Original subtitles

The Diamond is the ship, me boys

For the Davis Straits we're bound

And the quay it is all garnished

With bonnie lasses 'round

Cap'n Thompson gives the orders

To sail the ocean wide

And we're bound for the land where the sun don't set

Or darkness drear the sky

And it's cheer up, me lads

Let your hearts never fail

For the Bonnie Ship

The Diamond's gone fishing for the whale

Here's a health to the Resolution

Likewise, the Eliza Swan

Here's a health to the Battler of Montrose

And the Diamond, of our fame

We wears the trousers of the white

The jackets of the blue

When we get home to Peter head We'll have sweethearts anew

And it's cheer up, me lads

Let your hearts never fail

For the Bonnie Ship

The Diamond's gone fishing

For the whale

Hey!

Thank you, Grimsby!

Thank you. Thank you very much.

We are the Fisherman's Friends.

- Yes, you are! - Yes, we are.

You'll be relieved to know

that fame hasn't changed us.

No.

No, we're still very happy

to play for common people like you.

We're going to hand over now to Rowan here,

he's the housewife's favourite.

Apparently, he's got a girl in every port.

Yeah, yeah. Don't tell his wife that, mind.

Or the only tackle he'll have left is fishing tackle.

Oh, hello.

I told him that blondes would have more fun!

Down it! Down it! Down it! Down it!

Down it! Down it! Down it!

Aw!

Jim. Hi, um, Gareth Bright well.

Uh, A&R, Island Records.

Uh, we met at the Cambridge Folk Festival.

We did?

Yeah, um...

Uh, when Leadville's finished with his interview,

I was wondering if you could have a word?

She is a really influential music journalist.

I think I've done enough talking

for one night, don't you?

Yeah, well, while I've got you,

Leah Jordan was just wondering

if you'd had any luck finding a replacement singer.

Oh. Was she, now? Hmm?

No, no, it's just I, um, yeah... We...

Well, the "label",

um, did notice that, um,

the band could... could use an additional tenor.

What about...

I give you...

a tenner

to sod off and keep your thoughts to yourself, eh?

You dirty old man!

How dare you?

Oh, my God!

What...

- What just happened? - I don't know.

She was laughing at all my jokes.

I thought I was in there.

Leadville, she is literally paid to be nice to you.

What did you say?

All I said was,

does she like meat in her pasty?

For we sail

On the sloop John B

My grandpappy and me

Over the seven seas we did roam

-Drinking all night -Drinking all night

Got into a fight

-Well, I feel so broke up -Oh, yeah

I wanna go home

-So hoist up the John B's sail -Hoist up the John B's sail

-See how the mainsail sets -See how the mainsail sets

Call for the captain ashore Let me go home

I wanna go home

Let me go home

-And I wanna go home -Hoist up the John B's sails

-Well, I feel so broke up -Oh, yeah

I wanna go home

-I feel so broke up -Oh, yeah

I want to go home

Oh, dear God. Look at the sight of them.

I've seen dressed crabs look more lively.

Oh, at least they're all back safe, Mags.

Apart from my son.

Looks like he's been swapped for a stowaway.

Nice to see you too, Mother.

Oh, my darling.

- Oh, what? Aw! - Hello, Granfer.

Oh, love, I've missed you.

Oh! What's all this, then?

Well, I thought I'd try something different.

Hmm. As long as that's the only experimenting

you've been doing.

What goes on tour stays on tour, Sal.

No, don't listen to him.

No one's a patch on you, love.

Come on, let's get up the hill.

Oh, I swear you've grown over the last couple of weeks.

You carry on like this,

you're gonna be taller than your mother

by the time she gets back.

We finally sorted out the time zones last night.

- Oh. - We spoke to them.

But they're okay.

And they're out to the Outback at the end of the week.

Oh, well.

Mum said she's gonna take some photos

of koala bears and other endangered species.

Don't know why she had to go

halfway around the world to do that.

She could have just stayed here

and taken pictures of Leadville.

Business still on the up, Sal?

Oh, booming. Takings are up nearly 25%.

Danny must be pleased. Man's sitting on a golden egg!

Hmm. What do you think's paying for the honeymoon?

Who's that?

Oh, it's... Uh, it's just Jim.

Wants me to pick him up some fish bait.

No rest for the wicked.

Tamsyn seems in good spirits.

So would I be if I could still swing my hips like that.

The fan club's been inundated with people

wanting to be the new Fisherman's Friend.

No.

I don't need any more friends, Mother.

Well, that's as may be.

But nine's an uneven number.

Doesn't sound right, doesn't look right.

That's why your father wanted

to have ten in the band in the first place.

You know my feelings on the matter, Mother.

You're not the only one who's hurting, son.

Hi!

I was wondering if it might be possible

to change to a different room?

Well, I'm afraid you've...

you've got the best room in the house.

You know, superior double with a sea view, as requested.

Yes, but I didn't request the flock of seagulls

that keep waking me up at five o'clock in the morning.

General rule of thumb,

if you don't like seagulls, don't come to the seaside.

General rule of thumb,

if you don't like guests, don't run a B&B.

Oh, well, I do have a small room at the back,

but I'm afraid

it doesn't come with a Corby trouser press.

I think I can live with a few creases.

Oh. That's very big of you.

I'll move me things.

What are you on, lad?

- What? - She's a paying guest!

And a rude one. No good morning, no thank you.

Who the hell does she think she is?

- Miss Flynn! - Hmm.

She's viewing properties in the area, apparently.

Well, that's all we need, isn't it?

Yeah, another second homeowner.

If you're looking for someone to blame,

you look no further than yourself.

- Huh? - It's your songs

that have made them want a slice of our lives.

When I was just a little boy

Or so my mammy told me

Away, haul away We'll haul away, Joe

Oh, if I never kissed the girls

Me lips would grow a-mouldy

Away, haul away We'll haul away, Joe

Away!

Haul away We'll hope for better weather

Away, haul away We'll haul away, Joe

I picked him with a Yankee girl

Around the corner, sonny

Away, haul away We'll haul away, Joe

Oh, better I stayed than made the grade

With the girls from up our alley

Away, haul away We'll haul away, Joe

Away!

What'd you think?

They're just so end of the pier.

Are you really telling me that Keane, Mumford & Sons,

and Florence and the Machine

aren't ready to deliver their new albums?

They're artists, Jez,

not Stock, Aitken and Waterman.

They can't just churn out hits.

Whereas, the Fisherman's Friends

have a new album just sitting there.

And ready to roll.

We can plug the hole in quarter four

and build on the momentum of their national tour.

As president of this label,

I have a duty of care to protect its reputation, and...

Moby Dick and the Whalers are definitely not on message.

Look, I know they're a bit rough around the edges,

but it's all part of their old-school charm.

Old-school?

They're prehistoric, Leah!

Nobody tries to shag the female journalist any more.

I get it.

They're struggling a bit

since Danny Anderson hung up his boots.

- I'll have a word. - That's not your job.

My team can handle it.

Fine.

Listen. I can just about tolerate them

singing songs from 1792

as long as they don't act

like they're from the same era.

I'll be sure we drag them into the 21st century.

Please record your name and press hash.

Leadville Trebilcock.

You will now be placed into the conference.

You are the first participant in the conference.

Come on, man. Think of the ocean.

Please record your name and press hash.

Oh. Jim!

You will now be placed into the conference.

You are the tenth participant in the conference.

Okay, is everyone on?

Yeah. We're, uh... We're still

waiting for Leadville, I think.

Can we just start without him?

Otherwise we'll be here forever.

Okay. This is Leah Jordan speaking.

Managing Director of Island Records.

- We met when you... - Ugh!

...gate-crashed my offices in London last year.

Yeah. Yeah, I remember.

I'll cut straight to the chase.

The music industry graveyard

is littered with one-hit wonders.

It's called the curse of the

second album, and it's real.

Talking of curses,

I am dealing with a poo-nami here.

What?

Um, what?

Ugh, I'm sorry, but Cameron's got the runny tummy again.

Um, you were saying?

- What the flip? - Uh...

We'd like to release your next album,

but we have concerns.

Oh, yeah? And what might those be, then?

You can't continue acting like social hand grenades.

Any negative publicity doesn't just reflect badly on you,

it reflects badly on the whole label.

With success comes responsibility.

Understood. We'll mind our P's and Q's.

Huh?

Mmm...

There she blows.

Oh, my God.

Hello.

Anyone there?

Yeah, we're all here, Leadville.

Just waiting for you to flush, mate.

Leadville Trebilcock...

...has left the conference.

I don't think

I'm bloody cut out for all of this.

Cut out for what?

All that being in the spotlight lark.

End of tour blues is all.

Oh, it's not just that.

I'm just not sure I wanna be singing any more.

I don't think life's got...

any easier with all this fuss.

No, it's just got more bloody complicated, innit?

Why don't you talk to the boys, huh?

I'm talking to you, aren't I?

Don't you go telling too many people.

They'll have you in a strait-jacket

- before you can say... - "Stargazy pie."

"Stargazy pie."

Oh, God.

Oh, I miss you, Father.

No more, I'm through

All my little life

I've been searching for the door

Trying to put my finger on it...

Um, you wanted to see me?

Relax. It's not your P45.

It's a return ticket on the Stella Express.

The, uh, Stella what?

The overnight train from Paddington to Penzance.

Cornwall?

Oh, mate, if it means spending any more time with those men,

I honestly think I prefer redundancy.

Gareth, you may not be able to grow a beard,

but if you're gonna make it in this industry,

you are gonna have to grow some balls.

Yes, of course. Uh, what is it?

Media training.

Okay. Well, um, thank you all

for being here. Um...

Let's start with a volunteer. Um...

This is a safe space, who would...

who would like to go first?

Maybe share any...

Anything.

Okay.

My name IS Leadville Trebilcock.

And I'm politically incorrect.

Right, welcome, Lead... Leadville.

Now, admitting you have a problem

is the first and most important step

in your journey of recovery.

Let's explore the incident

you had with a female journalist in Grimsby.

Well, to be perfectly honest, I'd had a few jars,

so I can't actually remember what happened, my darlin'.

Oh, can I just stop you there?

Uh, referring to me, or indeed, any woman

as "my darling" is inappropriate.

But it's just a term of affection, innit?

It's also a term that represents

centuries of male oppression.

How about "my fair maid'?

Why would you assume that

because I'm a woman I must be a domestic servant?

No, no, no, no.

He... He means "maid" as in "maiden". You know?

Well, that's even worse.

You don't know if I'm married

or if I've ever had sexual intercourse.

So, how should we address you?

Why don't you try using... using my name?

All right, Pet...

ra.

Can I... Should...

Should we... Should we get back to basics?

Yeah.

Yeah, okay. Um...

Let's try some neurolinguistic programming.

Update the way you speak and think.

Nope. Bugger this.

- Um... - Ooh, no.

- Jim, where are you going? - I have got pots

that need pulling.

And, no, that is not a euphemism.

Um, yeah. Jim, so... Sorry. Jim?

Just a quick word?

Um, everyone,

if we all just shut our eyes for a second

and just stroke the top of your forehead.

A little bit. Just take that tension out.

Everyone. Okay, brilliant.

Well, what did they expect, eh?

When they signed ten proud singing fishermen?

We speak this way 'cause we're Cornish.

Not 'cause we're part of some patriarchal conspiracy.

I'll get it!

Right, my love! Thank you.

And now they want to stop us

using local terms of endearment and all.

If I ever do that,

I may as well stop eating pasties,

drinking Tribute,

and waving the flag of St Piran.

Yeah, I know what you mean, son, but...

A little awareness of what other people

might find offensive is...

Well, it can't do no harm, can it?

Hmm, well...

What?

Well, I know that we all have our signature crimping style,

but...

it's a crime not to brush our pastry with egg wash.

That's 'cause I ain't finished yet, have 1?

There's a music journalist at the door.

Why can they not just respect my bloody privacy, eh?

He doesn't want to speak to you, Granfer.

He wants to speak to Aubrey Flynn.

Huh?

Thank you.

Is it only me that finds it ironic?

That I'm paying you for selling me out.

I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean.

If you wanted a celebrity endorsement,

you could've just asked me for a signed photograph,

and stuck that up on your wall.

Oh, I'm very sorry, miss.

We haven't got the faintest idea who you are.

She's an Irish singer.

She had a couple of hits in the late '90s.

- Oh, is that right, is it? - Yeah.

Yeah, Sal and I,

we danced to one of them at our wedding.

Oh, to be honest,

I don't remember much out of my best man's speech.

Yeah, probably for the best.

Cousin Pascoe's wife's brother-in-law's

auntie's daughter...

- What? Morwenna? - That's the one.

She says she's been asking about properties to rent.

Oh, yeah?

Probably to get away from prying eyes.

I did a bit of Go ogling.

She got a reputation as being a bit of a hell raiser.

Makes Stevie Nicks

- look like Shirley Temple. - Oh.

Huh.

She's not the only one.

Right. Tony. Come in here, my dear.

Just go in there, sit down anywhere you like.

Could put a glass eye to sleep, that one.

Granfer! Have you seen the queue?

White stockings

White stockings, she wore

We've got nearly a hundred hopefuls.

- Oh. - But don't worry, my son.

No one's gonna be stepping in anyone's shoes.

Good. 'Cause they're too big to fill.

- This just doesn't feel right. - Huh?

Why's there no women auditioning?

Leadville, I think the clue is in the name. "Fisherman"?

We don't wanna be accused of sexual discrimination.

Eh?

Ever since our media training,

he thinks he's become a feminist, see?

Word of advice, my darling.

You gotta be able to fill a bra

before you can burn one.

Come on. Let's get this over with.

Right! Let's be having you.

Hello. What are you going to sing for us today?

Sailing.

Rod the Mod's had a bit of a makeover.

I am sailing

I am sailing!

Ooh.

Home again!

Across the sea

I am sailing

Wailing, more like.

Crying cockles and mussels alive, alive, oh!

Alive, alive-o! Alive, alive-o!

Crying cockles and mussels, alive, alive-o!

In the Navy, come on Protect the Motherland

In the Navy, come on now Join your fellow man!

In the Navy

Come on, girls Give yourself a hand!

In the Navy

I said, they want you They want you

They want you as a new recruit

They want you! They want you!

They want you as a new recruit!

No, we bloody don't.

For...

I am a pirate king

Hurrah for the pirate king

And it is, it is a glorious thing

To be a pirate king

I am the pirate king!

And it is, it is

A glorious thing to be a pirate king

Hurrah for the pirate king!

Hurrah for the pirate

King!

I think he should abdicate.

All right, uh, my name is, uh, Morgan Jenkins.

Well, that's a lovely lilt you've got there, Morgan.

Where you come from?

West Wales, a small town called Llangrannog.

Try saying that when you're pissed.

Try saying it when you're sober.

What will you be singing for us today, Mr Jenkins?

Well, a song that I know you all know.

Uh, it's a favourite shanty of mine.

Santiana.

In your own time, me 'and some.

O! Santiana won the day

Heave away, Santiana

He won the day down in Monte Del Rey

All along the plains of Mexico

Heave her up and away we'll go

Heave away, Santiana

Heave her up and away we'll go

All along the plains of Mexico

Oh, Santiana fought for gold

Heave away, Santiana

What deeds he did have oft been told

All along the plains of Mexico

Heave her up and away we'll go

Heave away, Santiana

Heave her up and away we'll go

All along the plains of Mexico

Where's that golden button?

Buzzer.

Ah.

Golden buzzer, Mother.

You speak Cornish?

When I moved down, I thought I'd pick up a dictionary

and learn a word or two.

Well, it looks like you've done a lot more than that.

Well, to be fair,

Cornish is a close cousin to my mother tongue,

So, it's probably the reason why I feel so at home here.

Would you be able to take time off work

to fulfil touring, recording, and promotional activities?

You bet I would.

Absolutely, yeah! I'm my own boss.

Ooh!

Hi, Leah.

Gareth, where've you been?

Just doing some work.

Yeah. On the harbour wall getting some, um, service.

Uh, right. Look.

I've watched Morgan's audition.

He seems the perfect fit.

Great! Okay, great, yeah!

I'll let them know.

Oh, Christ.

What?

The tide.

Shit.

Well, one thing to sing for us all in a church.

You all right?

Quite another to sing

for a bunch of rowdy fans out on the Platt.

Didn't look like the sort who would get stage fright.

No. My feeling is that the man

is going to be out of his depth.

He's not the only one.

Eh?

Have a look at this.

What's up?

Oi! Gareth!

Huh? Ah.

Shark!

Good one!

Leah Jordan absolutely loved Morgan's audition clip.

She thinks he'll be a real asset to the band.

Oh, well, she does, does she?

She also said Kenny's Seafood have been in touch.

They were just wondering if you'd be interested in

being the face of their new fish product.

They Cornish fish, are they?

What? I didn't realise fish had nationalities.

Of course they do.

How can you tell?

They have Cornish accents, innum?

Oh, give him a chance, he's such fun!

Sorry.

Yeah, the label thought

it would be a good marketing opportunity

to sort of cross-publicise with the album launch.

Any money in it for us?

Yeah, a couple of thousand each.

What do we have to do for it?

Uh, Leah said something about dressing up as fishmongers.

Oh. No.

You will have a fishy

On a little dishy

You will have a fishy when the boat comes in

You will have a fishy on a little dishy

You will have a fishy when the boat comes in

Dance to your daddy Sing to your mommy

Dance to your daddy My bonnie lad

Dance to your daddy Sing to your mommy

Dance to your daddy My bonnie lad

You will have a fish You will have a fin

You will have a mackerel When the boat comes in

You will have a fish

You will have a fin

You will have a mackerel when the boat comes in

I'm losing it! I'm losing it! I'm losing it!

Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi!

Cut! Cut!

Come on, what's going on?

It's all right. I've got it.

Horsey, whoa!

This is bloody ridiculous!

How you supposed to serve fish dressed like this?

Yeah, sorry, lads,

I must have misheard the creative brief.

Well, there is a world of difference, isn't there,

between a fishmonger and a fish finger?

What the bloody hell are you doing here, anyway?

He isn't even officially a part of the band yet.

Leah thought he might add some sex appeal.

And since when a fish finger's been sexy?

Yeah.

- Sorry, mm... - Look at him...

You never were the sharpest tool in the shed,

but I didn't think you'd be this dumb!

- What are you talking about? - You don't realise

you left your phone in the pub?

Yeah. This popped up from some slapper

in Grimsby flashing her assets

wanting to pick up where you left off.

No, no, it was just a hen-do.

Oh, yeah, and what were you?

One more fling before the ring?

No, nothing happened, Sal, I promise.

Don't bother coming home tonight. You're barred.

Sal? Sal!

- The ring, don't kick it. - Over there!

- The flipper. - Sal!

- Flip it on the flipper. - I can't!

Um, the director would like to do one more take.

If he hasn't got it after 25,

then perhaps he should get a different job, eh?

Yeah, um, okay.

Well, there's quite a lot at stake here, Jim.

Yeah. Yeah, there is.

Families, and friendship. And none of this is helping.

Put it on the thing. Put it on the flipper.

- I'll get it. I'll get it. - Get your flipper away!

Get your flipper out of the way.

Right, okay, um...

Well, enjoy the view, Miss Flynn.

This is one of our most popular rentals.

Cheers.

What? Oh, God! Sorry.

Oh, The Folly, eh?

Oh, gonna be right up your street, ain't it?

I'm sorry?

Oh, yeah, hasn't he told you?

The place was built as a den of debauchery

some 200 years ago, so...

So?

Drinking, orgies, opium...

That was just the tea parties, so...

I don't know what you're getting at.

Don't listen to him, Miss Flynn.

It's all just old wives' tales.

Oh, he'll say anything for a sale, he will.

Oh, I don't know how you sleep at night, Logan.

Pricing locals out of the housing market and whatnot?

Hey, I have known you since you were a lad.

Where is your integrity?

Integrity, eh? Well, you are a fine one to talk.

Excuse me?

Can I have your autograph, please?

Yes, but you should be asking her for hers,

'cause she's the famous one around here.

Apparently.

It was a mutiny! There was nothing I could do!

They're a bunch of ageing fisherman,

not Pirates of the Caribbean.

Yeah, well, okay. Give me Blackbeard any day.

No, I can't do this any more, Leah!

I literally cannot function outside the M25!

Oh, stop being such a melt. How hard can it be?

Gareth? Hello?

I only agreed to this

because you said you were

personally going to take charge.

I thought he could handle it.

Time to pack your bucket and spade.

Ugh! Will you get your cloven hoof out of my face!

You can talk! Hogging the duvet all night.

I'm surprised you need one

with all that bloody hot air you've been leaking.

At least I didn't try to spoon you.

I thought I was back in bed with Sal.

Ain't no use to sit and cry

Sail away, lady, sail away

You'll be an angel by and by

Sail away, lady, sail away

Don't you rock

Don't you rock on

Don't you rock on, my daddy

Don't you rock on, daddy-oh

Afternoon, Jim.

Maggie said I'd find you here.

Oh, hello.

Head of the record label

risking getting her shoes dirty?

Must be important.

Playing the Minack Theatre in front of the national press

is about as important as it gets.

What? You got us a booking at the Minack?

Oh. Proper job.

I'm here to make sure you're all on message

for the press junket.

Yeah? Whose message might that be, then?

Yours or ours?

Same thing, Jim.

You ever done a junket before?

No.

Well, all you gotta do is grip and grin.

Sounds like a prostate examination.

Similar. Only more probing.

Tom Roberts. What's it like

sharing a record label with Lady Gaga?

Well, according to our management,

she's well chuffed.

David White, BBC Radio Cornwall.

Now, lots of people say that

- you're just a novelty act. - Oh?

But it looks like you're here to stay,

so, what's the secret ingredient?

Musical integrity.

Oggy, oggy, oggy!

Oi, I, oi!

- Oggy! - Oi!

- Oggy! - Oi!

- Oggy, oggy, oggy! - Oi, oi, oi!

Karthi Gnanasegaram. What's it like to

welcome a new member to the band?

Morgan Jenkins, like us,

is a proud Celt with a fine voice

who also risks his life volunteering for the RNLI.

Are you a fisherman by trade, too, Mr Jenkins?

Uh, no. I'm a farmer.

Christ, here we go.

Not now, Jimmy.

- What? Did you know? - I thought everybody did.

Grip and grin, Jim.

Um, that's enough questions.

Thank you.

If you could just make your way to the theatre,

you can take your seats.

This evening's performance

by the Fisherman's Friends will begin

in approximately 15 minutes.

Will you please take your seats?

Come on, son. Get over yourself.

Look where you are.

You're singing in one of the best venues in the country.

Well, I am as open-minded as the next man, Mother,

as you well know.

But you've gotta draw a line

in the sand somewhere, ain't you?

Bad enough being told

what we can and can't catch out there

but blokes like him,

he's been given subsidies not to farm.

Right now, Father would be spinning in his grave.

No, son. You are wrong there.

Jago was a man of the people.

Some of his oldest friends worked the land.

And you can pack that whisky in, and all.

I... I have had it way up to here with your fussing!

She sells seashells on the seashore.

The shells she sells are surely...

He sells seashells!

"She", Leadville. It's not "he".

That's the sort of gender stereotyping

that's fuel led centuries of female oppression.

Why should we assume

it's a woman peddling her wares?

Cheers.

- What's that say? - Uh, it's a song list.

No, no, this.

Him opening with Little Lize?

That ain't happening.

- Why not? - 'Cause it ain't!

The audience like it, and Morgan knows it.

Yeah, the boys thought it'd be a good idea

to start with something upbeat.

Put a smile on people's faces.

Oh, I ain't smiling, am I?

No, if there's gonna be any changes,

it's gotta be put to a vote, ain't it?

We already voted, Jim.

But you decided that getting another drink

was more important than having a say.

Little Lize was the first song my father ever taught me.

Now lose it.

What was that about?

Hey, alright?

We're Port Isaac's Fisherman's Friends.

If the salty smell of the sea has been overpowered by the...

by the rotten stench of manure,

well, that's because the band have asked

a muck-spreader to join us here today.

Steady on, Jim.

Our first song is A Sailor ain't a Sailor.

And ladies and gentlemen,

please give a hearty welcome

to our newest member of the band, Morgan Jenkins.

My father often told me

When I was just a lad

The Sailor's life

Is very hard The food was always bad

But now I've joined the Navy aboard a Man-o-war

And now I find a sailor ain't a sailor any more

Don't haul on the ropes

Don't climb up the mast

If you see a sailing ship It might be your last

Get your civvies ready for another run ashore

A sailor ain't a sailor Ain't a sailor any more

The killick of our mess

He says we've had it soft

It wasn't like this in his day When he was up aloft

We like our bunks and sleeping bags

But what's a hammock for?

Swinging from the deck head Or lying on the floor?

Don't haul on the ropes

Don't climb up the mast

If you see a sailing ship, it might be your last

Get your civvies ready for another run ashore

A sailor ain't a sailor Ain't a sailor any more

Don't haul on the ropes

Don't climb up the mast

If you see a sailing ship, it might be your last

Get your civvies ready for another run ashore

A sailor ain't a sailor

Ain't a sailor any more

Ah. Thank you. Thank you.

There we are, our nine Fisherman's Friends

and one sheep shagger!

- Get on with it. - Come on.

Ladies and gentlemen,

our next song is Drunken Sailor!

Oh, go and put a sock in it Germaine Greer,

I'm gonna decide what we sing next.

- Here we go, lads. - Get on with it!

Come on!

I want a refund!

I am strong.

I can make a difference.

I am strong.

I can make a difference.

Today I will succeed.

Today I will succeed.

You are not a victim.

Hey! Hi. Uh... Um, sorry. Just, um...

You are not a victim.

Just going through new artist submissions.

Mindfulness tapes, a growing market. Huge.

You are not a victim.

That's better.

I'm trying to make contact with Leah.

Any update from Cornwall?

Uh, well, no news is good news, Jez... Boss.

Jim! Jim? Jim, you're ruining this for everyone!

- Jim! Come on! - Get off of me!

Come on, Jim! What happened to "one and all"?

One and all, my arse!

Ever since we made the top ten,

it's been every bugger for himself around here!

Why don't you just take it easy, Jim?

If you've got a problem with me,

we can take it somewhere else.

Oh, sod that!

Let's have it out right here, shall we? Eh?

All right, back off!

Hey, if you touch me one more time,

I'm gonna punch you so bloody hard,

you're gonna be spittin' teeth for a bloody week!

- Jim! - Yeah, what do you want?

What the hell is going on?

Well, why don't you ask him?

- You need to calm down! - Oh, yeah!

Take a time out, you're back on in ten minutes.

No. I'm not going on anywhere.

I've had enough of this crap.

No, I quit!

Jim.

Jim!

Any sign of him?

Looked everywhere.

See, this wouldn't have happened

if I hadn't have joined the band.

Don't be daft, Morgan.

If anybody's to blame, it's Jim.

I'm sorry, I know he's going

through a tough time right now,

but he's not the only one struggling.

Not as simple as that, Rowan. You know that.

Look, this doesn't sit right with me.

You lot have been friends

since you were in short trousers.

And me being here is gonna get in the way

of you boys patching things up, so...

I reckon I should just leave you to it.

- No, Morgan. - No.

- Come on, man. - Listen, listen.

I've had the best time singing with you boys.

But this is bigger than that.

You made a right fool of yourself out there.

Oh, the whole bloody situation

has made bloody fools out of everyone, ain't it?

All I want is for things to go back to how they were before.

Change is inevitable, boy.

And in my experience,

it often brings something good

if you embrace it.

Ain't nothing good coming out of this for anyone.

No, far as I can see,

they're all just blinded by the bloody lights, that's all.

What?

'Tis so much better sitting by yourself in the dark.

Well, better that

than being surrounded by people...

and feeling lonelier than you ever have before.

Leadville?

Come on, wake up!

Wake up, you lazy so and so.

Morning, Maggie.

You made the papers.

On a scale of one to ten, how bad is it?

Eleven.

"Fisherman's Friends leave a sour taste."

"Shanty band sink to new depths."

"Cornish crooners walk the plank."

"Fans left gutted.”

What'd The Daily Mail say?

"Hook, line and stinker."

No wonder Jim's laying low.

The least he could do is

look us all in the eye and say sorry.

Well, I have never seen him so down.

I don't know what to do to get through to him any more.

Pass around the grog, me boys

Never mind the storm

Drink the good old liquor down

Until we call for more

Sing, sing...

Well, that was steeper than it looked on the map.

Yeah. Yeah.

- But worth it for this view. - Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

That was some performance you did yesterday.

Well, isn't that what lead singers are meant to do?

Put on a show, create a bit of a scandal.

I've definitely done some crazy things in my time, too.

- Oh, yeah. - Yeah.

Not quite the full Ozzy Osbourne biting

the head off a bat or anything, but...

Definitely stuff I regret.

Well, I don't mean to be rude,

but I'm up here 'cause I want to be alone.

Mm-hmm.

I get that.

Cheers.

Hey?

If you ever wanna chat with somebody,

you know where I'm staying.

Well, we're nine Fisherman's Friends

and one sheep shagger.

And our next song is Drunken Sailor!

Put a bloody sock in it, will you, Germaine Greer?

Seriously?

I'm gonna decide what we sing next.

Yeah, Leah? It's Jez.

Time to cut them loose.

There's no easy way to say this.

The president of the label has decided to drop the band.

What about the album?

We can't release something we don't represent.

There must be something you can do.

These are hands, Rowan, not magic wands.

So that's it, then? Our day in the sun is over?

Some bands don't even get there.

This isn't just any old album, Leah, you know.

Jago sings on a couple of the tracks,

it's dedicated to his memory.

I'm sensitive to the situation, Maggie.

But for the label, it's strictly business.

Well, it might be business to you, my dear,

but it's personal to me.

Jago has a chance to live on through song.

I'm sorry, Maggie.

I really am.

But this comes from the top.

There's nothing I can do.

Stormy's only got one eye

Blow, Captain Stormio

He'll always find you by and by

Blow, Captain Stormio

Stormy's roarin' round the bay

Stamp and go and heave away

Stormy's here but he can't stay

Sailors stay in port today

Stormy's watchin' with his eye

Let him pass and blow on by

He's a-lookin' at you from the sky

Blow, Captain Stormio

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide

Blow, Captain Stormio

Stormy's watchin' with his eye

Let him pass and blow on by

Let him pass and blow on by

Let him pass and blow on by

Fame is a fickle thing

that can vanish in the blink of an eye.

Something that notorious Irish singer

Aubrey Flynn found out

when she had a major meltdown and turned on her fans.

Maybe you can blame a failed album

and the pressures of a national tour,

but throw in plenty of alcohol, live TV

and you've got a recipe for disaster.

I don't care!

- Boo! - Up yours!

- Kiss my arse! - Boo!

Get me out of here!

Sorry for everything

There's a hundred roads

That I've already travelled

Got a story, ooh...

Baby, got to write

An ending

No!

Are you lost?

- Eh? - Are you lost?

No!

No, I was just checking the condition

of the stiles and fences along the coastal path.

Must be a love-hate relationship.

What's that?

You and farmers?

Oh, no, no. Enough of them buggers. No, no, no.

It was for the lifeboat service.

More work for them if someone

takes a tumble down a cliff, that's all.

Mm.

While you're up here, do you fancy a cuppa?

Yeah. Yeah, all right.

I don't suppose you got

anything stronger, have you?

I could add an extra tea bag.

Huh.

Oh, thank you.

Now that I'm up here, um...

I'd like to apologise for...

for being grouchy with you

since you arrived in town.

I've not been feeling myself of late.

I appreciate that.

I've... I've been told you...

you've packed in the drinking, is that right?

I haven't had a drink in 1,047 days.

- Mm. Yeah. Yeah. - Ah.

Sounds repetitive.

Each one's a victory.

Yeah, I like a...

pint or two myself, I can stop whenever I like.

I used to say that.

And then I realised I'd rather live my life sober

and consider myself an alcoholic than

live my life drunk

and try and convince myself that I'm not.

Yeah.

I can't ever imagine getting tired of this view.

Yeah.

Sometimes she's got a nasty habit of

letting you know how insignificant you are.

I don't need reminding of that.

Hm.

You feel it even more when you're out there, mind.

I tell you what...

I'll let you know next time I'm going out.

Maybe tag along?

If you fancy.

Hm.

What have you done to your hair?

You look like Kermit the Frog!

Trying to get back to my natural colour.

Where's your bloody washing machine?

We haven't got one.

If you wanna wash your grundies,

you're gonna have to do it the old-fashioned way.

Hot water, soap, plenty of elbow grease.

You'll have to wash the dishes first, mind.

Right. I'm off to liberate a brown trout.

- Rowan speaking. - It's me.

Is everything all right? Is Kenwyn okay?

He's fine.

I spoke to that girl from Grimsby.

She said she took advantage of you being so hammered

and hassled you into giving her your number.

I'm so, so sorry, Sal.

I've been a right fool.

But...

Listen, if we're gonna get past this then

I need to be totally honest with you, all right?

I kind of enjoyed the attention.

Made me feel wanted again.

What do you mean "wanted"?

Since we've had Kenwyn,

you've barely looked my way or laid a finger on me.

It's not that I don't want you any more.

It's just... I don't have any time to be me.

I'm either a mom

or a landlady or a housewife.

None of those things make me feel very attractive.

Got ourselves into a right muddle, didn't we?

I swear on Kenwyn's life

that I will never look at another woman ever again.

Fat lot of good

you're gonna be behind the bar.

Ker-ching!

What are you so cock-a-hoop about?

Sally's taking me back.

Thank God for that.

So if it took Mum and Danny 23 hours to fly to Sydney...

- Yeah? - ...how long would it

have taken great-great-great-

great-Uncle Jack to sail there?

Hm, four months he was at sea.

Along with some of the best tenors in the county.

All lookin' to make their fortunes

in the great copper mines of South Australia, they were.

- Did he become rich? - Uh, no.

No, but he did find happiness.

Yeah.

He found and married his true love out there, he did.

Aw.

As it happens, turns out she were born in Padstow.

A man can't have it all though, can he, eh?

Can we go and visit the old tin mine

you used to work near here?

Yeah, maybe next week.

But I wanna get on with

my school history project on it.

Yeah, well, I'm a bit busy this week, Tam.

Monday, after school. Make that a date, eh?

I've got to get this lot off,

so I'll see you later, my darlin'.

I can see why you like it out here.

Away from everyone.

All I ever wanted to be was a fisherman.

Like my father.

He used to say,

"If you can find a job you love, son,

"you won't have to do

"a hard day's work in your life."

Wise words.

I suppose you were born with sea legs.

No!

No, no, no, far from it.

No.

I suffered from seasickness so badly when I was a lad,

the others used to call me Jonah.

- Jonah? - As in Jonah and the Whale.

Someone who's bad luck.

Yeah.

Clergymen and redheads.

Also unwelcome on board.

As are women, but I expect that's for a different reason.

I'm honoured you've taken the risk.

You should be.

So, how'd you get over it?

Well, my father was a stubborn bastard, that's how.

He'd have me out here every day, no matter the weather.

No matter how often he had to hose the deck down.

He tried all the old wives' tales on me, he did.

Had me sitting on a brown paper bag,

chewing ginger,

dabbing fresh water behind my ears.

None of it worked, mind, no.

No, the only real cure for seasickness

is to go and sit under a tree.

Yeah.

No, eventually, yeah,

I expect my body just adapted, that's all.

It's amazing what we can overcome

once we put our minds to it.

Hm. Yeah.

We should press on, we, uh...

We've still got ten string of pods to pull

before we head back in.

She's like a siren...

luring him onto the rocks.

What's a siren?

Similar to a mermaid,

only more dangerous.

You have chosen your eight songs?

Mm-hmm.

You've got your luxury item, you've got your book.

- Yep. - Now, if you gotta choose

one of those songs, Aubrey Flynn...

They always do that, don't they?

- Uh, yeah. - They always throw in a name.

Which one's it gonna be?

Can I phone a friend?

No, this is not Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

This is Desert Island Discs.

Which one are you gonna choose?

- Final answer? - Yeah, final answer.

Fleet wood Mac, Landslide.

Fleet wood Mac, Landslide it is.

Thank you very, very much for joining us.

How was that? Was that all right?

- That was delicious. - Good.

It's been a long time since I've had the luxury

of actually cooking for someone.

It's been a long time since I've been cooked for.

Hm.

Well, I noticed you've got your guitar here.

Mm-hmm.

Does that mean you've been working on something?

Yeah. Yeah, always.

- Go. Go on, then. - No. Oh, no, no. No, no.

- I couldn't. - Go on.

I only sing for myself these days.

All right.

All right, what if I hide behind that chair

and then you can pretend I'm not here?

No.

Go on. A verse.

All right, just a chorus.

- I'm too shy. - Four bars.

- Two bars. First line. - Sold.

Since you asked so beautifully.

There's a hundred roads

That I've already travelled

Got a story for every day of the year

But, baby, gotta write us an ending

To stop my heart from hearing words I cannot bear

Babe, I gotta let you go

We both know it

We know

Maybe I'm a complicated soul

But I can't say that I don't wanna see you again

Ooh, babe, I gotta let you go

We both know it, yeah

We know

- That's as far as I go. - That was beautiful.

Thank you.

Wow.

What's it all about, now, that one?

- My divorce. - Oh.

That's a bloody eloquent response, if I may say so.

My marriage ended...

and best I could come up with

was a string of four-letter expletives, so...

I've said my fair share of those, too.

Yeah, I'm sure.

The first I found out about my husband's affair...

was when the tabloids turned up

on my doorstep with photographs.

- Oh, Christ. - Looking for comment.

What about you?

Oh, no. You don't wanna hear about all that.

Oh, I have aired my dirty laundry.

Fair is fair.

Oh, yeah, well, it was a, uh...

It was a lee shore wind

that first exposed my wife's infidelity.

We'd been called out to a stricken yacht

that had run aground, was taking on water.

When we got there, I found the captain

was bailing the water out with his first mate...

...who happened to be my wife.

Wow. Seriously?

Yeah, it turns out they'd been

having an affair for a couple of years.

Wow.

And old muggins here...

Thought she'd taken up sea rowing.

Oh, yeah.

What did you say to her?

Well, let's just say the trip back to the port

was something of a choppy venture.

I bet it was.

At least you can laugh about it now.

Yeah.

Yeah, that seems to be coming a little easier,

the more time I spend with you.

Don't know why we couldn't have just driven.

We mustn't give them any warning.

It's all about the element of surprise.

Lord knows what's going on up there.

How are you so sure he's up there, anyway?

Call it mother's instinct.

But he's a grown man.

If he's decided to take a walk on the wild side,

what can we do about it?

Stage an intervention.

I lost one man I love, I'm not gonna lose another.

Certainly not to drink and drugs.

- These look lovely. - Yeah.

Here, hold up.

Now, this could be the end of a beautiful friendship.

What could?

Ah.

There are two types of people in this world.

There are those who

put their jam on first...

and then those poor lost souls who reach for the cream.

There are rules for eating scones?

Ones we live and die by.

See, if you are unfortunate enough to be born in Devon,

then you put the cream on first.

Hm.

But on this side of the border,

we like to do things properly, see?

Big dollop of cream on the jam.

Hm.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

- You first. - All right.

Oh, my God!

I can't believe you've just done that.

So, would you like me to lick the cream off first?

Or the jam?

I don't think we've got a rule for that.

Oh! Hello.

Is my son in there?

Oh, my God! What has she done to you, son?

Oh. What you lot doing up here, then?

It's all right, Jim. We're here to help.

- Help with what? - I told you he was in denial.

What are you banging on about?

There's no easy way to say this, Jim,

but we've come to take you to rehab.

Rehab? What?

Jim hasn't had a drink in a week.

Well, I knew she'd say that.

That's what they always do, innit? Addicts.

Cover up for each other.

I've been sober for almost three years.

You have? Oh.

Yeah, she's been helping me out

of the muddle I got myself into.

And thanks to her,

the black cloud is starting to lift. See?

Does that mean you'll be joining the band again?

No. No, Rowan, no.

When father died, the band died with him.

But together it's up to us to keep them both alive!

- I'll leave you guys to it. - Yeah.

All right.

I've spoken to Leah Jordan.

If we can come up with a memorable marketing angle,

we are in with a gambler's chance

of the label taking us back!

Oh, well. Good luck with that, eh, Mother.

Tell you what, you give me a call

when you've booked us a nice slot

on the Pyramid Stage at Glastonbury. Right?

I'm teaching her how to bake a scone.

I'll see you later, all right?

Scone?

Sorry about that.

They care.

That's nothing to apologise for.

Hm.

I want my love back

It's over, that is that

This is the final act

I want my love back

I want my love back

Ah. This has got number one written all over it.

Just wait until we get her on the chat shows.

You're not seriously gonna let her speak?

She's fun.

She's thick.

Success is measured in record sales, Leah, not brain cells.

Jez, she thought Rio Ferdinand

was the capital of Brazil.

Uh...

Hello! Um, I've got Maggie on the phone.

Mad Maggie?

From Cornwall. Do you want me to tell her you're busy?

Uh, no. No. I'll take it.

Thanks.

Maggie, what can I do for you?

Hello, Leah. I got one word to say to you.

Glastonbury.

Uh, what about it?

Would the label take the boys back

if they sang there this year?

Maggie,

Glastonbury is the biggest music festival in the world.

Every A-list artist dreams of performing there.

Only a handful get to realise that dream.

Well, that's probably because

they don't have the special connection we have.

What connection?

Joseph of Arimathea.

Joseph who?

You know, Jesus's uncle, the tinner.

He sailed from Galilee

to Saint Michael's Mount to buy tin,

and he brought Jesus with him.

The Son of God came to Penzance?

We are the chosen people, Leah.

You may laugh, my dear...

But where'd you think we got the saffron from

for the saffron buns?

Maggie, you're losing me here.

What has any of this got to do with Glastonbury?

Well, before they went home,

Jesus and Joseph stopped off

in the Men dip Hills to buy lead.

And Uncle Joseph planted his staff

on the mount above Glastonbury,

which grew into the famous Glastonbury Thorn,

which blooms every year at Christmas.

You know, the one the Queen

has a sprig of on her breakfast table

before she gives the corgis their sherry?

Sounds like you're the one

who's been on the sherry, Maggie.

It's true.

William Blake wrote about it in the song Jerusalem.

And did those feet in ancient time

Walk upon England's mountains green

Uh... Look, um, Maggie,

even if this holy connection paid off,

you don't have a lead singer.

Well, if you're talking about Jim,

he's had a change of heart.

We're all one big happy family again.

- We are? - You are?

He's always wanted to play Glastonbury.

Ever since Jago took him there in 1982 to see Van Morrison.

Okay, but what about the beef between him and Morgan?

Wouldn't it be a wonderful way to celebrate

them all getting back together again?

Okay, yeah.

Keep me posted and if anything comes of it,

I'll take it to my boss.

Okay? Good. Thank you, take care.

And good luck!

That woman has seriously lost the plot.

Yeah. A tinner?

Come on, let's have a look.

- There you are. - Oh, hello, my darlings.

Off you go.

Thank you.

Oh.

Here.

Michael and Emily Eavis, Worthy Farm, Glastonbury.

That's the one.

I hate to be a naysayer, Maggie,

but how do you know

Michael Eavis even likes lobster?

Well, it's just a little sweetener, you know,

while he listens to the album

and reads my letter reminding him of our holy connection.

If we manage to pull this off,

it'll be up there with changing water into wine.

Come on, my darling.

Let's go for that walk on the headland.

Well, have fun. We'll see you later at lunchtime.

Will do.

As much as I love having you to myself,

you can't stay up here hiding away from the world forever.

No, the trouble is

I'm not sure the world is the same

without my father in it.

I know.

Why is it the little things that...

that I miss the most?

Like the way he'd tell a story.

Same story a hundred times,

but you'd always wanna hear the end.

Hm.

And how he'd get up every morning of his life,

before the sun,

no matter what time he'd gone to bed the night before.

And his hands.

I can't stop thinking about his bloody hands.

He'd pull out pod after pod after pod,

no matter what the weather was like.

I don't know how he managed it.

They were always so warm.

He'd pick me up

and he'd put me on his lap,

and let me take the wheel all the way back to port.

He'd put them on my cheeks.

I was half frozen to death.

Sorry.

- Oh, God. - What?

Mother and Tamsyn have gone missing.

- Tams yn! - Tams yn!

Tam!

Tamsyn!

If anything's happened to her,

I won't forgive myself.

You can't think like that, Jim.

Tamsyn! Tamsyn!

- Mother! - Maggie!

Tam!

Hey! Anything?

We came up from the village,

checked Blubber Point, nothing.

- Right. - Jim.

I'm here to help.

Where the hell are they?

Oh, Christ, no. She wouldn't, would she?

What?

The mine.

Tamsyn! Mother!

- Tamsyn! - Maggie! Maggie!

- Tamsyn! - Keep going.

Tamsyn!

Just stop a minute and listen!

Help!

- I heard something. - Where?

Over there. Down on the ridge.

Help!

Oh, Christ.

Help!

- Tamsyn! - We're down here!

- Oh! - Granfer!

All right, stay there! Coastguard!

Coming, Tam.

You just stay calm, all right?

Pull this away. One, two, three!

Mind the dust, Tam.

- Right. - Coastguard, please!

- An emergency! - Got you, Jim!

- You all right, Tam? - I'm scared and cold.

- Mother! Mother! - She's not waking up.

- Is she breathing? - She's gone to sleep.

Stay there! Do not move an inch!

Hurry up!

- Good girl! - Don't leave!

- Coastguard's on its way, Jim. - Tam's hurt her arm.

Looks like it could be broken. Mother's unconscious.

Don't know about her injuries.

I'm gonna want to get down there.

We haven't got time to wait for the Coastguard.

We have to, Jim.

They are on a ledge, 15 foot down.

If that one gives way, they ain't coming out.

So, you're gonna have to lower me down

and haul us all out!

Request for

immediate Coastguard Rescue Team

and helicopter assistance to Port Isaac mine.

That's it. That's it. Nice. Yeah.

Slow, slow, slow, slow.

I'm sorry, it was my fault, Granfer.

I begged her to take me here.

Don't you worry about a thing, my love.

- Come on, give me more! - Just slow, now.

I wanna make sure this ledge can take me!

- Easy, easy, easy! - Let it out, let it out.

“Wait!

Watch out, Granfer!

- All right, Jim? - Yeah.

- All right! - Hold.

Now, the only thing that matters

is getting you out of here, all right, my precious?

All right. What we're gonna do...

Let me just check Grandma's pulse.

Is she gonna be all right?

Yeah. Yeah, of course, she's gonna be all right.

She's strong as an ox, like you, eh?

- All right, haul away. - Pull!

Haul away. Up. Up.

I got you! I got you. I got you.

Hey, Jim! Jim!

- Granfer! - Are you all right?

Jim!

I'm okay.

Thank you.

Aye?

One and all, Jim.

One and all, mate.

She's got a broken collarbone

and the ECG's still showing signs

of an erratic heart rhythm,

which isn't unusual for a hypothermic incident.

No, I mean, she's gonna be all right, though, isn't she?

Obviously, her age is a factor.

So, the next 24 hours will be critical.

You should go home and get some rest.

We'll call you if anything changes.

It's all right, Mother.

I'm not leaving you.

Tamsyn needs you now.

I'll stay with her.

Thought we might find you lot here.

Oh, hello, lads.

- Hi. - All right?

- Yeah, yeah. - Hi, Aubrey.

Hey.

- Hi, Tam. How's your arm? - A bit better, thanks.

How is she?

Oh, doctor's just saying, just gotta wait.

And hope.

I stood on Cape Cornwall

In the sun's evening glow

On Chywoone Hill at Newlyn

To watch the fishing fleets go

Watched the sheave wheels at Geevor

As they spun around

And heard the men singing

As they go underground

And no one will ever

Move me from this land

Until the Lord calls me

To sit at his hand

For this is my Eden

And I'm not alone

For this is my Cornwall

And this is my home

First thing in the morning

On Chapel Carn Brea

To gaze at the Scillies

In the blue far away

For this is my Cornwall

And I'll tell you why

Because I was born here

And here I shall die

And no one will ever

Move me from this land

Until the Lord calls me

To sit at his hand

For this is my Eden

And I'm not alone

For this is my Cornwall

And this is my home

For this is my Cornwall

And this is my home

A...

...to E.

Mm-hmm. Very good.

E, yeah. A.

Mm-hmm.

D.

It's almost a song.

Jim.

Answer the phone.

- Jim. - Yeah.

Harbour View.

This is Jim speaking.

Hey.

Thank you. Thanks for letting me know. Good.

Yeah. Yeah, she's gonna be all right.

Oh, my God.

She's gonna be all right, come here.

All right.

Here.

Here we are.

- Just put this down there. - Yeah, yeah.

- Then I'm all right. - All right, yeah, yeah.

- Careful, steady. - I'll be all right now.

Oh.

There we go.

Ooh.

- Oh. - Yeah. All right?

Oh.

Oh, I can't tell you how glad I am to see this view again.

Come on. Let's get you in, all right?

Yeah.

- Mind those steps. - Oh.

All right. All right. All right. All right.

Steady on. Careful.

You give Long John Silver a run for his money.

All you need is a parrot on your shoulder.

Yeah, I gave you the black spot and all.

- Hello, Aubrey. - How you feeling?

I'm grateful to be alive, really.

And I'm even more grateful that I've got

a great, big strong son like I've got.

There.

Hewn from that Cornish granite just like

five generations of fishermen before him.

That's enough now.

From what I can see,

the women are hewn from the same rock.

Oh.

Come on, let's get you in that seat.

Let's sit you down over here, all right?

Don't fuss, my love. Thank you, don't.

Some things never change.

Thank you for looking out for my boy.

He's a lovely fella.

Oh.

Lovely to see you up and about, Maggie.

Harbour View Bed and Breakfast.

- Granfer, it's for you. - Yeah?

He says his name is Michael Eavis.

Michael? Michael Eavis? Hello? Hello?

- It's him. - It's not him.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, well, you're welcome.

Oh, thank you.

No, we'd be very happy to.

Yes, yes, Michael. Yes, yes, yes.

One more thing, yeah, yeah.

You're a silly arse and I know what you're up to.

Oh! Danny, eh?

Oh, messing around,

putting on a dodgy West Country accent and all.

Well, but, Jim, it's, uh,

it's nearly four o'clock in the morning in Australia.

Yeah, well, he's still getting used to the jetlag, isn't he?

- After all this time? - Eh?

Well, what did he say, anyway?

He said he was grateful for the lobster we sent him,

he loved the album,

and then he invited us to play at Glasto this year.

I think you should call 1471, love.

Oh, Mother,

why would Michael Eavis be calling us here, eh?

How would he get hold of our number?

I think you should check, you know? Just in case.

- Go on, Jim! Check! - Go on, Jim. Yeah.

Go on, just ring him.

Well...

Oh, it's ringing. It's ringing.

Bugger me.

It is him and all.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

What have you been up to, Mother?

Nothing.

Just pulling a few strings.

Sorry, Mr Eavis.

We'd be honoured to sing on your farm.

It would mean the world to me

if you'd come along to support us.

I'm thrilled for you.

I'm thrilled for all of you, but...

I made a promise to myself

to never go back to that world.

Oh. Oh.

It won't be the same without you, you know.

That world doesn't change, Jim.

No, people do.

You have.

And I'd be there with you this time.

Oi! Sid and Nancy!

Hey, no. No, no, no, come on, mate. Leave us alone.

Back on the booze again, is it, Aubrey?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh. - Piss off! Go on, piss off!

What do you want me to do? Kick your bloody arse?

Oh, Jim, no.

No, Jim, don't, don't! Don't! That's what he wants!

Go on! Get out of here!

Get you nicked for that, mate. Get you breathalysed, too!

- That's exactly what he wants. - Thank you very much!

- God! - Hey! Hey, it's all right!

What the hell were you thinking?

No, it's over.

- It's gone! - It's not over!

Those pictures are gonna be everywhere!

- So what, who cares? - I care!

Why? What? Are you...

What, are you...

Are you embarrassed to be seen with me or something?

No! It's not about you, Jim.

You've made the papers, yes,

but you don't know what this is like.

You have no idea what it's like to be followed,

to be judged, to be commented on.

You have no idea!

I came here to get away from all that.

I came here for a simpler life,

not a more complicated one.

No, I'm sorry about that,

but this doesn't have to be complicated. It's...

I can't do this, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Aubrey!

Aubrey!

But they are booked to play Glastonbury!

How much more convincing can a man want?

Glastonbury is the issue.

The boys screwed up the Minack

in front of The National Press.

- Shh. - He doesn't want to risk them

humiliating the label again on a global stage.

But I can rein 'em in.

It's not just their behaviour, Maggie.

It's their voices.

Hello, Leah. Jim here.

What was that about voices?

There's no easy way to say this.

The president doesn't think you can cut it live.

Bloody cheek!

Uh-oh.

Nothing to do with me.

Oh, Christ, what are they doing?

Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention?

Please do not be alarmed, this is not a robbery.

No need to stand up or curtsy, for that matter.

- Have you taken a wrong turn? - Huh?

Billingsgate Market's that way.

Uh, we're not here to sell you fish, Mr Chandra.

Really?

That's right, we're here to sing for our supper.

Well, this is lunch, actually.

Yes, and we'd like to be left alone in peace to enjoy it

as I'm sure everybody else here would, too.

Well, why don't we let them be the judge of that, eh?

A sing-a-long never spoiled anybody's appetite.

It depends who's singing it.

Well, that's the thing, Mr Chandra.

Apparently you think that we can't cut it.

But you've never even seen us perform.

No, it's like sending your food back

before you've tasted it.

Rowan? Take it away.

I've been a Wild Rover

For many a year

And I spent all my monies on whiskey and beer

But now I'm returning with gold in great store

And I never will play the Wild Rover no more

And it's no, nay, never

No, nay, never no more will I play the Wild Rover

No, never, no more

I went to an alehouse I used to frequent

And I told the landlady my money was spent

I asked her for credit, she answered me, nay

Such a custom as yours I can have any day

And it's no, nay, never

No, nay, never, no more

Will I play the Wild Rover

No, never, no more

I went to my parents

-Confessed what I'd done -Yes, he did

And I asked them to pardon their prodigal son

And when they caress me as oft times before

I never will play the Wild Rover no more

And it's no, nay, never

No, nay, never, no more

Will I play the Wild Rover

No, never, no more

Come on, one more time!

And it's no, nay, never

No, nay, never, no more

Will I play the Wild Rover

No, never, no more

Thank you.

Well, they do say the customer's always right.

Well?

You've got yourselves a new record deal.

Yes! Yes!

Get in there!

All right.

Oh.

Proper job.

Thank you.

Good morning, everybody!

If you're just tuning in,

I am joined by Port Isaac's Fisherman's Friends.

Come on.

You are the world's oldest boy band, right?

With a combined age of, uh...

What's it? 643?

That's just Leadville.

How do you feel about having being asked to sing

at Glastonbury this year?

As long as we don't forget

to put our teeth in we'll be fine, eh?

Now, all big bands throughout the years

have had their ups and downs and you are no exception.

Well, it'd have been a bit boring

if we hadn't weathered a few storms.

Quite right, but I do actually think

people listening would like to know

what you guys fell out over.

Was it... Was it more song list than shellfish?

It was my behaviour,

actually, Chris, I, erm...

Yeah, well, my father had passed away, you know.

I was drowning my sorrows

and behaved like a complete arse.

That's a big thing to admit to.

Oh, actually, what was bigger is, the lads here,

they supported me,

and for the most part, anyway, they, uh...

They forgave me, too.

Well, that's a sign of true friendship.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

Do you have any advice for

people listening going through similar?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

I know, it's been said a thousand times before,

but it's worth repeating.

It really is okay...

not to be okay.

Well, I think there's a lot of...

a lot of blokes out there who

find it hard to talk about their feelings and such.

Probably starts out when they're boys, being told to...

to man up and be strong

and, you know, "Don't cry like a girl," that kind of thing.

And then it ends up with men feeling embarrassed

and ashamed when they can't cope.

Now, I learned the hard way, see?

It's not weak to ask for help.

You know, they say that boys don't cry, well...

This man does.

Well, I can certainly identify with that.

Uh, for anyone just tuning in,

I am joined by Port Isaac's Fisherman's Friends

whose brand-new album is out at the end of June.

And if you've got a ticket to Glastonbury,

do not miss this old bunch of pirates

who are supporting Beyoncé.

I mean, actual factual Beyoncé!

You're everywhere

And nowhere, baby

That's where you're at

Saying everything is groovy

When your tyres are flat

And it's hi, ho, silver lining

And away you go now, baby

I see your sun is shining

But I won't make a fuss

And it's hi, ho, silver lining

And away you go now, baby

I see your sun is shining

But I won't make a fuss

Hello! I'm here to pick up 15 Access All Areas passes

for the Fisherman's Friends.

Uh, all the food, beverage

and catering passes are allocated

at the trader's entrance, uh, gate G.

Oh, wait, no.

Fisherman's Friends are a band.

Yeah, they're playing

the Pyramid Stage this afternoon, so...

Uh, sorry.

I thought you were talking about the cough sweets.

No, they're a band.

What shall we do with a drunken sailor?

What shall we do with a drunken sailor?

Early in the morning!

Hooray, and up she rises...

This is supposed to be the VIP area,

can't they just behave?

It's who they are.

Just got to grip and grin, I suppose.

...the morning!

Black coffee, please.

Hello, Jim.

Well, it's a strange place to come,

if you're gonna stay under the radar.

Some things are worth breaking cover for.

- Oh, yeah? Like what? - Mm.

Supporting someone I care about.

- I heard you on the radio. - Oh. Waffling on.

No.

Saying important things that some people needed to hear.

I shouldn't have walked away.

I shouldn't have let you.

Oh, I have missed you.

Here's Mother.

Hello, Aubrey.

- Nice to see you again. - Nice to see you, too, Maggie.

- Hi, Sally. - Hi.

If you're thinking of, you know,

hanging around a bit, uh,

Sally and I were wondering if you would like to

join a rather exclusive club.

What kind of club?

The FWAGs.

FWAGs?

"Fisherman's Wives and Girlfriends."

Oh, Christ. Oh, Mother.

- I'd be honoured. - Oh, good!

Lads, what are you doing here?

We've been looking everywhere for you.

- Jim? - Yeah?

Jim, what are you playing at?

You know.

It's not like we're stalking her or anything.

"Dear Beyoncé, we're happy to share our dressing room,

"just don't go nicking any of our songs.

"Biggest and best,

"Port Isaac's Fisherman's Friends."

Lads, you're gonna get us thrown out.

No, we won't.

Listen, I just been chewin' the fat with her husband.

He's a really top bloke, that Jay-Zed, isn't he?

It's Jay-Z, you pillock.

Come on!

Yes! Jay-Z since forever.

Fancy one last song, then?

One last song.

Oh, come on.

Oh, my God.

Here we go!

Bloody hell! Look at that!

We are the Fisherman's Friends from Port Isaac in Cornwall.

Thank you, yeah.

Now we are the men who've done for singing

what Long John Silver did for tap dancing.

There's been an awful lot of things

going on in the world at the moment

that's dragging people apart.

So I'm grateful that we're all here

in this field at Worthy Farm today,

about to have a good sing-song.

And that's 'cause we all believe.

We've got much more in common

than we have which divides us.

That's right.

And out first song is a celebration of that.

And it's called The Union of Different Kinds.

For all the small people

And the tall people

For the dispossessed

And the observers

For all the broken-hearted

And the recently departed

For the unwashed

And the unheard

Mother Nature don't draw straight lines

We're broken moulds in a grand design

We look a mess but we're doin' fine

We're card-carrying lifelong members

Of the union of different kinds

For all the lonely faces

In those empty spaces

For the unloved

And the denied

For the little wheel

Turning bigger deal

For the dreams that bloom

And those that die

Mother Nature don't draw straight lines

We're broken moulds in a grand design

We look a mess but we're doin' fine

We're card-carrying lifelong members

Of the union of different kinds

Whoo!

We made it.

And if you ever fancy a change of scenery,

I think the label could use a fixer like you.

You're never gonna believe it!

I've just bumped into a movie producer.

He says he wants to make a film about the band!

Well, that's definitely never gonna happen.

And the river finds its end in the sea

Yes, it does

Mother Nature don't draw straight lines

We're broken moulds in a grand design

We look a mess but we're doin' fine

We're card-carrying lifelong members

Of the union of different kinds

Come on, Glastonbury!

Mother Nature don't draw straight lines

We're broken moulds in a grand design

Let's stand up for one last time

We're card-carrying lifelong members

Of the union of different kinds

There once was a ship

That put to sea

The name of the ship was the Billy of Tea

The winds blew up, her bow dipped down

Oh, blow, my bully boys, blow, hey!

Soon may the Weller man come

To bring us sugar and tea and rum

One day, when the tonguing is done

We'll take our leave and go

When we first got picked up, this was the plan.

We thought, "If we get to Glastonbury, that's it.

"We've made it."

The captain ordered all hands and swore

He'd take that whale in tow, ho!

It's a huge, mega deal for us!

We're just hoping someone's prepared to get up

that early in the morning to come and see us.

Take our leave and go

Before the boat had hit the water

The whale's tail came up and caught her...

We got through about ten checkpoints,

we had to strip naked...

We're finally in.

Well, you didn't have to, Trev.

I didn't have to, but one or two chose to do that.

One day, when the tonguing is done

We'll take our leave and go

No line was cut, no whale was freed

These songs were just evolved by ordinary people,

and so, people can still relate to them now,

you know, they are the people's songs.

And we're the people championing them.

To bring us sugar and tea and rum

One day, when the tonguing is done

We'll take our leave and go

- It's very muddy out there. - It did look muddy.

It's not so bad, though, is it?

There's nothing like the real thing now, is there?

Boats were lost

There were only four

But still that whale did go, ho!

Soon may the Weller man come

Wake up and smell the bacon.

It's the Fisherman's Friends.

Take our leave and go

For 40 days or even more

The line went slack then tight once more

Cornish flags. Very important.

"One and all", Cornish motto.

Still that whale did go, ho!

Soon may the Weller man come

To bring us sugar and tea and rum

One day, when the tonguing is done

Yeah, very important, Cornish flags.

Makes us feel as though we're at home.

As far as I've heard

The fight's still on

The line's not cut, the whale's not gone

The Weller man makes his regular call

We're feeling up for it, aren't we? Come on, boys.

Soon may the Weller man come

To bring us sugar and tea and rum

One day, when the tonguing is done

We'll take our leave and go

Soon may the Weller man come...

Here we go, guys.

To bring us sugar and tea and rum

One day, when the tonguing is done

We'll take our leave and go

What shall we do

With a drunken sailor?

What shall we do with a drunken sailor?

What shall we do with a drunken sailor?

Early in the morning!

Hooray, and up she rises

Hooray, and up she rises

Hooray, and up she rises

Early in the morning!

Have you seen the captain's daughter?

Have you seen the captain's daughter?

Have you seen the captain's daughter?

Early in the morning!

Hooray, and up she rises

Hooray, and up she rises

Hooray, and up she rises

Early in the morning!

Keel-haul him, keel-haul him

Keel-haul him, keel-haul him

Keel-haul him, keel-haul him

Early in the morning!

Hooray, and up she rises

Hooray, and up she rises

Hooray, and up she rises

Early in the morning!

There was a time when Cornish men were always underground

Our techniques and technologies

Were known the world around

But when the mines were sleeping

There was hardship, there was strife

And we had to travel overseas to find a better life

On the shore

True love will wait for evermore

So here's to tomorrow

Whatever's gone before

Cornwall lies waiting on the shore

Oh, this is not a song for sadness

Though that's the way it seems

We'll always have our roots, boys

We'll always have our dreams

In every corner of the world

You'll always hear the call

Get on, boy, with our song

On with her, one and all

On the shore

Your true love will wait for evermore

So here's to tomorrow

Whatever's gone before

Cornwall lies waiting on the shore

On the shore

Your true love will wait for evermore

So here's to tomorrow

Whatever's gone before

Cornwall lies waiting on the shore

Oh, Cornwall lies waiting on the shore

Oh, Cornwall lies waiting on the shore

Down, down and down he dived

John in the barrel went over the side

Will he ever come back up alive?

Haul him up for air, boys

Down, down and down he dived

John in the barrel went over the side

Hold your breath and enjoy the ride

You're gonna be a millionaire, boy

Seventeen children make you poor

The price of wool right through the floor

Plenty of money to be made

Sixty feet below the waves

Down, down and down he dived

John in the barrel went over the side

Will he ever come back up alive?

Haul him up for air, boys

Down, down and down he dived

John in the barrel went over the side

Hold your breath and enjoy the ride

You're gonna be a millionaire, boy

Viking blood and nerves of steel

How close to heaven do you feel?

Many stories he could tell

Down, down and down he dived

John in the barrel went over the side

Hold your breath and enjoy the ride

You're gonna be a millionaire, boy