Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:20,440
DOWNLOADED FROM WWW.AWAFIM.TV
2
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:25,440
For latest movies and series with subtitles
Visit WWW.AWAFIM.TV Today
3
00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:27,608
Where's my suitcase?
4
00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:31,779
Who stole the hair dryer?
5
00:01:31,946 --> 00:01:33,405
Miss. Young lady!
6
00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:35,491
Excuse me. Girls!
7
00:01:36,159 --> 00:01:38,494
Hey, little fella. Hey!
8
00:01:38,703 --> 00:01:41,038
Excuse me, girls. Girls!
9
00:01:41,873 --> 00:01:42,873
Hey, big fella!
10
00:01:43,041 --> 00:01:45,250
Help me make the beds
in the living room.
11
00:01:45,460 --> 00:01:46,627
Come on down here!
12
00:01:46,878 --> 00:01:48,796
Hey, son!
13
00:01:49,714 --> 00:01:53,050
Big fella.
Hey, little guy! Little guy!
14
00:01:54,469 --> 00:01:57,221
Pete's brother
and his family are here.
15
00:01:57,430 --> 00:01:58,972
Trish is going to Montreal.
16
00:01:59,182 --> 00:02:01,725
Montreal? Oh, her family's there.
17
00:02:01,976 --> 00:02:03,393
- Then we're off.
- When?
18
00:02:03,603 --> 00:02:05,896
- Tomorrow.
- You're not ready, are you?
19
00:02:06,523 --> 00:02:09,024
Uncle Frank won't let me
watch the movie...
20
00:02:09,234 --> 00:02:10,567
...but the big kids can.
21
00:02:10,819 --> 00:02:12,069
Why can't I?
22
00:02:12,278 --> 00:02:13,445
I'm on the phone.
23
00:02:14,405 --> 00:02:16,532
When do you come back?
Not till then?
24
00:02:16,741 --> 00:02:19,576
It's not even rated R.
He's just being a jerk.
25
00:02:20,703 --> 00:02:23,288
Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no...
26
00:02:23,498 --> 00:02:25,123
...then it must be really bad.
27
00:02:25,416 --> 00:02:28,502
No, we put the dog in the kennel--
Hey, get off!
28
00:02:28,711 --> 00:02:29,920
Kevin, out of the room.
29
00:02:30,088 --> 00:02:32,422
Hang up the phone and make me,
why don't you?
30
00:02:32,590 --> 00:02:33,632
This kid.
31
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,343
Did you pick up
a voltage adapter thing?
32
00:02:36,553 --> 00:02:38,095
No, I didn't have time.
33
00:02:38,304 --> 00:02:41,056
- Then how do I shave in France?
- Grow a goatee.
34
00:02:41,266 --> 00:02:43,433
Dad, nobody'll let me do anything.
35
00:02:43,601 --> 00:02:47,938
I've got something, pick up those
Micro Machines that are all over.
36
00:02:48,106 --> 00:02:50,107
Aunt Leslie almost broke her neck.
37
00:02:50,316 --> 00:02:52,651
He was playing
with the glue gun again.
38
00:02:53,069 --> 00:02:54,152
We talked about that.
39
00:02:54,529 --> 00:02:57,447
Did I burn down the joint?
I don't think so.
40
00:02:57,615 --> 00:02:59,491
I made ornaments out of fish hooks.
41
00:03:00,368 --> 00:03:03,662
- My new fish hooks?
- I can't make them out of old ones...
42
00:03:03,955 --> 00:03:06,248
...with dry worm guts stuck on them.
43
00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:10,210
- Peter.
- Come on, Kevin. Out.
44
00:03:10,587 --> 00:03:12,671
Do you guys have a voltage adapter?
45
00:03:12,881 --> 00:03:14,339
Here's a voltage adapter!
46
00:03:14,549 --> 00:03:18,176
God, you're getting heavy!
Go pack your suitcase.
47
00:03:19,554 --> 00:03:22,472
Pack my suitcase?
48
00:03:22,974 --> 00:03:25,100
- Where's the shampoo?
- I don't live here.
49
00:03:25,310 --> 00:03:27,477
This many people here
and no shampoo.
50
00:03:27,645 --> 00:03:29,813
- Are your folks home?
- They don't live here.
51
00:03:29,981 --> 00:03:32,649
- Tracy, did you order the pizza?
- Buzz did.
52
00:03:32,859 --> 00:03:34,860
Excuse me. Are your parents here?
53
00:03:35,111 --> 00:03:36,570
My parents live in Paris.
54
00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:37,821
- Hi!
- Hi!
55
00:03:37,989 --> 00:03:39,364
- Are your parents home?
- Yeah.
56
00:03:39,532 --> 00:03:41,450
- Do they live here?
- No.
57
00:03:41,618 --> 00:03:45,329
No. Why should they?
All kids, no parents.
58
00:03:45,580 --> 00:03:46,914
Probably a fancy orphanage.
59
00:03:47,373 --> 00:03:51,084
I don't know how to pack a suitcase.
I've never done it once.
60
00:03:51,294 --> 00:03:53,420
- Tough.
- That's what Megan said.
61
00:03:53,630 --> 00:03:56,131
- What did I say?
- You told him, "Tough."
62
00:03:56,341 --> 00:03:59,676
The dope was whining about a suitcase.
What was I supposed to say?
63
00:03:59,844 --> 00:04:01,553
"Congratulations, you're an idiot"?
64
00:04:01,763 --> 00:04:03,305
- I'm not an idiot!
- Really?
65
00:04:03,514 --> 00:04:06,600
You're helpless! We have to do
everything for you.
66
00:04:06,809 --> 00:04:10,020
- She's right, Kev.
- Excuse me, puke-breath. I'm small.
67
00:04:10,229 --> 00:04:11,855
I don't know how to pack.
68
00:04:12,065 --> 00:04:15,400
- I hope you didn't just pack crap.
- Shut up, Linnie.
69
00:04:15,568 --> 00:04:18,570
- Do you know what I should pack?
- Buzz told you, cheek-face.
70
00:04:18,738 --> 00:04:20,530
Toilet paper and water.
71
00:04:21,908 --> 00:04:23,659
What are you so worried about?
72
00:04:23,868 --> 00:04:26,453
You know Mom's gonna
pack your stuff, anyway.
73
00:04:26,704 --> 00:04:29,790
You're what the French call
les incompetents.
74
00:04:30,041 --> 00:04:31,041
What?
75
00:04:32,293 --> 00:04:33,877
Bombs away!
76
00:04:38,132 --> 00:04:41,843
P.S. You have to sleep
on the hide-a-bed with Fuller.
77
00:04:42,053 --> 00:04:45,180
If he has something to drink,
he'll wet the bed.
78
00:04:45,974 --> 00:04:48,725
This house is so full of people
it makes me sick!
79
00:04:48,935 --> 00:04:51,687
When I grow up and get married,
I'm living alone!
80
00:04:51,896 --> 00:04:54,690
Did you hear me?
I'm living alone!
81
00:04:55,441 --> 00:04:57,567
I'm living alone!
82
00:05:00,321 --> 00:05:02,322
Who's gonna feed your spider?
83
00:05:03,074 --> 00:05:06,827
He just ate a load of mice guts.
He'll be good for a couple weeks.
84
00:05:08,579 --> 00:05:11,456
Is it true French babes
don't shave their pits?
85
00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:13,166
Some don't.
86
00:05:14,711 --> 00:05:16,211
But they got nude beaches.
87
00:05:16,421 --> 00:05:17,629
Not in the winter.
88
00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:25,512
Buzz?
89
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,806
Don't you know how to knock,
phlegm-wad?
90
00:05:28,224 --> 00:05:31,435
Can I sleep here?
I don't want to sleep with Fuller.
91
00:05:31,644 --> 00:05:33,478
If he drinks, he'll wet the bed.
92
00:05:34,105 --> 00:05:38,275
I wouldn't let you sleep in my room
if you were growing on my ass.
93
00:05:41,612 --> 00:05:43,697
Check it out. Old man Marley.
94
00:05:47,702 --> 00:05:48,744
Who's he?
95
00:05:49,537 --> 00:05:52,998
You ever heard of
the South Bend Shovel Slayer?
96
00:05:53,166 --> 00:05:55,042
- No.
- That's him.
97
00:05:55,251 --> 00:06:00,130
In '58 he murdered his whole family
and half the people on his block...
98
00:06:01,257 --> 00:06:03,258
...with a snow shovel.
99
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,762
Been hiding out
in this neighborhood ever since.
100
00:06:06,971 --> 00:06:10,515
If he's the shovel slayer,
how come the cops don't arrest him?
101
00:06:10,725 --> 00:06:12,476
Not enough evidence to convict.
102
00:06:13,186 --> 00:06:15,228
They never found the bodies.
103
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:17,522
Everyone around here knows he did it.
104
00:06:18,149 --> 00:06:19,983
It'll just be a matter of time...
105
00:06:20,193 --> 00:06:22,235
...before he does it again.
106
00:06:22,445 --> 00:06:24,112
What's he doing now?
107
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:27,240
He walks up and down
the streets every night...
108
00:06:27,450 --> 00:06:29,743
...salting the sidewalks.
109
00:06:29,952 --> 00:06:31,912
Maybe he's just trying to be nice.
110
00:06:33,664 --> 00:06:35,332
No way.
111
00:06:35,958 --> 00:06:38,418
See that garbage can full of salt?
112
00:06:39,170 --> 00:06:41,880
That's where he keeps his victims.
113
00:06:42,090 --> 00:06:44,883
The salt turns the bodies...
114
00:06:45,176 --> 00:06:46,927
...into mummies.
115
00:06:49,388 --> 00:06:50,931
Mummies!
116
00:06:55,478 --> 00:06:56,728
Look out!
117
00:07:29,595 --> 00:07:32,013
How you kids doing? Good?
118
00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:34,808
Lot of action around here today, huh?
119
00:07:35,017 --> 00:07:36,601
Going on vacation?
120
00:07:36,894 --> 00:07:38,353
Where you going?
121
00:07:38,563 --> 00:07:42,023
You hear me, or what?
Going on a trip?
122
00:07:42,525 --> 00:07:44,234
Where you going, kid?
123
00:07:53,578 --> 00:07:56,496
Okay, that's $122.50.
124
00:07:56,914 --> 00:07:58,999
Not from me, kid. I don't live here.
125
00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:01,251
You just around for the holidays?
126
00:08:01,419 --> 00:08:02,752
You could say that.
127
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:04,504
- Pizza's here!
- There you go.
128
00:08:04,755 --> 00:08:06,673
That's $122.50.
129
00:08:06,924 --> 00:08:08,925
It's my brother's house. He'll get it.
130
00:08:10,553 --> 00:08:12,262
Hey, listen....
131
00:08:12,972 --> 00:08:14,055
- Hi.
- Hi.
132
00:08:14,599 --> 00:08:16,474
- Are you Mr. McCallister?
- Yeah.
133
00:08:16,684 --> 00:08:18,518
The Mr. McCallister who lives here?
134
00:08:18,769 --> 00:08:21,188
Good, because somebody
owes me $122.50.
135
00:08:21,355 --> 00:08:24,941
- I'd like a word with you, sir.
- Am I under arrest or something?
136
00:08:25,109 --> 00:08:29,029
No, no, no. There's always
a lot of burglaries around the holidays.
137
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:33,325
We're checking the neighborhood to see
if the proper precautions are taken.
138
00:08:34,577 --> 00:08:37,579
We have automatic timers
for our lights, locks for our doors.
139
00:08:37,788 --> 00:08:39,789
That's about as well
as anybody can do.
140
00:08:39,999 --> 00:08:42,042
- Did you get some eggnog?
- Come on.
141
00:08:42,293 --> 00:08:43,668
- Let's eat.
- Come on.
142
00:08:43,836 --> 00:08:44,878
- Eggnog?
- Pizza!
143
00:08:45,087 --> 00:08:48,423
- Are you gonna be leaving--?
- Pizza!
144
00:08:49,467 --> 00:08:51,384
Grab a napkin
and pour your own drinks.
145
00:08:51,594 --> 00:08:56,306
- Does Santa go through customs?
- What time do we have to go to bed?
146
00:08:56,474 --> 00:08:59,351
Early. We're leaving at 8 a.m.
on the button.
147
00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:03,313
I hope you're all drinking milk.
I want to get rid of it.
148
00:09:03,522 --> 00:09:08,109
- Pizza boy needs $122.50, plus tip.
- For pizza?
149
00:09:08,319 --> 00:09:10,070
Ten pizzas times 12 bucks.
150
00:09:10,321 --> 00:09:12,697
- You've got money.
- Traveler's checks.
151
00:09:12,907 --> 00:09:14,991
Forget it, Frank. We have cash.
152
00:09:15,201 --> 00:09:18,370
You probably got the checks
that don't work in France.
153
00:09:18,829 --> 00:09:21,498
Did anyone order me a plain cheese?
154
00:09:21,832 --> 00:09:23,833
Yeah. But if you want any...
155
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:27,337
...somebody's gonna have to barf it up
because it's gone.
156
00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:31,424
Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi.
157
00:09:37,556 --> 00:09:40,225
Kev! Kev, get a plate.
158
00:09:50,695 --> 00:09:53,029
- Passports!
- Watch it!
159
00:09:56,409 --> 00:09:58,952
No, no. Get these passports
out of here.
160
00:10:03,416 --> 00:10:06,376
Are you okay, honey? Come here.
Are you all right?
161
00:10:07,211 --> 00:10:08,295
What is the matter?
162
00:10:08,629 --> 00:10:11,256
He started it!
He ate my pizza on purpose.
163
00:10:11,590 --> 00:10:13,508
He knows I hate sausage and olives--
164
00:10:13,718 --> 00:10:16,177
Look what you did, you little jerk!
165
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:31,109
Get upstairs now.
166
00:10:31,277 --> 00:10:32,319
Why?
167
00:10:32,528 --> 00:10:34,195
You're such a disease.
168
00:10:34,447 --> 00:10:36,781
- Shut up!
- Kevin, upstairs!
169
00:10:36,991 --> 00:10:39,159
- Say good night, Kevin.
- "Good night, Kevin."
170
00:10:42,121 --> 00:10:43,997
Why do I get treated like scum?
171
00:10:44,206 --> 00:10:46,791
I'm sorry. This house is just crazy.
172
00:10:47,043 --> 00:10:49,252
We've got all these extra kids
running around.
173
00:10:49,462 --> 00:10:52,505
My brother's in from Ohio.
It's nuts.
174
00:10:52,757 --> 00:10:55,258
How come you didn't bring
more cheese pizzas?
175
00:10:56,218 --> 00:10:58,511
- Nice tip. Thanks.
- Thanks.
176
00:10:58,679 --> 00:10:59,929
Having a reunion?
177
00:11:00,097 --> 00:11:04,434
My husband's brother transferred
to Paris. His kids are still here.
178
00:11:04,685 --> 00:11:07,312
He missed the family,
so he invited us to Paris...
179
00:11:07,521 --> 00:11:08,688
...so we'll be together.
180
00:11:08,939 --> 00:11:12,484
- You're taking a trip to Paris?
- Yes, we leave tomorrow morning.
181
00:11:13,527 --> 00:11:14,861
Excellent. Excellent.
182
00:11:15,071 --> 00:11:18,114
If you'll excuse me,
this one's a little out of sorts.
183
00:11:18,324 --> 00:11:21,034
Don't worry about me.
I spoke to your husband.
184
00:11:21,452 --> 00:11:26,081
And don't worry about your home.
It's in good hands.
185
00:11:29,168 --> 00:11:32,128
Fifteen people in this house,
and only you have to make trouble.
186
00:11:32,338 --> 00:11:33,713
I'm getting dumped on.
187
00:11:33,964 --> 00:11:36,716
You're the only one acting up.
Now get upstairs.
188
00:11:36,967 --> 00:11:39,260
I am upstairs, dummy!
189
00:11:39,970 --> 00:11:41,638
The third floor?
190
00:11:41,847 --> 00:11:44,015
- Go.
- It's scary up there.
191
00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:46,101
Fuller'll be up in a while.
192
00:11:46,310 --> 00:11:49,354
I don't want to sleep with Fuller.
He wets the bed.
193
00:11:49,563 --> 00:11:51,773
He'll pee all over me. I know it.
194
00:11:52,024 --> 00:11:53,775
We'll put him somewhere else.
195
00:11:55,069 --> 00:11:56,403
I'm sorry.
196
00:11:56,737 --> 00:11:59,030
It's too late. Get upstairs.
197
00:12:02,201 --> 00:12:04,119
Everyone in this family hates me!
198
00:12:04,328 --> 00:12:06,496
Then ask Santa for a new family.
199
00:12:06,705 --> 00:12:10,166
I don't want a new family.
I don't want any family. Families suck!
200
00:12:10,376 --> 00:12:13,503
Stay up there. I don't want
to see you again tonight.
201
00:12:13,712 --> 00:12:16,214
I don't want to see you
for the rest of my life.
202
00:12:16,424 --> 00:12:18,883
I don't want to see
anybody else either.
203
00:12:19,135 --> 00:12:21,094
I hope you don't mean that.
204
00:12:21,345 --> 00:12:25,181
You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up
and didn't have a family.
205
00:12:25,933 --> 00:12:27,392
No, I wouldn't.
206
00:12:27,601 --> 00:12:30,186
Then say it again. Maybe it'll happen.
207
00:12:30,396 --> 00:12:33,606
I hope I never see
any of you jerks again!
208
00:12:54,336 --> 00:12:57,464
I wish they would all just disappear.
209
00:13:54,355 --> 00:13:57,690
- Where are they?
- I don't know. She said 8 sharp.
210
00:14:06,158 --> 00:14:07,617
Peter!
211
00:14:09,703 --> 00:14:11,496
- We slept in!
- We slept in!
212
00:14:28,347 --> 00:14:31,224
Hi, I'm Mitch Murphy.
I live across the street.
213
00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:33,226
You guys going out of town?
214
00:14:33,477 --> 00:14:34,811
We're going to Florida.
215
00:14:35,020 --> 00:14:38,648
Well, first we're going to Missouri
to pick up my grandma.
216
00:14:38,857 --> 00:14:41,359
You know the McCallisters
are going to France?
217
00:14:41,569 --> 00:14:42,944
Do you know if it's cold?
218
00:14:43,153 --> 00:14:47,740
- Do these vans get good mileage?
- Kid, I don't know. Hit the road!
219
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:53,663
Do a head count.
Get everyone in the vans.
220
00:14:53,872 --> 00:14:55,081
Where are the passports?
221
00:14:55,332 --> 00:14:57,208
I put them in the microwave to dry.
222
00:14:57,459 --> 00:15:01,212
How fast does this go?
Does it have automatic transmission?
223
00:15:01,422 --> 00:15:03,214
Does it have 4-wheel drive?
224
00:15:03,424 --> 00:15:07,302
Look, I told you before, kid.
Don't bother me. Now, beat it!
225
00:15:18,814 --> 00:15:20,982
Line up in front of the van.
226
00:15:22,818 --> 00:15:24,902
Line up and shut up!
227
00:15:25,112 --> 00:15:27,822
Shut up! I gotta take a head count.
228
00:15:28,365 --> 00:15:29,407
One, two, three--
229
00:15:29,617 --> 00:15:31,993
Eleven, 92, 12....
230
00:15:32,703 --> 00:15:34,579
Buzz, don't be a moron.
231
00:15:34,830 --> 00:15:37,707
Six, seven, eight...
232
00:15:37,916 --> 00:15:40,501
...nine, 10, 11.
233
00:15:40,794 --> 00:15:44,547
Okay, half in this van,
half in this one. Let's go.
234
00:15:45,716 --> 00:15:48,509
Have a good trip.
Bring me back something French.
235
00:15:51,263 --> 00:15:55,058
There's no way we'll make this plane.
It leaves in 45 minutes.
236
00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:56,517
Think positive!
237
00:15:56,727 --> 00:15:58,645
You be positive. I'll be realistic.
238
00:15:58,812 --> 00:16:02,398
Ma'am. Ma'am.
Excuse me, your power is fixed...
239
00:16:02,608 --> 00:16:06,235
...but the phones are a mess.
It'll take a couple of days to fix.
240
00:16:06,403 --> 00:16:08,821
- Especially around the holidays.
- Thanks.
241
00:16:09,031 --> 00:16:10,365
Did you count heads?
242
00:16:11,158 --> 00:16:12,367
Eleven, including me.
243
00:16:12,576 --> 00:16:17,163
Five boys, six girls, four parents, two
drivers, and a partridge in a pear tree.
244
00:16:52,991 --> 00:16:54,325
Hold the plane!
245
00:16:54,785 --> 00:16:56,452
- Did we miss it?
- You just made it.
246
00:16:58,330 --> 00:17:01,332
Single seats only in coach.
Take whatever's free.
247
00:17:02,626 --> 00:17:04,293
I get a window seat!
248
00:17:07,297 --> 00:17:10,925
- Kids are in coach, we're first class.
- Seats Four A and B.
249
00:17:11,135 --> 00:17:13,594
Four A and B. I'll take your coats.
250
00:17:15,013 --> 00:17:17,223
- Fasten your seat belts.
- Champagne, please.
251
00:17:17,433 --> 00:17:19,559
- It's free, isn't it?
- Oh, yes.
252
00:17:20,477 --> 00:17:21,602
We made it.
253
00:17:21,812 --> 00:17:25,565
Do you believe it?
Hope we didn't forget anything.
254
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:47,563
Mom?
255
00:18:53,111 --> 00:18:54,904
Thank you.
256
00:18:55,113 --> 00:18:58,449
- That's real. That's real crystal.
- Yeah, so?
257
00:18:58,659 --> 00:19:01,577
- Put them in your purse.
- Frank, I can't do that.
258
00:19:01,787 --> 00:19:04,539
Just-- Put them in your purse!
259
00:19:04,915 --> 00:19:07,416
Yeah. Fill it up. Fill it up.
260
00:19:07,626 --> 00:19:08,960
Fill it up, please.
261
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:10,920
Thank you.
262
00:19:11,088 --> 00:19:14,674
Don't you feel like a heel,
flying first class with the kids in coach?
263
00:19:14,925 --> 00:19:16,259
No. The kids are fine.
264
00:19:16,468 --> 00:19:20,763
The only time I ever flew as a kid was
in the station wagon, not to France.
265
00:19:21,056 --> 00:19:23,933
We had to go to Aunt Laura
and Uncle Arthur's.
266
00:19:24,434 --> 00:19:27,311
Kids are okay. They're having
the time of their lives.
267
00:19:28,438 --> 00:19:30,022
Hello?
268
00:19:31,608 --> 00:19:32,942
Mom?
269
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:36,779
Dad?
270
00:19:40,492 --> 00:19:43,619
Mom? Dad?
271
00:19:45,497 --> 00:19:47,540
Where are you guys?
272
00:19:48,458 --> 00:19:49,834
Buzz?
273
00:19:51,461 --> 00:19:53,254
Buzz?
274
00:19:56,508 --> 00:19:58,634
Buzz?
275
00:20:03,015 --> 00:20:04,265
Megan?
276
00:20:04,766 --> 00:20:06,142
Hello?
277
00:20:06,977 --> 00:20:08,853
Hello?
278
00:20:09,021 --> 00:20:10,313
Rod?
279
00:20:10,522 --> 00:20:11,981
Uncle Frank?
280
00:20:12,149 --> 00:20:14,859
Uncle Frank, is this a joke?
281
00:20:16,361 --> 00:20:19,572
Megan? Linnie?
282
00:20:21,867 --> 00:20:23,910
Is this a joke?
283
00:20:47,559 --> 00:20:49,310
It's only my imagination.
284
00:20:49,519 --> 00:20:51,520
Only my imagination.
285
00:21:08,956 --> 00:21:12,083
The cars are still here.
They didn't go to the airport!
286
00:21:30,102 --> 00:21:33,604
I made my family disappear.
287
00:21:34,898 --> 00:21:36,816
You're completely helpless.
288
00:21:37,067 --> 00:21:41,862
You know, Kevin, you're what
the French call les incompetents.
289
00:21:42,114 --> 00:21:45,074
Kevin, I'm going to feed you
to my tarantula.
290
00:21:45,242 --> 00:21:48,077
Kevin, you are such a disease.
291
00:21:48,286 --> 00:21:53,249
There are 15 people, and you're
the only one who has to make trouble.
292
00:21:53,583 --> 00:21:57,086
Look what you did, you little jerk!
293
00:22:00,632 --> 00:22:04,218
I made my family disappear.
294
00:22:18,275 --> 00:22:20,109
I'm free!
295
00:22:40,213 --> 00:22:43,424
No clothes on anybody. Sickening!
296
00:22:44,468 --> 00:22:47,970
Cool! Firecrackers!
I'll save these for later.
297
00:22:48,430 --> 00:22:51,140
Buzz, I'm going through
all your private stuff.
298
00:22:51,391 --> 00:22:53,934
You better come out and pound me!
299
00:22:57,939 --> 00:23:00,983
Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof!
300
00:23:49,991 --> 00:23:51,367
Who is it?
301
00:23:55,038 --> 00:23:57,915
It's me, Snakes. I got the stuff.
302
00:23:58,208 --> 00:24:00,960
Leave it on the doorstep
and get the hell out.
303
00:24:01,211 --> 00:24:04,296
All right, Johnny,
but what about my money?
304
00:24:04,506 --> 00:24:05,548
What money?
305
00:24:05,757 --> 00:24:08,008
A.C. said you had some dough for me.
306
00:24:08,218 --> 00:24:11,137
Is that a fact?
How much do I owe you?
307
00:24:11,346 --> 00:24:13,264
A.C. said 10 percent.
308
00:24:14,432 --> 00:24:16,892
Too bad A.C. ain't in charge no more.
309
00:24:17,769 --> 00:24:20,062
Guys, I'm eating junk
and watching rubbish!
310
00:24:20,272 --> 00:24:22,815
You better come out and stop me!
311
00:24:23,024 --> 00:24:25,151
He'll call you when he gets out.
312
00:24:26,695 --> 00:24:28,070
Hey.
313
00:24:28,321 --> 00:24:30,322
I'll tell you what I'll give you.
314
00:24:31,950 --> 00:24:34,243
I'm gonna give you
to the count of 10...
315
00:24:34,953 --> 00:24:37,246
...to get your ugly, yellow...
316
00:24:37,455 --> 00:24:39,623
...no-good keister off my property...
317
00:24:39,833 --> 00:24:41,834
...before I pump your guts
full of lead.
318
00:24:42,043 --> 00:24:44,670
All right, I'm sorry. I'm going.
319
00:24:44,921 --> 00:24:47,131
One, two... 10.
320
00:25:02,564 --> 00:25:04,773
Keep the change, you filthy animal.
321
00:25:06,693 --> 00:25:08,027
Mom!
322
00:25:19,331 --> 00:25:20,664
What's the matter?
323
00:25:22,125 --> 00:25:23,292
Honey?
324
00:25:24,669 --> 00:25:28,088
- I have a terrible feeling.
- About what?
325
00:25:29,716 --> 00:25:31,300
That we didn't do something.
326
00:25:32,302 --> 00:25:34,803
You feel that way
because we left in a hurry.
327
00:25:34,971 --> 00:25:38,224
- We took care of everything.
- Did I turn off the coffee?
328
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:39,808
No.
329
00:25:39,976 --> 00:25:41,101
I did.
330
00:25:41,311 --> 00:25:42,728
Did you lock up?
331
00:25:44,105 --> 00:25:45,314
Yeah.
332
00:25:46,650 --> 00:25:48,025
Did you close the garage?
333
00:25:50,028 --> 00:25:51,111
That's it.
334
00:25:51,321 --> 00:25:53,739
I forgot to close the garage. That's it.
335
00:25:59,496 --> 00:26:01,372
No, that's not it.
336
00:26:03,416 --> 00:26:05,125
What else could we be forgetting?
337
00:26:09,047 --> 00:26:10,089
Kevin!
338
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,969
The captain's doing all he can.
Your phones are out of order.
339
00:26:57,178 --> 00:26:59,638
We'll call when we land.
I'm sure it's okay.
340
00:27:01,599 --> 00:27:03,600
Horrible. Horrible.
341
00:27:03,935 --> 00:27:05,227
Just horrible.
342
00:27:05,645 --> 00:27:08,188
How could we do this? We forgot him.
343
00:27:08,398 --> 00:27:10,691
We didn't forget him,
we just miscounted.
344
00:27:11,776 --> 00:27:14,236
What kind of mother am I?
345
00:27:14,446 --> 00:27:17,906
If it makes you feel any better,
I forgot my reading glasses.
346
00:27:22,620 --> 00:27:25,497
Five families gone
on one block alone.
347
00:27:25,707 --> 00:27:28,667
They all told me
from their own mouths.
348
00:27:28,918 --> 00:27:30,419
It's almost too easy.
349
00:27:30,962 --> 00:27:32,004
Check it out:
350
00:27:32,213 --> 00:27:34,256
All the houses with nobody home...
351
00:27:34,466 --> 00:27:37,301
...have automatic timers
on their lights.
352
00:27:37,677 --> 00:27:40,971
But I got it all figured out.
Watch this.
353
00:27:42,223 --> 00:27:47,144
Number 664 will be going on
right about...
354
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:49,730
...now.
355
00:27:50,732 --> 00:27:52,691
Wait, wait, wait.
356
00:27:53,777 --> 00:27:56,570
Number 672...
357
00:27:57,572 --> 00:28:00,115
...right now.
358
00:28:02,452 --> 00:28:03,535
Wait a minute.
359
00:28:03,828 --> 00:28:06,705
671...
360
00:28:06,873 --> 00:28:07,956
...now.
361
00:28:10,460 --> 00:28:13,962
And that's the one, Marvin.
That's the silver tuna.
362
00:28:14,464 --> 00:28:15,672
It's very G.
363
00:28:16,341 --> 00:28:18,759
Very G, huh? It's loaded.
364
00:28:18,968 --> 00:28:21,220
It's got lots of top-flight goods.
365
00:28:21,471 --> 00:28:24,765
- Stereos, VCRs--
- Toys?
366
00:28:24,974 --> 00:28:27,559
Probably looking at
some very fine jewelry.
367
00:28:27,977 --> 00:28:29,353
Possible cash horde.
368
00:28:30,105 --> 00:28:32,606
Odd marketable securities.
369
00:28:33,149 --> 00:28:35,567
Who knows? It's a gem.
370
00:28:36,361 --> 00:28:38,320
Grab your crowbar.
371
00:28:39,322 --> 00:28:40,989
Crowbars up.
372
00:29:40,175 --> 00:29:41,717
Which way?
373
00:29:41,885 --> 00:29:44,219
We'll go around back,
down the basement.
374
00:30:05,074 --> 00:30:07,868
- You said they were gone.
- They were gonna leave today.
375
00:30:08,077 --> 00:30:09,703
Let's get out of here.
376
00:30:46,157 --> 00:30:48,492
We have to use the phone, please.
377
00:30:49,327 --> 00:30:52,037
It's an emergency.
We really have to make a call.
378
00:30:52,247 --> 00:30:54,748
Please! Our brother's home alone.
379
00:30:55,458 --> 00:30:57,251
Give us the phone!
380
00:30:57,544 --> 00:30:58,752
I'm sorry. Thank you.
381
00:30:58,962 --> 00:31:01,672
I'm calling the police.
Book us a flight home.
382
00:31:01,881 --> 00:31:04,758
Get change out of here.
Call everybody you know.
383
00:31:04,968 --> 00:31:09,137
Here's my address book. You and Frank
call everyone on our street.
384
00:31:09,347 --> 00:31:11,139
Maybe somebody can help us.
385
00:31:11,349 --> 00:31:14,726
Hello? Hello?
Oh, she'll have to call you back.
386
00:31:21,150 --> 00:31:24,987
This is ridiculous. Only a wimp
would be hiding under a bed.
387
00:31:25,196 --> 00:31:29,199
And I can't be a wimp.
I'm the man of the house.
388
00:31:36,499 --> 00:31:39,835
Hey, I'm not afraid anymore!
389
00:31:40,878 --> 00:31:44,464
I said, I'm not afraid anymore!
390
00:31:45,008 --> 00:31:48,802
Do you hear me?
I'm not afraid anymore.
391
00:32:19,417 --> 00:32:20,709
Village police department.
392
00:32:20,877 --> 00:32:24,296
I'm calling from Paris.
I have a son who's home alone.
393
00:32:24,505 --> 00:32:29,593
I'd like somebody to go there. Tell him
that we're coming home to get him.
394
00:32:29,844 --> 00:32:31,887
Okay, let me connect you
with Family Crisis Intervention.
395
00:32:32,055 --> 00:32:33,388
No, it's not a family crisis.
396
00:32:33,556 --> 00:32:34,931
Hold on.
397
00:32:36,851 --> 00:32:40,228
Larry, can you pick up?
There's some hyper lady on hold.
398
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:42,814
- What line, Rose?
- Two.
399
00:32:43,483 --> 00:32:45,859
Family Crisis Intervention,
Sergeant Balzak.
400
00:32:46,110 --> 00:32:48,945
I'm calling from Paris.
I have a son who's home alone.
401
00:32:49,155 --> 00:32:53,825
Has the child been involved in
violence with a drunk family member?
402
00:32:54,035 --> 00:32:55,077
No!
403
00:32:55,370 --> 00:32:57,871
Has he been involved
in a household accident?
404
00:32:58,081 --> 00:33:00,248
I don't know. I hope not.
405
00:33:01,626 --> 00:33:05,629
Has the child ingested any poison
or is an object lodged in his throat?
406
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:09,341
No, he's home alone! I'd like
somebody to go over to the house...
407
00:33:09,550 --> 00:33:11,343
...and see if he's all right.
408
00:33:12,470 --> 00:33:16,056
You want us to go to your house,
just to check on him.
409
00:33:16,265 --> 00:33:17,349
Yes!
410
00:33:18,017 --> 00:33:19,601
Let me connect you to the police.
411
00:33:19,811 --> 00:33:21,269
They just transferred me.
412
00:33:21,437 --> 00:33:23,605
- Rose! Hyper on 2.
- Hang on.
413
00:33:23,815 --> 00:33:27,442
- Hold on, please.
- No, please don't hang up. Please!
414
00:33:28,277 --> 00:33:29,528
Any luck?
415
00:33:29,696 --> 00:33:31,113
No.
416
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,949
- I couldn't get anybody.
- Leslie?
417
00:33:34,158 --> 00:33:36,451
Nothing but a bunch
of answering machines.
418
00:33:38,621 --> 00:33:41,581
Somebody pick up. Pick up!
419
00:33:41,791 --> 00:33:43,792
Oh, hi, ma'am. It's you again.
420
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:47,921
I'm calling from Paris.
I have a son who's home alone, and I--
421
00:33:48,131 --> 00:33:51,925
We'll send a policeman over
to your house to check on your son.
422
00:34:22,206 --> 00:34:24,875
There's no one home.
The house looks secure.
423
00:34:25,084 --> 00:34:27,169
Tell them to count their kids again.
424
00:34:28,254 --> 00:34:30,672
You can't bump somebody or ask or--?
425
00:34:30,882 --> 00:34:32,716
There's no way I can do that.
426
00:34:32,925 --> 00:34:35,010
Isn't there a way
if you ask somebody?
427
00:34:35,219 --> 00:34:36,720
If you said it's an emergency--
428
00:34:36,929 --> 00:34:38,180
I cannot ask them.
429
00:34:38,473 --> 00:34:40,724
A policeman's going
over to the house.
430
00:34:40,933 --> 00:34:43,852
Well, that's a relief.
Everything here is booked.
431
00:34:44,020 --> 00:34:45,103
Nothing to Chicago?
432
00:34:45,354 --> 00:34:48,523
There's nothing to Chicago,
New York, Nashville.
433
00:34:49,901 --> 00:34:53,028
- What about a private plane?
- Sorry. We don't do that.
434
00:34:53,279 --> 00:34:56,156
The only thing is a booking
for us on Friday morning.
435
00:34:56,365 --> 00:34:58,867
Friday morn-- That's two days away.
436
00:34:59,076 --> 00:35:02,788
The kids are exhausted and so are you.
There's nothing we can do.
437
00:35:02,997 --> 00:35:08,001
I say we go over to Rob's, and
that way we can call the police again.
438
00:35:08,294 --> 00:35:11,505
I'm not leaving here
unless it's on an airplane.
439
00:35:11,714 --> 00:35:13,799
Madame, we are doing
everything we can.
440
00:35:14,050 --> 00:35:18,011
If you want to stay at the airport,
maybe we can get you on standby.
441
00:35:18,262 --> 00:35:21,139
It is a possibility
that a seat will open up.
442
00:35:21,891 --> 00:35:24,684
- Is that okay?
- Yes. I'll wait.
443
00:35:30,441 --> 00:35:32,651
- Bye. I'll miss you, honey.
- Bye.
444
00:35:36,656 --> 00:35:38,406
Don't you get lost.
445
00:35:39,992 --> 00:35:41,159
Goodbye.
446
00:35:56,926 --> 00:36:00,011
I took a shower, washing every
body part with actual soap.
447
00:36:00,304 --> 00:36:02,138
Including all my major crevices...
448
00:36:02,348 --> 00:36:04,766
...between my toes
and in my belly button...
449
00:36:05,017 --> 00:36:07,435
...which I never did before
but enjoyed.
450
00:36:07,937 --> 00:36:13,024
I washed my hair with adult formula
shampoo and used cream rinse.
451
00:36:14,026 --> 00:36:17,279
I can't find my toothbrush,
so I'll pick one up today.
452
00:36:17,530 --> 00:36:19,614
Other than that, I'm in good shape.
453
00:37:10,249 --> 00:37:13,501
All right! Buzz's life savings.
454
00:37:40,321 --> 00:37:42,948
I thought the Murphys went to Florida.
455
00:37:59,215 --> 00:38:02,258
You're one of the great
cat burglars of the world.
456
00:38:02,468 --> 00:38:05,136
You think you can keep it
down a little in there?
457
00:38:05,805 --> 00:38:09,557
You've reached the Murphys.
Please leave a message after the beep.
458
00:38:10,434 --> 00:38:14,312
This is Peter McCallister again.
We're in Paris at my brother's.
459
00:38:14,563 --> 00:38:17,983
Let me give you the number here.
The country code is 33.
460
00:38:18,192 --> 00:38:23,154
The area code is 14
and the number is 694-876--
461
00:38:23,572 --> 00:38:25,365
- Hey, Harry.
- Yeah?
462
00:38:25,616 --> 00:38:28,451
That house we ran last night,
was that the McCallister's?
463
00:38:28,619 --> 00:38:30,120
Yeah.
464
00:38:30,454 --> 00:38:33,790
- Call me in Paris.
- You're right. They're gone.
465
00:38:37,211 --> 00:38:40,755
- I knew they were.
- Silver tuna tonight.
466
00:38:49,890 --> 00:38:51,224
How may I help you?
467
00:38:51,892 --> 00:38:55,186
Is this toothbrush approved
by the American Dental Association?
468
00:38:55,980 --> 00:38:57,522
Well, I don't know.
469
00:38:58,607 --> 00:39:02,027
- It doesn't say, hon.
- Can you please find out?
470
00:39:05,197 --> 00:39:06,906
- Herb.
- Yeah?
471
00:39:07,116 --> 00:39:10,368
I got a question here
about a toothbrush.
472
00:39:16,959 --> 00:39:21,463
Do you know, is this brush approved
by the American Dental Association?
473
00:39:21,630 --> 00:39:22,797
I don't know.
474
00:39:45,279 --> 00:39:47,697
Oh, hon, you pay for that here.
475
00:39:49,784 --> 00:39:51,659
Wait, you have to pay for that.
476
00:39:52,411 --> 00:39:55,497
Son! Son! Hey!
477
00:39:55,956 --> 00:39:58,416
Jimmy, stop that boy!
478
00:40:02,838 --> 00:40:04,005
Hey!
479
00:40:04,215 --> 00:40:06,091
Hey!
480
00:40:08,344 --> 00:40:09,844
Shoplifter!
481
00:40:13,682 --> 00:40:14,891
Hey! Hey, kid!
482
00:40:21,899 --> 00:40:23,274
Come back here!
483
00:40:24,777 --> 00:40:26,444
Stop it, will you?
484
00:40:26,987 --> 00:40:28,113
Come here.
485
00:41:06,277 --> 00:41:08,153
I'm a criminal.
486
00:41:35,472 --> 00:41:37,182
What's so funny?
487
00:41:37,975 --> 00:41:39,267
What's so funny?
488
00:41:39,768 --> 00:41:40,894
Why are you laughing?
489
00:41:44,190 --> 00:41:45,398
You did it again.
490
00:41:46,817 --> 00:41:48,276
You left the water running.
491
00:41:49,195 --> 00:41:51,613
Why do you do that?
I told you not to do it.
492
00:41:51,822 --> 00:41:54,199
- It's our calling card.
- Calling card.
493
00:41:54,408 --> 00:41:56,534
All the great ones leave their mark.
494
00:41:56,785 --> 00:41:58,369
We're the Wet Bandits.
495
00:41:58,787 --> 00:42:01,331
You're sick, you know?
You're really sick.
496
00:42:02,208 --> 00:42:04,000
- I'm not sick.
- Yes, you are.
497
00:42:04,210 --> 00:42:05,418
It's a sick thing to do.
498
00:42:12,218 --> 00:42:14,052
- We don't need that.
- Don't tell me--
499
00:42:14,303 --> 00:42:16,137
I can do it if I want to.
500
00:42:18,307 --> 00:42:20,516
It's not sick. Hey, watch out!
501
00:42:28,817 --> 00:42:30,151
Hey! Hey!
502
00:42:30,361 --> 00:42:32,320
You gotta watch out for traffic.
503
00:42:32,696 --> 00:42:34,614
- Sorry.
- Damn.
504
00:42:34,823 --> 00:42:37,200
Santy don't visit
the funeral homes, buddy.
505
00:42:38,244 --> 00:42:39,452
Okay, okay.
506
00:42:40,329 --> 00:42:42,413
Merry Christmas.
507
00:42:52,591 --> 00:42:53,925
What's the matter?
508
00:42:54,343 --> 00:42:56,469
I don't like the way
that kid looked at me.
509
00:42:56,679 --> 00:43:00,265
- Ever seen him before?
- I saw a hundred kids this week.
510
00:43:01,350 --> 00:43:03,142
Let's see what house he goes into.
511
00:43:35,718 --> 00:43:37,051
Why's he going faster?
512
00:43:37,303 --> 00:43:39,387
I told you something's wrong.
513
00:43:39,596 --> 00:43:41,597
He looked at me weird.
Why would he run?
514
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:19,510
Maybe he went in the church.
515
00:44:19,803 --> 00:44:22,513
- I'm not going in there.
- Me neither.
516
00:44:22,806 --> 00:44:24,640
Let's get out of here.
517
00:44:42,534 --> 00:44:46,162
When those guys come back,
I'll be ready.
518
00:45:10,979 --> 00:45:12,230
Did they come back?
519
00:45:12,689 --> 00:45:14,524
From Paris?
520
00:45:50,144 --> 00:45:52,520
We'll come back tomorrow.
Maybe they'll be gone.
521
00:45:53,272 --> 00:45:56,023
We better go before
somebody sees us.
522
00:46:27,556 --> 00:46:29,390
Look what I found in the kitchen.
523
00:46:29,641 --> 00:46:31,767
Frank, those are for later.
524
00:46:36,565 --> 00:46:38,983
Do you want a little shrimp, huh?
525
00:46:40,110 --> 00:46:41,819
Do you speak English?
526
00:46:45,365 --> 00:46:46,699
Well, is there--?
527
00:46:52,498 --> 00:46:55,708
- Did you get anybody?
- I am looking for my son!
528
00:46:55,918 --> 00:46:57,627
No, I can't find anybody.
529
00:46:57,836 --> 00:47:00,922
They're all shopping.
Nobody's home for the holidays.
530
00:47:01,173 --> 00:47:02,840
Never mind, forget it.
531
00:47:03,717 --> 00:47:06,427
- This is so pointless.
- What?
532
00:47:06,803 --> 00:47:08,888
We're here rotting in this apartment.
533
00:47:09,097 --> 00:47:11,307
Kevin's at home.
Mom's at the airport.
534
00:47:11,683 --> 00:47:14,268
- So?
- You're not worried about Kevin?
535
00:47:14,478 --> 00:47:19,357
Why should I be? He acted like a jerk,
and now he caught it in the butt.
536
00:47:20,609 --> 00:47:23,986
He's so little and helpless.
Don't you think he's flipped out?
537
00:47:24,196 --> 00:47:27,281
The trout can use a couple of days
in the real world.
538
00:47:27,491 --> 00:47:29,700
You're not worried
something might happen?
539
00:47:30,619 --> 00:47:32,495
No. For three reasons:
540
00:47:32,704 --> 00:47:37,375
A, I'm not that lucky.
Two, we have smoke detectors...
541
00:47:37,626 --> 00:47:41,462
...and D, we live in the most boring
street in the United States...
542
00:47:41,672 --> 00:47:46,050
...where nothing even remotely
dangerous will ever happen. Period.
543
00:48:13,161 --> 00:48:14,203
Who is it?
544
00:48:14,371 --> 00:48:16,581
It's Little Nero's. I have your pizza.
545
00:48:17,207 --> 00:48:19,875
Leave it on the doorstep
and get the hell out.
546
00:48:20,836 --> 00:48:22,253
Okay.
547
00:48:23,672 --> 00:48:25,047
What about the money?
548
00:48:26,425 --> 00:48:27,925
What money?
549
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:31,387
Well, you have to pay
for your pizza, sir.
550
00:48:32,347 --> 00:48:35,725
Is that a fact?
How much do I owe you?
551
00:48:37,227 --> 00:48:39,061
That'll be $11.80, sir.
552
00:48:46,528 --> 00:48:49,113
Keep the change, you filthy animal.
553
00:48:51,033 --> 00:48:52,783
- Cheapskate.
- Hey.
554
00:48:52,993 --> 00:48:55,286
I'm gonna give you
to the count of 10...
555
00:48:55,495 --> 00:48:57,872
...to get your ugly, yellow...
556
00:48:58,123 --> 00:49:00,207
...no-good keister off my property...
557
00:49:00,417 --> 00:49:02,543
...before I pump your guts full of lead.
558
00:49:02,753 --> 00:49:05,504
One, two... 10.
559
00:49:33,492 --> 00:49:36,827
A lovely cheese pizza, just for me.
560
00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:41,624
--to Dallas/Fort Worth.
561
00:49:41,875 --> 00:49:43,668
American Airlines....
562
00:49:45,420 --> 00:49:47,963
So we have the $500,
the pocket translator...
563
00:49:48,173 --> 00:49:50,508
...the two first-class seats,
that's an upgrade--
564
00:49:50,759 --> 00:49:51,884
Is that a real Rolex?
565
00:49:53,637 --> 00:49:55,930
- Do you think it is?
- No.
566
00:49:56,139 --> 00:49:59,350
But who can tell? I also have a ring.
567
00:49:59,601 --> 00:50:01,435
That is beautiful!
568
00:50:01,645 --> 00:50:02,978
They're boarding.
569
00:50:03,605 --> 00:50:06,816
She's offered us two first-class
tickets if we go Friday.
570
00:50:07,025 --> 00:50:11,278
Plus a ring, a watch,
a pocket translator, $500 and--
571
00:50:11,488 --> 00:50:12,780
The earrings.
572
00:50:13,073 --> 00:50:16,826
She's got her own earrings.
A whole shoebox full of them.
573
00:50:17,035 --> 00:50:18,619
- Come on, come on.
- No, but--
574
00:50:20,038 --> 00:50:21,080
I'm desperate.
575
00:50:22,207 --> 00:50:25,960
I'm begging you.
From a mother to a mother. Please!
576
00:50:28,088 --> 00:50:30,798
- Oh, Ed.
- Please!
577
00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:33,467
Oh, all right.
578
00:50:39,224 --> 00:50:41,308
"Dear Santa, I got a sister last year.
579
00:50:41,476 --> 00:50:43,436
This year I'd rather have Clay-Doh."
580
00:50:58,410 --> 00:50:59,452
I didn't mean it.
581
00:50:59,661 --> 00:51:02,830
If you come back, I'll never
be a pain in the butt again.
582
00:51:03,165 --> 00:51:06,333
I promise. Good night.
583
00:52:47,519 --> 00:52:49,436
Are those microwave dinners good?
584
00:52:50,063 --> 00:52:52,815
- I don't know.
- I'll give them a whirl.
585
00:52:58,321 --> 00:52:59,864
For the kids.
586
00:53:02,242 --> 00:53:04,368
Hold on, I got a coupon for that.
587
00:53:05,704 --> 00:53:07,580
It was in the paper this morning.
588
00:53:11,209 --> 00:53:12,251
$19.83.
589
00:53:12,878 --> 00:53:14,128
Okay.
590
00:53:18,216 --> 00:53:19,633
Are you here by yourself?
591
00:53:21,052 --> 00:53:22,720
Ma'am, I'm 8 years old.
592
00:53:22,971 --> 00:53:27,182
You think I'd be here alone?
I don't think so.
593
00:53:27,893 --> 00:53:28,976
Where's your mom?
594
00:53:29,185 --> 00:53:30,769
- In the car.
- Where's your dad?
595
00:53:30,979 --> 00:53:33,898
- He's at work.
- What about brothers and sisters?
596
00:53:34,107 --> 00:53:35,482
I'm an only child.
597
00:53:35,984 --> 00:53:38,068
- Where do you live?
- I can't tell you.
598
00:53:38,278 --> 00:53:41,155
- Why not?
- Because you're a stranger.
599
00:54:19,694 --> 00:54:23,072
Hello, Kevin!
600
00:54:26,534 --> 00:54:27,785
Shut up!
601
00:54:41,341 --> 00:54:42,591
I don't get it.
602
00:54:43,218 --> 00:54:45,386
It looks like there's nobody's home.
603
00:54:46,388 --> 00:54:48,597
Last night the place is jumping.
604
00:54:49,224 --> 00:54:51,100
Something ain't right.
605
00:54:51,851 --> 00:54:52,893
Go check it out.
606
00:55:01,903 --> 00:55:03,070
Now?
607
00:55:03,488 --> 00:55:06,949
No, tomorrow, egghead!
Now! Go ahead.
608
00:55:09,285 --> 00:55:10,452
"Now?"
609
00:55:27,804 --> 00:55:28,929
Shit!
610
00:55:32,225 --> 00:55:33,809
Get the hell out of here.
611
00:55:34,019 --> 00:55:37,104
All right, Johnny.
But what about my money?
612
00:55:37,272 --> 00:55:38,397
What money?
613
00:55:38,606 --> 00:55:40,816
A.C. said you had
some dough for me.
614
00:55:41,026 --> 00:55:43,902
Is that a fact?
How much do I owe you?
615
00:55:44,112 --> 00:55:45,904
A.C. said 10 percent.
616
00:55:47,157 --> 00:55:49,658
Too bad A.C. ain't in charge no more.
617
00:55:49,868 --> 00:55:51,035
What do you mean?
618
00:55:51,244 --> 00:55:53,746
He's upstairs, taking a bath.
619
00:55:54,664 --> 00:55:56,832
He'll call you when he gets out.
620
00:55:58,293 --> 00:56:02,379
Hey, I tell you what
I'm gonna give you, Snakes.
621
00:56:03,214 --> 00:56:06,300
- Snakes?
- I'll give you to the count of 10...
622
00:56:06,509 --> 00:56:08,719
...to get your ugly,
yellow, no-good...
623
00:56:08,928 --> 00:56:10,888
...keister off my property...
624
00:56:11,139 --> 00:56:13,140
...before I pump your guts full of lead.
625
00:56:13,391 --> 00:56:16,018
All right, Johnny. I'm sorry. I'm going.
626
00:56:16,227 --> 00:56:19,146
One, two... 10.
627
00:56:38,374 --> 00:56:41,335
Keep the change, you filthy animal.
628
00:56:46,174 --> 00:56:47,216
What happened?
629
00:56:47,383 --> 00:56:49,927
I don't know who,
but somebody got blown away.
630
00:56:50,178 --> 00:56:52,429
Somebody beat us, they're in there.
631
00:56:52,680 --> 00:56:53,764
Two of them.
632
00:56:54,015 --> 00:56:56,600
There was arguing.
One blew the other one away.
633
00:56:56,810 --> 00:56:58,393
- Who?
- I don't know.
634
00:56:59,229 --> 00:57:04,316
I recognized one of their voices.
I heard that name "Snakes" before.
635
00:57:04,567 --> 00:57:08,237
Snakes? Snakes. Snakes.
I don't know no Snakes.
636
00:57:08,446 --> 00:57:11,698
Snakes. Let's get out of here.
637
00:57:14,077 --> 00:57:15,327
Hold it. Hold it.
638
00:57:15,537 --> 00:57:18,872
Let's wait and see who it is.
We work this neighborhood too.
639
00:57:19,791 --> 00:57:21,708
Suppose the cops finger us for a job...
640
00:57:21,918 --> 00:57:24,878
...and they ask us
about a murder in the area.
641
00:57:25,088 --> 00:57:28,048
Won't it be nice to have
a face to go with it?
642
00:57:30,760 --> 00:57:31,885
That's a good idea.
643
00:57:32,428 --> 00:57:35,472
Of course it's a good idea. Snakes?
644
00:57:35,723 --> 00:57:37,891
He sounded like a snake.
645
00:57:44,482 --> 00:57:45,649
Everything's full.
646
00:57:45,859 --> 00:57:47,359
Everything's full?
647
00:57:47,569 --> 00:57:50,404
I'm very sorry,
but it is Christmas Eve.
648
00:57:51,156 --> 00:57:52,948
What about another airline?
649
00:57:57,620 --> 00:58:00,414
Nothing available.
May I help you get a hotel room?
650
00:58:00,623 --> 00:58:04,168
- Tomorrow we can get you a flight.
- I can't wait that long.
651
00:58:04,794 --> 00:58:08,672
I'm sorry, ma'am, but we're doing
absolutely everything we can.
652
00:58:12,927 --> 00:58:15,888
I'm in your way. I'm sorry.
You've places to go.
653
00:58:16,097 --> 00:58:18,473
Got a ticket there, good. Excuse me.
654
00:58:18,766 --> 00:58:23,520
Look, I have been awake for almost
60 hours. I'm tired and I'm dirty.
655
00:58:24,022 --> 00:58:28,066
I have been from Chicago to Paris,
to Dallas to-- Where am I?
656
00:58:28,693 --> 00:58:30,110
Scranton.
657
00:58:30,403 --> 00:58:32,946
I'm trying to get home
to my 8-year-old son.
658
00:58:33,907 --> 00:58:36,283
Now you're telling me it's hopeless?
659
00:58:36,451 --> 00:58:38,952
- I'm sorry.
- No. No way.
660
00:58:39,204 --> 00:58:42,206
This is Christmas!
The season of perpetual hope.
661
00:58:43,291 --> 00:58:46,043
If I have to get on
your runway and hitchhike...
662
00:58:46,294 --> 00:58:48,295
...if it costs me everything I own...
663
00:58:48,504 --> 00:58:51,340
...if I have to sell my soul
to the devil himself...
664
00:58:51,549 --> 00:58:54,343
...I am going to get home to my son.
665
00:58:55,637 --> 00:58:57,679
Ma'am, if there was anything--
666
00:58:57,889 --> 00:58:59,473
Do it. Do anything.
667
00:58:59,682 --> 00:59:01,600
- I can get you a hotel room.
- What?
668
00:59:01,893 --> 00:59:05,896
Can you excuse us for a sec?
Can I see you for a second, please?
669
00:59:06,105 --> 00:59:07,981
Excuse us.
670
00:59:10,068 --> 00:59:12,486
You got a little bit of a dilemma.
671
00:59:12,695 --> 00:59:15,113
We got a crisis ourselves.
672
00:59:15,698 --> 00:59:17,950
Allow me to introduce myself.
Gus Polinski.
673
00:59:20,370 --> 00:59:22,579
Polka King of the Midwest?
674
00:59:25,833 --> 00:59:27,334
The Kenosha Kickers?
675
00:59:28,628 --> 00:59:29,962
- Hi there.
- Hi.
676
00:59:30,838 --> 00:59:34,216
That's okay. I thought
you might have recognized--
677
00:59:34,467 --> 00:59:37,928
I had a few hits a few years ago.
That's why I just--
678
00:59:38,096 --> 00:59:39,346
"Polka, Polka, Polka"?
679
00:59:41,891 --> 00:59:44,142
No? "Twin Lakes Polka"?
680
00:59:44,352 --> 00:59:49,189
"Yamahoozie Polka," a.k.a.
"Kiss Me Polka"? "Polka Twist"?
681
00:59:49,399 --> 00:59:50,857
These are songs?
682
00:59:51,067 --> 00:59:53,944
Yeah. Yeah, we--
Some fairly big hits for us.
683
00:59:54,195 --> 00:59:55,988
You know, in the early '70s.
684
00:59:56,197 --> 00:59:58,991
Yeah, we sold about
623 copies of that.
685
00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:00,784
- In Chicago?
- No, Sheboygan.
686
01:00:00,994 --> 01:00:02,661
Very big in Sheboygan.
687
01:00:02,870 --> 01:00:04,371
Did you say you could help?
688
01:00:04,539 --> 01:00:08,292
Anyway, I'm rambling on here.
Our flight was canceled...
689
01:00:08,501 --> 01:00:12,879
...so we gotta drive. See the guy
in the yellow jacket over there?
690
01:00:13,089 --> 01:00:16,508
He's gonna rent us a nice big van
to drive to Milwaukee.
691
01:00:16,718 --> 01:00:20,053
Now, I heard you had some problems
getting to Chicago?
692
01:00:20,430 --> 01:00:21,680
To see your kid?
693
01:00:21,931 --> 01:00:25,892
My son. He--
We left, and he's there.
694
01:00:26,060 --> 01:00:29,688
If you have to get to Chicago,
we'll gladly drive you.
695
01:00:29,897 --> 01:00:31,982
It's on the way to Milwaukee.
696
01:00:32,483 --> 01:00:34,901
- You'd give me a ride?
- Sure, why not?
697
01:00:35,111 --> 01:00:36,611
You gotta get home.
698
01:00:36,821 --> 01:00:39,823
- A ride to Chicago?
- Sure, it's Christmastime.
699
01:00:40,450 --> 01:00:42,034
Thank you. Oh, thank you.
700
01:00:42,285 --> 01:00:44,411
You don't mind
going with polka bums?
701
01:00:44,620 --> 01:00:46,413
No, I'd love to.
702
01:01:08,936 --> 01:01:11,438
Hey, Marv. Marv, Marv!
703
01:01:11,647 --> 01:01:13,482
Look at this.
704
01:01:19,447 --> 01:01:23,033
I think we're getting scammed
by a kindergartner.
705
01:01:53,398 --> 01:01:55,649
Dad, can you come here
and help me?
706
01:02:00,405 --> 01:02:02,781
Remember that kid
we saw the other day?
707
01:02:03,741 --> 01:02:05,242
He lives here.
708
01:02:05,576 --> 01:02:08,036
If the kid's here,
the parents got to be.
709
01:02:08,663 --> 01:02:10,038
He's home alone.
710
01:02:18,297 --> 01:02:20,424
What? You want to
come back tonight?
711
01:02:20,633 --> 01:02:22,008
Even with the kid here?
712
01:02:22,260 --> 01:02:24,386
I don't think that's a good idea.
713
01:02:24,595 --> 01:02:27,305
That house is the reason
we worked this block.
714
01:02:27,557 --> 01:02:29,808
Ever since I saw that house,
I wanted it.
715
01:02:30,226 --> 01:02:32,185
Let's take it one step at a time.
716
01:02:32,395 --> 01:02:36,940
We'll unload the van, get a bite
to eat, we'll come back about 9:00.
717
01:02:37,233 --> 01:02:38,442
Nine o'clock.
718
01:02:38,651 --> 01:02:39,943
This way it's dark.
719
01:02:40,528 --> 01:02:43,238
Yeah, kids are scared of the dark.
720
01:02:43,448 --> 01:02:46,116
You're afraid of the dark too.
You know you are.
721
01:02:47,618 --> 01:02:48,952
No, I'm not.
722
01:02:49,162 --> 01:02:51,037
- Yes, you are.
- Not, not, not.
723
01:02:51,247 --> 01:02:52,414
You are so.
724
01:02:52,623 --> 01:02:54,624
Mom, where are you?
725
01:03:09,348 --> 01:03:10,599
Do you play?
726
01:03:11,267 --> 01:03:14,603
Do you want to try?
Go ahead, try it. Try it!
727
01:03:42,340 --> 01:03:44,424
- Excuse me.
- Yeah?
728
01:03:46,093 --> 01:03:47,677
Hey, nice shoes.
729
01:03:48,137 --> 01:03:49,638
Oh, thanks.
730
01:03:49,847 --> 01:03:53,308
Is he still here?
It's really important that I see him.
731
01:03:54,101 --> 01:03:57,479
He's getting in his car.
If you hurry, you can catch him.
732
01:03:58,856 --> 01:04:03,193
How low! Giving Kriss Kringle
a parking ticket on Christmas Eve!
733
01:04:03,402 --> 01:04:05,987
What's next, rabies shots
for the Easter Bunny?
734
01:04:06,197 --> 01:04:07,697
Santa, hold on.
735
01:04:10,034 --> 01:04:13,828
- Can I talk to you?
- Make it quick. Santa's running late.
736
01:04:14,121 --> 01:04:16,456
I know you're not
the real Santa Claus.
737
01:04:16,958 --> 01:04:20,418
What makes you say that?
Just out of curiosity.
738
01:04:20,628 --> 01:04:24,130
- I'm old enough to know how it works.
- All right.
739
01:04:24,298 --> 01:04:26,341
But I also know you work for him.
740
01:04:26,676 --> 01:04:29,511
- I'd like you to give him a message.
- Shoot.
741
01:04:29,971 --> 01:04:34,724
Kevin McCallister, 671 Lincoln Blvd.
Do you need the phone number?
742
01:04:35,059 --> 01:04:36,309
No, that's all right.
743
01:04:36,686 --> 01:04:38,436
This is extremely important.
744
01:04:38,688 --> 01:04:43,692
Please tell him instead of presents,
I just want my family back.
745
01:04:44,235 --> 01:04:48,655
No toys. Nothing but Peter, Kate,
Buzz, Megan, Linnie and Jeff.
746
01:04:48,864 --> 01:04:50,907
And my aunt and my cousins.
747
01:04:51,158 --> 01:04:54,244
And if he has time,
my Uncle Frank. Okay?
748
01:04:55,955 --> 01:04:57,163
Okay.
749
01:04:58,040 --> 01:05:00,333
- I'll see what I can do.
- Thanks.
750
01:05:00,543 --> 01:05:05,088
Wait. My elf took the last of the
candy canes home to her boyfriend.
751
01:05:05,381 --> 01:05:07,173
- That's okay.
- No, don't be silly.
752
01:05:07,383 --> 01:05:10,260
Everybody who sees Santa
has gotta get something.
753
01:05:10,469 --> 01:05:14,598
Here, hold out your little paw there.
There you go.
754
01:05:15,099 --> 01:05:17,434
- Don't spoil your dinner.
- I won't.
755
01:05:17,852 --> 01:05:19,269
Thanks.
756
01:05:30,489 --> 01:05:32,073
Son of a--!
757
01:08:29,460 --> 01:08:30,794
Merry Christmas.
758
01:08:33,380 --> 01:08:34,589
May I sit down?
759
01:08:45,976 --> 01:08:47,310
That's my granddaughter.
760
01:08:47,978 --> 01:08:49,896
The little red-haired girl.
761
01:08:51,899 --> 01:08:54,651
She's about your age. You know her?
762
01:08:54,819 --> 01:08:55,944
No.
763
01:08:56,153 --> 01:08:59,197
- You live next to me, don't you?
- Yeah.
764
01:08:59,406 --> 01:09:02,951
You can say hello when you see me.
You don't have to be afraid.
765
01:09:03,953 --> 01:09:08,915
There's a lot of things going around
about me, but none of it's true. Okay?
766
01:09:09,750 --> 01:09:11,751
- You've been good this year?
- I think so.
767
01:09:12,419 --> 01:09:13,753
You swear to it?
768
01:09:14,129 --> 01:09:15,171
No.
769
01:09:15,422 --> 01:09:20,009
Yeah. Well, this is the place to be
if you're feeling bad about yourself.
770
01:09:20,427 --> 01:09:23,054
- It is?
- I think so.
771
01:09:23,264 --> 01:09:25,849
- Are you feeling bad about yourself?
- No.
772
01:09:30,312 --> 01:09:34,816
I've been kind of a pain lately.
I said some things I shouldn't have.
773
01:09:35,568 --> 01:09:38,236
I really haven't been
too good this year.
774
01:09:38,863 --> 01:09:39,904
Yeah.
775
01:09:40,072 --> 01:09:43,324
I'm kind of upset
because I really like my family.
776
01:09:43,534 --> 01:09:48,454
Even though sometimes I say I don't.
Sometimes I even think I don't.
777
01:09:48,747 --> 01:09:51,499
- Do you get that?
- I think so.
778
01:09:51,959 --> 01:09:54,794
How you feel about your family
is a complicated thing.
779
01:09:55,045 --> 01:09:57,463
Especially with an older brother.
780
01:09:58,215 --> 01:10:00,550
Deep down, you'll always love them.
781
01:10:00,759 --> 01:10:05,054
But you can forget that you love them.
You can hurt them, they can hurt you.
782
01:10:05,264 --> 01:10:07,682
And that's not just
because you're young.
783
01:10:09,393 --> 01:10:12,103
You want to know the real
reason why I'm here?
784
01:10:12,313 --> 01:10:13,563
Sure.
785
01:10:14,023 --> 01:10:17,817
I came to hear my granddaughter sing.
I can't come hear her tonight.
786
01:10:18,402 --> 01:10:19,485
You have plans?
787
01:10:19,904 --> 01:10:21,738
No.
788
01:10:21,906 --> 01:10:23,239
I'm not welcome.
789
01:10:24,033 --> 01:10:25,241
At church?
790
01:10:25,492 --> 01:10:27,577
You're always welcome at church.
791
01:10:27,786 --> 01:10:29,871
I'm not welcome with my son.
792
01:10:31,332 --> 01:10:35,084
Years back, before you and your family
moved on the block...
793
01:10:35,836 --> 01:10:37,503
...I had an argument with my son.
794
01:10:38,297 --> 01:10:39,339
How old is he?
795
01:10:39,673 --> 01:10:41,215
He's grown up.
796
01:10:42,593 --> 01:10:47,263
We lost our tempers, and I said
I didn't care to see him anymore.
797
01:10:47,765 --> 01:10:52,101
He said the same, and we haven't
spoken to each other since.
798
01:10:53,270 --> 01:10:55,521
If you miss him,
why don't you call him?
799
01:10:56,148 --> 01:10:58,274
I'm afraid if I call,
he won't talk to me.
800
01:10:58,525 --> 01:11:00,026
How do you know?
801
01:11:01,028 --> 01:11:03,696
I don't know.
I'm just afraid he won't.
802
01:11:04,531 --> 01:11:07,533
No offense, but aren't you
a little old to be afraid?
803
01:11:08,911 --> 01:11:11,079
You can be old for a lot of things.
804
01:11:11,288 --> 01:11:14,082
- You're never too old to be afraid.
- That's true.
805
01:11:14,291 --> 01:11:16,209
I was afraid of our basement.
806
01:11:16,418 --> 01:11:19,712
It's dark. There's weird stuff
down there, and it smells funny.
807
01:11:19,922 --> 01:11:23,383
That sort of thing.
It's bothered me for years.
808
01:11:23,759 --> 01:11:24,926
Basements are like that.
809
01:11:26,261 --> 01:11:28,638
I made myself go down
to do some laundry...
810
01:11:28,847 --> 01:11:30,974
...and I found out it's not so bad.
811
01:11:31,225 --> 01:11:35,812
I worried about it, but if you
turn on the lights, it's no big deal.
812
01:11:36,105 --> 01:11:37,146
What's your point?
813
01:11:37,606 --> 01:11:40,358
My point is,
you should call your son.
814
01:11:41,318 --> 01:11:44,070
- What if he won't talk to me?
- At least you'll know.
815
01:11:44,279 --> 01:11:48,658
Then you could stop worrying about it.
You won't have to be afraid anymore.
816
01:11:49,326 --> 01:11:54,372
No matter how mad I was, I'd talk to
my dad. Especially around the holidays.
817
01:11:56,125 --> 01:11:57,709
I don't know.
818
01:11:57,918 --> 01:12:00,837
Just give it a shot.
For your granddaughter anyway.
819
01:12:01,088 --> 01:12:04,257
I'm sure she misses you.
And the presents.
820
01:12:04,967 --> 01:12:06,300
I send her a check.
821
01:12:07,011 --> 01:12:10,596
I wish my grandparents did that.
They always send me clothes.
822
01:12:10,806 --> 01:12:13,641
Last year I got a sweater
with a bird knitted on it.
823
01:12:13,892 --> 01:12:14,934
Oh, that's nice.
824
01:12:15,144 --> 01:12:17,270
Not for a guy in the second grade.
825
01:12:17,479 --> 01:12:20,106
You can get beat up
for wearing something like that.
826
01:12:21,483 --> 01:12:23,526
I have a friend who got nailed...
827
01:12:23,736 --> 01:12:26,612
...because there was a rumor
he wore dinosaur pajamas.
828
01:12:27,740 --> 01:12:31,993
You better run home where you belong.
Think about what I said.
829
01:12:32,411 --> 01:12:33,786
- All right?
- Okay.
830
01:12:34,580 --> 01:12:35,747
It's nice talking to you.
831
01:12:36,915 --> 01:12:38,666
Nice talking to you.
832
01:12:44,923 --> 01:12:47,008
- What about you?
- Me?
833
01:12:47,676 --> 01:12:49,177
Yeah. You and your son.
834
01:12:51,138 --> 01:12:53,014
We'll see what happens.
835
01:12:54,308 --> 01:12:55,558
Merry Christmas.
836
01:12:56,769 --> 01:12:58,686
Merry Christmas.
837
01:13:50,572 --> 01:13:54,200
This is my house. I have to defend it.
838
01:15:22,039 --> 01:15:25,291
We'll check it out.
We can come back for the truck.
839
01:15:33,550 --> 01:15:34,675
How do we go in?
840
01:15:35,302 --> 01:15:38,221
We'll go to the back door.
Maybe he'll let us in.
841
01:15:38,430 --> 01:15:41,807
Yeah, he's a kid. Kids are stupid.
842
01:15:43,852 --> 01:15:47,813
Bless this nutritious, microwaveable
macaroni and cheese dinner...
843
01:15:48,023 --> 01:15:50,816
...and the people
who sold it on sale. Amen.
844
01:16:15,884 --> 01:16:18,552
This is it. Don't get scared now.
845
01:16:31,775 --> 01:16:34,443
Merry Christmas, little fella.
846
01:16:35,362 --> 01:16:40,032
We know that you're in there
and that you're all alone.
847
01:16:40,575 --> 01:16:42,868
Yeah, come on, kid. Open up.
848
01:16:43,787 --> 01:16:46,414
It's Santy Claus and his elf.
849
01:16:48,875 --> 01:16:50,084
We won't hurt you.
850
01:16:50,752 --> 01:16:54,171
No, no. Got some nice
presents for you.
851
01:16:54,506 --> 01:16:58,175
Be a good little fella now
and open the door.
852
01:17:03,015 --> 01:17:04,140
What?
853
01:17:05,976 --> 01:17:07,977
What? What?
854
01:17:08,687 --> 01:17:09,729
What?
855
01:17:09,896 --> 01:17:12,398
- What happened?
- Get that little--
856
01:17:23,910 --> 01:17:25,328
Hello.
857
01:17:31,043 --> 01:17:33,419
Yes! Yes!
858
01:17:33,628 --> 01:17:35,129
The little jerk is armed!
859
01:17:35,339 --> 01:17:39,550
That's it! I'm going in the front.
You go down the basement!
860
01:18:41,905 --> 01:18:44,115
That smart aleck!
861
01:20:12,370 --> 01:20:16,916
Oh, boy. That's it, you little--
You little--
862
01:20:17,876 --> 01:20:20,085
No, not this time, you little brat.
863
01:20:23,423 --> 01:20:26,300
You little creep, where are you?
864
01:20:50,242 --> 01:20:51,659
Yes!
865
01:21:25,402 --> 01:21:27,194
--rip his head off--!
866
01:21:37,080 --> 01:21:38,497
You're dead, kid.
867
01:22:26,004 --> 01:22:28,714
Where are you, you little creep?
868
01:22:44,939 --> 01:22:47,650
Harry, I'm coming in!
869
01:22:52,322 --> 01:22:54,365
Oh, no! I'm really scared.
870
01:22:54,616 --> 01:22:58,410
It's too late for you, kid, we're
in the house. We're gonna get you.
871
01:22:58,662 --> 01:23:00,746
Okay, come and get me!
872
01:23:01,122 --> 01:23:02,247
Why, you--!
873
01:23:08,797 --> 01:23:10,047
Now you're dead!
874
01:23:35,824 --> 01:23:38,325
I'm gonna kill that kid!
875
01:23:53,341 --> 01:23:55,509
- Marv.
- Harry?
876
01:23:55,844 --> 01:23:57,594
Why'd you take your shoes off?
877
01:23:58,138 --> 01:23:59,847
Why are you dressed like a chicken?
878
01:24:01,850 --> 01:24:05,227
I'm up here, you morons.
Come and get me.
879
01:24:08,648 --> 01:24:11,900
You guys give up,
or are you thirsty for more?
880
01:24:21,745 --> 01:24:23,120
Heads up!
881
01:24:26,207 --> 01:24:28,667
Don't worry, Marv.
I'll get him for you.
882
01:24:32,839 --> 01:24:34,506
Yes!
883
01:24:39,053 --> 01:24:41,346
He's only a kid, Harry.
We can take him.
884
01:24:41,514 --> 01:24:44,600
Shut up, will you? What is it?
885
01:24:44,851 --> 01:24:46,977
You're missing some teeth.
886
01:24:47,187 --> 01:24:49,354
Where? It's my gold tooth.
887
01:24:49,564 --> 01:24:52,524
My gold tooth. I'll kill him. I'll kill him!
888
01:24:54,861 --> 01:24:57,070
You bomb me with
one more can, kid...
889
01:24:57,363 --> 01:25:01,533
...and I'll snap off your cojones
and boil them in motor oil!
890
01:25:04,954 --> 01:25:06,079
911 emergency.
891
01:25:06,289 --> 01:25:08,123
Hello, my house is being robbed.
892
01:25:08,374 --> 01:25:13,045
My address is 656 Lincoln Boulevard.
My name is Murphy.
893
01:25:16,549 --> 01:25:17,966
You never know what's there.
894
01:25:19,093 --> 01:25:20,719
There he is!
895
01:25:25,642 --> 01:25:27,309
I got you! I got him, Harry.
896
01:25:29,103 --> 01:25:30,395
I got him.
897
01:25:31,523 --> 01:25:32,815
Harry, give me a hand!
898
01:25:36,194 --> 01:25:38,111
I got him!
899
01:25:38,279 --> 01:25:39,613
Harry, help me. Get up!
900
01:25:41,241 --> 01:25:42,449
I got him.
901
01:26:22,156 --> 01:26:23,448
What are you doing?
902
01:26:24,284 --> 01:26:26,869
Harry, don't move.
903
01:26:27,120 --> 01:26:28,203
Marv?
904
01:26:28,454 --> 01:26:30,789
Don't move.
905
01:26:31,291 --> 01:26:32,833
What are you doing?
906
01:26:37,589 --> 01:26:39,256
Did I get him?
907
01:26:39,716 --> 01:26:41,091
Did I get him?
908
01:26:41,467 --> 01:26:43,552
Where is it? Where is it?
909
01:26:43,761 --> 01:26:47,389
Never mind that. Here!
How do you like it, huh? You jerk!
910
01:26:47,599 --> 01:26:50,475
Get that kid, before I--
Get that kid!
911
01:27:17,128 --> 01:27:18,420
Where'd he go?
912
01:27:19,088 --> 01:27:21,173
Maybe he committed suicide.
913
01:27:21,507 --> 01:27:26,303
Down here, you big horse's ass!
Come get me before I call the police.
914
01:27:26,512 --> 01:27:28,513
- Let's get him!
- Wait, wait.
915
01:27:28,723 --> 01:27:30,599
It's just what he wants us to do:
916
01:27:30,808 --> 01:27:33,894
Go back through his fun house
so we get all tore up.
917
01:27:34,103 --> 01:27:35,646
He's gonna call the cops!
918
01:27:35,855 --> 01:27:37,522
From a tree house?
919
01:27:37,774 --> 01:27:38,899
Come on.
920
01:27:40,151 --> 01:27:41,735
- Out the window?
- Yeah.
921
01:27:41,903 --> 01:27:43,320
I'm not going out the window.
922
01:27:43,529 --> 01:27:47,532
Why, you scared? Are you afraid?
Come on, get out here.
923
01:27:52,372 --> 01:27:53,705
Come on.
924
01:27:59,712 --> 01:28:01,213
Come on!
925
01:28:06,844 --> 01:28:10,097
- Come on. Keep going.
- Let's go back, Harry.
926
01:28:15,728 --> 01:28:16,812
Shut it, Marv.
927
01:28:20,274 --> 01:28:21,316
Hey, guys!
928
01:28:21,901 --> 01:28:23,193
Check this out.
929
01:28:24,278 --> 01:28:25,988
Go back. Go back.
930
01:29:14,495 --> 01:29:15,871
There he is!
931
01:29:16,039 --> 01:29:18,123
Hey, I'm calling the cops!
932
01:29:19,375 --> 01:29:21,877
Wait, wait!
He wants us to follow him.
933
01:29:22,128 --> 01:29:24,046
I got a better idea. Come on.
934
01:29:42,065 --> 01:29:43,273
Hi, pal.
935
01:29:43,691 --> 01:29:46,943
We outsmarted you this time.
Get over here!
936
01:29:53,159 --> 01:29:54,326
What are you gonna do?
937
01:29:54,744 --> 01:29:56,787
I'll do exactly what he did to us.
938
01:29:56,996 --> 01:29:58,830
Burn his head with a blowtorch.
939
01:29:59,040 --> 01:30:01,041
I'll smash his face with an iron.
940
01:30:01,250 --> 01:30:04,086
I'd like to slap him
in the face with a paint can!
941
01:30:04,295 --> 01:30:05,921
Shove a nail through his foot!
942
01:30:06,172 --> 01:30:11,051
I'm gonna bite off every one of
these little fingers, one at a time.
943
01:30:20,353 --> 01:30:22,729
Come on. Let's get you home.
944
01:30:45,711 --> 01:30:48,421
Wow, this is great.
945
01:30:51,759 --> 01:30:54,052
Nice move, leaving the water running.
946
01:30:54,262 --> 01:30:58,098
Now we know each and every house
that you've hit.
947
01:31:01,561 --> 01:31:04,229
We've been looking for you guys
for a long time.
948
01:31:04,480 --> 01:31:07,357
Yeah. Well, remember,
we're the Wet Bandits.
949
01:31:07,733 --> 01:31:11,736
- Wet Bandits, that's W-E-T--
- Shut up! Get in the car!
950
01:31:11,904 --> 01:31:13,530
Hey, come on. Come on.
951
01:31:14,323 --> 01:31:16,825
- Hands off the head, pal!
- Come on.
952
01:32:12,423 --> 01:32:14,341
I'm a bad parent. I'm a bad parent.
953
01:32:14,592 --> 01:32:15,800
No, you're not.
954
01:32:15,968 --> 01:32:18,470
You're beating yourself up there.
This happens.
955
01:32:18,679 --> 01:32:20,388
These things happen.
956
01:32:20,598 --> 01:32:24,476
You want to talk about bad parents?
Look at us.
957
01:32:24,685 --> 01:32:29,439
We're on the road 48, 49 weeks a year.
We hardly see our families.
958
01:32:30,149 --> 01:32:32,400
Joe, over there. Gosh, you know...
959
01:32:32,610 --> 01:32:35,445
...he forgets his kids' names
half the time.
960
01:32:35,655 --> 01:32:38,949
Ziggy over there,
he's never even met his kid.
961
01:32:39,200 --> 01:32:42,953
Eddy.... Let's just hope
none of them write a book about him.
962
01:32:44,080 --> 01:32:47,582
Tell me, have you gone on vacation
and left your child home?
963
01:32:51,003 --> 01:32:52,379
No.
964
01:32:53,172 --> 01:32:56,049
But I did leave one
at a funeral parlor once.
965
01:32:56,884 --> 01:33:00,136
Yeah, it was terrible too.
I was all distraught and everything.
966
01:33:00,346 --> 01:33:04,599
The wife and I, we left the little
tyke there in the funeral parlor.
967
01:33:04,850 --> 01:33:08,520
All day. You know, we went
back at night, when we...
968
01:33:08,729 --> 01:33:10,981
...came to our senses, there he was.
969
01:33:11,232 --> 01:33:14,359
Apparently, he was there
all day with a corpse.
970
01:33:15,403 --> 01:33:18,697
He was okay.
You know, after six, seven weeks.
971
01:33:18,906 --> 01:33:21,366
He came around
and started talking again.
972
01:33:22,743 --> 01:33:25,745
They get over it.
Kids are resilient like that.
973
01:33:25,955 --> 01:33:27,664
We shouldn't talk about this.
974
01:33:27,915 --> 01:33:32,043
- I was just trying to cheer you up.
- I'm sorry I did.
975
01:33:58,321 --> 01:33:59,446
Mom?
976
01:34:04,618 --> 01:34:05,910
Mom?
977
01:34:09,957 --> 01:34:12,000
Mom?
978
01:34:58,339 --> 01:34:59,672
Kevin!
979
01:35:01,217 --> 01:35:02,342
Kevin!
980
01:35:33,707 --> 01:35:35,583
Merry Christmas, sweetheart.
981
01:35:45,010 --> 01:35:47,512
Oh, Kevin, I'm so sorry.
982
01:36:07,450 --> 01:36:09,242
Where's everybody else?
983
01:36:09,952 --> 01:36:11,953
Oh, baby, they couldn't come.
984
01:36:12,163 --> 01:36:13,413
They wanted to so much--
985
01:36:13,622 --> 01:36:18,084
I didn't fall asleep in the back
and drool all over you, did I?
986
01:36:18,294 --> 01:36:20,628
- You do drool!
- Shut up!
987
01:36:23,466 --> 01:36:27,093
Kevin, my boy. How are you?
It's good to see you.
988
01:36:27,303 --> 01:36:29,053
You're all right.
989
01:36:29,555 --> 01:36:30,763
I love you. You okay?
990
01:36:32,433 --> 01:36:33,558
Hey, Kev.
991
01:36:35,895 --> 01:36:38,563
It's cool that you didn't
burn the place down.
992
01:36:40,900 --> 01:36:42,358
Thanks, Buzz.
993
01:36:44,069 --> 01:36:46,070
Wait a minute.
How'd you guys get home?
994
01:36:46,280 --> 01:36:48,781
On the morning flight
you didn't want to wait for.
995
01:36:48,991 --> 01:36:52,243
- Oh, no. Thank you.
- Merry Christmas.
996
01:36:52,453 --> 01:36:53,870
Merry Christmas.
997
01:36:54,497 --> 01:36:56,581
Someone has to find an open store.
998
01:36:56,790 --> 01:36:58,416
I went shopping yesterday.
999
01:37:01,086 --> 01:37:02,629
You, shopping?
1000
01:37:02,922 --> 01:37:05,632
I got some milk, eggs
and fabric softener.
1001
01:37:07,593 --> 01:37:09,469
- What?
- No kidding?
1002
01:37:09,678 --> 01:37:11,387
What a funny guy.
1003
01:37:11,597 --> 01:37:13,723
What else did you do
while we were away?
1004
01:37:14,892 --> 01:37:17,143
Just hung around.
1005
01:37:19,230 --> 01:37:20,688
Bring your stuff upstairs.
1006
01:37:20,898 --> 01:37:25,443
Shopping? He doesn't know how
to tie his shoe. He's going shopping?
1007
01:37:25,986 --> 01:37:28,655
This is not the Kevin I knew.
1008
01:37:52,263 --> 01:37:53,805
Honey, what's this?
1009
01:38:52,281 --> 01:38:55,700
Kevin! What did you do to my room?
1010
01:42:34,878 --> 01:42:36,879
[ENGLISH]
1011
01:42:36,879 --> 01:42:41,879
DOWNLOADED FROM WWW.AWAFIM.TV
1012
01:42:36,879 --> 01:42:46,879
For latest movies and series with subtitles
Visit WWW.AWAFIM.TV Today
70523
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof