Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,380 --> 00:00:05,880
"Abby's" is filmed in front
of a live, outdoor audience.
2
00:00:07,250 --> 00:00:09,790
- Three bucks.
- Hold on.
3
00:00:09,820 --> 00:00:11,350
I got a proposition for you.
4
00:00:11,390 --> 00:00:12,940
Fine. Quickly.
5
00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:15,440
I am here on this stool
every night for five hours.
6
00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:17,360
I haven't missed a day in three years.
7
00:00:17,390 --> 00:00:19,920
Yes, you're the Cal Ripken
of low-grade alcoholism.
8
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,530
Thank you.
9
00:00:22,570 --> 00:00:24,300
I believe my being on this stool
10
00:00:24,330 --> 00:00:26,450
creates a festive drinking atmosphere,
11
00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:28,160
and I should be compensated for that.
12
00:00:29,570 --> 00:00:30,820
With free drinks.
13
00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:33,860
What you got there, Beth?
14
00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:35,480
Dartboard.
15
00:00:35,510 --> 00:00:38,020
I bought it for my boys,
but, uh, five minutes in,
16
00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:41,150
they were just throwing darts
at each other's faces,
17
00:00:41,180 --> 00:00:44,040
laughing and screaming,
blood everywhere.
18
00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:47,660
I think they might be
legitimate psychos.
19
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:50,900
And I might be a terrible mom.
20
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:52,940
Oh, well.
21
00:00:53,660 --> 00:00:54,920
Abby, can we keep it?
22
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,350
I'm not sure how the scoring works,
23
00:00:56,370 --> 00:00:57,980
but I'm willing to waste a
lot of time on the Internet
24
00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,300
trying to figure it out.
25
00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:02,300
I mean, I got a dentist
appointment tomorrow,
26
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:04,160
but other than that,
I ain't got nothing...
27
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:05,940
for months.
28
00:01:05,980 --> 00:01:07,600
I wanna hear pros and cons. Go.
29
00:01:07,660 --> 00:01:10,610
Pros: it... it's darts.
It's fun. Case closed.
30
00:01:10,650 --> 00:01:12,480
- Yeah.
- Uh, con:
31
00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,340
drunk people throwing pointy things.
32
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,150
- Big con.
- Yeah.
33
00:01:16,190 --> 00:01:18,590
Pro: you don't have to be
athletic to be good at it,
34
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,380
and I'm saying that
because I'm not athletic.
35
00:01:20,890 --> 00:01:23,020
I'm big, so people assume I am,
36
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:24,149
and then they get me on the field,
37
00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:25,860
and they be like, "Nah."
38
00:01:26,340 --> 00:01:29,600
Con: darts feels kind of British.
39
00:01:29,620 --> 00:01:30,680
- Ew.
- Hold on, though.
40
00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:31,720
Is darts British?
41
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,220
Are you fact-checking me, Fred?
42
00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:37,960
No, I'm just... I... I'm not
sure that darts is British.
43
00:01:37,980 --> 00:01:39,649
Well, I mean, you're
either fact-checking me,
44
00:01:39,650 --> 00:01:41,920
or you're just, uh...
45
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,300
talking.
46
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:46,650
Come on, Fred, do it. Don't
let her psych you out.
47
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,000
Yeah, Fred, go for it.
48
00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,560
- It's fine. Do it.
- Don't. Don't do it.
49
00:01:49,580 --> 00:01:50,890
Fine. Challenge!
50
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,019
- Ha!
- Ha! You idiot.
51
00:01:53,020 --> 00:01:54,440
To the books.
52
00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:55,900
You feeling confident?
53
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:57,920
Yes.
54
00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:02,850
Okay, here we go.
55
00:02:02,860 --> 00:02:06,300
"Darts: created in 1896
56
00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,340
by a Lancashire carpenter."
57
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,600
And where is Lancashire, James?
58
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,340
Lancashire... uh...
59
00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:17,100
No, James. That was rhetorical.
60
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:18,740
Lancashire is obviously in England.
61
00:02:18,770 --> 00:02:21,600
It's a very English word. I'm right.
62
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,440
In accordance with rule number seven,
63
00:02:24,470 --> 00:02:26,400
the punishment for losing a challenge,
64
00:02:26,420 --> 00:02:32,060
I present you with one sugary,
disgusting, lime-flavored
65
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,040
not-beer. Enjoy.
66
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:36,540
Ugh. The smell.
67
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,700
Why do people do this to alcohol?
68
00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:44,000
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
69
00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:50,440
Abby, wait.
70
00:02:50,450 --> 00:02:51,660
Can we keep the dartboard?
71
00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:52,720
I'm okay with it as long as
72
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:53,900
you figure out a good place to put it.
73
00:02:53,980 --> 00:02:56,800
- How about the back fence?
- No, that's too low.
74
00:02:56,820 --> 00:02:58,100
You need something eye level.
75
00:02:58,160 --> 00:02:59,440
What if we asked Skip to move?
76
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:01,720
I'm not asking Skip to do anything.
77
00:03:03,380 --> 00:03:05,390
He might yell.
78
00:03:05,430 --> 00:03:06,900
And I don't like confrontation.
79
00:03:06,940 --> 00:03:08,319
You're the bouncer.
80
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,120
I know. It's messed up.
81
00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:12,670
Excuse me.
82
00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:13,940
Where can I find Abby?
83
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,480
- Ooh.
- Well.
84
00:03:15,550 --> 00:03:18,140
Buddy, you don't just waltz in here
85
00:03:18,170 --> 00:03:20,140
and ask for Abby.
86
00:03:20,180 --> 00:03:21,949
Drinking here is a coveted honor.
87
00:03:21,950 --> 00:03:23,540
You have to work your way up the ladder.
88
00:03:23,940 --> 00:03:26,700
Yeah, there's a vetting
process for new people.
89
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,840
First three weeks, you're
on the back benches.
90
00:03:29,260 --> 00:03:30,879
You keep your voice down.
91
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:33,240
You drink what Abby tells you.
92
00:03:33,260 --> 00:03:34,890
- Actually, I...
- Too loud.
93
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,120
Half that. Eyes down.
94
00:03:37,590 --> 00:03:39,530
And after three weeks, if you're chill,
95
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,560
you move on to the
random chairs section.
96
00:03:42,980 --> 00:03:44,530
Yeah, you stick it out at the chairs
97
00:03:44,570 --> 00:03:46,400
- for three to six months...
- Mm.
98
00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,040
You're a full-fledged member.
You can sit at the bar.
99
00:03:49,070 --> 00:03:50,220
It's a bit of a process,
100
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:52,300
but once you're in, you're family.
101
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,540
You never drink alone again.
102
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,820
What the hell are you talking about?
103
00:03:59,220 --> 00:04:01,980
You... what is this? Who
are all these people here?
104
00:04:02,060 --> 00:04:04,640
This is Abby's. This is where we go
105
00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:06,620
to drink and hang out,
'cause we like it.
106
00:04:06,660 --> 00:04:09,420
- Who are you?
- Bill. I'm Abby's landlord.
107
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:12,880
What? No, you're not.
108
00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:14,200
My landlord is an old lady.
109
00:04:14,230 --> 00:04:15,250
James, kick him out.
110
00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:17,700
No, this is not my new sweater.
111
00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:21,740
This is my... it's my first
time wearing it here.
112
00:04:21,780 --> 00:04:24,920
Yeah, so, your former landlord, Alice,
113
00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:26,540
passed away. She left me this house.
114
00:04:26,580 --> 00:04:27,960
I'm her nephew, Bill.
115
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,780
Is this a bar in my aunt's backyard?
116
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,360
What?
117
00:04:35,580 --> 00:04:37,999
No, no. These are all just...
118
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,190
my friends.
119
00:04:39,220 --> 00:04:40,560
- Yep.
- Yeah.
120
00:04:40,570 --> 00:04:42,120
Just people who happen
to know each other.
121
00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:43,170
- Emergency contacts.
- Yeah.
122
00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:44,380
We just, like, hang out like this,
123
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,000
- all together in a group.
- Mm-hmm.
124
00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:47,440
With a cash register.
125
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,900
I collect old cash registers,
as do many other people.
126
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:54,000
- What people?
- People that...
127
00:04:54,740 --> 00:04:56,400
I shouldn't have jumped in.
128
00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:00,040
- Could I get a beer, please?
- Sure, man.
129
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,100
Here you go.
130
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:03,360
Okay, it's three bucks, right?
131
00:05:03,380 --> 00:05:05,380
Whoa. Whoa, there, friend.
132
00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:06,960
Why are you giving me money?
133
00:05:08,420 --> 00:05:10,300
Mi casa es su casa.
134
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,119
Weird move... giving
her money for a beer
135
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:16,140
in a social, non-business situation?
136
00:05:17,220 --> 00:05:18,260
Who does that?
137
00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:20,320
Just drink the beer, man.
138
00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:29,340
No, this is a bar... on my property.
139
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:31,080
I mean, this is super illegal.
140
00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:32,160
You gotta shut this down right now.
141
00:05:32,180 --> 00:05:35,120
Look, you weren't
expecting this. I get it.
142
00:05:35,140 --> 00:05:36,610
But before you rush to judgment,
143
00:05:36,650 --> 00:05:37,980
let me at least show you around.
144
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,380
I mean, it's... it's really great.
145
00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:40,440
It's not scary at all.
146
00:05:40,450 --> 00:05:41,580
"Show me around"?
147
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,060
I mean, this is a small rectangle,
148
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,860
and I'm very tall. I can see everything.
149
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,060
- The chairs, the...
- Just bear with me?
150
00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:50,190
Okay.
151
00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:52,230
Um, all right.
152
00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:54,260
Over here. When I first moved in,
153
00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:56,540
there was this creepy
fountain thing over here,
154
00:05:56,550 --> 00:06:01,640
so I junked it, and I brought
in this cool vintage jukebox.
155
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:03,050
You know, my uncle carved that fountain
156
00:06:03,060 --> 00:06:04,400
out of a single piece of stone.
157
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,819
It was there to commemorate
a World War II battle
158
00:06:07,820 --> 00:06:09,160
where he lost his best friend.
159
00:06:11,010 --> 00:06:13,360
And now it's a jukebox.
160
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:14,880
What kind of music do you like?
161
00:06:14,890 --> 00:06:15,990
I like jazz, actually.
162
00:06:17,950 --> 00:06:19,740
You, uh, not a fan?
163
00:06:19,860 --> 00:06:22,590
Not a fan of jazz, Bill.
164
00:06:22,630 --> 00:06:25,199
Okay, but hold on a second.
What about saxophones?
165
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,960
I mean, saxophones are cool.
166
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:32,200
Yeah, so cool. Um...
167
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,480
I like how they curve.
168
00:06:35,710 --> 00:06:38,400
And how people close their eyes
when they play them, I guess.
169
00:06:40,740 --> 00:06:43,080
Let's move on. Look.
170
00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:45,210
Neighborhood people, just hanging out,
171
00:06:45,250 --> 00:06:46,980
having a good time.
172
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,320
Before I opened this place,
173
00:06:48,330 --> 00:06:49,950
there was nowhere for us to go.
174
00:06:49,990 --> 00:06:51,850
We were all just scattered to the wind.
175
00:06:51,860 --> 00:06:52,960
Mm.
176
00:06:52,990 --> 00:06:54,820
Homeless.
177
00:06:54,850 --> 00:06:56,850
This is more than just a bar, Bill.
178
00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:59,780
It's... it's a community center.
179
00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:02,959
Huh. That is very moving.
180
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,500
Uh, I was told that you
force people to sit here
181
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,799
until you decide you
don't hate them anymore.
182
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:11,070
No, people choose to sit here
183
00:07:11,110 --> 00:07:12,169
until we figure out
184
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:14,310
how to incorporate them
into the community.
185
00:07:14,340 --> 00:07:15,840
Mm-hmm.
186
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:17,750
- Uh, hi there, friend.
- Hmm?
187
00:07:17,780 --> 00:07:19,920
Uh, my name's Bill. This is my property.
188
00:07:19,950 --> 00:07:21,980
I just wanted to come over
here and give you permission
189
00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:25,540
to sit or stand anywhere you want.
190
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,330
Nah. I'm fine.
191
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:35,120
Okay, this is insane.
She's not an emperor.
192
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,560
I don't think this is working.
193
00:07:37,580 --> 00:07:39,900
He's a jazz fan, Beth. How
am I supposed to convince
194
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,400
a jazz fan of anything?
His brain is warped.
195
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,600
Okay, here is what's gonna happen.
196
00:07:45,630 --> 00:07:47,320
I'm gonna turn on the charm,
197
00:07:47,350 --> 00:07:49,140
make him feel like he's
part of the group...
198
00:07:49,180 --> 00:07:50,579
make him feel invested, you know?
199
00:07:50,580 --> 00:07:52,019
Yeah. Yeah, that could
work. Get in there.
200
00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:53,100
Do your thing, man.
201
00:07:53,110 --> 00:07:54,419
Hey, Bill! Buy you a beer?
202
00:07:54,420 --> 00:07:55,660
No, thanks. I'm fine.
203
00:07:56,380 --> 00:07:59,240
Well, that was my big gun.
204
00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:01,160
We're screwed.
205
00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:09,100
God, I hate broken sprinklers.
206
00:08:10,670 --> 00:08:12,800
Hey there, Bill. Um...
207
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,320
I didn't have a chance to tell you
208
00:08:14,340 --> 00:08:16,040
how sorry I am about your aunt.
209
00:08:16,070 --> 00:08:18,120
She was a... a very special lady.
210
00:08:18,140 --> 00:08:20,300
Really? How well did you know her?
211
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,050
- Oh, so well.
- Mm-hmm.
212
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,439
Yeah, um...
213
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:25,840
I mean, I... I'll never
forget her address.
214
00:08:27,220 --> 00:08:30,660
It was, uh, 111 Civic Center Drive,
215
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:35,960
Suite 303, San Diego, California...
216
00:08:35,990 --> 00:08:37,640
"Attention: Greg."
217
00:08:39,030 --> 00:08:40,320
That's her accountant's office.
218
00:08:40,340 --> 00:08:41,900
That's where you sent your rent checks.
219
00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:44,819
Did you think she lived
at the civic center?
220
00:08:44,820 --> 00:08:46,500
Come on, man.
221
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:49,110
This bar is my livelihood, okay?
222
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,240
It's taken me years to
build it up from nothing,
223
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,010
and I finally have it
exactly the way I want it.
224
00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:56,950
Nobody is bleeding. Nothing is on fire.
225
00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:59,520
- What is your problem?
- What's my problem?
226
00:08:59,550 --> 00:09:01,479
Do you understand that I am responsible
227
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,040
for all of this in the eyes of the law?
228
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,460
"The eyes of the law"?
229
00:09:04,470 --> 00:09:06,780
I regretted saying that immediately.
230
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:09,550
Seriously, man, you walk
in here with your...
231
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:12,160
with your pants and your orange shirt
232
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,860
and your little cell-phone purse.
233
00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:15,220
Well, I...
234
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,200
And you just start harassing me?
235
00:09:17,220 --> 00:09:18,670
Okay, I'm not harassing you, okay?
236
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:20,340
I just can't deal with this right now.
237
00:09:20,370 --> 00:09:21,379
The last year of my life
238
00:09:21,380 --> 00:09:23,340
has just been total chaos, you know?
239
00:09:23,370 --> 00:09:26,340
I... I changed jobs, my marriage...
240
00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:28,560
my marriage ended. I... I just...
241
00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:30,080
what I'm looking for
is a little stability,
242
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:31,980
and you serving mai tais on my property
243
00:09:32,020 --> 00:09:33,240
is not stable.
244
00:09:33,250 --> 00:09:34,740
Uh...
245
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,160
Abby would never serve anyone a mai tai.
246
00:09:38,740 --> 00:09:40,640
She hates them.
247
00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:43,000
Just throwing that out
there in case it helps.
248
00:09:43,020 --> 00:09:44,920
Thanks. That does not help at all.
249
00:09:46,260 --> 00:09:48,670
Abby, I don't wanna argue
about this anymore, okay?
250
00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:50,719
So I'm just gonna... I'm
gonna document everything,
251
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,600
and then I'm gonna get
out of here, okay?
252
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,380
Why'd you do that?
253
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:07,740
Why would anyone do that?
254
00:10:10,340 --> 00:10:11,660
I'll go get your phone.
255
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:21,340
Hey, so I know you
technically own all of this,
256
00:10:21,350 --> 00:10:23,980
- but that's my stool.
- Oh.
257
00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:25,280
Sorry.
258
00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:28,600
No, no, come back. Hang out.
259
00:10:28,620 --> 00:10:30,910
- Okay.
- Just scooch over a little.
260
00:10:33,260 --> 00:10:36,750
I like to sit over here because
I can see my kids' windows.
261
00:10:36,780 --> 00:10:37,940
Oh, that's convenient.
262
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,480
Yeah, it's a good mom hack.
263
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:44,350
I get to unwind, but if I hear screaming
264
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:48,199
or smell something burning,
in a flash, I can...
265
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,190
finish my drink and get home.
266
00:10:52,140 --> 00:10:54,120
So are you guys, like, regulars here?
267
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,200
Yep. I'm Fred.
268
00:10:56,230 --> 00:10:57,940
I've known Abby since she was a kid.
269
00:10:57,970 --> 00:10:59,300
I used to work with her dad.
270
00:10:59,340 --> 00:11:00,700
I was one of her first customers.
271
00:11:00,710 --> 00:11:02,840
Right, so how did all this happen?
272
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,210
She was in the marines. Afghanistan.
273
00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:07,620
Two tours.
274
00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:09,710
After she got out, she
did some waitress jobs,
275
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:11,399
but she didn't like people
telling her what to do,
276
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:12,740
so she started this.
277
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,120
She knows bars. She grew up in bars.
278
00:11:15,150 --> 00:11:17,740
Her dad's a degenerate alcoholic.
279
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:18,820
Mm.
280
00:11:18,860 --> 00:11:20,220
He's sexy, though.
281
00:11:21,620 --> 00:11:24,080
He's a borderline criminal.
282
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:27,420
But charming, like a suave cat burglar.
283
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:30,740
Don't loan him your bike, though.
284
00:11:31,860 --> 00:11:33,860
No matter how many times he asks.
285
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:37,580
Okay, I won't loan Abby's dad my bike.
286
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:40,080
Look, I know Abby seems kind of gruff,
287
00:11:40,110 --> 00:11:41,850
but she's thoughtful too.
288
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:43,020
When I was in bed with the flu,
289
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,540
she took my boys to see a movie.
290
00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:48,000
It was one of those "Saw" movies.
291
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,600
Actually messed them up pretty good.
292
00:11:51,390 --> 00:11:55,360
They're, uh, different now...
293
00:11:55,390 --> 00:11:58,680
but still, so sweet of her.
294
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,600
She kicked my phone.
295
00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:02,620
Phones are against the rules.
296
00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:04,370
- "The rules"?
- Here.
297
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,899
- Oh.
- The bar has 162 rules
298
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:07,940
and regulations.
299
00:12:07,970 --> 00:12:09,299
I memorized them.
300
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:11,640
I'm sort of like the bar expert.
301
00:12:11,770 --> 00:12:13,460
Maybe don't tell Abby
I said that, though.
302
00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:17,110
Wow, this is extensive.
303
00:12:17,150 --> 00:12:19,260
"All tacos are group tacos."
304
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,400
Hey, hey! That was mine!
I suggested that one.
305
00:12:22,470 --> 00:12:24,799
You know, I do see the appeal
306
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,060
in having somewhere to go every night.
307
00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:27,860
You know, my ex-wife,
she sort of claimed
308
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,560
all our favorite restaurants
as "her territory."
309
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,580
Lot of our friends, also.
310
00:12:34,180 --> 00:12:36,830
And the fish.
311
00:12:36,870 --> 00:12:38,490
We used to have a fish,
and now it's her fish.
312
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:40,219
She took everything, is what
I'm trying to say here.
313
00:12:40,220 --> 00:12:42,020
- She had to be a Capricorn.
- Yikes.
314
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,300
- She sounds great.
- Hmm.
315
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:48,820
You know what? You need a glass.
316
00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:50,260
- Oh!
- Excuse me?
317
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,560
Yeah, if you have a seat at the bar,
318
00:12:51,580 --> 00:12:54,020
you get your own glass, like mine.
319
00:12:54,050 --> 00:12:56,150
It says "Fastline Systems"
and there's a picture
320
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:58,180
of a computer driving a race car.
321
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,919
Yeah, what... what's Fastline Systems?
322
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:02,930
I don't know.
323
00:13:04,020 --> 00:13:06,030
Hey, now.
324
00:13:06,060 --> 00:13:08,340
- Ooh.
- Wow, a Viking helmet, huh?
325
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,660
I go with my gut...
326
00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:12,320
and my gut says "Viking helmet."
327
00:13:21,410 --> 00:13:23,110
I know your name is Bill,
328
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:24,880
but when you're holding that mug,
329
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,940
I'm gonna call you Sven.
330
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,890
Hmm.
331
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:31,380
To Sven!
332
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,060
Here you go. Sorry about that.
333
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,679
You know, I was about to
reflexively say "It's fine,"
334
00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:38,020
but I'm not gonna do
that because that was
335
00:13:38,060 --> 00:13:39,380
a very weird thing for you to do.
336
00:13:40,630 --> 00:13:43,430
All right, man, you... you
got me backed into a corner.
337
00:13:43,470 --> 00:13:46,760
You wanna see me beg? I'll beg.
338
00:13:47,570 --> 00:13:49,280
Let me keep the bar open.
339
00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:51,819
Oh, that's it?
340
00:13:51,820 --> 00:13:54,800
Yeah. I was practically on my knees.
341
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,679
Okay, there might be a
way to make this work.
342
00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:58,920
I'm an engineer, so I believe
343
00:13:58,950 --> 00:14:00,150
there's a way to make everything work.
344
00:14:00,180 --> 00:14:03,180
Ugh. Easy with the
engineer brags, buddy.
345
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,320
Well, even if I were to consider it,
346
00:14:05,340 --> 00:14:06,900
you would have to make some changes.
347
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,120
- What kind of changes?
- Just some basic stuff.
348
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,499
You know, get a liquor license,
349
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:11,959
uh, have an emergency plan,
350
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,660
and... and just get some
business insurance, okay?
351
00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:16,500
- Insurance for what?
- Oh, I don't know, uh...
352
00:14:16,530 --> 00:14:18,240
okay, how about the guy playing boccie
353
00:14:18,270 --> 00:14:19,720
with a dart sticking out of his leg?
354
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,110
Relax. It's in meat, not bone.
355
00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:25,960
- Oh!
- Oh!
356
00:14:32,140 --> 00:14:35,350
Yeah, I'm gonna have to
insist on the insurance.
357
00:14:35,390 --> 00:14:37,420
Also, you gotta lose
the grill, obviously.
358
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,119
I can't just "lose the grill."
359
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:40,800
It's one of the best
things about the bar.
360
00:14:40,820 --> 00:14:43,360
People stand around it.
They cook, they interact...
361
00:14:43,380 --> 00:14:45,160
- They catch on fire.
- Sometimes,
362
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:46,400
but they're always fine.
363
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:48,879
I'm not gonna let you ruin the bar.
364
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,899
Whoa, "ruin the bar"?
It's just a couple of
365
00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:53,270
- suggestions, and I think that...
- It's a slippery slope, okay?
366
00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:55,470
I love this place too
much to watch it morph
367
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,340
into some cookie-cutter
chain restaurant.
368
00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:01,510
I'd rather shut it down,
so drink up, everybody!
369
00:15:01,550 --> 00:15:02,840
Last night at Abby's!
370
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,480
If anyone needs me, I'll be in my house
371
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:05,680
getting drunk, where you can't go,
372
00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:07,960
so I hope you don't need me.
373
00:15:08,550 --> 00:15:11,019
Also, when I was next door,
I found your phone, Skip.
374
00:15:11,020 --> 00:15:12,700
I think it's been back there
for, like, three years.
375
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:13,940
Do you want it?
376
00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:18,660
Right answer. Skip gets me!
377
00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:29,100
It's such a bummer.
378
00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:31,560
This could've been the night
we got the dartboard.
379
00:15:32,870 --> 00:15:36,460
Not anymore. Not anymore.
380
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:39,280
All right, we just have
to go inside and...
381
00:15:39,290 --> 00:15:41,540
"Go inside"? The house?
382
00:15:41,580 --> 00:15:43,140
That's literally rule number two.
383
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:44,580
Number one is "no visors,"
384
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:48,660
and number two is "no one
goes inside the house."
385
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:50,480
If we don't do something,
386
00:15:50,490 --> 00:15:52,890
Abby's pride is gonna
get the bar shut down,
387
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:55,190
and then where will we be?
388
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:56,780
At home!
389
00:15:57,780 --> 00:15:59,100
All right.
390
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:00,360
James?
391
00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:03,150
Make sure Mr. Fancy
Engineer doesn't leave.
392
00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:06,120
Yeah, such an intense
brag out of nowhere.
393
00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:07,179
I know.
394
00:16:07,180 --> 00:16:09,240
"I'm an engineer. I love math."
395
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:15,419
Hey, I know we're not supposed to, uh...
396
00:16:15,420 --> 00:16:18,250
It's fine. Make yourselves at home.
397
00:16:18,380 --> 00:16:20,549
So this is your kitchen.
398
00:16:20,550 --> 00:16:21,660
Wow.
399
00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:23,219
Cool, uh, elephant magnet.
400
00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:24,220
Don't look at my stuff.
401
00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:26,260
Okay. Cool, cool.
402
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,720
So, how're you doing?
403
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,290
It hasn't sunk in yet.
404
00:16:32,330 --> 00:16:35,470
I guess I'll have to get
another job at a sports bar
405
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:36,899
where the guys wear their sunglasses
406
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:38,430
on the back of their...
407
00:16:38,470 --> 00:16:39,540
necks.
408
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,970
Abby, we can't let you do this.
409
00:16:43,010 --> 00:16:44,870
Oh, don't worry about me.
410
00:16:44,910 --> 00:16:46,940
I'm not. I'm worried about me.
411
00:16:46,980 --> 00:16:48,500
I need this bar.
412
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:51,020
I budgeted out my savings
for the next 25 years.
413
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,110
If I gotta pay more than
three bucks a beer,
414
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,080
I'm gonna go broke by the time I'm 70.
415
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,520
Abs, I need the bar too.
416
00:16:57,540 --> 00:16:59,160
If this thing goes away,
417
00:16:59,170 --> 00:17:01,460
then I have to spend more
time with my family,
418
00:17:01,490 --> 00:17:06,110
and I love them dearly,
but that's a nonstarter.
419
00:17:06,130 --> 00:17:08,500
My kids are obsessed with me.
420
00:17:08,530 --> 00:17:12,380
They want me to hug them
and make them food.
421
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:17,320
I'm sorry guys, but I... I just can't.
422
00:17:17,350 --> 00:17:19,340
Okay?
423
00:17:19,370 --> 00:17:21,940
Now leave me alone so I can black out
424
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,480
and forget this is happening.
425
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,080
Last thing I'll say:
426
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,050
Bill is out there right now
427
00:17:31,090 --> 00:17:33,440
trying to figure out where
to hang the dartboard.
428
00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:37,990
- So?
- So he's invested.
429
00:17:38,030 --> 00:17:39,180
He's one of us.
430
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,560
He might not know it yet, but I do.
431
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,479
It just makes me feel like
I'm a kid again, you know?
432
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,679
When my dad would just
show up out of nowhere
433
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:48,860
and mess everything up?
434
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:50,799
And I get that, I... I really do,
435
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,900
but I think we can trust this
guy not to ruin the joint.
436
00:17:54,940 --> 00:17:56,680
Besides, I am right in the middle
437
00:17:56,710 --> 00:17:58,910
of a game of dominoes with James.
438
00:17:58,950 --> 00:18:00,680
If you close down, what are we gonna do?
439
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:03,119
You know how hard it is to
move a game of dominoes?
440
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:05,980
It's impossible, Sarge.
The tiles go everywhere.
441
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,280
Thanks for the talk.
442
00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:09,700
Any time.
443
00:18:11,780 --> 00:18:13,819
Also, please stop calling me "Sarge."
444
00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:16,060
Ah, respectfully, I'm
gonna keep on doing that
445
00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:18,300
'cause it's fun.
446
00:18:22,260 --> 00:18:24,630
I guess the front of the bar is out
447
00:18:24,660 --> 00:18:26,740
because of people's faces
and eyes and stuff.
448
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:30,000
Yeah, that stuff is important.
449
00:18:30,580 --> 00:18:34,300
Skip seems to have his area
pretty well locked down, here.
450
00:18:36,470 --> 00:18:38,240
Don't look right at him!
451
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,740
Okay.
452
00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:46,660
I'm willing to try some of your changes.
453
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:48,070
What do you mean "some"?
454
00:18:48,090 --> 00:18:50,660
I will work on the insurance thing.
455
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:53,470
Oh, I have a friend in
the insurance game.
456
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:56,840
Tons of ways to cheat the system.
457
00:18:56,870 --> 00:19:00,110
But, you know, still be legal.
458
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:01,480
But sneaky.
459
00:19:01,810 --> 00:19:03,980
Okay, and the emergency plan?
460
00:19:04,780 --> 00:19:05,900
We're outside.
461
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:09,240
The emergency plan is "remain outside."
462
00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:10,720
Okay. What about the grill?
463
00:19:11,260 --> 00:19:13,040
As I've said,
464
00:19:13,060 --> 00:19:15,579
the grill is where people gather.
465
00:19:15,580 --> 00:19:17,200
The grill is important.
466
00:19:17,260 --> 00:19:19,030
- Then we don't have a deal.
- Damn it, Bill.
467
00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:21,180
You can't move a game of dominoes!
468
00:19:22,130 --> 00:19:23,340
What?
469
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,770
The dominoes. If you move them mid-game,
470
00:19:26,780 --> 00:19:29,170
then everything gets all
scrambled and ruined
471
00:19:29,180 --> 00:19:31,440
and you lose all the tiles.
472
00:19:31,580 --> 00:19:34,680
I need the people at this bar.
473
00:19:34,710 --> 00:19:36,719
And they need the bar the way it is.
474
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,760
If they go away,
475
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,660
I lose them.
476
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,790
Please, man.
477
00:19:43,820 --> 00:19:46,120
Abby...
478
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:48,240
that was so beautiful.
479
00:19:49,660 --> 00:19:51,230
Okay, we'll make it work.
480
00:19:51,260 --> 00:19:52,660
But I do have one more condition.
481
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,200
What?
482
00:19:54,220 --> 00:19:55,660
If we're gonna do this,
483
00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:58,000
I need to know that it's gonna
be a partnership, okay?
484
00:19:58,020 --> 00:20:01,380
I'm risking a lot here, so I
need you to meet me halfway.
485
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:05,879
And that's why I need you to make me...
486
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:07,140
a mai tai.
487
00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:18,600
20 bucks says she bails.
488
00:20:19,590 --> 00:20:21,319
- You're on.
- Guys.
489
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:22,830
Oh. Hey, you can do this.
490
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,320
We believe in you.
491
00:20:29,780 --> 00:20:32,080
Actually, I... I like
extra cherries on mine.
492
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:37,420
Oh.
493
00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:45,880
Well, you can toss this.
494
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,120
I don't like mai tais.
495
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:50,699
What?
496
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:52,220
I...
497
00:20:52,260 --> 00:20:53,449
I just wanted to see if you would do it.
498
00:20:53,450 --> 00:20:54,920
I mean, I'm actually very surprised.
499
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,850
Just to compromise all
your integrity like that
500
00:20:56,860 --> 00:20:58,660
is super humbling.
501
00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:04,969
Well played.
502
00:21:04,970 --> 00:21:06,640
Thank God.
503
00:21:07,940 --> 00:21:10,220
I was so scared just then.
504
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,079
I... I need this drink.
505
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:22,240
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
36021
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.