All language subtitles for Easy - 02x03 - Side Hustle

I wanted us to meet because

I have been thinking
things and then not...

I read scripts, or I read
articles, or my friends

are talking about something

and I think, "I totally disagree."

Then suddenly, I read your stuff,

and you're articulating
exactly what I've been thinking.

So I know that somehow we're
supposed to work on something.

It's weird because I write,
obviously, a lot about sexuality

and the backlash I get often is
from people you wouldn't expect.

So in the article that
you're saying you read,

I wrote about having a gangbang fantasy.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- And...

Then women are angry that you
acknowledge that you have a rape fantasy,

because they want to pretend you don't.

The other thing is, like, stop
judging other people's fantasies.

Like, that's thought police shit, right?

I definitely feel like I'm
increasingly libertarian.

- You don't have to agree with me.
- I do.

I would love to write something for you,

because as we were talking about,

it's easier to put these words
in the mouth of a character

than to say them myself.

- It's safer. Especially now.
- Yeah.

I don't want to be run
out of town on a rail.

- A script is like the safe space.
- Yeah.

- Or not safe space.
- "Safe space." Jeez.

- All of that safe space...
- It's so bad.

There are no safe
spaces. There are no...

The more people talk
about needing a safe space,

the more I feel like they're
creating a world where no one is safe.

- I'm gonna be rude and check my phone.
- It's all right.

Because I have to be somewhere.

- How rude.
- Yeah, I'm really late.

- I'm gonna run. Sorry.
- Go.

I loved our judgment-free zone,
and I would like to hang out again.

- We're gonna.
- Okay.

- I'm sorry.
- It's good.

- Bye.
- See you later.

I notice a lot of girls on Tinder,

their profiles will be very
specific about what they want.

I think that shows how
desperate a lot of guys are.

Our profiles are blank.

My profile would be like, "If
you're racist, we'll work on it."

Like, "I'm a feminist, but
women do be shopping, though."

And then fireworks in
the background and shit.

They say opinions are
like assholes, and I agree

in that I wish my girlfriend
cared more about mine.

I don't want to go to your house,

'cause it smells like
Diet Coke and divorce.

Grindr is actually a
dick pic trading platform

where guys sometimes accidentally
meet up with each other.

My full name is Odinaka
Malachi Ezeokoli.

My parents' names are Ben and Monica.

I'm Nigerian, I think. I
don't know. I don't know, man.

I grew up in America and Nigeria.
That makes me Dominican. Maybe.

I had this other homeboy, Umbeka.
He was similar to me but different.

He came to America from
Nigeria at, like, ten years old.

He didn't know what
black stereotypes were.

So kids be fucking with him,

and he had no idea what
they were talking about.

This kid walked up to him like,

"Bet you like that
watermelon, don't ya?"

"Yes.

Pretty delicious."

They stopped fucking
with him after that.

I think that's my time. My
name is Odinaka. Good night.

All right. Odinaka!

The bookstore is closed. We
got to get out of here, guys.

Send me a message? We'll make up.

- What's up?
- You going to Cole's?

I got to go Uber tonight, yeah.

- All right.
- Unfortunately.

- I'll see you later.
- Okay. See ya.

A lot of the bar culture in
the US is not about dancing.

- Yeah.
- And...

You find a bar, it's like,
"This place is perfect.

I just wish there was an actual
space to dance and feel comfortable."

Yeah. And you can really get a sense

for somebody's energy
by dancing with them.

I feel you with that, for sure.

I should never have done
journalism. I know that.

I should have been a doctor or lawyer.

- And be like other Indian dudes?
- Yeah.

- That's what I should have done, 100%.
- Followed that path?

I should have just sold out.

Yeah. I guess like
most immigrant parents.

Doctor, lawyer, engineer.

- Your parents are happy with comedy?
- Hell, no.

You kidding me? No, they
hate that I do this shit.

I might as well be smoking
crack to my parents.

Shit.

The great thing about being
confirmed in the Catholic church,

I can do whatever I want for years
and then just ask for forgiveness,

and I go to heaven while most
of you burn in hell forever.

That's a joke, you guys.

Nigeria has some shit I've never
seen. It had a bounce with it.

It had its own axis.

Like, "I'm going to the market.
I'm going to the market."

It's like they was
carrying their ancestors.

"I'm going to the market. We are
going to the market. We! All of us!"

Aw, shit. I can barely pick it up.

Y'all saw that bullshit
attempt I just made.

I got a minute. I'm already done, huh?

- What is it, 30 seconds?
- You have 20 seconds.

How do I land this?

I...

Shit, man.

Yeah.

I think that's it. Is
that it? I think that's it.

Okay, I'm done.

Are you funny?

Man, that question.
I'm like... I mean...

What's your stand up about?

I guess I'm autobiographical.

I tell stories about growing
up in America and Nigeria

and not fitting in either.

- Nice.
- Yeah.

Yeah, pretty much.

What about you? What do you do?

Well, I also write about myself.

So, equally narcissistic.

Yes. Okay. Birds of
a feather. Same boat.

Yeah. I write a lot of essays.

They tend to deal with sexuality and...

contemporary feminism.

Or criticizing contemporary
feminism more recently these days.

Criticize contemporary
feminism? What do you mean?

Um... I go on a lot of angry rants

where I basically critique
female sexual victimization,

which I think is increasingly a
central part of certain factions

of the feminist movement.

- Yeah.
- So I pretty much...

I basically write, like, a
ton of pro-slut manifestos,

sort of disguised as personal essays
that are meant to be entertaining.

Okay. That sounds really dope, actually.

I'll send you a link.

For sure. I'd love to see that.

Thank you.

- Oh! Hi, there.
- How are you doing?

- How are you?
- Good.

- You look fabulous.
- Thank you. You, too.

I like purple.

So good to see you.

I have some projects. I've
got some irons in the fire.

Just waiting for one of them to get hot.

TV stuff?

Yeah. Yeah, TV.

Mostly TV. What's the
story with your writing?

- It's good.
- Yeah.

Going.

Is it true you're never
safe around a writer?

That might be true, actually.

I'm that person that writes things
down when people say funny stuff.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

You should get your notebook
out right now, 'cause...

So, a friend told me that you're allowed

to be given $14,000 a
year, tax free, as a gift.

So, I've had,

actually, I've had two
clients give me $14,000 checks.

And I paid them 14 grand in cash.

Yeah. So I've laundered,
successfully, $28,000.

Wow.

Oh!

- You deserve that?
- I've been bad.

- Really?
- Yeah. Ow...

- Oh.
- Oh.

Mmm.

Mm-hmm. Slowly. Slowly.

You can go slower.

So bad.

Yeah.

- Yeah?
- Uh-huh.

Good morning. Happy Wednesday. Today
there will be bridge lifts, okay?

Sales people, make sure you
guys are communicating as usual.

Charlie, 2008 will start
at Michigan Avenue Bridge.

I think there were a couple
of switches on the sheets.

Charlie, 805 should be on there.

Have a great day out
there. Do what you do best.

- All right, guys. Let's go.
- All right.

- Hi!
- Hey. How you doing?

- Good morning.
- He has the tickets.

Thanks, man.

We are coming up on
where Chicago started,

at this intersection.

Michigan and Whacker is
where Fort Dearborn was.

It's the military base
that preceded Chicago.

Jean-Baptist-Point Du
Sable was here before that.

Is it really a mile long?

The Magnificent Mile? No, no.

It's called the Magnificent Mile,

but it's actually about
three-quarters of a mile.

A marketing guy came up
with the term. Real catchy.

Kosciuszko.

There's a bridge in New York
named after the same guy.

Apparently, he was a big deal.

This guy with the gyroscope?

Copernicus. He was the first guy
to tell us that the world is round.

Press the button. You
know how to do that?

I can press a button.

But thank you, sir. I appreciate it.

All right. One, two, three... wow!

One crazy one. One, two, three...

Love it. All right.

- Thank you. Appreciate it.
- Great tour.

Thanks. Appreciate it.

Thank you. I appreciate it. Thanks.

This is it.

- It's nice.
- Thank you.

Nice rug.

Do you want a drink?

- Yeah. I'd love one, actually.
- Okay.

You look like someone that
would have created an app.

Is it cause I'm Indian?

- I didn't mean it like that.
- I'm kidding.

You just were born and
are apparently rich.

That's fair enough.

I was hoping that we could
not have too much touching.

Okay. Yeah.

- I have a girlfriend.
- Okay.

And I can't cheat on her. So...

I was kind of hoping, you know...

It's gonna sound so...
Okay, I watch porn,

and that's not cheating.

And so I was hoping this could be
like porn but, like, in real life.

Like, IRL porn. You know?

- I can make that happen for you.
- Okay.

Okay, no. No, no, no.

Can't be kissing you.

You're leaving me hanging a little bit.

I like to be spanked.

- Oh, my God.
- Please.

- No. No.
- Please.

I don't know what I'm doing. Where am I?

- Hey, no. Calm down.
- I'm just...

Doing this in a respectful
way with a neutral person,

who doesn't have your phone number,
is not going to blow up your phone,

who's not gonna expect
anything from you.

- No emotional attachment.
- Yeah.

Is a positive thing because...

otherwise, you're just gonna
get to a breaking point,

and you're gonna end your relationship.

- Physically, I want to continue.
- Yeah.

Emotionally, it's
probably not a good idea.

Oh, my God.

- I'm gonna come.
- Oh, my God.

I want you to. I'm gonna come with you.

- Hey.
- Are you Odika?

- Odinaka.
- Odinaka?

Yeah, that's me.

You do decently, driving an Uber?

Uh, it's all right. You
know, I pay my bills.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, I do this,

and I got this other job
where I give tours of the city.

I'm a City of Chicago tour guide.

Between those two things,
uh, it balances out.

There's not been a thousand
deaths in a year since then.

Are they tearing down all the
projects like they are in Atlanta?

- They're gone.
- They're gone, right?

They're done. It's been a
decade. There's, like, three left.

Where are all the poor people?

"Where the poor people?"

What were you gonna say? Because
you said, "Where are all the... "

and then you said, "poor
people." You adjusted.

- That's not true. That's not true.
- You adjusted.

- Come on, Atlanta, you ain't fooling me.
- You're right.

I'm really uncomfortable in this
ride and the fact that you have a car.

I was surprised.

No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I don't know what I
thought I'd prove to myself,

that I could do a play in Chicago.

But it's ended up being just kind of,

like, a very deep
exercise in loneliness.

I don't mean to laugh.

No, it's okay. I'm sort
of outside of rehearsals.

I'm just kind of in this condo
watching TV and jerking off and...

Yeah.

Is that okay?

You have a nice body.

Such a contraption.

I know. Too much clothes.

Whoa!

You're so strong.

I feel lucky to be alive now,

because being my size even five,
seven years ago was not cool.

It was, like, pro-ano times.

- What'd you say?
- Pro-ano.

Like pro-anorexia?

And I'm like, "Word.
This is working for me."

Yeah, it's working for me.

It's working for you? Okay. I'm glad.

It's for you.

Good spanking.

"Hey, Doritos! This
is some bullshit, man.

I get my six-year-old
these chips,

now y'all stuffing the
gay agenda down his throat

and he'll grow up to suck dick."

I was like, "Wait a minute, sir.

That's not how snacks work at all."

I was watching sci-fi with my ex.

And he's cleaning up around the house.

He picks up some of my hairs.

I've never seen this
man throw the hairs away.

And I'm like, sci-fi. This is
the part where I get cloned.

I'm about to get cloned, right?

First black woman ever cloned.

What a dubious honor,
considering the circumstances,

but I'll take it.

Then I'm like, "Rebecca,
joke's on him. This is a weave."

It's gonna be a motherfucking horse.

Victory. I consider that a victory.

I'm so happy to bring this guy up.

He's one of the funniest in this city.

So just turn up right
now for Odinaka Ezeokoli.

Yo. What's up? How we doing?

- Doing good?
- Yeah.

Are you hungry? Maybe we
get a drink and then go out.

- Yeah, that sounds great.
- Yeah?

Yeah, I'm down.

Steak, you eat steak?

- I eat whatever you want to eat, man.
- Okay.

- Guys, how you doing?
- What's up, Cole?

Whatever the gentleman would like.

- I'll have a Negra Modelo.
- Sure. Got it.

Negroni?

- I'll make it.
- Thanks.

- Hey!
- Hi. How are you?

- Thanks for coming.
- Wow! This is kind of amazing.

- You liked my doorman?
- Yeah.

- I loved your doorman.
- Good view.

What?

- It's good, right?
- How did you do...

How do you do this?

You want some tea? I just made some.

So you've written
screenplays and sold them

and you're collecting residuals
and you just didn't want to tell me?

Oh, yeah. I wish. Um...

No. So...

Yeah, the money situation, I mean...

I...

I don't usually tell people this,
but I feel like you're non-judgmental

or that you are judgmental,
but in the right way.

But I'm basically a hooker.

Yeah.

- Wait. Are...
- Reveal!

You're a...

That's such a...

- Digest.
- Yeah.

Do you have an agency?

Are you working through an agency or...

- No. I'm independent.
- Okay.

I make all the money myself.

I worked at an agency
for a couple of months,

and I was like, "This is crazy."

- 'Cause they take half of the money.
- Yes.

Yes. So, why am I
paying some creepy guy?

And how are you safe?

You know what I mean?

- How do you vet people?
- Vet people?

So, there's an unexpected
system of support

within the industry of girls.

I don't see any people

who don't have references of
other people who they've seen.

- Does that make sense?
- Yeah.

If a guy wants to
see me, he e-mails me.

And I'm like, "Do you have any
references of other girls you've seen?"

He would send me their sites

so I can see they're real people.

And then I e-mail them directly
and say, "Have you seen Ted?"

Then they're like,
"Yeah, he's 35 and safe."

- And he's not an ax murderer.
- Right. Literally, yeah.

Or they'll be like, "Yes, but
beware, he's really overweight."

- "Here's the thing about Ted."
- Yes, exactly.

- And it's really cool.
- Ted.

Yes. Ted. Everyone knows a Ted.

You're blowing people,
but you're also being like,

"Tell me about your problems.
What's the thing with your divorce?

That's so-and-so crazy about your
job. What about the stock market?"

I know so much about the stock market.

Do you mean it?

I imagine that you would
be genuinely comforting.

- Are you? Or do they say, "You're cold."
- Yeah.

No.

I don't know you well enough to know.

I'm not cold.

That's the amazing thing about

the way that sex workers
are portrayed in the media.

They're always cold, robotic monsters.

Like, in order to fuck people for money,

you must be an emotionless robot person.

But the reality is that the
most successful sex workers

are the opposite because you
have to make someone feel good.

Now, have you told
men that you're dating?

It doesn't go over well.

Tell me a little bit
about this TV project.

Yeah. Well, you saw my story.

I grew up here in the States, and
I went to high school in Nigeria.

'Cause my parents wanted
us to know where we're from.

Meet our grandparents,
basic shit like that.

Learn the language.

And it's like putting
that journey on TV.

Being a kid in America, going
to boarding school in Nigeria,

and I guess I would think about it
as like Freaks and Geeks in Nigeria.

In a Nigerian boarding
school with all Nigerian kids.

You're in the school,
you're in that world,

and that world is
foreign to the audience,

but it's also foreign to
the main guy, who's there.

You have a voice. You have a
unique, fresh, original voice.

And I can't create that.

I can only add structure, you know?

I can help with people.
I can bring in people.

I can bring in a director.

I can bring in writers, but
I'm sorry, I'm already...

This is what I do. I'm
already jumping into things.

Yeah. You seem real
comfortable doing that jumping.

Yeah. You're really into it.

I always say that comedians are
like the canary in the coal mine.

- Like artists, except they're louder.
- Uh-huh.

And they're the ones
that we have to listen to.

'Cause it's a funny way of
being serious. Isn't that what...

Yeah. I guess it's what I'd say.

Anyhow, I'm getting too
philosophical, but you get my meaning.

- No, I appreciate the nice things, man.
- Yeah.

Before we go any further, should
I be dealing with your agent?

If I'm interested in...

I don't have an agent.

No, it's always just me. Yeah.

All right, well, so, we can be
in touch more directly, then.

Yeah, I'm open.

- Yeah. Okay.
- Yeah. Yeah.

Thank you. Thanks.

- She likes you.
- Please.

- Did you get her number?
- I did not.

It's good to see you.
What brought you here?

Just got a few projects. A few meetings.

Yeah. I met with this Nigerian comic

that I've been corresponding
with, and he's good.

He's gonna be at an open mic
next door that I'm gonna go to.

- This open mic?
- Right.

I know this open mic.

I've been thinking about doing it.

- That's so weird. Yeah.
- Really?

Maybe I'll meet you guys,
right? I mean, I could...

If you want to do it, you should do it.

- Maybe I'll do it.
- Do it.

- I should do it.
- That'll be fun.

Yeah, I have had a lot of
things that I want to say.

And maybe that would be a good place to.

- Annabelle Jones, stand-up comedian?
- No.

- We're going to meet the grandparents.
- The grandparents.

- He's going to meet his grandparents.
- Yeah. It's a he?

I'm going to meet them too

because it's the first
time they are grandparents,

so I have no idea how they're gonna be.

- They're gonna change up.
- Oh, my God.

- I'm sure they're super excited.
- Mm-hmm.

So, your husband's not...
Is he already there?

- You gonna meet him there...
- No.

No, no, no. He's working a lot here.

Okay.

- He's, like, so busy, all the time.
- Yeah.

He wanted to go, but it's
almost impossible for him.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Hey, one, two.

One, two. Can y'all hear me in the back?

One, two. One, two.

- Is that... Hey!
- Hey!

Yo, Jay.

- Hey.
- Yo.

- How you doing?
- Doing good.

- What's happening?
- How you been?

- I've been great.
- Glad to see you. This is Annabelle.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Annabelle Jones, nice to meet you.

What's up, Annabelle?

- Nice to meet you.
- You, too.

I've heard a lot about your stuff.

- It's really funny. It's nice to meet you.
- Cool. Thanks.

So I think I want to go
up tonight. Is that okay?

- You want to sign up?
- I think so.

- It's okay?
- Definitely. That's why we're here.

- There's room?
- Definitely.

I've never done it before.

Nah, you good.

I don't want to harsh anybody's mellow.

That's not gonna happen.

It's gonna be great.

- Hey, hi.
- Hey.

- It's so good to see you.
- Same.

Thank you for coming.

I'm very excited to hear your rant.

So glad you're here.

- Are you prepared?
- No.

- Perfect.
- No, I'm not. Not at all.

- You're going to be funny.
- Okay.

Jay. Jay, Jay. This
is my new friend Sally.

- Nice to meet you.
- Sally.

And this is OD. OD, Sally.

- Hey. Sally, what's up?
- Uber!

This is my new friend Sally.
What are you talking about?

He drove me in an Uber,
like, three days ago.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Amazing!

We, like, slit our wrists
and the blood. All that stuff.

It's a small world.

And you're not dating, are you?

- No. No.
- Okay.

- No, no, no.
- No, we're old friends. No.

- All right.
- Okay.

Hate speech is free speech, you fuckers.

Like, I have to be free to hate people.

I'm not gonna like everybody.

Stop telling my... I'm,
like, don't tell me...

I'm gonna calm down for a second.

What is this, "Where's
the moment of consent?"

Have you guys heard that?
Have you men dealt with this?

Has any woman ever accused you of rape?

It happens all the time now.

I won't think you're a rapist.

My dad never said, "I want
to dance at your wedding."

It was like, "What are you
going to do with your life?"

It was, like, I got to have a career.

And what I was told is that I
could have a career and kids.

It'll all just happen, you know.

And it doesn't. Not for everybody.

But, man-spreading.
Mansplaining, we covered.

- Get off. Now get off.
- What?

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