Original subtitles

Subtitles by explosiveskull

Bubblegum Teddybear?

Yes. Hi.

I'm Jeff87. Or just Jeff is fine.

Bubblegum Teddybear.

So your parents were Mr. and Mrs. Teddybear?

When my mom was in her 40s,

she got her doctorate in philosophy.

Ah. So she had a few quirks.

So they were Mr. and Dr. Teddybear.

Okay. Wow.

I'd sure like to party with those guys.

I wish you could.

Painful right?

I guess you hold a certain amount of the power

when a first date is terrible

because you're the one making it terrible.

I know. I'm coming off as such a weirdo.

Which is odd, because I'm not a weirdo.

I'm ridiculously unremarkable.

And it's certainly not his fault.

I mean...

Jeff and I should get along great.

He's also ridiculously unremarkable.

Maybe I'm not ready to be dating again.

Hey Davey?

Will you show the next reel?

Yeah.

Uhh...

Okay. Umm...

Okay. So.

This will all make a whole lot more sense

once you know a couple things about me.

My parents died a while ago.

Oh. Poor little damaged lady.

She's so messed up and mysterious.

No.

I'm not.

Shut up.

I'm not special.

Parents die.

If yours haven't already, then they're

going to die soon. Just look at how old they are.

Gross.

Okay.

So, the other thing you need to know about me...

This is me back in Kansas.

I'm waiting for a ride

to my boyfriend's funeral.

The funny thing is

this is the strongest memory I have

of that wretched day.

And I couldn't tell you why

but I remember feeling in this moment like

Scarlett O'Hara.

Fiddle dee dee.

I'm not the type to delude myself

or fill my head with misconceptions

I'm not going to tell you he was the perfect man

or my soulmate

or some such ipecac.

We probably would have

broken up just like everybody does.

But then he-

So...

Where are you from?

Died.

People will try to tell you that

as long as you remember them,

your loved ones are never really gone.

That you always have a piece of them in your heart.

Maybe that's true, but

the opposite is also true.

If I love someone and they die

a part of me dies with them.

Sup?

Nuzibundin

There she is.

Burn the witch!

Burn her!

Have you seen Mickey?

Sorry. I can't help.

Is he in your place?

Who?

I don't know anyone named Nikki.

Mickey.

I'm sure I don't know anyone named Mickey.

Hey Davey? Will you put on the Mickey reel?

I don't have it ready to go.

Can you give me a few minutes to find it?

No problem.

I haven't been to Yoga since I left Kansas.

So. I'm probably due to check it out.

I've got the Yoga clip right here.

Yeah. Could you put that one on?

I'm here for the 10 o'clock class.

Namaste.

Have you ever taken a class with us before?

Not at this studio.

Could you please fill out this form?

I have a few questions for you.

Have you ever had any heart problems?

I've done Yoga lots of times.

Can I ask where you're from?

I can't quite place your accent.

I don't have an accent.

Midwest?

The first class will be ten dollars.

Miss...

Teddybear?

We recommend that you drink plenty of water.

You forgot to fill out your email address.

No one ever recommends that you don't drink water.

Mmm-hmm.

Namaste.

Namaste.

Alright, you dogs.

Get your faces down on the mats.

Keep your chin up, dipstick.

Watch your balance, moron.

Focus.

Focus.

Focus. Focus.

And now

we will have a few moments of peaceful silence.

Peaceful silence

peaceful silence, peaceful silence...

Not now.

Davey?

Do you have that Mickey reel?

So, your parents were Mr. and Mrs. Teddybear?

Mister and Doctor.

That's great.

Listen.

Can I tell you something?

Okay.

I'm having a really nice time with you.

You're kidding.

Not at all.

I don't know how your last boyfriend treated you.

Dead.

Or if your parents raised you in some weird way.

Also dead. Everybody's dead.

But I can tell you've been hurt.

Death. So much death.

I'm sure you're a tough woman.

But I think you're putting up

an even tougher exterior.

I see so much more in you.

Oh no.

Davey, can you get me out of here?

I think you're just...

Don't.

Beautiful.

Ugh. He's at lunch.

I said you're beautiful.

Yeah. I caught that.

I'm not beautiful.

Sure you are.

I don't want to argue about it.

Sorry.

Sorry I said you're beautiful.

Don't ever call me beautiful.

Look. Dude, I get it.

You're trying to pay me a compliment.

Or whatever.

You need to know

that beautiful isn't something

that everyone strives to be.

I am actually morally opposed

to being a human being who

radiates beauty outwardly.

That makes no sense.

Every morning

I look in the mirror and I say,

'You are not beautiful. You are not beautiful.'

It's my mantra.

Sometimes, it's the high point of my day.

You want me to tell you that you're not beautiful?

Do you want me to tell you

that you're not beautiful?

Bubblegum?

Everything okay?

I'm fine. He called me beautiful.

Uh oh.

Well?

Well what?

Do you want me to tell you

that you're not beautiful?

I don't want you to tell me anything.

You saw that?

You don't know what you're doing here

but I do.

You're here

because you're grasping at connection.

You need to know

that other spirits are haunting this land.

We're all around you.

Just reach out.

I just want you to give it a chance.

Nice!

Shut up, Davey.

I know why I'm here.

I'm here with you because there were technical

problems with the Mickey reel.

You're not giving it a chance.

I don't know if I can.

Huh?

You probably are an interesting guy.

I don't know.

But I haven't said one normal thing this whole time.

You just sit there. You know?

It's hard to respect it.

I wish you would just get up and leave.

And go. And find a girl who wants

to be called beautiful.

Go and be happy.

I could respect that.

I had this friend

back in Kansas who was a photographer.

She knew all about soft lights and soft focus.

She would take pictures

of fat people and make them look thinner.

She'd make people look younger.

She hid aspects of their appearance.

And emphasized others.

She made people look beautiful.

I am this and I never want to be beautiful.

I especially never want to be made beautiful.

I had a nice time with you tonight, Buffy.

Me too, Biff.

Is it okay if we park here?

For a while?

I mean, it's okay if you need to go home or...

Oh.

Anything or...

If you want.

You look really pretty tonight.

What was that?

I'm sorry.

I think there are coyotes out there.

There's no coyotes around here.

Bubblegum.

Yes?

I have the Mickey reel.

I'm sleeping.

Wake up.

I just had the strangest dream.

What happened?

I never remember my dreams...

...something about seatbelts?

So? Do you want me to run this?

Yeah. Go ahead.

So.

Bubblegum Teddybear.

My name is Bubblegum Teddybear.

Everyone is dead.

I'm from Kansas but I don't like

people to know that because

it irritates me when someone says

I don't think we're there anymore.

I'm not beautiful because beauty is a thing

that should be taken in, not projected out.

Do you want to go see a rock and roll show?

These guys are friends of yours?

The guy is my neighbor.

The... singer?

I have no idea.

Huh.

He doesn't know I'm alive.

I think I'm gonna go.

This is the greatest thing

I've ever seen in my life.

We are Mickey and the Slippers. Thank you.

Thank you. Good night.

Hi.

You guys were awesome.

That was so much fun.

I'm your neighbor.

Hi.

I'm Mickey.

I know.

I've been waiting for this reel my whole movie.

I'm Bubblegum Teddybear.

Of course you are.

This is Ingrid.

I'm a performance artist.

This is Babette.

I'm a prop.

Bubblegum.

Bubblegum.

You wanna go to a party?

Davey, that's way too far ahead!

Sorry.

That's better.

You wanna go to a party?

Umm...

I don't think I should.

Why not?

I'm terrified.

Give it time.

Hey Bubblegum.

Watch this.

How?

Nice to meet you Bubblegum.

You know how every time you love

someone, they die?

Mickey changed everything.

And before you get ahead of me...

Mickey and I don't fall in love.

I promise.

Is that him at the door?

Mickey.

He's the guy who made life interesting

and my dreams boring.

I'm actually dreaming right now.

You're not beautiful. You're not beautiful.

You're not beautiful.

It's 11:30.

Barry?

What are you doing here?

Gary.

I shouldn't have to have to walk away from you

to earn your respect.

I was polite to you.

And nice.

I was even pretty charming.

Everybody's nervous on a first date.

What do you want from me?

Do you know how to use a French press?

Yeah.

Prove it.

I'll be right back.

I'm going to go get cleaned up a bit.

I think you owe me an apology.

Do you mind?

The guy who shows up at my house

uninvited and wakes me up,

is worried about drinking some of the coffee

he made for me.

You see? That right there.

You are so rude to me.

I can't stop thinking about

how impolite you are.

I don't deserve to be treated like this.

I...

I need to get into the arts.

I want to be an artist.

Do you paint?

No.

Can you draw?

Not really.

What kind of artist are you going to be?

I'm...

I'm sorry.

I was rude to you.

I wanna be a rock and roll

performance artist kind of artist.

Go to Amsterdam.

Have a fun life.

I have a cousin that went to Amsterdam.

Everyone has a cousin who went to Amsterdam.

I want to be the cousin.

Boyfriend?

No.

Gary.

Bye.

Hey.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Going out.

Wanna come?

So tell me about yourself.

I...

...can move things with my mind.

What's the biggest thing

you ever tried to move?

South America.

I tried to make it West America,

but the thing wouldn't budge.

Pity.

I can also start fires with my mind.

I bet that comes in handy.

So...

So.

So tell me about you.

How is it?

It's perfect.

I collect astronaut trading cards.

Sounds fulfilling.

It's a passion.

In my life.

Okay, now tell me something true.

I thought hanging out with you would be fun

Turns out, it's not.

Not that true!

I'm sorry. That was really rude of me.

I don't know where that came from.

That was perfect.

No really. I'm sorry.

I don't know where that came from.

Let's start over.

Absolutely.

So, what do you do?

My parents were well off.

When they died, everything they had became mine.

I don't know what's going to happen

when I die.

I don't have a will.

I don't do anything.

I thought I wanted to work with animals.

What would you say is your greatest strength?

I'm a hard worker.

I work well individully

or in a group.

And what would you say is your greatest weakness?

I have a violent temper.

Will you tell me about a time when you

had a lot of stress at work

and what did you do to manage

the sitution?

I've never known how to answer that question.

No one does, right?

One time, it was somebody's birthday

and there was a cake.

But I didn't want any cake.

Everyone kept asking me

why didn't I want any cake

and was I sure I didn't want any cake.

And, "Shouldn't you be having some cake?"

"Why don't you want any cake?"

I ate a piece of cake.

I'm dying.

I can't seem to place your accent.

I don't have an accent.

They were in a car accident.

We were together for two years.

I've never stopped loving her.

I hope she'll show up again one of these days.

But I also hope she doesn't show up here.

You know?

He just stopped breathing.

Bubblegum?

Bubblegum!

Give me a few more minutes to be alive.

What is that?

Nothing.

It's Davey.

He's trying to change the scene.

You can hear Davey?

Yeah. I can see him too.

He's that guy up there in the booth.

What's he doing up there?

He's a metaphor.

What do you want, Davey?

I have the Ingrid reel.

Oh.

Okay, I like this one.

Go ahead.

Wait.

Is he, like,

watching me all the time?

Get your own metaphor.

Hey Bubblegum, can I talk you for a minute?

Uh.

Sure.

Hey.

There's nothing between me

and Mickey. I was just...

I don't know what I was doing.

Oh. Yeah. I know.

There's nothing going on

between me and Mickey either.

Really?

Yeah.

He's still in love with that mystery woman

from the other side of the proverbial

train line.

Line?

Uh. Who is she?

Huh?

Oh. Right. My line.

Who is she?

Listen.

I got a chance to go back home

and haunt some old friends in New York.

It's to good for me to pass up.

You're leaving?

It's up to you.

I don't want to mess up the band.

I want you to replace me.

I can't do what you do.

It's easy.

All you have to do is become a magnet

for all of creation's beauty

and for all that is grotesque.

You reflect this to everyone

as the music dictates.

Ah.

I'll show you.

Are you allergic to flour?

I don't know.

You would know.

How do I look?

I think you need a little eyeliner.

You're not beautiful.

You're not beautiful. You're not beautiful.

You're grotesque.

Hi?

Hi. It's me.

Bubblegum?

What are you doing in there?

Come. See. My band.

You learned music?

YOU LEARNED MUSIC?

What?

I'm supposed to invite everyone I know

but I don't know anyone.

7 o'clock. Tonight.

Okay. Okay.

Wouldn't you rather

come over on this side with me?

Check this out.

Dude.

That was so much fun.

It was a very good night.

When we did Photocopy Love Notes,

I completely forgot the choreography.

And I tried to look at Babbette and

the light was shining in my eyes.

I couldn't see a thing.

I just had to wing it.

And so at the end of the song

the whole audience cheered.

Cheered.

We were rock stars.

It was rad.

It was heaven.

It's a fine line

A what?

A fine line.

Between rad and heaven.

Line?

Where is Babette?

Huh?

Oh.

Thanks Davey.

Where is Babette?

I don't know.

She left with that guy.

What guy?

That guy.

At the show?

Which one?

I don't know.

He came by himself and left with Babette.

Davey, can you show my insecurity?

So, Babette.

That's an unusual name.

Is it French?

Oui.

Tell me about your parents.

They're still totally alive.

And they love me so much.

I can call them any time I want.

You're so beautiful.

I really am.

It's the best.

And I am still so in my twenties.

Beautiful and young.

And I am totally going through

a hussy phase right now.

What are you doing?

I'm practicing.

If I'm ever in a movie

and I need to wake up from a nightmare.

That was fun.

Do you think Babette is

prettier than me?

Oh yeah.

She's much, much prettier than you.

I see.

I don't mean that in a bad way.

I mean, you're pretty...

in an ex-girlfriend kind of a way.

What way is that?

You know when you're dating a woman

and you think she's

the prettiest woman in the world

and you want to kiss her and kiss her

and want to kiss her a million more times?

And then you break up with her

and you never want to kiss her again.

But isn't she as pretty

as she ever was?

Yes. Exactly.

Super pretty.

In an all-kissed-out kind of a way.

And that's you.

Super pretty.

But boys don't want to kiss me.

No.

Some of them do.

All of them want to kiss Babette.

I mean...

Look at her.

Say something nice to me.

You're a rock star.

Hell yeah.

Hey Bubblegum.

Come on in.

Yeah. I called him.

So what?

I was just going to make some coffee.

Do you want some?

Do you have anything stronger?

Sure.

Did you have a nice time last night?

Oh yeah.

I meant to tell you.

You guys were great.

Really, really fun.

I still can't dance though.

Yeah.

Thanks.

It was fun.

I didn't see you after the show.

I didn't think I was

invited to the party.

What party?

Isn't there always a party afterwards?

Barely.

So what did you do?

Came home.

By yourself?

You're jealous.

I'm not.

Who is it?

Who is the girl that makes you jealous?

I'm not jealous.

Tell me...

and I'll tell you if she's still here.

I'm not jealous of any woman.

Especially one with a fake French name.

Yeah.

You of all people

should totally make fun of people's names,

Bubblegum Teddybear.

Is she here?

Who?

Babette.

Bubblegum.

Look at me. No.

I have never known anyone named Babette.

I came home alone last night.

You and I are in the middle

of an incredibly passionate love affair.

I've known about it for some time.

But you've only realized it recently.

Love is stupid.

Try this:

I can't do that.

No one can.

Try.

No.

Like this:

I tried. I can't.

Please.

It's important to me. Try again.

You did it.

I thought you don't like

being called beautiful.

I don't.

I shouldn't have had all that coffee.

Hang on.

I'm coming out.

Well, this just won't do.

I've read all the books.

I've seen all the movies.

I know about structure.

This was my life.

This is my movie.

I don't want it to be some...

Tragedy.

Things are starting to go well for me.

And they're only going to keep getting

better and better

until the very end

and then, POOF!

Death and misery.

Well, I won't have it.

Davey?

Yeah?

What else have you got

ready to go up there?

I don't know.

Um.

A bunch of stuff.

What do you want?

Pain and misery.

I want everything to wrong

and be awful

until the very end.

And then, POOF!

I'm Cinderella.

Okay. Ummm.

I've got...

Bubblegum and Gary...

fall in love.

That's exactly what I don't want.

In fact, destroy it.

Okay, there's...

Bubblegum Looks in the Mirror,

Macaroni and Cheese,

Bubblegum Goes to the Store,

Bubblegum Finds Money,...

Those all sound boring.

Uh... Bubblegum and Gary Don't Kiss...

Yes.

What's that one?

Put that one on.

I hate this.

Just watch.

Are you sure we don't kiss?

It looks like we're about to kiss.

I want to kiss you Bubblegum.

Barf.

No.

Yay.

What's the problem?

You annoy me.

That's because

you don't know how irritating you are.

You are far, far more annoying

than I am.

No, no, no.

Stop this.

See?

You don't kiss.

That was way worse.

That was exactly the wrong

kind of awful.

What else to you have up there?

Okay.

There's um...

Bubblegum Makes Peace With the

Demons of Her Past,

Citizen Kane,...

Citizen Kane?

Yeah.

Oops.

Uh... That's mine.

Everyone says I should watch it.

Ugh.

All of these end badly for me.

Is Citizen Kane in public domain?

Nope.

Fine.

Put on Mac and Cheese.

That's my place back in Kansas.

I know.

This is boring.

I know.

Oh wow.

That's it.

I never had strong opinions about

macaroni and cheese.

But he loved the stuff.

I wanted to make

some for him when he got back home.

But.

He never came back home.

Bubblegum?

I just...

I just have to get out of here

for a little while.

You're not beautiful.

You're not beautiful. You're not beautiful.

Mickey?

Bubblegum?

I'm in here.

What are you doing?

Lydia's here.

Not here, here.

But here.

Lydia?

The one?

The one.

So you're, um, getting ready for her?

Having a little bath?

What are you doing here?

I got scared.

Where's Gary?

You know Gary?

How long was I gone?

Best advice:

Find him.

I don't want any. Love.

Can't I just...

...avoid him until Lydia gets here?

She's behind you.

Bubblegum, Lydia...

...Lydia, Bubblegum.

You are the most beautiful thing

I have ever seen

in heaven or on Earth.

Hello Bubblegum.

I can't place your accent.

I don't have an accent.

Of course not.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to disrupt your

throughline.

Line?

Well, it looks like you two have plans.

I should be going.

Huh?

Well, um.

It looks like you two have plans.

I should be going.

Maybe we can all catch up later?

Later gator.

I'd like that.

It was nice to meet you, Bubblegum.

I didn't watch the Falling in Love reel.

Is that us?

Are we a thing?

Where is this going?

We need to talk.

That old line.

Line?

We do need to talk.

We do need to talk.

No.

We have talked about it.

Maybe you don't remember every reel,

but I do.

You push me away.

And push me away.

What do you think is going to happen

if you keep pushing?

I just don't want another tragedy.

Forget all that.

Just tell me

once and for all

how you feel about me.

Aren't you just

supposed to me tell me

that it's all gonna be alright?

It's all going to be alright.

It's not though.

You think that

doom and despair is coming

because you're not miserable

in this moment.

But you don't know.

Maybe this is

the worst moment in your life.

Maybe you'll die

when you close your eyes.

I'm fine.

Gary?

What can I do for you?

Maybe

on the next arbitrary holiday

you can

rush to meet me at an

arbitrary place.

Like at 8:00 PM.

It'll be 7:59

and I'll be sure you're not coming.

And then you'll show up.

And then I'll know.

Really know.

That it's all going to be okay.

You're really not making this easy for me.

What do I like about you again?

I'm interesting

and I take beauty in.

Now close your eyes.

There's this canal in Amsterdam.

I've seen pictures of it.

I can see it in my head.

And I'm

projecting it into your head

right now.

Can you see it?

Yeah.

I think so.

I've seen pictures like that before.

Good.

Meet me there.

At 8:00 PM.

On the next arbitrary holiday.

Sure.

Hey.

If your lead singer gets a girlfriend,

does your band break up?

That's not the hardline.

Line?

Bubblegum.

Come here for a minute.

You've got to see this.

Hey Bubblegum. Come here for a minute.

You've got to see this.

Huh?

No. Really.

Come here.

Okay. Hang on.

Who are you talking to?

It's Davey.

He's a metaphor.

I'll be right back.

You have to stop pushing me away.

I'm in love with you.

I...

What?

Look.

Why is that there?

I don't know.

I didn't design the place.

I just work here.

Hey Davey.

Can you get me out of here

if I run into any trouble?

Prolly.

I'm going to lunch now, though.

Merci.

So.

At last you have come to visit me.

Oui.

And?

Très bien.

I cannot place your accent.

Je suis American.

Ah.

Let me know if you'd like another drink.

Yes. What is it?

That is the question, isn't it?

Why are we here?

Why is anything anything?

You may not have the answer to this question.

But I do.

Life is pain.

And meaningless.

You are here to throw away love

and joy into the gutter

until you are lying in the gutter

in your own suffering.

Yes.

Meaningless. All of it.

What is it you want?

A life full of love?

An end without tragedy?

Oui.

Oui.

Then there are two things

you must do.

Embrace the moments

that are not meaningless

in this tragedy that was your life.

Et?

Stay out

of French Basements.

Ah. No, no.

Not that way.

That is my bedroom.

Au revoir

Bubblegum.

Au revoir, French Bartender.

Where'd he go?

Davey?

C'est la vie.

I'll be right back.

You have to stop pushing me away.

I'm in love with you.

I'll be right back.

Stop pushing me away.

I'm in love with you.

I'll be right back.

Stop pushing me away, Bubblegum.

I'm in love with you.

I'm in love with you too, Gary.

I love you.

I love you, Gary.

I'm in love with you too, Gary.

How hard would that have been?

No way.

This isn't good.

Bubblegum?

In here.

Whatcha doin'?

Packing.

Bunch of headbands?

Check.

Old lady underwear?

Check.

Passport?

I think it's still in the car.

What's up?

Nothing.

Lydia wanted me to

see what you were doing.

She hopes that you don't

think she's too weird.

Dude. I think she's perfect.

I'll tell her you said that.

Go ahead.

Where're you going?

Amsterdam.

Do you know how to get there?

Go to Europe and turn left.

That shouldn't be too hard.

Do you need a ride?

I don't think you can

drive to Amsterdam.

Are you really leaving?

When are you coming back?

What airline?

Airline?

I'm coming back.

Don't worry about me.

There's just something I have to do.

Did you catch that?

Yeah.

'kay bye.

Do you need help?

No. I got it.

Bubblegum, what is the matter?

Hi.

Hi?

What is with "Hi?"

I need to get to Holland in a hurry.

Can I please go through your bedroom?

To catch a train from France?

If it's not too much trouble.

Young lady.

I cannot understand a word

you are saying.

Ah.

Yes. Of course.

What does it matter to me?

Merci.

It couldn't have been Paris, right?

Beautiful.

Hey, Davey?

What time is it?

Thanks.

Hey!

What.

He's coming.

Fiddle dee dee.

Tragedy.

Again.

Maybe it's enough to stay out of

French Basements.

I'll just embrace the small moments of...

Bubblegum.

Subtitles by explosiveskull