All language subtitles for Elsbeth.S02E06.HDTV.H264-RBB-NH

Hell-ho-ho-ho.

I'm Dirk Dashers.

And I'm DeeDee Dashers.

Welcome to our home in...
The North Pole.

Dirk. He's kidding.

Welcome to our home
in Bronxville.

While this is a special

holiday Dress Up episode,
I can assure you

our home is Christmas
24/7/365.

This year, we're extra
lucky and get 366 days.

We love a leap year.

Dress Up readers have seen
our work in the homes

of celebrities
over the years.

But how did we become
the Christmas curators

to the stars?
We'll never tell.

Maybe later. Follow us.

My first custom ornament.

I was three,
at a Polo Classic.

Dirk was born
with a gift.

I would look at trees
as a child and think,

"They need something."

But I couldn't shake
the Christmas bug.

The colors, the fashion.

The lights.
It's theater.

Aw.

And so, there I was at 17,

being hired to decorate
my classmates' homes.

"Pardon me, Mr. Senator, sir,

do you prefer
red or silver tinsel?"

And the work
hasn't stopped since.

But we don't call it work.

We call it
"spreading holiday cheer."

That's right, sugarplum.

Clients go bananas over
the custom figurines

Dirk makes them.

"You talkin' to me?"

He's always in here.

"Tinkering and Thinkering,"
I call it.

And that's how I came up with

our first foray
into retail.

We want to bring
our holiday joy into every home.

We couldn't be
jollier to announce

our new Dress Up
by Dashers collab.

Our line of 1964
vintage-inspired Christmas decor

is launching this anniversary
year of Dress Up's founding.

Coming soon to retailers
near you, because...

Everything's better

with a dash of Dashers.

Oh.
Oh. Uh, the reindeer
must be hungry.

We better go.

Merry Christmas to all...

And to all a good...

Hey. Who put
that there?

I want a divorce.

Let's talk tomorrow.

I have to touch up
John Waters' mustache.

No. It can't wait.

I am done with this marriage.

I'm sure we'll figure it out.

More importantly,
I am done with Christmas.

What did you just say?
I can't take it anymore.

This red and green hellscape.

Need I remind you, Christmas
is what brought us together.

And it's what's
tearing us apart.

It is your passion,
and I have

supported it since day one,
but I have lost myself.

We are launching retail.

We have the Rockefeller
contract in three years.

Not to mention, you and I
are alliteration heaven.

I cannot pretend
to be happy anymore.

Not for you and
especially not for the public.

What does happiness
have to do with Christmas?

Delivering presents

on time is Mr. and Mrs. Claus's
one and only priority.

We are not Mr. and Mrs. Claus.

Tell that to America.
Break their hearts.

This will ruin my life's work!

Exactly. Your life's work.

My mind is made up.

Divorce is the only solution.

How about this?

Let's...

have one last Christmas
together.

For us. Then we'll circle
back in the new year.

I have to get over to Dress Up.

I'll take that as a yes.

It just sunk in.

The Dress Up lobby will be
our final project together.

Should I tell the team
when I get there?

No, no, that'll ruin
their Christmas.

Let's just make this
our best display yet.

And then we'll do
what all unhappy couples do:

get through the holidays.

I'm so sorry
you had to see that.

Christmas brings
people together.

How dare she try to sully it
with divorce?

And what might she say
to our clients?

Or worse, the press.

The brand wouldn't survive
a disgruntled Mrs. Claus.

"Divorce is the only solution."

"Poor Dirk Dashers,

"that sweet,

"handsome,
impeccably-dressed man.

"A tragic accident made him
a widower at Christmas.

Let's buy everything he sells
to support him."

I'll be a Christmas god.

I want to thank everyone
for your hard work

on launching
our Dress Up by Dashers line.

But the biggest thanks goes
to the incomparable Gisela Mott

for taking a chance
on little old me.

And DeeDee.

As editor in chief of Dress Up,

you have changed
the world of fashion

and now the world
of home holiday decor.

It is a dream come
true to work with you.

And thank you to my wife DeeDee,
the jingle in my bells.

Well, I would just like to...
Ten!

Nine!

Eight! Seven!

Six!
Snow is too soon.

Five!
Grayden, what are you doing?

Four!
DeeDee?

You throw the switch.
Three!

Two! One!

It's...

fine.

Almost.

What are we looking at?

Oh, I am so sorry, Gisela.

I will take care
of that right away.

Just like Santa
climbing a chimney.

Why do people like
a strange man

breaking into
their homes?

Presents.

Not again.

Ooh. Those hanging lights
sure are fun.

Wow.

This is the most stunningly
beautiful crime scene.

Is it a crime scene?

Uh, it appears to be,
uh, an accidental fall.

The deceased is
Dirk Dashers.

Uh, he and his wife DeeDee
appear to be, um,

celebrity Christmas curators/
holiday visual artists.

Is that a thing?
I love it.

We were just about to talk
to the deceased's wife and...

Gisela Mott?

Oh, my gosh,
it's so good to see you, Gisela.

Oh, and also, sorry.

I'm Laird, Gisela's assistant.

Can I help you?

Hi, Laird. Ooh, that's fun
to say. "Laird."

I'm Elsbeth.

Gisela's sunglasses
solved a murder for us

at Festival of Fashion
last year.

And now here we are again.

- It's such a small world.
- It is

very tiny and very violent.

We're sorry

for your loss, Mrs. Dashers.

How could he die
doing what he loved?

So on-brand.

And borderline tacky.

How did he die, exactly?

He fell?

Oh, my gosh, is that Santa?

He tried to fix
a burnt-out bulb.

And it did that?

Exposed wires.

Elsbeth Tascioni,
Fire Marshal Lee Sparks.

Lee Sparks,
Elsbeth Tascioni.

No way. You're in fire
and your name's Sparks?

You're funny.

Am I?

I thought firemen
only did fires.

Well, this is fire-adjacent.

Everything is fire-adjacent.

You were saying something
about exposed wires.

Wires were exposed
around the bulb.

Dirk Dashers touched a wire,
got a shock, lost balance.

You have to be very careful
with Christmas lights.

Those are vintage lights,
not from our new collection.

Ours would never fray.

Uh, I don't see the...
difference.

That's the point,
darling.

So this just seems like

a really gruesome accident.

Agreed.

A classic
Christmas light string shock

and ladder fall,

resulting in
a reindeer antler impalement.

Oof.

Nobody move!

There's exposed metal
on this handle.

Under the podium
is copper plating.

If someone touches both of these
at the same time,

the electrical current will pass
over their heart and kill them.

So... don't.

That seems
an extremely foolish design.

Foolish and effective.

No one would do this
intentionally.

Unless...

It was intentional.

Dirk was supposed to light
the tree as he always does.

Someone tried to murder Dirk.

Or me.

I'm very killable.

That's not true.

So, who flipped the switch?

I did. But I'm fine.

A Christmas miracle.

You were very lucky. This time.

I wouldn't use the word "lucky."

Dirk was lucky, too.

Until he wasn't.

But who had it out for
jolly Old St. Dirk?

Everywhere I look is beautiful.

Everywhere I look reminds me
of my dead husband.

Everything Christmas
has to go.

I understand. I was
the same way about fedoras.

Did someone you love
die tragically wearing a fedora?

Oh, no. My ex-husband wore them.
We're divorced.

Which is different.

Oh.
Thank you for meeting
with us so soon, DeeDee.

It's "D'Day."

Pardon?
My name,

it's pronounced "D'Day."

"DeeDee" was
for the masses.

It was Dirk's idea.

This was all Dirk's idea.

I can't go on
living this

holiday lifestyle without him.

It just wouldn't be right.

Oh, look at this one.
It's so sweet.

Ah. It was Dirk's.

He was born with
the gift of decor,

much to the chagrin
of his parents.

They wanted him
to join the family business.

It's hard feeling like you've
disappointed your parents.

It's true. I think that's why

we were so successful
as a couple.

I always supported him

in everything he did.

Even changing your name.

I had no idea holiday decorating
was a career option.

Neither did I until I met Dirk.

Our clients
would pay top dollar.

And Dirk would do
anything for them.

Well, I am inspired.

I haven't bought holiday
decorations for my new home yet.

Well...

To get you started.

Oh, thank you.

Although, legally,
I can only accept gifts

under a certain dollar amount.

Those are worthless.

Great.

So, it was so sad

about the frayed lights.

Why were those vintage?

Oh, uh, Dirk told me
that Gisela insisted

that they match
the 1964 cover of Dress Up.

I never should've
listened to him.

I'll have to live with that
regret for the rest of my life.

Who would want
to hurt Dirk?

I can't imagine.

All of his clients loved him.

Our marriage was
as merry as could be.

I mean, look around.
It was Christmas every day.

We were such a happy unit.

Just me, Dirk

and our
Dashers Little Helpers.

They are helpful.

Ooh! And strong.

Yes. And devastated.

Dirk was so close to them.
He handpicked them all.

He had a specific standard

of how he wanted our business
to be presented.

Did any of
Dashers Little Helpers

have access to the podium?

In the workshop? Of course.

He and the Helpers would
hang out in there for hours.

Just tinkering or whatever.

You wouldn't believe

the number of hot cocoa mugs

I'd have to clean up
every morning.

I love hot cocoa.

This workshop that you speak of
sounds mighty interesting.

Could we get a tour?

Oh, um, I...

I think it would be too painful,

but, um,
Grayden over here

would be happy to be
a helpful Helper.

Just not too helpful.

We still have
nine trees to take down.

Is this heaven?

No, but I think this is.

Stop it.

It's a candy cane factory.

- Oh. Look at the little...
- Hey!

We obviously all want
to play with everything,

but can we focus?

Sorry. It's just, he was
such a talented craftsman.

Oh, and technician.

Did you help Mr. Dashers
in the workshop, Grayden?

Were you and Dirk close?

He was like family.

Who would want to kill someone
as nice as Mr. Dashers?

Was he... too nice
to some Helpers?

He was a total gentleman,

and he expected
us to be, too.

He taught us about manners,
punctuality, responsibility.

That's why
I don't get the accident.

He taught us to always
"check everything twice

and make sure
it's not naughty but nice."

I love that.

And there were no frayed wires.
I mean, we would've caught that.

I don't know why
he got in my face

about starting the snow early.

He told me to do it
at the count of eight.

Was he preoccupied
with something?

Did he seem unhappy?

He was happier than ever.
He was working out.

He was all up on
a new skin care regiment and...

his skin was glowing.

We couldn't reach him
at night a lot,

but maybe he was needing...

Needing what?

Break time is ho-ho-over!

Over. Sorry.
Old habits die hard.

If you all don't mind,
we have a lot of work to do.

And I'm so sad.

Is this a turtle dove?

Oh, most people just think
that's a pigeon or something.

I had a lot of bird calendars
as a kid.

And it's wearing
a little Santa hat.

If you could please
just put it back.

There's only one.
Excuse me?

Where's yours?

Uh, well...

Of all the things
I've packed today,

this one reminds me
the most of Dirk.

It's so... dead.

Doesn't take a genius
to put it together.

You are so right.

Wait, which part?

Working out, busy at night.

My ex did the same thing
when he was having an affair,

only he got highlights
and DJ equipment.

Um, did you get any intel from
that Helper you were talking to?

No. I mean, yes.

I asked where they got
their moving boxes.

Those were solid boxes.

New Yorkers love
good moving boxes.
Mm-hmm.

But why?

I have some exciting news.

I'm moving out.
My renovation finished early.

Congratulations.
That's unheard of.

So, you won't be staying
with me for Christmas?

Oh. No.

With the reno done,
I'm gonna join

my family on a cruise.

Not my ideal vacation,
but, you know,

things we do for family.

Do I.
I'll be in Delaware.

You're gonna be
with Teddy

in D.C., right?

No.

Teddy spends every other year
with his dad.

So, I'll be alone,
but, um, that's okay.

What about, um...
I thought about

having a party, but I've learned

that New Yorkers are
the busiest people

in the history of the world
at the holidays.

And now I've learned
that New Yorkers love boxes.

The things we learn.

I'm sure
Christmas will work out.

I'm sorry.

No, don't be. I'm happy for you.

This is just one of those things
that happens...

...when you uproot
your whole life.

I'll just, uh,
celebrate Christmas

twice as hard next year.

Why weren't you responding
to my texts?

I was stuck in the North Pole.

Speaking of which, what's with
all those Santas out there?

Oh, the dreaded SantaCon.

33,000 people
who dress up like Santa,

drink and take over
the streets of New York.

Ugh. It really can be
the worst time of the year.

Can you please pull up my texts?

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Is this a riddle?

What do I get Claudia
for Christmas?

I mean, she always gives me
a hint, but this year,

she said, "Just get me
whatever you think I'd like."

Uh, I know better
than that, so...

So...?

I know you have great ideas.

Me?

Ideas. Okay, how about, um-mm...

Well, you'll figure it out.

Why don't you ask
one of the Santas out there?

Got to go.

Is Elsbeth okay?

She is not.

I'm moving out.

And she doesn't have Teddy
for the holidays.

So she'll be alone
for Christmas.

Oh. That isn't good.

Gisela fired me

because she didn't
get to throw the switch

at the lighting ceremony
and blames me,

so now I don't have a job,
I don't have a life,

and I don't get to play in
the Dress Up archives anymore.

Life is so unfair
sometimes.

So unfair!

But, Laird,
Gisela could've died.

Oh, she doesn't care.

She'd die for the spotlight,
just like any of us.

Do you want us to

arrest Gisela for firing you?

Can you do that?

I mean, that's
not why I'm here.

It didn't seem like
a big deal at the time.

I mean, it was a big deal
but for different reasons.

But Gisela had asked
Dirk Dashers

if she could
throw the switch.

And he yelled "no" at her.
Like, "No!"

He'd never yelled at Gisela
like that before.

No one had ever talked to Gisela
like that before.

So Dirk was rude?
So rude.

And then he told DeeDee to do it
instead when he left the podium

to yell at the snow elf guy

or whatever,
which was weird,

'cause Gisela had asked him.

But he said no, like, "No!"

Okay, we get it.

Anything else?
No! It's...

I'm in a bad mood.

Maybe I'll go to France.

Oh, France is so lovely.

Before you go, um...

do you, or does Dress Up,

have any
holiday gift suggestions?

You know, for the wife,
let's say.

You could do, like,
a Cartier Tank Louis

hand-wound, 18-karat
rose gold watch.

Or maybe a sweatshirt.

If Dirk would do anything
to make a client happy,

why wouldn't he let Gisela
throw the switch?

I agree.

And to react
so emotionally?

I mean, "no" to someone
like Gisela Mott?

People get so worked up
about Christmas lights.

It's-it's silly.

But it is weird.

He stopped Gisela.

He ran off.

Was Dirk trying to kill...

- DeeDee?
- "D'Day."

Pardon?

Her name is pronounced
"D'Day" now.

Did Dirk want "D'Day..." d'dead?

You're a hit!

The Dress Up by Dashers line
is already

sold out in preorders.

We've been pitched book deals,
a documentary series,

a fashion line.

Every agent dreams
of a moment like this.

I don't understand. Why?

Sad sells. Look at Joan Didion.

Everyone loves a widow.

So it's pity buying?

Well, it spends the same.
People just want to know

what would happen
to a widowed Mrs. Claus.

And you're the closest thing
people have to that.

But, perhaps,

as this movie pitch suggests,

"Gertrude gets her groove back."

Uh, who is Gertrude?

Mrs. Claus's
real name, I guess.

The title's gonna change.

Seasons grievings, DeeDee.

Cha-ching!

Oh, also, so sorry about Dirk.

"D'Day."

I'm back to "D'Day."

Yeah, we're gonna have
to circle back to that.

Okay, well, Kidder,

I have a pitch.

Uh, Mrs. Claus pivots.

Uh, she has a career shift.

"2BOnMyOwn Home."

It's a line
of monochromatic home goods,

where we just let color

"B" on its own.

Somehow this is
sadder than death.

Smile, DeeDee.

You are gonna be the even bigger
face of Christmas.

Dirk would be
so happy.

Hi. We're with the NYPD.

We'd like to see
Kidder Hawes.

You can go in now.

Are you okay?

It's just a tough time.

It can be, yeah.

But the new year
will be here soon enough.

What are you doing here?

Oh, we're just following up
on all leads.

Can you excuse us?

Uh, of course.

Ooh, this is bland.

Promise you'll tell me

once you figure out
who wanted to kill my husband.

You must tell me
anything you find out,

anything at all.

The holidays will
already be hard enough

without thinking that Dirk's
murderer is still out there.

Of course.
As soon as we find out anything.

Okay.

Um, oh, and, "D'Day,"
I love your hat.

See?

I'm re-embracing Christmas,
for Dirk.

And it's "DeeDee" again.

So, how can I help you all?

Mr. Hawes, what was

your relationship like
with Dirk Dashers?

Good. Lucrative. Expanding.

All in all,
he was a great client.

I am so sorry
for your loss.

Don't be.

It's no real loss.

DeeDee and I are gonna
make a fortune.

Um, maybe we're
missing something,

but weren't you and
Dirk very close?

Close how?

We got a copy of
Dirk's phone records,

and they show you two were
in constant communication.

Hours, every day.

Wasn't me.

All the calls were
to this office.

I don't know what to tell you.
Not this guy.

Ooh, now that I have you,
quick focus group.

Um, I'm gonna throw out
two words, and I want you

snow globe...

...loved one's ashes.

See that?

They're with you all
the time. Thoughts?

Ashes all over the
city. Cute, huh?

Dirk was the best lover
I ever had.

Just to clarify:

Dirk Dashers,
the Christmas decorator?

Holiday visual artist.

We shared an appreciation
for all things Christmas.

Did Mrs. Dashers
know about you two?

Hard to know what
she's ever really thinking.

She doesn't even like Christmas.

Really?
Hates it.

For years.

That's why Dirk and I
got so close.

He'd come in here, so fantastic
and happy and red and green.

It was destiny.

But he knew divorce would
ruin their brand.

Star-crossed lovers.

It's true.

But he promised
we'd be together.

One day.

Holly!

Where's my massage gun?

Bye.

Bye, Holly.
Bye.

Well, my bad.

I took Dirk's
passion for figurines

and handsome helpers to assume
something else about him.

Same.

And "D'Day--"

No, wait,
we're back to "DeeDee"?

DeeDee hates Christmas?

Dirk was telling
the truth.

He and Holly would be together,
just not through divorce.

DeeDee's gonna be devastated.

Oh, poor thing.

She said she wants to know
as soon as we find out anything.

She insisted.

I'll clear it
with the Captain,

but I would hate to be
the one to break it to her.

Uh, same.

This needs to be handled
delicately.

Yeah.

I love the gloves.
Bold choice.

Thank you.

'Tis the season.

Yeah, since you're embracing
the holidays again,

I thought you'd love
this place.

Oh, yeah, it's great.
It's so my vibe.

You must love it, too.
It's so festive.

Oh, yeah, SantaCon is the best.

All these Santas bumping
into you and talking loud.

Who doesn't love the holidays?

Whew, that's
good apple juice.

Two more, please.

Oh, and mine's seedless, right?
No cyanide.

So, what are we doing here?

Did you find
something...?

Dirk was trying to kill you!

Excuse me?

Dirk?
Dirk.

Was trying.
Was trying.

To kill me?
To kill me-- you.

Yes, you.

But he was the love of my life.

The-the jingle in my bells.

Why?

I know why.

Now I understand why
you were at Kidder's office.

But it didn't mean that Dirk
and I didn't love each other.

No, relationships
are complicated.

Especially
business relationships.

Yeah, and sometimes
people want out,

for whatever reason,
and they make terrible,

unforgivable decisions.

Dirk and Kidder were right.

We work so much better
as a team.

They were such silly squabbles
over work.

I just never thought he'd want
to kill me over one of the...
Wait.

I thought we were talking
about Holly.

Who?

Kidder's assistant.

Take the shot.

You're gonna need it.

DeeDee killed Dirk.

Sweet Christmas Lady? No way.

What were you drinking
at that bar?

Just cyanide-free apple juice.
I swear.

DeeDee told us that
she wanted out of Christmas.

But it's not because
she was in mourning.

She's been wanting out.

I saw a business proposal

in her agent's office
dated over a year ago.

Some monochromatic
home goods thing.

Very not me.

Or DeeDee,
so you'd think.

But maybe this is
who she really wants to be.

Well, let's say she did kill him

by purposeful accident
or something.

Why wouldn't the motive
be the affair with Holly?

DeeDee genuinely didn't know
about the affair with Holly.

The Christmas guy had
an affair with a Holly?
It's true.

It's all so
on the blinking red nose.

So, DeeDee wanted out, but
Dirk would never divorce her

because the brand
was too important,

so he decided
to kill her?

Yeah, but DeeDee
outsmarted him, somehow.

How?

Somehow.
It's convoluted

and really bumming out
my holiday vibe.

Hey, get back here!

Grab him!

Welcome to the club.

But all I want for Christmas
is a case closed.

So, if you all can prove it,
go ahead.

DeeDee just seems so delightful.

Merry Christmas, darling.

You're lucky you caught me.

It's Christmas tree fire season.

Ugh, holidays can be rough.

Don't get me started
on Thanksgiving cooking fires.

So, we'd like you to watch
this surveillance camera footage

of the tree lighting ceremony
at Dress Up.

Hey.

Fire. Focus.

What is it with you
and firemen?

I told you,
they love the hair.

So, DeeDee did touch

the copper plating, there.

Her hand is on the handle
and the copper at the same time,

so our question for you is:

How did DeeDee avoid
getting shocked?

Was it the gloves?

If those are regular gloves,
they wouldn't protect her.

That podium was wired
by an expert.

That is so weird.
Dirk was meticulous.

So, all of his planning
that night hinged on luck?

People think they're lucky
till they're not,

which is usually
when my phone rings.

Speaking of phone numbers...

Thank you so much
for your help.

Uh, you stay safe out there.

Where did that come from?

Did someone break in?

Gonzo! Gonzo!

Oh, my goodness. Oh.

I don't, I don't understand.
No, it was me.

It was me. Okay, listen.

I know things aren't going
according to your plans

this year,
and that is a huge bummer,

but I really don't want you
to miss out

on the sparkliest
of all the holidays.

It's just so... you.

It is so me,
and I wish I could. I just...

It just doesn't feel
so good this year.

I can be sad sometimes, too.

I get that.

And of course you can.

You know, growing up,

my dad wasn't home much
around Christmas.

He worked at UPS.

The holidays were, like,
the busiest time of year.

And it sucked.

But nothing would have
made him sadder

than thinking
his family was at home

missing out on all the fun
because he wasn't there.

It was because of him

we were able to have
such beautiful Christmases.

These decorations are from

my family Christmas trees
over the years.

My parents sent
them to me,

along with about
ten other boxes.

They're more into
pre-lit trees now.

But now you and Gonzo

can share in
the Blanke family Christmases.

That is so sweet.

You're an angel on earth.

Really.
I just don't think

that I could look
at this tree without

thinking about
all the people I'm missing

and want to burn it down!

Whoa, okay, let's reframe that.

Oh. I got all A's
on my exams.

You did?

That's no surprise,
but that's so wonderful.

That index card method
really works.

Oh, right?
Well, we have to celebrate.

What do you want to do?

I think I want
to decorate the tree.

We'll call it
a Celebration Tree,

and we can enjoy it together
before I leave.

Well played, Officer Blanke.

Aw.

Sorry so many of these
are burnt out.

Oh, it's not your fault.

But maybe it's a sign.

No, it's not.

It just comes with the
holiday decorating territory.

That's why my parents
went with a cruise.

They are done with
all the Christmas lights mess.

I know something
that can make it easier.

Are those the ones-- ah.

I pulled them
out of your garbage.

Well, at least
these won't be burnt-out.

Yes.

Yay.

Spoke too soon.

That is so strange.

Why on some strings
are all the bulbs out,

but on these, only one?

I think it has to do with
how they make new lights.

On those old lights,
like my parents',

when one goes out, they all do.

Technology changes.

But the lights

on the Dress Up lobby tree
were vintage, aka old.

So, how was only one bulb out?

Whoa.

I thought the
investigation was over.

My heart is broken,
but I wasn't murdered.

Cookie?
I baked them this morning.

Mrs. Claus would never
pass up Christmas cookies.

She wouldn't, would she?

Are they too green?

I was going for juniper.

Oh, I think
they're a lovely green.

Mmm. Notes of mouthwash.

Will this take long?
The holidays wait for no one.

Especially Gertrude Claus.

You shunt be disappointed.

We return...

...to the scene of the crime.

Attempted crime, fortunately.

Dirk was in love with Holly.

Sorry.
But he'd never divorce you.

It'd destroy the Dashers brand.

Our life's work.

And loving Holly alone
wouldn't drive him

to kill his Mrs. Claus.

But you wanting

out of the business because
you hate Christmas would.

"Hate" is such a strong word.

I just don't always feel
like Christmas.

You understand, Ms. Tascioni.

Only every other year,
and I'm working on it.

Everyone loves
a Christmas widower.

All the deals
coming your way prove it:

murder was a business decision.

It brings me no comfort

understanding
my husband's motives.

And all the deals prove
is that I'm very lovable.

And fashionable.

You're always
dressed to the nines,

wearing red or green gloves.

But at the lighting ceremony,
you had on...

Black gloves.

Grayden was such
a helpful helper

in finding them in a box
in the back of your closet.

Well, Grayden's going
on the naughty list.

And are you accusing me
of a Christmas fashion crime?

I would never judge
someone's fashion.

- But these gloves...
- Have a rubber lining

to prevent electric shocks.

You discovered his plan
to electrocute you

when you went into
Dirk's Little Workshop

to clean up
delicious hot cocoa mugs.

Okay, so, if true, I saved
my own life by wearing gloves.

Is that in the penal code
somewhere?

No, but once you saw his plan,

you decided to be rid of him
and Christmas once and for all.

You told us Gisela wanted

- vintage lights.
- But did she?

No.
No.

You said that because vintage
lights fraying was believable.

But the Dashers Little Helpers
would have noticed.

But you frayed the wires
after everyone left.

Oh, and then
I suppose

I made Dirk fall off the ladder?

So I'm guilty of gravity?

No, that was Newton's fault.

But you pointed out the bulb.

Okay.

Small glitch in your theory:

If I hadn't pointed it out,
someone else would have.

Everyone saw it.

Exactly. It.

And now for our word of the day.

Shunts.

Newer lights have shunts,
which allow a current

to continue flowing
through a circuit,

so if one bulb burns out,
the rest of the bulbs stay lit.

But with vintage,

like on your tree here, when one
bulb goes out, they all go out.

But there was only one bulb out,
which doesn't make sense.

A Christmas miracle.
Christmas...

must be difficult for somebody
who's color-blind.

What color are those cookies?

Red.

You couldn't sort the ornaments
at your house,

you wore mismatched gloves
at the bar,

and I saw your monochromatic
business plan.

With Dirk gone, there's no one
to correct your color mistakes.

Honestly,
you should be impressed

that I've made it this far
in a red-and-green industry.

It would be impressive,
except...

You switched a burnt-out
bulb on your new lights

with a working bulb
on the vintage lights.

And you placed it
just out of reach

so the shock
from the frayed wires

would make Dirk fall.

Red, green, red...

...green, green, green.

Only someone who's color-blind
wouldn't notice

the wrong color sequence

when they switched...

...the bulbs.

Bah humbug, right?

And here I thought
the only person who would notice

a bulb out of place was dead.

Then you came along.

Oh, thank you.

And thank you
for helping me

realize what Christmas
decorations are all about.

The relationships that we build
and treasure throughout the year

are what make the lights
sparkle so much brighter

come Christmas. Mm.

The meaning of Christmas?

I'm gonna throw up.
Get me out of here.

Oh, and in case
you were wondering,

the placement of the reindeer
that Dirk fell on

was just lucky.

A Christmas miracle.

Couples dance lessons
at FlashRob Studios.

For Claudia.

Oh, right. I don't think she...

Trust me.

Thank you, Elsbeth.

You're welcome.

Is anyone else in the mood
for hot cocoa?

Okay. Here.

Okay.

These are good boxes.

Thank you for everything,
Elsbeth.

This may be the worst day
of my entire life.

I'm just so lucky
that I got to live with you.

I'm gonna miss you so much.

But just not weekdays
between 9:00 and 5:00.

I'm gonna miss you, too.

And to thank you, we got you
a little moving-out present.

We?

More like
an early Christmas present.

Captain Wagner?

What are you
doing here?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

You are in the wrong place.

The nearest SantaCon mob
is, like, three blocks away.

Merry Christmas, Mom.

Teddy!