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1
00:00:00,213 --> 00:00:02,933
Back in the '80s,
I was a boy who put it all
2
00:00:02,958 --> 00:00:04,213
on the line romantically.
3
00:00:04,214 --> 00:00:05,715
But now that I was
kind of an adult
4
00:00:05,716 --> 00:00:07,341
in kind of an
adult relationship,
5
00:00:07,342 --> 00:00:09,260
I didn't need to do
that stuff anymore.
6
00:00:09,261 --> 00:00:10,553
Nice ketchup
work.
7
00:00:10,554 --> 00:00:12,513
You really know your way
around a bottle of red.
8
00:00:12,514 --> 00:00:14,974
Aww, look who knows
how to talk to a lady.
9
00:00:14,975 --> 00:00:16,976
I used to be a tad
uncomfy around the gals,
10
00:00:16,977 --> 00:00:19,020
but now complimenting
your condiment work
11
00:00:19,021 --> 00:00:20,146
is as easy as breathing.
12
00:00:20,147 --> 00:00:21,773
Don't you carry an inhaler?
13
00:00:21,774 --> 00:00:22,982
You know it.
14
00:00:22,983 --> 00:00:25,234
You and ragweed take
my breath away, girl.
15
00:00:27,488 --> 00:00:30,156
Yep, I was on cloud nine.
16
00:00:30,157 --> 00:00:31,574
Every moment with
Carmen felt like
17
00:00:31,575 --> 00:00:33,284
a fantastical dance number.
18
00:00:33,285 --> 00:00:35,620
♪ Ohhh, yeah ♪
19
00:00:35,621 --> 00:00:39,749
♪ Dance all night ♪
20
00:00:39,750 --> 00:00:41,709
♪ Never gonna stop ♪
21
00:00:41,710 --> 00:00:45,546
♪ We'll be groovin'
till the break of dawn ♪
22
00:00:45,547 --> 00:00:52,261
♪ Hey, dance all night ♪
23
00:00:52,262 --> 00:00:59,060
♪ Doo-doo-da da-da-doo ♪ Johnny:
Goldnerd!
24
00:00:59,061 --> 00:01:00,228
Goldnerd! What the hell, bro?!
25
00:01:00,229 --> 00:01:01,896
Stop getting freaky
with the mop.
26
00:01:01,897 --> 00:01:04,190
Sorry, I was in a
semi-fugue state
27
00:01:04,191 --> 00:01:05,525
dreaming about my special lady.
28
00:01:05,526 --> 00:01:06,401
Nancy Reagan? No.
29
00:01:06,402 --> 00:01:07,860
Poetess Maya Angelou?
30
00:01:07,861 --> 00:01:09,445
What? Leslie Nielsen?
31
00:01:09,446 --> 00:01:10,905
It's Carmen, my girlfriend!
32
00:01:10,906 --> 00:01:12,490
Yeah, I don't think so, man.
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00:01:12,491 --> 00:01:13,783
We're literally dating,
34
00:01:13,784 --> 00:01:15,910
and you think white-haired
actor Leslie Nielsen
35
00:01:15,911 --> 00:01:17,870
is a more likely
romantic partner for me?
36
00:01:17,871 --> 00:01:19,539
Tennis legend Billie Jean King?
37
00:01:19,540 --> 00:01:21,415
Yep, BJK. You got me.
38
00:01:21,416 --> 00:01:24,085
It was useless... I would
always be a romantic at heart.
39
00:01:24,086 --> 00:01:26,212
Which meant it was time to
celebrate our relationship,
40
00:01:26,213 --> 00:01:27,922
no matter how small the reason.
41
00:01:27,923 --> 00:01:29,715
Oh, don't worry.
42
00:01:29,716 --> 00:01:31,717
I won't peek at the
special surprise
43
00:01:31,718 --> 00:01:33,594
someone's making his mamaaaa!
44
00:01:33,595 --> 00:01:34,555
None
of this is for you.
45
00:01:34,556 --> 00:01:35,680
And why would it be?
46
00:01:35,681 --> 00:01:37,265
Because it's Mother's Day.
47
00:01:37,266 --> 00:01:38,391
No, it's not.
48
00:01:38,392 --> 00:01:39,725
It's a random
Tuesday in February.
49
00:01:39,726 --> 00:01:40,810
Well, every day should
be Mother's Day.
50
00:01:40,811 --> 00:01:42,728
We only created
the entire world.
51
00:01:42,729 --> 00:01:44,814
You certainly created
this awkward moment.
52
00:01:44,815 --> 00:01:46,274
And these are for
Carmen. Really?
53
00:01:46,275 --> 00:01:47,900
You're still seeing
that girl, huh?
54
00:01:47,901 --> 00:01:49,694
For the millionth time, yes.
55
00:01:49,695 --> 00:01:50,987
So what's it gonna be this time?
56
00:01:50,988 --> 00:01:53,114
A standard "Say
Anything" boombox
57
00:01:53,115 --> 00:01:56,075
followed by a trellis climb
for a PG-rated smooch?
58
00:01:56,076 --> 00:01:58,202
You don't know all my moves!
59
00:01:58,203 --> 00:01:59,579
But basically, yeah.
60
00:01:59,580 --> 00:02:01,163
It's our "one month-iversary."
61
00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:02,748
Month-iversary?!
62
00:02:02,749 --> 00:02:04,375
Plus I rented a tux, and I'm
putting the final touches
63
00:02:04,376 --> 00:02:06,043
on a patented Adam
Goldberg mixtape!
64
00:02:06,044 --> 00:02:07,461
Why are you crying?
65
00:02:07,462 --> 00:02:09,797
I just remember when you
were so teeny and innocent
66
00:02:09,798 --> 00:02:11,549
and didn't like
strange local women.
67
00:02:11,550 --> 00:02:13,385
I'm taking this upstairs.
68
00:02:15,846 --> 00:02:18,097
But I love you! I've
always loved you!
69
00:02:18,098 --> 00:02:19,891
Okay, how do you turn
this thing on from here?
70
00:02:19,892 --> 00:02:23,811
♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪
71
00:02:23,812 --> 00:02:27,023
♪ But nonetheless, I
feel the need to say ♪
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00:02:27,024 --> 00:02:29,650
- Captions by VITAC...
73
00:02:29,651 --> 00:02:31,110
♪ I don't know the future ♪
74
00:02:31,111 --> 00:02:35,031
♪ But the past keeps
getting clearer every day ♪
75
00:02:35,032 --> 00:02:37,533
It was February
22nd, 1980-something,
76
00:02:37,534 --> 00:02:39,243
and Erica was
preparing to introduce
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00:02:39,244 --> 00:02:41,162
the newest member
of the Goldbergs
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00:02:41,163 --> 00:02:43,122
to the one person
who hadn't met her...
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00:02:43,123 --> 00:02:45,291
Erica's best friend,
Lainey Lewis.
80
00:02:45,292 --> 00:02:46,667
Okay, I need to get this right.
81
00:02:46,668 --> 00:02:49,337
With the hat or without the hat?
82
00:02:49,338 --> 00:02:51,380
I think you're putting too much
emphasis on appearances, Erica.
83
00:02:51,381 --> 00:02:53,716
It's just been a while since
Lainey's come back from LA.
84
00:02:53,717 --> 00:02:55,551
I want our baby to
make a good impression.
85
00:02:55,552 --> 00:02:56,719
Get the tiny sunglasses.
86
00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,638
It's true, she's a fox.
87
00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:00,181
Good luck, boys in 15 years.
88
00:03:00,182 --> 00:03:01,599
25 years!
89
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,184
Or whenever. I'm a chill dad.
90
00:03:03,185 --> 00:03:05,353
I'm just saying, Lainey
has a rock 'n roll life,
91
00:03:05,354 --> 00:03:07,480
and I'm a full-time mom.
92
00:03:07,481 --> 00:03:08,981
Our lives couldn't
be more different.
93
00:03:08,982 --> 00:03:11,817
Please, she's probably
wallowing in misery like you.
94
00:03:11,818 --> 00:03:13,861
Like me? And why would
she be wallowing?
95
00:03:13,862 --> 00:03:15,363
Because her spirit
has been crushed
96
00:03:15,364 --> 00:03:17,531
since Barry went back to
the girlfriend dealership
97
00:03:17,532 --> 00:03:19,200
and upgraded his model.
98
00:03:23,664 --> 00:03:25,164
It's so great to see you!
99
00:03:25,165 --> 00:03:26,165
Oh, you, too!
100
00:03:26,166 --> 00:03:28,209
What a fun, screechy reunion.
101
00:03:28,210 --> 00:03:30,878
I was not met with that
level of enthusiasm
102
00:03:30,879 --> 00:03:32,421
when I scooped
her at the airport
103
00:03:32,422 --> 00:03:33,923
in the dead center
of the work day.
104
00:03:33,924 --> 00:03:36,133
Yeah,
Dad's here, too.
105
00:03:36,134 --> 00:03:37,510
Now where's that little
beam of sunshine?
106
00:03:37,511 --> 00:03:39,428
Auntie Lainey, meet Muriel.
107
00:03:39,429 --> 00:03:41,097
Oh, my God.
108
00:03:41,098 --> 00:03:43,391
This is the cutest child
who ever walked the earth.
109
00:03:43,392 --> 00:03:44,892
Oh, she's actually
not walking yet.
110
00:03:44,893 --> 00:03:45,977
The doctor said
it's totally normal,
111
00:03:45,978 --> 00:03:47,478
no matter how many
times I ask him.
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00:03:47,479 --> 00:03:48,813
Lainey Lewis.
113
00:03:48,814 --> 00:03:51,232
And your father,
Mr. Bill Lewis.
114
00:03:51,233 --> 00:03:52,483
Hello to both of you.
115
00:03:52,484 --> 00:03:54,443
Hi, Bar. Is that a
giant chocolate kiss?
116
00:03:54,444 --> 00:03:56,654
'Tis. Been working it all day.
117
00:03:56,655 --> 00:03:58,531
Wanted to bloat up so not
to look too attractive
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00:03:58,532 --> 00:03:59,532
for my old flame.
119
00:03:59,533 --> 00:04:00,741
Look at that, it worked.
120
00:04:00,742 --> 00:04:02,243
It's also out of respect
121
00:04:02,244 --> 00:04:03,620
to my former lover's father.
122
00:04:04,830 --> 00:04:06,956
I'm no threat to your baby girl.
123
00:04:06,957 --> 00:04:09,375
The brown ring around your
lips tells the story, son,
124
00:04:09,376 --> 00:04:11,293
but thanks for the words.
125
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:12,878
Maybe I'll just swing
by later, Erica.
126
00:04:12,879 --> 00:04:14,630
But we have so much
to catch up on.
127
00:04:14,631 --> 00:04:16,465
Bye, kiddo. Move out as
soon as you can, 'kay?
128
00:04:16,466 --> 00:04:18,926
I guess I'll just use
the restroom at home.
129
00:04:18,927 --> 00:04:19,969
Ciao!
130
00:04:19,970 --> 00:04:21,303
Y'know, that reminds
me...
131
00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:24,181
I, too, should mosey on out
of here in a casual fashion.
132
00:04:24,182 --> 00:04:26,309
Take that the completely
innocent way it is intended.
133
00:04:26,310 --> 00:04:27,310
What you up to, Bar?
134
00:04:27,311 --> 00:04:28,561
Conventional things.
135
00:04:28,562 --> 00:04:30,396
Just going to meet Matt Bradley
136
00:04:30,397 --> 00:04:33,316
so he can help me pick out
some jean shorts, you know.
137
00:04:33,317 --> 00:04:35,818
What a strangely
exhausting three minutes.
138
00:04:35,819 --> 00:04:37,403
Hanky-panky! What?
139
00:04:37,404 --> 00:04:39,196
An illicit
entanglement is brewing
140
00:04:39,197 --> 00:04:40,656
between Barry and Lainey!
141
00:04:40,657 --> 00:04:42,366
No way. I know Lainey,
142
00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:45,244
and she would never
make that mistake again.
143
00:04:45,245 --> 00:04:46,329
For the third time.
144
00:04:46,330 --> 00:04:47,330
I don't know, whenever
Lainey's around,
145
00:04:47,331 --> 00:04:48,414
Barry gets all weird.
146
00:04:48,415 --> 00:04:49,707
He's Barry.
147
00:04:49,708 --> 00:04:51,292
Weird is his natural state.
148
00:04:51,293 --> 00:04:52,501
Plus, he's over Lainey.
149
00:04:52,502 --> 00:04:54,253
I just don't see Barry
ever fully moving on.
150
00:04:54,254 --> 00:04:55,713
Where is all this coming from?
151
00:04:55,714 --> 00:04:58,174
Okay, one, Barry is on record
saying that jean shorts
152
00:04:58,175 --> 00:04:59,925
are the uniform of "half-men."
153
00:04:59,926 --> 00:05:01,677
Two, Barry would never
go to Matt Bradley
154
00:05:01,678 --> 00:05:03,262
for advice about anything,
155
00:05:03,263 --> 00:05:05,765
and three, Matt
Bradley is out of town!
156
00:05:05,766 --> 00:05:08,100
Even if Barry was dumb enough
to go back down that road,
157
00:05:08,101 --> 00:05:10,227
there is no way
that Lainey would.
158
00:05:10,228 --> 00:05:12,480
If she was even thinking
about it, she'd tell me.
159
00:05:12,481 --> 00:05:14,148
I'm her best friend! Maybe.
160
00:05:14,149 --> 00:05:16,192
But there are two words she
hasn't shared with you...
161
00:05:16,193 --> 00:05:17,526
Hanky-panky. Oh.
162
00:05:17,527 --> 00:05:19,070
As Geoff worried
that Barry and Lainey
163
00:05:19,071 --> 00:05:21,030
were falling back
into a romance,
164
00:05:21,031 --> 00:05:23,491
my mom was worried about
my romance with Carmen.
165
00:05:23,492 --> 00:05:26,202
Adam and that Carmen
are moving way too fast.
166
00:05:26,203 --> 00:05:28,037
I thought we were discussing
my recent health scare,
167
00:05:28,038 --> 00:05:29,288
but let's pivot to you.
168
00:05:29,289 --> 00:05:31,874
I mean, his little heart
is just so sensitive.
169
00:05:31,875 --> 00:05:34,543
What if she rejects
him? It'll crush him.
170
00:05:34,544 --> 00:05:38,631
He does seem like a person
who's been shielded by someone
171
00:05:38,632 --> 00:05:40,508
from experiencing most things
172
00:05:40,509 --> 00:05:42,176
any adult would have by now.
173
00:05:43,261 --> 00:05:44,845
Ginzy! Hm?
174
00:05:44,846 --> 00:05:47,223
That Carmen is here, and
she's with another man!
175
00:05:47,224 --> 00:05:48,349
Really?
176
00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:49,600
Okay, here's what
we're gonna do...
177
00:05:49,601 --> 00:05:51,310
Assume the best and
mind our own business?
178
00:05:51,311 --> 00:05:53,479
You're gonna work your
way over to their table.
179
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,106
Be invisible and
totally forgettable...
180
00:05:55,107 --> 00:05:56,482
just like that!
181
00:05:56,483 --> 00:05:57,900
Yes!
182
00:05:57,901 --> 00:06:00,736
You're gonna spy on them and
write down everything they say.
183
00:06:00,737 --> 00:06:01,821
Beverly, part of the reason
184
00:06:01,822 --> 00:06:03,489
that I asked you
for coffee today
185
00:06:03,490 --> 00:06:05,991
is I wanted to say that I
no longer want to be roped
186
00:06:05,992 --> 00:06:08,119
into Goldbergs hijinks
and shenanigans.
187
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:09,412
Go-go-go-go-go-go-go!
188
00:06:12,707 --> 00:06:15,292
Oh! Excuse me.
189
00:06:15,293 --> 00:06:16,961
I just accidentally
bumped into you
190
00:06:16,962 --> 00:06:18,421
and started this conversation.
191
00:06:18,422 --> 00:06:19,630
I-I just gotta get
to the men's room.
192
00:06:19,631 --> 00:06:22,007
You're funny,
193
00:06:22,008 --> 00:06:23,926
and I've disarmed you by
giving you a compliment.
194
00:06:23,927 --> 00:06:25,928
Now, is that your
sister you're with?
195
00:06:25,929 --> 00:06:27,513
What? Oh, uh, no.
196
00:06:27,514 --> 00:06:28,848
Cousin? Landlord?
197
00:06:28,849 --> 00:06:30,474
Some woman you found
confused on the street,
198
00:06:30,475 --> 00:06:31,559
and you're buying
her coffee? What?
199
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,060
We're on a date,
if you must know.
200
00:06:33,061 --> 00:06:35,396
Oh, you mean like a platonic
work date with no feelings?
201
00:06:35,397 --> 00:06:36,897
Uh, a date date.
202
00:06:36,898 --> 00:06:38,149
That two-timing hussy!
203
00:06:38,150 --> 00:06:39,150
I'm so confused right now.
204
00:06:39,151 --> 00:06:41,318
Well, nobody cares.
Just... get...
205
00:06:41,319 --> 00:06:44,697
As my mom raced off to stop
me from my grand gesture...
206
00:06:44,698 --> 00:06:46,574
I will protect my baby!
207
00:06:46,575 --> 00:06:48,909
Across town, Geoff was
looking for evidence
208
00:06:48,910 --> 00:06:49,828
of two-timing of his own.
209
00:06:49,829 --> 00:06:52,788
Oh, weird. Look who it is!
210
00:06:52,789 --> 00:06:54,331
Geoffrey Olivia Schwartz,
211
00:06:54,332 --> 00:06:55,875
did you use putting
our baby to sleep
212
00:06:55,876 --> 00:06:57,334
as a way to get me
to spy on Barry?
213
00:06:57,335 --> 00:06:58,335
I know something's going on!
214
00:06:58,336 --> 00:07:00,004
I can just feel it!
215
00:07:00,005 --> 00:07:01,797
Look, he's stopping at
that cheesesteak place.
216
00:07:01,798 --> 00:07:03,090
You know Lainey
loves cheesesteaks.
217
00:07:03,091 --> 00:07:04,341
This is dumb.
218
00:07:04,342 --> 00:07:05,467
I brought my birding binoculars.
219
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:06,760
And it gets dumber. Look!
220
00:07:06,761 --> 00:07:08,137
He's getting two cheesesteaks!
221
00:07:08,138 --> 00:07:09,597
We have to follow that cheese.
222
00:07:09,598 --> 00:07:11,098
Should we have disguises, too?
223
00:07:11,099 --> 00:07:12,099
Way ahead of you.
224
00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:13,267
Let my mom's gardening hats
225
00:07:13,268 --> 00:07:15,477
and my dad's cataract
shades camouflage us!
226
00:07:19,441 --> 00:07:20,983
Our marriage is weird. Mm.
227
00:07:20,984 --> 00:07:23,485
And so, they followed
Barry all over town.
228
00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:25,779
Until they ended up here.
229
00:07:25,780 --> 00:07:27,406
He's turning towards that house.
230
00:07:27,407 --> 00:07:28,741
Wait, that's Lainey's house!
231
00:07:30,410 --> 00:07:31,452
Oh!
232
00:07:33,663 --> 00:07:35,372
I can't believe it.
233
00:07:35,373 --> 00:07:37,208
Barry and Lainey...
234
00:07:37,209 --> 00:07:39,043
Oh, why did you
make me know this?!
235
00:07:39,044 --> 00:07:40,544
While my sister and
Geoff were getting closer
236
00:07:40,545 --> 00:07:42,463
to the truth about Barry,
237
00:07:42,464 --> 00:07:44,673
I was about to tell Carmen
how truly close to her I felt.
238
00:07:44,674 --> 00:07:45,966
Stop! Mom!
239
00:07:45,967 --> 00:07:47,301
What the hell are you doing?
240
00:07:47,302 --> 00:07:48,469
Protecting you!
241
00:07:48,470 --> 00:07:50,763
The grand gesture...
Abort, abort!
242
00:07:50,764 --> 00:07:52,514
This is way too far.
243
00:07:52,515 --> 00:07:53,807
I know you don't
like Carmen, but...
244
00:07:53,808 --> 00:07:56,477
Adam, I saw her on a date.
245
00:07:56,478 --> 00:07:58,354
A date?
246
00:07:58,355 --> 00:07:59,605
You must have misunderstood.
247
00:07:59,606 --> 00:08:00,856
I'm telling you, it's true.
248
00:08:00,857 --> 00:08:03,317
Look, I appreciate your concern,
249
00:08:03,318 --> 00:08:05,569
but I'll just talk to
Carmen and clear this up.
250
00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:06,904
Go home. But,
Schmoopie Poopie...
251
00:08:06,905 --> 00:08:07,989
Go!
252
00:08:11,201 --> 00:08:12,576
Was that your mom? Yeah.
253
00:08:12,577 --> 00:08:15,621
She just was freaking
out because, um,
254
00:08:15,622 --> 00:08:18,707
she thought she saw you on
a date with some other guy.
255
00:08:18,708 --> 00:08:20,584
Oh. She saw us?
256
00:08:20,585 --> 00:08:22,169
That's awkward.
257
00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:24,421
So then, you were on a date?
258
00:08:24,422 --> 00:08:25,839
Yeah, but, I mean, it's okay,
259
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,299
'cause you and I
are casual, right?
260
00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:30,469
Oh,
definitely! Casual!
261
00:08:30,470 --> 00:08:32,429
Wait, why do you have roses?
262
00:08:32,430 --> 00:08:33,806
And what's the cassette?
263
00:08:33,807 --> 00:08:36,183
These roses are...
264
00:08:36,184 --> 00:08:37,309
for Carla!
265
00:08:37,310 --> 00:08:38,602
She's had a hard time lately.
266
00:08:38,603 --> 00:08:40,896
Awww. I can
totally sell these.
267
00:08:40,897 --> 00:08:42,564
And the mixtape is...
268
00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:43,857
for Johnny!
269
00:08:43,858 --> 00:08:45,943
Friendship mix! How
much Rush is on here?
270
00:08:45,944 --> 00:08:48,112
Somewhere between zero and none.
271
00:08:48,113 --> 00:08:50,781
You don't know me at
all! Friendship rejected!
272
00:08:50,782 --> 00:08:55,035
You... weren't about to do
some big romantic thing for me?
273
00:08:55,036 --> 00:08:56,829
'Cause I don't want things
to be weird for you,
274
00:08:56,830 --> 00:08:58,247
and if they are, then
maybe we should...
275
00:08:58,248 --> 00:08:59,873
Nope! Not weird.
276
00:08:59,874 --> 00:09:02,084
Look, if you can't handle
a casual relationship...
277
00:09:02,085 --> 00:09:03,877
Oh, I can handle casual.
278
00:09:03,878 --> 00:09:07,047
If anyone can be
casual, I can be casual.
279
00:09:08,758 --> 00:09:10,634
I can't be casual, Mama!
280
00:09:10,635 --> 00:09:12,761
Don't worry, baby.
Mama will protect you
281
00:09:12,762 --> 00:09:14,847
from the nuanced
adult relationship.
282
00:09:20,687 --> 00:09:22,771
Erica and Geoff had caught
Barry doing... something,
283
00:09:22,772 --> 00:09:23,856
and Erica was pretty worked up
284
00:09:23,857 --> 00:09:25,107
to nail down what it was.
285
00:09:25,108 --> 00:09:26,483
I can't believe it.
286
00:09:26,484 --> 00:09:27,943
If Lainey is having
an affair with Barry,
287
00:09:27,944 --> 00:09:29,361
why wouldn't she tell me?
288
00:09:29,362 --> 00:09:31,530
Isn't it more important that
he's cheating on my sister?
289
00:09:31,531 --> 00:09:32,823
Sure. She's not
one of us, though.
290
00:09:32,824 --> 00:09:34,617
She's the aunt to your child.
291
00:09:34,618 --> 00:09:36,660
Yeah, through marriage, I guess.
292
00:09:36,661 --> 00:09:38,704
Oh, it's Lainey.
293
00:09:38,705 --> 00:09:39,497
I need to get to
the bottom of this.
294
00:09:39,498 --> 00:09:40,748
Now hide! Hide?
295
00:09:40,749 --> 00:09:41,915
Yes. This is the kind of thing
296
00:09:41,916 --> 00:09:43,083
only best friends
confide in each other!
297
00:09:43,084 --> 00:09:44,084
Oh! Now go!
298
00:09:46,087 --> 00:09:47,421
Heyyy!
299
00:09:47,422 --> 00:09:50,132
Hey there
best friend,
300
00:09:50,133 --> 00:09:51,675
no matter what other things
301
00:09:51,676 --> 00:09:53,135
have transpired in our lives.
302
00:09:53,136 --> 00:09:54,637
How are things going, huh?
303
00:09:54,638 --> 00:09:55,888
Oh, come on, let's
get caught up.
304
00:09:55,889 --> 00:09:57,306
Spill our darkest secrets.
305
00:09:57,307 --> 00:09:59,224
I wish I had some
dark secrets to spill.
306
00:09:59,225 --> 00:10:00,809
I feel like I've been
so boring lately.
307
00:10:00,810 --> 00:10:02,061
Look, I'd like to think
that you'll always be
308
00:10:02,062 --> 00:10:03,812
the one person I can trust...
309
00:10:03,813 --> 00:10:05,856
Who I can confess anything to.
310
00:10:05,857 --> 00:10:07,399
Aww, of course you can, Erica.
311
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,902
I'm so glad to hear
that.
312
00:10:09,903 --> 00:10:11,236
I've been thinking
about cheating on Geoff.
313
00:10:11,237 --> 00:10:12,738
You? What?
314
00:10:12,739 --> 00:10:14,740
I think about being with
another man constantly.
315
00:10:14,741 --> 00:10:17,242
Where I'd meet the guy,
what hotel we'd go to...
316
00:10:17,243 --> 00:10:18,952
The Bay Breeze Inn off 276.
317
00:10:18,953 --> 00:10:20,954
It's close, but
also out of the way.
318
00:10:20,955 --> 00:10:23,040
Um, I'm not sure how to respond.
319
00:10:23,041 --> 00:10:24,416
The appropriate response
would be to admit
320
00:10:24,417 --> 00:10:25,876
that you've had some
similar feelings
321
00:10:25,877 --> 00:10:28,420
and/or participated in any
infidelities of your own?
322
00:10:28,421 --> 00:10:29,880
Uh... Because I
think about cheating
323
00:10:29,881 --> 00:10:31,965
on Geoff all the time.
What?
324
00:10:31,966 --> 00:10:33,926
I imagine a strange
man's hands in my hair,
325
00:10:33,927 --> 00:10:36,136
on my body,
whispering in my ear.
326
00:10:36,137 --> 00:10:37,763
Do you judge me or
do you kinda get it?
327
00:10:37,764 --> 00:10:39,014
You guys seem so happy together.
328
00:10:39,015 --> 00:10:41,225
No one can know the
heart of another, right?
329
00:10:41,226 --> 00:10:44,687
Which is why I don't know
yours... so use your words.
330
00:10:44,688 --> 00:10:46,772
Any hanky-panky going
on? Hanky-panky?
331
00:10:46,773 --> 00:10:47,773
If I were cheating on Geoff,
332
00:10:47,774 --> 00:10:49,566
you'd be the first
person I told.
333
00:10:49,567 --> 00:10:50,901
No detail would be spared.
334
00:10:50,902 --> 00:10:52,361
So spill it.
335
00:10:52,362 --> 00:10:53,904
I mean, actually... Yes?
336
00:10:53,905 --> 00:10:56,156
I was waiting for
the right moment to tell you
337
00:10:56,157 --> 00:10:59,034
Steve and I broke up recently,
so there's no one to cheat on.
338
00:10:59,035 --> 00:11:00,202
It's been really lonely.
339
00:11:00,203 --> 00:11:01,787
Has it? Yes.
340
00:11:01,788 --> 00:11:04,039
And I'm still upset, too.
341
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,709
But I'm really worried
about you right now.
342
00:11:06,710 --> 00:11:09,253
So let me just get us
some tea and let's dig in.
343
00:11:09,254 --> 00:11:11,672
Just know I care
about you, okay?
344
00:11:11,673 --> 00:11:13,674
Well, I care about you, too.
345
00:11:13,675 --> 00:11:15,008
Almost as much as I
want to cheat on Geoff!
346
00:11:17,262 --> 00:11:18,887
What in the actual?!
347
00:11:18,888 --> 00:11:21,098
You wanted the truth,
right? Well, we got it!
348
00:11:21,099 --> 00:11:22,725
The only truth I've
found out is that my wife
349
00:11:22,726 --> 00:11:24,226
would be great at
having an affair!
350
00:11:24,227 --> 00:11:26,729
C'mon! Lainey and
Steve broke up.
351
00:11:26,730 --> 00:11:28,647
She's been lonely.
The pieces fit.
352
00:11:28,648 --> 00:11:29,607
I think you were right.
353
00:11:29,608 --> 00:11:30,816
Oh, poor Joanne.
354
00:11:30,817 --> 00:11:31,817
I've gotta tell her.
355
00:11:31,818 --> 00:11:33,569
No, she will hate you forever.
356
00:11:33,570 --> 00:11:35,446
There's only one way
to let her know...
357
00:11:35,447 --> 00:11:37,614
Get her to stumble
onto the crime herself.
358
00:11:37,615 --> 00:11:38,741
Oh, that's incredibly harsh.
359
00:11:38,742 --> 00:11:40,325
It's the only way.
360
00:11:40,326 --> 00:11:42,745
Okay, just promise me you'll
never go to that Bay Breeze Inn.
361
00:11:42,746 --> 00:11:45,164
That filthy dump? Never. What?
362
00:11:45,165 --> 00:11:46,832
Or anywhere else,
obviously.
363
00:11:46,833 --> 00:11:49,835
While Geoff and Erica had
clarity about Barry and Lainey,
364
00:11:49,836 --> 00:11:52,254
Carmen had left
me very confused.
365
00:11:52,255 --> 00:11:53,505
Casual?
366
00:11:53,506 --> 00:11:55,048
I mean, I'm a guy
367
00:11:55,049 --> 00:11:56,717
who goes from intense
monogamous relationship
368
00:11:56,718 --> 00:11:58,469
to intense monogamous
relationship,
369
00:11:58,470 --> 00:11:59,887
like a normal person!
370
00:11:59,888 --> 00:12:01,680
Are you sure this
woman is for you?
371
00:12:01,681 --> 00:12:02,890
She doesn't seem to understand
372
00:12:02,891 --> 00:12:05,267
how special my perfect
little angel is.
373
00:12:05,268 --> 00:12:07,394
Look, I have to grow
up sometime, Mom,
374
00:12:07,395 --> 00:12:08,937
and I really like Carmen.
375
00:12:08,938 --> 00:12:11,148
So if she wants to
be non-exclusive,
376
00:12:11,149 --> 00:12:13,400
I guess I'm just gonna
have to figure out how.
377
00:12:13,401 --> 00:12:15,694
If I may remind you,
you happen to be the son
378
00:12:15,695 --> 00:12:17,946
of the greatest Yenta
the world has ever known.
379
00:12:17,947 --> 00:12:19,948
I don't think I've ever
said this to you before,
380
00:12:19,949 --> 00:12:21,158
but I like the way
you're thinking.
381
00:12:21,159 --> 00:12:24,077
If my handsome little man
needs to be non-exclusive,
382
00:12:24,078 --> 00:12:28,040
we're gonna show her how
non-exclusive he can be.
383
00:12:28,041 --> 00:12:29,208
It's matchmaking time!
384
00:12:31,961 --> 00:12:34,797
My mom pulled out all the
stops. Beverly.
385
00:12:34,798 --> 00:12:37,299
She used the phone,
the Rolodex...
386
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:39,551
obvious choices,
less obvious choices.
387
00:12:42,055 --> 00:12:45,516
She left no stone unturned
to find me a perfect match.
388
00:12:45,517 --> 00:12:47,810
So, what are we working with?
389
00:12:47,811 --> 00:12:50,479
Lay it on me. Who's lining
up for a dose of Vitamin A?
390
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,356
Lotta interest, um,
391
00:12:52,357 --> 00:12:55,818
but I think this might
not be dating season.
392
00:12:55,819 --> 00:12:57,152
Dating season?
393
00:12:57,153 --> 00:12:59,071
You know how many ladies
like to go away on vacation
394
00:12:59,072 --> 00:13:00,531
at the end of February.
395
00:13:00,532 --> 00:13:04,159
Oh, my God. Nobody wanted
to go out with me, did they?
396
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:05,494
You're a bit of a tough sell.
397
00:13:05,495 --> 00:13:06,954
You put off going to college,
398
00:13:06,955 --> 00:13:08,455
you're working
part-time in a diner,
399
00:13:08,456 --> 00:13:09,832
you're living at home,
400
00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:11,667
and it does not sweeten the pot
401
00:13:11,668 --> 00:13:13,460
that you're currently
seeing someone else
402
00:13:13,461 --> 00:13:15,504
in a non-exclusive sitch.
403
00:13:15,505 --> 00:13:18,257
Now, the only one that might
be a possibility is Essie,
404
00:13:18,258 --> 00:13:19,883
but she said she'd
have to think on it.
405
00:13:19,884 --> 00:13:20,884
This is a nightmare!
406
00:13:20,885 --> 00:13:22,094
It's tearing me apart
407
00:13:22,095 --> 00:13:23,595
that the world can't see my boy
408
00:13:23,596 --> 00:13:25,097
for the hot property he is,
409
00:13:25,098 --> 00:13:26,932
even though, in this moment,
410
00:13:26,933 --> 00:13:29,142
to all appearances, it seems
like you're a loser. Thank you?
411
00:13:29,143 --> 00:13:30,644
I'll just have to go to Carmen
412
00:13:30,645 --> 00:13:33,272
and let her know we're
ready to be exclusive. "We"?
413
00:13:33,273 --> 00:13:34,481
Then point out all
the amazing things
414
00:13:34,482 --> 00:13:36,024
she'll be missing if
she doesn't accept
415
00:13:36,025 --> 00:13:37,609
a committed
relationship from you.
416
00:13:37,610 --> 00:13:40,320
No. I have to prove to
her that I can be casual.
417
00:13:40,321 --> 00:13:41,863
And how are you
supposed to do that?
418
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:44,408
You're the master of
the grand gesture.
419
00:13:44,409 --> 00:13:46,827
I can't tell you how
many I've seen from afar
420
00:13:46,828 --> 00:13:48,912
and wished I was the
girl in the window.
421
00:13:48,913 --> 00:13:52,207
Yes! Your horrifying and
possibly criminal revelation
422
00:13:52,208 --> 00:13:53,625
has given me an idea!
423
00:13:53,626 --> 00:13:54,960
You run away to the
Dominican Republic
424
00:13:54,961 --> 00:13:57,212
and start fresh?
So far from that.
425
00:13:57,213 --> 00:13:59,006
But what if I did something bold
426
00:13:59,007 --> 00:14:00,674
to prove to her how chill I am?
427
00:14:00,675 --> 00:14:04,219
You mean like a classic
Adam Goldberg grand gesture,
428
00:14:04,220 --> 00:14:06,763
but... of casualness?
429
00:14:06,764 --> 00:14:08,056
Exactly.
430
00:14:08,057 --> 00:14:09,558
That is the most brilliant
thing I've ever heard,
431
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:12,102
and I'm certain I'm not being
blinded by a mother's love
432
00:14:12,103 --> 00:14:14,646
and desperation for you
to never feel rejection.
433
00:14:14,647 --> 00:14:16,982
Go to her. I will!
434
00:14:16,983 --> 00:14:19,192
But, like, not in a rush.
435
00:14:19,193 --> 00:14:20,944
Also, I was sugarcoating it.
436
00:14:20,945 --> 00:14:23,655
It was a hard no from Essie.
437
00:14:23,656 --> 00:14:26,241
As I was off to show Carmen
how chill I could be,
438
00:14:26,242 --> 00:14:29,328
Geoff and Erica's
investigation was heating up.
439
00:14:29,329 --> 00:14:30,537
Jo Jo! Over here! Oh!
440
00:14:30,538 --> 00:14:31,997
Ooh! What's going on?
441
00:14:31,998 --> 00:14:34,625
Geoff said you were having
a fashion emergency, Erica?
442
00:14:34,626 --> 00:14:36,418
There's no fashion
emergency, Joanne.
443
00:14:36,419 --> 00:14:38,462
Sure, if you say
it, then it's true.
444
00:14:38,463 --> 00:14:40,464
Look, you're here because
we have something upsetting
445
00:14:40,465 --> 00:14:41,715
to show you.
446
00:14:41,716 --> 00:14:42,799
We're sorry, but my brother's
447
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,301
having an affair with Lainey.
448
00:14:44,302 --> 00:14:47,012
Puh-leeze. I'll believe
that when I see it.
449
00:14:47,013 --> 00:14:49,139
Barry's in there right now
with Lainey. We saw him go in.
450
00:14:49,140 --> 00:14:51,141
But he just told me he was
going to the library to study.
451
00:14:51,142 --> 00:14:52,684
That in itself should've
been a big clue.
452
00:14:52,685 --> 00:14:53,685
Hey, guys.
453
00:14:53,686 --> 00:14:54,978
Gah! Lainey?!
454
00:14:54,979 --> 00:14:57,189
Why are you talking behind
the Metcalfs' hedge?
455
00:14:57,190 --> 00:15:00,817
Wait, but if you're not in
there, what's Barry doing?
456
00:15:00,818 --> 00:15:02,152
Ca-caw! Ca-caw!
457
00:15:02,153 --> 00:15:03,570
What the hell?
458
00:15:03,571 --> 00:15:06,156
Ca-caw! Ca-caw!
459
00:15:06,157 --> 00:15:07,157
Barry?!
460
00:15:07,158 --> 00:15:08,241
Ca... Huh?
461
00:15:08,242 --> 00:15:10,661
Ah! This isn't what
it looks like, baby!
462
00:15:10,662 --> 00:15:12,704
I honestly have no idea
what it looks like.
463
00:15:12,705 --> 00:15:15,874
As things with Barry developed
an unexpected wrinkle,
464
00:15:15,875 --> 00:15:17,209
I was ready to iron things out
465
00:15:17,210 --> 00:15:19,711
with Carmen...
Casually, of course.
466
00:15:19,712 --> 00:15:21,672
♪ Round and
round, round and round ♪
467
00:15:21,673 --> 00:15:24,508
♪ The wheels on the bus
go round and round ♪
468
00:15:24,509 --> 00:15:26,551
All through the town ♪
469
00:15:29,514 --> 00:15:31,682
Adam?
470
00:15:31,683 --> 00:15:32,974
♪ The wipers on
the bus go... ♪
471
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:35,018
Heyyy!
472
00:15:35,019 --> 00:15:36,728
I was just wandering
through your neighborhood,
473
00:15:36,729 --> 00:15:38,355
and I'd like to make clear...
474
00:15:38,356 --> 00:15:41,400
Walking, not running, and
absolutely not in the rain.
475
00:15:41,401 --> 00:15:42,859
What's with the step stool?
476
00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:44,695
See, normally when
I'm dating someone,
477
00:15:44,696 --> 00:15:47,614
I'll scale a trellis to
their bedroom window.
478
00:15:47,615 --> 00:15:49,908
But as we are both being casual,
479
00:15:49,909 --> 00:15:51,827
thought it seemed a little much.
480
00:15:51,828 --> 00:15:54,329
So instead, I
brought a step stool
481
00:15:54,330 --> 00:15:56,498
to chat with you
near your toilet.
482
00:15:56,499 --> 00:15:57,999
Wanna explain the boombox?
483
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,919
Usually that'd be playing
a Peter Gabriel ballad,
484
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,004
but since we're in
a non-exclusive,
485
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,715
super-laid-back thing,
486
00:16:04,716 --> 00:16:06,341
I'm playing "The
Wheels on the Bus."
487
00:16:06,342 --> 00:16:10,721
So you came to my window with
a step stool and a boombox
488
00:16:10,722 --> 00:16:12,597
to profess your
ability
489
00:16:12,598 --> 00:16:14,850
to be in a casual relationship?
490
00:16:17,353 --> 00:16:18,645
Adam...
491
00:16:18,646 --> 00:16:21,773
Yeah,
it's not great.
492
00:16:23,317 --> 00:16:26,612
The truth is, I'm not built
for a casual relationship.
493
00:16:27,822 --> 00:16:29,573
I like you...
494
00:16:29,574 --> 00:16:31,199
a lot.
495
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,578
And I don't want to play it
cool or see other people.
496
00:16:34,579 --> 00:16:38,123
I want to jump in, cast
caution to the wind,
497
00:16:38,124 --> 00:16:39,458
and see where we land.
498
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:43,754
It's just who I am.
499
00:16:43,755 --> 00:16:45,797
Sorry I made it weird.
500
00:16:45,798 --> 00:16:48,592
Unfortunately,
that's also who I am.
501
00:16:57,643 --> 00:17:01,021
So it turned out Barry
wasn't having an affair with Lainey,
502
00:17:01,022 --> 00:17:01,898
but he did have a
secret relationship
503
00:17:01,899 --> 00:17:03,190
with her dad, Bill,
504
00:17:03,191 --> 00:17:04,983
which left us with
even more questions.
505
00:17:04,984 --> 00:17:07,652
It all started the day of
the Eagles-Cowboys game.
506
00:17:07,653 --> 00:17:09,154
We were both going to a bar
507
00:17:09,155 --> 00:17:10,906
'cause we had no one
to watch the game with.
508
00:17:10,907 --> 00:17:13,492
So Bill suggested we
go back to his house
509
00:17:13,493 --> 00:17:15,118
so we can enjoy it together.
510
00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:18,789
And to our surprise, we
had a magical day together.
511
00:17:18,790 --> 00:17:20,290
We both thought it
was a one-time thing,
512
00:17:20,291 --> 00:17:22,959
but, dammit, we could not
get enough of each other.
513
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,252
It just felt too good.
514
00:17:24,253 --> 00:17:25,712
So good.
515
00:17:25,713 --> 00:17:27,714
After a while, we'd
watch any random sport
516
00:17:27,715 --> 00:17:29,674
as an excuse to spend
time together...
517
00:17:29,675 --> 00:17:32,886
Handball, badminton, water polo.
518
00:17:32,887 --> 00:17:35,472
We even watched Olympic
women's Ping-Pong.
519
00:17:35,473 --> 00:17:37,140
It was like a drug.
520
00:17:37,141 --> 00:17:39,768
We started to build up
our own private jokes,
521
00:17:39,769 --> 00:17:41,645
traditions, and superstitions...
522
00:17:41,646 --> 00:17:43,105
So that's what we just saw?
523
00:17:43,106 --> 00:17:46,108
I know we're caught,
but I'd do it all again
524
00:17:46,109 --> 00:17:47,776
a million times over.
525
00:17:47,777 --> 00:17:48,777
Me too.
526
00:17:48,778 --> 00:17:49,903
Why'd you hide it?
527
00:17:49,904 --> 00:17:51,947
Truthfully, we knew
it wouldn't last.
528
00:17:51,948 --> 00:17:53,615
I mean, we have
nothing in common.
529
00:17:53,616 --> 00:17:54,950
No.
530
00:17:54,951 --> 00:17:57,661
Maybe you have more in
common than you think.
531
00:17:57,662 --> 00:17:59,162
You're both missing
someone in your lives
532
00:17:59,163 --> 00:18:01,206
you used to share sports with.
533
00:18:01,207 --> 00:18:03,333
Dad. Mur-man.
534
00:18:03,334 --> 00:18:06,628
And in some twisted way, this
is how you're dealing with it.
535
00:18:06,629 --> 00:18:08,713
Dad and I used to share
the lows and extra lows
536
00:18:08,714 --> 00:18:10,590
of Philadelphia sports together.
537
00:18:10,591 --> 00:18:12,759
Mur and I could
sit together for hours
538
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:13,969
and not say a thing,
539
00:18:13,970 --> 00:18:16,304
unless my Cowboys were
playing his Eagles.
540
00:18:16,305 --> 00:18:20,392
Then he would insult my family,
my honor, my body shape.
541
00:18:20,393 --> 00:18:21,601
I loved it so much.
542
00:18:21,602 --> 00:18:23,186
I guess it's over now.
543
00:18:23,187 --> 00:18:24,563
Don't be stupid.
544
00:18:24,564 --> 00:18:25,605
You can still hang out.
545
00:18:25,606 --> 00:18:27,065
Boys are so dumb.
546
00:18:27,066 --> 00:18:28,441
You mean...?
547
00:18:28,442 --> 00:18:30,861
Gentlemen sports-time
is back on!
548
00:18:30,862 --> 00:18:32,947
And no longer in the shadows!
549
00:18:35,408 --> 00:18:36,575
Oh.
550
00:18:36,576 --> 00:18:37,659
Ca-caw! Ca-caw!
551
00:18:38,744 --> 00:18:41,371
Maybe a little
shadow wouldn't hurt.
552
00:18:41,372 --> 00:18:44,207
Speaking of, you thought
I was cheating with Barry?
553
00:18:44,208 --> 00:18:45,542
I know it's ridiculous,
554
00:18:45,543 --> 00:18:47,794
but I feel like our lives
are so different now...
555
00:18:47,795 --> 00:18:49,880
Maybe you wouldn't tell me.
556
00:18:49,881 --> 00:18:51,715
Are you kidding? I
would tell you anything.
557
00:18:51,716 --> 00:18:54,676
You're my best friend.
558
00:18:56,929 --> 00:18:59,389
While Barry and Bill took
their weird man crush
559
00:18:59,390 --> 00:19:00,891
out of the shadows,
560
00:19:00,892 --> 00:19:04,060
my future with Carmen
was nothing but darkness.
561
00:19:04,061 --> 00:19:06,313
Hey, Schmoo, I've got
some Rice Krispie Treats
562
00:19:06,314 --> 00:19:07,772
if you're interested.
563
00:19:07,773 --> 00:19:10,442
Thanks, but I'm not really in
the mood for snackies right now.
564
00:19:10,443 --> 00:19:13,028
I know this didn't go the way
you wanted it to, sweetie,
565
00:19:13,029 --> 00:19:14,529
but it's always more mature
566
00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:17,032
to just show people
who you really are.
567
00:19:17,033 --> 00:19:20,911
Well, the real me is
gonna be sad for a while.
568
00:19:20,912 --> 00:19:22,954
I know you don't
care what I think,
569
00:19:22,955 --> 00:19:24,582
but I love the real you.
570
00:19:28,502 --> 00:19:30,837
♪ The wheels
on the bus go round and round ♪
571
00:19:30,838 --> 00:19:33,256
What's that? ♪ Round and
round, round and round ♪
572
00:19:33,257 --> 00:19:35,217
♪ The wheels on the bus
go round and round... ♪
573
00:19:35,218 --> 00:19:36,052
Carmen?
574
00:19:36,053 --> 00:19:37,552
Hey.
575
00:19:37,553 --> 00:19:39,346
I was just in the neighborhood,
576
00:19:39,347 --> 00:19:42,265
decided to swing
by, all casual-like.
577
00:19:42,266 --> 00:19:43,559
I'll come down.
578
00:19:48,189 --> 00:19:50,982
You know, I have never had
a guy show up to my window
579
00:19:50,983 --> 00:19:53,276
with a step stool and
a boombox like that.
580
00:19:53,277 --> 00:19:55,362
Really? You should
have a million guys
581
00:19:55,363 --> 00:19:56,363
outside your window.
582
00:19:57,281 --> 00:19:58,698
Not a million.
583
00:19:58,699 --> 00:20:00,408
The appropriate amount.
584
00:20:00,409 --> 00:20:02,202
Why don't you talk now?
585
00:20:02,203 --> 00:20:03,870
And the reason I wanted
to draw the line at casual
586
00:20:03,871 --> 00:20:05,956
is 'cause I just got
out of a relationship,
587
00:20:05,957 --> 00:20:09,084
and I'm
not ready to be hurt again.
588
00:20:09,085 --> 00:20:10,460
I get it.
589
00:20:10,461 --> 00:20:12,379
The thing is...
590
00:20:12,380 --> 00:20:15,507
I know you are not the kind
of guy who's going to hurt me.
591
00:20:15,508 --> 00:20:17,968
So...
592
00:20:17,969 --> 00:20:20,303
we can be exclusive
and see where it goes.
593
00:20:20,304 --> 00:20:22,180
I think I can make that work.
594
00:20:23,933 --> 00:20:25,725
You think
you could still show me
595
00:20:25,726 --> 00:20:27,435
what an Adam Goldberg
grand gesture is like?
596
00:20:27,436 --> 00:20:29,187
I would love to.
597
00:20:31,190 --> 00:20:33,400
Relationships
can be complicated.
598
00:20:33,401 --> 00:20:35,485
Just when you think you're
getting close to someone,
599
00:20:35,486 --> 00:20:36,736
they can pull away.
600
00:20:36,737 --> 00:20:38,738
♪ Lights that flash
in the evening ♪
601
00:20:38,739 --> 00:20:41,741
But as long as you show
people who you really are,
602
00:20:41,742 --> 00:20:44,244
you'll find even
casual acquaintances
603
00:20:44,245 --> 00:20:45,870
can become like family.
604
00:20:45,871 --> 00:20:46,871
Whoo! Touchdown!
605
00:20:46,872 --> 00:20:49,250
♪ I can't hardly wait ♪
606
00:20:52,461 --> 00:20:54,671
So, your incredibly
specific tale
607
00:20:54,672 --> 00:20:56,172
of infidelity got me thinking.
608
00:20:56,173 --> 00:20:58,008
You're not the only one who
can spin a convincing yarn
609
00:20:58,009 --> 00:20:59,384
about a torrid dalliance.
610
00:20:59,385 --> 00:21:01,594
Alright. Get whatever this
is out of your system.
611
00:21:01,595 --> 00:21:04,597
I'm just saying, I, too,
know an out-of-the-way motel
612
00:21:04,598 --> 00:21:06,766
where the touching of
non-wives may occur.
613
00:21:06,767 --> 00:21:08,768
Oh, no. I feel
super threatened.
614
00:21:08,769 --> 00:21:10,270
That's right. I would
do some touching.
615
00:21:10,271 --> 00:21:11,980
Could you possibly
be more specific?
616
00:21:11,981 --> 00:21:13,273
Happily.
617
00:21:13,274 --> 00:21:15,859
Know that said touching
would be the touching
618
00:21:15,860 --> 00:21:17,235
of an unfamiliar
female person...
619
00:21:17,236 --> 00:21:18,486
Uh-huh.
620
00:21:18,487 --> 00:21:21,031
And perhaps, if her
hands are clean,
621
00:21:21,032 --> 00:21:23,325
underneath this rugby shirt.
622
00:21:23,326 --> 00:21:24,743
You're incredibly bad at this.
623
00:21:24,744 --> 00:21:26,037
Please never leave me.
624
00:21:46,474 --> 00:21:48,683
So, your incredibly
specific tale
625
00:21:48,684 --> 00:21:50,185
of infidelity got me thinking.
626
00:21:50,186 --> 00:21:52,020
You're not the only one who
can spin a convincing yarn
627
00:21:52,021 --> 00:21:53,480
about a torrid dalliance.
628
00:21:53,481 --> 00:21:55,607
Alright. Get whatever this
is out of your system.
629
00:21:55,608 --> 00:21:58,610
I'm just saying, I, too,
know an out-of-the-way motel
630
00:21:58,611 --> 00:22:00,779
where the touching of
non-wives may occur.
631
00:22:00,780 --> 00:22:02,864
Oh, no. I feel
super threatened.
632
00:22:02,865 --> 00:22:04,366
That's right. I would
do some touching.
633
00:22:04,367 --> 00:22:06,076
Could you possibly
be more specific?
634
00:22:06,077 --> 00:22:07,369
Happily.
635
00:22:07,370 --> 00:22:09,704
Know that said touching
would be the touching
636
00:22:09,705 --> 00:22:11,331
of an unfamiliar
female person...
637
00:22:11,332 --> 00:22:12,582
Uh-huh.
638
00:22:12,583 --> 00:22:15,085
And perhaps, if her
hands are clean,
639
00:22:15,086 --> 00:22:17,379
underneath this rugby shirt.
640
00:22:17,380 --> 00:22:18,797
You're incredibly bad at this.
641
00:22:18,798 --> 00:22:20,091
Please never leave me.47355
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