All language subtitles for south park the end of obesity 2024 1080p bluray x264-mimesis_track3_[eng]-eng

MAN: (SINGING) MTV.

(NARRATOR READING)

(AIR HISSING)

CARTMAN: Ow. Ow!

Ah, God!

I'm just taking
your blood pressure, Eric.

It's too tight. Stop.

(VELCRO CRACKLES)

Ms. Cartman, I'm extremely worried
about your son's health.

His blood pressure, his cholesterol.

I think it's time
for some drastic measures

to bring down his weight.

Oh, God, here we go
with this shit again.

Doctor, we try to have Eric
eat right and exercise,

but it just doesn't seem
to work for him.

Well, there might be another answer.

Have you heard of semaglutides?

Semaglutides?

They're the active ingredient
in Ozempic,

a drug originally made
for people with diabetes,

but we've now discovered

they can help obese people
lose vast amounts of weight.

Really?

It's a whole new era of medicine.

A miracle, really.

Young man, how would you like
to not be fat anymore?

Not be fat anymore?

Me?

Not fat anymore?

(MYSTICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, guys!

How's it going? Good to see you guys.

Hey, Wendy,
you want to know something?

- What?
- You're a dumb bitch.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

You're a dumb bitch
and you got saggy tits.

Oh, yeah, Cartman? Well, you're a...

You're a... (GROANS)

(LAUGHS) Sweet!

Oh, hey. Hey, Kyle.

Kyle, guess what?

You're a totally ugly ginger
and your religion is fucking bullshit.

Oh, yeah? Well, you're a...

You're a... Uh... Damn it!

(LAUGHS) Yeah! Awesome!

Hey, hello there, Pakistan.

Your whole country is fucking dumb
and it smells like ass.

Okay, Pakistan?
Why don't you get your shit together?

(CROWD BOOING)

Oh, yeah? Well, you are normal person!

You are... very average-looking.

Fuck yeah, dawg. This is fucking nice!

Wow. Could this really happen?

Doctor, is it really true
I can not be fat?

It's really true, young man.

How much do these new drugs cost?

Well, they aren't cheap.
It's about $1,200 a month.

Oh, I don't know
if we can afford that.

Oh. All right.

Well, never mind, Eric.
Have a good day.

Never mind?

You can't just tell me
there's a new miracle drug

that'll make me not fat anymore,
then say fucking "never mind"!

Insurance companies
only cover the medication

for diabetes, not for weight loss.

So if you can't afford them,
you're just kind of out of luck.

Doctor, please,
I've been fat my whole life.

I hate how I look.

Please, there has to be something
you can do.

(SIGHS) All right.

I'm gonna write you
a prescription for Lizzo.

- Lizzo?
- She's a really good singer

who talks about body positivity
and just being happy

with the way you look.

I want you to listen to Lizzo
five times a day

and watch her videos
just before bedtime.

Oh, and I'm afraid
you'll have to be on Lizzo

for the rest of your life.

No! Lizzo, no!

WOMAN: (SCREAMS) Oh, my God!

REPORTER: A new weight-loss drug,
one that's been described

- as a game changer...
- REPORTER 2: Patients with obesity

lost up to 17.5%
of their body weight...

MAN: The drug works by mimicking
a naturally occurring hormone

that is released from the gut...

LES: (SINGING)
I'm going down to South Park

Gonna have myself a time

WOMAN: One hot topic
everyone in Hollywood

still seems to be talking
about is Ozempic.

LES: Yeah, I'm going down
to South Park

Gonna leave my woes behind

WOMAN:
Obesity is a biological condition...

Are these new drugs
a silver bullet for weight loss?

LES: Heading on up to South Park
Gonna see if I can't unwind

It will be the most
lucrative drug ever made.

LES: So come on down to South Park
And meet some friends of mine

(WOMAN SCREAMS)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

WOMAN: (SINGING) A good day

Oh, oh

And I feel like

It's going to be a good day

Whoa, whoa, whoa, where are you going?

I'm going to school.

Not looking like that you aren't.

Not looking like what?

We've talked about this, Shelly.

You don't go to school wearing shirts
that show off your body like that.

All the girls at school
dress like this, Dad.

Mom already said it was okay.

What?

It's really
just the fashion now, Randy.

I don't care if it's the fashion,

I don't want
my innocent little daughter

going to school
dressed like a cum whore.

Go put on a different shirt.

No. I don't have to.

My body's not a distraction,
it's perfect,

and you can't tell me what to do.

You're gonna get stared at all day.

Little boys are perverts.

Mom already said I could wear it!

(NASALLY) "Mom already said
I could wear it!"

You're stupid.

The school says girls
can wear shirts like this

so I can do what I want!

(IN REGULAR VOICE) Okay, cool,
then maybe I'll just wear

whatever I want to school
to come pick you up later!

Go ahead!

Ugh.

She's gonna be fine, Randy.
She's just growing up.

Oh, she's gonna be fine?

Okay. Mark my words.

If you walk around wearing
a shirt that exposes your belly,

you end up with a bad group of people
doing a bunch of drugs.

You'll see.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

Randy was really upset,
but I don't know,

I just don't see what the big deal is.

Do you let Wendy
wear crop tops to school?

Yeah, sometimes.

I think it's fine
when girls wear them.

What I can't stand
is all the middle-aged moms

wearing them now
‘cause they're all on Ozempic.

- Who's on Ozempic?
- Oh, Butters' mom, Craig's mom.

A bunch of women use it
to lose that last five pounds

and show off their stomachs.

Oh, hey, guys. How's it going?

Just getting some coffee?

Hi, Linda. You're, uh, looking good.

Oh, yeah, you know,
just working out a lot,

doing Pilates and stuff.

Uh-huh, sure.

Kind of cold out, isn't it, Linda?

Oh, no, I'm not cold.

Not with all the running
I'm doing lately

- to work on my core.
- Hey, ladies.

Boy, it sure is chilly out
this morning, huh?

Yeah, I sure hope summer comes soon.

Yeah, uh, we, uh, we got to get going.

We'll see you guys around.

Linda, you look really good.

Which obesity drugs are you taking?

Drugs? I-I'm not taking any drugs.

I'm just hiking and lifting weights.

Oh, Linda, you don't have
to be shy with us.

I'm using Ozempic
and Laura's using Mounjaro.

Come on, what are you on?

Oh, well, the truth is,
Ozempic gave me the shits

so I switched to Zepbound.

Ooh, Zepbound's the same as Mounjaro,

but you don't have to have
the diabetes to get it, right?

Yeah, I think Zepbound
is the one Tweek's mom is doing.

Who had the half-caff
venti chai latte?

Oh, that's me.

Listen, girls, we're doing the party
at my house this afternoon, okay?

- Okay, sounds good.
- The-the party?

Yeah, you know, the obesity drugs
are so hard to get,

all the girls meet up and share drugs
and talk about them.

- You got to come.
- Okay, I will.

(LAUGHTER)

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

Hey, Kyle.

Kyle, can you come
talk to Eric for a minute?

He's really upset.

Cartman's upset? So what?

He's been crying all day
and now he's just sitting

on the merry-go-round all by himself.

(SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYING)

(SNIFFLES)

What's wrong with you?

(SNIFFLES)

Nothing.

Okay, Cartman,
obviously something's wrong.

(SNIFFLES) I'm just fat.

And I'm always gonna be fat.
(SNIFFLES)

Is this a trick?

I'm just...

There's these new medications
that can treat obesity,

but my mom can't afford them.

I'm-I'm just a poor, fat kid.

Poor little fat kid.

Okay, Cartman, if your doctor
wants to put you on medication,

your insurance will pay for it.

No, they said the insurance
won't pay for it ‘cause, um,

they're kind of new drugs,
and so the only people

that can get them are people
who can pay 1,200 bucks a month

and the rest of us get this.

- What's this?
- It's a prescription for Lizzo.

Rich people get Ozempic,
poor people get body positivity.

They can't just give medication
to rich people.

Well, that's what they're doing.

Well, did you talk
to the insurance company?

Did you file a claim?

Let's go down there and talk to them.

See? I knew Kyle could help.

When it comes to your health,
you got to be tough, dude.

You got to have
some fucking willpower, okay?

(SNIFFLES) Okay.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

Oh, hey! Hey, Shelly!

Over here, Shelly.

Yeah, right here. It's Dad!

I'm here to pick you up!

Oh, my God.

Oh, what? What's the problem, Shelly?

Come on, sweetheart.
Daddy's just here to get you!

Tweek, come on, let's go, honey.
Get your stuff.

Oh, hey, Randy. Look at you.

Huh?

So, you're, uh, you're doing
the thing, too, huh?

- Doing-doing what thing?
- Oh, come on,

we can all be honest with each other.

Those of us that can afford it
have nothing to be ashamed of, right?

You're, uh, you're into the drugs?

- Well, yeah, I'm into drugs.
- Yeah, me, too.

- Whoa, really?
- Yeah, I love them.

Well, I'm more into drugs
than probably anyone in this town.

Well, then, what are you doing?

- You got to come join the group.
- There's a group?

Yeah, a bunch of the girls,
we get together and talk

about all the different drugs
and where we can get them.

They're way harder to get these days.

At Laura Tucker's house
tomorrow, lunch.

Come hang with the girls
and we can share drugs.

(CAPTIVATING MUSIC PLAYING)

BUTTERS: Wow, look at this place.

Well, hello there.
Looking to get some insurance?

No. My friend's mom already has
insurance with your company.

Oh, great.
You're here to pay your bill.

No, no, we're not here
to give you money.

We're here to file a claim
for my friend's medication.

Oh, you want money from us.

Right through that door over there.

(MUSIC STOPS)

(PRINTER WHIRRING)

Hello.

We want to file a claim

to get my friend's
weight-loss drugs paid for.

Oh, okay.

Do you want to know
his policy number or anything?

Let me... Let me just speak
with our medical director first.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

Sorry, but we don't pay
for medicines for obesity

‘cause it's not a disease.

Who was that?

That was the medical director.

The medical director decides

what claims are valid
for us to pay for.

But you didn't say who the patient was
and what was wrong with him.

Right.

The medical director's job
is just to say no.

Look, my friend's mom has been
paying you people for years,

and his doctor says his weight
is a medical concern,

and obesity is a disease.
Oprah Winfrey said so!

Okay, okay, calm down. Calm down.

I didn't realize
I was dealing with someone

who had so much determination.

If you do a little more work,

I think we can get
your medications paid for.

W-We can?

Yeah, you see, the doctors
and the pharmaceutical companies

and the insurance companies
all kind of work together.

So all you have to do is navigate
the American healthcare system.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

BUTTERS: (SINGING)
We're gonna navigate

The American healthcare system

It's there for you and me

Just fill out these forms.

We're gonna get better

And we're gonna be strong

And as healthy as can be

I need to send you to Imaging.

Let's navigate

The American healthcare system

Just fill out these forms.

I just-1 just filled 'em out
at the last place.

It's so much fun to be getting it done

I can't sign this for insurance.

His original doctor
needs to sign this.

We go back to the doctor

To get that thing for insurance

Then go back to insurance...

(PRINTER WHIRRING)

(PRINTING STOPS)

We need you to get a second opinion

- from a doctor who's in network.
- Ugh.

We're navigating
the American healthcare system

Now just watch us go

We're getting things done
Taking care of our health

We need these filled out

and then faxed
to your insurance company.

We're filling out forms

And we're scanning those forms

And then we're emailing those forms

To get them back to insurance.

(PRINTER WHIRRING)

(PRINTING STOPS)

We need confirmation
from a different specialist.

Let's go and navigate
the American healthcare system

It's the best system of them all

No, we already talked
to the insurance company.

They were supposed to talk to you.

And we go back to the doctor

We go back to the specialist

Who talks to the insurance company

That faxes the medical advisor

Who's on a boat in the Maldives

No.

And were going in one place
And we're coming out the other place

And we're back over here now

And I was just over there

And I'm getting confused
And it's getting dark

And my mind is all different colors

And I think I'm lost.

(ECHOING) Hey, fellas,
I think I'm lost

in the American healthcare system.

Fellas? Fellas?

Help!

So my doctor says,
"I don't think you really need

"these drugs, Mrs. Stotch.

"They're more for people
with morbid obesity."

I was like, "I have to be
in a bikini on Wednesday.

"You can morbid obesity my ass."

I heard most doctors
will still prescribe

the ten milligram Zepbound shots.

No, they're cracking down
on those, too,

because people with diabetes need it.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Hey!

Oh, hey, Randy.

Girls, Randy says he has a hookup
on some really good shit.

- Oh, wow, let me get some of that.
- (EXCITED CHATTER)

Welcome to the club, Randy.
Which drugs are you on?

Well, I'm on whatever.

I brought a little appetizer
for everybody.

LAURA: Everyone.

Everyone, we have
a little surprise for you all.

So, Alexis Testaburger just decided
to start taking the drugs.

She went to Mexico and was able to get
a 12-injection sample through customs.

Party time, guys.

- No way.
- How can you get it?

- Oh, wow, look at that...
- l need it now.

- WOMAN 1: Oh, I want some.
- WOMAN 2: I'm all out.

(CLICKS)

Here you go, Randy.

Oh, thanks, yeah.

That's, uh, yeah, awesome.

Is something wrong, Randy?

No. No, I'm not a-scared.

Well, go ahead, Randy.

ALL: (CHANTING)
Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy!

- (SUSPENSFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
- (CLICKS)

Bravo!

(ALL CHEER)

Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy...

MAN: (SINGING) Cry, little sister

Thou shall not fall

Come, come to your brother

Thou shall not die

Unchain me, sister

Thou shall not fear

Love is with your brother

Thou shall not kill

VOICE: (WHISPERING) Randy...

Randy...

Oh, you're finally up.

You got home late last night.

Oh, uh, yeah.

I was just out doing some hiking.

You were hiking at night?

Yeah, I was hiking really a lot.

Well, here, I made you
some bacon and eggs.

Uh, no, thanks.
I'm really not that hungry.

Towelie. Towelie.
You're not gonna believe this.

Dude, have you ever done
GLP-1 peptides?

GLP pep-what now?

There's these new,
crazy drugs people are doing.

It's like cocaine and molly
mixed together.

They make women go crazy.

No, really?

Yeah. Last night I was partying
with nine hot MILFs,

and this morning I woke up,
and guess what.

I don't feel like total shit.

It's like a miracle drug.

You partied all night
and felt fine the next morning?

Totally fine.

There's, like, nothing wrong with me.

Wow. You want half
a breakfast burrito?

No, I'm good. I seriously thought
maybe I couldn't do hard drugs anymore

‘cause of all the downsides
the next day,

but this, like, changes everything.

There's another rager
at Mable Thompson's house tomorrow.

I can't fuckin' wait.

Stan, Kenny, we need your help.

Hey, where have you guys been?

We've been out navigating
the American healthcare system.

I almost died.

It's so fucked up,
you guys don't even understand.

What's fucked up?

They just purposely make it difficult
for people to pay for what they need.

The insurance companies, the hospitals

and the drug companies,
they're making obesity drugs

more expensive in America
than anywhere else in the world.

There are celebrities and rich people

using these new drugs
to lose a few extra pounds,

and meanwhile, Cartman's fat as fuck
and can't get any help.

Dude, what do you want us
to do about it?

(KENNY MUMBLES)

I was watching a bunch
of videos online.

They show how you can order raw
semaglutide from a factory in India

and mix your own injections
for next to nothing.

You mean, like,
we're gonna get powder from India,

and make it into obesity shots
for Cartman ourselves?

Who needs hospitals and insurance
when we have TikTok and YouTube?

(ELECTRONIC AND INDIAN FUSION
MUSIC PLAYING)

It's my life

Whatever I wanna do

It's my life

Wherever I wanna go

It's my life

Whom I wanna love, oh, oh

It's my life

Whatever I wanna talk

It's my life

Wherever I wanna walk

It's my life

Whom I wanna leave
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

The semiglutides are here!

People think that I'm somewhat mental

They don't know I am very sentimental

Na, na, na, na

Na, na, na, na, na, na

Na, na, na, na, na, nha, ha, na, na

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC FADES OUT)

Is something wrong
with the food, Randy?

No, no, it was great.

You're done?

You want to just skip to dessert?
I made your favorite pie.

Ooh, pie?

Yeah, maybe later.

Kids, can you leave the table
so I can have a talk with your father?

What? What'd I do? Don't leave.

Randy, I think I know what's going on.

You do?

Yeah. You keep saying
you're going to the gym

and doing Pilates,
but then you aren't eating anything.

Are you doing those new drugs
everyone's doing?

What? Oh, my God.

What? Sharon.

I am not doing drugs.

Just be honest, Randy.

Sharon, I smoke weed
and drink beer. That's it.

I can't believe you would
even think I would--

- Sharon!
- Then how are you not eating?

What-- I ate.

Just 'cause I don't eat
as much as you.

Just ‘cause I'm doing Pilates,
working out and stuff.

Sorry, I don't eat as much as you do.

I'm just trying to be better.
Not on drugs.

Why would you even suggest
that I'm doing drugs?

Are you drunk?

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Randy.

Thank God. We have a big problem.

There's no more drugs!

No more drugs?

- Do you have any?
- Well, no. I thought you guys

- always had plenty--
- Shit.

- Randy doesn't have any either.
- Oh, no.

- No, no, no, no.
- Goddamn it.

We've been totally cut off.

W-W-What, what happened?

There's been a nationwide crackdown

because doctors are saying
some people are abusing the drugs.

Well, what else are you
supposed to do with drugs?

What are we gonna do?

I know what we should do.

Let's go knock off a pharmacy.

- They have plenty of drugs.
- Good idea.

- Yeah.
- Yes.

I know for a fact

the pharmacy on Tanner Street
has a whole new supply.

- So we'll break in and take 'em.
- (OVERLAPPING AGREEMENTS)

- We can do it.
- Yes.

Uh, I think, ladies, we can get
in a lot of trouble for doing that.

That's right.

So we have to make sure
nobody knows it's us.

WOMAN 1: Nobody move.
This is a holdup.

Stay calm and nobody gets hurt.

WOMAN 2: Keep your hands up.

This will all be over soon.

(GUN COCKS)

Go make sure
the back doors are locked.

Ah... Okay. God.

Oh, come on, Mrs. Tucker, Mrs. Neely,
how many times do I have to tell you

these drugs aren't meant
for people like you.

How do you even know who we are?

Because you ladies can't help
but expose your stomachs

everywhere you go,
no matter how inappropriate it is. Ah!

Come on, get the drugs
and let's get out of here.

That's all of it.

- All right, come on. Let's go.
- All right. Come on.

- Let's go!
- Let's get out of here.

Let's go. Let's go.

Hey, there's some OxyContin
and Vicodin,

should I grab that, too?

No?

(WHIRRING)

All right, that should be good.
Kill the switch.

- (CLICKS)
- Okay, Kenny, bring over the injector.

It's done?

It's done.

You know, Cartman,
this could be dangerous.

- If you don't want to--
- To hell with danger.

This can change my life, Kyle.

Let's do it.

Kenny.

Well...

Here it goes, guys.

(CLICKS)

Cartman?

Do you feel anything?

I think so.

- Get me some Cocoa Puffs.
- What?

I need to make a cereal bomb.

Get me Cocoa Puffs, Cap'n Crunch
and a bucket of KFC. Hurry.

(SUSPENSFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

- So, what's going on?
- We don't know.

Cartman's been in the bathroom
with the bucket of cereal

for almost 30 minutes.

Dude, Cartman, what are you doing?

(LOCK CLICKING)

Look at this.

Look at what?

There's two chicken thighs in there.

So?

So? Do you know the last time
I couldn't finish a cereal bomb?

I think these drugs totally work!

They do?

My favorite thing in the world
is eating a cereal bomb

and taking a shit at the same time
to make more room.

But I got to the last two thighs
at the bottom and I was like,

"Wait a minute, I think I'm full."

I've never known that feeling
before in my life, you guys.

But I'm full.

You really can feel a difference?

I totally feel a difference.

I always drink the chocolatey
chicken milk left at the bottom,

but it's still sitting there.

Wow!

Dude, I think we did it, Kyle.
What do we do now?

Now?

Now, we're gonna make
a whole lot more.

We're not gonna just help Cartman,

we're gonna help everyone in America
who can't afford obesity drugs.

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

All of us in the sugar business
have a big problem.

We designed our cereals

so that people would always
crave more and more.

But now obesity drugs

are making people
less cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Ain't that right, Sonny?

We're talking a 60% hit
to the business.

These obesity drugs
are an attack on all of us.

Even you, Cap'n Crunch.

The drugs are moving in on our turf.

And we'll all be in trouble soon.

Trix Rabbit,

Tony le Tigre,

and Sugar Bear.

We're only losing all the rich people.

We'll be fine as long as
lower-income people keep taking Lizzo.

- Lizzo, yeah.
- Lizzo, that's right.

- Lizzo.
- Yep, yep.

We can't just keep pushing
body positivity on people

because there's a new threat,

compounding pharmacies.

Hey, what up, guys?
It's your new friends

at South Park Compounding Pharmacy.

We are now taking orders

for our affordable obesity drugs
available to everyone.

We're not here to just make money,

we're here to make things fair.

- And to make some money.
- Our semaglutides are safe

and even cheaper
than a Little Debbie snack cake.

Motherfucker.

So just like and subscribe
if you want to get on the list

and we will get everyone

- who wants it their semaglutides.
- (CLICKS)

These people think
they can just come in

and mess with everything we've built?

I say we Kill
every last fucking one of 'em.

(ROOSTER CROWING)

(GROANS)

(GASPS)

Oh, my God!

(TAPS)

Mom, Mom! Look at me.

Eric! Oh, my goodness.

It worked, Mom. I'm normal.

- Kyle, Kenny!
- Whoa. Cartman?

It worked, you guys. Check me out.

(KENNY MUMBLES APPROVINGLY)

- Yeah, and guess what, Kyle?
- What?

You're a big dumb Jew
and your breath stinks like ass.

- What?
- Yeah.

And, Kenny, you have greasy hair

‘cause your family's too poor
to afford shampoo.

- (KENNY MUMBLES ANGRILY)
- What are you gonna say back?

Nothing. Oh, my God, it worked!

Hey, you guys.

Wow, Cartman?

Yeah. You all have zits on your tits.

You have big zits but tiny tits.

Oh. Oh, yeah?

What you got? You got nothing!

You want to know what else, Pakistan?

You all have stupid haircuts.

- (CROWD EXCLAIMING)
- CARTMAN: Yeah.

Your haircuts are dumb

and that's why your women
cover their heads.

Yeah! Yes... (GASPS)

The-the fuck is this?

Hmm.

Oh?

Oh?

Yeah, well, it's official.

It's been one week
and Eric's lost 1.3 pounds.

1.3 pounds? Is that good?

I'd say it's good.

This is so great, you guys.

Last night, I had a dream
about all the amazing things

I'm gonna do when I'm skinny.

Thank you, guys, so much.

We just got another order, fellas.

Fifty more cases heading out.

Fifty more? That's great.

How's it going
on the injectors, Kenny?

(KENNY MUMBLES)

Well, it's been a week, Cartman.

So, are you ready
for your second dose?

I'm so ready, Kyle.
It's really working.

This morning, for breakfast,
I couldn't even finish

half a cereal bomb on the toilet.

Okay, tomorrow, maybe let's go
for no cereal bombs on the toilet.

All right, here's
your next dose, Cartman.

- You know the drill.
- I sure do.

(DOOR SLAMS OPEN)

- WOMAN1: Hands up!
- WOMAN 2: This is a holdup.

WOMAN 3: Nobody move
and nobody gets hurt.

- Hand over the obesity drugs.
- What?

I got 'em, I got 'em!

Get it all. There's more over here.

- No, this is mine.
- WOMAN: Give it to me, fatso.

Fuck you, I need that.

WOMAN: Give me the peptide,
you little fat fuck!

- WOMAN1: We got it.
- WOMAN 2: Let's go.

WOMAN 3: Let's get out of here.

- (ENGINE STARTS)
- WOMAN: Okay, go!

- WOMAN 2: Drive, drive, drive!
- (TIRES SCREECHING)

(CLICKS)

RANDY: Come on, give me some
of that shit!

(SPITS)

I'm telling you, Sheila,
these new drugs are pretty amazing.

I was feeling so ashamed of myself.

Watching Randy go out
and exercise all the time

and not eating as much.

But I just don't have the same
kind of willpower he has.

Which of the drugs are you on, Sharon?

Ozempic? Mounjaro?

(CHUCKLES)
Oh, no, I talked to my doctor.

He said insurance would only pay
for those if I had diabetes.

But if you can't afford them,

then how are you managing your weight?

Don't you know, Sheila?

Now there's a whole new obesity drug

for those of us who can't afford
Ozempic and Mounjaro.

I've controlled all my cravings
to be thinner...

with Lizzo!

Oh, oh, oh, it's Lizzo

NARRATOR: FDA-approved Lizzo
makes you feel good about your weight.

And it costs 90% less than Ozempic.

I've lowered my standards
and my expectations.

It's Lizzo

NARRATOR: In case studies,
70% of patients on Lizzo

no longer cared how much they weighed.

I don't give two shits.

Oh, oh, oh, it's Lizzo.

NARRATOR: Lizzo helps you
eat everything you want

and keep physical activity
to a minimum.

Some patients report constipation
while listening to Lizzo.

Stop listening to Lizzo
if you experience suicidal thoughts.

Serious side effects
may include pancreatitis,

hypothermia and literally
shitting out your ears.

(SCREAMS)

Are you living
with concerns of obesity?

Ask about the power
of not giving a fuck, with Lizzo.

Oh, hey, Randy. How was the party?

It was, uh...

It was not great.

Oh, you didn't rage?

Oh, we raged.

I think there's something
wrong with these drugs.

I was there raging again
with a bunch of hot women

and then suddenly, I was like,

I don't know if I feel
like doing this anymore.

Like, I felt satisfied.

With any drugs, I always want
to do more and more and more.

But suddenly with these drugs,

I feel like I actually
want things less.

Does that make any sense?

Not at all.

It's like, you know, with good drugs,
they make you just want and lust,

but those drugs
also make your dick not work.

But with these drugs,
you don't really crave anything

and your dick totally works.

Look, man, you're talking crazy.

I think maybe you've just fallen in
with a bad group of people.

Yeah. In a bad group of people,
doing a bunch of drugs.

Randy, you've got to get away
from those MILFs.

(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

(PHONE RINGS)

South Park Compounding Pharmacy.

Oh, yes, ma'am, we'll have
your obesity drugs to you really soon.

We had a bit of a robbery.

Well, we're not really sure when.

Yes, ma'am, we understand
how serious it is.

No, no, don't take the Lizzo.

We'll-we'll have
a new supply shortly, okay?

- Fellas! You gotta come quick!
- What's wrong?

It's Eric. He says he's giving up.

H-He bought a bunch of junk food
and he's gonna mix it all together!

Cartman's making another cereal bomb?

It's a cereal bomb,
but topped with Twinkies and gravy.

He said it's called an Oppenheimer.

Cartman, what are you doing?

The drugs are wearing off, Kyle.

I didn't get my second dose.

I just want to make an Oppenheimer
and forget the whole thing.

That's it? You're just gonna give up?

I don't want to hope anymore.

Well, you got to hope, Cartman.

You hope and you work
instead of turning to shit like that!

It's all just making it worse, Kyle.
Don't you get it?

Knowing there's a cure.

Knowing I can have willpower
injected into my body.

It's all just made me dream
about what my future can be like.

But I realize now that those dreams
are never gonna come true.

Cartman, your dreams
are going to come true.

- No, they won't.
- Yes, they will.

You'll do everything
you dreamed about,

you just have to fight
for those dreams.

I don't have the willpower
that you do, Kyle.

Just come back
to the pharmacy with us.

We're not gonna quit.

But all our shit got stolen.

My obesity drugs are with some women
who don't even need them.

So, are we gonna let them win?

People can be as unfair as they want.

But as long as
there's a factory in India,

I will never stop making
obesity drugs for the needy.

(INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING)

(MACHINERY WHIRRING)

(ENGINE STOPS)

This is the place.

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

(GUN COCKS)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

- Little Debbie!
- (GUN COCKS)

(GRUNTING)

You think you can sell
your drugs on our fuckin' turf?

Only one drug is king in America.

And that drug is sugar.

One of the largest manufacturers
of semaglutide

was attacked today
by body positivity activists.

Our own Bill Norman has more.

Tom, the advocates for body positivity

broke into this
obesity medicine facility

and opened fire on everyone inside.

The terrorists claimed
that obesity is not a disease

and that every body is beautiful

as they then burned
the factory to the ground.

The identity of the attackers
is still unknown,

but one member of the militant group
sent this anonymous message.

DISTORTED VOICE:
Now instead of obesity drugs,

people will have to rely on
good things,

like self-esteem and body positivity.

They're great!

Does this mean
I'm not gonna get my next dose?

I'm just gonna stay fat?

What the hell is wrong with people?

Am I just gonna
stay fucking fat, Kyle?

No, we're gonna do something else.

But the body positivity people
are just gonna destroy all the drugs

- and I'm gonna be fat.
- You are not gonna be fat, Cartman.

- I'm gonna be fat. Yes, I am.
- Listen to me.

- I'm gonna be fat forever!
- You're not gonna be fat!

You can't do anything.
They have all the power.

- We'll get the drugs somewhere else.
- They want to keep me this way.

- We just have to keep working harder.
- I'm gonna be fat as fuck, Kyle!

We're gonna fuckin' figure it out!

(STOMACH RUMBLES)

Ugh. Ooh.

Cartman?

I just got to get
my next dose soon, you guys.

Something's going on down there.

(FARTING)

(FARTING CONTINUES)

(FARTING LOUDLY)

It's okay, you're just experiencing

some side effects
from your medication.

(DOOR UNLOCKS)

Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry.

It's all right, Mrs. Marsh.

We've been seeing a lot of this lately
with people taking Lizzo.

Now, are you mostly defecating
out your anus or out your ears?

M-My ears.

Yup, all right, let's take a look.

Uh-huh. Yep.

Okay.

Well, that confirms it, Mrs. Marsh.

I'm afraid with all the Lizzo
you've been takin',

you've given yourself "diabeartes."

- What? I have diabetes?
- Diab-ear-tes.

It's a mild form of diabetes
that occurs mostly in the ears.

It's something you'll have to manage
for the rest of your life.

But that's really good news.

H-How the hell is that good news?

Because! Now I can write you
a prescription for Ozempic!

With your condition,
you're finally eligible

for semaglutides.

I-1 can get on Ozempic now?

Yes, ma'am. Congratulations
on your diabeartes, Mrs. Marsh.

We'll see you back here
looking skinny in a few weeks.

All right, next.
Come on in, Mrs. Munoz.

Experiencing some side effects
with your Lizzo?

- Yes.
- (FARTYS)

(MOANS)

Come on, dude.
You don't want to do this.

CARTMAN: Yes, I do.

Eric, there's so much to live for.

What's he doing?

Cartman's in there with a cereal bomb

that he says is ten times
more destructive than an Oppenheimer.

He says it's called a Stormy Daniels.

Cartman!
Cartman, stop! I have a solution!

CARTMAN: Forget it.
I'm going down with a Stormy Daniels.

No, Cartman, stop eating!

I found more semagiutide.

It's gonna be here within the hour.

(LOCK CLICKING)

Go easy, Cartman.

What do you mean
it's gonna be here within the hour?

I found another supplier
in North Carolina.

They make raw semaglutide
for all the other drugs.

They let me order a whole truck
of raw powder wholesale.

The app says the truck
is already almost here. See?

As soon as it gets here,
we can make you another dose,

and you'll have your willpower back.

You just gotta hang on
a little bit longer.

Fine. I won't eat it just yet.

Kenny, put this in the refrigerator
so the skin doesn't get soggy.

(KENNY MUMBLES IN DISGUST)

Okay, let's be totally ready
when the truck gets here.

Stan, get the biostatic water ready.

Butters, prepare another syringe.

The delivery is gonna be here
in the next 40 minutes.

(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

And I get whiskey-bent and hell-bound

(TRUCK DOWNSHIFTS)

Play me some songs
About a ramblin' man

(AIR BRAKES HISS)

Got some construction going on.

Seems kind of inappropriate

to wear a midriff shirt
while working, don't it?

Take your foot off the pedal!

How much semaglutide
you got in the back?

- Hey!
- Get him, girls!

MAN: (SCREAMS) No!

- (BLOWS LANDING)
- Stop.

Stop!

Fuck this!

What the hell are you doing?

You're bad people!

I'm getting the fuck away from you!

Hey!

(SCREAMS)

He's taking the drugs!

- Get that motherfucker!
- (TIRES SQUEALING)

Shit!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(GUN COCKS)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Oh, Goddamn it.

- KENNY: (MUFFLED) What's wrong?
- The truck was almost here

but now it's going
the wrong way again.

What the fuck is this guy doing?

(GRUNTS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(TIRES SCREECH)

KYLE: Oh, for fuck's sake.
Now it's doing that thing

where it just keeps
spinning around in circles.

Oh, I hate that.

Come on, we got to go
track this asshole down.

- (SHOUTS)
(TIRES SCREECH)

Whoa!

Oh!

(GRUNTING)

What the fuck?

The truck went west by Target.
And then went east again.

I think it's over this way now.

I don't get it.
It says the truck is right here.

Uh, there it is.

(RANDY SCREAMING)

Oh, shit!

- (BRAKES SQUEAL)
(TIRES SCREECH)

(RANDY SCREAMING)

Dad, what are you doing?

Uh, oh, uh...

I'm in deep, Stan.

Daddy's a drug addict.

I should have never worn
this midriff shirt to school.

Certain things
just aren't appropriate to wear.

Uh-oh, look, fellas!

Give us the drugs!

Aw, not them again.

Get in the truck!

Whoa, whoa, wait!

(SHOUTS) Ah, fellas, help!

(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)

You guys, look.

Is that the cops?

What is that?

Destroy that shipment!

Dude, it's the Cocoa Puffs bird.

(GUNFIRE)

And-And Cap'n Crunch.
I think that's Cap'n Crunch.

You ain't taking this shit
to your compounding pharmacy!

What's a compounding pharmacy?

- (SCREAMS)
- Whoal!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(GRUNTS)

WOMAN: Those are our drugs, fuckos!

(GRUNTING)

- (HORN BLARING)
(CAP'N CRUNCH SCREAMING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)
(GRUNTS)

(KENNY SCREAMS, GRUNTS)

- (CARTMAN SCREAMS)
- Tony the Tiger killed Kenny!

(GRUNTS)

Stan, take Daddy's gun
and shoot those MILFs!

No, Dad,
I'm not shooting anyone's mom.

I'll fucking shoot them.

(SINGING)
Dat-doobie-doobie-dat Golden Crisp.

Butters, what are you doing?

Oh, hey, Mom.

Butters, you give Mommy
those obesity drugs right now!

But I thought you didn't use
obesity drugs, Mama.

I thought you were
doing Pilates and stuff.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTS)

- (BRAKES SCREECHING)
(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

Ooh!

(MUSIC INTENSIFIES)

(SCREAMS)

Fuck you!

Koo-koo!

Koo-koo! Koo-koo!

(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

- STAN: The fuck are you doing?
- l can reach it.

Cartman, get your fat ass
back in the truck.

No, I can get them.
I can get the obesity drugs.

I can have my hunger
suppressed for another week.

(ALL SCREAMING)

No!

Dad, look out!

Whoa!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(AIR BRAKES HISS)

Get the drugs in the garage!

We'll make Cartman's shot first.

Kyle, what the hell is going on?

We've got a full order of semaglutides
to be given to the needy.

They're all trying to take it,

but everything in here belongs to us.

(PRINTER WHIRRING)

Hello.

Where's our drugs?

Yeah, the, uh, pharmaceutical company

you ordered from was insured with us.

What do you mean?
We-we don't get them?

You'll-you'll be able to get them.

See, we just work in tandem
with the suppliers,

so all you'll have to do
is navigate...

BOTH: ...the American
healthcare system.

(MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING)

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

Oh, my God, stop!

Sharon, you don't want
to mess with that stuff.

Randy, why are you wearing
one of Shelly's shirts?

It's time for me
to tell you the truth.

I told you that
I've been going out on hikes

and doing Pilates.

But it's not true.

I've just been...

doing that shit.

You have?

Why didn't you just admit it
when I asked you?

Well, ‘cause
I thought you'd be pissed.

I had no idea
you'd want to do 'em, too.

But how have you been getting them?
They're so hard to get.

A, uh, a group of women
were sharing theirs with me.

I'd go to their houses and, uh...

do it with them.

Oh, and what do you think?
Are you seeing any improvements?

Wha-- Wait. You're-you're not pissed?

No, I'm not pissed, Randy.

Everyone wants to do this stuff.

How can you say no to it?

You are so much cooler

than any other woman out there,
you know that?

And I do not want you
to change one bit.

You don't? Really?

The truth is, Sharon,

I think these are bad drugs.

They just made me
crave everything less

and yet my dick still worked.

Hey, let's say just you and me

go to the Holiday Inn tonight
and do some molly.

What? Like we did back in college?

Yeah, sweetheart.

Let's go do some good drugs.

(RANDY AND SHARON LAUGHING)

RANDY: Hey, oh, hey, Sharon,
look, my dick doesn't work!

- SHARON: Oh, wow.
- RANDY: Yeah! Ha-ha, ooh.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

Well, I guess that's it
for our compounding pharmacy.

Yeah, I'm just kind of glad
it's all over with.

I was wrong.

I used to think fat people
just needed more willpower.

But now I see what it's like
to have willpower not be enough.

We got sugar companies,
pharmaceutical companies

and insurance companies
all just trying to figure out

how to make money
off of our fucking health.

How can anyone have willpower

when all these forces
are manipulating us every day?

It's impossible.

And I've learned
one very important thing.

It isn't fair to put the blame
on anyone for their weight.

Yeah.

ALL: Yeah.

What do you say, guys?

Let's all agree as a school--

No, as a society,

that we won't make fun
of obesity anymore.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Wait, what did you say?

I said we're not going to be critical
of anyone for their weight ever again.

(FREE RIDE BY
EDGAR WINTER PLAYING)

Are you serious? But, you guys,

that's all I've been wishing for
this whole time.

It all worked out, you guys.

- Kyle, guess what?
- What?

You're a fucking dipshit ginger.

You've got fucking freckles
and your religion is a Goddamn lie.

Shut up, Cartman.

You, uh, you...

Oh, my God, yes!

Fucking yes!

Wendy, you've got
little tiny saggy tits

and your breath stinks.

- What?
- That's it!

That's it, you can't
say anything, and you...

Come on and take a free ride...

Hey, Mr. Rollins,
you dress like a bitch.

Hello, ma'am, you've got a big nose.

Hey, do I know you? Fuck you.

Nice hair, cheesedick.

Ha-ha, you're in a wheelchair.

Hey, ugly, I'm checking in, please.

You're flying to Pakistan
all by yourself, young man?

That's right.

I've got a lot of catching up to do.

Yes!

Free ride

Come on and sit here by my side

Come on and take a free ride

English - SDH