All language subtitles for Columbo.Butterfly.in.Shades.of.Grey.1080p.MY5.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-None_track3_[eng]

MAN: 'Coming up direct from
his Los Angeles studio,

'the hard-hitting,
controversial commentator
and analyst, Fielding Chase,

'who plays no favourites,
pulls no punches,

'and tells it like it is.

'Stay tuned.
We shall return

'following a word
from your local station.'

Come on, Lois,
put me through.

Yeah, I know
the show's on the air.

OK, OK, I'm sorry.

Look, Vicky was supposed
to meet me and this guy

here a half-hour ago.

I mean, what am I
supposed to tell him?

OK, fine. Never mind.

QUIET APPLAUSE

INDISTINCT CHATTER

So?

She's not coming.
I'm sorry, Lou.

The old guy's
got her scared
to death.

Yeah, that I could tell

by the time
I got to page ten
of her novel.

Love and hate
all wrapped up
in one neat package.

So stick around
another day.

I can't, Jerry.
I promised Mary
and the kids

I'd spend some time
up at the lake.

Yeah, but you will show
Englander the book?

Soon as I get back.

You're sure it's all right
with the author, I mean?

Yeah. Why wouldn't
it be all right?

Look, Lou,
Vicky's another
Ayn Rand

trying to bust loose
from her cocoon,

and you and me are
going to help her.

Me, I understand.
I'm a literary agent.

What's your angle?

Personal.

Oh, you mean
Fielding Chase.

Well, if you're
so mad at him,

why don't you quit?

I need the money.

You always
need the money.

By the way, I was sorry
to hear about Murray.

I know you guys were
together a long time.

Yeah.

Anybody new?

Mmm...yeah.

There's Ted.
He's an actor.

Works on a daytime
soap opera.

Well...serious?

No. Murray
was pretty special.

It's going to
take some time
to work things out.

Come on,
let's order.

Good idea.

MAN ON RADIO:
'What I mean,
Fielding, is,

'you know,
man, you're
always saying

'these phonies
in Congress,

'they got to get
their act together,
right?

'I mean, like, you
know, man, the poor...

'because, wow,
when you think
about it -

'I do, we all do -

'we're talking
about there's a lot
of money there.

'I mean, like,
the deficit,

'wow, man,
the kids are going

'to have to pay
for it, right?'

NEW SPEAKER:
'I know exactly
what you mean,

'my inarticulate friend.'

But you know
as well as I do,

that unless and until
the President is empowered

with a line-item veto,

this country will continue
to haemorrhage

hundreds of millions
of dollars

on dams for rivers
that don't need damming

and roads
that lead nowhere.

Thanks for the call.

PUNCHES BUTTON

This is Charlie
from Independence, Missouri.

Hello, Charlie.

'Hi, Fielding.

'A big handshake
from the hometown
of Harry Truman,

'the last good president
we had.'

Well, that's debatable,

but since I don't
like to speak ill
of the dead,

let's move on
to a livelier topic.

'But I want to talk
about Harry Truman.'

Well, I don't.
Goodbye, Charlie.

Margaret
from Blossom, Texas,

you're on the air.

'Fielding,
you dear man,

'I'll be 80 Tuesday.'

Well, bless you,
my darling,

and a happy birthday
to you.

'Why, thank you.

'You know,
all this stuff
I keep hearing

'about this big hole
in the sky over
Antarctica,

'it's
frightening me.'

Oh, yes. The mysterious
ozone depletion.

I'll tell you what,
my darling,

I'm going to send you
a copy of my book.
You read chapter nine.

It destroys
the environmental
Chicken Littles

who would scare
decent people like you.

Thank you for your call,

and God bless you,
sweetheart.

That was Margaret
from Blossom, Texas,

and speaking
of large holes

filled with nothing
but a vacuum,

my guest next Wednesday,
the 14th,

is none other than
that distinguished
senator from back east -

you know who
I'm talking about -

the honourable
Gordon Madison,

who will demonstrate
to you good people
once and for all

why he should be banished
permanently

to those good old
cotton fields back home.

So what happened?

I told you
I couldn't come.

You said you'd get
a replacement.

Well, I couldn't.
That's all.

When I told him
I wanted
the night off,

he had a terrible fit.

Yeah, I bet he did.

Come on, Jerry,
I can see one of
your friends anytime.

Look, Vicky,
Lou Kaitin's more
than just a friend.

He's a literary
agent,

and he loves
your book.

My book?
You showed him
my book?

Jerry, I gave that
to you to read,
nobody else.

What were you
going to do
with it, anyway,

leave it on your
closet shelf for
the next 30 years?

Vicky, he loves it.

He thinks
it's brilliant.

Well, look, that's
very flattering, but...

But what?
You worried
about him?

Vicky, you are not
his property.

You've got to get on
with your life.

There's a big,
terrific world
out there.

Fielding Chase -
news next, back in five.

'And we're out.'

Oh, Mr Winters.

I was under the impression
you were back east,

tracking down a story.

Yeah, a RUMOUR, Fielding,
and it was tracked.

You got my report.
It was a dead end.

I don't agree.
When I see
wisps of smoke

curling up and around
Gordon Madison's
elegant coiffure,

can flame be far behind?

I busted my butt on
that cockamamie lead
you handed me.

It was nothing,
and you know
it was nothing.

You see how
they turn on me,
Victoria?

Two years ago
I plucked this fella
from a police beat

on a second-rate newspaper
in a third-rate city...

Taking me
from total obscurity

to complete anonymity.

Thanks, Fielding.

Mr Winters, I do not
suffer ingrates well.

Perhaps it's time to
terminate our arrangement.

Dad, please.

What, I'm fired? Good.

Thanks again. I could
use the severance pay.

To say nothing
of the unemployment cheques,
for as long as they last.

Let's go, Victoria.
We have less than
60 seconds.

Look, Vicky,
I'll call you later.

Mr Winters, you will
NOT call her later.

How about
if she decides that?

Do you have to
keep goading him
like that?

Oh, Victoria.

OK, so you're both a couple
of pigheaded egotists,

and tomorrow you'll
hire him back again as usual.

Not this time,
Victoria.

'Six seconds, Mr Chase.'
Dad...

Not now,
Victoria.
'Four...three...two...'

And we're back
for another hour
of National Focus.

Your obedient servant
Fielding Chase,

ready and able to chat
with the brightest
of you fuzzy brains,

and the inarticulate
need not bother dialling.

The valuable time
of my tens of millions
of listeners

is far too precious
to waste...

TELEPHONE RINGS

Hi, this is
National Focus.

What do you want to
speak to Fielding about?

Mm-hmm,
and what's your name?

Don't tell me
what he said, Phil.

The senator
contradicts himself
every time he says hello.

'This happens
next week?'

Next Wednesday night.

I intend to tear that
pretentious popinjay
to shreds.

'Why is he even
doing your show?'

He's doing
the programme
because he wants

to be re-elected.

He's also operating
under the delusion

he can best me
in a battle of wits.

'Fat chance.'
My sentiments
exactly.

Double-check
the quote he made
to the union

so I can read it
back to him
word for word.

'You mean
that Teamsters quote?'

Exactly.
Thank you, Phil.

Ooh,
that smells good.

It's a peace offering
on behalf of Jerry Winters.

My God! What
is your interest
in that man?

It can't be
romantic.

He's a friend,
that's all.

No, Victoria.
He's a cheap,
no-talent hustler,

who's using you
to further his own
ambition.

Dad, he's not like that.

How would you know?

You're still
just a child.

For God's sake,
I'm 25 years old.

Anyway, um...

"Anyway, um", what?

Well, you're
going to find out
sooner or later anyway.

I've written a book,
a novel.

A novel?

I'm stunned.

I know you don't approve.

I didn't say that.
I'm surprised,
that's all.

Jerry's found me an agent,
and he thinks it's good, Dad.

And he says he can
find me a publisher.

Victoria, I
couldn't be happier
or prouder of you.

I just wish you had
let ME read it

before some stranger.

Well, I guess
I was afraid

you wouldn't think
it good enough.

Well, that's nonsense.

Besides, what I think
of it isn't the point.

This agent,
is he any good?

His name
is Lou Kaitin,

and he's with
Lionel Englander
in New York.

Englander...
well, he's the best.

Lionel and I
go way back.

If you need any help,
count on me.

I have
an extra copy
upstairs.

I'll put it
on your nightstand.

Of course.

VICKY: Thank you.

TELEPHONE RINGS
Yeah.

'Yeah, yourself,
old buddy.'

Hey, Lou.
Where are you?

In my office,
where else?

What happened to
Mary and the kids
at the lake?

Sally got tonsillitis.
We found out
the lake was polluted.

Listen, Jerry,
when I got back
four days ago,

I took Victoria's novel
to Englander,
like I promised.

- And?
- He hated it.

That's a bunch
of crap.

I know.
There's something else.

When I was
in Englander's office
this morning,

he got a call
from Fielding Chase.

These two guys
are old friends.

There might be
a connection.

It can't be.
Chase doesn't even
know about it.

Are you sure
about that?

Now, if you'll allow me
to conclude

on this note of levity -

even a talk-show host knows
when to leave them begging -

I want to thank you all
for allowing me

to spend these all too brief
moments with you.

God bless you all.

Thank you.

Thank you, Fielding,

for sharing
your thoughts
with us today,

and in appreciation,

the Alfred Kentworth
Realty Group

would like
to present you
with this cheque

for $25,000.

A donation to
the Fielding Chase
Foundation

to help you continue
your good work.

Thank you.

Fielding.

Good afternoon,
Mr Winters...

Hey.
And good afternoon.

That was quite
a performance
in there, Fielding.

25,000 bucks. Jeez.

Last time I looked,

you were
about to barbecue
those guys

over an open fire.

I guess
money talks, huh?

If that's an accusation,
my friend,

be prepared
to back it up in court.

How those schmucks
waste their money
is their business.

I want to talk
about Vicky's book.

Book?

Look, I just talked
to my friend
in New York.

You had her novel
rejected.

That's a lie.

You want me
to prove it?

I'm a pretty
good investigator,
remember?

I'm warning you once,
my friend. Stay away
from things

that are none
of your business.

Vicky is my business.

I think not.
Her future
is with ME,

not off pursuing
some meaningless
pipe dream

of a literary
career.

You know what
your problem is,
Fielding?

You're a sick,
possessive old man.

You want her
tied to you forever.

She's my child.

She's not your child.
She's your foster daughter.

And you want my opinion?
Your attitude towards her
isn't exactly fatherly.

Ho ho! I guess
that must have hit

pretty close
to home, huh?

Stay away from her,
Winters.

Why? What are you
going to do, kill me?

Yes.

How, talk me to death?

Let me tell you
something, old man.

I'm not only going to
take you down professionally,

I'm going to take away
Vicky, as well.

You count on it.

A disgruntled employee...

ex-employee.

Quite honestly, Mr Chase,

the senator is doing
this broadcast

against my advice.

Afraid he can't
handle himself?

I can always debate
an empty chair.

Come to think of it,
the chair might be
more responsive.

The senator
is more than capable

of handling you
and your listeners,

providing we're playing
on a level field.

Meaning?

Meaning no dirty
tricks, no rigged
phone calls.

I don't need any help
outthinking the senator,

but I won't be tossing him
any softballs, either.

No, I don't
suppose you will.

Until Wednesday,
then.

This is
going to be fun.

Oh, by the way, I heard
from Senator Clavins.

He's looking for a guest
spot a couple of weeks
from now.

Call his people
and see if you can
work things out.

I can't.
I mean, look.

I'm not going to be here
in a couple of weeks.

What do you mean?

I mean I'm flying
to New York next Tuesday
with Jerry.

But why?
You know why.
He told me what happened -

the fight
in the hotel,

how you killed
my book with
Englander.

No, Victoria.

No, don't tell
me no, Dad.

Don't lie to me.

You told me
you liked it.

I do. It's good,

but I know
in my heart...

as you do...

it's not the best work
you're capable of.

Don't you understand
the position you're in,
child?

As my foster daughter,

you will come under
terrible scrutiny.

My enemies will be waiting
to carve you into pieces,

to hurt me by hurting you.

Dad, I'm not sure
that's true.

Well, I am, Victoria.
When your mother died
15 years ago,

I gave you more
than my name.

I took you into my home
and my heart,

and I swore that
I would do everything
in my power

to nurture you
and protect you.

Dad...

Don't you understand
that everything I've done

has been for you?

And when I'm gone,

everything I have
will be yours.

I'm sorry. You know
how grateful I am,

but this
is something
I have to do.

Come on. It's not
like I'm running
away from home.

You'll always
be a big part
of my life,

but, please,
you have to let me
do this.

PHONE RINGS OUT

PHONE RINGS
Hello.

Hello, Jerry.
Fielding Chase.

I've just talked
to Victoria.

Look, if you called
to threaten me
again...

No, nothing like that.
Oh, Jerry, I'm so sorry.

I lost my temper,

and I said some things
I shouldn't have.

Well, I can't
help you, Fielding.

She's determined
to go.

I know, and I won't
try and stop her.

I just want to work
things out as amicably
as possible.

Meaning what?
I think that
I can be helpful

to both of you.

Look, Jerry,
I'd like to meet you
tomorrow,

'say, late in the day.'

Would you do me a favour?
Would you call me
at the house at 4.00,

And we can arrange
to get together?

Jerry, I can't beat you
on this one.

I just want to
salvage something.

OK, I'll call you.

Tomorrow, 4.00.

I'll be waiting
for your call,

and thanks, Jerry.

You won't be unhappy.

I promise.

OK, so it's all set.

Yeah. Vicky and I
will be flying in
Tuesday afternoon.

I got us booked
at the Wyndham.

Chase can't be
too happy.

He's not...
neither was Ted.

You broke it off?

This morning.
He actually took it
pretty well.

I think
he saw it coming.

Lou, you're not
hearing me.

I don't want
a dime for this.

Come on. Not even
a finder's fee?

Me? Yeah, well...

I'll find something.

To tell you the truth,

this job's been
making me feel real dirty

for a real long time now.

No, nothing. I mean it.

Look, I'm doing this
for Vicky.

The kid needs a break.

Yeah, I remember,

but, hey,
what's money, anyway?

CLOCK CHIMES

Look, if things get
really rough,

I can always
write a book.

Look, old buddy,
I got to run.

The old man
wants me to call him.

I don't know.
Some last-ditch attempt

to save face.

It's not going to work,

but it'll be fun
to hear him grovel.

I'll see you Tuesday.
Bye-bye.

PHONE RINGS

BEEP

'This is Fielding Chase.

'I can't come
to the phone right now,

'but please leave
your name and number.'

BEEP

'Fielding, it's Jerry.'

You wanted me
to call, OK.

Jerry.
Oh, I'm sorry.

I was...outside
when I heard
the phone ring.

'Yeah, so what's
the deal, Fielding?

'I've been hanging
around here alone
for the last hour'

waiting to make
this call.

I know. I'm sorry.

Well, if you want to
know the truth, I...

DOG BARKS

Jerry, what happened?

I thought I heard shots!

Answer me!

Jerry, are you all right?

'911 emergency.'

I think a man
has been shot.

'Shot, sir?'
I was talking to him
on the phone,

and then I heard
the sound of shots,

and then
he didn't respond.

'Take it easy, sir.
To whom were you speaking?'

His name
is Jerry Winters,

986 Amethyst Road,
the Palisades.

I'm on my way there
right now.

'What is your name, sir?'

Fielding Chase,
24600 Cold Creek Road,
Malibu.

'We'll send a unit
immediately.'

Please hurry.

SIRENS BLARE

Officer,
I'm well aware
I'm being a pest,

but you did say
a homicide detective
is on his way.

Yes, sir. Should have
been here by now.

You know, Mr Chase,
I'm not sure you really
have to stick around.

I mean, considering
who you are and all,

I could just give
the lieutenant
your name and number.

No. It's important
that I talk to him
personally.

Davis!

Excuse me.

CAR BACKFIRES

BACKFIRE

There you are,
Lieutenant.

Hey, Davis.
What have we got?

White male
named Gerald Winters,

age 31, shot twice
in the back,
once in the head.

Doc says he was
probably dead
when he hit the floor.

Gun's over there.

I know this is
a silly question,

but I don't suppose
we got a witness.

Funny you should ask.

You're kidding.

Not an eyewitness, sir...

an EAR witness.

Lieutenant.

See the fella
in the Mercedes?

His name
is Fielding Chase.
He's got a radio show.

Maybe you heard it.

No, I don't think
I have.

He was on the phone
talking with the victim
when the guy got shot.

No kidding!
Yes, sir.

You mean on that phone
that he's got there?

No, sir. He was
at his house in Malibu.

Oh.

You know,
I'm thinking of
getting me one of them.

What's that?

One of those, er,
whatchamacallit phones
like he got, um...

Cellular.
Uh, cellular -
cellular phone. Yeah.

Why do think they cost?

Jeez, I don't know.

You know, there's talk -
oh, I don't believe it -

that you can get cancer
from using them?

You believe that?

Cancer? No.
Nah, I don't believe it.

I'm gonna check
with my cousin Dominick
cos wherever he goes,

he's got one of those
things stuck in his ear,

and I don't see
no tumour growing out
of his brain.

Ha ha ha!

Yeah. At the beach
and in his car

and with his stockbroker
all day long.

Yak yak yak yak.

He says the phone made
him a lot of money.

Have you got
a stockbroker,
Lieutenant?

Who, me? No.
I'm lucky I got
a savings account.

No, I'm thinking
of calling my wife.

Ah.
"Hello. It's me.

"Guess where
I'm calling from.

"Wrong.

"The car."

Ha ha ha!

Lieutenant, Mr Chase,
he's real anxious
to talk to you.

Just let me look
around here a minute.

Thank you. We'll call you
if we have to.

No, Arthur, I am not
using Jerry's death,

and I resent
the implication.

The man
was an investigator
in my employ,

and there might be
a connection.

Would you mind?
This is a very
important call.

Oh, I'm... I didn't
realise. Sorry.

I-I'll just
wait here, sir.

Arthur, do you want me
to spell it out for you?

"Crack investigator
killed under mysterious
circumstances.

"What were the stories
he was working on?

"Was he shot
to keep him quiet?"

Oh, I don't know.

"Fielding Chase
outraged,

"determined
to see justice done."

Good. Call me
at home later.

We'll talk
about setting up
a press conference.

Uh, Mr Chase?

I'm sorry,
I don't have
time right now.

I'm from
the police, sir.

Uh, Lieutenant Columbo,
Homicide.

I'm terribly sorry,
Lieutenant.

This has been a dreadful
experience for me.

Did the officer inside
tell you what happened?

Yes, sir. He told me
that you and the victim

were talking
on the phone
when he was shot.

Bizarre.

I heard all
these noises, shots,

and I called out
his name.

No response.

Nothing.

As soon as I realised
what had happened,

I called 911 and drove
over here immediately.

The police were here
when I arrived.

When was that, sir?

I'm not sure exactly.

About 4.30.

Jerry called...4.00.

I live in
the Malibu mountains.

About 30 minutes,
that's about right.

Oh, Officer Davis
tells me

that you have some kind
of a radio show.

Yes.

It's a, er,
listener call-in show.

Our topics are
social, political.

Jerry was
my chief investigator.

I couldn't help
overhearing
that conversation

you had with this fella
Arthur now,

and, er, I just
wanted to ask you,

do you really believe

that, er, Mr Winters
could have been killed

by someone
he was investigating?

Without question.
I have powerful enemies
out there.

Either that...

or...he was shot
in the back

by a jealous boyfriend.

A boyfriend,
sir?
Yes.

Jerry was gay,
Lieutenant,

not that
his sexual orientation

made any difference to me,

but those people
do have a reputation
for unusual behaviour.

I wouldn't know, sir.
You know, most of
my experience

has been
with crazy husbands
killing wives

and crazy wives
killing husbands.

Yes. I know
what you mean.

In the event
that Jerry's death

was related to his work,

I have files at home.
Why don't you come
back with me?

I'll turn them over to you.
They could provide you
with a lead.

Oh, well, that's
very generous, sir,

but I still have
some work to do here.

No problem,
I'll wait right here.

You sure
it's no bother?

Not at all.

What matters most is
bringing Jerry's killer
to justice.

Take whatever time
you need.

Yes, sir. Absolutely.

Oh, one more thing, sir,

er, Officer Davis
tells me

that you never actually
went inside the house.

No. I wasn't permitted.

Uh, it's
a little odd, sir,

because just a second ago

you said Mr Winters
had been shot in the back.

Yes.
I was wondering -

just wondering -

how you knew that, sir,

when you hadn't seen
the body.

I presume if Jerry
saw someone standing
in his house

with a gun
in his hand,

he might have made
some small mention
of it to me

while I was speaking
with him.

Ha ha! Yeah!
Good point.

You're absolutely
right, sir.

Yeah. Excuse me.

I'll just be
a few moments.

Whew!

Wow! This is
some house, sir.

Yes. It took me nearly
four years to build.

You don't have a drip,
do you?

Drip, sir?
An oil leak.

I'm particular
about the appearance
of my driveway.

Oh, you mean my car.
No, sir. She's fine.
Tight as a drum.

I just had her checked.

I'm relieved.

My feeling is
you got a classic,
you take care of it.

No, sir. You don't
have to worry
about that baby.

I have some material
here in the desk.

Yes. Here we are.

Here's something
we were doing
on chemical wastes.

Another-payoffs
to state legislators.

That's odd. I thought
there was more material
here at home.

Dad?
My daughter.

Victoria! In here!

I just heard
what happened to Jerry
on the news.

I know.

I know, I-I just
came back from there.

This is Lieutenant Columbo
of the Homicide Division.
My daughter Victoria.

- Ma'am.
- I was talking to him
on the phone

when it happened.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Victoria,
there's a possibility

that Jerry's death
might be connected

with a story
he was investigating.

I'm turning over his files
to the lieutenant.

We think there might
be a lead here.

Oh.

Well, I don't know
about the two of you,

but I suddenly
feel the need for
a stiff drink. Victoria?

No, thank you.
Lieutenant?

On duty, sir.

Right. Well,
if you'll excuse me.

Oh, Victoria,
see if there are
any messages, will you?

I forgot to check
the machine.

My condolences, ma'am.

I gather you were close
to the victim.

Yes, very.

'You have four messages.

'First message,
time 4.02pm.'

BEEP

'Fielding, it's Jerry.'

That's Jerry and Dad.

'OK,'

That's the victim -
Mr Winters?
'Jerry?'

That's him talking?

Yes.

'I was outside when
I heard the phone ring.'

'Yeah, so what's
the deal, Fielding?

'I've been hanging
around here alone
for the last hour,

'waiting to
make this call.'

'I know. I'm sorry.'

'Well, if you want
to know the truth,
I don't think...'

GUNSHOTS

Oh, my God!
'Jerry!'

Oh, my God.
'What happened?'

Turn it off!

Oh, Victoria,
I'm so sorry.

I completely forgot.

I picked up Jerry's call

just as the machine
started to record.

Oh, God.

Poor girl.
I'm such an idiot!

This is incredible,
sir.

We have the murder
on tape.

I was outside
when I heard
the phone ringing.

By the time I got inside,
the machine had already
started to record.

Lieutenant,
please forgive me.

I must go be
with my daughter.

Oh, I understand, sir.
I'm going to
have to take the tape.

Yes, of course.

There might
be something on here

that will give us
a lead to the killer.

I don't know just what.

Lieutenant, I want
this person, this fiend,

brought to justice,
no matter what it costs.

I'm prepared to offer
a substantial reward.

That's very generous
of you, sir.

It may not be necessary.

If there's
anything I can do,
anything at all,

I'm at your disposal
24 hours a day.

Thank you, sir.
I appreciate it.

Once again...

my deepest sympathies
on your loss.

Thank you very much.

HE EXHALES

KNOCK ON DOOR

KNOCKING

Victoria.

It's open.

Victoria...

I'm so sorry.

You should never
have had to hear that.

I didn't realise
until it was too late.

That's all right.

The person
who did this -

I promise you -

I will see it that
he's brought to justice,

however long it takes,
however much it costs.

I know you
have your heart set
on leaving Tuesday.

And if you still
want to go,

I won't try
and stop you.

It's not important.

Well, of course
it is.

It's just
that I'm...

as devastated
as you are.

I need you now
more than ever.

Dad, don't worry
about it.

I'll stay.

The rest of it can keep.

ORGAN PLAYS

Of the many ways
you think a friend
might die,

this isn't one of them.

Ted, why don't
we sit down?

Just give me
a moment, please.

Did you send a card?

Yes, yes, Gloria,
I did.

I don't know.

- Leave your card here.
- Lieutenant?

Ooh, er,
good evening, ma'am.

I didn't expect
to see you here.

Are you in the habit
of attending the memorials
for your victims?

Not as a rule,
ma'am.

Actually, this is
in the line of duty.

Is there someplace
we can talk?

Out there?

That'll be fine.

Uh, ma'am, I thought
maybe you could help me

because, well,
you and the victim
were close friends,

and, er, well,
I do have this problem.

What sort of problem,
Lieutenant?

Um, the house where
Mr Winters lived -

at the time
of the murder,

we ascertained
that all the doors

and all the windows
were locked,

no sign
of forcible entry,

which led me
to believe

that either he
let his killer in,
which is unlikely,

or the killer
had a key.

Yes?

Which would
indicate a friend...

A...close friend.

We checked
the telephone
records,

and there were
a great many calls

to a Theodoure
Malloy.

Ted.

Yes. He and Jerry
were close.

Uh-huh.

When you say "close,"
ma'am...

I mean very close.

Yes, ma'am, I've been
led to believe that.

I just want to make sure

we're talking
about the same thing.

They were lovers,
Lieutenant.

Is that what you're
trying to ask me?

Yes, ma'am. Yeah.
Something like that.

Uh, this Mr Malloy,

would he have a key
to Mr Winters' home?

Well...yes.

I suppose he would.

Yes. I'm sure he does,
Lieutenant.

As a matter of fact,
so do I.

You, ma'am? Really?

Yes. We would often work
on stories together,

sometimes at his home.

Our relationship
was professional,

and he was
a good friend.

Oh, I never thought
anything else.

This key of yours,
ma'am, do you have
it now?

Yes. It's in my purse.

You know, it's funny.
When I arrived
at the house yesterday

after hearing
about Jerry's death,

I thought I'd lost it.
It didn't seem to be
on my key ring,

but I guess I was
just distraught.

So you DO have the key?

Oh, yes.
It was on my key ring
this morning when I awoke.

I must have
overlooked it.

As I said, my state of mind
was not the best.

No, ma'am,
I don't suppose it was.

Uh, this Mr Malloy...

is he here now?

Yes, but it's not
a very good time.

Perhaps you could
speak to him tomorrow
at the studio.

Studio? Oh, you and he
are co-workers?

No, not the radio studio.
Television.

Ted is an actor
on a daytime drama.

What's that?
Is that like
a soap opera?

Exactly. Women Who Love.
Maybe you've heard of it.

Uh, no, ma'am.
No, I haven't.

Maybe my wife.

She-she's crazy
about those things.

Ma'am, do you mind
if I ask you

where you were
at the time
of the shooting?

Why? Am I
under suspicion?

No, ma'am, nothing
like that, but you
do have a key,

and I'm interested
in anybody

that's got a key.

I spent
the afternoon
at the radio station

prepping a programme that
we're doing this Wednesday
with Senator Madison.

Senator? Wow!

That's some kind
of radio show.

Oh, yes. My father is heard
every weeknight

on 468 stations
throughout the country.

And here I thought

he was some kind
of disc jockey
or something.

You know,
to tell you the truth,

I don't listen
to the radio anymore.

No. The music -
I don't understand it.

Perry Como,
Louis Armstrong,
that I can understand,

but these rock guys,
they give me an earache.

Well, thank you
very much, ma'am.

I won't trouble you
anymore.

It's no trouble,
Lieutenant.

Oh, ma'am!

Uh, just
one other thing.

Do you usually go
into the radio station
on weekends?

No. Hardly ever,

except yesterday was
a special circumstance.

Oh, so you decided
to go in

and just do
some extra work?

No. My father decided.

Oh, so it was his idea

that you work
in the radio station
that afternoon.

Yes.

Why? Is that important?

No, ma'am, no.
It's not important
at all.

Thanks again.

All right! Listen up, folks!
We are running way behind!

Let's go! Let's go!
Come on, people! Stay alive!

Bear with me! You,
with the baseball cap,

come on. Come on.
Pay attention, please.

We don't have
a lot of time here.

Let's go.
Look alive, people!

All right! My homeless people!

The rest of my homeless people!
Homeless people!

Excuse me, miss.
I'm looking for...

Over there.

Over there? No.
I'm looking...

Over there,
and please hurry.
You're late.

I'm late?

OK, let's go, folks!
You, over there on the box.
You two, sitting down.

You, out of the way.

All right, now,
Jennifer Chambers
will enter

the alley from
this direction.

She's going to be wearing
a silky evening gown.

There's going
to be a bloody bruise
on her head.

She will seem
dazed and disoriented.

I want you to notice her,
but for heaven's sake, folks,
please don't try to act.

Preston,
are we ready yet?

Yes, sir!
Ready right away!

I need another
homeless person
for this wall!

You, you'll do fine.
Stand by the wall, please.

COLUMBO:
You talking
to me, sir?

Yes. That's right.
That wall over there.

Thank you. Nice shoes.
I like the touch.

Roll tape!

I think there's
some kind
of mistake, sir.

I'm from the, er...

OK, here we go.

Good...

Good, good.

COLUMBO:
Here it is!

What was that?

What is that?

I'm from
the police, sir.

Oh, no.
Cut! Cut! Cut!

What do you
think you're doing?

Eric, believe it or not,
I'm trying to act here...

Jennifer, I will
handle this.

You're fired.
Drop off your voucher.
You ruined the shot.

Another one
of your relatives,
Preston? Lovely.

I'm from the police,
folks.

You're a policeman?
Yes, ma'am.

He's a cop!

Jennifer Chambers.
This is bizarre.

Eric,
he's from the police.
Absolutely bizarre.

Who are
you looking for?

He's looking
for Ted.

Go, go to Ted.

Over there?
Yes.

- OK, sorry.
- Go.

Go.

I'm awfully sorry. Yes.

My wife is
a great fan of yours.

Thank you.
What's Ted done?

Uh...

Let's go!
All right, folks!
Let's go.

Back to one, now!

I need another bum
for this wall!

Let's go!

Mr Malloy?
Yes.

Uh...

Lieutenant Columbo,
LAPD.

Oh, yes.

Victoria told me
that you stopped by
the funeral home

last evening,
Lieutenant.

How may I help you?

Is it all right
if we talk here?
Yes.

Cos I don't want
to bother anybody.

It's all right.
Feel free.

Good. I just
want to ask you
a few questions.

I know you're busy.

Yes.

You recognise this?

No.

Take a good look.

No.

These brown stains...

do they mean
anything to you?

Oh, yes.

This is...
dried pancake makeup.

Yes, sir.

We found
this handkerchief

snagged
on a rosebush

in back of
Mr Winters' home,

and we think
it was left there by
the killer.

Oh, I see.

Theatrical makeup,
so you assume...

No, sir. I don't
assume anything.

We also found
minute traces
of this makeup

on the gun that killed
Mr Winters.

Also on
the rear doorknob.

Lieutenant...
I didn't kill him.

It is
my understanding, sir,

that, er...
you and the victim
had a falling out.

No...

we started
seeing each other
around nine days ago,

but we knew
that was temporary
at best,

and when he called
to tell me

that he was going
to New York,

I was upset.

Did Mr Winters
have other friends
that were actors?

Friends, no.

Um, acquaintances...

perhaps.

Just for
the record, sir,

where were you
Saturday at 4.00?

Well...

normally I would be
home alone, working.

I'm in the middle
of remodeling my home.

But this past Saturday,

I was downtown
at a department store.

Do you have anybody
that can vouch
for that, sir?

Oh, yes.
I would, um, say

about a couple
of hundred people,
at least.

See, at the last moment,
I was joined by two
other cast members,

and the three of us
were there

from 3.00 until 5.00
signing autographs.

Does that cover it,
Lieutenant?

Yes, sir.

That covers it
just fine.

That's it.
That's a rap.

Homeless, go home.
Turn in your vouchers.

Well, of course I told him
I wasn't interested.

I mean, I have been
taking off my clothes
in six straight pictures,

and we had decided
it was time

to exhibit myself
as an actress,
not some piece of meat.

So anyway,
rather than lose me,

they just rewrote
the scene.

It's
a sensational film,
Fielding.

Oh, I'm sure it is,
and I'm sure it'll give

a boost to your career,
Miss Ross,

which brings me to
the topic of our lunch.

I've asked you
to join me

to confirm the fact
that several years ago

you had an affair
with Senator Gordon Madison.

What?

No way.
Never happened.

Certainly not.

I'm disappointed
at your lack of candour,

my dear.

I have in my possession
a birth certificate

which proves that seven
years ago, back east,

you secretly gave birth
to a child out of wedlock...

Now, wait a minute.
After which,

you immediately
put the child,

a daughter,
up for adoption.

What's
going on here?

Mr Chase,
it's not what you...

My question -
is the child
Senator Madison's?

No.

Oh, really?

I have two eyewitnesses

who will swear
that Senator Madison

visited you not once
but several times

during your confinement
at St. Anne's home.

Yes...

that's true.

I'm sorry, Howard.
I should have told you,

but it was
seven years ago,
for God's sake.

You were 17 at the time,
legally a minor.

Look, the baby
was not the senator's.

My mother
worked for him

as a housekeeper.

When he found out
what happened,
he offered to help

because that's just
the kind of guy he is.

He paid a few bills
and helped find a home
for the baby.

I see.
It's the truth!

The baby's father was
a boy I knew in school.

Neither of us
was ready for marriage.

Look,
I know this is news,

but does it
have to come out?

I mean,
I made a mistake,

but don't screw up
the rest of my life.

That's hardly
my intention, my dear.

The purpose of our lunch
was to get the facts.

Now that I have them,
you have nothing to fear.

That's very decent
of you, Fielding.

Not at all, Howard.

Now, may I suggest you get
Miss Ross out of here

before she attracts
any more attention

to herself
than she already has?

You bet.
Come on, kid.

Let's go get
you cleaned up,

and, Deedee,
say thank you
to the man.

Thanks.

Waiter...

more coffee.

Yes, sir.

Collier... I've just
confirmed the story.

It's as I suspected.

You call in at 8.45
on the back line.

Victoria will patch you
through immediately.

And if we need to chat
any further, I'll call you.

Excuse me, sir,

but may I help you?

I don't think so,
but thanks anyway.

How are you,
Mr Chase?

Well, thank you,
Lieutenant.

Please join me.
Fritz.

Oh...

thank you very much.

Say hello
to Lieutenant Columbo

of the Los Angeles
police department, Fritz.

Delighted to meet you,
Lieutenant.

Nice meeting you,
sir.

Would you care
to join me
in some coffee?

No, thank you.

- Dessert, perhaps?
- No, I'm fine.

Well, actually,
could I have

a cup of tea
with honey?

Would that be
too much trouble?

Not at all,
Lieutenant.
Thank you.

Got a little tickle
in my throat.

Got a cold coming on.

You know how it is
this time of the year.

My wife's been playing
nursemaid to me.

She's been filling me
with tea and honey
for a week.

Do you feel
any better?

No, sir, but I
don't feel worse.

My wife, she likes
to play nursemaid.

It makes her happy,

and when she's happy,
I'm happy.

Well, Lieutenant,
what can I do for you?

Uh...

how do you like
that thing, sir?

What?
The phone?

I'm thinking
of buying one.
Indispensable.

Really?
Have you heard,
you know,

there's people
that are saying

you can get cancer
from those things,

the radiation
in your ear?

Ridiculous.

It is, huh?
It's just that, er,

my wife saw this guy
on television.

He said
he grew a tumour.

One's liable to hear
almost anything

on television
these days, Lieutenant,

none of it
necessarily true.

So you don't
worry about it?

There's nothing
to worry about?

Can we get
down to business?

Oh, absolutely, sir,
but first,

I got to apologise.

You know, when I first
met you that day,

I had no idea.

I mean, I found this
in the barbershop,

and when I saw
your picture,

you could
have knocked me over
with a ping-pong ball.

How many people
listen to you
every night?

Ten million,
12 million?
That's fantastic!

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

And you know,
when I told my wife
that I met you,

she says, "You know
who listens to this guy
every night?

"Your cousin Dominick."
She says, Dominick, he
never misses your show,

not for a Dodger game,
not even for the Lakers.

Very flattered.

Sir, I wonder,
would you be so kind

as to sign this
to Dominick?

Just to Dominick,
nothing fancy.

That's it.

And then
put your name.

He'll get a kick
out of this.

Dominick, he don't
have much of a life.

And, now...

can we get
to the point,

if there is one?

Yes, sir.

It's about the tape on
your answering machine.

We listened to that
over and over.

There's nothing there.
There's no kind of clue.

Too bad.
Yeah.

You can hear the killer
approach the body,

hesitate,

probably to check
if it was dead,

and you can
just make out

him leaving
through the back door,

so we figure that's how
he came in and out,

through the back.

It makes sense.

A shrewd killer
would hardly

park his car out front

and prance through
the front door,

where anyone
could see him.

Right.

Oh, and by the way,

we found
the handkerchief.

What handkerchief?

Your tea, sir.

Oh, thank you
very much.

Mmm!

Smells terrific.

Yeah, there was
this handkerchief
out back.

It was stuck
on a rosebush,

stained with
theatrical make-up.

And we found traces
of this same make-up

on the gun handle
and the rear doorknob.

Yes...

I heard that Jerry
was involved

with an actor.

Oh, is that what
you think, sir,

that he was killed
by an actor?

Its a natural conclusion.
A lovers' spat.

These things happen.

Well, this
particular actor,

er...

er, what's his name?

Um...

Twist it.

Oh, there you go.

Hey...

Hey, this is
something.

Never saw that
before.

Boy, live and learn.

Yeah...

er, this
particular actor,

yes, Mr Malloy,

er, we, er...

we cleared him, sir.

Did you?

He got
a rock-solid alibi.

Lucky fellow.

Unless, of course,
he hired somebody
to do it,

which, I mean
that's something

a really clever
killer might do,

establish
an unassailable alibi
for himself,

while somebody else
does the dirty work.

Oh, this is hot.

And that's just
the way I like it.

Anything I can't stand,
it's lukewarm tea.

Anyway, sir, um...

can you think
of somebody else

who might have
had a motive

to kill Mr Winters?

Besides yourself,
of course.

What are you
talking about?

The hotel
the other day.

You threatened
the victim, sir,

in front of
a dozen witnesses.

Oh, I see. Yes...

I lose my temper
and say something silly,

and a gaggle of tourists
take me at face value.

Really, Lieutenant,
you can't be serious.

I have a short temper.

I must've fired
and hired Jerry Winters

a dozen times
in the past few years.

Well, if you say
so, sir, but I got
to tell you,

it's a lucky thing
for you

you were on the phone
with the guy

when he got killed.

Another homicide
detective could've taken
that threat to heart.

Well, I hate to
cut this short,

but I'm due back
at the radio station.

Please...

you finish your tea,

and if there's
anything else,
don't hesitate.

I won't,
and thank you.

The tea is terrific.

I'm feeling better
already.

COLUMBO: Oh, er, Mr Chase!

Excuse me!

Sir!

Just...

one more thing, sir.

And what would
that be?

Uh, it's
about the files,
Mr Winters' files.

Yes?

I was talking
to your daughter, sir,
and she told me that

most of his files
were back at the office
and not at your house.

So?
Uh, just curious, sir,

if that's true,

why you took me
back to your house

and not
the radio station.

Lieutenant,
it's true that most
of the complete files

are back at
the radio station,

but I knew
that my daughter

was working there
at that time...

and forgive me if
this sounds cowardly,

but I didn't want
to be the one

to have to tell her
what had happened.

If there's nothing more,
you'll excuse me.

Certainly, sir.

Sorry to bother you.
Thank you.

And thanks again
for the tea!

Excuse me,
Ms Chase.
Yes?

I'm Lou Kaitin.

Oh, yes.

Since I haven't
been able

to get through
to you on the phone,

I flew out here
this morning.

Your receptionist
told me where
I could find you.

Look, Mr Kaitin...

I'm sorry about Jerry.

He was
a wonderful friend
to both of us.

Yes, he was.

I'm sure he told you
how I admire your novel.

Yes, and I'm
very flattered.
Thank you.

Yeah, well,
what's more,

I'd like
to represent you.

But I was told
my book was rejected.

It was, by the man
I used to work for.

I quit this morning.

Well, I'm sorry,
Mr Kaitin.

You've taken
a long trip for nothing.

Right now I can't
think of anything

except helping my father
through some difficult times.

Besides, he's promised
to find me a publisher.

You can't be
serious.

Fielding Chase
was the man

who had
your book sabotaged
at my agency.

Didn't Jerry
tell you this?

That is
a monstrous accusation,
Mr Kaitin.

Please,
just leave me alone.

Ms Chase,
I'm sorry.

Look, Ms Chase!

Yes, Warren.

I'll be sending you
the manuscript
of my daughter's novel

early next week.

No, no, my friend.

You're under
no obligation
to like it,

even though
it is quite good.

In fact, if you could
find it in your heart
to DESPISE it,

I would be
very grateful.

Well, Warren,
I have plans
for my daughter,

which do not
include her

traipsing off
to God knows where

like some latter-day
Gertrude Stein.

And as New York's
pre-eminent publisher,

your rejection,

kindly
but firmly couched,
might dissuade her

from pursuing
this fantasy.

And for your help,

I would be...
eternally grateful.

Well, thank you,
Warren.

A pleasure
chatting with you,
as always.

Expect the manuscript
sometime next week.

Dad, what is this?

This week's issue
of the news report,
I expect.

You know what
I'm talking about.

The item at the bottom
of the first page -

Ambassador Hendricks
and the drug cartel.

You know it isn't true.

Do I?

Research checked
this out with three
different sources.

These allegations
are completely
unsubstantiated.

Unsubstantiated,
maybe, but true or false,
the story has merit.

You can't do this!

Victoria, we're in a war
with these people.

The only way
to beat them

is to attack and expose,
attack and expose.

I'll leave
the pussyfooting
to the politicians.

My name
is on the masthead

as associate editor.

I can't be a party
to this. Sorry.

Victoria! Victoria, wait!
Victoria!

Victoria! I'm sorry.

You're
absolutely right.

Does that mean
the item's out?

Until I can have it
reinvestigated.

Satisfactory?
I suppose so.

Can we have a smile?
Bigger smile?

Come on.

Find something
to replace the item.

We go to press
at midnight.

I'll see
what we have.

HE WHISTLES "This Old Man"

TELEPHONE RINGS

COLUMBO HUMS "This Old Man"

Oh, hello,
Mr Chase.
Lieutenant.

I was going over
Mr Winters'
case files.

Your daughter said
it was OK.

And have you
come up with
anything?

Not much, sir, no.

Well...

that's not
exactly true.

There is one thing
that bothers me.

You burning
ragweed in here,

or did somebody die?

Oh, excuse me, sir.

That'd be my cigar.

Let me
get rid of that.

Yeah, it's
a filthy habit.

I should've given it up
a long time ago.

Yeah, er,
you know,

even my wife
has been yelling at me.

The other night,
she put me out
on the porch.

No gun?

Beg your pardon, sir?

No gun. You're
a character. I'll
have to remember that.

Oh, thank you, sir.

You mentioned
there was one thing?

Uh, right, sir,

and it was nothing
that I found.

It was something
that I didn't find.

What are you doing?

Well, I'm trying
to get the smell
out, sir.

The windows don't open.
Forget the smell.

What was the one thing
you didn't find?

Well, sir, did you know
that in all these file
folders,

all 33,

there's only one
that has anything to do
with an actor?

Actually, an actress
by the name of...

Deidre Ross. I'm familiar
with Jerry's workload.

What's your point?

My point, sir,
is because of
the handkerchief -

you remember
the handkerchief?

Yes, I remember.

It had the theatrical
make-up on it?

Yes, I remember.

And there were
traces of this make-up
on the gun...

And the door handle.
Yes, I remember.

Exactly.

So my point is...

is that...

oh, my goodness.
Smoke, sir.

Smoke.

I'll just put
a little coffee on it.

Where was I now?
Oh, yes.

My point...

my point, sir,
is that...

the presence
of the handkerchief

rules out
everybody in the files,

all 33 people.

What a sweeping
statement.

Well, sir,
I thought...

like everyone else...

that the handkerchief
was used to wipe off
the prints.

Uh, none of those people
in the files, sir,

none of them use
theatrical make-up.

So, there's no reason
for it to be there.

Why was it there?

There's no explanations
for it being there,

unless someone
planted it deliberately

to point us
at the actor.

I never thought of that.

Well, why would you?

I mean,
you wouldn't.

But why would that rule out
all the people in the file,

all 33 of them?

I just don't know, sir,
how people like this -

politicians
in Washington,
Wall Street brokers -

how would these people
know that nine days ago,

Jerry and Ted started
a gay relationship?

I mean, those fellas,
they were very discreet.

I see.

You're right,
of course.

The killer would
have to be someone

who knew Jerry
personally.

There you go, sir.
That's the ticket.

Well, I wish
I could help you.

But, quite frankly,
I knew very little
about Jerry

outside of the office.

Our relationship
was strictly business.

Well, you were
at his house.

You're mistaken.

I don't think so, sir.

No, I don't think so.
Ah, here it is.

"April 2nd,
birthday party
for the deceased,

"Sunday afternoon."

Photo - you
and your daughter
around the cake.

Oh, I've been
to his house.

I thought
you meant recently.

Oh, did I give
that impression, sir?
I'm sorry.

But you were
at his house for
that birthday party.

Oh, yes. A dull,
inferior affair it was.

If there's
nothing more...

Not a thing, sir.
You go right ahead.

I'll just gather up
these files

and return them
to your daughter.

Oh, er, Mr Chase?

Uh, there is, er, sir,

just one more thing.

With you,
there's always just
one more thing.

Do you have
a problem with
short-term memory?

Perhaps you should
consult a physician.

Uh, maybe we could
discuss this privately
in your office.

I don't have
the time.

Sir, I'm having trouble
with the phone call.

Five minutes,
but only five.

Here's the thing, sir.

We check phone records
as a matter of routine.

For example,
Mr Winters,

he called
the radio station
a lot, obviously,

also Mr Malloy,

also Mr Lou Kaitin,
literary agent.

Oh, and by the way,
I spoke to him
briefly.

He says that
he's interested
in representing

a book written
by your daughter.

Would you get
to the point?
Sorry, sir.

Well, er, we not
only checked out

Mr Winters'
phone, sir,

we checked out
yours.

Mine?

Your house
in the mountains
out in Malibu.

And here's
my problem, sir.

You said
that you spoke
with Mr Winters

and that you
heard shots,

and then when he
didn't answer you,
you called 911.

Then you got
in your car,

and you drove to
Mr Winters' house.

Well, sir,
that's not true.

The phone company
has no record

of your having
made a 911 call
from your house.

Is that it.
Is that your problem?

Good lord, Lieutenant,

you waste more time
worrying about minutiae.

Sir, I don't think
it's minutiae.

I never said that I made
the call from the house.

Are you sure
about that?

Absolutely!
I was so distraught
with what I heard

that I rushed
down to the car
to drive to Jerry's.

It was only when
I was actually
on the road

that I had
the presence of mind
to notify the police.

I called 911
from the car phone.

From the car!

Well,
there you go, sir.

That explains it.

If that is
finally it...

And that explains
the other thing.

What other thing?

The time, sir.
I've really been
troubled by the time.

What are you
talking about?

Well, sir, you have
one of those

computer-voice
time codes on your
answering machine.

And when I played
back the tape,

I was able
to place the time
of the shots

at exactly 4.02.

Yes, Jerry called
precisely at 4.00.

And 911 has a record
of receiving your call
at 4.06.

And I'm thinking
all day,

what did you do during
those four minutes?

I mean, four minutes
is a long time.

But, yes, now I see
what happened.

You heard the shots,

then you ran
from the house,

you got in your car,

you started the car
down the road...

And then when I had
the chance to think
more clearly,

I called police emergency.

You don't know how
glad I am to have this
explained to me.

I was beginning
to think I was going
out of my mind.

Well, sir,
I don't want to take
any more of your time.

I know you're busy,
but I do want
to thank you.

Thank you very much.

CAR BACKFIRES

BUZZ

Martha!

Martha!

Good morning,
Mr Chase.

Good morning.

Is my daughter
up yet? I'd like
to talk to her.

Oh, she left,
sir, just as
I was arriving.

She said she
had some work

to catch up on
at the office.

So early?
Would you like
some breakfast, sir?

No. Later.

What's that, sir,
is that smoke?

CAR BACKFIRES

Mr Chase!

Mr Chase!

Well, well, well,
the ubiquitous
Lieutenant Columbo,

and it's only 8.47.

Martha, a funny little man
from the police department

is going to make
an appearance.

I'll be
in the exercise room.

I'm at the gate!

Didn't open!

Thank you very much!

Sorry for the trouble.

BACKFIRE

Good morning, ma'am.
Lieutenant Columbo.

I'm here to see
Mr Chase.

Come in.
He's expecting you.

May I take
your coat, sir?

That's all right.
I don't think I'm
going to stay long.

Uh, your name is,
uh...
Martha, sir.

Ah, Martha.

I was here on Saturday.
I didn't see you,
Martha.

I work
only weekdays, sir.

Mr Chase and his daughter
prefer their privacy
on weekends.

This way, sir.

'Stay tuned
for the news at noon

'on WLBD Channel 6,

'following this public
service announcement.'

BIRD CRIES

CHILD:
'He protects
all living things

'in the forest.

'But he can't
do it alone.'

Good morning, sir!

Good morning,
Lieutenant.

I hope I'm not
intruding.

As a matter
of fact, you are.

It's the time of day
I work on my muscle tone,

as well as catch up
on the news of the day.

I have a very important
broadcast this evening.

Right, sir.
The senator.

I'll try and make
this brief.

Uh, just let me
get rid of this.

Don't bother with
the cigar, Lieutenant.
It's quite all right.

It'll just take
a second, sir.

'News at Noon.'

Am I going crazy?

Did he say noon?

It's just 9.00.

That's
the east coast feed.

Sir?

The satellite dish
is picking up
an east coast station.

Satellite?

Yes, Lieutenant.

Cable TV
hasn't yet reached
into this wilderness.

Because of the mountains,
we can't get
a decent picture

from normal
television signal.

Consequently,
most of us out here

have a satellite dish.

Satellite?
You know, I've heard
about those.

A fella told me -
true?

You can get
maybe 100 channels
on this.

Try 200.

You said something
about brevity.

Oh, yes, sir.

Would it be
possible, sir,

to turn down
the TV?

This is kind of
important.

'A way to spend the day

'was to attend the 38th
annual air show...'

In the interest
of getting things
going...

TURNS TV OFF

I'm having a problem,
sir, er,

with the key.

The key.

What key?

It is my belief
that whoever killed
Mr Winters

let himself in
unobserved

with a key through
the back door,

but when we started
checking around,

there weren't
that many people
with the keys.

Perhaps
there was no key.

Perhaps the killer
was in the house having
been let in earlier by Jerry.

Uh, no, sir.
On the tape,

the victim
very clearly states
that he was alone.

All right,
there was a key.

What's that got
to do with me?

You, sir? Nothing,

but it may have
a lot to do

with your daughter.

What about her?

We've been able
to identify only
four people, sir,

that had keys
to Mr Winters'
apartment,

and all four have
unshakable alibis,

all except
your daughter.

That's...

my daughter was working
that afternoon

at the radio station.

Uh, not exactly,
sir.

She was working
in your offices
in the building,

and working alone.

Very frankly,
I can't find anybody

who can verify
her whereabouts

at the time
of the shots.

This is ridiculous.

She could have
easily come and gone
undetected.

I mean, I can see
the scenario, sir.

She makes up
some kind
of an excuse

about having
to work...

Lieutenant,
you're a fool.

Not only is your notion
preposterous,

but it was my idea

that my daughter
spend the afternoon
at the office.

Your idea?
My idea, and I can
assure you,

my daughter
did not kill anyone.

Uh, just, er,
one more thing, sir.

Just a little
confused.

Small thing.

Uh, you keep, er,
calling her
your daughter,

but actually, sir,
I understand

that that is not,
er, exactly true.

But she is my daughter,
Lieutenant.

Perhaps not
biologically,

but in
every other sense.

I took her
into my home
when she was 10,

and I raised her
as my own.

That was
a very generous
thing to do, sir.

Generous? Selfish.

I wanted her.

Many years ago,
when I was a very young man,

I was very much in love
with Victoria's mother.

Stupidly, I let her
walk out of my life,

and she married
another man,

and I kept track of her
through the years,

and when
her husband died,

I went to see her.

I don't know
what I expected.

Perhaps to rekindle
a flame that had never died.

But I was too late.

She told me she had
cancer, inoperable,

only months to live.

I promised her that
I would raise Victoria
as my own,

and I kept that vow,
Lieutenant.

I love that child

as if she were
my own flesh and blood.

Well, I understand
your depth of
feeling, sir.

I'm going back
to that station

and try my best
to find somebody

who can clear
her name.

You haven't heard me,
Lieutenant.

Her name
doesn't need clearing.

She's innocent.

If you insist on
pursuing this lunacy,

you'll indeed be
a very unhappy policeman.

Sir, I'm just trying
to do my job.

Then do it
away from me
and my daughter.

Sir, I can be wrong.
I realise that.

The light is dawning.
How encouraging.

Uh, yes, sir.

Now I recall.

She said to me
at one point,

that she
temporarily
lost her key.

Well, there you are.
You see?

Unfortunately, sir,

that was
the afternoon
of the murder,

and that
was a Saturday

when she drove up
to the house,

and she thought
the key was gone
from her key ring,

but it turned up
the next morning,

which, of course,
doesn't make
any sense,

because
the only people
in the house

at that time
were her and you.

Is that some sort
of accusation?

No. I-I think
she probably
overlooked the key

in the first place,

and it
must've been there
the whole time.

Wouldn't you think?

Goodbye, Lieutenant.

Can you find
your own way out? Good.

You'll forgive me
if I don't wish you
a very pleasant day.

FIELDING: This is Beth
from Carson City,
Nevada.

'I have a question
for Senator Madison.'

Go ahead.
You're on the air.

'OK, I was wondering
how do you think you're going
to get re-elected, Senator.

'I mean, considering
your votes on the ERA,

'it's like you
don't even know
or don't care.'

Of course I care,
Beth,

but I don't support
any measure

which legislates benefits
to one particular group,

whether they be
male, female,

black, Hispanic,
or whatever,

at the expense
of any other group.

Thank you,
Senator Madison.

Thank you, Beth,
for your call.

Local news
next. This is
Fielding Chase

here with Senator
Gordon Madison.

Back in five.

Yes.
Thank you.

Ahem.

Ahem.

What do you think?

You've been pulling
your punches.

Calm before the storm.

In a few minutes,
a call will come in
on the back line.

A man named Collier.

Patch him through
and put him at the top
of the list.

Wait a minute, Dad. These are
supposed to be random calls.

This isn't fair.
Victoria, stop acting
like a child.

These things are done
all the time.

Right about now,
this programme
needs a jolt,

and Collier is going
to supply it.

Dad!

Don't argue,
Victoria.
Just do it.

I want you to take
each one of these tapes...

Excuse me, sir.
I'm glad...

Go away, Columbo.

Sir, if I
could have just
one minute.

I don't have
a minute.

I just want
to apologise, sir.

I had a bad afternoon,
a very bad afternoon.

After you called
the mayor,

the mayor called
the commissioner,

the commissioner
called my captain,

and I was on the carpet
for an hour.

I told you
this morning,

and I'm telling
you now. Stay
out of my life.

I just want you to know
how badly I feel.

I mean, if I had known
that I was bothering you...

You were,
and you are.

Now please leave
before I call
security

and have you
removed.

My father's been under
a great deal of strain

the past few days,
Lieutenant.

He hasn't been himself,

but I think
you should leave.

We're back
in 20 seconds.

The senator -
how's he doing?

He's holding his own.

The night's
young yet.

And five...four...
three...two...

And we're back
for another hour

with Senator
Gordon Madison,

who, by his own
admission,

faces stiff opposition
in his re-election bid
this year.

Senator, thank you
for joining us

on National Focus
this evening.

My pleasure, Fielding.
I am delighted to have
the opportunity

to reach out
to your many listeners,

many of whom share
my philosophy,
I am sure.

Many of them
who don't.

TELEPHONE RINGS

You may make
some converts...

Yes?

Yes. I was told
you'd be calling.

Please hold.

Well, I'd say
they get precious little
of that around here.

Amen to that,
my friend.

Now back
to the phones.

This is Collier
from Roanoke,
Virginia.

'Mr Chase?'
This is he.

You're on the air
with Senator
Gordon Madison.

'Look,
I'm not a real big fan
of yours, Mr Chase.'

Thank you(!)
What else do you
have to say

besides displaying
your ignorance?

'But that guy
you got with you,

'that senator,
he's a real piece of work.'

'Hey, Senator...'
Yes, I'm here.

'When are you going to
tell the world about
that little adventure

'you had a few years back
with what's-her-name-
that movie star,

'er, Deidre Ross.'

What?

'Come on, man.
Everybody knows
she had your kid

'then put it up
for adoption.

'When was that, about like
seven years ago or so?

'Not really sure?'

Sir, this is
a very serious
allegation.

'St Anne's Home
For Unwed Mothers,

'just across
the state line.

'Don't tell me
you don't know about it.

'Hell, man,
I got witnesses.'

Look, this is
absolutely untrue.

I can explain
about this.

Explain? What
are you saying,
Senator?

You know this woman,
this actress?

Well, yes, I knew her,
but I...

FIELDING:
Sir, this is a
grave accusation.

You say you have
proof? What
kind of proof?

'Medical records,
adoption papers,

'eyewitnesses.'

Look, this is
total nonsense.

I knew Miss Ross,
of course.

Her mother
worked for me.

'She was only
17, man. 17!

'If you ask me,
a guy like you ought
to be strung up.

'Mr Chase, I don't
even understand

'why you have
a lowlife like this
on your programme.'

Victoria.

KNOCKS ON DOOR

Go away.
I have to talk
to you.

I said go away.

Please open
the door.

Leave me alone.
Victoria!

Leave me alone!

Please, just
leave me alone!

BUZZ

Ohh.

Victoria.

Victoria, where
are you going?

Who is that
out there?

His name is Louis Kaitin.
He's a literary agent,

and I'm flying
with him to New York.

About last night,
I'm sorry.

So am I.

Look, I don't want
to fight with you.

One of us might
say something
we might regret.

So why don't we just
say that I'm going off
on my own

and I'm going
to try and make it
as a writer.

I want to help you.
I told you that.

You've said
a lot of things, and I
believed too many of them.

Victoria,
you're not leaving.
I won't permit it.

You won't PERMIT it?

Poor choice of words.
I'm sorry.

You know, I finally
realised that Jerry
was right,

but I was too frightened
or loyal to listen

or too stupid
to listen to him.

If I don't leave now,
I'm never going to get away.

Victoria, wait.
Don't leave me.

I need you.

Oh, no, Dad,
you don't me.

You don't need
anybody except
yourself.

Never mind
how you've hurt me.

What you did to Senator Madison
last night was unforgivable.

You smeared
an innocent man

with
a despicable lie!

You don't understand.
Oh, yes, I do.
All too well.

I'll call you
from New York.

This is your
fault. You poisoned
her against me.

No, Dad.

I'll destroy you,
Kaitin. I swear
to God I will.

Yeah, you'll try,
Mr Chase, but I'll
take my chances.

Victoria.

PAPERS SHUFFLE

What are you doing
in here?

Oh, good morning,
sir.

How did you
get in here?

Uh, through
the patio, sir.

Uh, Mr Kaitin
drove me up this morning.

My own car's
laid up in the shop.

You know, I can see
the resemblance.

Beautiful woman,
that lady, and warm, too.

You can see it
in the eyes.

You were told to stay
away from me,
Columbo.

That I was, sir,
but unfortunately,
in a murder investigation,

you have to go
where the trail
leads you to.

The trail
leads here?

Yes, sir.
I'm afraid it does.

Perhaps if you were
to speak directly

to your Chief
of Police...

I'll talk to him,
sir,

but that's not
going to change
the fact

that you killed
Mr Winters

to prevent him
from running off
with your daughter.

Victoria running off
with Jerry Winters?
I hardly think so.

Fielding Chase.

I don't mean
in a romantic
sense, sir.

He was helping her
escape from you.

We have a witness.

What witness?

A man who says
you offered him
$10,000

to kill
Jerry Winters.

Arrant nonsense.
I don't think so,
sir.

This guy, he sounds
very credible.

Lieutenant,
do you have any idea

how many enemies
I have out there,

people who would
do anything,

say anything
to bring me down?

Where is this person?

He's down
at headquarters.

Well, suppose we
just see about this.

I'll confront
your witness,

and when I do,
I'll destroy him,

and after that,
I'll start on you

and them maybe the rest
of the Los Angeles
police department.

Let's go.
You don't mind
driving, sir?

Looking forward to it.

You know, Lieutenant,
for the first time,

I'm beginning
to appreciate

what some
of my listeners
call police harassment.

It's an ugly experience.

Sir, it was never
my intention...

Oh, save it, Lieutenant.

That routine of yours
is becoming tiresome.

Looks like some kind
of an accident, sir.

Slow down, man.
Hey!

Stop!
We got somebody down.

Help us.

What happened here?
Somebody get hurt?

A coyote ran
across the road,
and Wally fell.

It's my leg.

I think it's all right.
I'm not sure.

Well, let me take
a look at it.

Doesn't look like
there's a break.

What do you think?

I don't know.

Have you tried
putting any pressure
on it?

Not yet.

Maybe you ought
to try, er,
standing and see.

Oh, I'm all right.

Feel all right?

Yeah, it's fine.

Thanks a lot.
I appreciate it.

You're welcome.

All right, it's fine.
Thanks a lot.

No problem.

ENGINE STALLS

Is there
a problem, sir?

Obviously.

ENGINE GRINDS

Maybe it's
the battery.

Lights work.

Why don't you pop
the hood and let me
take a look?

You a mechanic,
Columbo?

Uh, no, sir,
but whenever
I have a problem,

I start pushing
those wires around,

and sometimes, it
works like a charm.

You push wires around
in YOUR car. Mine, you
will leave alone.

Yes, sir.

So, er, well, what
do you want to do?

You want
to call AAA?

Wonderful idea.

HE DIALS PHONE

BEEP

HE REDIALS

BEEP

HE REDIALS

What's the problem?

Can't seem
to get through.

You want
to try mine?

You have a phone?

Yeah, but I
didn't buy it.

You know,
they're $800.

I mean, I told
the guy. I said,

"Look, that's
a lot of money.

"And I want to
try it out first."

So he gave me this
as a loaner.

Is yours
a Phonetek, sir?

Yes, it is.

That's what
I got. I figure,
get the best,

but I'll tell you
the truth.

What's the number
for the Triple-A,
sir?

555-4111.

I'll tell you
the truth,

I tried this
yesterday afternoon,

and so far, I
haven't been able
to get it to work.

Apparently you've
let your batteries
run down.

No, cos
I put fresh babies
in here myself.

See, look at this.
I can't get through.

You know what
it might be?

It might be
the mountains.

You know, like with
your TV reception.

The reason you got
that thing -
that whatchamacallit-

the dish,
the satellite.

The mountains.

Maybe here you can't
get a clear signal.
Perhaps not.

Which is odd because
of what you said...

just a second, sir.

Didn't you say -
yes, you did.

You said when you
left your house,

after you heard
the shots,

you called 911
from your car,

but how could you
call from here?

You can't get
a signal through.

That's because
I didn't call
from this spot.

It was further
up the road.

I don't see
how, sir, given
the time frame.

It had to be
somewhere
around here.

Just to be sure,
I came out
yesterday afternoon

with, like I said,
this,

and I tried here,

and I tried a mile
down that way

and another mile
up that way.

It doesn't make
any difference.

No matter where
you call from

on this whole road,

you can't
get through.

You're wrong,
Lieutenant.

No, sir,
I'm not wrong.

You were nowheres
near this place

on the day
of the killing.

I suppose we could
debate that,

but frankly,
I think it would be
a lot more productive

if we got some tools

and tried to get
the engine started.

I think you were parked
near Mr Winters' home,

and after you
killed him, you called
from HIS neighbourhood,

where you could
get through.

You have the tape recording
of my telephone conversation

with Jerry Winters
when he was shot.

And I think
we both know how
you did that, sir.

The only way it
could've been done.

You on
the extension phone
in his den

and your
answering machine
recording

as if you were
actually at home.

The coroner said

the shots came
from the direction
of the den,

and the forensic guy
says there were
no fingerprints

on the telephone
receiver
in the den,

which says to me,
it had to be wiped
off by somebody.

Well, suppose
you're right.

Aren't you
behaving stupidly,

confronting me
with this alone

on a deserted
stretch of road?

I know you're
not armed.

Uh, yes, sir,
I may be unarmed,

but, er...

HE HONKS HORN

SIREN BLARES

I'm certainly not alone.

A few of the folks
from headquarters,

out for some exercise.

I see.

And there isn't
any witness
at headquarters?

Uh, no, sir.
I'm afraid not.

You know, Columbo,

I think possibly
I may have misread you.

It's possible, sir.

Possible.

Let's go, sir.