All language subtitles for Columbo.Columbo.Goes.to.the.Guillotine.1989.1080p.MY5.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-None_track3_[eng]

Let's have some light on the lady,
please.

Raise your left hand,
and what do you see?

A person with her left hand raised.
That's what you're supposed to see.

We're still calibrating.
Talk to me, Dr Hall.

My name is Paula Hall.
My doctorate is in parapsychology.

I'm the director of the Anneman
Institute For Psychic Research,

and I feel silly talking about
myself like this.

Also, everything I just said
is a lie. Too early to tell.

Anybody got a question for Dr Hall?
How old are you, Paula?

Inadmissible question.
(LAUGHS) We'll ask something else.

What is the head of the Institute
doing in the isolation chamber?

Why should the assistants
have all the fun?

I thought I'd try it myself
this time. False. Not yet, Mr Blake.

We're still calibrating.
But the answer does appear false.

Ooh, what d'you say to that, Paula?
If you really wanna know,

I'm here cos I damn well don't trust
anybody else.

(LAUGHS) Oh. Please, Paula,
I have to calibrate my own machine.

The test'll be difficult enough.
No jokes, please. Polygraph ready.

For the official record,
it is Monday, March 14th.

Third of our series of tests
establishing

the telepathic capabilities of our
subject, Mr Elliott Blake. Again,

we are being observed by

a distinguished panel of CIA
and Pentagon officials.

Let us begin.

Dr Hall, you'll find in front of you
a deck of cards.

Please shuffle the deck thoroughly,
and cut it.

Ready. Place the deck,
face down, in front of you.

When I say begin, turn them over,
one by one, and name each card.

Whether you name each card correctly
or incorrectly is up to you.

Is that clear? Yes.
Now, Mr Blake,

you'll attempt to determine,
to the best of your ability,

whether her statements are true or
false. Is that clear? Perfectly.

Very well. Test number one. Begin.

I'm looking at a circle.

False.

Test number two.

Square.

True.

Test number three.

Cross.

Mr Blake?

False.

(SIGHS) Test 399.

Circle.

False. No, no, no.

(SIGHS) True.

Test 400.

A wavy line.

(SIGHS) False.

And that completes our series
at this time.

The third card after a wavy line
is always false.

How many times have we been through
this? Sorry, I tried.

Try to understand
there's a precision to all this.

It starts with the premise that you
will lose your institute unless you

please the Military and Mr Harrow.
D'you think you did? No, not yet.

Not yet. Because you gave them 74%
accuracy when you and I agreed

to set a level of 86%. Right. We'll
rehearse it again. The first answer

after the square's true, unless
there's an intervening circle.

The second answer after
a wavy line's false,

unless that wavy line itself
is false. Or is it true?

God, I don't know any more!

So much for our scientific study
of extrasensory perception.

Our Mr Harrow is not impressed
with statistics.

This man is in the market
for miracles.

I have the power to astonish him,
you, and the entire world,

but I am not a dancing dog
in a carnival.

He'll be back tomorrow.
We have to show him more.

God, we never should've started
this! We started this for you.

To maintain your funding,
my dearest doctor.

Tomorrow I can resume my work
in London,

if that's what you would prefer?
No.

I want you here with me.

Then believe this.

God has blessed me with gifts
as far beyond trickery

as the stars lie beyond this earth.

You're frightened, Paula.

I know.

I always know

what you're thinking,

what you're feeling.

Mr Harrow. Colonel. Has Dyson
arrived yet? Yes, I believe he has.

The Soviet Union is deeply engaged
in psychic research

for Intelligence purposes.
Either they're a pack of fools,

or we're missing a very important
bit. Take a position, Doctor.

Our position's obvious.
In terms of practical results,

Elliott's scores are the highest
ever recorded at this Institute.

The next time we suspect
a double agent in our midst,

I'll just frighten him to death
with your test scores.

Exactly what do you want of me?
Hard proof of your abilities.

The impossible on demand.
That's a fair description.

For a subject
of your qualifications.

What flavour of impossible?
In general terms,

a demonstration that you can,
telepathically and precisely,

intercept the thoughts and actions
of an enemy. Fair enough?

Nothing's that certain
in the field of parapsychology.

I think we can satisfy Mr Harrow's
fierce thirst for certainty.

On what terms?
Our terms.

Are you willing, Mr Blake, to submit
to one more test?

One conducted by an outside
authority? I have no objections.

Phil?

Mr Dyson!

I'm sure you're both familiar
with Max Dyson.

April Fool, Paula.
Say hello to the bogey man.

This is your "authority"?
A fake magician?

Fake?

I'm a magician.
Max the Magnificent.

A pretty good mentalist in my time.

I've certainly learned
all the tricks.

Mr Dyson has made a speciality
of dealing with psychics.

The expression is
"exposing charlatans".

This Institute exposes charlatans.
Good. We oughta get along fine.

You're

Elliott Blake.

And you're Max...

the Magnificent.
Just so we understand each other.

I've tested hundreds of you people
with your incredible, mystical,

psychic gifts.

Surely some were genuine.
None. Not one.

Nothing I couldn't explain
and duplicate.

That's in case anyone here
has the idea I'm a believer. So,

if you still want to play,
these are the protocols.

We'll try some, um, distant viewing.

We'll need a day or two to study
the conditions.

If the terms are as straightforward
as Magnificent Max,

we can make a contribution to his
education in psychic phenomena.

We might even make him a believer.

D'you realise what this means,
Mr Blake? Yes.

It could mean the end of my career.

Or possibly yours, Max.

Now, we shall see.
Yes, now we shall see.

(FOGHORN)

That's for the past.
Now we're matched against each other.

Elliott Blake,
I've been reading about you.

European journals.

When did you change your name?
When I got out, Max.

Three years after you.
120 degrees in the shade,

or an afternoon of poker
in a Ugandan prison.

I read that in your book.

Dyson On Mind-reading.

You're giving away our secrets, Max.

We survived the African slammer,
together.

You were a very good student.
Why not?

You taught me everything you knew.
Everything I know.

What are you going to do about the
test? I'm gonna try and fool you,

unless you back off.
I can't do that. You can.

No, no, no.

Gone too far now.

For both of us.
You better be good, kid.

Oh, I am, Max.

I'm very good.

Ready, Mr Blake?
I'm ready, Max.

Pursuant to instructions from
Mr Harrow, I've designed today's test

to eliminate any possibility
of fraud, collusion or deception.

The selective problem is viewing
at a distance.

Three military officers in the field

will randomly select
three distant target images,

and attempt to project those images
to our subject, Elliott Blake,

by mental telepathy. He'll attempt
to intercept these projections

via extrasensory perception.

That, ladies and gentleman,
is our test.

Right?

Cars Alpha, Bravo and Charlie,
wherever you are,

as soon as you can do so safely,
pull over and report in.

This is Bravo reporting. Alpha
reporting in. Charlie reporting.

You have each been given
a sealed package. Open it.

Inside you'll find a city map book,
an eye shield, felt-tip pen,

a rubber band, a compass
and an instant camera.

To ensure that each of you select
an absolutely random viewing target,

please put on the eye shield.

Flip through the pages of the map
book and stop at any random page.

Take the felt-tip pen and touch it
to the page you've selected.

Then wrap the rubber band around the
map book and remove the eye shield.

When you get there, report in.

Any objections, Mr Blake?

It's your test, Max.

This is Bravo. I'm in position.

Mr Harrow, select a direction.
North, south, east or west. West.

Turn to the west and take
a photograph of what you see.

Now clear your mind of everything
else and concentrate intently

on the scene before you.

Alright, Mr Blake, if you're able
to receive any images,

please record them on your pad.

I have something.

Place your sketch in the drawer
on your left.

Back to you, Lieutenant.
Place the photograph of your target

into the fax machine next to you.

Well, Max?
Now we'll see.

We've got him.
Yeah.

Congratulations.

I think we have some work for you,
Mr Blake.

Are you a believer, Max?
Congratulations.

(BELL RINGS)

(HUMS / BELL RINGS)

(MECHANICAL WHIR)

Bad idea you coming here.
I should've said no.

I wanted this, Max.

What is all this?
It's a guillotine.

I don't exactly get rich hiring out
to people like Mr Harrow.

This,

I build magic effects.

I have a magic store downstairs.

Do me a favour? Lie down.

Why did you help me today?
Quite a little stunt we pulled.

Maybe we should take it on the road.
Why?

You have to ask me that
after what we went through in Uganda?

So we cooked up a little illusion for
Mr Harrow. I'll survive the insult.

See how you like this.

Beautiful effect, huh?

You know, for a moment
this afternoon,

I really thought that you were
going to betray me.

Again.

What d'you mean?
That show that you put on.

I thought it might be to make it up
to me. You know,

after what happened. In the prison?

Remember, Max?!

The escape we planned?

And then, one day, you vanished.

Max the Magnificent

was out.

Then the guards knew exactly where
to look for my clever escape tricks.

My God, is that what you think?
I think you sold me, Max.

Freedom for you.

(COCKS GUN)

Three more years for me.

That isn't true!
And every hour of every night

I dreamt about being like this!
Let me go! Here and now!

I gave them money!
I never betrayed you!

I never gave them you!
If you wanna kill me you can,

but remember what we meant
to each other in that place,

what we gave each other, then put
that together with this craziness!

It doesn't make sense! Argh!

OK, Max.

I had to know.

Your hands are shaking.

Be calm, old friend.
Go back to your machine.

Maybe I will.

No guilt to hide, hm?

You finish up.

And then, er, well,

perhaps we can have a drink, hm?

It's almost done.
Well, you'll need this.

No! What are you doing?
Tell me again

about our friendship!
You don't understand!

I had to get out of that place! No!

You didn't really think that I would
forgive you, did you, Max? Hm?

Didn't your wife just have a baby?
Yes, sir, last month. A boy.

What did you name him?
Harry. Harry.

That's some terrific name for a baby.
What's happening here, Officer?

I don't know, Lieutenant.
The owner, the guy behind the bar,

he won't talk to nobody
but Homicide. Nobody else.

Hm.

Are you the owner?
Who are you?

Lt Columbo, Homicide.

Are you the owner?
Sgt Russo, retired.

What's the problem here, Sergeant?

Blood.

What's up there?
Some kind of workshop.

Belongs to the magic shop next door.

We're getting there! OK. Did he
often work late? All night sometimes.

That's why he bolts that door
and locks the freight elevator.

If nobody can get in there, what
happened to him? We got it, Lt!

Oh!
Urgh!

You better not come in.

The time of death is somewhere
between 11 and midnight,

and you can count on it.
Right.

This is the screwdriver we found
in his hand.

Look at this, Sergeant.

Whaddya think of that? This whole
place is one big magic trick.

You can't believe anything you see.

Both doors were locked
from the inside.

The freight elevator locked,
the door to the stairs locked,

the safety lock, it's hanging from
its chain. He obviously screwed up.

It's an accident,
and you can count on it.

That was off when I got here.
And when I got here, too.

It could've been a suicide. Whoever
heard of suicide by guillotine?

I still say it's an accident. Have
the lab check this out for blood.

You never know.

He was loved. Oh, not by those
mind-readers and psychics,

they weren't so crazy about him
once he got on their case.

But magicians loved him.

I loved him. I've never seen
so many wonderful tricks.

Those beautiful Chinese rings
and that terrific birdcage.

Once, on a vacation with Mrs Columbo,
I saw a magician.

Made a tiger disappear
right out of the ring,

but I have never seen a trick like
that guillotine trick upstairs.

That must be some dangerous trick.
Not if you're careful.

Max built in some safeguards,
made it all foolproof.

What happened didn't look very
foolproof. How d'you explain that?

Are you sure you won't join me?
No, thank you.

Max must've gotten careless.
Forgot to lock in the safety bolt.

To Max the Magnificent.
To Max and all of these tricks.

You know how they all work?
That's my job.

A very beautiful and ancient art.

And the mind-reading part,
how does all that work?

Consultant at universities,
corporations, government agencies.

Exposing those ESP people.

He even wrote a book on it.
Dyson On Mind-Reading.

Max was so good himself he never
found a psychic who wasn't a fake.

Not a single one - until yesterday.

Is that a fact, sir?

He conducted a big test
out at some think-tank institute.

Really shook him up.

Are you sure you won't join me?

Well, Mr Spindler,
I think off off-duty now.

(LAUGHS) There you go.

Max Dyson.

A magician's magician.

To Max.
Max the Magnificent.

The psychic who passed Mr Dyson's
test, ma'am,

he must be an extremely gifted
person. He is indeed, Lieutenant.

The test was an enormous success.

A milestone in authenticated
parapsychology.

This Mr Blake,
could I meet Mr Blake?

Elliott? Why?

It's just police routine
for our report.

When someone dies the way Mr Dyson
did, in a strange way,

we have to make out a full report.

Mr Dyson and Mr Blake,
have they worked together before?

I wouldn't say that. If anything,

I'd say they worked against each
other. They met only a few days ago.

Let me see if I can find Elliott.
Excuse me.

Lieutenant, would you mind waiting
here?

No. Sorry, I thought you wanted me
to come. I'll be right back.

Stay together and follow me.

We'll have a look at our special
research operations.

Our subjects have been selected
from all over the world.

As bizarre as these studies may
seem, bear in mind these phenomena

are also being closely analysed
in the Soviet Union.

Here our researchers are testing
some visiting telepaths.

Computer analysis show that these
folks are scoring 67%.

That's well above the national norm,
but far below Institute standards.

And here, in this booth,
they're testing Turkish twins

whose brain waves
are perfectly synchronised,

a prerequisite for telepathic
communication.

And this subject possesses
an extraordinary ability to detect

colours and shapes
with her fingertips.

A form of eyeless vision,

utilising an unknown form
of electromagnetic radiation

that could have military
applications as important as radar.

But we humans aren't
the only species that exhibit

extrasensory perception.

(MACHINE BEEPS) As you can see,
plants, too, are subject to fear.

A phenomena that may well replace
chemicals as a military defoliant.

This way, please.

In our computer centre
we'll see how all this works out

in terms of statistical analysis.

(BEEPS) It's OK, don't worry. See?
It's not lit.

Lt Columbo? I'm Elliott Blake.
I understand you wanted to see me.

I do indeed, sir.
Forgive me for wandering off,

but all these things
are absolutely fascinating.

Lt Columbo, police, Homicide.

But you knew who I was right away.
Incredible. Your ID badge helped.

Now, how can I help you?
I'm not sure, sir.

I'm investigating the death
of Max Dyson.

Whenever someone dies
and he isn't under a doctor's care

we have to do these things.
Is there some place we could talk?

The door's marked "secret".
Are you sure we should be in here?

Everything about this place
is secret.

This is where the Institute does
most of its important testing.

It's a fantastic place.

Most of their research is funded
by the government.

As you can imagine,
the potential military application

of extrasensory perception
is virtually limitless.

Right. I never thought of that.

Is that what they call
an isolation booth?

Isolation chamber. That's where
I did my work yesterday.

And passed Mr Dyson's test.
That's right, I passed his test.

You were the first psychic who ever
did that, aren't you? So I'm told.

That's very impressive, sir.
My goodness.

And Mr Dyson, what was his reaction
to your passing his test?

Shock, disbelief, bitterness.

Understandable, of course, when you
consider he spent his whole life

denying the validity of ESP.
I do understand that, sir.

Dr Hall said you never met Mr Dyson
until a few days ago.

Is that right?
Two days before the test.

Forgive me,
but that strikes me as very odd,

you being in the same business and
all. Hardly the same business.

I'm a psychic,
Max Dyson was a magician.

He made his living convincing his
clients that all psychic phenomena

are fraudulent. For the past
12 years I've lived in Europe,

where the psychic community
takes pride in policing itself,

without the aid of Max Dyson.
Well, I gotta admit, I'm confused.

What confuses you? You feeling
the way you do about Mr Dyson,

I can't help wondering, why did you
agree to be tested by him?

Well, that's simple.
Dyson's client insisted upon it.

D'you mind telling me
who that client was?

I'm sorry, I can't tell you
his name.

Like everything else around here,
that's a secret.

Well, here I go asking
the wrong questions again.

Whenever I do that, just stop me,
the way you just did.

One more thing, sir.

Can you do me a favour?
It'll only take a minute.

Of course, if I can.
Oh, you can, I'm convinced of that.

Well, what is it?
Can you read my mind? Your mind?

Tell me what I'm thinking.
I can try. Over here.

Now, you see, Lieutenant,
these are six ESP cards.

Square, circle,

cross, wavy line,

triangle and a star.

Mentally select one of them,

then draw a picture of it
in your notebook.

Any card I want? Any card. Just think
about it and draw a picture of it.

Is it OK if I change my mind?
Of course.

Right, I got it.

Now,

concentrate intently upon the image
that you drew.

OK.

You can open your eyes now,
Lieutenant.

Was that the card
you were thinking of? Yes.

That's incredible. I sense that was
the one you were thinking of

before you changed your mind.
That's right, sir.

That's the exact card. Look.

I was thinking of a circle,
then I changed my mind,

and you knew that.
You knew the exact card.

What I wouldn't give
to be able to do that.

In my business, if I knew exactly
what the suspect was thinking,

well, I would make some wonderful
detective. I imagine you would.

(ALL TALK AT ONCE)

Which one of you got money? I do.
Show me.

Then we do the Svengali deck.
Alright.

Be with you in a minute, Lieutenant.
No hurry.

Here's an ordinary deck of cards,
but watch very, very carefully.

Backs are all the same,
faces are all different.

What a bunch of saps. Bert's
hustling 'em. Are you a magician?

Me? Nah, just a cop.
Are you a magician?

Watch this. Pick a card.
Any one you like.

Got it?
Got it.

In the middle.
In the middle.

No, it's not. It's on the top.
What's your card? Ace of diamonds.

Is this the ace of diamonds?
Let's do that again.

In the middle.
In the middle.

And off the top.

That's practise. Study and practise.

(LAUGHTER)
Those kids, they're just kids. Saps!

They never even heard of practise!

Let me see your cigar.

Nice and sharp.

I wanna thank you for that. They
call this the finger guillotine.

Stick your finger in there.

Are you sure you know how to work
this? Don't worry. Max taught me.

Now that's a neat trick.
The name's Tommy.

I do birthday parties, Bar Mitzvahs,
whatever you need.

Give me a call sometime.

I can do it very well.
That's called the Svengali deck.

D'you know how to work this thing?
Sure. I figured you'd ask.

That's why I brought this.
What's that? Your head.

(LAUGHS) Now your head goes here.

OK, Lieutenant,

now the first thing a magician does
is prove to the audience

that this is a real guillotine.

That's the convincer, where the
magician shows the blade's sharp.

That's one thing
I'm already convinced.

Now you lie down on the board,
face up...

Listen, if I have to lose a finger,
OK, but a whole neck?

Come on, you're gonna love it.

That's it. Just lie back.

Down there.

Are you sure
you're doing this right? Yeah,

pretty sure.

Comfy?

Good. Here we go.

How's your neck, Lieutenant?

Pfff!

I'm glad Mrs Columbo wasn't here
to see this.

She'd have had a heart attack.
I just had one.

I gotta ask how this thing works.
You didn't.

You asked me if I knew
how to work it.

That's an entirely different thing.
Different than what?

Asking me to explain
how the guillotine works.

That's what I was gonna ask.
You were gonna ask me that?

That's what I had in mind.
I can't tell. But this is for Max.

Max was a magician, I'm a magician,
you're not a magician.

Magicians never tell.
I gotta get back downstairs.

Let me know if there's anything I
can do to help you. Anything at all.

See ya later.

Of all the magi we have known,
this was the wisest.

Let us pray now for our brother of
the earthly mysteries, Max Dyson.

He's enquiring mind and vast
knowledge embraced all the enigmas

of our secret science.

In theory he was unexcelled,
in execution perfect.

In his brief, illuminating, journey,
he unlocked all the arcane secrets

of those who came before him.

Now he has been summoned by
the Grand Master of the Universe

to join his mystic circle and to be
initiated into the most miraculous

mystery of them all.

Max the Magnificent has performed
his most breathtaking vanishing act.

In a twinkling he has gone
from our stage.

We applaud him and sing farewell.

(MECHANICAL WHIR)

(BELL TOLLS)

Er, Mr Blake?

Mr Blake! Sir!

Er, excuse me, Mr Blake.
Yes, Lieutenant?

Er, it was a very enjoyable funeral.
Very moving.

For a moment there I believe you had
a tear in your eye. Did I?

To tell you the truth, I thought
that was peculiar, Mr Blake,

considering that you were what we
might call professional adversaries.

If a man weeps, he weeps
at funerals. You hardly knew him.

There are those here who loved him.
One respects that. I understand.

What I wanna do, Mr Blake, I wanna
talk to you about my problem.

My report on what happened when
Mr Dyson lost his head, so to speak.

I have to get back to the Institute.
Which brings me to another point.

Whenever I'm stuck on a case,
whenever I don't know what to do,

my wife hands me an article from one
of those supermarket magazines

about some psychic
that goes to the scene of the crime,

feels around for the vibrations,
and he solves the case.

Such things are quite common
in parapsychology journals.

There was that very successful
Dutch psychic - Exactly.

That's what I wanna ask you.
Could you do that for me?

I've never done such a thing. It
could be a very important experiment.

I hate to bother you, but could you
come down to where Mr Dyson died

and see if you could sense anything?
I agree. Perhaps I could try.

Well, that's all I can ask, sir.

(BELL RINGS)

Sorry I'm late. Oh, no. I used
the time to start Mr Dyson's book.

Did you know he had written a book
on mind-reading?

No.
So, this is where it all happened?

It's not just a book
on how to pretend to read minds,

it's all about his life. Did you know
he was in a prison in Uganda? No,

I didn't know that either.

Is this some sort of safety device?
It's called a safety bolt.

That's the way it was hanging
the night he died.

The reason he ended up in
that prison, so he says,

"One card trick too many,
the game was poker."

There was some kind of an argument,
some... Here I go on about Mr Dyson

and you came to help me. Sorry.
I'll sit down over here

and you go right ahead, Mr Blake.
Exactly what is it you expect of me?

I thought maybe you could sense.
Sense?

Vibrations.
Like how Mr Dyson died in this room.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Are you sensing something? Please,
Lieutenant. Sorry, sir. Sorry.

(INHALES)

There is an emotional mist
in this place.

A residue of despair

and hopelessness.

Pain

beyond belief.

And here,

an ache of anguish

as tangible as

brick.

Oppressive.

A passion to escape

from life itself.

Torment, death,

and freedom

to end it all.

(GASPS)

Oh, I'm sorry,
I-I don't think I can get any more.

Suicide? What a terrible,
terrible way to die.

That's the most incredible thing
I've ever seen.

To draw all that
right out of the air. The atmosphere.

The residue. Death. Suicide.
So it seems.

But it couldn't have been suicide.

The emotional track was as strong
as perfume.

Why would he commit suicide?
I observed him to be a broken man.

After his test with the Institute
his entire universe was shattered.

After his life-long claim
that all psychics were frauds,

he had nowhere left to stand.
That could explain suicide,

but what about this? Cabbage?
Cabbage. Wait till you see this.

A 3lb corned beef.

Corned beef.
Corned beef and cabbage, sir.

Why would a man go to the market
and buy himself a 3lb corned beef

and pick out two head of cabbage,
then go home and cut off his head?

He could've bought these things
at any time. You're right again,

but what about this?

The receipt from the market.
You see the time and the date?

Do you see what I mean, sir?
Yes. Then I agree.

We must eliminate suicide -
as you understand suicide.

Still,

my impressions of this place are
pain, despair and hopelessness.

Suicide has many modes.

Sometimes the victim can, um,

disguise it to himself.

Provoke an accident

and perish.

An accident, Lieutenant.
That's terrific sensing, sir.

An accident that the victim
wants to happen. Exactly.

But it couldn't have been. I don't
follow. It's this screwdriver, sir.

To the guillotine, please.

It's the same screwdriver
that we found in the victim's hand

when we found him lying like this.

Only without a head, sir.
No head and a screwdriver.

Can you see how the screwdriver
is in his hand? Yes, Lieutenant,

I can see very clearly.
Now, in this position,

before the blade came down, the only
screws he could reach were here.

Right here.

Right here inside this track, sir.
Like this, sir.

But this screwdriver,
this is just a regular screwdriver.

What they call a slotted screwdriver
for regular screws.

But if you'll look at this screw,
sir, you see here?

You see that kind of screw?
That's a Phillips head screw.

That's a completely different kind
of screw.

And a Phillips head screw takes
a different kind of screwdriver,

like this one here.
And we found it on the floor,

along with a lot of other tools,
near the guillotine.

D'you see the difference, sir?
D'you see what that means?

What d'you think it means?

That Mr Dyson couldn't have had
the slotted screwdriver in his hand,

not when he died.
What would he be doing with it?

It means that he must've been working
with the Phillips head screwdriver.

And when he died,
the Phillips head screwdriver,

it fell on the floor, like this.
(THUD!)

And here's the really interesting
part.

Somebody, somebody who was here,

must've picked up the other
screwdriver by mistake

and put it into Mr Dyson's hand maybe
to make it look like an accident.

But it wasn't an accident, sir.

That's what these two screwdrivers
tell us.

If it couldn't have been
an accident,

and it couldn't have been suicide,

are you intimating that Max Dyson
was, um, murdered?

Oh, no, sir.

I'm saying straight out
that the man was murdered.

Because we have to consider this,
too.

When the police came they found this.

It's called a carver. It was lying
here, like this, way over here.

And the lab boys,
they found strong traces of blood,

Mr Dyson's blood, on this carver.

Which means

that when he was killed,

the carver was like this.

And the murderer,
would that be the same one

that put the screwdriver back
into Mr Dyson's hand?

And the murderer,
he took the carver off

and he laid it over here,

so all of this would look like
an accident.

But it certainly was a murder, sir.

But the newspaper said
that the workshop was locked

from the inside. Two doors,

both locked.

Ah, yes, sir, the elevator door
and the door to the stairs.

If that's true
and Max Dyson was murdered,

how did the murderer

get out?

That is very puzzling, Mr Blake.
Very puzzling indeed.

And I was hoping you could help us
with that. Me?

(LAUGHS) How could I?

Vibrations. Maybe what the murderer
was feeling or thinking.

So far I seem to be picking up
all the wrong vibrations.

I'm sorry, I don't seem to have been
very much help. Don't you worry.

Now that we've come this far, we're
certainly gonna find the murderer.

When we do, maybe you can help us
by reading his mind.

You must consider very carefully. If
you choose to enter my employment,

there'll be consequences.
I undertake that your wages will be

handsome, your life comfortable
and your work rewarding. Understood?

Yes, I understand.

These are circumstances
as unusual as your abilities.

I can give little time
for your decision. If you accept,

a plane will arrive tomorrow night
to remove us from this environment.

In your case, it will be forever.
Elliott Blake will vanish.

You will get a new identity, a new
name, a new life. Understood? Yes.

You let me know by tomorrow night.

Good afternoon.
What a pleasant surprise.

I hope I'm not disturbing you.
No. I was just doing some reading.

London Psychic Society, they just
made you an honorary member.

How did you know that?
I was reading your curriculum vitae

that the Institute put out.
I was very impressed.

What is a curriculum vitae?
Like a resume.

You seem to be taking
quite an interest in me.

And you've gotten me very interested
in mind-reading.

D'you remember the experiment
you did with me?

The one with the set of cards?
I tried it out on Mrs Columbo.

Successfully, I hope?
I'll let you be the judge of that.

Mrs Columbo,
she was absolutely astounded.

Please pick up one of those cards.
Any one you want. Picked.

You sure you don't wanna change
your mind? Quite sure. Good.

OK. Now you just draw
on this blank sheet of paper

the card you were thinking of.

Drawn.

OK, concentrate on that card.

You're thinking of a star.
Am I right, sir? Perfectly done.

Everybody possesses a degree
of psychic ability,

it's just a question of development.
No, I'm not psychic.

That was a trick.
I read it in Mr Dyson's book.

I don't know whether I should tell
you this,

because you're not a magician, and
magicians can't reveal their secrets,

but all I did was watch the end of
the pencil. I watched how it moved.

I could tell what picture you were
drawing. You certainly fooled me.

I was convinced you'd actually read
my mind.

Ah, no, sir, no.

No, I'm not psychic.
I just wish I was psychic,

because this case,
it's still got me puzzled.

What's puzzling you now? I was
looking at your curriculum vitae.

You were born in Uganda. Yes,
my father was in business there.

I think I told you that Mr Dyson,
he spent time in Uganda too.

You didn't happen to know him?

I told you,
I didn't know him at all.

I remember your telling me that he
spent some time in a Ugandan prison.

Since I left when I was six, it's
hardly likely I should've met him.

Tsk! I could've figured that out
myself. It's right here.

Anything else puzzling you?
Oh, yes, a lot of things,

but I'm not gonna take up
any more of your time.

You've been very cooperative, sir,
and I appreciate it. Good day.

Good day, Lieutenant.

Yes, Mr Elliott Blake will be
checking out late tomorrow.

Suite 211.

The Anneman Institute
will be taking care of the bill.

Yes, Dr Paula Hall.

Thank you.

Who was that?
What? Oh, that was room service.

I thought you might like
some champagne.

Well, you're quite inventive
yourself.

Paula, what would you say
if I told you

that I was going away for a while?
Hm?

For how long?

Quite a long time.

It's Harrow, isn't it?
He's made me a proposition, hm.

I'm giving it some thought.

Will you give me some thought?
Always.

You're going with him, aren't you?

I don't know yet.

Come off it! I know everything
you think and feel.

I'm psychic that way.
Now that Harrow believes in you,

will you tell him
you're not a dancing dog?

Will you persuade him you need
to help each other, just a touch of

corruption, now that he's providing
you with hotel suites and champagne.

That's enough, Paula.

Yes,

enough.

Try to read my thoughts.
They're very vulgar, Elliott.

They'll tell you what you can do
to yourself.

I ain't tellin' no guillotine trick.
Well, the other trick then.

Map book,

eye shield,

rubber band,

a felt-tipped pen, a compass

and an instant camera.
Is that right? Right.

The psychic draws a picture of what
the drivers see. I saw the pictures.

That's some trick.
D'you know how it's done?

Maybe I can figure it out.
How? It's a trick.

Remember it's a trick
and don't forget it's a trick,

then you start to figure it out.

Buy me another burger and shake
and I'll work on it.

You can make money disappear, kid,
I'll give you that.

You understand what ends here
and what begins.

Aboard that plane Elliott Blake
will cease to exist.

I don't remember anyone named
Elliott Blake.

Good evening, Mr Blake.

And you're Mr Harrow. I remember you
from the wonderful funeral.

Lt Columbo, Homicide.
Forgive me for arriving like this,

but the pilot was good enough
to pick me up over at the runway.

I'm sure it had to do
with the court order, Mr Blake.

What do you want?
Well, let me put it this way.

I'd like to show you
a kind of magic show.

It could be a terrific magic show.
And I think you'd enjoy it too.

I'm not under the jurisdiction
of any judge.

Well, whatever you say, sir,
but Mr Blake, he certainly is.

He's a very serious judge.

Here we are, Mr Blake, Mr Harrow.

This is where we're gonna have
our show.

If you'll just take a seat
over there,

it's gonna be a kind of psychic
demonstration.

Car Bravo, ready for instructions.

Car Alpha, ready.
Car Charlie, reporting.

Back already?

Are you involved in all of this?
I'm just an observer, Elliott,

just like you.

This, er, demonstration, who's
the psychic you're showing off?

Why, that'll be me, sir.

Can you hear me, Mr Dyson?
Yeah, you're OK.

Here I am in the isolation chamber,
looking at myself in a mirror.

Our demonstration tonight
is viewing at a distance.

And I'm gonna try and imitate the
famous psychic, Mr Elliott Blake.

The young man out there,
he's a friend of mine,

he's gonna pretend to be Max Dyson.

We'll use all of Mr Dyson's rules,
just like when he tested Mr Blake.

Are you ready, Mr Dyson?
Ready, Mr Blake.

Cars Alpha, Bravo and Charlie,
you may open your packages now.

You'll find a city map book,
the eye shield,

an instant camera
and a bunch of other stuff.

"Car Bravo, coming to the target."

"Alpha, I'm here."
"This is Bravo."

"Alpha's got the picture."

"Car Charlie reporting on target."

"Car Bravo having difficulty
with the scanner."

"This is Charlie looking to
the west. Let me get this picture."

"Car Bravo scanning.
It's coming through."

Car Alpha coming in.

"Charlie scanning.
Got a pretty picture."

"I'm concentrating."

"Car Bravo concentrating
on the target."

"Car Alpha, how long do you want me
to concentrate?"

How'd I do?

(LAUGHTER)

Lieutenant, that's getting to be
a very popular stunt.

Everybody's doing it.

All cars are released at this time.
Bravo.

How d'you explain this, Elliott?
Congratulations, Lieutenant.

Well, from you, sir,
that's high praise.

There is only one explanation.

Lt Columbo is extraordinarily
gifted.

Oh, no. Oh, no, sir.

I don't begin to have Mr Blake's
gifts.

It was just a magician's trick,
taking advantage of the fact that

you can get people to believe
almost anything. Really?

Will you tell us how your trick
is done? I'd like to,

but we're not allowed to tell.
But it's a very simple trick.

It's almost obvious.
I'll sure you can figure it out.

Maybe Mr Blake can help you.

(BELL RINGS)

So nice of you to invite me,
Lieutenant, yet again.

You blew my act, so what other plans
d'you have for my life?

If you can just give this string
a hard tug, I'd appreciate that.

Now, if you'll just pull on
one of the ends.

It worked! Perfect, sir. Perfect!

It worked just perfect.
Just like in the book.

Lock Proof Magic. I tell you, this
case has been some education for me.

D'you think that's the way Mr Dyson's
murderer did it? I mean,

leaving by the freight elevator, then
locking the door from the inside?

It's not a subject I dwell on.

You think it was a magician
that locked the door like that?

And a magician who knew
the guillotine trick? A magician.

I know I asked you here,
but why did you come?

Curiosity.

I had to know.

How you worked it out,
Dyson's procedures,

drawing the pictures.
Mm-hm.

I know you're expecting cabbages,
sir.

If you'll oblige me, sir.

And the marking pen
and the rubber band.

And if you'll just put this on, sir.

Rifle through the map book
and pick any page at random,

just so we know it's random.

Now the marking pen, sir.

Just punch it down, any place,
at random.

Now I'll take the marking pen
and the eye shield, Mr Blake.

And if you'll just slip on
the rubber band and mark your page.

The page and the point you marked the
is corner of Arroya and Holly Drive

in Pasadena. And if you went there
and you looked north,

I think you could draw a picture
of a bridge with a big archway.

Is that the way you did it?
Are you looking for a confession?

For being a magician
instead of a real psychic?

I don't think that's a crime, sir,

not even when you use
the special map book.

Where all the pages

are exactly the same.

And the pen is a special pen
which won't make a mark on the page.

Because the mark is already there.
The same mark

in the same place

on every page.

Arroya and Holly Drive.

Arroya and Holly Drive.

Arroya and Holly Drive.

I don't care where you look,
it'll always be the same.

And an eye shield so you can't see
the mark is already there.

And a rubber band so you can't turn
back and see all the pages are alike.

I think you missed your calling.

As a psychic, or a magician?
Now Max Dyson, he was a magician,

and he knew, ahead of time,
where the drivers were going

and the four directions
that they could look,

and you knew that too, so you and
Mr Dyson must've known each other

so you could work the trick together.
Well done again.

When Max Dyson and I met
a few days ago,

we got together and rigged the test.

Why would he do that, sir?
I paid him.

Max wasn't the most honest person
in the world.

And to my astonishment I discovered,
some time ago,

that I wasn't either.

Now that you've perceived these
secrets of the human heart,

I shall wish you a good night.

I think you killed him, sir.

It was just a thought.

You're a very thoughtful person.
I've asked you a lot of questions

and, I'm sorry to say, you're answers
have not been strictly truthful.

Been reading my mind again? No, I've
been reading an old State Department

report about how life was going

for an American and an Englishman
in a Ugandan prison.

Would that be you and Mr Dyson?

If I told you that he sold you out
to get himself out of prison,

would you call that a strong motive
for murder?

Would you agree with that
as a motive?

You'd make a bizarre executioner,
Lieutenant.

You'd ask the condemned man
if he agreed with the rope.

Well, sir, we don't have you
condemned yet,

even if we consider this.

A cartridge.
A cartridge.

Like the one I found here
the other day.

I thought maybe the murderer left it

when he decided to kill Mr Dyson
with the guillotine

to make it look like an accident
instead of shooting him.

All that from a cartridge?
This is where I found it.

And after you came here to help me
the cartridge was gone.

That was very good
the way you palmed it.

I wish I could learn to do that.
And, finally, there's the guillotine.

D'you mind, sir?

How hideous - and beautiful.

Fantastic, in fact. And I couldn't
figure out how it worked,

and nobody would tell me. So I had
to try and figure it out myself.

D'you mind, sir?

I had to keep saying, "It's a trick,"
so I could think about it as a trick.

I finally figured out the trick's
in the collar,

where it's marked "safe"
and "danger".

Maybe another blade in there.
The "safe" blade. Am I warm, sir?

What a pity Max isn't with us.
You could've asked him.

I don't think he would've told me.

Would you mind fitting that collar
over me, but the safe way?

Are you sure you trust me?
Why not? You're a magician.

And the case I have against you,
well, it's not much of a case.

Then it's my pleasure.

You were saying, Lieutenant,
about your case.

All I have is motives, some lies,
the missing cartridge.

I need at least one more piece
of evidence.

If I know you,
you won't give it to me.

But I'll keep trying to convict you,
because you did murder Mr Dyson.

It was you who killed him. That's
something we both have to face.

Not a doubt in the world.

No doubt at all.
Just a matter of time.

No, there is no time, Lieutenant.
Time is just a magic trick.

And that, sir, is the last piece
of evidence.

It's the labels, sir.
"Safe" and "danger".

I have to admit I was very cynical,
Mr Blake.

I reversed the labels.

You seem very startled.
Is it something I've done?

It's like a hiccup, sir.

Sometimes it takes a shock
to bring you out of it.

You're under arrest
for the crime of murder.

And I'll have to apply the penalty,
sir.

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