Original subtitles

.

- Morning. - Morning, Doctor.

- Morning, Frances. - He wants to see you now.

He's upset, right?

Right.

KNOCK ON DOOR Come in.

Hi, Dad.

Don't "hi, Dad" me.

I'm late. I'm sorry. It couldn't be helped.

I saw Bo Youngstreet.

He owns a couple dozen oil wells outside Tulsa.

Sit down.

He's putting together a new development deal,

a brand-new syndicate.

It has very good possibilities.

Wesley, what do you do for a living?

Sir?

I know what's on our door, Wesley Corman, DDS,

but I see you so seldom,

I thought you had another profession.

- I'm sorry. - Which isn't a bad idea,

because as a dentist, you're incompetent.

For five years, you've been my son-in-law

and junior associate.

In both areas, you've been a crashing failure.

I only put up with you because my daughter,

misguided though she was, loved you.

Well, now, happily, that condition is just about ended.

What are you talking about?

Don't look so surprised.

I put Lydia in touch with a divorce attorney.

In weeks, your relationship will be terminated.

We have our problems

like every other married couple,

but if divorce was mentioned, she wasn't serious.

Serious? She's damn serious and so am I.

You're a compulsive gambler,

but I have paid your last gambling debt,

bailed you out of your last tight spot.

Let me show you something.

I have here $220,000 of your IOUs to me.

All I've done is try to develop outside interests

so Lydia and I aren't dependent upon you.

Dependent on me? Ha ha.

One race horse, $20,000.

Died of heart failure second time out of gate, and he was uninsured.

That big land development deal down in Ensenada,

$100,000 down the drain.

I have a list of gambling debts I paid for you

from Las Vegas to Atlantic City.

Well, I intend to collect.

Sir...

I think you realise that I won't be able to make it

if you hold me to those notes.

Wesley, you're amazing.

You knew this was coming for some time now,

and yet you couldn't face it, could you?

Well...

..no more, my friend.

No more.

Aren't you forgetting six years ago

I saved your daughter's life?

That's not going to work.

You have until the end of this month

to take your practice and get out of here.

Do you understand me?

'Hello.'

Hi, Adam. Wesley.

Good. How are you?

'I'm in good shape.'

- I need a favour. - 'How much?'

- I don't need to borrow more money. - 'Yeah, sure.'

I expect to pay you back next week.

I'm calling to ask you to change your 2.00 to 12.30.

Can you do that?

'Yeah. It's no problem.'

Terrific.

Great. Uh, yeah, 12.30 sharp.

Uh-huh. I'll see you then.

Adam, thanks. You saved my life.

'No big deal.'

SPLASH

TELEPHONE BUZZES

Yes, Doctor?

Frances, did I mention

Adam Evans called me last night

to cancel his 2.00?

No, you didn't.

'I'm sorry. He did.'

As consolation, you can take an early lunch.

Well, thank you, sir.

'Have a good time.'

You, too.

- Hi. - Hello.

Look, I'll only be a few minutes,

so, er, park up front.

Sure. Thanks a lot.

I agree. Adam Evans.

- Adam Evans! - Oh, my God!

Hi, ladies.

Sure. I'd be glad to.

This is so exciting.

We're so glad to meet you in person.

Oh! Thank you.

Have a good day, ladies.

All right!

BELL RINGS

- Hey, Wes. - Right on time. Come in.

You can hang your jacket on the door.

I appreciate your coming in early.

No problem. Where are my girls?

Out sick. You believe that?

Is that a fact?

Would have cancelled your appointment

if you weren't going to Cannes.

Glad you didn't.

You starting a new film or going on vacation?

I'm going to the Film Festival.

Sounds like a good time.

We're going to have fun.

I'll try not to make you late for the plane.

All right, Senor, lower left bicuspid.

You got a lot of decay,

but I think the crown needs immediate attention.

OK, you're the doc.

All right, let's put some light on you...

and we'll numb you up here.

Chew down on that a second.

All right. You don't mind needles, do you? Oh, no.

- Of course not. - Aah!

Easy goes.

- Heard any good jokes lately? - Ha ha ha.

Easy. Easy.

Almost there.

Ahh. Great.

That's not too bad.

Wake me when you're done.

Let's have a look.

- Feel that? - Uh-uh.

Good.

Yeah, she's loose.

Pull her right out of there.

There you go.

Didn't hurt, did it?

Uh-uh. No.

Don't you go anywhere. I'll be right back.

All righty.

- Did it? - Yep.

Now we...slap a little concrete on here...

..and...pop her in.

OK.

Bite down on that.

And, er...that's better than the original.

Good.

Stay away from hot liquids till the novocaine wears off.

- Got you. - When you get back, let's have dinner.

Lydia would love to hear about the trip.

Didn't you meet Lydia at the Bergman party?

Yeah, I think I did.

She's a big fan of yours.

She's got cassettes of all the pictures.

It's nice to have at least one.

Thanks again, Wes.

Take care.

Hi. Do you like what you see? I do.

I didn't hear your car.

At those prices, you're not supposed to.

- Did you hear from your father? - He called.

So you heard the good news.

Wesley, don't.

Sometimes you get the gold mine, sometimes you don't.

We agreed it would be best.

No, I never did.

You know how much I've always loved you.

No, I don't know that.

Maybe if you had shown...

I tried. I did, in my own way.

If it wasn't enough, then so be it.

After what happened to your first husband,

when you needed help,

I knew I was a crutch,

but I guess the reality is,

I just happened to be there.

I just wasn't the right guy.

Wesley...

I've been lonely for a very long time.

And I suppose you'll find out sooner or later...

What, another guy?

Yes.

- He is... - I don't want to know his name.

I think you're grown-up enough...

No. After the divorce is final, fine,

but don't cut me into little pieces now.

All right.

Lydia...

I know you've had a rough time.

I don't want to make it more difficult.

I want you to know if anything happens,

if you change your mind,

if this guy isn't what you want him to be,

I'll be there for you. I always will.

Thank you.

Lydia, I just want you to know I love you.

The game's at John Valentine's.

I'll be there if you need me.

Don't forget to take your medicine.

I won't.

RING

- Hello. - Hi.

Are you alone?

He just left.

Will he be back soon?

No, not until late,

which gives me time to convince you

to take me with you.

'I'll be waiting.'

I got nothing but a flush.

I think a full house beats a flush.

Aww. Do you believe this guy? Aww.

It's amazing.

It's 9.00. I'm already getting killed.

The evening is young. Hang in there.

Deal the cards, punky.

All right, ante up.

He said he didn't want to know anything about us.

You sure he doesn't know about us already?

You don't know Wesley.

If Wesley can't bet on it, he's not interested.

That's too bad.

I'd prefer if everything was in the open.

I would, too.

It will be soon, thank God.

Thank God.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Is it up to par?

Mmm.

Delicious.

You make the best margarita I ever had.

Be kind to me, girl.

Down and dirty.

Be there.

OK, aces bet.

I'm in for 50.

IMITATING JOHN WAYNE: Sorry, pilgrim.

I got to see that and raise 100.

Uh, fold.

And the host is in.

I'm in.

Call.

I'll call and raise it 50.

On what? You got zip.

- Who asked you? - Excuse me for living.

- I call. - Uh-oh.

Take me to Cannes with you.

Cause talk.

Nasty talk, you still being married.

Besides, it's only for five days.

Five very, very long, long days.

When I get back,

you'll have done what you have to do,

and we'll have the rest of our lives.

- I'm in for 100. - I call.

AS WOODY ALLEN: I can't believe it.

Anybody who'd play a hand like this

has to be a total masochist.

I don't think so.

Yeah, call.

I think I'll raise to 300.

Come on. Ooh. Ooh.

How do you like them apples?

Ooh. Ooh.

Oh!

- Oh! - Adam?

- Adam? - Ugh!

Adam?

Adam! Adam!

Adam, don't die!

Adam, don't die! You can't die!

Too rich for me. I fold.

AS GEORGE BUSH: My fellow Americans,

I thought this was supposed to be a kinder, gentler game.

Call.

Adam! Don't die! Adam!

Too expensive.

RONALD REAGAN: Well, it's just you and me, Nancy.

Adam!

I forgot. You were in, too, right, Wesley?

You are still in, aren't you, because I have no recollection.

TELEPHONE RINGS Excuse me.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm in.

RING

- Yeah? - Help! It's an emergency!

It's a heart attack!

The address is 322...

Stop yelling. I can't understand.

Quick. Please hurry. It's a heart attack.

Please, help me. Help.

OK. Who is this?

Lydia Corman.

Just a minute. Here's Wesley.

Come quick! Help!

Lydia, what's happened?

Hurry! Please hurry!

Adam? Adam!

SHE SOBS

Lydia?

David, let's go.

Sorry, guys.

Pool house!

Lydia.

Lydia?

Oh, my God.

What happened, honey?

It's all right.

It's all right.

He's dead.

Did you call 911?

Did you call the police?

He-he's dead.

Just like Tony.

- What are you doing? - Calling 911.

Don't be a fool.

He's dead.

Forget him. I'm thinking of your sister, David.

Remember seven years ago?

What choice do we have?

He died like Tony.

We got to move the body.

Get her upstairs. I'll get him dressed.

SHE CRIES

ENGINE STARTS

All clear?

OK.

Hold that straight.

HORN HONKS

HORN HONKS

HORN HONKS

What are you doing?

Trying to figure out how it works.

Those things are for cops.

Yeah. Well, I'm a cop.

Oh, you're a cop. I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Hi. Says he's a cop.

Yeah, he's a cop.

Yeah, 22 years on the force.

On the force 22 years.

22 years, huh?

I never had a chance to work this thing before.

What's he doing now?

What's the problem?

No, no. No problem, officer.

I'm with the force. Lieutenant Columbo.

I'm sorry, Lieutenant.

That bubble. Where do you connect those things?

Plug that in your cigarette lighter.

Oh, the cigarette lighter.

The cigarette lighter doesn't work.

Come on. I'll give you an escort.

Oh, thanks. Believe it or not,

22 years on the force,

I never had to use one of those before. Oh.

Move it over.

Secure that rope down there.

One parking stub.

Oh. Right. Thanks.

I'd check where it's from,

the day it was issued, and the time.

You got it, Lieutenant.

Want some coffee, Lieutenant?

Just had some. Got a match?

No. I don't smoke.

What's the story here?

The ambulance boys think it was a coronary.

Know who this is?

No, who is he?

Could we have him a minute, guys, please?

Thank you. Take a look at him.

- Adam Evans. - You've seen him in movies, right?

Yeah. You know, just Saturday night, my wife ran...

We ran a picture of his.

It was good, too.

He was in this helicopter, shooting. What a shame.

One minute you're on top of the heap,

girls love you, lots of bucks.

Next minute, cancelled by the grim reaper.

Very well put, Sergeant.

Listen, have a medical examiner

find out what this little white speck is

here on his lip.

Yeah, gotcha. OK, guys. You can have him.

OK, let's go.

Clear the way.

Excuse me. Got a match?

Compliments of Adam Evans.

Found them in his shirt pocket.

When you fellas moved the body,

did you touch anything?

I mean, like the gear shift?

We didn't touch a thing.

No? Thanks very much.

Sure.

DOORBELL CHIMES

Can I help you?

Sorry to disturb you so early.

- Lieutenant Columbo, police. - Yeah?

It's freezing out here. Could I come in?

This coat doesn't have a lining.

Yeah, sure.

I hate to be the bearer of sad tidings,

but there's been an accident.

Friend of yours, I think.

Adam Evans, the actor?

Well, they found him this morning

up on Mulholland, dead.

Oh, no.

Oh, my God.

Wh-a car accident?

They suspect a heart attack, sir.

Heart attack?

I can't believe that.

If you have a moment,

could I ask a few questions?

Uh...yeah, sure.

Come on in.

Would you like a cup of coffee, Lieutenant?

Sure could use one.

How about a bagel?

I don't want to put you out.

No trouble. How do you take it?

A touch of cream.

Cream's in the fridge. Help yourself.

Mr Evans was a good friend of yours?

He was a friend. A patient.

Then he did have trouble with his heart.

I'm a dentist, not a doctor.

Oh. His dentist. Huh.

Sounds like I should apologise for something.

Well, dentists, they got to live, too, I suppose.

How was he feeling last night?

What's that?

I said, how was he feeling last night, sir,

when he was here?

Any problems, chest pains, anything like that?

What makes you think he was here last night?

Simple. We found these matches in his shirt pocket.

Oh. Well, he could've picked those up any time.

Oh. Then he was a friend.

I mean, he's been here as a guest.

Yeah. He wasn't exactly a close friend.

We met him at a party.

Lydia's a big fan of his.

But he wasn't here last night?

Not that I know of, Lieutenant.

But I wasn't here. I was playing poker.

I left here about 8.00.

I don't remember what time I got back,

but I didn't see Adam.

Very good.

Oh, what's that?

These bagels are very good.

Thanks. Would you like another?

May I, sir? I didn't have any breakfast.

Sure. Help yourself. Go ahead.

Lieutenant, do you always chew

on one side of your mouth?

No. When you told me what you did,

it reminded me I have this sensitive tooth

on the left side.

Cavity, maybe. I ignore it.

Not very smart of you, Lieutenant.

Well, I can't stand drilling.

Not the drilling so much.

I can't stand the sound.

Thinking about it makes me ill.

Come see me sometime.

I use an ultrasonic drill.

Purrs like a kitten. You won't feel a thing.

Now, that's just what I need. One of those.

I'd prefer you didn't speak to my wife right now.

I'll break the news.

You see, she's got this heart condition.

Speak to your wife?

The thought never entered my mind.

This is routine. You said Mr Evans wasn't here.

That's all I need.

I see.

I'm just checking for the record. You understand.

It's so sad, isn't it?

Young guy like Adam, dying so unexpectedly.

I had a cousin once, about the same age.

Didn't smoke, he didn't drink,

worked out a couple times a week.

Just walking along the street...

just like that.

Ooh. Heart attack?

He got run over by a bakery truck.

I want to thank you for the bagels and coffee.

Uh, I got everything I need.

Appreciate the time.

Glad I could help. I'll show you out.

That was Lieutenant Columbo from the police.

He wanted to know if Adam was here last night.

What did you tell him?

I said that he wasn't.

The only ones who know what happened

are you, me, David, and Lydia. If we stick together,

nobody'll suspect her of anything.

Suspect her? Of what?

What could they possibly suspect her of?

Dad, don't worry. Whatever happens, we'll stick by her.

It'll be all right.

Wesley?

Yes?

- Hi. - Darling.

What have I done?

Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

Mmm.

I love you.

Wesley.

I want to express my gratitude.

And I'm sorry that I misjudged you.

I will always be indebted to you...

to both of you.

Interesting, Lieutenant. This man's heart didn't attack him.

What did?

Medicine you take to prevent heart attacks.

- Come again? - Digitalis.

He had a bad heart and took too much?

There was nothing wrong with his heart.

But heart medicine killed him?

"Cause of death - ventricular arrhythmia,

"induced by a massive overdose of digitalis."

Normal dose is around one milligram.

We found much more than that in his body.

About twice the amount needed to kill him.

How much is a milligram?

Couple grains of salt.

You're saying all it took to kill this man

was the equivalent of a dozen or so grains of salt?

That's close enough.

How long did it take to kill him?

Quick. A minute. Maybe two.

Hmm.

- Any marks on his body? - 57.

57!

Minor mutilations and dilapidations.

Uh, "lesions, lacerations,

"abrasions, incisions, contusions."

The man made action movies. Did his own stunts.

But, here. Let me show you.

The only new wound we found

was a gash inside the mouth

on the right cheek.

Here, take a look.

Any idea what caused that?

- Predeath convulsions, maybe. - Convulsions.

Doc, can I make a copy of this report?

Help yourself.

Oh, one more thing, doctor.

That little white speck on the corner of his mouth,

the size of a grain of salt - was that digitalis?

No. That was salt.

Salt?

Regular salt?

Yeah. You know, that stuff you put on food.

This says his stomach was empty.

He didn't eat since breakfast.

His last meal, yeah.

He had, er, .07 alcohol in his blood.

He had a drink before he died.

That's not all he had.

Does that mean what I think it means?

You mean he was...

Can you think of a better way to go?

DOORBELL CHIMES

- Yes, Lieutenant? - I'm surprised you're here.

I thought you'd be at the office.

Can I help you?

Well, actually, my business is with Mrs Corman.

What kind of business?

It's really rather personal.

It'll just take a minute.

No, I'm sorry. Mrs Corman's not feeling very well.

She's very upset over Adam's death.

Uh-huh.

Unless you think it's absolutely necessary.

Well, I'm afraid it is, sir.

Lieutenant, I'm Dr Horace Sherwin, Lydia's father.

I'm sorry, Lydia isn't well.

Your business will have to wait.

Let me ask her just one question. Then I'll leave.

What would that be?

If Mr Evans dropped by last night.

I told you he wasn't here.

You said you didn't know because you weren't here.

Well, he wasn't here.

Were you here, sir?

No.

Then how do you know?

Lydia didn't say so.

Did you ask her?

I don't have to ask her.

Ask her privately. Do it.

Just tell me what she says.

I just need an answer.

I know, Lieutenant. You're just doing your job.

Thank you, sir. I appreciate that.

Lieutenant. Adam Evans was not here.

Did she speak to him on the telephone yesterday, sir?

No. She said no.

The telephone records indicate

that they spoke five times.

Five times?

There were five calls.

Oh, my God.

I'm going to have to mention it.

Uh, doctor.

The phone records indicate

that your daughter spoke to Mr Evans

five times yesterday.

So? The man died of a heart attack.

Mr Evans was murdered,

poisoned by some kind of medicine.

- Poisoned! - That's insane.

Lydia, this must be terrible for you.

I love you. I'll always be there for you.

I have to know where he was last night.

Don't answer.

He was here.

Thank you, ma'am.

Did he have a drink?

She's not answering any more questions.

She can't say if he had a drink?

She's not answering!

He had a drink.

- A margarita? - Yes.

I thought so.

Well, how did you know?

He had a salt grain on his lip

and alcohol in his stomach.

Only margaritas have those two ingredients.

Where did he have it?

In there.

Who made the margarita, ma'am?

I did.

He said I made the best margaritas in the world.

Ah, yes, ma'am.

- And this was the tequila. - Yes.

Was the bottle full when you opened it? Yes.

- This is the blender? - Yes.

What did you drink the margaritas out of, ma'am?

Over there. The glass.

Oh, there's only one glass.

Did you share the drink, ma'am?

No. I can't drink.

So there was only one glass,

and this was it, and it was his.

I'd like to have the lab examine these...

er, unless there's an objection.

And if there is?

I'd have to get a court order.

You don't really believe

you'll find poison in there?

I certainly hope not, sir.

Your husband mentioned your heart condition.

- Do you take any medication? - Yes.

Is that it I see in your hand?

May I see it?

Thank you very much. That's all for now.

I'll call the lab and be leaving when they arrive.

I hope it's the last time I have to bother you.

From your mouth to God's ear, Lieutenant.

Oh, er, one more question, ma'am.

After Mr Evans had his drink...

how much longer was he still here?

Just a few minutes, and then he was gone.

Gone.

No poison in the tequila bottle.

I'll have the results of the glass soon.

Your handkerchief was full of blue blotches?

Yeah, and there were people there.

It was embarrassing.

Better check with your wife.

I'm going to do that.

Thank God it's only on the handkerchief.

But there was poison in the glass and the blender.

There was poison in the glass and the blender.

And Mrs Corman said the bottle was full when she opened it.

- Got a beaker? - Yeah.

And full it contains 750 millilitres.

Are these markings millilitres?

Right.

Well... that's about 630.

630 from 750, that's 120.

How much is that in ounces?

About 4.

Four?

Hmm.

I'm going to leave this here with you, Ned.

- All right. - And thanks very much.

Mm-hmm.

Nice shirt.

Right.

Can I help you?

May I speak to Dr Corman, please?

- Do you have an appointment? - No, Ma'am.

Are you in pain?

I'm not here about my teeth.

Why are you whispering?

Um, police. Lieutenant Columbo.

I'm whispering cos I don't want to alarm the patients.

They look nervous enough already.

That's very thoughtful of you, Lieutenant.

Let me just check with the doctor.

Doctor.

Doctor?

Yes, Frances.

Dr Corman, there's a Lieu...

There's a Lieutenant Columbo here to see you.

Send him right into my office.

You can wait right in here, Lieutenant.

Oh. Thank you very much, ma'am.

Oh, look at all these movie stars.

Yeah, look at this.

Dr Corman has many celebrities among his clientele.

Oh, Adam Evans.

What a shame. What a shame, huh?

I just saw one of his pictures.

It was in the desert.

He come out of the tank

with a big Japanese sword.

You see that one?

I missed that one.

Poor man. He was so young.

He lit up the place

when he came for an appointment.

He was due for some work the day he died.

You saw him then?

No. He didn't come in.

He never showed up?

Oh, no, Lieutenant.

Mr Evans was far too considerate

ever to be a no-show.

He called himself to cancel.

Thank you, Frances. I'll take it from here.

Sorry I don't have much time.

A patient is waiting.

I understand. Couple of questions.

Take a minute.

The lab examined the tequila bottle,

the blender, and the glass,

and, um, they found poison, sir.

Well, that's absurd.

The bottle was clean,

but the residue in the blender and the glass

was loaded with digitalis.

It's unbelievable.

Now, that's the same medicine your wife takes,

is that right, sir?

Yes.

Are you suggesting that my wife poisoned Adam Evans?

Was anyone else there, sir?

No, but I know she didn't kill him.

Can you think of anyone else

with a reason to kill him?

No, I can't, Lieutenant.

Adam was well liked.

I never heard a bad word spoken about him.

Now, he ran around with a lot of women.

Thank you, sir. That could be very helpful.

You got a patient waiting. Thanks very much.

I want to say before I go,

this case, I'll tell you,

this is a mishmash.

A fellow takes that amount of poison...

how does he get in his car,

drive all the way to Mulholland, and die?

Exactly what is it you're trying to say, Lieutenant?

I don't know, sir.

If he was poisoned at your house and died there...

the body could have been moved...

You seriously think that my wife killed Adam Evans,

drove him to Mulholland,

and pushed his car over the cliff?

No, sir. Want to know why?

Yes.

I don't see how she could have moved such a big man

from the pool house to the car without help.

Would you validate this for me, sir? My parking ticket.

Sure.

- I'm in for 200. - Me, too.

DOORBELL RINGS

Just a minute.

OK, I'll raise it 100.

RING

Coming.

Whatever you're selling, we don't want any.

I'm from the police.

The police?

We didn't call the police, did we?

No way. Uh-uh. Nah.

May I come in, sir?

We didn't call the police.

Were these people here the night before last?

- Yeah. - May I ask some questions?

- Be my guest. - Thank you.

My name is Lieutenant Columbo.

Excuse me for interrupting your game.

I have a few questions.

I'll try to get out of your hair...

You Nancy Walker?

That's right.

From the Rock Hudson show? Nancy Walker?

You got it.

What are you doing here?

I'm playing cards.

I'll be a monkey's uncle.

Sit down, Lieutenant.

Thank you very much.

Nice to meet you.

It's nice to meet you, ma'am.

Wait'll I tell my wife.

Yes, as I was saying,

I'd like to establish the whereabouts

of Wesley Corman the night before last.

He was here.

What time did he get here?

I don't know. When was it?

When I arrived, he was already complaining

he was down $2,000.

When I arrived at 8.30, he was here.

Yeah, that's about right.

I know this gentleman here.

Is he somebody, too?

Oh, yes. You bet.

Where do I know him from?

He's been gone a while. Lately, it's been Bakersfield.

Definitely Bakersfield. He's very big there.

He was in the Easter Day Parade there.

He played Rumpelstiltskin.

He took it to new dramatic heights.

No, on TV.

That was I Love Lucy.

I Love Lucy?

No, no.

You mean the neighbour?

No, the neighbour was stouter.

Yeah, that's Dom Deluise.

Dom Deluise? No.

I love Dom Deluise.

But, no, sir, you were...

What was it?

I did Bewitched.

By gum, Bewitched.

You were wonderful on that show, sir.

That was on Tuesdays.

Could you get on with the questions?

Oh, absolutely, sir. I'm sorry.

OK. Forgive me.

I'm safe in saying

he got here between 8.00, 8.30?

Yeah, that's right.

Why all this interest in Wesley?

Is this a serious problem?

This is Ron Cey.

- The baseball player. - That's right.

Who else is here?

Lieutenant, the questions and the game?

You want to speed it up, Chief?

I got a date to dance with the devil

in the pale moonlight, know what I mean?

Jack Nicholson.

I love this guy. He knows.

We should mention the phone call.

What phone call was that?

From Lydia.

Dr Corman's wife called?

She was hysterical.

She was yelling, "Help me. Heart attack."

They all heard her.

What was she saying?

Help me. Emergency.

About a heart attack. Very agitated.

You were on the phone, sir?

Yeah, I was trying to calm her down.

I said, "Who's this?"

She said, "Lydia Corman."

Then Wesley grabbed the phone.

Dr Corman grabbed the phone

when he heard it was his wife?

Right.

But she didn't ask for him?

Mm-hmm. That's right.

What did Dr Corman say

when he got on?

He said, "Lydia, what's wrong? What happened?"

That's it?

He shouted her name, but she'd already hung up.

And then he left?

- He and David. - Who's David?

David Sherwin, Wes' brother-in-law.

Lydia's brother was here?

He saw Wes' face

and knew Lydia was having trouble again.

Was she in trouble often? What do you mean?

If somebody filmed their marriage,

they'd call it One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, Part Two.

Until a couple months ago,

every time we had a game, she'd call twice.

Could you tell us what's happening?

I wish I knew, ma'am.

I wish I knew.

Thank you all very much for your time.

Uh...

interesting group.

David?

Thanks, Wes.

I'm worried about Lieutenant Columbo.

What about?

He knows the body was moved,

but that's not the worst.

He found poison in Adam's glass and the blender,

but not the bottle.

And the poison was digitalis.

Digitalis.

What happens when he finds out

what happened seven years ago?

And he will.

It's only a matter of time.

I don't know how the poison got in the glass,

but I'll bet Columbo thinks Lydia put it in there.

I mean, how else would it have gotten in?

The best thing to do

is to put her where no-one can find her,

like you did last time.

Last time she was sick. Mentally ill.

So was the person who put the poison in that glass.

TELEPHONE RINGS

Hello?

Yes.

Yes, David's here, Lieutenant.

HE SIGHS

It's 11.00.

All right. Barney's Beanery?

No, not Barney's Beanery.

We'll meet you at Club 5th Avenue in 30 minutes.

Thank you.

What does he want to talk to me about?

I don't know. Let me do the talking.

I won't say a word. Not a word.

There he is, in the raincoat.

Remember, he's a lot sharper than he appears.

Sir?

Sir?

Your coat.

My coat? Oh.

Oh, thank you very much.

Have a good evening, sir.

David Sherwin.

- How do you do. - Evening, Lieutenant.

How are you?

I've passed this place a hundred times.

I always thought, "It's interesting.

"I'd like to see it inside." Ever have that feeling?

Yes.

So tonight I pull up.

Guess who the valet parking guy is.

My wife's cousin.

Really?

Would you believe that?

My wife's cousin.

Small world.

It is, isn't it? And this poor guy gambles.

He should talk to you. He never wins.

He had a bar. He lost it.

His wife left him.

I don't have much sympathy for guys like that.

Right. May I ask you something?

Your wife, sir, made five calls to the victim

on the afternoon of his death.

What were those calls about?

Funny you should ask.

David and I were just talking about that.

Really?

Yeah.

The calls were about a restaurant in Cannes.

Five calls?

Yeah. She forgot the name of the place,

she had to call them back,

they had a mutual friend somewhere,

could he pick her up some perfume,

that kind of thing.

I see. I'm going to say something to both of you.

Don't take offence.

This isn't easy to say.

You two have been less than honest with me.

What do you mean?

I was at John Valentine's tonight,

and I spoke to the poker players.

I know your wife called.

I know she was hysterical.

Something about a heart attack?

You both ran home to help her.

How'd you know the game was at Valentine's?

From your answering service.

You left word with them.

Why did you conceal that information from me?

Tell him the truth?

We got no other choice.

David and I moved the body, Lieutenant. Right?

Yes, we did.

We did it to protect Lyd...

I don't mean she did something...

David, maybe I better explain.

Lieutenant, seven years ago, my wife's first husband

dropped dead in a hotel room on their wedding night.

They were in bed. They were making love.

Just like that, he was gone. Heart attack.

Lydia tried to save him.

She gave him her medicine, which as we know,

can kill somebody without the same heart condition she has.

You can understand why she's taken Adam's death so hard.

I'd do anything to protect her

from the torture she endured before.

That's why you moved the body,

because you didn't want any connection

between your wife and the victim.

Yes. I'll tell you the truth.

If it happened again, I'd do the exact same thing.

I think you would, too.

Absolutely.

I want to thank you for your candour.

Up until tonight, this whole case was a total mishmash.

But now that you've said what you just said,

things are beginning to clear up.

Thank you very much.

Not at all.

Thank you.

Beginning to clear up? What did he mean?

Hard to say.

Uh, Mrs Corman?

Mrs Corman?

Ma'am?

Yes?

Are you all right, ma'am?

What's happening? I...

I don't understand.

I don't understand about the poison.

Well, what about it, ma'am?

Wesley told me you found poison

in the margarita glass.

That's true.

Lieutenant, all I did was make a margarita.

I don't know anything about any poison.

Well, ma'am, there are two things

that we can't get around.

He died from digitalis,

and there was digitalis in the glass.

Actually, there are three.

Can we go to the pool house?

Mr Evans didn't die up on Mulholland Drive.

He was dead when the car went over the cliff.

He died here in the house,

probably on that couch.

If you're wondering how I know,

it was all in the autopsy report -

that you and Mr Evans were making love

shortly before he died.

And under those circumstances,

not many women would call their husbands for help.

They would call 911,

let the paramedics clean things up,

then call their husbands.

Well, that's who I called. I called 911.

You called 911? Are you sure?

I'm not sure of anything that happened that night,

but I pressed the 911 button.

On that phone?

Yes, on that phone.

RING

911 emergency. Hello.

Hello? 911.

Sorry. Mistake.

What happened after your husband and brother came here?

I don't know.

All I remember is Adam collapsing

and pressing the 911 button.

Are those your pills outside on the table?

Yes.

"Take as directed."

How many do you take a day, ma'am?

I take two.

Do you ever take more?

Never. They're much too dangerous.

This prescription for 50 tablets

is dated 15 days ago.

That means there should be 20 left.

Hold out your hand.

Did you take one today?

Yes.

2, 4, 6, 8...

10.

Hmm.

Any idea what happened to the other nine pills?

No.

You think I poisoned Adam, don't you, Lieutenant?

It does look that way, doesn't it, ma'am?

What's wrong?

Are you trying to kill it?

The thing took my last quarter.

Isn't there a number you can call?

I haven't got a quarter.

You want coffee? I'll buy.

I wouldn't trust it.

It took my quarter.

I tried to tell you.

You see the morning paper?

Only the ball scores.

Big story on Evans.

He was poisoned in some woman's pool house, then moved.

How did they hear?

You mean it's true?

Yeah. Who tipped the paper?

If it's true, why haven't you arrested this woman?

Because she didn't do it.

How's that for an answer?

She was alone with him, she mixed the drink that killed him.

Who else could've done it?

The husband.

He was in a poker game four miles away.

How'd he manage it?

If I knew that, I'd arrest him.

Well, lots of luck, Lieutenant.

I'll see you later, huh?

HE WHISTLES

You like the sixth horse?

What about the one horse?

No, I like him.

Oh, he's no good, huh?

You really like the six?

Did you look at the five?

Oh, OK, then that's what we'll do.

Right.

No, I'm leaving right now.

I'll see you there for the first race.

No, I'm leaving.

Right.

I'll see you then. Bye.

Going to the track, huh?

Oh, yeah, big race today.

You want a good horse?

A horse?

Yeah, to bet on.

To bet on? What's its name?

Pinocchio.

Pinocchio. Is he going to win?

- Guaranteed. - Guaranteed? No kidding?

Sixth horse, fourth race.

You got a tip?

I got a tip.

You got a tip? OK, baby.

Count me in.

Yes, sir, this is my lucky day.

Oh, sir? Are you in a hurry?

I'll get my business done quick.

I want to make the first race.

You got it, sir.

Uh, this Pinocchio, he's a boy horse?

Oh, this Pinocchio's a girl.

Oh, a girl horse.

How's your luck running?

Lieutenant, I'm in a hurry.

I understand, sir. You got it.

You got my money.

That's why I was worried about your luck.

Oh, here's what I was looking for.

You want that validated?

This isn't mine, sir.

That's for the downstairs garage.

No, it's three days ago.

It's the day Mr Evans died.

This is his parking ticket.

How do you know?

It matches the stub we found on his windshield.

Oh.

What about it?

Sir, I didn't mean to bet the 10.

I was thinking two, maybe five.

What do you think?

Go with the five. What about the ticket?

Well, it shows he parked the car down there at 12.20,

and what bothers me, sir, is, er,

you said that he cancelled his appointment.

Oh, he did.

He did?

It's a big building. Lieutenant - doctors, lawyers, accountants.

He could've seen anybody.

Oh. So he cancelled you,

and something more important came up.

Most likely.

Do you know of any other ailment he had?

If he saw another doctor, I'd check.

I have no idea why he was here.

Right.

Oh, what's this?

It's a crown.

A crown.

What's it made out of?

A porcelain compound.

Porcelain?

Mm-hmm.

Like in a teacup or a toilet bowl?

I don't know.

I wasn't any good at chemistry.

I put glue on and pop them in.

Looks just like a tooth.

Excuse me, I've got to go.

I understand. Good luck, Doc.

- Oh, sir? - Yes?

Could I just have my $5.00 change?

Oh.

I hope your luck keeps running good, sir.

That has a way of changing.

Not mine. I'm on a roll.

I'll see you later.

'Turning for home, it's English Pleasure.

'Grey Wonder's challenging on the outside,

'then it's back to Debra's Pony.

'They're in the stretch.

'English Pleasure holds the lead,

'Grey Wonder's alongside, and they're neck and neck.

'English Pleasure and Grey Wonder.

'Those two are stride for stride

'inside the final sixteenth of a mile.

'It's Grey Wonder on the outside

'in front of English Pleasure.

'Coming to the wire,

'Grey Wonder wins by a stride.'

Can I pick them, or what?

Congratulations.

That jockey can't lose today.

I told you to put money on him.

Did Pinocchio win, Doc?

He hasn't run yet.

Oh, good.

I was afraid I'd be too late and miss it.

How's your luck running?

I'm on a hot streak.

Great.

Think I could join you?

We're all filled up here. I'm sorry, Lieutenant.

You bet my money?

I sure did.

That's the important thing.

I'll keep my fingers crossed, Doc.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Sorry. Pardon me.

Things are going good, huh?

Going good, huh?

Very good. We're working on the next race.

You'll have to excuse us.

Oh, of course.

CALL TO POST

'The horses are on the track.'

Beautiful out here, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

Did you bet Pinocchio?

What race is that?

Doc, what race is Pinocchio?

Four.

Uh, fourth.

Did you bet him?

I bet him, yeah.

I got a tip.

This fella next to me?

He's a dentist, but he bets thousands.

No kidding.

'Don't forget about that carryover -

'better than $637,000.'

Remember these, Doc?

You remember them?

I think those were planted on Mr Evans' body.

Why would you say that?

I don't understand how they got in his pocket.

He must've picked them up at the house.

What bothers me is not a single match was used.

Whenever I borrow a match,

it's because I want to light my cigar.

Why would a guy pick up a book of matches

and not use a single match?

I imagine because he wanted to use them later.

He had a completely filled lighter in his pocket.

Lieutenant, it wasn't Adam's first visit to the house.

He could've picked them up at any time.

I would buy that if I found them in his jacket pocket,

but these were found in his shirt pocket.

If he was anything like me,

he changed his shirt every day.

Uh-huh.

I see what you mean.

So I'm stuck.

I don't know how they got there,

unless somebody put them there.

I wish I could help you.

Well, don't worry about it.

If your horse wins, that's the important thing.

Then you've done your share.

No problem, Lieutenant.

Bet the winners.

I always bet the winners.

Right.

Did you know that, in Mr Evans' car

at the crash site,

we found the gearshift in neutral?

Excuse me.

This is my seat.

Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am.

Did you know about that?

I didn't know that, Lieutenant.

Oh, hi.

It just seemed strange when I saw it

that someone who crashed into a ditch

during a fatal heart attack

would put the gear into neutral.

Know what you mean.

Could that have been deliberate,

making sure police wouldn't call it a heart attack

and let it go at that?

Excuse me.

That guy's a real pain in the butt.

You got that right.

Let's get back to business.

What about number one?

Sir?

Sir...

I didn't come here because of my bet.

You didn't?

No.

No, it was something else.

Um...

Sir, I assume you know

what your wife and Mr Evans

were doing just before he died?

Yes, Lieutenant, I do know.

You do know.

I thought you did.

But you wanted to protect her anyway.

I still do.

You must love her very much.

She's got my number, Lieutenant.

Well, I got some very good news

to tell you about her.

I also have some not-so-good news.

Um...could we go somewhere

where we could talk?

Absolutely.

Very few husbands would do what you did.

I really had no choice.

Let's stand at the bar.

Fine with me.

Care for a drink, sir?

Your good news about my wife - I'd like to hear it.

She's innocent.

She's what?

She didn't do it.

She didn't do it.

No, sir.

Well, that's terrific.

That's great news.

God, what a relief.

You're sure?

Absolutely.

Uh, Red!

Yes, sir!

When you have a minute?

I want to show you...

we know how much margarita was in the blender

because the residue left a mark.

Would you do me a favour?

Fill that with water up to that mark.

- Just water? - Just water.

Believe it or not, I once had red hair.

This is, er, the actual glass

that Evans drank the margarita from.

Uh, thank you very much.

Now let me show you something.

This is going to put your mind at rest.

Mr Evans drinks his first margarita.

Then he drank his second margarita.

And we know he had two margaritas.

How?

Because the glass...

and the blender...

were empty when we found them.

Problem -

how did he drink the second margarita?

Answer - he couldn't have.

Why not?

Because he would have been dead after the first one.

According to the coroner,

the amount of poison in that glass -

he'd have been dead in a minute.

So what does this all mean?

There was no poison in the blender

when he drank the margarita.

None.

The poison was put in the glass and the blender

after he was dead.

The poison in the margarita didn't kill him.

Poison from someplace else killed him.

Someplace else.

Someplace else!

So your wife - she's in the clear.

That's good news, right?

Wonderful news, Lieutenant, just wonderful.

So what's the not-so-good news?

That's complicated to explain.

Maybe I'd better show it to you.

Just take a minute.

Uh...

Sir, did you know that the night

your wife called the poker game for help,

that she dialled 911, but she didn't get 911?

She got John Valentine's house.

Listen, if she got John's house,

she must've dialled John's number.

She was having an affair with another man -

question whether she'd call her husband.

And she's sure she pressed the 911 button.

Here's what I think happened.

Press the speaker phone, now the 911 button.

TELEPHONE RINGS

'John Valentine's residence.'

That's what I think happened.

Somebody reprogrammed the 911 button

so that it would ring

at John Valentine's house.

You're saying you found the 911 button on that phone

programmed to ring John's number?

Whoever changed it originally

was too clever to leave it that way,

and it only takes a second to reprogramme it.

Excellent work, Lieutenant.

Thank you.

Excellent work.

My goodness.

You really spent some time on this.

Uh, yes, sir.

Interesting theory.

Should I call my lawyer?

Well, that's up to you, sir.

There's one thing that puzzles me.

Why don't you arrest me?

That's a good question.

That is a good question.

Red, a scotch for the Lieutenant

and I'd like milk.

Yes, sir.

It's my lucky drink.

Lieutenant, I assume that when you said

you had bad news for my wife,

you meant I not only murdered her lover

but was attempting to frame her for the crime.

That is true, sir.

I also assume that you've spoken to my in-laws

and that they told you I was a leech,

that I lived off their money, manipulated my wife,

and they wanted me out.

Yes, sir, I did.

You found a terrific motive.

My wife ends up in prison or an asylum,

I look like a devoted husband,

and my father-in-law would do anything for me.

It sounds right.

You think that I murdered Adam Evans.

I do, sir.

Tell me... how did I do that?

I don't know, sir.

You don't know?

That's a bit of a problem, isn't it?

It is.

Thank you, Red.

Well, it's fortunate I'm so good-natured, Lieutenant.

Somebody else might take offence.

Tell you what I'm going to do.

I'm going to root for our horse.

Now, you're welcome to join me,

or, er...

you could stay here and try to figure it out.

I think I'll stay here, sir.

I thought you would.

I'll see you later, Lieutenant.

'One of the outsiders to appear -

'a big outsider at 25-1 is Pinocchio.'

If you don't come in, you'll have troubles.

That's how it is.

So...what's the problem?

This tooth here - it's killing me.

I think it's a cavity.

I'll do the diagnosing.

Open.

Oh. Ohh...

that's beautiful.

Aah!

What was that?

You got a big problem under that filling.

Need a new one.

- Today? - Today.

Could we do it another day?

No!

I only want some information.

Oh, information.

The man's tooth is on the verge of abscess,

and he wants information.

I got a theory, and I want to talk about it.

Are things so bad downtown,

you can't afford a new shirt?

What's wrong with this?

It's got blue splotches on it.

It-it looks terrible.

Oh, that - laundry bluing.

- You know what that is? - No.

You're better off. Laundry bluing -

I still don't know what I did wrong.

I put it in the laundry,

and everything got blue spots -

underwear, shirts, my handkerchiefs.

And they say the blue won't come out.

Open.

Doc, take it easy.

You think I enjoy this?

Nobody loves the dentist.

Any idea how that makes a guy feel?

Try being a homicide detective.

At least your wife and dog love you.

Last time I tried to clean my wife's teeth,

she bit me. Open.

Come on.

Ahh. There.

So...while you can still talk,

what's the information?

A guy goes to the dentist, say, 12.30.

Now it's 10.00 at night,

and he drops dead

from a lethal dose of quick-acting poison.

I think the dentist did it,

but I don't know how.

It's not bad enough we got to be dentists.

Now we got to be murderers, too.

So how would you do it?

Theoretically.

Theoretically?

Yeah.

I don't have any idea.

Nah. You want to find out something like that,

you got to talk to a better dentist than me.

Open.

And you believe it?

A man like Columbo

says my daughter's not suspected of murder,

I believe it.

You believe Wesley did it?

The Lieutenant's sure of it.

He just doesn't know how.

Wesley's more clever than we gave him credit for.

Fooled me.

Fooled all of us.

But now he's been found out.

- Found out? - That's right.

The usual, Lieutenant?

I don't know what I want, but not that.

Don't feel like eating?

No.

I understand that. Neither do I.

I've had this head cold for three days.

It's killing me. You got a cold?

I was at the dentist.

The novocaine's wearing off,

and I think I bit my cheek.

And the tooth is starting to hurt.

I don't feel like eating, but I'm hungry.

Want a little advice?

Go home, take a shot of whiskey, and get into bed.

Oh, boy. Salud.

Thank you.

Lieutenant, Lieutenant...

that was the happiest phone call I've ever received.

I can't tell you how grateful I am.

So is my son.

I can't thank you enough.

I'm so relieved about Lydia.

Thank me by helping me figure out...

Is something wrong with your mouth?

I was at the dentist - a shot of novocaine.

The best way to thank me is to shed some light

on how this could have happened.

I know Evans was in your office building

at 12.30 on the day he died

from a parking stub.

I know he had an appointment to fill his cavity.

I don't care what Wesley says,

I believe that Evans

was in Wesley's office at lunchtime,

and that's when it happened.

If that's when he was poisoned.

That's when he would have died.

Well, that's our problem.

Excuse me. Finn, may I have a glass of water?

I have to take my pain pill.

This is starting to act up on me.

Be careful of this ice on your tooth.

What'll you have?

May I recommend... Ah-choo!

Bless you.

Take something for that.

Sounds awful.

Tried everything.

I was in the market and saw these things.

All different colours, look like candy.

Probably a marketing gimmick, right?

No, that's no gimmick.

Each one of those colours has a purpose.

See the beads in the capsule?

Reds dissolve in one minute,

the yellows in 15,

greens in an hour, the blues in four hours,

whites in eight hours.

You've seen the commercial -

12-hour cold pills.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, they're very common.

In fact, these pills here your dentist recommended -

they're the same thing.

That's how he did it.

What's that?

He coated it.

He coated the digitalis

with a medical time-release gel.

And inserted it in a cavity.

Here are Mr Evans' X-rays.

And you picked up

the autopsy X-rays from the coroner?

Yes, sir, I did.

Well, let's have them, and we'll find out.

Ahh.

Oh, I'm sorry, Lieutenant.

What's the matter?

Evans was here for a cavity

in a lower-left bicuspid.

According to the coroner's X-ray, it was never touched.

Well, that's not possible.

Here, look for yourself.

Well, that's crazy.

I know that's how he did it.

Lower-left bicuspid, huh?

Wait a second.

Yes.

Hold the phone, Doc. Yes.

Yes. Where did I write that?

Here it is.

Gash in the right cheek.

Not the left cheek,

the right cheek.

Forget about the cavity, Doc.

What do you see on this side of the mouth?

Lieutenant, what's going on?

I've got patients waiting this afternoon.

They'll have to wait, sir.

Maybe for a long time.

I said you murdered Evans and I'd get proof.

Now I got it.

You killed him while he sat in a dentist's chair

on the afternoon of the day he died.

You coated the digitalis with a medical gel

that would dissolve over several hours.

When the poison seeped out,

it was absorbed through the gums, into the system.

It's an absolutely lunatic theory.

I have to warn you, sir,

I've had Evans' body exhumed.

We will find traces of digitalis in his mouth.

And that, Dr Corman, will convict you.

Lieutenant... whenever you're ready.

Dad?

Uh, these are X-rays

taken in your office last week, Dr Corman,

of Adam Evans' teeth.

Could you show me where the cavity is?

Yes, Lieutenant, lower-left, second-to-last molar.

See that black spot right there?

Yes, sir.

Dr Johnson, would you hold these?

As you've aptly described, that's still a cavity.

I haven't touched it,

and assume nobody has.

The problem is,

I went to my dentist yesterday, and he gave me novocaine.

I bit the inside of my cheek without knowing it.

You know something else?

Adam Evans did the same thing.

A nasty cut on the inside of his cheek.

But the trouble is,

it's on the other side

away from the cavity.

You know what that says to me?

No, I don't.

You put the poison somewhere else in his mouth.

May I have those X-rays?

Is that a crown, Dr Sherwin?

Excuse me.

Dr Sherwin...

is-is that a crown?

It is.

Is that a porcelain crown?

That's correct.

Even if the poison had been put under the crown,

the body would've absorbed it without a trace.

But I'm not looking for traces of digitalis.

You know what that is, Doc?

That's a chemistry set I had as a kid.

I gave it to my nephew last Christmas.

I tell you, that kid - he's a whiz at this.

Takes after me, actually.

I was a terrific chemistry student

in high school.

Now watch this.

You said it yourself -

that you didn't know a lot about chemistry.

You didn't keep up with the stuff.

That's where you made your mistake,

because, last night, I couldn't sleep.

I went over to the nephew's house and got this.

I was up half the night

playing around with it,

and I made an interesting discovery.

Did you know the tiniest bit of digitalis

will turn porcelain enamel blue

when catalysed by moisture heated to body temperature?

No, I didn't.

You remember this?

Porcelain crown.

I saw one like that in your office.

And in this envelope,

I have pure digitalis

which Dr Johnson was kind enough to give me.

And I'm going to sprinkle this digitalis

onto this porcelain crown.

Now we heat some water.

Not much.

Now, I just want to get this water

to approximately body temperature.

There. I think that ought to do it.

Eye dropper.

Not much.

Now, watch carefully.

You see that?

And you know what, Doc?

When we pull that porcelain crown

from the right side of Adam Evans' mouth...

you can bet your eyetooth

that the underside of it will be stained blue.

You're through, Wesley.

It's a pity you were so weak in chemistry.

Dr Johnson.

Hand me that extractor, please.

Thank you.

Forget it. Just forget it.

It's no need.

Just leave it be.

I couldn't believe it when Daddy told me.

You would have let me go to prison...

or insane.

What I did is no worse

than what you and your father had planned for me.

All right. Let's go.

Oh, man, are you bananas?

Let me see that thing.

Digitalis on porcelain?

That won't do a thing.

The only thing that would turn this crown blue

is something like common, ordinary laundry bluing.

Kind of like that stuff on your shirt.

Laundry bluing?

Is that a fact.

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