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1
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:24,458
Boner.
2
00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:27,494
Funny word.
3
00:00:27,996 --> 00:00:29,296
I wonder who made it up.
4
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:32,197
Like, who was that first guy?
5
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:34,167
To just say boner?
6
00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:38,305
If you think about it long
enough, you probably get one.
7
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,274
I mean, I do.
8
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And it is so worth it when
you're alone just before you
9
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:55,523
blow and everything else
in the world disappears.
10
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:03,798
But the really great part is
what you don't think about
11
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:08,335
all the crappy, boring shit
you have to do that you hate.
12
00:01:12,574 --> 00:01:13,741
In a minute.
13
00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:39,199
One, two.
14
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:41,736
Hand me a rag, will you?
15
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,338
Light.
16
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:49,107
And seriously, anything
is better than holding the
17
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:52,080
fucking flashlight while dad
pretends to be a car mechanic.
18
00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:56,249
Come on, Randy, let's go.
19
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,253
Dad, do you think I could, uh.
20
00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:02,222
Go on.
21
00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:05,760
Get. Give me the
damn flashlight.
22
00:02:06,561 --> 00:02:09,564
You know, it's not all
driving around chasing girls.
23
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:15,901
Kitty boys.
24
00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:17,536
That's us.
25
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:20,740
So we got the name from this
legal brothel in Nevada, the
26
00:02:20,742 --> 00:02:21,909
kitty ranch.
27
00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:25,113
And I know you got to pay for
it, but no more virgin crap.
28
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:31,483
Mark's my best friend, I
guess, but also a real dick.
29
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:34,120
Which is why he calls me Dandy
Randy and shit, even though I'm
30
00:02:34,122 --> 00:02:35,320
not dandy.
31
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,757
And going to the kitty ranch
will definitely prove I'm not,
32
00:02:37,759 --> 00:02:39,761
you know, dandy.
33
00:02:40,795 --> 00:02:43,929
And then there's Mark's friend
Samson, who knows everything
34
00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:44,897
about the kitty ranch.
35
00:02:44,899 --> 00:02:45,831
His older brother took him
36
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,232
there last year
for his birthday.
37
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:49,302
So he's the professional.
38
00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:52,571
Adam is also a,
you know, virgin.
39
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:57,275
But he's also really smart,
like Genius, but no one can
40
00:02:57,277 --> 00:02:58,946
tell because he's
stoned all the time.
41
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,946
He took this picture of us
so we could have something to
42
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,617
remember when we got old.
43
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:05,651
I mean, we couldn't take home
a souvenir from a whorehouse.
44
00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:06,854
You know what I mean?
45
00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:08,355
There, there.
46
00:03:09,791 --> 00:03:11,592
Let's fucking get laid.
47
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:15,530
I came all over her face.
48
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,303
Big basketball sized cities.
49
00:03:25,305 --> 00:03:26,839
Basket, basketball.
50
00:03:26,841 --> 00:03:27,940
Tit, titties.
51
00:03:27,942 --> 00:03:29,274
I love basketball.
52
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:31,177
I caused a natural
disaster, bro.
53
00:03:31,179 --> 00:03:32,343
Hell, yeah.
54
00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:33,946
I mean, you're not gonna be
playing basketball with her.
55
00:03:33,948 --> 00:03:35,215
I could be.
56
00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:37,717
Oh, Jesus.
57
00:03:37,719 --> 00:03:42,788
I myself want a woman that
knows how to dress herself.
58
00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:45,725
Because then, you know,
I'm more attracted to that.
59
00:03:45,727 --> 00:03:47,893
And maybe she could give
me some fashion sense.
60
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,831
Jesus fucking Christ, guys.
61
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:51,697
Leave your dicks back
in kindergarten.
62
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,532
It's like a candy
wrapper, right?
63
00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:53,999
When you look.
64
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,201
At candy.
65
00:03:55,203 --> 00:03:56,669
You're not attracted to
what the candy looks like.
66
00:03:56,671 --> 00:03:57,737
Candy normally looks like shit.
67
00:03:57,739 --> 00:03:59,705
You're attracted
to the wrapper.
68
00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:00,873
Oh my God, dude.
69
00:04:00,875 --> 00:04:02,340
You're trying to
undress her, man.
70
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:04,309
You're trying to get
her naked and nail her.
71
00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:06,881
Right, but I'm just kind of
thinking about more than that.
72
00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:15,320
Amway. Fucking rule.
73
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:16,856
Sampson sells soap and
household
74
00:04:16,858 --> 00:04:18,256
products to the
neighborhood moms.
75
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:22,327
253 Buck-a-rooney's
in one hour.
76
00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:23,829
He wants to be a
millionaire by 25.
77
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:24,897
So I guess he's the guy to take
78
00:04:24,899 --> 00:04:26,165
charge of our
mission to get laid.
79
00:04:26,167 --> 00:04:29,434
All you got to do is get, like,
ten people to sign up, and then
80
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,603
you step up to junior bronze.
81
00:04:30,605 --> 00:04:33,239
And that is where the money is.
82
00:04:33,241 --> 00:04:35,375
Here. It's yours.
83
00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:38,711
Rick Van Rich is a fucking
free market genius.
84
00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:40,047
He's fucking brilliant.
85
00:04:40,915 --> 00:04:43,015
Oh, and by the way, you might
86
00:04:43,017 --> 00:04:45,418
want to lose the
baby face, my friend.
87
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:47,052
Flirting with the
customers is key.
88
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:49,622
And while the housewives love a
89
00:04:49,624 --> 00:04:51,524
strong jawline,
you'll get there.
90
00:04:51,526 --> 00:04:52,758
But listen to that tape.
91
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,392
I got a whole box full.
92
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:57,464
A seriously mark, $60
gets you a starter kit.
93
00:04:57,565 --> 00:04:59,698
If I had 60 bucks I'd spend
it on some pussy.
94
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:02,902
Fucking A. Now, that
is number one, boys.
95
00:05:02,904 --> 00:05:08,543
Okay. The good lord put pussy
on this earth to be banged.
96
00:05:08,643 --> 00:05:10,910
I hear that you boys need my
97
00:05:10,912 --> 00:05:14,414
wisdom on purchasing said pussy.
98
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,883
Gotta get Randy here laid
before his dick falls off from
99
00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:18,818
lack of use.
100
00:05:18,820 --> 00:05:19,921
You won't get laid, huh?
101
00:05:20,054 --> 00:05:20,888
Yeah.
102
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,924
I want some pussy.
103
00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:24,957
Hey, there's nothing
funny about
104
00:05:24,959 --> 00:05:26,324
a man wanting some pussy, Mark.
105
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,628
- Yeah, but.
- I said there's nothing funny.
106
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:30,598
All right.
107
00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:33,065
Okay, maybe I'll tag along.
108
00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:34,633
And not because I
need to pay for it.
109
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:35,935
Because I got those bitches
110
00:05:35,937 --> 00:05:38,436
lining up begging
for my sweet dick.
111
00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:39,839
There's no room in
your bug, though.
112
00:05:39,841 --> 00:05:42,009
Randy's dad's got
a station wagon.
113
00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:47,648
Bitchin. Randy, my man,
we're gonna get you laid.
114
00:06:18,012 --> 00:06:19,446
Almost done with homework?
115
00:06:19,981 --> 00:06:20,646
Almost.
116
00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:23,618
Hurry up. It's based 1999 time.
117
00:06:25,086 --> 00:06:30,691
3, 2, 1, 0.
All engine running.
118
00:06:30,892 --> 00:06:33,628
Liftoff! We have a liftoff.
119
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:49,043
Open your textbooks
to page 85, please.
120
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:51,078
All right.
121
00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:54,481
When an individual sperm.
122
00:07:05,159 --> 00:07:08,829
Mr. Randy Parker,
can you tell us?
123
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:12,432
Uh.
124
00:07:13,935 --> 00:07:16,203
Can you repeat the
question, please?
125
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:22,508
When an individual sperm
fertilizes an egg, what
126
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:24,512
immediately happens to the egg?
127
00:07:27,782 --> 00:07:29,415
Let's focus people.
128
00:07:29,417 --> 00:07:31,786
Who has the answer for
Mr. Parker?
129
00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:34,687
Yes. Uh, new girl, miss, uh.
130
00:07:34,689 --> 00:07:35,554
Melissa.
131
00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:36,724
Yes. Go on.
132
00:07:36,791 --> 00:07:39,457
Okay. So the egg, like, shuts
so that all the other sperm
133
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,025
can't get in.
134
00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:41,095
Exactly.
135
00:07:41,195 --> 00:07:43,097
- Dyke.
- Shut up, pussy face.
136
00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:44,196
Melissa!
137
00:07:44,198 --> 00:07:45,531
What about him?
138
00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:48,067
I will not have that kind
of language in my classroom.
139
00:07:48,069 --> 00:07:49,535
From a girl, you mean.
140
00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:50,938
Vice principal now?
141
00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:53,741
Not a good start, young lady.
142
00:07:54,442 --> 00:07:55,473
And it begins.
143
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,611
And do something
about that hair.
144
00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:59,613
This is not Star Wars.
145
00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:05,953
Redemption time for Mr. Parker.
146
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:09,223
Because you're
teetering on a solid D.
147
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:26,071
It's Randy, right?
148
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:27,639
Yeah. Yeah, Randy.
149
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,944
Hi. um,
150
00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:32,745
uh. Melissa.
151
00:08:32,747 --> 00:08:34,013
Yeah, Melissa the dyke.
152
00:08:34,015 --> 00:08:36,615
Oh, but I'm not really a dyke.
153
00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:38,017
No. Yeah, I know.
154
00:08:38,019 --> 00:08:43,989
I, I didn't, I just I was
just making conversation.
155
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:45,858
Ooh. Metamorphosis.
156
00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:47,161
How you liking it?
157
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,795
I don't think I
quite understand it.
158
00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:50,765
Keep reading it.
159
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,031
You will.
160
00:08:52,033 --> 00:08:55,134
Well, I have to have a book
report about it due next week.
161
00:08:55,136 --> 00:08:56,537
I could help.
162
00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:57,936
- Really?
- Yeah.
163
00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:59,038
Just come over to my place.
164
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,040
You know where, uh, Saint
Mary's and Helen Lane cross?
165
00:09:01,042 --> 00:09:02,808
Yeah. That's literally, like,
down the street from me.
166
00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:05,046
Really? Give me your hand.
167
00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,551
Okay, okay. That tickles. Stop.
168
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:14,055
Just come over any
time after four.
169
00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:16,190
Yeah. Okay.
170
00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:20,059
So here's the plan, boys.
171
00:09:20,061 --> 00:09:20,893
We're gonna throw a kegger
172
00:09:20,895 --> 00:09:24,165
party charge about
$5 each per head.
173
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:27,066
That's enough to get us sucked
and fucked at the kitty ranch,
174
00:09:27,068 --> 00:09:28,002
don't you think?
175
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:29,301
Yeah. Twice over.
176
00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:30,571
What do you think, Randy?
177
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:32,339
Well, I, uh.
178
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:35,174
Come on, dude, like, why
are you asking Randy, bro?
179
00:09:35,176 --> 00:09:37,142
He's just gonna be all
awkward at the party anyways.
180
00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:37,976
I don't know, he's.
181
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,046
Fuck you, Mark.
182
00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:41,046
I'm gonna be fucking so
many more whores than you are.
183
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:42,683
You know I love you, pal.
184
00:10:19,220 --> 00:10:22,121
Amazing. That was amazing.
185
00:10:22,123 --> 00:10:24,758
Yeah that's, that's
all I know so far.
186
00:10:24,859 --> 00:10:28,227
You know, you're a really
great cello player.
187
00:10:28,229 --> 00:10:29,730
- You know.
- Cellist.
188
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:32,233
Right? Cellist.
189
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:35,134
My friends and I are
throwing a party tonight.
190
00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:35,901
You should come.
191
00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:36,735
You know, we're
gonna have a keg.
192
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:38,103
It's gonna be a kegger.
193
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:39,306
I don't like beer.
194
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:43,077
Well, maybe you
could come anyway.
195
00:10:45,246 --> 00:10:47,779
- Shit.
- What?
196
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:48,914
I totally forgot.
197
00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:50,619
I have to go.
198
00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:51,783
Go where?
199
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:55,787
I have tennis practice.
200
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:56,891
Where's your racquet?
201
00:10:58,259 --> 00:10:59,760
I have to go.
202
00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:01,762
Hey, what about
your book report?
203
00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:32,793
Fuck, yeah, that's a kegger.
204
00:11:33,194 --> 00:11:34,159
Thanks, Luke.
205
00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:34,995
I owe you.
206
00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:35,794
Don't mention it.
207
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:37,095
What are big brothers for?
208
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:38,699
Hey, no charge to get in.
209
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:39,700
Be there.
210
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:40,799
I can't make it.
211
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,469
- Business.
- Boring.
212
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:44,705
You guys want some weed?
213
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:45,806
Molly wolly.
214
00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:47,274
How much are we talking?
215
00:11:47,308 --> 00:11:48,342
40 for a lid.
216
00:11:49,210 --> 00:11:51,212
Dude, all I got is five bucks.
217
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:52,880
What about you, little dude?
218
00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:54,715
You want some weed?
219
00:11:55,316 --> 00:11:56,685
I, uh.
220
00:11:58,219 --> 00:11:59,153
On me.
221
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:02,223
Uh, thank you.
222
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:04,358
Uh, what about me?
223
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:06,160
That's the last.
224
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:07,826
Hey, you guys share.
225
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,830
Give me some money
when you got some.
226
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,365
Better share, you fucker.
227
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:12,900
Be nice.
228
00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:15,000
Alright, Please share.
229
00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:16,036
That's better.
230
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:18,339
Catch you boys later.
231
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,208
Whatever. I don't like
weed anyway.
232
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:26,180
Yes, that's a wise
move there, Randy.
233
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:29,381
Man, how can anyone hate
pot, you know?
234
00:12:29,383 --> 00:12:31,018
It makes me,
235
00:12:31,519 --> 00:12:33,320
- weird.
- Weird?
236
00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:35,020
It's a little late for that.
237
00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:36,924
All right.
238
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,495
Uh, $5 kegs in the back.
239
00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:55,340
My party fuckers!
240
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:56,944
Give me the fucking beer!
241
00:13:04,385 --> 00:13:06,253
This party fucking sucks.
242
00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:10,525
Can I have a beer?
243
00:13:25,774 --> 00:13:26,974
I better go home.
244
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,475
It's a party.
245
00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:31,078
Gotta stay.
246
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:33,914
Don't make me sit on you.
247
00:13:37,251 --> 00:13:38,385
You know something?
248
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:41,055
You were my best friend.
249
00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:44,391
I'm such a fucker to
you, aren't I, Randy?
250
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,962
There's no bottom
to this shit, man.
251
00:13:50,799 --> 00:13:53,934
Who the fuck am I?
252
00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:57,971
Who the fuck are you guys to me?
253
00:13:59,073 --> 00:14:01,442
Who the fuck are you
guys to you?
254
00:14:02,610 --> 00:14:04,144
Little dandy Randy.
255
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,481
So I better shut up.
256
00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:53,360
I am so fucked up.
257
00:15:23,157 --> 00:15:25,660
Randy? Is that you?
258
00:15:27,428 --> 00:15:28,530
Yeah.
259
00:15:29,898 --> 00:15:31,365
How was the party?
260
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:34,034
Okay.
261
00:15:34,702 --> 00:15:36,236
Is everything all right?
262
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:40,374
Yeah.
263
00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:43,678
Did you tell your father
to turn down the TV?
264
00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:46,514
- Okay.
- Good night.
265
00:15:46,581 --> 00:15:47,948
Okay.
266
00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:36,564
-What?
- Good morning.
267
00:16:37,632 --> 00:16:39,966
I bet you have a
really bad hangover.
268
00:16:39,968 --> 00:16:40,900
Oh, God.
269
00:16:40,902 --> 00:16:43,268
I heard Mark had a
kegger party last night.
270
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:44,469
Yeah. So what?
271
00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:48,342
So Randy's got a hangover.
272
00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:49,107
Stop.
273
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,776
Anne leave your brother alone.
274
00:16:50,778 --> 00:16:52,512
You're lucky she thinks
you're a goody goody.
275
00:16:52,514 --> 00:16:54,279
Please stop.
276
00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:57,517
So, was it like a makeout party?
277
00:16:57,519 --> 00:16:59,585
Like, did you kiss anyone?
278
00:16:59,587 --> 00:17:01,121
Why would I tell you?
279
00:17:01,623 --> 00:17:03,623
Oh, my God, you did!
280
00:17:03,625 --> 00:17:05,090
You kissed someone!
281
00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:06,024
What's her name?
282
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:06,759
Do I know her?
283
00:17:06,761 --> 00:17:08,326
I could see if she likes you.
284
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:09,662
Was it Donna?
285
00:17:09,664 --> 00:17:11,633
I bet it was Donna.
286
00:17:13,768 --> 00:17:15,635
I can seriously help you out.
287
00:17:15,637 --> 00:17:17,805
I'm really good at this stuff.
288
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:19,306
Who's Donna?
289
00:17:20,642 --> 00:17:26,213
Oh, my God, you are such
a dorky, celibate priest.
290
00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:42,396
Mom.
291
00:17:50,638 --> 00:17:51,739
Can I ask you a question?
292
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,238
Mhm.
293
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:59,210
So if, um, Darwin was right,
does that mean that Genesis is
294
00:17:59,212 --> 00:17:59,847
a myth?
295
00:18:00,748 --> 00:18:04,184
No. Genesis is in the Bible.
296
00:18:04,586 --> 00:18:06,353
Those are two separate things.
297
00:18:08,690 --> 00:18:10,324
Who told you it was a myth?
298
00:18:11,526 --> 00:18:12,527
No one told me that.
299
00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:15,093
I don't know. Nevermind.
300
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,064
I just, uh.
301
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:17,097
Yeah.
302
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,368
Excuse me.
303
00:18:24,672 --> 00:18:27,172
Frank. You're getting
grease on the broccoli.
304
00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:28,676
It'll wash off.
305
00:18:28,710 --> 00:18:30,444
Am I right, Randy?
306
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:36,549
I need you to help
me out in the garage.
307
00:18:36,551 --> 00:18:37,384
Okay?
308
00:18:37,885 --> 00:18:38,853
I um.
309
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:40,886
I got a midterm, so I.
310
00:18:40,888 --> 00:18:42,387
Frank he's got homework.
311
00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:44,356
Yeah. These cars aren't
gonna fix themselves.
312
00:18:44,358 --> 00:18:46,124
I'm trying to teach
the kid something.
313
00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:47,127
Come on!
314
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:48,696
Hup two soldier!
315
00:18:55,803 --> 00:18:56,738
Sorry.
316
00:18:58,138 --> 00:18:58,873
Fuck.
317
00:19:04,579 --> 00:19:05,613
Light.
318
00:19:06,581 --> 00:19:07,481
Sorry.
319
00:19:09,751 --> 00:19:11,619
- Dad.
- What?
320
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:14,454
Can I, uh,
321
00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:17,257
borrow the station
wagon next weekend?
322
00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:18,225
Ah!
323
00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:21,294
Damn it!
324
00:19:31,639 --> 00:19:33,473
- What?
- Can I use the phone.
325
00:19:33,808 --> 00:19:35,442
What's in it for me?
326
00:19:36,678 --> 00:19:38,577
We're supposed to share.
327
00:19:38,579 --> 00:19:39,647
Remember?
328
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:47,452
Ten minutes.
329
00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:48,790
Yeah, right.
330
00:19:52,794 --> 00:19:55,830
So we didn't make any money.
331
00:19:56,931 --> 00:19:58,298
Cut it out, Anne.
332
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:03,803
Sorry. Anne's just
being a bitch.
333
00:20:03,805 --> 00:20:07,374
Man, she's looking so
fine these days.
334
00:20:07,809 --> 00:20:09,340
Oh, dude.
335
00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:10,678
Gross.
336
00:20:11,278 --> 00:20:12,714
You have no idea.
337
00:20:12,847 --> 00:20:14,682
You ask your dad about
the station wagon?
338
00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:19,453
Not yet.
339
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,556
I will do it.
340
00:20:22,523 --> 00:20:24,692
Okay. It just has to
be perfect timing.
341
00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:27,494
So what's Samson's plan.
342
00:20:27,695 --> 00:20:28,994
He said he'd pay for us.
343
00:20:28,996 --> 00:20:31,231
We just got to make
all his deliveries.
344
00:20:31,866 --> 00:20:33,300
Deliveries?
345
00:20:45,513 --> 00:20:47,915
Well. Hello there.
346
00:20:48,015 --> 00:20:50,685
Hi. Uh, I'm, um.
347
00:20:50,852 --> 00:20:55,721
Randy. I'm here to complete
a delivery for Famway,
348
00:20:55,723 --> 00:20:57,923
delivery for, uh, Sampson Swift.
349
00:20:57,925 --> 00:21:00,360
Lillian, come here quick.
350
00:21:00,561 --> 00:21:03,495
It's just the cutest thing ever.
351
00:21:03,497 --> 00:21:05,231
I'm watching my show.
352
00:21:05,233 --> 00:21:09,334
There's a big load
of Famway soap here.
353
00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:10,905
Oh, is it Sampson?
354
00:21:11,005 --> 00:21:13,674
One of his minions.
355
00:21:13,775 --> 00:21:15,710
Is he pretty too?
356
00:21:15,743 --> 00:21:16,778
I don't know.
357
00:21:17,612 --> 00:21:21,015
Are you pretty?
Little kitty cat.
358
00:21:21,883 --> 00:21:24,552
Meow.
359
00:21:30,725 --> 00:21:31,893
Good work.
360
00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:38,599
Mr. Parker, your ship
is sinking.
361
00:21:43,571 --> 00:21:44,737
I heard at the.
362
00:21:44,739 --> 00:21:47,640
PTA meeting that the kids these
days are drinking beer and
363
00:21:47,642 --> 00:21:50,810
smoking pot and whatnot, and I
am not going to let that happen
364
00:21:50,812 --> 00:21:51,944
to my little teddy bear.
365
00:21:51,946 --> 00:21:53,413
So,
366
00:21:53,915 --> 00:21:56,483
some of the guys are going
backpacking next week.
367
00:21:57,919 --> 00:21:59,352
Do you think I could go?
368
00:21:59,587 --> 00:22:00,788
Yeah, I suppose.
369
00:22:01,589 --> 00:22:02,657
Just be careful.
370
00:22:05,059 --> 00:22:06,892
Think we could
take the station wagon?
371
00:22:06,894 --> 00:22:08,963
You're gonna have to ask
your father about that.
372
00:22:09,429 --> 00:22:11,630
Yeah, but don't don't
ask him tonight.
373
00:22:11,632 --> 00:22:12,430
He's working late.
374
00:22:12,432 --> 00:22:13,433
You know how.
375
00:22:13,768 --> 00:22:14,635
Yeah.
376
00:22:15,903 --> 00:22:16,771
Speak of the devil.
377
00:22:17,605 --> 00:22:18,438
Here, here.
378
00:22:28,783 --> 00:22:29,684
Yes.
379
00:22:29,851 --> 00:22:30,852
Hello, Mary.
380
00:22:31,652 --> 00:22:33,321
Oh, Bill.
381
00:22:33,888 --> 00:22:34,920
I didn't recognize you.
382
00:22:34,922 --> 00:22:36,023
The uniform.
383
00:22:36,123 --> 00:22:36,989
Oh, I know.
384
00:22:36,991 --> 00:22:38,326
It makes me look taller.
385
00:22:38,693 --> 00:22:39,291
Please come in.
386
00:22:39,293 --> 00:22:40,695
Can I get you some coffee?
387
00:22:40,928 --> 00:22:41,796
No, thanks.
388
00:22:43,764 --> 00:22:44,999
Hey, Randy.
389
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:49,103
You remember Mr.
Barber from church?
390
00:22:49,537 --> 00:22:50,470
Hi.
391
00:22:52,472 --> 00:22:53,007
Can I speak to you?
392
00:22:54,008 --> 00:22:55,475
Randy, go to your room.
393
00:22:56,777 --> 00:22:57,810
But our show is not over yet.
394
00:22:57,812 --> 00:22:58,980
Now.
395
00:23:02,650 --> 00:23:03,182
One second.
396
00:23:03,184 --> 00:23:04,819
Thank you, thank you.
397
00:23:05,485 --> 00:23:06,486
Mhm.
398
00:23:08,022 --> 00:23:12,159
Uh, sorry to bother
you this time.
399
00:23:12,492 --> 00:23:18,163
Um, we had a run in with
Frank earlier, and he's okay.
400
00:23:18,165 --> 00:23:19,497
He just.
401
00:23:19,499 --> 00:23:22,001
He thought tonight would be
a good night to go swimming.
402
00:23:22,003 --> 00:23:27,675
And he went down at the
condominiums on fourth, and
403
00:23:27,909 --> 00:23:31,411
several condo tenants saw him
running around the pool area.
404
00:23:33,648 --> 00:23:34,682
Naked.
405
00:23:36,817 --> 00:23:38,185
He had a.
406
00:23:40,388 --> 00:23:41,656
Had an erection.
407
00:23:42,590 --> 00:23:44,657
And there was a four year old
408
00:23:44,659 --> 00:23:47,028
girl involved who
may need counseling.
409
00:23:50,531 --> 00:23:53,899
Apparently he parked in a red
zone and taken off his clothes
410
00:23:53,901 --> 00:23:55,034
and left him in the car.
411
00:23:55,036 --> 00:23:59,907
The vehicle was towed while
he was swimming, and, uh.
412
00:24:00,107 --> 00:24:02,041
Well, we found him an hour
413
00:24:02,043 --> 00:24:06,180
later, just hiding
in a dumpster.
414
00:24:06,714 --> 00:24:08,115
Oh my God.
415
00:24:09,183 --> 00:24:13,953
No. I pulled a couple strings,
and I got him outside in the
416
00:24:13,955 --> 00:24:14,956
squad car.
417
00:24:16,891 --> 00:24:17,858
Oh.
418
00:24:19,126 --> 00:24:23,431
Do you have a robe or something?
419
00:24:24,031 --> 00:24:25,599
Uh, yeah. Of course.
420
00:24:26,701 --> 00:24:27,702
Of course.
421
00:24:36,577 --> 00:24:37,209
Will this do?
422
00:24:37,211 --> 00:24:38,478
Yes, yes.
423
00:24:38,779 --> 00:24:39,714
Thank you.
424
00:24:59,967 --> 00:25:02,470
Now we need to hold on
to your driver's license.
425
00:25:02,570 --> 00:25:04,003
And the vehicle will remain
426
00:25:04,005 --> 00:25:06,105
impounded until you
talk to a judge.
427
00:25:06,107 --> 00:25:06,607
Yeah.
428
00:25:08,142 --> 00:25:09,276
What is that smell?
429
00:25:09,844 --> 00:25:11,178
I'm taking a shower.
430
00:25:15,483 --> 00:25:16,484
Move.
431
00:25:24,492 --> 00:25:25,190
Uh.
432
00:25:25,192 --> 00:25:26,091
Thank you.
433
00:25:26,093 --> 00:25:26,961
Yeah, yeah no problem.
434
00:25:27,261 --> 00:25:27,793
Yep.
435
00:25:27,795 --> 00:25:28,761
Good night.
436
00:25:28,763 --> 00:25:29,530
Thank you.
437
00:25:35,703 --> 00:25:36,804
You know how when
438
00:25:36,871 --> 00:25:40,973
something really freaky
happens, you kind of space out
439
00:25:40,975 --> 00:25:42,708
and think about
stupid, normal stuff?
440
00:25:42,710 --> 00:25:44,977
Like that girl with the
umbrella on the salt box.
441
00:25:44,979 --> 00:25:47,546
And on that box, there's a girl
with an umbrella holding a box
442
00:25:47,548 --> 00:25:49,650
of salt. And it just, you know,
kind of keeps going.
443
00:25:49,817 --> 00:25:52,521
Like mirrors in a barber shop.
444
00:26:01,295 --> 00:26:03,164
God damn it, Randy.
445
00:26:04,131 --> 00:26:05,164
Fucked up again, man.
446
00:26:05,166 --> 00:26:06,565
What the fuck do you mean?
447
00:26:06,567 --> 00:26:07,536
What am I supposed to do?
448
00:26:07,601 --> 00:26:11,538
My dad, he says there's
something wrong with the
449
00:26:11,540 --> 00:26:12,838
transmission or something.
450
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,640
Well, how long is
that gonna take?
451
00:26:14,642 --> 00:26:15,843
You know my dad.
452
00:26:16,577 --> 00:26:18,312
Hey, look, it's Sampson.
453
00:26:19,548 --> 00:26:20,748
He'll know what to do.
454
00:26:20,848 --> 00:26:22,551
Oh praise God!
455
00:26:25,586 --> 00:26:26,685
What's going on, dudes?
456
00:26:26,687 --> 00:26:27,988
We're fucked man.
457
00:26:28,022 --> 00:26:31,192
Randy here doesn't
got the transpo.
458
00:26:31,358 --> 00:26:32,024
Oh, shit.
459
00:26:32,026 --> 00:26:32,991
It's just my dad.
460
00:26:32,993 --> 00:26:35,562
Okay. He's literally
taking the car apart.
461
00:26:35,564 --> 00:26:37,198
It's just in pieces
in the garage.
462
00:26:38,332 --> 00:26:39,064
All right, you know what?
463
00:26:39,066 --> 00:26:40,165
Say no more my boys.
464
00:26:40,167 --> 00:26:42,167
Okay. All problems
have a solution.
465
00:26:42,169 --> 00:26:43,368
Did he just call us his boys?
466
00:26:43,370 --> 00:26:45,704
So, plan B.
467
00:26:45,706 --> 00:26:49,208
Let's do some positive
visualization, okay.
468
00:26:49,210 --> 00:26:51,578
Power of positive thinking.
469
00:26:51,580 --> 00:26:52,713
Anybody ever read that?
470
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:53,546
You should read that.
471
00:26:53,548 --> 00:26:55,049
Adam, you look kind of smart.
472
00:26:55,116 --> 00:26:55,916
Um.
473
00:26:56,183 --> 00:26:57,718
Noted, man. Yeah.
474
00:26:57,785 --> 00:27:00,953
You visualize what you
want, and God coughs it up.
475
00:27:00,955 --> 00:27:02,589
I mean, it's fucking beautiful.
476
00:27:02,591 --> 00:27:03,889
I'm down to give it a try, man.
477
00:27:03,891 --> 00:27:06,091
Like, what do we think
about a car or something?
478
00:27:06,093 --> 00:27:09,294
No, what? Pussy.
479
00:27:09,296 --> 00:27:10,963
Oh, fuck yeah.
480
00:27:10,965 --> 00:27:12,231
Dude, this is stupid. Alright.
481
00:27:12,233 --> 00:27:13,031
You got a better idea?
482
00:27:13,033 --> 00:27:15,734
No, but, look,
forget the God shit.
483
00:27:15,736 --> 00:27:16,702
How about that?
484
00:27:16,704 --> 00:27:17,870
Hey, you want to bang
pussy or not, Adam.
485
00:27:17,872 --> 00:27:18,939
Of course.
486
00:27:19,206 --> 00:27:20,274
That's what I thought.
487
00:27:20,374 --> 00:27:24,076
So when I say go, I want
everybody to think as hard as
488
00:27:24,078 --> 00:27:25,612
they can, okay?
489
00:27:25,614 --> 00:27:26,712
And no laughing.
490
00:27:26,714 --> 00:27:27,279
No talking.
491
00:27:27,281 --> 00:27:28,716
None of that bullshit.
492
00:27:29,316 --> 00:27:30,117
All right.
493
00:27:30,317 --> 00:27:31,085
All right.
494
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:33,087
Ready?
495
00:27:34,121 --> 00:27:35,089
Go.
496
00:27:42,930 --> 00:27:43,395
Oh.
497
00:27:44,331 --> 00:27:45,898
- Dude!
- Dude!
498
00:27:45,900 --> 00:27:46,967
You fucker!
499
00:27:47,768 --> 00:27:50,269
I'm gonna fuck you a new
asshole and plug those farts.
500
00:27:50,271 --> 00:27:52,771
Are you ready to get
fucked by the Sampsonator?
501
00:27:52,773 --> 00:27:54,275
Sampson stop it bro!
502
00:27:55,676 --> 00:27:56,609
- You ready?
- No, bro.
503
00:27:56,611 --> 00:27:57,809
- You ready for it?
- Get off of me bro.
504
00:27:57,811 --> 00:27:59,311
You think of your mom
while I'm doing this.
505
00:28:00,681 --> 00:28:01,648
Oh my God, bro.
506
00:28:01,650 --> 00:28:02,783
What the fuck, bro?
507
00:28:02,917 --> 00:28:05,152
Oh, not funny bro. Not funny.
508
00:28:12,026 --> 00:28:16,297
Hey, you Trojan fans, let
me see you clap your hands.
509
00:28:23,804 --> 00:28:26,038
Hey, you Trojan fans.
510
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:28,375
Let me see you clap your hands.
511
00:28:50,831 --> 00:28:51,999
Getting ready for your trip?
512
00:28:52,233 --> 00:28:57,338
Kinda. But we, uh,
do still need a car.
513
00:29:00,508 --> 00:29:02,176
About the other night.
514
00:29:03,811 --> 00:29:07,212
Your father's been under a lot
of stress at work, and, well,
515
00:29:07,214 --> 00:29:09,848
you know how you boys used to
go skinny dipping on those hot
516
00:29:09,850 --> 00:29:10,884
summer nights?
517
00:29:10,951 --> 00:29:14,353
Well, your father was
feeling hot and tired, and.
518
00:29:14,355 --> 00:29:15,990
He didn't think.
519
00:29:16,190 --> 00:29:18,993
And he went skinny dipping
in someone else's pool.
520
00:29:21,195 --> 00:29:24,064
And of course, the
police overreacted.
521
00:29:25,399 --> 00:29:27,434
It's a big misunderstanding.
522
00:29:32,373 --> 00:29:35,541
He's taking a few weeks off
from work, and he's agreed to
523
00:29:35,543 --> 00:29:39,046
go talk to a nice
man about things.
524
00:29:41,048 --> 00:29:42,449
You understand?
525
00:29:44,885 --> 00:29:47,119
And not that it's a big deal
and all, but don't go telling
526
00:29:47,121 --> 00:29:48,289
Adam or Mark.
527
00:29:51,058 --> 00:29:52,092
That's all.
528
00:29:57,197 --> 00:29:58,030
Hey, mom.
529
00:29:58,032 --> 00:29:59,199
Yes.
530
00:29:59,266 --> 00:30:02,434
Have you, uh, seen my
sleeping bag at all?
531
00:30:02,436 --> 00:30:04,238
It's not in your closet.
532
00:30:04,405 --> 00:30:05,306
No.
533
00:30:06,775 --> 00:30:08,275
Why don't you go
ask your father?
534
00:30:23,424 --> 00:30:24,289
I'm going to Adam's.
535
00:30:24,291 --> 00:30:25,424
Dinner's at seven.
536
00:30:25,426 --> 00:30:26,091
Okay.
537
00:30:26,093 --> 00:30:27,059
Did you find your sleeping bag?
538
00:30:27,061 --> 00:30:27,593
No.
539
00:30:27,595 --> 00:30:29,263
Did you ask your father?
540
00:30:34,501 --> 00:30:35,836
Randy.
541
00:30:44,912 --> 00:30:45,913
Yeah.
542
00:30:48,315 --> 00:30:49,483
I, uh.
543
00:30:50,918 --> 00:30:53,454
I fixed that sticky
gearshift on your bike.
544
00:30:55,456 --> 00:30:56,457
Oh.
545
00:30:58,325 --> 00:30:59,460
Okay.
546
00:31:00,260 --> 00:31:02,129
So what do you say?
547
00:31:04,031 --> 00:31:05,265
Want to check her out?
548
00:31:05,633 --> 00:31:07,501
I really gotta run.
549
00:31:07,635 --> 00:31:08,603
Yeah.
550
00:31:13,207 --> 00:31:15,175
But, uh maybe later.
551
00:31:15,275 --> 00:31:16,110
Sure.
552
00:31:25,653 --> 00:31:26,318
Hey.
553
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:27,052
Hey. What's up?
554
00:31:27,054 --> 00:31:27,986
I don't know.
555
00:31:27,988 --> 00:31:29,020
You okay?
556
00:31:29,022 --> 00:31:31,291
Sure. Do you have a
sleeping bag I could borrow?
557
00:31:33,060 --> 00:31:34,627
It's goose down from Ray, so
558
00:31:34,629 --> 00:31:36,163
maybe, you know,
don't pee in it.
559
00:31:36,564 --> 00:31:38,063
I won't.
560
00:31:38,065 --> 00:31:40,165
- Kidding.
- Oh.
561
00:31:41,335 --> 00:31:43,468
So I hear you going to a
whorehouse with your buddies.
562
00:31:43,470 --> 00:31:46,371
What? No. Who
said that?
563
00:31:46,373 --> 00:31:48,541
Uh, that friend of yours, Mark.
564
00:31:48,543 --> 00:31:50,308
He told everyone
in the cafeteria.
565
00:31:50,310 --> 00:31:53,011
Okay well, first of all,
Mark is crazy. So there.
566
00:31:53,013 --> 00:31:53,914
Mhm.
567
00:31:53,981 --> 00:31:56,081
Me and Adam are just
gonna go backpacking.
568
00:31:56,083 --> 00:31:56,649
That's it.
569
00:31:56,651 --> 00:31:57,583
Really?
570
00:31:57,585 --> 00:32:00,187
- Really.
- Really?
571
00:32:00,588 --> 00:32:02,154
I'm serious.
572
00:32:02,156 --> 00:32:02,891
Okay.
573
00:32:03,023 --> 00:32:04,222
I'm not kidding.
574
00:32:04,224 --> 00:32:05,325
Okay.
575
00:32:05,894 --> 00:32:07,359
- I swear to God.
- I'm a Buddhist.
576
00:32:07,361 --> 00:32:08,530
I swear to Buddhist.
577
00:32:09,531 --> 00:32:10,931
So.
578
00:32:12,700 --> 00:32:14,201
Maybe, like.
579
00:32:15,202 --> 00:32:16,336
Don't go.
580
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:28,048
Oh, yeah. If I.
581
00:32:29,383 --> 00:32:30,516
We should try sitting down.
582
00:32:30,518 --> 00:32:31,216
Right? Yeah.
583
00:32:31,218 --> 00:32:31,617
Oh, yeah yeah.
584
00:32:31,619 --> 00:32:32,451
Yeah yeah, yeah.
585
00:32:32,453 --> 00:32:33,387
No, sit here, sit here.
586
00:32:34,556 --> 00:32:35,456
I can just.
587
00:32:36,390 --> 00:32:37,291
Come in now.
588
00:32:44,064 --> 00:32:44,630
What? What's wrong?
589
00:32:44,632 --> 00:32:45,865
What am I?
590
00:32:45,867 --> 00:32:48,066
Uh, I just remembered I have
to cook my dad dinner before he
591
00:32:48,068 --> 00:32:49,102
passes out.
592
00:32:51,138 --> 00:32:52,039
Oh, yeah.
593
00:32:53,541 --> 00:32:54,576
Yeah for sure.
594
00:32:54,609 --> 00:32:55,108
Sorry.
595
00:32:55,577 --> 00:32:57,211
No, it's, it's okay.
596
00:32:57,411 --> 00:32:59,614
Sorry, I wasn't better at it.
597
00:33:02,316 --> 00:33:03,583
- So yeah.
- I'll go, I'll go.
598
00:33:03,585 --> 00:33:05,618
Sorry. Can I keep this?
599
00:33:05,620 --> 00:33:06,384
Yeah. Of course.
600
00:33:06,386 --> 00:33:06,754
Yeah.
601
00:33:08,088 --> 00:33:09,089
Won't pee in it.
602
00:33:22,504 --> 00:33:23,470
Hey, you.
603
00:33:24,304 --> 00:33:26,104
- Hello.
- Hello?
604
00:33:26,106 --> 00:33:27,742
Gee, he's so formal.
605
00:33:31,679 --> 00:33:33,347
So, how's the book report going?
606
00:33:36,283 --> 00:33:39,453
Randy, let's just
be friends, okay?
607
00:33:39,587 --> 00:33:41,689
- Okay.
- Cool.
608
00:33:42,289 --> 00:33:44,022
Cause I know it could
be, like, weird and all.
609
00:33:44,024 --> 00:33:46,424
Kissing a black girl, and
610
00:33:46,426 --> 00:33:49,294
you're so fucking like
Richie Cunningham.
611
00:33:49,296 --> 00:33:50,195
What?
612
00:33:50,197 --> 00:33:51,597
No. I'm not.
613
00:33:51,599 --> 00:33:54,700
I mean, I'm not like prejudice.
614
00:33:54,702 --> 00:33:56,136
You know, I'm.
615
00:33:56,470 --> 00:33:57,770
I mean, I watched
The Jeffersons.
616
00:33:57,772 --> 00:33:59,641
I'm definitely not prejudice.
617
00:34:00,307 --> 00:34:02,508
Yeah, that's fucking hilarious.
618
00:34:02,510 --> 00:34:03,676
- I wasn't saying.
- Hey, dude.
619
00:34:03,678 --> 00:34:05,310
Kitty ranch.
620
00:34:05,312 --> 00:34:07,045
I'm in the middle of
something right now.
621
00:34:07,047 --> 00:34:09,515
Bro Sampson's brother,
he gave us his wheels.
622
00:34:09,517 --> 00:34:10,816
It's an El Dorado.
623
00:34:10,818 --> 00:34:12,486
It's called the Black Beast.
624
00:34:13,021 --> 00:34:16,388
I have a class
that I can't skip.
625
00:34:16,390 --> 00:34:17,559
Ditch it.
626
00:34:19,226 --> 00:34:20,394
Yo, Adam.
627
00:34:23,297 --> 00:34:24,364
What?
628
00:34:25,332 --> 00:34:28,168
Nothing. Have fun on your trip.
629
00:34:49,256 --> 00:34:50,257
Luke.
630
00:34:52,392 --> 00:34:53,427
I hear music.
631
00:34:54,062 --> 00:34:55,193
Just open the fucking door.
632
00:34:55,195 --> 00:34:56,762
You can't just open
the fucking door.
633
00:34:56,764 --> 00:34:57,732
He's got a gun.
634
00:35:02,169 --> 00:35:03,203
Hey.
635
00:35:03,538 --> 00:35:04,606
You okay?
636
00:35:07,075 --> 00:35:08,208
Shamzie.
637
00:35:10,511 --> 00:35:12,412
I'm flying on a spaceship.
638
00:35:12,547 --> 00:35:14,446
We're headed to Mars.
639
00:35:14,448 --> 00:35:16,584
Me and my alien bride.
640
00:35:17,217 --> 00:35:19,687
Little dude, look
at your hair, man.
641
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:21,856
It's dancing in the wind.
642
00:35:23,357 --> 00:35:24,592
Hi hairs.
643
00:35:24,859 --> 00:35:26,592
Hey, man, we need
the black beast.
644
00:35:26,594 --> 00:35:27,629
Remember.
645
00:35:27,795 --> 00:35:28,894
Take everything.
646
00:35:28,896 --> 00:35:29,795
Have it all.
647
00:35:29,797 --> 00:35:31,566
Life is beautiful, man.
648
00:35:32,299 --> 00:35:34,634
Um. Keys.
649
00:35:34,636 --> 00:35:36,234
No. No keys.
650
00:35:36,236 --> 00:35:37,603
Keys, keys are
meaningless, man.
651
00:35:37,605 --> 00:35:39,404
Keys are a trap.
652
00:35:39,406 --> 00:35:43,375
Watergate. And the
underground tunnel in Alameda.
653
00:35:43,377 --> 00:35:45,479
Talk about Bigfoot.
654
00:35:46,213 --> 00:35:47,381
Keys.
655
00:35:48,215 --> 00:35:49,147
Hang on, guys.
656
00:35:49,149 --> 00:35:50,818
Try my jeans, man.
657
00:35:50,918 --> 00:35:51,919
Hot tub.
658
00:35:54,922 --> 00:35:57,125
Okay, little ones,
listen to this.
659
00:35:59,127 --> 00:36:00,327
Boys. Gather round.
660
00:36:00,895 --> 00:36:03,129
I've been thinking
about this all day long.
661
00:36:03,131 --> 00:36:03,731
It's just.
662
00:36:08,136 --> 00:36:11,771
I Luke, wild and freaky.
663
00:36:11,773 --> 00:36:13,271
I got you the grog.
664
00:36:13,273 --> 00:36:13,906
The keg.
665
00:36:13,908 --> 00:36:15,407
Right. But that failed you.
666
00:36:15,409 --> 00:36:17,475
Because, kids, they
suck at parties.
667
00:36:17,477 --> 00:36:19,177
It's okay. It's not your fault.
668
00:36:19,179 --> 00:36:22,280
But the soap and the
soap related products.
669
00:36:22,282 --> 00:36:23,683
Famway.
670
00:36:23,685 --> 00:36:25,483
Boom! Famway.
671
00:36:25,485 --> 00:36:28,321
Which he sold to those
little old ladies.
672
00:36:28,656 --> 00:36:30,188
It gave you the golden ticket.
673
00:36:30,190 --> 00:36:32,192
Hey, I can't find your keys.
674
00:36:35,697 --> 00:36:40,432
I now offer you my bitchin
wheels to procure your glorious
675
00:36:40,434 --> 00:36:46,639
whore pussy waiting wet for
your hard, untouched cocks.
676
00:36:46,641 --> 00:36:50,845
In this moment, I'm the most
important person in your lives.
677
00:36:50,945 --> 00:36:53,781
And you'll always remember me.
678
00:36:54,214 --> 00:36:55,717
Especially you, my pretty.
679
00:36:57,317 --> 00:37:00,653
Oh, dude, that's so foul.
680
00:37:00,655 --> 00:37:02,322
So always.
681
00:37:02,355 --> 00:37:05,323
always keep your eyes open.
682
00:37:05,325 --> 00:37:07,494
So let the rain fall down.
683
00:37:07,729 --> 00:37:10,363
And let it soak
up your sunshine.
684
00:37:11,231 --> 00:37:12,734
- Dude.
- Oh, yeah.
685
00:37:16,369 --> 00:37:17,503
Yes!
686
00:37:17,505 --> 00:37:21,642
Hey, always remember it was me
that gave you the keys.
687
00:37:24,645 --> 00:37:25,813
Whatever that means.
688
00:37:30,885 --> 00:37:31,853
Later, little dude.
689
00:38:11,559 --> 00:38:13,561
Oh, okay. Does anybody even
see anything?
690
00:38:17,932 --> 00:38:18,866
There, there.
691
00:38:24,906 --> 00:38:26,071
This is weird.
692
00:38:37,585 --> 00:38:39,319
What the fuck is this?
693
00:38:39,787 --> 00:38:41,289
It's just a,
694
00:38:42,322 --> 00:38:43,490
house.
695
00:38:43,991 --> 00:38:45,726
A weird house.
696
00:38:45,893 --> 00:38:49,327
That was at least expecting,
like a mansion or like, above a
697
00:38:49,329 --> 00:38:50,428
saloon or something.
698
00:38:50,430 --> 00:38:51,599
Like in Westworld.
699
00:38:51,799 --> 00:38:53,400
- It's a good movie.
- Yeah, it is.
700
00:38:53,768 --> 00:38:55,837
I'd love to fuck a lady robot.
701
00:38:57,605 --> 00:38:59,507
It would feel so utopic.
702
00:39:00,608 --> 00:39:01,742
Guys look.
703
00:39:13,353 --> 00:39:15,623
Come on, fuckers, let's go.
704
00:39:16,123 --> 00:39:17,424
You first.
705
00:39:17,792 --> 00:39:18,860
I'll go with you.
706
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:19,959
Okay. Me too.
707
00:39:19,961 --> 00:39:21,093
Shit! Then I'm coming.
708
00:39:21,095 --> 00:39:22,163
Guys.
709
00:39:22,630 --> 00:39:25,132
We can't all go at
the same fucking time.
710
00:39:25,365 --> 00:39:26,466
Why not?
711
00:39:27,034 --> 00:39:28,433
It would look suspicious.
712
00:39:28,435 --> 00:39:30,638
- Yeah.
- Of what?
713
00:39:30,805 --> 00:39:32,137
Like we're fucking kids.
714
00:39:32,139 --> 00:39:33,305
Like we don't know anything.
715
00:39:33,307 --> 00:39:36,609
All right, guys, listen,
we'll tag team it, okay?
716
00:39:36,611 --> 00:39:37,776
Me and Mark will go first.
717
00:39:37,778 --> 00:39:39,377
And you and Randy
just stay here.
718
00:39:39,379 --> 00:39:41,048
You know, just in case.
719
00:39:41,616 --> 00:39:42,617
Sounds good.
720
00:39:47,121 --> 00:39:50,057
Well, let's fucking get laid.
721
00:39:53,861 --> 00:39:56,461
It looks like you boys will
be getting my sloppy seconds.
722
00:39:56,463 --> 00:39:57,064
Mark.
723
00:39:57,397 --> 00:39:58,165
What's up bro?
724
00:40:08,976 --> 00:40:10,011
That's it.
725
00:40:10,645 --> 00:40:11,679
They're inside.
726
00:40:21,555 --> 00:40:22,453
Your turn.
727
00:40:22,455 --> 00:40:23,055
So how was it?
728
00:40:23,057 --> 00:40:24,023
Oh, it was fucking great.
729
00:40:24,025 --> 00:40:25,858
- Any problems?
- No sweat.
730
00:40:25,860 --> 00:40:28,527
So you just go in there and.
731
00:40:28,529 --> 00:40:29,730
Just go inside, you'll see.
732
00:40:30,698 --> 00:40:32,031
- Shouldn't we wait for Mark.
- Just go in.
733
00:40:32,033 --> 00:40:33,198
Jesus. Come on.
734
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:34,869
I thought we were
supposed to tag team it.
735
00:40:34,936 --> 00:40:37,071
Oh, show me some skin.
736
00:40:39,941 --> 00:40:42,176
Now get in there,
boys. Let's go.
737
00:40:43,878 --> 00:40:44,712
You got this.
738
00:40:44,845 --> 00:40:45,880
It's gonna be fun.
739
00:40:45,913 --> 00:40:46,948
It's a great time.
740
00:41:23,818 --> 00:41:25,086
I'm cool.
741
00:41:28,689 --> 00:41:29,890
Cold as ice.
742
00:41:33,461 --> 00:41:35,730
That was weird.
743
00:41:36,163 --> 00:41:36,829
What do you.
744
00:41:36,831 --> 00:41:38,599
What do you mean it was weird?
745
00:41:39,499 --> 00:41:40,601
I'll tell you later.
746
00:41:43,938 --> 00:41:44,939
You okay?
747
00:41:45,673 --> 00:41:47,773
Yeah. Never mind.
748
00:41:47,775 --> 00:41:48,976
It is what it is.
749
00:41:49,744 --> 00:41:50,644
How was yours.
750
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:54,815
It was great.
751
00:41:54,949 --> 00:41:57,916
I mean, like, better
than your hand.
752
00:41:58,686 --> 00:42:01,253
Not your hand.
753
00:42:01,255 --> 00:42:02,121
My hand.
754
00:42:02,123 --> 00:42:02,790
I.
755
00:42:04,792 --> 00:42:06,527
Now there's an endorsement.
756
00:42:09,497 --> 00:42:10,164
For sure.
757
00:42:10,698 --> 00:42:11,830
Let's get the fuck out of here.
758
00:42:11,832 --> 00:42:12,633
Yep.
759
00:42:29,150 --> 00:42:30,949
So I picked the finest one, and
760
00:42:30,951 --> 00:42:32,987
I started smooth
talking her and shit.
761
00:42:33,621 --> 00:42:36,989
And then I get her to the room,
man, and I just start fucking
762
00:42:36,991 --> 00:42:37,656
her, man.
763
00:42:37,658 --> 00:42:39,126
Oh my God.
764
00:42:42,563 --> 00:42:43,330
Ow.
765
00:42:44,065 --> 00:42:44,999
Ow.
766
00:42:46,700 --> 00:42:48,669
- Stop!
- Oh, shit.
767
00:42:49,538 --> 00:42:50,537
I'm sorry.
768
00:42:50,539 --> 00:42:51,837
You're just too big for me.
769
00:42:51,839 --> 00:42:53,974
What the fuck?
770
00:42:54,341 --> 00:42:55,007
Stand up.
771
00:42:55,009 --> 00:42:56,008
Let me jerk you off.
772
00:42:56,010 --> 00:42:57,078
Fuck, yeah.
773
00:43:00,247 --> 00:43:01,982
Got a nice big dick.
774
00:43:02,583 --> 00:43:05,853
Oh, yeah, but you're
smoking and stroking.
775
00:43:07,088 --> 00:43:09,190
Oh, you should do porn.
776
00:43:09,590 --> 00:43:11,659
- Really?
- Yeah.
777
00:43:12,026 --> 00:43:13,861
Big money's in gay porn.
778
00:43:14,061 --> 00:43:15,262
Big money.
779
00:43:16,263 --> 00:43:18,565
She must have come,
like, 3 or 4 times.
780
00:43:18,567 --> 00:43:19,834
- Damn.
- Wow.
781
00:43:20,167 --> 00:43:22,336
So, uh, Adam.
782
00:43:23,704 --> 00:43:24,772
How was it?
783
00:43:25,339 --> 00:43:26,205
Shit, man.
784
00:43:26,207 --> 00:43:27,873
I did just like Mark, right?
785
00:43:27,875 --> 00:43:29,108
I picked the finest girl.
786
00:43:29,110 --> 00:43:30,209
She was real cute.
787
00:43:30,211 --> 00:43:31,378
She was so cute.
788
00:43:31,712 --> 00:43:32,847
Like Linda Blair.
789
00:43:33,180 --> 00:43:34,782
Mother sucks cocks in hell.
790
00:43:37,751 --> 00:43:40,087
- Fuck.
- What's up honey?
791
00:43:40,187 --> 00:43:41,720
You got a problem?
792
00:43:41,722 --> 00:43:43,724
You ain't shooting
up or something.
793
00:43:44,258 --> 00:43:45,724
I'm so sorry.
794
00:43:45,726 --> 00:43:46,593
This isn't right.
795
00:43:46,595 --> 00:43:48,028
This is so fucked up.
796
00:43:48,062 --> 00:43:49,598
Are you okay?
797
00:43:50,364 --> 00:43:52,233
Do they ever let you leave?
798
00:43:52,766 --> 00:43:56,637
Oh, Lord, this is
some real bullshit.
799
00:43:57,238 --> 00:43:59,039
Do we have a problem here?
800
00:44:06,413 --> 00:44:08,981
And then I came
all over her face.
801
00:44:08,983 --> 00:44:09,882
It was great.
802
00:44:09,884 --> 00:44:12,084
You. You came on her face?
803
00:44:12,086 --> 00:44:12,784
Yeah.
804
00:44:12,786 --> 00:44:13,385
No you didn't.
805
00:44:13,387 --> 00:44:14,255
What the.
806
00:44:14,388 --> 00:44:15,956
She must have really liked me.
807
00:44:16,056 --> 00:44:16,722
Shit, man.
808
00:44:16,724 --> 00:44:18,292
They don't let anyone do that.
809
00:44:18,759 --> 00:44:19,727
At least not me.
810
00:44:19,793 --> 00:44:21,128
Hey, praise the Lord.
811
00:44:21,262 --> 00:44:24,098
Fuck, yes, praise the Lord.
812
00:44:25,933 --> 00:44:30,769
Well, uh, I hate to break it
to you guys, but I got you all
813
00:44:30,771 --> 00:44:33,240
beat because I fucked two
whores at the same time.
814
00:44:33,974 --> 00:44:35,107
All right, lift up your shirt.
815
00:44:35,109 --> 00:44:35,841
I'm gonna examine you.
816
00:44:35,843 --> 00:44:36,408
Okay?
817
00:44:36,410 --> 00:44:37,945
Yeah, I know, I know.
818
00:44:38,946 --> 00:44:40,848
Oh, you've been here before.
819
00:44:41,415 --> 00:44:43,184
Oh, yeah. I'm a pro.
820
00:44:43,284 --> 00:44:44,151
Okay.
821
00:44:45,753 --> 00:44:46,787
Did you just take a pee?
822
00:44:46,854 --> 00:44:47,788
Mhm.
823
00:44:48,923 --> 00:44:49,658
Okay.
824
00:44:54,795 --> 00:44:55,796
Oh, wait, wait.
825
00:44:56,096 --> 00:44:56,997
Let go, let go!
826
00:44:57,965 --> 00:45:00,034
Oh, fuck!
827
00:45:00,434 --> 00:45:03,204
Damn! It wasn't even hard.
828
00:45:05,806 --> 00:45:07,775
Oh, that was easy money.
829
00:45:09,376 --> 00:45:10,976
Give me five, dude.
830
00:45:10,978 --> 00:45:12,778
So righteous, Sampson.
831
00:45:12,780 --> 00:45:16,951
Okay, so, Randy, let's
hear about you, man.
832
00:45:18,986 --> 00:45:21,822
Uh, well, it was.
833
00:45:22,223 --> 00:45:24,156
I mean, it was
amazing, number one.
834
00:45:24,158 --> 00:45:27,962
Um, she was,
835
00:45:29,830 --> 00:45:31,298
really nice.
836
00:45:32,333 --> 00:45:33,500
Nice you said.
837
00:45:35,002 --> 00:45:37,404
You don't fuck nice, Randy.
838
00:45:37,838 --> 00:45:41,173
I know, I'm sorry, but I gotta
agree with Mark on this one.
839
00:45:41,175 --> 00:45:44,476
See, nice means, like, ugly as
fuck, and, well, you know, ugly
840
00:45:44,478 --> 00:45:46,378
means you gotta throw a paper
bag over her head and fuck her
841
00:45:46,380 --> 00:45:47,145
from behind.
842
00:45:47,147 --> 00:45:48,315
That's how it goes.
843
00:45:49,817 --> 00:45:50,851
Go on, Randy.
844
00:45:53,921 --> 00:45:55,022
Come on.
845
00:45:56,223 --> 00:45:58,492
Okay, so hold
this under your balls.
846
00:45:59,193 --> 00:46:00,194
Okay.
847
00:46:00,861 --> 00:46:02,830
You don't got no
diseases, do you?
848
00:46:03,264 --> 00:46:05,030
No, no, no, of course not.
849
00:46:05,032 --> 00:46:06,433
I am this.
850
00:46:06,834 --> 00:46:07,736
This is.
851
00:46:09,203 --> 00:46:10,104
Are you a virgin?
852
00:46:11,905 --> 00:46:12,873
Yeah.
853
00:46:14,842 --> 00:46:15,876
It's okay.
854
00:46:15,909 --> 00:46:16,410
Okay.
855
00:46:16,544 --> 00:46:17,945
Just nice and clean.
856
00:46:18,345 --> 00:46:19,748
Just the way I like it.
857
00:46:19,913 --> 00:46:20,414
Okay.
858
00:46:25,886 --> 00:46:26,453
Mm.
859
00:46:30,257 --> 00:46:31,892
Don't it get any bigger?
860
00:46:35,029 --> 00:46:39,768
I had beer, so I'm,
you know, just totally.
861
00:46:39,867 --> 00:46:41,133
Okay. All right.
862
00:46:41,135 --> 00:46:43,937
Um, here's what we're gonna do.
863
00:46:44,405 --> 00:46:45,205
Sit here.
864
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:46,471
You get naked.
865
00:46:46,473 --> 00:46:48,373
Okay, I'll be right back.
866
00:46:48,375 --> 00:46:50,077
- Okay?
- Okay.
867
00:46:53,581 --> 00:46:55,049
Oh, God.
868
00:47:37,358 --> 00:47:37,925
Oh.
869
00:47:49,336 --> 00:47:50,871
Well, look at that.
870
00:47:51,305 --> 00:47:52,973
He got hard.
871
00:47:53,974 --> 00:47:57,844
Okay, so what we're gonna do,
I'm gonna lay you back over
872
00:47:57,846 --> 00:47:59,878
here, okay?
873
00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:02,280
Okay. I'm gonna give
you head and fuck you.
874
00:48:02,282 --> 00:48:03,150
Okay?
875
00:48:05,052 --> 00:48:06,353
Okay. Okay.
876
00:48:07,020 --> 00:48:08,055
It's gonna be fun.
877
00:48:18,232 --> 00:48:19,333
Oh my God.
878
00:48:24,071 --> 00:48:25,038
Oh, God.
879
00:48:26,674 --> 00:48:27,542
Okay.
880
00:48:28,342 --> 00:48:29,677
So just relax.
881
00:48:30,177 --> 00:48:30,879
Alright?
882
00:48:45,492 --> 00:48:46,895
You like that?
883
00:48:57,037 --> 00:48:57,572
God.
884
00:49:05,547 --> 00:49:06,011
I.
885
00:49:06,013 --> 00:49:08,583
I, I came, I came.
886
00:49:10,451 --> 00:49:11,351
Oh.
887
00:49:12,352 --> 00:49:13,454
Great.
888
00:49:13,588 --> 00:49:14,589
In and out.
889
00:49:15,022 --> 00:49:15,623
Okay.
890
00:49:17,191 --> 00:49:18,425
Great job. Huh?
891
00:49:20,194 --> 00:49:21,026
Really?
892
00:49:21,028 --> 00:49:23,731
Yeah. That was super good.
893
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:33,407
I mean, you come a lot.
894
00:49:34,943 --> 00:49:36,143
Oh, is that, um.
895
00:49:36,310 --> 00:49:38,078
Is is that bad?
896
00:49:38,145 --> 00:49:39,112
Did it hurt?
897
00:49:40,214 --> 00:49:43,217
No, I didn't feel a thing.
898
00:49:48,422 --> 00:49:49,755
And that was that.
899
00:49:49,757 --> 00:49:51,958
Fuckin A. Damn.
900
00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:52,625
I know.
901
00:49:52,627 --> 00:49:54,495
Oh, Randy's a horndog over here.
902
00:49:56,598 --> 00:49:57,632
Okay Randy.
903
00:49:58,065 --> 00:49:59,431
- Dude.
- Dude.
904
00:49:59,433 --> 00:50:01,601
- I mean.
- No way.
905
00:50:01,603 --> 00:50:04,104
That's dandy Randy
right there, man.
906
00:50:04,137 --> 00:50:05,439
No, it's handy Randy.
907
00:50:05,507 --> 00:50:06,473
Handy, Randy.
908
00:50:08,442 --> 00:50:09,611
Did she give you a handy?
909
00:50:11,579 --> 00:50:12,477
Did she give him a handy?
910
00:50:12,479 --> 00:50:13,445
Of course she did.
911
00:50:13,447 --> 00:50:15,415
He gives himself enough
handies every day, huh?
912
00:50:20,020 --> 00:50:20,622
There you go.
913
00:50:21,021 --> 00:50:21,990
That's my card.
914
00:50:26,661 --> 00:50:27,595
That's.
915
00:50:28,128 --> 00:50:29,263
That's funny.
916
00:50:30,999 --> 00:50:33,535
Thanks. You're a sweet kid.
917
00:50:35,502 --> 00:50:36,470
Thanks.
918
00:50:37,772 --> 00:50:38,640
Um.
919
00:50:44,378 --> 00:50:46,046
Are you sure you like girls?
920
00:50:46,380 --> 00:50:47,481
What?
921
00:50:49,316 --> 00:50:50,348
Yeah. Of course.
922
00:50:50,350 --> 00:50:51,686
Why? I mean, was it not.
923
00:50:52,020 --> 00:50:53,688
Was it, was it not
good for you?
924
00:50:54,722 --> 00:50:57,491
Oh, yeah, it was.
925
00:50:58,026 --> 00:50:59,459
It was great.
926
00:51:00,662 --> 00:51:02,564
Almost as good as my girlfriend.
927
00:51:03,063 --> 00:51:04,164
Wait, what?
928
00:51:04,799 --> 00:51:05,667
Oh, never you mind.
929
00:51:06,500 --> 00:51:08,199
Anyway. Yeah, it was great, kid.
930
00:51:08,201 --> 00:51:10,170
It was awesome. Loved it.
931
00:51:16,476 --> 00:51:17,645
Thank you.
932
00:51:21,683 --> 00:51:24,719
Trixie. Is that your name?
933
00:51:27,187 --> 00:51:28,322
I guess.
934
00:52:00,220 --> 00:52:01,623
Mom, I'm home!
935
00:52:09,396 --> 00:52:10,798
Mom?
936
00:52:32,419 --> 00:52:35,453
Randy. We went to visit your
Aunt Dorothy at the hospital.
937
00:52:35,455 --> 00:52:37,424
She's not doing too well.
938
00:52:37,457 --> 00:52:39,257
There's leftovers in
the fridge.
939
00:52:39,259 --> 00:52:40,926
Make sure and do the dishes.
940
00:52:40,928 --> 00:52:43,596
You know how your father
gets if there's dirty dishes.
941
00:52:43,598 --> 00:52:45,330
We should be back by dinnertime.
942
00:52:45,332 --> 00:52:46,433
Love, mom.
943
00:53:06,788 --> 00:53:07,789
- Hey.
- Hey.
944
00:53:09,157 --> 00:53:11,291
Uh, here you go.
945
00:53:11,425 --> 00:53:13,761
Finally. Should I
have it fumigated?
946
00:53:14,962 --> 00:53:20,500
Uh, no, I, uh, I didn't go.
947
00:53:22,837 --> 00:53:26,607
Besides, I don't, uh, have
to pay for it anyway, so.
948
00:53:26,641 --> 00:53:27,675
Did your friends go?
949
00:53:29,476 --> 00:53:30,545
I don't know.
950
00:53:30,845 --> 00:53:31,713
Who cares?
951
00:53:32,379 --> 00:53:33,478
A bunch of idiots.
952
00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:34,682
They're not idiots.
953
00:53:36,184 --> 00:53:37,652
Whatever.
954
00:53:38,452 --> 00:53:42,657
So, uh, would you,
uh, would you want to,
955
00:53:44,525 --> 00:53:45,793
do you want to go out sometime?
956
00:53:46,460 --> 00:53:47,662
What do you mean, out?
957
00:53:48,830 --> 00:53:49,962
Out. Go out.
958
00:53:49,964 --> 00:53:52,798
You know, like, we could,
uh, we could get some beer.
959
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:55,300
We could, uh, go
to Skyline Drive.
960
00:53:55,302 --> 00:53:57,638
- Randy.
- What?
961
00:53:57,905 --> 00:53:58,906
Stop.
962
00:54:06,413 --> 00:54:07,215
There you go.
963
00:54:10,718 --> 00:54:11,819
See,
964
00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:14,254
I did go.
965
00:54:18,258 --> 00:54:20,226
Uh, see you around.
966
00:54:20,228 --> 00:54:20,928
See you.
967
00:55:22,957 --> 00:55:24,592
Stupid baby face.
968
00:57:11,399 --> 00:57:12,499
Where's mom?
969
00:57:12,533 --> 00:57:13,500
Hospital
970
00:57:14,769 --> 00:57:17,872
Visiting, what's her face.
971
00:57:20,207 --> 00:57:21,208
So.
972
00:57:23,411 --> 00:57:24,444
What's all that?
973
00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:26,879
Nothing. I've got to pee.
974
00:57:26,881 --> 00:57:28,015
What? Hey!
975
00:57:29,884 --> 00:57:31,852
What is on your freaking face?
976
00:57:34,555 --> 00:57:35,089
Oh.
977
00:57:36,456 --> 00:57:37,425
No.
978
00:57:40,728 --> 00:57:41,963
This.
979
00:57:42,563 --> 00:57:45,066
This is why you hate
working on the cars with me.
980
00:57:48,703 --> 00:57:49,870
Damn you.
981
00:58:08,756 --> 00:58:09,957
Did you think you look pretty?
982
00:58:10,057 --> 00:58:11,158
Because you don't.
983
00:58:11,592 --> 00:58:12,660
You don't.
984
00:58:13,060 --> 00:58:14,460
God damn you!
985
00:58:14,462 --> 00:58:18,933
You know, you're the
last male in this family.
986
00:58:19,934 --> 00:58:21,068
You're it.
987
00:58:21,102 --> 00:58:22,668
You're the last, Parker.
988
00:58:22,670 --> 00:58:24,839
And you're supposed
to give us a grandson.
989
00:58:29,944 --> 00:58:30,778
What?
990
00:58:32,913 --> 00:58:34,115
Me and Mark went,
991
00:58:35,483 --> 00:58:36,984
to a whorehouse.
992
00:58:41,188 --> 00:58:43,858
Okay. Go on.
993
00:58:46,127 --> 00:58:47,161
Her name's on the card.
994
00:58:49,196 --> 00:58:49,997
Yeah.
995
00:58:50,765 --> 00:58:51,499
Okay.
996
00:58:54,201 --> 00:58:55,136
Trixie.
997
00:58:56,670 --> 00:58:57,772
That's good.
998
00:59:05,813 --> 00:59:07,114
Open your mouth.
999
00:59:08,816 --> 00:59:10,651
I want you to prove to me.
1000
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:14,221
That you really went.
1001
00:59:15,122 --> 00:59:16,023
Eat it.
1002
00:59:17,224 --> 00:59:18,192
Eat it.
1003
00:59:21,562 --> 00:59:22,963
It's paper.
1004
00:59:23,664 --> 00:59:25,866
Swallow the fucking paper, kid.
1005
00:59:26,867 --> 00:59:27,968
Swallow it.
1006
00:59:29,703 --> 00:59:31,172
Swallow it!
1007
00:59:34,842 --> 00:59:35,976
Fuck you!
1008
00:59:37,211 --> 00:59:38,245
Fuck you!
1009
01:00:48,916 --> 01:00:50,983
Hello? Oh, hello Randy.
1010
01:00:50,985 --> 01:00:52,251
Is Mark here?
1011
01:00:52,253 --> 01:00:55,387
No, I think they went to Adams.
1012
01:00:55,389 --> 01:00:56,257
Yeah.
1013
01:00:58,659 --> 01:01:00,227
What I meant was Sampson's.
1014
01:01:00,928 --> 01:01:02,761
- It's Sampson's brother.
- Luke's?
1015
01:01:02,763 --> 01:01:04,429
No. Yeah, sure.
1016
01:01:04,431 --> 01:01:05,733
That sounds good.
1017
01:01:06,233 --> 01:01:08,102
Do you want a cocktail?
1018
01:01:08,836 --> 01:01:10,671
Do you need a shirt?
1019
01:01:33,662 --> 01:01:35,763
Hey, it's the little dude.
1020
01:01:36,931 --> 01:01:39,300
Whoa! What happened
to your face?
1021
01:01:40,968 --> 01:01:42,868
No, no, man, I like it.
1022
01:01:42,870 --> 01:01:45,306
Looks like you ate
a wild raccoon live.
1023
01:01:47,107 --> 01:01:48,142
Are the guys here?
1024
01:01:48,209 --> 01:01:48,874
No, no.
1025
01:01:48,876 --> 01:01:49,544
No, man.
1026
01:01:50,177 --> 01:01:51,443
Man, they trashed my wheels.
1027
01:01:51,445 --> 01:01:52,479
Fuck them!
1028
01:01:53,347 --> 01:01:54,381
Wanna gonna get high?
1029
01:01:56,817 --> 01:01:57,718
Yeah.
1030
01:02:19,907 --> 01:02:20,908
Hey, man.
1031
01:02:23,712 --> 01:02:25,145
This is a safe space.
1032
01:02:25,980 --> 01:02:27,748
Leave all that bad shit outside.
1033
01:02:32,186 --> 01:02:33,485
Whatever's going on, it's just
1034
01:02:33,487 --> 01:02:35,856
the man stepping on your groove.
1035
01:02:35,923 --> 01:02:37,224
Okay?
1036
01:02:37,791 --> 01:02:40,227
All those people out there,
they're just pretending.
1037
01:02:41,428 --> 01:02:44,029
With their suits and
their briefcases.
1038
01:02:44,031 --> 01:02:45,366
They don't know shit.
1039
01:02:46,233 --> 01:02:48,333
The only person that
knows shit is Einstein.
1040
01:02:48,335 --> 01:02:50,037
But he's a hermaphrodite.
1041
01:02:51,038 --> 01:02:55,073
All these laws about whether
you're supposed to pee in the
1042
01:02:55,075 --> 01:02:57,009
wind or fart in public or not.
1043
01:02:57,011 --> 01:02:58,279
It's all made up.
1044
01:02:59,413 --> 01:03:00,381
Dig it?
1045
01:03:04,918 --> 01:03:05,886
This.
1046
01:03:07,054 --> 01:03:08,088
This is real.
1047
01:03:11,425 --> 01:03:12,527
Open your mouth.
1048
01:03:20,535 --> 01:03:21,935
Now inhale.
1049
01:03:45,192 --> 01:03:47,461
Yeah, man, this is good shit.
1050
01:03:47,562 --> 01:03:48,929
Wow that's a,
1051
01:03:49,564 --> 01:03:51,131
really strong weed.
1052
01:03:51,231 --> 01:03:52,567
It isn't weed.
1053
01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:54,001
Oh.
1054
01:03:55,102 --> 01:03:57,171
- Okay.
- One more.
1055
01:04:14,622 --> 01:04:15,456
Sit down.
1056
01:04:16,825 --> 01:04:18,857
Welcome to my magic carpet ride.
1057
01:04:18,859 --> 01:04:19,326
Mariah.
1058
01:05:21,255 --> 01:05:22,189
Hi.
1059
01:05:23,991 --> 01:05:25,092
Nice trip?
1060
01:05:28,162 --> 01:05:29,196
How long was I?
1061
01:05:29,363 --> 01:05:30,431
Don't worry about it.
1062
01:05:31,398 --> 01:05:34,067
Hey, come on, hot tub.
1063
01:05:36,905 --> 01:05:38,205
Come on, little dude.
1064
01:06:00,929 --> 01:06:01,563
Ooh.
1065
01:06:04,231 --> 01:06:05,065
So, uh.
1066
01:06:06,568 --> 01:06:08,536
What's with the
Maybelline on your face?
1067
01:06:10,572 --> 01:06:12,272
I mean, it's cool and all, but.
1068
01:06:14,408 --> 01:06:15,476
I don't know.
1069
01:06:33,160 --> 01:06:34,294
Much better.
1070
01:06:36,664 --> 01:06:38,398
You like that smoke?
1071
01:06:41,001 --> 01:06:42,102
Do you have any more?
1072
01:06:43,270 --> 01:06:44,739
No.
1073
01:06:45,405 --> 01:06:48,475
You're just gonna want more
and more, and then you're dead.
1074
01:06:49,343 --> 01:06:50,578
I'm almost there.
1075
01:06:53,581 --> 01:06:54,983
You want to see something?
1076
01:06:56,684 --> 01:06:58,285
Okay.
1077
01:06:59,654 --> 01:07:05,627
I'm gonna put myself into a
far out, meditative trance.
1078
01:07:06,594 --> 01:07:09,160
And I may say some
things, but I just.
1079
01:07:09,162 --> 01:07:10,262
I want you to play along.
1080
01:07:10,264 --> 01:07:10,999
Okay.
1081
01:07:14,101 --> 01:07:15,369
Okay, sure.
1082
01:07:16,303 --> 01:07:17,705
This is totally safe.
1083
01:07:18,006 --> 01:07:21,174
I learned this from this
really cool Moonie priest.
1084
01:07:22,276 --> 01:07:23,645
It's like an ancient thing.
1085
01:07:26,480 --> 01:07:28,282
Okay, put your finger like this.
1086
01:07:32,286 --> 01:07:33,220
Keep it up.
1087
01:07:33,287 --> 01:07:34,720
And don't put it down
till my eyes are closed.
1088
01:07:34,722 --> 01:07:35,657
Okay?
1089
01:07:37,057 --> 01:07:38,125
Oh, okay.
1090
01:07:39,226 --> 01:07:40,628
Now be very quiet.
1091
01:07:40,795 --> 01:07:42,329
This is the tricky part.
1092
01:07:57,177 --> 01:07:58,345
You got the tickets?
1093
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:01,214
The what?
1094
01:08:01,281 --> 01:08:04,650
The tickets to the
jumbo jet, baby.
1095
01:08:04,652 --> 01:08:05,417
Yeah.
1096
01:08:05,419 --> 01:08:07,154
Honeymoon time.
1097
01:08:07,354 --> 01:08:08,353
Who's your bride?
1098
01:08:08,355 --> 01:08:10,558
You are my pretty.
1099
01:08:12,292 --> 01:08:17,197
747 I love this wide body.
1100
01:08:17,331 --> 01:08:19,832
Look, there's the
spiral staircase.
1101
01:08:19,834 --> 01:08:20,835
Come on.
1102
01:08:21,101 --> 01:08:22,167
First class.
1103
01:08:22,169 --> 01:08:22,768
Up we go.
1104
01:08:22,770 --> 01:08:23,838
You first.
1105
01:08:25,372 --> 01:08:27,107
Hold my hand. Come with me.
1106
01:08:30,778 --> 01:08:33,779
Damn! Look at the
honeymoon suite.
1107
01:08:33,781 --> 01:08:35,550
It is huge.
1108
01:08:35,717 --> 01:08:37,752
And that bed is huge.
1109
01:08:40,120 --> 01:08:41,254
Now, where are you?
1110
01:08:42,857 --> 01:08:44,224
My pretty face.
1111
01:08:49,631 --> 01:08:50,798
How about down here?
1112
01:08:53,101 --> 01:08:54,399
There it is.
1113
01:08:54,401 --> 01:08:56,738
Someone is awake.
1114
01:09:00,207 --> 01:09:01,306
I'll take these off.
1115
01:09:01,308 --> 01:09:03,544
I don't, I don't know.
1116
01:09:03,578 --> 01:09:04,779
It's okay.
1117
01:09:05,113 --> 01:09:06,246
Don't worry.
1118
01:09:08,549 --> 01:09:10,384
Just don't tell anyone.
1119
01:09:10,585 --> 01:09:11,586
Cross my heart.
1120
01:09:19,894 --> 01:09:21,763
Touch down.
1121
01:09:38,278 --> 01:09:39,179
Don't kiss.
1122
01:09:39,614 --> 01:09:40,313
Sorry,
1123
01:09:41,448 --> 01:09:42,583
I have an idea.
1124
01:10:27,829 --> 01:10:28,328
Mhm.
1125
01:10:30,230 --> 01:10:32,232
So what happened?
1126
01:10:33,366 --> 01:10:35,469
I never know what happens
when I'm in a trance.
1127
01:11:05,900 --> 01:11:07,434
What the fuck?
1128
01:11:31,692 --> 01:11:33,692
You are so busted.
1129
01:11:33,694 --> 01:11:34,627
Shut up.
1130
01:11:34,629 --> 01:11:36,796
So you went to a whorehouse?
1131
01:11:36,798 --> 01:11:37,899
Really?
1132
01:11:41,736 --> 01:11:43,702
That's awesome.
1133
01:11:43,704 --> 01:11:46,304
I thought you were,
like, dead inside.
1134
01:11:46,306 --> 01:11:47,305
Surprise.
1135
01:11:47,307 --> 01:11:49,409
So you're actually normal?
1136
01:11:49,811 --> 01:11:50,945
Are you okay?
1137
01:11:52,079 --> 01:11:53,281
What do you mean?
1138
01:11:53,446 --> 01:11:54,916
You look a little funny.
1139
01:11:54,982 --> 01:11:55,915
I do?
1140
01:11:55,917 --> 01:11:57,952
Yeah, I wish I had a mirror.
1141
01:11:58,719 --> 01:11:59,885
Also, nice t-shirt.
1142
01:11:59,887 --> 01:12:01,086
What are you, a hippie now?
1143
01:12:01,088 --> 01:12:01,956
Stop!
1144
01:12:02,790 --> 01:12:05,425
No. Well, maybe I.
1145
01:12:05,458 --> 01:12:09,394
I did smoke a joint,
but it wasn't pot.
1146
01:12:09,396 --> 01:12:11,599
I did, you see God?
1147
01:12:11,933 --> 01:12:14,465
No. Shut up.
1148
01:12:14,467 --> 01:12:15,634
There was this guy.
1149
01:12:15,636 --> 01:12:20,107
His name was Luke, and he had,
um, a joint, but it wasn't
1150
01:12:20,407 --> 01:12:21,439
really a joint.
1151
01:12:21,441 --> 01:12:24,344
And I was floating.
1152
01:12:26,413 --> 01:12:27,648
It was.
1153
01:12:29,784 --> 01:12:31,418
Like, beautiful.
1154
01:12:31,919 --> 01:12:36,088
It was like I was in a movie
for, like, a few minutes or an
1155
01:12:36,090 --> 01:12:36,789
hour or two hours.
1156
01:12:36,791 --> 01:12:38,092
I don't really know, but
1157
01:12:39,527 --> 01:12:42,427
I feel like I lost
a piece of my brain.
1158
01:12:42,429 --> 01:12:46,466
Or I'm growing a new piece
really, really, really fast.
1159
01:12:46,634 --> 01:12:47,465
It's kind of like that book I
1160
01:12:47,467 --> 01:12:50,838
was reading by, um,
what's his name?
1161
01:12:51,806 --> 01:12:53,373
Kafka. Kafka.
1162
01:12:54,976 --> 01:12:56,476
I get it now.
1163
01:13:00,480 --> 01:13:01,549
Huh?
1164
01:13:06,386 --> 01:13:07,655
Don't tell anybody.
1165
01:13:08,623 --> 01:13:10,689
Okay. Who's Luke?
1166
01:13:10,691 --> 01:13:12,693
And what about the whorehouse?
1167
01:13:13,628 --> 01:13:14,528
Wow.
1168
01:13:14,695 --> 01:13:15,661
Thank you.
1169
01:13:15,663 --> 01:13:16,662
You're a good listener.
1170
01:13:16,664 --> 01:13:18,366
Okay, I'll send you a postcard.
1171
01:13:18,465 --> 01:13:19,798
Yeah, well, you better get
going inside.
1172
01:13:19,800 --> 01:13:20,733
They're waiting for you.
1173
01:13:20,735 --> 01:13:21,669
No shit.
1174
01:13:29,476 --> 01:13:30,845
Go, go.
1175
01:13:39,587 --> 01:13:41,155
Can you explain yourself?
1176
01:13:45,026 --> 01:13:47,526
Well, I'll be in the garage.
You know what I think.
1177
01:13:47,528 --> 01:13:49,028
Frank, this is important.
1178
01:13:49,030 --> 01:13:50,197
Tell him.
1179
01:13:59,073 --> 01:14:00,440
Say it.
1180
01:14:02,510 --> 01:14:03,544
You know.
1181
01:14:07,515 --> 01:14:08,747
You know I love you, son.
1182
01:14:08,749 --> 01:14:10,051
You know that.
1183
01:14:11,953 --> 01:14:14,689
Go on, give him a hug.
1184
01:14:19,060 --> 01:14:20,227
Listen to your mother.
1185
01:14:26,600 --> 01:14:28,235
Not even a hug, huh?
1186
01:14:30,204 --> 01:14:31,772
You can't say he didn't try.
1187
01:14:41,749 --> 01:14:43,882
We just want you to
know that those women.
1188
01:14:43,884 --> 01:14:46,752
They're not real, and
they won't make you happy.
1189
01:14:46,754 --> 01:14:47,788
Understand?
1190
01:14:49,590 --> 01:14:50,925
You hear me?
1191
01:14:51,592 --> 01:14:54,228
And whatever happened
between you and your father.
1192
01:14:55,096 --> 01:14:58,764
All I know is that when I came
home, he was yelling about
1193
01:14:58,766 --> 01:15:00,065
dishes in the sink.
1194
01:15:00,067 --> 01:15:03,738
And you going to
that deplorable.
1195
01:15:04,271 --> 01:15:05,606
I don't get it.
1196
01:15:05,940 --> 01:15:07,473
Why on earth did you go there?
1197
01:15:07,475 --> 01:15:09,076
I mean, what the
hell is going on?
1198
01:15:11,612 --> 01:15:13,014
Me little baby?
1199
01:15:16,617 --> 01:15:19,785
Well, we have decided that
we're not going to punish you
1200
01:15:19,787 --> 01:15:23,624
for going to that
deplorable place.
1201
01:15:24,825 --> 01:15:27,128
I think you've learned
a lesson there, huh?
1202
01:15:27,294 --> 01:15:28,529
You want to get high.
1203
01:15:28,796 --> 01:15:30,963
Or for disappearing last night?
1204
01:15:30,965 --> 01:15:35,803
Because I know that you're
a father can get angry.
1205
01:15:37,204 --> 01:15:38,837
I mean, sometimes even
I want to run away.
1206
01:15:38,839 --> 01:15:40,975
So, but I don't.
1207
01:15:42,309 --> 01:15:46,979
So we have decided that you are
going to be grounded for one
1208
01:15:46,981 --> 01:15:49,016
week for not doing the dishes.
1209
01:15:53,621 --> 01:15:57,124
For not doing the dishes?
1210
01:15:57,158 --> 01:15:58,159
Yes.
1211
01:15:59,160 --> 01:16:01,894
That's crazy.
1212
01:16:01,896 --> 01:16:03,731
Well that's life.
1213
01:16:04,799 --> 01:16:05,866
I am,
1214
01:16:07,234 --> 01:16:10,539
seriously confused right now.
1215
01:16:12,073 --> 01:16:15,709
And luckily, you'll have lots
of time to get unconfused.
1216
01:16:20,815 --> 01:16:22,083
Sorry.
1217
01:16:30,191 --> 01:16:31,325
Grounded.
1218
01:16:31,725 --> 01:16:35,729
Grounded. Grounded sucks.
1219
01:16:35,930 --> 01:16:38,230
I mean, straight
home from school.
1220
01:16:38,232 --> 01:16:39,364
And the worst.
1221
01:16:39,366 --> 01:16:42,267
No TV, but there is my stereo.
1222
01:16:42,269 --> 01:16:43,035
That's mine.
1223
01:16:43,037 --> 01:16:44,171
And mine is mine.
1224
01:16:45,039 --> 01:16:46,371
Especially when no
one else can hear.
1225
01:16:46,373 --> 01:16:48,107
Because headphones.
1226
01:16:48,109 --> 01:16:49,842
Then no one knows what
you're listening to.
1227
01:16:49,844 --> 01:16:54,048
But when I move out
and God, I can't wait.
1228
01:16:54,381 --> 01:17:00,185
No headphones and I will
seriously play it full blast.
1229
01:17:00,187 --> 01:17:02,591
Fuck everyone.
1230
01:17:03,224 --> 01:17:04,391
Well, not everyone.
77830
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