All language subtitles for Columbo.Death.Hits.the.Jackpot.1991.1080p.MY5.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-None_track3_[eng]

You weren't supposed to keep a key.
Do you have insurance cover?

We agreed. I can't keep a key to my
own house? You don't live here now!

Let's just get this over with.
I don't have a lot of time.

Freddy, what was so important?

We've got things to discuss.

My lawyer says he sent
the final decree to you a month ago
and you haven't signed it.

Why?
I have got a date and I'm not ready!

And I regret that I ever agreed
to this! What? The divorce?

No, not the divorce.

What's the big deal? Come back
another time. No, Nance. I'm here.

I thought you wanted
to get this over with.

I do. I just don't understand
why it has to be NOW!

So, what time is the date?

Do you mind if I finish my hair
while we talk? Go ahead. Thank you!
You're welcome.

(OVER HAIRDRYER) I haven't signed

because something's missing
from the papers. Can you hear me?

Freddy? Can you hear me?!
Loud and clear.

Why did you renege? We agreed
you had to pay your debt. Hm.

What? You mean OUR debt?

No, I mean YOUR debt.
You borrowed that money, not me.

I mean, you just had to have
all that equipment. Wow...

We discussed this, Freddy,
and you agreed.

I thought, "Great,"
but then you change your mind.

How many times do we have
to go over the same thing?

It never fails. Just when I'm ready
to go out, something comes up.

Ha! I hate being rushed. Five bucks.

Did you say something?

This isn't just me talking
but my lawyer.

The debt was acquired by you, on
your own, as an individual. All me.

Geez... Prior to our marriage!
Yeah, by about six weeks.

What?

Oh, my God... Freddy, I can't
hear you if you don't speak up!

Freddy! Come on, eleven...

Come on, come on... Come on, eleven.
Please, please.

Yes, come on! Give me eleven!

Eleven, eleven, eleven...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Yes!

Freddy?

Lottery? Uh-huh. How'd you do?
Not bad. I picked three. I won $5.

Do you play? No.

I think your hair
looks nice that way.

It's one thing to split our assets
50-50 but why should I go

50-50 on your debt?
It was never my obligation.

Well, that's not the way I see it.
That's obvious.

The money I borrowed was so I could
set up a photography business

which we lived on for three years.

It's the same business that
I still break my back trying to run.

It's the business that allows me
to pay you money every month

while we argue over this divorce
that YOU wanted!

It's the same business that bought
this house, your robe, this chair,

these ridiculous slippers! Freddy!

No, if you don't see it that way,
fine. I'm not gonna fight you.

I'll spend as much on legal fees
as if I just assumed the total debt.

So it's over, OK? Divorce granted.
I'm going to change the papers.

Good night, good luck.
Have a nice date, have a nice life.

Freddy!

Here, hold it.

That's it. Touch it.

Feel it. Feel the history.

From the year 1674
from Mother Russia.

A gift to the tsarina
at sweet 16 from her father.

A total of 18 carats of emeralds.

The setting is platinum, of course.

The artistry is magnificent,
you can see that.

The craftsman must have been an
inspired man, certainly God-gifted.

Ms Weatherford, Mr Weatherford,

this is more than
a unique piece of jewellery.

It takes my breath away, Mr Lamarr.

And the education
of the grandchildren.

Our grandchildren have parents,
thank the Lord,

and all gainfully employed
the last time I looked.

It's a real nice piece, Lamarr.
Let us think about it.

As you wish.

Education of his grandchildren!

Doesn't that fat-head realise
he'd be buying an investment?

What does he think this is?
A fish market?

Am I losing my touch
or is it just the recession?

The message from your broker
came in. You want to see it?

Yes, I want to see it!

The broker's secretary said to tell
you that he'll be in his office -

I'm dead broke.

I'm broke.

God...

Uncle Leon?

I got a problem.

Ach... I got a big problem.

You're the only person
I've ever been able to trust.

You tell me one of your problems,
I'll tell you one of mine.

At the end of the day, if anyone's
left standing, they win a prize.

OK. Can I start? Go.

Um, I just won $30 million
on the lottery.

Yes, I can see how that could be
a problem for you(!)

I'm serious. I'm sure(!)

Look at me. I'm serious,
as God is my witness.

I just won Wednesday's lottery.
The jackpot was $30 million.

No-one else has the winning numbers.
It's all mine,

every penny, every cent, mine.

I got proof.

Well...

Well? $30 million.

$30,435,885 to be exact.

Doggone, this is amazing. I find it
hard to grasp. You're telling me.

$30 million, all going to
my little nephew, Freddy Brower.

My favourite nephew. I know that for
a fact, Uncle Leon, no arguments.

Ha ha ha! Well, Freddy, my boy,

for once in my life,
I find myself at a loss for words.

You don't have to say anything.
I know how you feel.

You said you had a little problem
here. You're kidding me?

No, sir. I got a little...
$15 million problem.

You've lost me now. Nancy.

Nancy? What's she got to do with it?
We're not divorced yet. What?

If I go down there
to collect the money,

half of it's gonna wind up in
Nancy's personal bank account. Oh.

Would you agree I have a little
problem? Let's take a walk, Freddy.

I think better in the fresh air.

Tell me, Freddy, who else have you
told about your windfall? Nobody.

Nobody at all? Nobody. I've been
in a daze since Wednesday.

I don't know if I've eaten or slept
but I do know
I haven't told anybody.

That's very good, Freddy. Very good.
What are you thinking about?

A switch. A switch? Substitution.

What do you mean?

It's not exactly legal, I'm afraid,
but I think it's the only solution.

Let's hear it.
I cash in the ticket...

You? Just as if I'd bought it.
I get the $30 million.

And then? And then...

I give the money to you.

We can do that? That would work?

Why not? I don't know.

Yeah, I guess it would.

Wouldn't it? It's not
really that complicated.

You give me the ticket, I cash it,
the lottery people give me the money
and I give it to you.

And Nancy never has to know.

Bingo. Alright.

This is good. I like it.

Would you rather have all the money
now while you're young

and you can get the pleasure
out of it? Yes.

Or have it dribbled out to you
over 20 years? No! I'd like it now
while I can enjoy it.

That's your prerogative, Freddy.

It's your money.
You can do whatever you please.

As a matter of fact, I know
some people who might be interested
in a transaction like this.

'Course,
it could take a little time.

I could broker the deal myself,
get a few dollars for my trouble.

I'll take care of you, Uncle Leon.
10% off the top.

That's very generous of you, but I -
But nothing.

I don't want to hear
any more about that, OK?

As you wish. Many thanks. Forget it.

OK.

You really think this will work?
I do.

You sure? I am.

OK.

Er...

I think, though, that maybe we
should have something in writing.

I mean, an informal agreement
about what we're doing in case...

Uncle Leon dies, clutching the
ticket in his rigor mortis hand?

Uncle Leon... 'Course
I'm gonna give you a letter.

I wouldn't do this unless
you had a written agreement.

Now, I gotta know all the details
in case they ask me some questions.

Like... where did you buy
the ticket? What day? What time?

# I'm in the money!

(HUMS)

# I'm in the money...

(TV) A great show for you tonight.

I can't wait to meet
my special guest, the only holder

of the $30-million lottery ticket!

The only one!
You realise what that means?

He doesn't have to share the money
with anybody!

Except maybe his wife. Unless he
wants to sleep in the bath tonight!

Wow! OK, time for a few requests,
impersonations of famous celebrities.

Freddy!
(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Freddy! Freddy!

Did you know
your uncle's on television?

Oh, that's the show!
Yeah, I was sort of watching.

Is that champagne you're drinking?
Er...

Don't get up. I know where you keep
the glasses. Trish, the door...

Freddy! Your uncle is on the tube!
Oh, God...

Champagne! Great!

Hey, everybody, there's a party
in Freddy's place!

Come on!
Freddy's uncle just won $30 million!

(ITALIAN)

(MOUTHS SILENTLY)

Introduce me to your uncle!
What would he want to meet YOU for?

Congratulations! Way to go!
I'll get more glasses.

Ginty, could you control
your creature?

Relax, Freddy! He's cute!
Those are my photographs.

What's the matter? He's having
a good time, not bothering anybody.

Right, Georgy? Yeah, sure.

(ITALIAN)

What did she say? Momma thinks
you got a nose like an artichoke.

I love an old lady
who speaks her mind.

I'd love some champagne!

Freddy, do we have a problem here?
I think I might have
one more bottle.

Hey, the MC just finished his
monologue. He's applauding himself.

Hurry, Freddy! Your uncle's
already loaded, isn't he?

Huh! The rich get richer...

YOU should have won the lottery.
You could use it. That's life.

Yeah! Being broke!

Can you imagine winning $30 million?

I can imagine spending it.

What's your uncle like, Freddy?
My uncle is a great guy.

Let's hope he's a great guy
to everybody!

Let's see how great a guy he is!
Absolutely. Bring him on down.

Freddy, aren't you just
a wee bit envious of your uncle?

I have my art.
What would I do with all that money?

(TV) Ladies and gentlemen, here's the
moment we have all been waiting for.

I don't know about you folks but it's
the biggest cheque I've ever seen.

And it all belongs to...
Leon Lamarr!

Leon!

To Leon, the greatest uncle
a guy ever had.

To Leon!

Way to go...

Your daughter wonders if she can buy
the sports car she showed you?

The red one?
She didn't mention the colour.

You tell her if it's the red one
it's alright.

The Society for Homeless Pets
would like to honour you. Pass.

A group called Geese
for Lithuania... Geese?

Maybe they meant Peace. Pass.

Freddy Brower called. What did
he want? He swore it wasn't money.

Bless his heart.
It'd be the first one today.

He wants to talk - not an investment
opportunity, not a charity.

Could you meet him
some time this afternoon?

This afternoon is impossible. I'll
call him on the way home. Alright.

The Reverend Hyut-Sung Kim - Pass.

(TIMER PINGS)

(PHONE)

Hello. "Freddy!" Hey, how you doing?

Just fine, Freddy, just fine.
How are you?

Well, tell you the truth,
I'm going a little crazy.

How so, boy? Are you kidding?

I'm about to get my hands
on $30 million

but in the meantime I gotta
borrow money to pay the rent.

You think that's easy? So what's
the word? What's our timeframe?

Probably a couple more weeks,
Freddy. Two more weeks?

They weren't gonna let me cash in
that cardboard cheque you saw on TV.

Seriously, if you hadn't wanted me
to make the cash-now deal...

I know, I know, I know. But...

"I made the contact.
The deal is in the works."

Listen to me, old son, you're gonna
have to dig down for more patience.

Two more weeks and you're gonna be
a millionaire, boy, many times over.

You just think about that.

I am, Uncle Leon, I am.

You better believe
I think about that

every minute of every hour
of every day.

Lord, have I been busy today!
You have no idea, Leon, none!

Community meetings, charity banners,
political fund-raising...

It isn't as though I wasn't active
before we won the $30 million.

Darlin',
don't you find it surprising

that we have suddenly
gained a large number of new
and wonderfully close friends?

Remarkably surprising,
but I've got an idea on that regard.

I am all ears.

Not all, sweetie. Naughty!

How about a party?
Wonderful! I love parties.

To celebrate our new-found wealth
and our delightful new friends.

Perfect. When shall we do it?
Halloween?

Costume party? What do you think?
Stunning idea! We shall have fun!

Should we have a theme?

How about "come dressed as
a millionaire, other than yourself"?

Wonderful! Brilliant! I love it!

Halloween!
That's only two weeks from now.

I have got to get myself going.

The invitation list, the parking...

Oh, sir, I am positively
overwhelmed with your presence!

Enjoy your bath, baby.
You've got plenty of time.

Merci beaucoup. Thank you.
Thank you, sir.

Oh, my. Beautiful. Thank you!

Thank you.

Oh! Honey sugar! Thank you so much!

You're welcome. That is splendid.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Long time no see, Uncle Leon!

How you doing, boy? Am I disturbing
you? Anybody here? No, come on in.

You look beautiful. What are you,
a doorman? I'm King George!

So where's the money?

I thought a toast would be in order,
your Lordship. Ain't that the truth?

Hey, who is this? That's Joe.

How you doing? I'm chimp-sitting
for a friend who's on vacation.

Where's the money? Downstairs,
in the trunk of my car.
You're kidding?

My German Shepherd is in
the back seat. Oh, OK, that's good.

Do you know how long it took me to
count that money, boy? Not too fast.

Well, now, I'd like to have
that letter of agreement back.

The what?
That letter we both signed.

Your insurance policy telling what
we were gonna do with the ticket.

Oh, that? Yes.
That's under the mattress.

Good choice.

Now, Your Highness, would you
like me to open this bottle?

You bet. I'll get the glasses.

(CHATTERS)

(CHATTERS)

(CHATTERING)

(WALTZ PLAYS WITHIN)

(MUSIC CONTINUING)

(GRANDFATHER CLOCK CHIMES LOUDLY)

Ah...!

You're the most beautiful queen
of my heart. Come here.

(DOORBELL CHIMES)

That's my wife.

Is my pleasure.

Oh, sweetie, thank you,
glad you could come.

Your Excellency, I'm honoured.

(PHONE)

Hello? Yes, just one minute.

Mr Lamarr - it's your nephew, sir.

Leon, hurry back.

Yes, Freddy. Anything the matter?

That's fine, ten o'clock's fine.

Sure. We'll barely
be getting started then.

You bet.

"Well, hurry up now."

I love you, Leon.
I love you so much.

(MAN) Hi, Leon.

It's Freddy. He's going to be late,
honey.

Sure, I mean,
that's a frightening thing.

But you're gonna be OK.

You're gonna be just fine.

Just take it easy and relax.

That's... right,... that's... good...

You have such a wonderful,
natural way with wild animals,
Lieutenant.

A very unusual and attractive
quality in a man.

I wouldn't exactly call this guy
a wild animal. Well, I meant
not a purely domesticated creature

like a dog or a cat.

I like animals. As do I, Lieutenant.

We have that in common.
Which is why, when I heard
poor little Joey here crying,

I just had to try to do something.

You would have done as much,
I'm sure. Oh, I hope so, ma'am.

So that's when you came down
and knocked? Mm-hm.
But the only response I got

was from little Joey here.
That's when you called the police,
is that right, ma'am? Trish.

Yes, I think it was
just about eight-thirty. Thank you,
ma'am.

Trish.

I live just down the stairs,
Lieutenant.

I'm a poet.

A poet? Oh...!

And a potter. Uh-huh.

AND a potter. Well, uh,
I'm going to have to check something
with the boys, so...

Oh, certainly. Do you think
that you could - Oh, here, of course.

He took my badge...! Joey...!

He lifted that badge
and I never felt it!

You could be a real menace
in the street, baby.

Oh, if I can be of any further help,
Lieutenant... Thank you very much,
ma'am. Trish.

Trish.

He drowned in the tub? Yeah.
Taking a bath, slipped.
Hit his head. Yeah,

happens all the time.
Taking a bath, OK....
Well, there's the soap.

What's this? Bath oil, yeah.

Washcloth, alright, good.

No, uh... backbrush?

No. You guys use a backbrush? No. No.

You don't know what you're missing.

There's his pants, his shoes...

No socks? Hamper.

Oh, yeah, socks. Good, OK.

Bath oil. Right. We're thinking
that's how he might've bought it.
Wouldn't have been the first one.

Bath oil clings to the porcelain,
victim climbs in - Or out.
Foot slips out from under him, wham,

down and out. Well, look at this...

You got something there, Lieutenant?
"Skin conditioner - best used
AFTER the bath."

You may be right,
but not according to this guy.
The washcloth was bone dry. Well,

we figure he slipped
as he reached for the cloth,

dropped it as he fell backwards.
Uh-huh, could be. But then
he'd be getting in. Oh,

look at that watch. Yeah.

8:04

Medical examiner'll probably
be able to confirm the time of death
around there. Uh-huh?

Just wanna check.

Well, whaddaya know about that...?

OK. Bag that and get it
down to the lab immediately.
No problem, Lieutenant.

(CHUCKLES)

Aw...!

Lieutenant, turns out this guy
is in the middle of a divorce.
Is that so? Wife's name

is Nancy Ellen Brower.

Her address, her phone number,
his lawyer, her lawyer,

interlocutory, last year's
tax return - doesn't look too nasty,

but then again you can't believe
lawyers' letters. No, you can't.
Yeah. The phone company called

with your information
that you wanted - Brower's last call
was made at 8:01 tonight. 8:01?

That's just three minutes
before he, uh -

Yeah, makes you think, doesn't it?
Yes, it does.

Yeah, here one minute
and gone the next.
Call went to a Leon Lamarr,

Beverly Hills. The call
was under a minute.

Here's his address
and his phone number.

Look, Cleopatra! Oh, yes, wonderful!

Oh, and Colonel Sanders!

John, is that the chicken?

I haven't the foggiest idea.
Who am I? I forget.

Now, THAT'S imaginative. Oh,
that's particularly good, sir,
bravo!

Who's HE supposed to be?

An eccentric millionaire, silly.

It was a perfect condo,
with a beautiful view.

St Peter said to this old couple,
"It's yours for eternity,

rent-free." Well, the wife
was deliriously happy,

but her husband groaned
and made a terrible face.

She said to him, "Elmer, sweetie,
don't you like heaven?"

"Like it?" he said -
"Hell, I love it."

"If it hadn't been for you
and that damn oatbran

we could have been here
ten years ago." Only clean one
I know.

Oh, look at that UNUSUAL costume,
Leon!

That's Mr Lamarr
in the King George costume.
Isn't HE clever? Certainly unique.

Excuse me, sir. I understand
that you're the host of this party.

Leon Lamarr. I don't believe
I know you, sir.

No, sir, no, you don't. No,
I'm - I'm with the police.

That's not for real, is it?
It certainly looks real. Oh,
it's real, sir. That's me, there,

Lt Columbo, LAPD. Have we been
getting too rowdy here?

Oh, no, no. No, sir, no.

No, I wonder, could we find a place
a little bit more private?

Sure.

What's on your mind? Not serious,
is it, Lieutenant?

Sir, did you receive
a telephone call this evening

from a man named Fred Brower?

Freddy? My nephew?

Your nephew? Yeah. Why?
Has something happened?

What time was that call?
Around eight o'clock?

Yeah, about that. And what was
the purpose of the call? Well,

he called to ask whether he could be
late to the party.
He was coming here? Tonight?

Yes, he was invited. What is this?!

Was there an accident? Uh,
it would appear that way, sir, yes.

What do you mean, appear? Tell me
what happened! I'm afraid
it's bad news, sir. What?

Your nephew is dead. I'm very sorry.

Oh my... God...!

No...!

I - no, I just spoke to him. He -
well, how did it happen?

Was it a car accident?
Had he been drinking? Was that it?
No, sir, no.

It was an accident in his home,
in the studio.

Apparently he was taking a bath
and he slipped and fell

and... hit his head. He drowned.

Oh, dear God...!

I can't believe this.

Freddy was my favourite nephew.

He's more than that, he's...

..like a son to us.

Freddy dead... How am I
gonna tell Martha?

I just... Freddy...

He is my brother Laurence's son.

His only child.

Laurence and his wife, Betty -
that's Freddy's moma -
she was killed in a plane crash

when he was just a kid, 13 or 14.

Poor little thing,
he just fell apart.

Martha and I tried to step in,
we... we tried.

God, what a tragedy.

Does Nancy know? Would that be
his wife, sir? Ex-wife.

No, sir, no, she doesn't know yet.

Maybe I should tell her. I think
it probably would be better
for us to do that, sir. Yeah,

you're right. She probably
won't even shed a tear.

It was a terrible marriage.
God knows whose fault it was.

Poor Freddy...

Poor... innocent, irresponsible,...
wonderful Freddy...

I'm very sorry, sir, to have had
to bring this very sad news.

I can find my way out.

Lieutenant Columbo? Oh, Mrs Brower?

Yes. You've come about Freddy,
haven't you? Uh, yes, ma'am.

I heard late last night. Evidently
one of the tenants in the building
contacted a mutual friend of ours

vacationing in Cancun.
Meyer McGinty. He's the gentleman
that owns the chimp? Yes.

And Meyer called me. I see.

Um,... ma'am, can you tell me, um,...
what do you get for a nightgown

like this here? 425 dollars.

425 dollars... Well, I don't think
that she'd be able to sleep in
anything that expensive. She?

My wife. We're gonna celebrate
our 25th anniversary, it's coming up.
Congratulations! Thanks very much.

I was thinking along the lines
of, well, lingerie, y'know,

something she wouldn't ordinarily buy
for herself.

I know exactly what you mean.
Uh, so it's 425?

Mm-hm. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Alright, I'll think about that. Uh,

this here is... on the outside?

Mm-hm. It's - it's a robe.

A robe? Well, it's actually
more of a peignoir.

Peignoir... Uh-huh.

And, uh, this is the pyjamas here?

That's right. Uh-huh.

425. And that's for everything?

Complete.

OK. Well, I'll think about that
and, uh,

I'm sorry I got sidetracked here
because I know this is a bad time
for you, ma'am,

and I'm sensitive to that.
Lieutenant, I think you should know,

Freddy and I had been on the skids
for a long time

and we were never Romeo and Juliet.
I can't honestly say I feel
a great loss.

Does that make me
sound dreadfully cold?

I'm sorry if it does,
because I'm not a cold person.

When's the last time
you saw your husband, ma'am?

Oh, let me think. Uh,
about a month ago, I believe.

He came over to argue a legal point
in our divorce papers, then left.
I can't even remember

if we accomplished anything.
And that was the last time
you saw him

or spoke to him? Yes. Do you know
what I'm thinking, Lieutenant?
What is that, ma'am?

If I'm not mistaken,
25th anniversaries are sterling.

Sterling?

Oh, that's silver? Yes.

Oh, I never checked on that.
I'm almost positive. Silver...

Well, maybe I should change my plans,

throw the lingerie out.
You could always do both.

Silver and silk go rather nicely
together.

Don't you think? Oh, both...

425... Uh,

plus...?

200 for the bracelet. Yeah?

Plus tax. Uh-huh.

(MAN) Alright, folks, keep moving,
don't block the sidewalk. Thank you.

Keep moving.

Bucks for Ducks. Donate a buck,
save a duck. Save the environment.
Bucks for ducks.

What's going on here?
Move along, please, let's keep
this pavement clear. He's with us.

What's going on here?! It's about
a little ticket
worth 30 million dollars.

I'll be a son of a gun...

THAT'S why he seemed so familiar.

I came to ask him myself
where have I seen him before! Lamarr!
Leon Lamarr!

I saw the guy get the cheque on TV!

Well, it had to be the costume.
Cos I'm talking to him

and I don't know
he won the 30 million dollars!
I don't recognise him.

30 million bucks, ooh...!
I gotta tell my wife about this.

Mr Lamarr? Oh, give me that hand.

Lieutenant! I wanna shake the hand
that picked the $30 million ticket.

Oh... Congratulations. Thank you.
How does it feel? Great, just great.

I'll bet it does. Where were you
when you heard the news? At home.
You were watching on the TV? No,

fact is I wasn't watching. No...!
Really? I was going over
my bank statement. TV was on, but...

I looked up
when they called the number
and I said, "Golly,

what... the number..." You didn't
see any of those balls that - No,
never did. You didn't?!

But they called the number
and I looked at my ticket.
Sure enough - You! Me.

So what did you do,
what did you say? I sat there,
stunned. Then I started yelling.

So what did you say?! "Honey?!"

"Honey?!" That's my wife.
"I won! I won!" I was yelling.

But she wasn't there. No?!
No, my son was there. Goodness...!
I said, "God, boy!"

We kissed each other,
cried a little bit. I said,

"Sonny boy, your daddy
is the luckiest man in the world."
I can second that.

That's a hell of a story. Listen,
the reason I came here to see you

was that I wanted to ask you
about a watch. Alright!
Any particular one? Uh,

your nephew's watch, sir.

Freddy's?

Yes, it was a Le Sur.
That's a good choice. Right here.

Oh, yeah, there it is. Yeah!

That's it, the exact one.
That looks like the exact same one.
A Le Sur 2600.

You're considering one of these
for yourself? No, sir, I'm afraid
that's too much watch

for me to handle, but your nephew,
when he had his accident,
was wearing his. Here.

It'll just take a minute, sir.

You see, sir? You see
how that crystal there is broken?

Apparently when he fell,
the watch stopped working.

I suppose it could happen that way.
It was guaranteed to be waterproof,

but not if the crystal
is compromised. I'm afraid, sir,
my problem is not

that the watch stopped working,
but why he was wearing it.
What do you mean by that? Sir,

your nephew's watch is a counterfeit.
Huh. That's impossible. I'm afraid
it's a fact, sir.

See, I looked on the other side
and there's no serial number there.
Yes? You see, sir.

Yeah, see that. Not like
on this watch? Right.
Probably all these watches here,

they got serial numbers.
Quality watches,
they have serial numbers?

Absolutely. Well, but there was
none on your nephew's.

I sent it to the lab,
they come back with a report
that it's worth about $100!

That baffles the hell outta me.
I... Must be a mistake.
I'm afraid not, sir.

I'm afraid you're not hearing me,
Lieutenant.

I gave that watch to my nephew
as a gift.

I gave it to Freddy.
He'd always wanted one
but he'd never be able to afford it.

It retails at $3,000 and I gave it
to him a year ago
on his 35th birthday.

Are you and suggesting I really gave
my nephew a $100 knock-off? No, sir,

nothing like that.
What are you driving at, then? Well,
isn't it possible

he might have needed money
and he sold it?
Freddy always needed money, true.

Isn't it reasonable to think that,
feeling about you the way he did,
he wouldn't want you to know

that he'd sold it?

Yeah.

He could have bought a counterfeit
cos he knew probably I'd never see
the back of the case

and never suspect
it was not the original. Yes, sir.
Coulda happened that way. I'm sorry,

Lieutenant, I was curt to you.
I apologise. No harm done, sir.
Getting back to my question -

Please, yes, sir. We noticed
it was a fake Le Sur,
we established that.

My question is this -
since it was a fake

and since a fake is not waterproof,
wouldn't you think Freddy would know

not to wear it in the bath?

Mr Lamarr? You don't wanna be late
for your luncheon appointment.

Excuse me.

Could Freddy have been planning
to take off the watch

and slipped and fell
before it could? I suppose so, but -
Lieutenant, had he been drinking?

I mean, it's no secret he had
a little problem in that area.

According to the medical examiner's
report, sir, yes, been drinking
pretty heavily.

The booze could explain why a man
forgets to take off his watch.

Might also explain why a grown man
slips and falls and drowns
in his own bathtub.

Yes, sir, it might. I think it would.
Thank you for the time, sir.
With pleasure.

Mr Lamarr?

Don't spend it all in one place!
(CHUCKLES) Funny man...

God, I missed you. Yeah.

I need you so bad! Me too.

Do I have to go to the funeral?
Whatever you want, my darling.
A detective came by today. Routine.

He won't be back. He was cute.
I kinda liked him. I'll bet
he liked you too. (GIGGLES)

He's having his 25th anniversary.

I told him it was sterling.

If he comes by maybe you can
sell him something expensive -
we need the money.

You're the devil in disguise.
Takes one to know one -

Uncle Leon...

There are no roses now,
They're gone with the sun.

No twinkle of fireflies
To signal day is done.

Come - mourn the end of love
Extinguished with the light

Awake from the ruined dream
Into never-ending night

(SOBS) My little baby...!

(SPEAKS ITALIAN)

Oh, heavenly Father, we are gathered
at this final resting place.

We share the sorrow,
grief and the memories

to bid farewell
to one of your children.

In so far as we are all
your children, we share the sorrow
of his unexpected departure

and the fond memories
of his brief time amongst us.

Our grief is tempered
with the firm belief...

Nancy has a nerve being here
after the way
she treated poor Freddy!

Well, I'm sure it can't be easy
for her either. I presume
that she's the uncle's wife. Yes.

She's a wonderful person.
Whose side are you on?!

I'm not on anybody's side.
..we humbly seek Your blessing
and Your everlasting mercy.

Amen. Amen.

Would some of Freddy's friends
or relatives like to share
some memories with us? I'd like to.

Certainly.

I'm Leon Lamarr, Freddy's uncle.

But Freddy was more than a nephew
to us. My wife Martha
and I practically raised that boy.

It is impossible for me to believe
that I'm standing here
and Freddy's in this box.

Now that he's actually gone
I just remember all the baseball
games we shared together -

how excited Freddy would get
when the Dodgers started to win,

how he always laughed
at my... naughty jokes.

Mama...

I guess that's what they call
today... male bonding.

But Freddy and me,

we called it... being buddies.

Good buddies.

So long, old buddy.

Oh, Mr - Mr Lamarr?

I believe they wish to be alone
with their grief. Sir? Now,

unless someone else wishes
to share their memories of Freddy,
the service is concluded. Thank you.

Excuse me? Sir?

Maybe he's a friend of Freddy.

Excuse me, I'm from
the Los Angeles Police Department.

How do you do, sir? How do you do?

And you, sir, I'm assuming
that you're a friend of Freddy's.

I just wanna ask you
one quick question -

did he ever mention to you
his intention of buying a car
like this?

No, no, no, that's not possible.
Believe me, he don't even
have the money for room rent. Well,

that's what everybody tells me.
You're very welcome. My pleasure
to meet you, ma'am. Very nice.

It makes-a no difference
if he's-a married.

He don't want to meet your niece!

Oh, with her piano legs...?

It's a breathtaking car!

As you can see,
it's a most unique automobile.

(SMALL EXPLOSIONS)

(CREAKING)

Shouldn't jam up like that
when it's sunny. I want to ask you,
sir, um -

gee, I hope I didn't lose that thing.

I'm sure I - oh, here it is.

Um, I want to ask you about this car.

Sorry, we don't take trade-ins.

Could we step inside? Do you have
an appointment? Appointment?

I don't think
that... I need an appointment.

(ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYS)

# Where have all the flowers gone?

# Long time passing

# Where have all the flowers gone?

(OTHERS JOIN IN) # Long time ago

(MORE JOIN IN)
# Where have all the flowers gone?

# Young girls have picked them,
every one

# Oh, when will they ever learn?

# Oh, when will they... ever learn?

# Where
have all the young girls gone?

# Long time passing

(HALF-SINGS, HALF-SPEAKS) Where...
have all the young girls gone?

# Long time ago

# Where
have all the young girls gone?

# Gone for husbands, everyone

# Oh, when will ever learn?

# Oh, when will they... ever learn?

Hey, that cop is here.

What cop? The Lieutenant.

He's in the closet. In the closet?!

Yes!

Lieutenant?

(STOPS PLAYING) Hi, everybody,
I didn't mean to intrude,

I just didn't know
everybody was gathered here. Oh,
it was sorta spontaneous,

we all just drifted up here
and started sharing memories.

Can I help you?
Oh, no, ma'am, I'm fine.
Looking for something in particular?

No, just a coupla loose ends.
Otto...? Oh, by the way, Drop it!
you might be interested -

Freddy was really gonna buy
that $175,000 car.

No, that's not possible.
Freddy couldn't afford the parking!

No, it's really true! I just spoke
to the salesman.

He picked out the colour.
Where'd he get-a that kind of money?
A rich uncle. The lottery winner.

(CHATTER CONTINUES)

Just when he's about to have
a really terrific car,

he gets zapped, just like that...
(CHATTER RESUMES)

Freddy was a big beer drinker,
wasn't he? Oh, he loved-a
to drink beer. He loved it TOO much.

Yeah, six-pack a day,
that was Freddy's way!

(CHATTER)

Then how come he bought
a case of champagne?

That must've cost him
seven, eight hundred dollars.

A case?! Well,
how do you like that?!

He was holding out on us!
He only bring out-a the two bottles,
I remember. (CHATTER RESUMES)

(BACKGROUND CHATTER CONTINUING)

Hey, let's take a group picture.

I'd love one! This is Freddy's
and it's got film in it! Great!
(CHATTER)

The Italian policeman
don't-a steal-a no pictures.

Moma, behave yourself
or no Jay Leno tonight, eh?

Andiamo.

Lieutenant, will you take a picture?
Alright. It's Freddy's camera
and a good one,

so - Alright, here we go.

OK, everybody, here we go.

Cheese on three... One,

two! Cheese!

Sugar, I don't like those earrings
all bunched together like that,
it's tacky. Yes, sir. Otherwise,

everything's about perfect,
wouldn't you say?

Get outta there!

I can't hear you.

I can't hear. I don't know
what you're saying.

(CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY)
What the hell was that all about?

No, no, spread 'em
all over the case.

Alright.

Excuse me, sir,
I'm pressed for time. I got
an appointment at the vet's.

I wanted to know - is that
charm bracelet sterling silver?
Interested in sterling, sir?

I'm told that the traditional gift
for the 25th anniversary
is sterling silver.

Is that true? I don't know
if the proper gift for the lady
that you've shared 25 years with

is a metal worth only $4 an ounce.
How many ounces we talking about?
Let me show you something

incredibly beautiful. Oh, no, sir,
thank you, but I'm really pressed
for time. Alright. OK. Although, uh,

gee, if we made it fast...
Pull this one out right here. I do
have a question about your nephew.

I'll make this quick, sir,
it's not a big thing.

I was looking through
your nephew's telephone bills

and I'm must curious about something.
Mm-hm? Last month

he made eleven calls to your shop
here in Beverly Hills,

but on the previous month
he only made one.
Can you account for that?

Freddy's behaviour's
not that complicated.

When he didn't call me it's because
he was making ends meet.

When he did
it's cos he needed some money.

That's why he made
all those calls last month?
Yes. He needed money? Oh, yes.

Well, that don't add up.
You gotta problem with that? Yeah,
something's missing here,

cos on the 20th, the day
he called you for money, that boy
ordered a $175,000 automobile.

What? Who told you that?

The salesman, sir. Oh, yeah, Freddy,
he'd selected the colour

and he was gonna have it delivered
in Europe. In Switzerland. In Berne.

Don't pay any mind to that.

That sounds like Freddy, sure does.
He could do that. I mean,

he was in the clouds.
It was all fantasy. You mean
he'd make things up? He told me

he was going on tour with Madonna

as her photographer. Not true?
Made it up. No kidding. Ask Madonna!
Well, I'll be a son of a gun.

So this whole thing
about the automobile, that was all
in his mind? Listen,

he'd rent a Rolls-Royce
for the day - see? - so he could go
and look at houses for sale.

These are three, four million-dollar
houses.

He'd have people walking
through all the rooms,
taking pictures.

He wanted to know if there was room
in the back to build a tennis court.
And he had no money? Not after

he rented that Rolls. He was broke!
And it's sad. Because Freddy
was talented. But mixed up. Yeah,

he sounds mixed up. Listen, thank you
very much for this information.
I'm gonna run along, sir.

Do you remember the name of the...

..real estate agent that showed him
those houses? It's Mary Sedge
or something. In Beverly Hills.

I'll think of it, give you a call.
Much obliged, sir.

Mr Lamarr? Wonderful things you said
at the funeral. Very touching.

Thank you. Oh, one more thing -

uh,

I'm gonna have to make this fast,
sir.

Freddy bought a case of champagne.
I checked with the liquor store,

it was on the same day
they made the liquor call to you -
would he spend $520

on a case of champagne
and on the same day
call you up for a loan?

Well, that surprises me.

But I suppose he could have,
being Freddy. Cos this wasn't
a fantasy, sir.

I mean, he actually
bought the case of champagne.

Yes, I hear you, sir.
I just wish I hadn't.

Well, I appreciate that, sir.

Once again, thank you for the time.

I'm sorry, sir, just one more thing -

your nephew planned on coming
to your party? Yes, sir.
And he called to say

to say he'd be late? Yes. It was
a costume party? You were there.
You tell him? What?

Did Mr Brower know
that your Halloween party
was a costume party?

I'm sure he did. Why? Well,
it's probably nothing, sir,

I'm just trying to understand why,
if he was planning on coming
to your costume party,

why he didn't have a costume.

He didn't? In his studio, sir,
on the night of his death -
no costume.

You sure about that? Oh, quite sure,
sir. I even went back
after the funeral.

They were having a wake.
I searched again and - no costume.
Since it was Freddy,

doesn't surprise me. See,
costumes cost money.

And he was an imaginative boy.
I suppose Freddy was just gonna wear
some of his old clothes

and come as an eccentric billionaire
like Howard Hughes.
Howard never wore anything fancy.

You remember at that party
I thought you were in costume

when you were wearing
your own clothes! Good point, sir.
Yes, sir. That explains it.

Much obliged. My pleasure.

Kiss.

What does a grateful woman
buy a gracious jeweller for a gift?

Anything in the store at half-price.

My dear,

I think this afternoon
we'll have to hold us for a while.
You're not serious?

Your cute little busybody Lt Columbo
is still snooping around

here and there
looking for God knows what.

For a while I suggest
we try to keep our distance
from one another.

How long are you talking about?
A day?

A week? Longer?

Long enough to come out of this
alive and free.

We've got to exercise discipline
a little bit.

Discipline? Yeah. You've got
$24 million, Leon. After taxes.

Half is mine.

I want it.

All in good time.

But somehow I don't think
it'd look right

for the Widow Brower's bank account
to suddenly swell to 12 million.

Do you? In the meantime I'm sure
you know that your share
is completely safe with me.

Come on. Come on now.

Good evening, ma'am.

Do you have a moment?

Can I get you something to drink,
Lieutenant? No, I'm - Diet soda,
mineral water - No.

One quick question. Wanna sit down?

It's about your divorce.

Mm-hm?

You remember when we first met,
it was in a lingerie shop?

You were telling me
about your marriage

and how for six months
you've been going through
a difficult divorce

and cos of that you couldn't
honestly say that you were feeling
any deep loss over Freddy's passing?

That you really wanted that marriage
to be over? It was true.
I don't doubt that, ma'am -

that's what's bothering me. What?
Why didn't you
sign the divorce decree? Honestly?

I didn't like
the communal debt clause.

The communal debt clause...

But your husband's attorney told me
that Mr Brower signed and mailed
a copy of the final decree

on October 2nd and that he had
eliminated the communal debt clause.

And your attorney told me
that you got a copy of that document
on October 4th,

almost a month ago.
And you never signed it.

I see.

Well, yes, I suppose that does
need to be explained, Lieutenant.

Have you ever gone through
a divorce, Lieutenant?
Heaven forbid.

I hope for your sake you never do.
All that... tough talk, Lieutenant,

fades like a blush
when all of a sudden
the doorbell rings

and somebody hands you
this very imposing legal document
called Final Decree.

And there's
your soon-to-be ex-mate's signature

already in place.

And the only thing
that's missing,

the only thing that keeps the door
from closing on a chapter
in your life,

which you personally,
royally played your part in blowing
all to hell,

is your own John Hancock.

Well, let me tell you,
Lieutenant,...

..it gives one pause.

I didn't sign the final decree,
Lieutenant,

because I couldn't bring myself
to admit that what was being granted
was what I actually wanted...!

It's funny... how we often
learn things about ourselves...

..much too late to change them.

Oh, Freddy...

(PIANO MUSIC)

(PHONE)

Hello?

Hello-o-o...! (GIGGLES)

(Are you insane? I asked you
never to call me at home.)

(LOUDER) You should direct this call
to the office.

I'm still your ex-niece-in-law,
Leon.

Is speaking to each other
a criminal offence?
Why did you call me here?

Why are you listening to that
terrible music? Come to the point.
The Lieutenant called me today.

What about? "The final decree."
I don't understand.
What are you getting at?

Freddy,... the miserable,
back-stabbing louse,

changed the divorce papers
the way I wanted them

and signed them
the same day he won the lottery -
October 2nd.

They were sent to me two days later.
You signed 'em?

I couldn't, Leon. If I did,
we'd be divorced.

And then
he wouldn't have needed you -
darling...

But what did you tell Columbo?
(GIGGLES)

I was brilliant, Leon.

Probably even better than you.

I told him
that when I saw the final decree

I broke down. I got all weepy
and sentimental

and just couldn't bring myself
to sign because deep down inside

I was probably still in love
with Freddy

and didn't really want the marriage
to end. Think he bought
that bowl o' mush?!

I think I almost had him in tears.

He's coming up
on his 25th wedding anniversary.

This is a man that understands love,
Leon. Maybe.

But Leon,...

..could I just have - hmmm -
a COUPLA million?

"(LAUGHS)"

'Night - hon...(!)

(MUSIC CONTINUING)

(VARIOUS) # For he's
a jolly good fellow
For he's a jolly good fellow

# For he's a jolly good fellow...
Which nobody can deny #

Been up to the river lately,
Mr Lamarr? I've been trying
to get up there, do some fishing,

but what's suffering
is my golf game. Happy birthday,
Mr Lamarr.

Well, Lieutenant,
it's not my birthday -

this is an unexpected thank you
from my staff and I appreciate it.

This year we're gonna have
our Christmas bonus early.

You deserve it
and I'm proud to give it to you.

How often do you get to work
for a $30m lottery winner
as nice as Mr Lamarr?

(ALL) Aw...!

Thank you, sugar, that's sweet.
This is for you, sir, a souvenir.
Oh! Thank you very much!

That's the winning number!
That's right here on the cake too.
I gotta tell you a story -

the damnedest thing
that ever happened to me.
I'll never forget it

as long as I live and you'll find it
interesting. I was at Freddy's,
his friends were there,

having a wake and, uh... Do you mind
holding this, sir?

They suddenly wanted to take
a picture and they handed me
Freddy's camera...

..and I'm fooling with this thing
here and suddenly...

I couldn't believe it. Sir,

see if you see what I saw.

Do you see it, sir? No?

Look in this area here.

No? Nothing?

OK.

If you cover up these two
and if you read from the right -

4, 5, 6, 8, 11, 16, the first
six numbers - they're the winning
lottery number! That's right. So?

Well, you can imagine my shock
when I looked out of Freddy's camera

and I saw the winning lottery ticket.
It was like something
that happened in a dream.

What is that? Was that a coincidence?

Is that what it was?
It's not a coincidence,
because I gave this camera to Freddy

and taught him how to use it. I make
damn good pictures myself.
I'll show them to you sometime.

These numbers are second nature
to me - Sir, what you said,
I believe that was right -

it was no coincidence.

We're closed, sir. Sorry.
Come back another time.

Thank you. 'Bye-bye.

Is Miss Brower still there?
Somebody for you, sweetie,

but you still have time
to duck out the back if you want.
May I talk to you? It's important.

I'd better see what he wants.
See you in the morning. OK, 'bye.

Thank you.

I have some very unsettling news

and I'm afraid I don't know
any delicate way to approach it.

What news, Lieutenant?
It's about your husband.

What, Lieutenant?
I don't understand -

what could be worse
than the news that he was dead?

The fact that he was murdered.

Are you alright?

Yes.

Would it be better if we sat down?
No, I'm - I'm fine.

I mean, it was just such a shock
hearing you say that. I mean -
Freddy murdered?!

Why would anybody
wanna murder Freddy?!

That's a very interesting question.
Isn't it?

We have nine thousand dollars.
Would someone offer ten thousand?

Ten thousand on my right.
Bid on the lovely
turn-of-the-century brooch.

Would someone make it eleven?
Eleven thousand.

Is twelve offered? Twelve, anyone?

No. Going once for eleven,

going twice... and sold
for eleven thousand dollars.

The next item is number 19
in the catalogue,

an heirloom 40-carat
diamond necklace
of exceptional quality.

We shall entertain an opening bid
of $300,000.

I have $300,000 on my right.
$300,000 is the bid.

I'm looking for 350.

I'm looking for 350. Do I see 350?

I have 350 as bid
by the man in the aisle.

I'm looking for $400,000.

May I have $400,000? Well,
I have $400,000 on my right.

The bid is $400,000. I'm looking
for 450.

May I have a bid for -
I have $450,000 from the gentleman
in the raincoat.

You're not bidding, are you?!
He's not bidding! Were you bidding?

Bidding? He wasn't bidding!
Were you bidding, sir?

Bidding?!

No, I - Please, sir,
you mustn't wave your catalogue.
Please sit down.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me repeat
once again -

please,
unless you intend to make a bid,

do not gesture with your hands
or catalogues. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Ssshh! Please! And now item 20 -

earrings of a most unusual nature.
How far am I going on this one?
Up to 800,000.

I didn't know. It does
create confusion. I can see that,

that's why I don't go
to these places.

My wife, she bid $80 for a footstool
made out of coffee cans. Can you
imagine that? No. I can't.

She bids 500,000. Do I hear 550?

650,000 dollars.

(GENERAL MURMURING) Silent bids,
please, Mr Lamarr.

Does anyone care to respond?
I'm looking for $700,000.

No? Going once, going twice,

sold to Mr Leon Lamarr.

Nicely done! Thank you, ma'am.

( MAN) Bravo! Bravo! Very kind
of you, sir. Congratulations,
glad you got what you wanted.

Is it so important,
what you came here for?
Very important, sir.

I called your office. They told me
you were here. I'll thank 'em(!)
They said

I could've left a message, but -
Great. Well, sir,
it was too - too personal.

It has to do with your nephew.
Hm-mm.

Sir, there's reason to believe
that your nephew's death
was not accidental. In fact,

there is reason - Just a moment?

Jodie,...

..was I bidding on this? No, sir,
this is 1469.

You said you were lukewarm on it.

Yeah, I remember.

What was it that - that you -
you were saying
that it wasn't an accident?

I don't think so, sir. I think
it was... Do you wanna know
what I think?

Hold your hat. I think it was murder.

Murder? What the hell
are you talking about, man?!

What in heaven's -

Going once, going twice
and sold for 500,000. Come on,
let's go.

And now item 21 in your catalogue,

the beautiful Oriental jade pendant

set in pure platinum
with 22-carat gold filigree.

I've an opening bid of $100,000.

Jack?

What are you saying, murder?!

Who would want to murder Freddy?
What did he ever do to anyone?
You said he slipped in the bath.

I don't think he slipped, sir,
I think he was placed.
What is that supposed to mean? Well,

it means that whoever killed him
first knocked him unconscious -

Detective Stroller, Mr Leon Lamarr.

How do you do, sir? How are you?
I mean, whoever killed him
knocked him unconscious first,

then they undressed him. Jack,
you don't have to stand there
holding that.

Put it down there.

Whoever killed him, sir,
they knocked him unconscious first,
then they undressed him,

then they dropped him into the tub.
How do you even come up with an idea
like that?

Do you have anything
to substantiate it, establish
such a horror story? You mean,

in a courtroom, sir? I mean
right here now to me.
Where were you, sir, that night?

I don't know where this is leading,
but I don't like the sound of it.
I'd appreciate an answer. Well,

you know the answer. Why ask
the question? No, I don't.
Trying to irritate me, then? No,

not at all. Cut the bull here!
Please! Mr Lamarr? Sir?
On the night Freddy died,

you were at your house. I know that,
yes. I saw you there. Exactly.

But that was after nine o'clock.
I don't know where you were at seven.

Oh, I see, Lieutenant, I -
well, at any o'clock I was home.

Home all night? The whole night.

At your party.

Wearing a costume. You weren't.

No, sir, I was wearing my suit.
People thought it was a costume.
Yes, sir.

That thing you were wearing,
was that an English king, sir?
It was King George.

Remember? Boston Tea Party.
Boston Tea Party - yeah,
that rings a bell.

King George... Yeah, I remember now.
King George... Was this the costume
you were wearing, sir?

Is there any significance
to these questions?

Because - I would appreciate it
if you would identify it, sir.
This the actual jacket? Hell,

I don't know. Let's see.

Same material. Yes,

same colour. Size 44? 44, right.

Looks like it would fit. Yes.
That's the jacket, yes.
And the pants, sir?

Yes. The pants, yes. The socks?
Well, you couldn't be sure
about the socks. No. And the shoes?

Couldn't be sure. No.

Couldn't be sure, no.
Bit like the socks.

And this thing here, sir?

Is this something you wear
around your neck? A medallion,
worn around the neck. OK.

OK, sir, we're almost finished.

I just gotta show you a couple of
photographs that your nephew took.

You'd be surprised.
He's a pretty good photographer.

I'm not surprised, sir, I said
he was very talented. Yes, sir.

Does anything strike you in these,
sir.

Well, there's a chimpanzee
right there in all the photos.

He's a friendly guy, isn't he?
Yes, sir. Likes people. Right.
Was this taken at Freddy's studio?

It's hard to tell, no background.
Well, in this one, the photos
on the wall -

I'd say it's his studio. When was
the last time you were there, sir?
I don't remember.

Now that is a lie. A what?!

Jack?

You got it, Jack? Got it.

That's a blow-up of a fingerprint
that was made at Freddy's studio

and I'm afraid, sir,... it places you
there on the night of his death.

I'm afraid you're a fool,
Lieutenant.

I've been to Freddy's many times -
I'm not surprised
you'd find my fingerprint.

But I am surprised
that you'd try to use that print

to place me there on the night
of his death. Where'd you get
that idea? That's not fingerprint.

That's the chimp's.

And I didn't find that fingerprint
on Freddy's doorknob.

And I didn't find it
on his refrigerator.

And I didn't find it on the sink.

But on this medallion, which was
hanging around your neck.

We know the chimp was in the studio
on the night of the murder.
Now we know YOU were there.

Two things that did you in, sir -

this badge...

..and those photographs.
Here the chimp's
going for a lady's bracelet.

And here he's got
a man's cigarette case.

And here he's going for
the lady's earrings. And on the night
of the investigation

he was grabbing this badge.

What do these things have in common?

They're all shiny.

And they're all metal.

Just like this medallion.

(GRANDFATHER CLOCK CHIMES)

Hello, Leon.

What are you doing here, Nancy?
Oh, Mrs Brower, well,
thank you for coming.

I wanna thank you
for your co-operation. Co-operation,
uh?

I hope it hasn't been too unpleasant
for you. I was told you had something
to tell me, Lieutenant. Well,

like the jokes, there's good news
and bad news. Which do you want
first? The bad. The bad news is,

Mr Lamarr here is gonna be arrested
for the murder of your husband.
Oh my God! Leon! How COULD you?!

Huh!

And what's the good news?
That you've just inherited
the better part of $24m after taxes.

What? It wasn't Mr Lamarr
who won the lottery,
it was your late husband.

Even though you were
in the process of getting a divorce
you were still legally married

at the time of the draw. I get
the money?! All of those millions.
It'll be a cold day in hell... Leon!

You lying, treacherous bitch.
You sold old Leon out.
Wanna see some co-operation, girl?

I'm gonna show you
some co-operation. Who was it
pretending to be Freddy

calling me from the studio
that night? Leon!
His own darned wife.

You wish I was as dead as Freddy,
don't you?! Leon! I hate you
more than your wife will!

Alright, book him! Leon! Book him.
Leon! Ooh, I'm gonna get you!
(LAUGHS) (COMMOTION CONTINUES)

G'night.

Y'know, Jack, I was thinking
about my wife's anniversary gift -

she got enough jewellery. She got
two ears - how many earrings
can she wear?

What we need to do is spend more time
together, just the two of us.
I'll take her on a trip. That's nice.

Getting away on a cruise ship?
I was thinking more like camping out
in the woods, going fishing,

cooking over a fire -
how's that sound? To me, great.
You sure your wife likes that stuff?

My wife would rather get dressed
and go out dancing. Y'know,
on second thoughts,

maybe I oughta have
our old car repainted.

Jack, it's 25 years,
I oughta do something special.

Your car or her car?

I didn't hear that.

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