Insects chirp, birds Twitter)
191
00:07:30,109 --> 00:07:31,948
(Truck rumbles to a stop)
192
00:07:34,414 --> 00:07:37,316
(Engine cuts out,
doors creak open and bang shut)
193
00:07:39,953 --> 00:07:44,820
Johnny: Hey, not bad!
Rustic but nice, huh?
194
00:07:45,428 --> 00:07:47,351
The great outdoors, Moira.
195
00:07:47,371 --> 00:07:49,828
I am shocked and delighted.
196
00:07:49,862 --> 00:07:52,331
Yes. I have to say
I was nervous about this,
197
00:07:52,365 --> 00:07:57,302
but I've gotta hand it
to Roland, he came through.
198
00:07:57,655 --> 00:08:00,738
He's moron!
(Pots and dishes clatter)
199
00:08:00,773 --> 00:08:02,373
Key's under the mat, is it?
200
00:08:02,407 --> 00:08:04,108
The key is under the mat!
(Ripping sound)
201
00:08:04,142 --> 00:08:07,512
Agh! That's great!
Lying son-of-a...
202
00:08:07,546 --> 00:08:11,248
(pan crashes on floor)
Agh! Idiot man!
203
00:08:12,180 --> 00:08:13,512
Moron!
204
00:08:13,532 --> 00:08:16,420
Ha! Oh, good.
205
00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:18,771
- Moira: John?!
- Johnny: Yeah! Coming, honey!
206
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:20,757
I'm coming.
207
00:08:21,452 --> 00:08:23,900
(Blows out his breath)
208
00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:27,870
(Lock clicks)
209
00:08:30,203 --> 00:08:32,903
Well hellooooo.
210
00:08:32,937 --> 00:08:37,574
Oh, my car broke down
and it's raining,
211
00:08:37,609 --> 00:08:41,211
and I wondered
if I might spend the night.
212
00:08:41,245 --> 00:08:44,481
Well, first let's get you
out of those... dry clothes
213
00:08:44,516 --> 00:08:48,184
and we'll see where
the night takes us.
214
00:08:48,219 --> 00:08:50,946
David: So I need to flesh
out this games night thing.
215
00:08:50,966 --> 00:08:52,489
Between you and my sister,
216
00:08:52,523 --> 00:08:55,125
and the barn guy and that girl
in the restaurant, we have 5,
217
00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:57,727
and obviously we need an even 6
for ultimate game play.
218
00:08:57,761 --> 00:09:00,463
Stevie: Well, what if
I'm not a games person?
219
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,673
David: We're far too similar
for you not to be, so...
220
00:09:02,693 --> 00:09:04,678
Options, please.
221
00:09:05,301 --> 00:09:06,903
Obviously they need
to be funny, and smart,
222
00:09:06,937 --> 00:09:08,638
and have well-rounded
sense of humour
223
00:09:08,672 --> 00:09:10,239
and a wide range of knowledge.
224
00:09:10,273 --> 00:09:12,675
Oh, all those types of people
move away from here.
225
00:09:12,709 --> 00:09:15,645
- David: That's funny.
- Stevie: No, I'm serious.
226
00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:17,880
- Stevie: Ooh, what about Eric?
- David: Hmm?
227
00:09:17,915 --> 00:09:19,682
He finished high school.
228
00:09:19,716 --> 00:09:21,816
I don't love his look.
229
00:09:21,851 --> 00:09:24,953
Oh, looks are important? Oh...
Why don't we throw a pageant?
230
00:09:24,987 --> 00:09:28,190
Trust me, if I had time,
we would, but we don't, so...
231
00:09:28,224 --> 00:09:30,625
What about Sarah?
She's cute and speaks english.
232
00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:32,394
Hmm? Mm...
233
00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:36,398
She get it?
234
00:09:36,433 --> 00:09:39,500
- Stevie: Get what?
- Like "get it" get it. It, like the vibe.
235
00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:42,502
Understand that games night
needs to run a certain way,
236
00:09:42,522 --> 00:09:44,694
otherwise it won't work.
237
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:48,400
Can I be on your team?
You sound really fun.
238
00:09:50,379 --> 00:09:51,713
David: Listen, you don't have to
help me out if you don't want to.
239
00:09:51,747 --> 00:09:53,493
- David: I can find someone else.
- Stevie: Really?
240
00:09:53,513 --> 00:09:55,649
- David: Mm-hmm.
- Stevie: Okay.
241
00:09:55,684 --> 00:09:58,553
- David: Well, it's-okay.
- Stevie: Have fun.
242
00:09:58,587 --> 00:10:01,355
- David: Okay.
- Stevie: My money's on the other team.
243
00:10:01,390 --> 00:10:03,403
(Receding footsteps,
cars rumble by)
244
00:10:12,428 --> 00:10:14,999
(door opens)
245
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,999
David: Hi. (Door clicks shut)
246
00:10:18,350 --> 00:10:20,301
Can I help you?
247
00:10:20,336 --> 00:10:23,472
Yeah, I just uh...
Came to apologize.
248
00:10:23,506 --> 00:10:25,440
For what?
249
00:10:25,475 --> 00:10:28,343
For uninviting you
to games night.
250
00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:30,845
You did not uninvite me.
I uninvited myself.
251
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,248
Mm-hmm. Okay, well, um...
252
00:10:33,282 --> 00:10:35,329
I would really like it
if you came
253
00:10:35,349 --> 00:10:37,986
and I would really love it
if you could bring...
254
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:41,720
one other person
of your choosing.
255
00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:45,693
So it doesn't matter
if they don't blend?
256
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:47,602
M-mm-mm.
257
00:10:47,622 --> 00:10:50,163
And this doesn't have anything
to do with the fact
258
00:10:50,198 --> 00:10:52,566
that you couldn't find
anybody else to come?
259
00:10:52,601 --> 00:10:55,603
(Scoffs) No. What? No. I...
260
00:10:55,637 --> 00:10:58,773
You are a very bright,
funny person,
261
00:10:58,807 --> 00:11:01,574
with a wide range
of useful knowledge
262
00:11:01,609 --> 00:11:04,227
and the fact that
we don't have an ideal number
263
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:08,215
for team style game-play,
is not... not why I'm here.
264
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:10,555
You're such a liar.
265
00:11:10,575 --> 00:11:12,685
And I was bluffing
when I said I wasn't coming.
266
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:15,355
I just wanted to see you beg,
so...
267
00:11:15,390 --> 00:11:16,956
- David: Okay.
- Stevie: I'll put out some feelers,
268
00:11:16,990 --> 00:11:18,458
but, you know,
such short notice,
269
00:11:18,492 --> 00:11:20,493
all the town hotties
will have plans.
270
00:11:20,528 --> 00:11:23,730
I'll see you tonight!
Yeah, thanks.
271
00:11:23,764 --> 00:11:25,745
- David: Thank you.
- Stevie: Welcome.
272
00:11:29,331 --> 00:11:34,706
Moira: This place is almost charming.
Very rustic cottage.
273
00:11:34,741 --> 00:11:37,760
I was half expecting
early unibomber.
274
00:11:37,110 --> 00:11:40,313
Johnny: Oh, look!
Roland and Jocelyn.
275
00:11:40,347 --> 00:11:41,860
Moira: Who are the other two?
276
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,216
Johnny: Well, that's Bob.
He's on the town council.
277
00:11:44,251 --> 00:11:45,974
Moira: And his partner?
278
00:11:45,994 --> 00:11:48,720
Roland has gay friends!
Again, shocked and delighted.
279
00:11:48,755 --> 00:11:50,422
I think that's his wife.
280
00:11:50,457 --> 00:11:52,691
Moira: No, they're
both called husband.
281
00:11:52,725 --> 00:11:55,360
Look at the them smiling away.
282
00:11:55,394 --> 00:11:57,696
What have they got to be
so happy about?
283
00:11:57,730 --> 00:11:59,865
Johnny: Well, they have no money issues.
That's why they're so happy.
284
00:11:59,899 --> 00:12:01,879
Yeah, they just don't know
any better.
285
00:12:01,899 --> 00:12:04,302
(Birds sing, crickets chirp)
286
00:12:04,337 --> 00:12:07,119
David: So, Eric,
287
00:12:08,707 --> 00:12:10,808
how do you know Stevie?
288
00:12:10,843 --> 00:12:12,810
Eric:
She used to be my babysitter.
289
00:12:12,845 --> 00:12:14,745
Great. Wow. Okay.
290
00:12:14,780 --> 00:12:17,615
And how are your...
Trivia skills?
291
00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:19,184
- Eric: My what?
- David: Oh my God.
292
00:12:19,218 --> 00:12:21,652
Okay. Good choice. Good choice.
293
00:12:21,687 --> 00:12:23,654
(Knock at the door)
294
00:12:23,689 --> 00:12:25,389
Alexis: (Squeals excitedly)
295
00:12:25,423 --> 00:12:27,458
(Door opens)
296
00:12:27,493 --> 00:12:31,295
You guys came. Together.
That's so cute! Come in!
297
00:12:31,329 --> 00:12:33,731
Twyla, you look amazing!
298
00:12:33,765 --> 00:12:37,201
Mutt, you look like
a mill dollars.
299
00:12:37,235 --> 00:12:38,735
Twyla: Okay, so I brought
this pie from work
300
00:12:38,769 --> 00:12:40,637
but on the way, I realized
I didn't check what kind
301
00:12:40,671 --> 00:12:42,506
so there's a 50/50 chance
there's meat in it.
302
00:12:42,540 --> 00:12:43,840
Alexis: Oh my God, that's so cute.
Thank you.
303
00:12:43,875 --> 00:12:46,243
David: Okay, so it's 8:15.
It's 8:15.
304
00:12:46,277 --> 00:12:49,246
We should have started at 8.
So... fifteen minutes late,
305
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:52,949
let's sit down and I will...
explain the game.
306
00:12:52,984 --> 00:12:55,652
Alexis: And I would just like to
thank everybody so much for coming.
307
00:12:55,686 --> 00:12:58,287
This is the first social thing
that I've done
308
00:12:58,322 --> 00:13:02,225
in like a really long time,
so let's just have so much fun
309
00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:03,887
and we'll just see
where the night takes us.
310
00:13:03,907 --> 00:13:06,496
David: Well, it'll take us to a three
part games night that ends at 10.
311
00:13:06,531 --> 00:13:08,640
Alexis: Okay, well, we'll see.
312
00:13:08,980 --> 00:13:09,699
- David: Okay, so let's start.
- Alexis: Okay.
313
00:13:09,734 --> 00:13:12,968
David: Let's start by putting
down 10 famous names
314
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:15,527
onto the pieces of paper
in front of you.
315
00:13:15,547 --> 00:13:18,541
Mutt: I don't think I can fit ten
names on this piece of paper.
316
00:13:18,575 --> 00:13:21,444
David: That's funny. That's funny.
No. One per piece of paper.
317
00:13:21,478 --> 00:13:24,582
Ten pieces of paper, ten names.
318
00:13:24,602 --> 00:13:26,382
- Eric: Who should I put down?
- David: I can't tell you that, Eric,
319
00:13:26,417 --> 00:13:27,983
'cause that would wreck
the game.
320
00:13:28,180 --> 00:13:29,518
Eric: So then how do
I know what to put?
321
00:13:29,553 --> 00:13:31,200
- David: Oh my God.
- Stevie: (Whispers) Relax.
322
00:13:31,540 --> 00:13:32,621
Twyla:
Can you put yourself down?
323
00:13:32,656 --> 00:13:34,990
Alexis: Oh, okay, who wants a shot?
Because I do.
324
00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:38,293
David: No, we need to finish
putting the names down first.
325
00:13:38,327 --> 00:13:40,328
(Knock at the door)
David: Who's that?
326
00:13:40,363 --> 00:13:43,298
Alexis: Okay, I may or may not
have invited a few other people.
327
00:13:43,332 --> 00:13:45,567
- David: What kind-who?
- I don't know. I met them on the way home.
328
00:13:45,601 --> 00:13:48,537
(Running footsteps,
door clicks open)
329
00:13:48,571 --> 00:13:50,338
- Alexis: Hey!
- Dane: Hey.
330
00:13:50,373 --> 00:13:51,573
- Alexis: How are you?
- Dane: Good, good.
331
00:13:51,607 --> 00:13:53,241
- Alexis: Good. Hey!
- Dane: Hey, kids.
332
00:13:53,276 --> 00:13:55,643
Stevie... Mutt... Twyla.
333
00:13:55,678 --> 00:13:57,412
- Stevie: Hey, Dane.
- David: Who the... Bleep... is this?
334
00:13:57,447 --> 00:14:00,949
He's the worst, okay?
So just breathe through it.
335
00:14:00,983 --> 00:14:04,351
David: Hi. David Rose.
Oh... 'Kay.
336
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:09,356
So we have split into teams and that's
an odd number, so we're... stuck.
337
00:14:09,391 --> 00:14:11,492
No worries. We're here for
the party. Keg's in the truck.
338
00:14:11,526 --> 00:14:12,794
What kegs? No one ordered a keg.
339
00:14:12,828 --> 00:14:15,429
David, can you please
not be rude in front of...
340
00:14:15,464 --> 00:14:17,364
- Dane: Dane.
- Alexis: Dane?
341
00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:18,665
- Eric: So now what?
- David: (Jumps) Oh, God!
342
00:14:18,700 --> 00:14:21,435
In the bowl, Eric.
Put them in the...
343
00:14:21,470 --> 00:14:22,570
(Papers rustle, pen clatters)
344
00:14:22,604 --> 00:14:24,338
(Crickets chirp)
345
00:14:26,928 --> 00:14:29,610
- Johnny: Wow.
- Moira: Yeah.
346
00:14:29,644 --> 00:14:32,313
I can't see out of one eye.
347
00:14:32,347 --> 00:14:34,447
But I'm still alive,
that's the main thing.
348
00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:37,951
(Sighs) I'm hungry.
Should I go get...
349
00:14:37,986 --> 00:14:42,623
No! No. You don't have to get anything.
350
00:14:42,657 --> 00:14:46,265
I will get some food,
I will get the wine.
351
00:14:47,695 --> 00:14:51,655
You... have done more
than enough.
352
00:14:51,675 --> 00:14:53,462
(Wine glasses clink)
353
00:14:58,533 --> 00:15:00,933
Bob: Oh good, you're done.
354
00:15:00,953 --> 00:15:04,511
We uh... we didn't wanna
interrupt.
355
00:15:04,785 --> 00:15:06,479
Johnny: What're doing here?
356
00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:09,715
Bob: Oh, just finishing off the
latest Harold Zable novel.
357
00:15:09,750 --> 00:15:13,241
- (Chuckles) You ever read him?
- How long have you been here?
358
00:15:13,261 --> 00:15:15,554
Quite a while.
359
00:15:15,588 --> 00:15:18,702
Yeah, you seemed to have a little
trouble there, getting going.
360
00:15:18,722 --> 00:15:20,626
And, uh, well, we uh...
361
00:15:20,661 --> 00:15:24,380
We didn't think you needed
the extra pressure on you, so...
362
00:15:24,580 --> 00:15:26,231
Gwen: Oh, hi! You're good.
363
00:15:26,266 --> 00:15:27,832
Moira: And you are?
364
00:15:27,867 --> 00:15:30,302
Bob: I'm Bob, this
is my wife Gwen,
365
00:15:30,336 --> 00:15:33,938
and, uh, this is our cabin.
366
00:15:33,973 --> 00:15:37,142
Johnny: Oh, no, no, no. This
is Roland and Jocelyn's cabin.
367
00:15:37,177 --> 00:15:39,278
Gwen: No, they're a
mile up the road.
368
00:15:39,312 --> 00:15:43,140
Bob: Big tree, a fence.
You can't miss it.
369
00:15:43,490 --> 00:15:45,884
(Awkward silence, Johnny sighs)
370
00:15:45,918 --> 00:15:47,451
David:
She died! She's a dead person!
371
00:15:47,486 --> 00:15:49,520
- Twyla: Marilyn Monroe!
- David: No! She helps people!
372
00:15:49,555 --> 00:15:51,422
- Twyla: Oprah.
- Stevie: Calcutta! Calcutta!
373
00:15:51,456 --> 00:15:53,124
- David: Calcutta! The lepers!
- She's the mother... She's a mother...
374
00:15:53,159 --> 00:15:54,592
David:
It's not your turn, Alexis!
375
00:15:54,626 --> 00:15:55,827
- Twyla: Princess Diana.
- Stevie and David: No! She's...
376
00:15:55,861 --> 00:15:57,562
David: The lepers in
Calcutta, she helps them.
377
00:15:57,596 --> 00:15:58,804
- Stevie: Lepers! Lepers!
- David: There's all these lepers.
378
00:15:58,824 --> 00:15:59,763
Alexis:
Stop yelling at her though!
379
00:15:59,798 --> 00:16:01,199
David: It's the point of
the game is the yell!
380
00:16:01,233 --> 00:16:03,301
She's a mother
and has your cousin's name.
381
00:16:03,335 --> 00:16:05,269
Twyla: Teresa?
382
00:16:05,304 --> 00:16:06,937
- Twyla: Mother Teresa!
- Alexis: Yes!
383
00:16:06,971 --> 00:16:09,207
David: You can't say mother!
You can't say mother!
384
00:16:09,241 --> 00:16:11,609
- Mutt: She wasn't getting it.
- David: That's the point!
385
00:16:11,643 --> 00:16:13,744
Anyway, no points for them.
We have to start this again.
386
00:16:13,778 --> 00:16:15,913
- Dane: This party's terrible.
- David: Excuse me?
387
00:16:15,947 --> 00:16:17,915
Alexis: Okay, so then, hey, why
don't we do something else,
388
00:16:17,949 --> 00:16:19,349
like a drinking game.
389
00:16:19,383 --> 00:16:21,418
David: No! Absolutely not!
390
00:16:21,452 --> 00:16:24,221
Every time the vein in my brother's
eye twitches, we take a drink.
391
00:16:24,255 --> 00:16:26,850
David: Why would you bring up my
eye in front of all these people?
392
00:16:26,105 --> 00:16:27,290
(Knock at the door)
393
00:16:27,325 --> 00:16:29,559
- David: Who is that?!
- Alexis: Calm down.
394
00:16:29,594 --> 00:16:31,261
Dane thought he should just invite
over a few more of his friends, so...
395
00:16:31,295 --> 00:16:32,362
- David: Oh, did he?
- Alexis: Yeah.
396
00:16:32,396 --> 00:16:33,763
Dane: Who's up for strip poker?
397
00:16:33,797 --> 00:16:35,632
David: Okay, you know what?
I'm out. No, that's it.
398
00:16:35,666 --> 00:16:37,664
I'm gonna call it a night.
I'm gonna pack it in.
399
00:16:37,684 --> 00:16:39,369
Eric, don't look at my eye!
400
00:16:39,403 --> 00:16:40,803
Alexis: Why are you being
such an old woman?
401
00:16:40,838 --> 00:16:43,390
I'm sorry that I wanted
to have fun tonight
402
00:16:43,730 --> 00:16:44,974
and invite a few random guys over and
try and make out with them, okay?
403
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,343
You're not the only one
dying in this town.
404
00:16:47,377 --> 00:16:50,446
It is boring and I am just
trying to make the best of it.
405
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:53,716
I'm really sorry everybody.
No offense, okay?
406
00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:55,517
Twyla: I'm well-versed
in family conflict...
407
00:16:55,552 --> 00:16:57,120
David: I'm sure you are. Alexis?
408
00:16:57,154 --> 00:16:59,588
If you want to party,
have a party.
409
00:16:59,623 --> 00:17:02,824
But I have a queen bed
next door with my name on it
410
00:17:02,859 --> 00:17:06,595
and I have been looking forward to
sleeping in that bed all day, so...
411
00:17:06,630 --> 00:17:08,297
Mutt: Maybe we should go.
412
00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:11,433
Alexis: No. You know what, guys?
It's totally fine.
413
00:17:11,468 --> 00:17:14,603
David, I would love it if you
would come and party with us,
414
00:17:14,638 --> 00:17:16,972
but it's totally up to you.
415
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,741
David: And I'm totally gonna go.
So everybody have a good night.
416
00:17:19,776 --> 00:17:21,409
I don't know who you are!
417
00:17:21,443 --> 00:17:23,411
Dane, put that down
and get off my bed!
418
00:17:23,445 --> 00:17:26,826
No one on my bed tonight.
And don't-no one throw up!
419
00:17:26,985 --> 00:17:28,283
(Door slams shut)
420
00:17:28,317 --> 00:17:31,219
So his eye twitched five times,
so drink up, bitches!
421
00:17:31,254 --> 00:17:33,255
- Guys: All right!
- Alexis: Woo!
422
00:17:33,289 --> 00:17:35,723
Dane: Shots! All right.
Ready and...
423
00:17:35,758 --> 00:17:38,359
Johnny:
And once again, my apologies.
424
00:17:38,394 --> 00:17:40,495
Moira: And I'm sorry, I don't
know how to make a bed.
425
00:17:40,529 --> 00:17:43,464
Johnny: And I may have
damaged your corkscrew, Bob.
426
00:17:43,499 --> 00:17:45,633
Bob: You broke it in half.
427
00:17:45,668 --> 00:17:47,502
(Door rattles
as Johnny struggles)
428
00:17:47,536 --> 00:17:50,271
Johnny: Okay, the door, it won't open.
The door won't open.
429
00:17:50,306 --> 00:17:51,572
- Bob: It's locked.
- Johnny: Oh, it's locked.
430
00:17:51,607 --> 00:17:53,440
Moira: What do you want from us?
431
00:17:53,474 --> 00:17:56,567
Bob: Yes, it's... it's
locked to prevent strangers
432
00:17:56,587 --> 00:17:59,460
from coming into the cabin.
433
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:03,462
See, uh, we didn't realize
that, uh, strangers
434
00:18:03,899 --> 00:18:07,221
would already be in the cabin
when we locked it.
435
00:18:07,919 --> 00:18:09,802
Johnny: I see. Oh. Okay.
436
00:18:09,921 --> 00:18:11,430
Moira: Bye!
437
00:18:11,630 --> 00:18:13,260
- Johnny: There we go.
- Moira: Thank you. Bye.
438
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:17,750
Johnny: You've been consummate
hosts, really. Fantastic day.
439
00:18:20,818 --> 00:18:22,290
(Door bangs shut)
440
00:18:22,546 --> 00:18:24,722
(Music plays)
441
00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:26,572
Twyla: Hey, Mutt, can you
pass me a drink? Um...
442
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,939
(Door bangs shut,
muted chatter through door)
443
00:18:27,959 --> 00:18:30,676
- Stevie: Sorry. Hey!
- David: Hi!
444
00:18:31,572 --> 00:18:33,239
Here's the thing.
445
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:37,866
Um, I'm sorry that you and
your sister are in a domestic,
446
00:18:37,886 --> 00:18:40,860
and I'm sorry that
I invited Eric.
447
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,363
That joke was funnier in theory.
448
00:18:42,383 --> 00:18:43,783
Bad joke.
449
00:18:43,803 --> 00:18:45,858
But I'm gonna need you
to come back in there.
450
00:18:45,878 --> 00:18:46,959
David: Why?
451
00:18:47,258 --> 00:18:50,429
Because I don't really
like most of those people
452
00:18:50,464 --> 00:18:52,832
and, believe it or not,
we are in the middle
453
00:18:52,866 --> 00:18:56,266
of a very intense game
of drunken charades
454
00:18:56,286 --> 00:19:00,605
and my team is losing. Badly.
455
00:19:01,161 --> 00:19:03,425
Well, that's not really
my thing.
456
00:19:03,445 --> 00:19:04,983
It's not my thing either,
457
00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:06,745
but you were right;
We're way too similar
458
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:10,349
and I am having
a very hard time losing, so...
459
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:13,759
I will happily let you
get back to this big queen bed
460
00:19:13,779 --> 00:19:15,920
if you'll just help us win
a few more rounds.
461
00:19:15,954 --> 00:19:17,822
Just need somebody sober.
462
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:19,957
- David: I can't...
- Stevie: Please.
463
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,250
Go back in there.
It's embarrassing.
464
00:19:22,270 --> 00:19:24,529
They are way too drunk
to remember.
465
00:19:24,963 --> 00:19:26,730
(Sighs)
466
00:19:26,765 --> 00:19:29,633
Just two winning rounds
and then it's over.
467
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:32,751
Then you can go back
to your book.
468
00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:34,705
- David: Fine. Fine. Two rounds.
- Stevie: You can go back to sleep.
469
00:19:34,739 --> 00:19:36,206
- David: Quick. Quick rounds.
- Stevie: Thank you.
470
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,791
- David: Fine.
- Stevie: Thank you.
471
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,411
Stevie: And just don't look
at the stain on your bed,
472
00:19:40,445 --> 00:19:41,978
and we'll mime
something special.
473
00:19:42,130 --> 00:19:44,548
- David: What stain?
- Stevie: Uh...
474
00:19:44,582 --> 00:19:46,490
David: You're lucky I'm
good at this game.
475
00:19:46,830 --> 00:19:49,128
- Dane: Yes! A mexican...
- Alexis: Just get this one!
476
00:19:53,466 --> 00:19:56,215
Moira: Are you sure you don't want to
call a tradesman or someone, John?
477
00:19:56,235 --> 00:19:58,904
Moira, I don't need a tradesman.
478
00:19:58,938 --> 00:20:01,539
I can handle a screwdriver,
okay?
479
00:20:01,574 --> 00:20:05,363
This is working out just...
fine.
480
00:20:05,859 --> 00:20:08,979
(Grunts of effort)
And... that... is... in.
481
00:20:09,140 --> 00:20:12,198
Look at this.
(Opens and closes door)
482
00:20:12,590 --> 00:20:14,538
Instant lock.
483
00:20:15,530 --> 00:20:17,622
Moira:
Yes, let me tell you, Eddie.
484
00:20:17,656 --> 00:20:21,553
You look awfully good
in that blue collar.
485
00:20:22,459 --> 00:20:25,395
Johnny: (Voice-breaking twang) Well,
thank you very much, Mrs. Rose.
486
00:20:25,430 --> 00:20:28,432
I don't often get compliments
when I'm fixing doors.
487
00:20:28,466 --> 00:20:31,836
Oh, Edward,
I'm afraid I must tell you,
488
00:20:31,870 --> 00:20:34,851
I shan't be able to pay
you today.
489
00:20:34,871 --> 00:20:37,928
(Voice-breaking twang)
Well, that's okay, Mrs. Rose.
490
00:20:37,948 --> 00:20:42,979
Maybe there's um...
some other way you can pay me,
491
00:20:43,130 --> 00:20:45,181
if you get my drift.
492
00:20:45,216 --> 00:20:47,484
(Door rips open,
lock jingles uselessly)
493
00:20:47,518 --> 00:20:49,752
Did you take my mask?
494
00:20:53,797 --> 00:20:55,770
Thank you.
495
00:20:57,610 --> 00:20:58,848
(Door bangs shut)
496
00:21:01,156 --> 00:21:05,490
(Voice-breaking twang) Well, maybe
I'll use a bigger screw, Mrs. Rose.
497
00:21:05,690 --> 00:21:06,970
Don't you go anywheres.
498
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,660
Moira:
I'll be right here, Eddie.
499
00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:13,898
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
37877
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