Original subtitles

MAN: 'Coming up direct from his Los Angeles studio,

'the hard-hitting, controversial commentator and analyst, Fielding Chase,

'who plays no favourites, pulls no punches,

'and tells it like it is.

'Stay tuned. We shall return

'following a word from your local station.'

Come on, Lois, put me through.

Yeah, I know the show's on the air.

OK, OK, I'm sorry.

Look, Vicky was supposed to meet me and this guy

here a half-hour ago.

I mean, what am I supposed to tell him?

OK, fine. Never mind.

QUIET APPLAUSE

INDISTINCT CHATTER

So?

She's not coming. I'm sorry, Lou.

The old guy's got her scared to death.

Yeah, that I could tell

by the time I got to page ten of her novel.

Love and hate all wrapped up in one neat package.

So stick around another day.

I can't, Jerry. I promised Mary and the kids

I'd spend some time up at the lake.

Yeah, but you will show Englander the book?

Soon as I get back.

You're sure it's all right with the author, I mean?

Yeah. Why wouldn't it be all right?

Look, Lou, Vicky's another Ayn Rand

trying to bust loose from her cocoon,

and you and me are going to help her.

Me, I understand. I'm a literary agent.

What's your angle?

Personal.

Oh, you mean Fielding Chase.

Well, if you're so mad at him,

why don't you quit?

I need the money.

You always need the money.

By the way, I was sorry to hear about Murray.

I know you guys were together a long time.

Yeah.

Anybody new?

Mmm...yeah.

There's Ted. He's an actor.

Works on a daytime soap opera.

Well...serious?

No. Murray was pretty special.

It's going to take some time to work things out.

Come on, let's order.

Good idea.

MAN ON RADIO: 'What I mean, Fielding, is,

'you know, man, you're always saying

'these phonies in Congress,

'they got to get their act together, right?

'I mean, like, you know, man, the poor...

'because, wow, when you think about it -

'I do, we all do -

'we're talking about there's a lot of money there.

'I mean, like, the deficit,

'wow, man, the kids are going

'to have to pay for it, right?'

NEW SPEAKER: 'I know exactly what you mean,

'my inarticulate friend.'

But you know as well as I do,

that unless and until the President is empowered

with a line-item veto,

this country will continue to haemorrhage

hundreds of millions of dollars

on dams for rivers that don't need damming

and roads that lead nowhere.

Thanks for the call.

PUNCHES BUTTON

This is Charlie from Independence, Missouri.

Hello, Charlie.

'Hi, Fielding.

'A big handshake from the hometown of Harry Truman,

'the last good president we had.'

Well, that's debatable,

but since I don't like to speak ill of the dead,

let's move on to a livelier topic.

'But I want to talk about Harry Truman.'

Well, I don't. Goodbye, Charlie.

Margaret from Blossom, Texas,

you're on the air.

'Fielding, you dear man,

'I'll be 80 Tuesday.'

Well, bless you, my darling,

and a happy birthday to you.

'Why, thank you.

'You know, all this stuff I keep hearing

'about this big hole in the sky over Antarctica,

'it's frightening me.'

Oh, yes. The mysterious ozone depletion.

I'll tell you what, my darling,

I'm going to send you a copy of my book. You read chapter nine.

It destroys the environmental Chicken Littles

who would scare decent people like you.

Thank you for your call,

and God bless you, sweetheart.

That was Margaret from Blossom, Texas,

and speaking of large holes

filled with nothing but a vacuum,

my guest next Wednesday, the 14th,

is none other than that distinguished senator from back east -

you know who I'm talking about -

the honourable Gordon Madison,

who will demonstrate to you good people once and for all

why he should be banished permanently

to those good old cotton fields back home.

So what happened?

I told you I couldn't come.

You said you'd get a replacement.

Well, I couldn't. That's all.

When I told him I wanted the night off,

he had a terrible fit.

Yeah, I bet he did.

Come on, Jerry, I can see one of your friends anytime.

Look, Vicky, Lou Kaitin's more than just a friend.

He's a literary agent,

and he loves your book.

My book? You showed him my book?

Jerry, I gave that to you to read, nobody else.

What were you going to do with it, anyway,

leave it on your closet shelf for the next 30 years?

Vicky, he loves it.

He thinks it's brilliant.

Well, look, that's very flattering, but...

But what? You worried about him?

Vicky, you are not his property.

You've got to get on with your life.

There's a big, terrific world out there.

Fielding Chase - news next, back in five.

'And we're out.'

Oh, Mr Winters.

I was under the impression you were back east,

tracking down a story.

Yeah, a RUMOUR, Fielding, and it was tracked.

You got my report. It was a dead end.

I don't agree. When I see wisps of smoke

curling up and around Gordon Madison's elegant coiffure,

can flame be far behind?

I busted my butt on that cockamamie lead you handed me.

It was nothing, and you know it was nothing.

You see how they turn on me, Victoria?

Two years ago I plucked this fella from a police beat

on a second-rate newspaper in a third-rate city...

Taking me from total obscurity

to complete anonymity.

Thanks, Fielding.

Mr Winters, I do not suffer ingrates well.

Perhaps it's time to terminate our arrangement.

Dad, please.

What, I'm fired? Good.

Thanks again. I could use the severance pay.

To say nothing of the unemployment cheques, for as long as they last.

Let's go, Victoria. We have less than 60 seconds.

Look, Vicky, I'll call you later.

Mr Winters, you will NOT call her later.

How about if she decides that?

Do you have to keep goading him like that?

Oh, Victoria.

OK, so you're both a couple of pigheaded egotists,

and tomorrow you'll hire him back again as usual.

Not this time, Victoria.

'Six seconds, Mr Chase.' Dad...

Not now, Victoria. 'Four...three...two...'

And we're back for another hour of National Focus.

Your obedient servant Fielding Chase,

ready and able to chat with the brightest of you fuzzy brains,

and the inarticulate need not bother dialling.

The valuable time of my tens of millions of listeners

is far too precious to waste...

TELEPHONE RINGS

Hi, this is National Focus.

What do you want to speak to Fielding about?

Mm-hmm, and what's your name?

Don't tell me what he said, Phil.

The senator contradicts himself every time he says hello.

'This happens next week?'

Next Wednesday night.

I intend to tear that pretentious popinjay to shreds.

'Why is he even doing your show?'

He's doing the programme because he wants

to be re-elected.

He's also operating under the delusion

he can best me in a battle of wits.

'Fat chance.' My sentiments exactly.

Double-check the quote he made to the union

so I can read it back to him word for word.

'You mean that Teamsters quote?'

Exactly. Thank you, Phil.

Ooh, that smells good.

It's a peace offering on behalf of Jerry Winters.

My God! What is your interest in that man?

It can't be romantic.

He's a friend, that's all.

No, Victoria. He's a cheap, no-talent hustler,

who's using you to further his own ambition.

Dad, he's not like that.

How would you know?

You're still just a child.

For God's sake, I'm 25 years old.

Anyway, um...

"Anyway, um", what?

Well, you're going to find out sooner or later anyway.

I've written a book, a novel.

A novel?

I'm stunned.

I know you don't approve.

I didn't say that. I'm surprised, that's all.

Jerry's found me an agent, and he thinks it's good, Dad.

And he says he can find me a publisher.

Victoria, I couldn't be happier or prouder of you.

I just wish you had let ME read it

before some stranger.

Well, I guess I was afraid

you wouldn't think it good enough.

Well, that's nonsense.

Besides, what I think of it isn't the point.

This agent, is he any good?

His name is Lou Kaitin,

and he's with Lionel Englander in New York.

Englander... well, he's the best.

Lionel and I go way back.

If you need any help, count on me.

I have an extra copy upstairs.

I'll put it on your nightstand.

Of course.

VICKY: Thank you.

TELEPHONE RINGS Yeah.

'Yeah, yourself, old buddy.'

Hey, Lou. Where are you?

In my office, where else?

What happened to Mary and the kids at the lake?

Sally got tonsillitis. We found out the lake was polluted.

Listen, Jerry, when I got back four days ago,

I took Victoria's novel to Englander, like I promised.

- And? - He hated it.

That's a bunch of crap.

I know. There's something else.

When I was in Englander's office this morning,

he got a call from Fielding Chase.

These two guys are old friends.

There might be a connection.

It can't be. Chase doesn't even know about it.

Are you sure about that?

Now, if you'll allow me to conclude

on this note of levity -

even a talk-show host knows when to leave them begging -

I want to thank you all for allowing me

to spend these all too brief moments with you.

God bless you all.

Thank you.

Thank you, Fielding,

for sharing your thoughts with us today,

and in appreciation,

the Alfred Kentworth Realty Group

would like to present you with this cheque

for $25,000.

A donation to the Fielding Chase Foundation

to help you continue your good work.

Thank you.

Fielding.

Good afternoon, Mr Winters...

Hey. And good afternoon.

That was quite a performance in there, Fielding.

25,000 bucks. Jeez.

Last time I looked,

you were about to barbecue those guys

over an open fire.

I guess money talks, huh?

If that's an accusation, my friend,

be prepared to back it up in court.

How those schmucks waste their money is their business.

I want to talk about Vicky's book.

Book?

Look, I just talked to my friend in New York.

You had her novel rejected.

That's a lie.

You want me to prove it?

I'm a pretty good investigator, remember?

I'm warning you once, my friend. Stay away from things

that are none of your business.

Vicky is my business.

I think not. Her future is with ME,

not off pursuing some meaningless pipe dream

of a literary career.

You know what your problem is, Fielding?

You're a sick, possessive old man.

You want her tied to you forever.

She's my child.

She's not your child. She's your foster daughter.

And you want my opinion? Your attitude towards her isn't exactly fatherly.

Ho ho! I guess that must have hit

pretty close to home, huh?

Stay away from her, Winters.

Why? What are you going to do, kill me?

Yes.

How, talk me to death?

Let me tell you something, old man.

I'm not only going to take you down professionally,

I'm going to take away Vicky, as well.

You count on it.

A disgruntled employee...

ex-employee.

Quite honestly, Mr Chase,

the senator is doing this broadcast

against my advice.

Afraid he can't handle himself?

I can always debate an empty chair.

Come to think of it, the chair might be more responsive.

The senator is more than capable

of handling you and your listeners,

providing we're playing on a level field.

Meaning?

Meaning no dirty tricks, no rigged phone calls.

I don't need any help outthinking the senator,

but I won't be tossing him any softballs, either.

No, I don't suppose you will.

Until Wednesday, then.

This is going to be fun.

Oh, by the way, I heard from Senator Clavins.

He's looking for a guest spot a couple of weeks from now.

Call his people and see if you can work things out.

I can't. I mean, look.

I'm not going to be here in a couple of weeks.

What do you mean?

I mean I'm flying to New York next Tuesday with Jerry.

But why? You know why. He told me what happened -

the fight in the hotel,

how you killed my book with Englander.

No, Victoria.

No, don't tell me no, Dad.

Don't lie to me.

You told me you liked it.

I do. It's good,

but I know in my heart...

as you do...

it's not the best work you're capable of.

Don't you understand the position you're in, child?

As my foster daughter,

you will come under terrible scrutiny.

My enemies will be waiting to carve you into pieces,

to hurt me by hurting you.

Dad, I'm not sure that's true.

Well, I am, Victoria. When your mother died 15 years ago,

I gave you more than my name.

I took you into my home and my heart,

and I swore that I would do everything in my power

to nurture you and protect you.

Dad...

Don't you understand that everything I've done

has been for you?

And when I'm gone,

everything I have will be yours.

I'm sorry. You know how grateful I am,

but this is something I have to do.

Come on. It's not like I'm running away from home.

You'll always be a big part of my life,

but, please, you have to let me do this.

PHONE RINGS OUT

PHONE RINGS Hello.

Hello, Jerry. Fielding Chase.

I've just talked to Victoria.

Look, if you called to threaten me again...

No, nothing like that. Oh, Jerry, I'm so sorry.

I lost my temper,

and I said some things I shouldn't have.

Well, I can't help you, Fielding.

She's determined to go.

I know, and I won't try and stop her.

I just want to work things out as amicably as possible.

Meaning what? I think that I can be helpful

to both of you.

Look, Jerry, I'd like to meet you tomorrow,

'say, late in the day.'

Would you do me a favour? Would you call me at the house at 4.00,

And we can arrange to get together?

Jerry, I can't beat you on this one.

I just want to salvage something.

OK, I'll call you.

Tomorrow, 4.00.

I'll be waiting for your call,

and thanks, Jerry.

You won't be unhappy.

I promise.

OK, so it's all set.

Yeah. Vicky and I will be flying in Tuesday afternoon.

I got us booked at the Wyndham.

Chase can't be too happy.

He's not... neither was Ted.

You broke it off?

This morning. He actually took it pretty well.

I think he saw it coming.

Lou, you're not hearing me.

I don't want a dime for this.

Come on. Not even a finder's fee?

Me? Yeah, well...

I'll find something.

To tell you the truth,

this job's been making me feel real dirty

for a real long time now.

No, nothing. I mean it.

Look, I'm doing this for Vicky.

The kid needs a break.

Yeah, I remember,

but, hey, what's money, anyway?

CLOCK CHIMES

Look, if things get really rough,

I can always write a book.

Look, old buddy, I got to run.

The old man wants me to call him.

I don't know. Some last-ditch attempt

to save face.

It's not going to work,

but it'll be fun to hear him grovel.

I'll see you Tuesday. Bye-bye.

PHONE RINGS

BEEP

'This is Fielding Chase.

'I can't come to the phone right now,

'but please leave your name and number.'

BEEP

'Fielding, it's Jerry.'

You wanted me to call, OK.

Jerry. Oh, I'm sorry.

I was...outside when I heard the phone ring.

'Yeah, so what's the deal, Fielding?

'I've been hanging around here alone for the last hour'

waiting to make this call.

I know. I'm sorry.

Well, if you want to know the truth, I...

DOG BARKS

Jerry, what happened?

I thought I heard shots!

Answer me!

Jerry, are you all right?

'911 emergency.'

I think a man has been shot.

'Shot, sir?' I was talking to him on the phone,

and then I heard the sound of shots,

and then he didn't respond.

'Take it easy, sir. To whom were you speaking?'

His name is Jerry Winters,

986 Amethyst Road, the Palisades.

I'm on my way there right now.

'What is your name, sir?'

Fielding Chase, 24600 Cold Creek Road, Malibu.

'We'll send a unit immediately.'

Please hurry.

SIRENS BLARE

Officer, I'm well aware I'm being a pest,

but you did say a homicide detective is on his way.

Yes, sir. Should have been here by now.

You know, Mr Chase, I'm not sure you really have to stick around.

I mean, considering who you are and all,

I could just give the lieutenant your name and number.

No. It's important that I talk to him personally.

Davis!

Excuse me.

CAR BACKFIRES

BACKFIRE

There you are, Lieutenant.

Hey, Davis. What have we got?

White male named Gerald Winters,

age 31, shot twice in the back, once in the head.

Doc says he was probably dead when he hit the floor.

Gun's over there.

I know this is a silly question,

but I don't suppose we got a witness.

Funny you should ask.

You're kidding.

Not an eyewitness, sir...

an EAR witness.

Lieutenant.

See the fella in the Mercedes?

His name is Fielding Chase. He's got a radio show.

Maybe you heard it.

No, I don't think I have.

He was on the phone talking with the victim when the guy got shot.

No kidding! Yes, sir.

You mean on that phone that he's got there?

No, sir. He was at his house in Malibu.

Oh.

You know, I'm thinking of getting me one of them.

What's that?

One of those, er, whatchamacallit phones like he got, um...

Cellular. Uh, cellular - cellular phone. Yeah.

Why do think they cost?

Jeez, I don't know.

You know, there's talk - oh, I don't believe it -

that you can get cancer from using them?

You believe that?

Cancer? No. Nah, I don't believe it.

I'm gonna check with my cousin Dominick cos wherever he goes,

he's got one of those things stuck in his ear,

and I don't see no tumour growing out of his brain.

Ha ha ha!

Yeah. At the beach and in his car

and with his stockbroker all day long.

Yak yak yak yak.

He says the phone made him a lot of money.

Have you got a stockbroker, Lieutenant?

Who, me? No. I'm lucky I got a savings account.

No, I'm thinking of calling my wife.

Ah. "Hello. It's me.

"Guess where I'm calling from.

"Wrong.

"The car."

Ha ha ha!

Lieutenant, Mr Chase, he's real anxious to talk to you.

Just let me look around here a minute.

Thank you. We'll call you if we have to.

No, Arthur, I am not using Jerry's death,

and I resent the implication.

The man was an investigator in my employ,

and there might be a connection.

Would you mind? This is a very important call.

Oh, I'm... I didn't realise. Sorry.

I-I'll just wait here, sir.

Arthur, do you want me to spell it out for you?

"Crack investigator killed under mysterious circumstances.

"What were the stories he was working on?

"Was he shot to keep him quiet?"

Oh, I don't know.

"Fielding Chase outraged,

"determined to see justice done."

Good. Call me at home later.

We'll talk about setting up a press conference.

Uh, Mr Chase?

I'm sorry, I don't have time right now.

I'm from the police, sir.

Uh, Lieutenant Columbo, Homicide.

I'm terribly sorry, Lieutenant.

This has been a dreadful experience for me.

Did the officer inside tell you what happened?

Yes, sir. He told me that you and the victim

were talking on the phone when he was shot.

Bizarre.

I heard all these noises, shots,

and I called out his name.

No response.

Nothing.

As soon as I realised what had happened,

I called 911 and drove over here immediately.

The police were here when I arrived.

When was that, sir?

I'm not sure exactly.

About 4.30.

Jerry called...4.00.

I live in the Malibu mountains.

About 30 minutes, that's about right.

Oh, Officer Davis tells me

that you have some kind of a radio show.

Yes.

It's a, er, listener call-in show.

Our topics are social, political.

Jerry was my chief investigator.

I couldn't help overhearing that conversation

you had with this fella Arthur now,

and, er, I just wanted to ask you,

do you really believe

that, er, Mr Winters could have been killed

by someone he was investigating?

Without question. I have powerful enemies out there.

Either that...

or...he was shot in the back

by a jealous boyfriend.

A boyfriend, sir? Yes.

Jerry was gay, Lieutenant,

not that his sexual orientation

made any difference to me,

but those people do have a reputation for unusual behaviour.

I wouldn't know, sir. You know, most of my experience

has been with crazy husbands killing wives

and crazy wives killing husbands.

Yes. I know what you mean.

In the event that Jerry's death

was related to his work,

I have files at home. Why don't you come back with me?

I'll turn them over to you. They could provide you with a lead.

Oh, well, that's very generous, sir,

but I still have some work to do here.

No problem, I'll wait right here.

You sure it's no bother?

Not at all.

What matters most is bringing Jerry's killer to justice.

Take whatever time you need.

Yes, sir. Absolutely.

Oh, one more thing, sir,

er, Officer Davis tells me

that you never actually went inside the house.

No. I wasn't permitted.

Uh, it's a little odd, sir,

because just a second ago

you said Mr Winters had been shot in the back.

Yes. I was wondering -

just wondering -

how you knew that, sir,

when you hadn't seen the body.

I presume if Jerry saw someone standing in his house

with a gun in his hand,

he might have made some small mention of it to me

while I was speaking with him.

Ha ha! Yeah! Good point.

You're absolutely right, sir.

Yeah. Excuse me.

I'll just be a few moments.

Whew!

Wow! This is some house, sir.

Yes. It took me nearly four years to build.

You don't have a drip, do you?

Drip, sir? An oil leak.

I'm particular about the appearance of my driveway.

Oh, you mean my car. No, sir. She's fine. Tight as a drum.

I just had her checked.

I'm relieved.

My feeling is you got a classic, you take care of it.

No, sir. You don't have to worry about that baby.

I have some material here in the desk.

Yes. Here we are.

Here's something we were doing on chemical wastes.

Another-payoffs to state legislators.

That's odd. I thought there was more material here at home.

Dad? My daughter.

Victoria! In here!

I just heard what happened to Jerry on the news.

I know.

I know, I-I just came back from there.

This is Lieutenant Columbo of the Homicide Division. My daughter Victoria.

- Ma'am. - I was talking to him on the phone

when it happened.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Victoria, there's a possibility

that Jerry's death might be connected

with a story he was investigating.

I'm turning over his files to the lieutenant.

We think there might be a lead here.

Oh.

Well, I don't know about the two of you,

but I suddenly feel the need for a stiff drink. Victoria?

No, thank you. Lieutenant?

On duty, sir.

Right. Well, if you'll excuse me.

Oh, Victoria, see if there are any messages, will you?

I forgot to check the machine.

My condolences, ma'am.

I gather you were close to the victim.

Yes, very.

'You have four messages.

'First message, time 4.02pm.'

BEEP

'Fielding, it's Jerry.'

That's Jerry and Dad.

'OK,'

That's the victim - Mr Winters? 'Jerry?'

That's him talking?

Yes.

'I was outside when I heard the phone ring.'

'Yeah, so what's the deal, Fielding?

'I've been hanging around here alone for the last hour,

'waiting to make this call.'

'I know. I'm sorry.'

'Well, if you want to know the truth, I don't think...'

GUNSHOTS

Oh, my God! 'Jerry!'

Oh, my God. 'What happened?'

Turn it off!

Oh, Victoria, I'm so sorry.

I completely forgot.

I picked up Jerry's call

just as the machine started to record.

Oh, God.

Poor girl. I'm such an idiot!

This is incredible, sir.

We have the murder on tape.

I was outside when I heard the phone ringing.

By the time I got inside, the machine had already started to record.

Lieutenant, please forgive me.

I must go be with my daughter.

Oh, I understand, sir. I'm going to have to take the tape.

Yes, of course.

There might be something on here

that will give us a lead to the killer.

I don't know just what.

Lieutenant, I want this person, this fiend,

brought to justice, no matter what it costs.

I'm prepared to offer a substantial reward.

That's very generous of you, sir.

It may not be necessary.

If there's anything I can do, anything at all,

I'm at your disposal 24 hours a day.

Thank you, sir. I appreciate it.

Once again...

my deepest sympathies on your loss.

Thank you very much.

HE EXHALES

KNOCK ON DOOR

KNOCKING

Victoria.

It's open.

Victoria...

I'm so sorry.

You should never have had to hear that.

I didn't realise until it was too late.

That's all right.

The person who did this -

I promise you -

I will see it that he's brought to justice,

however long it takes, however much it costs.

I know you have your heart set on leaving Tuesday.

And if you still want to go,

I won't try and stop you.

It's not important.

Well, of course it is.

It's just that I'm...

as devastated as you are.

I need you now more than ever.

Dad, don't worry about it.

I'll stay.

The rest of it can keep.

ORGAN PLAYS

Of the many ways you think a friend might die,

this isn't one of them.

Ted, why don't we sit down?

Just give me a moment, please.

Did you send a card?

Yes, yes, Gloria, I did.

I don't know.

- Leave your card here. - Lieutenant?

Ooh, er, good evening, ma'am.

I didn't expect to see you here.

Are you in the habit of attending the memorials for your victims?

Not as a rule, ma'am.

Actually, this is in the line of duty.

Is there someplace we can talk?

Out there?

That'll be fine.

Uh, ma'am, I thought maybe you could help me

because, well, you and the victim were close friends,

and, er, well, I do have this problem.

What sort of problem, Lieutenant?

Um, the house where Mr Winters lived -

at the time of the murder,

we ascertained that all the doors

and all the windows were locked,

no sign of forcible entry,

which led me to believe

that either he let his killer in, which is unlikely,

or the killer had a key.

Yes?

Which would indicate a friend...

A...close friend.

We checked the telephone records,

and there were a great many calls

to a Theodoure Malloy.

Ted.

Yes. He and Jerry were close.

Uh-huh.

When you say "close," ma'am...

I mean very close.

Yes, ma'am, I've been led to believe that.

I just want to make sure

we're talking about the same thing.

They were lovers, Lieutenant.

Is that what you're trying to ask me?

Yes, ma'am. Yeah. Something like that.

Uh, this Mr Malloy,

would he have a key to Mr Winters' home?

Well...yes.

I suppose he would.

Yes. I'm sure he does, Lieutenant.

As a matter of fact, so do I.

You, ma'am? Really?

Yes. We would often work on stories together,

sometimes at his home.

Our relationship was professional,

and he was a good friend.

Oh, I never thought anything else.

This key of yours, ma'am, do you have it now?

Yes. It's in my purse.

You know, it's funny. When I arrived at the house yesterday

after hearing about Jerry's death,

I thought I'd lost it. It didn't seem to be on my key ring,

but I guess I was just distraught.

So you DO have the key?

Oh, yes. It was on my key ring this morning when I awoke.

I must have overlooked it.

As I said, my state of mind was not the best.

No, ma'am, I don't suppose it was.

Uh, this Mr Malloy...

is he here now?

Yes, but it's not a very good time.

Perhaps you could speak to him tomorrow at the studio.

Studio? Oh, you and he are co-workers?

No, not the radio studio. Television.

Ted is an actor on a daytime drama.

What's that? Is that like a soap opera?

Exactly. Women Who Love. Maybe you've heard of it.

Uh, no, ma'am. No, I haven't.

Maybe my wife.

She-she's crazy about those things.

Ma'am, do you mind if I ask you

where you were at the time of the shooting?

Why? Am I under suspicion?

No, ma'am, nothing like that, but you do have a key,

and I'm interested in anybody

that's got a key.

I spent the afternoon at the radio station

prepping a programme that we're doing this Wednesday with Senator Madison.

Senator? Wow!

That's some kind of radio show.

Oh, yes. My father is heard every weeknight

on 468 stations throughout the country.

And here I thought

he was some kind of disc jockey or something.

You know, to tell you the truth,

I don't listen to the radio anymore.

No. The music - I don't understand it.

Perry Como, Louis Armstrong, that I can understand,

but these rock guys, they give me an earache.

Well, thank you very much, ma'am.

I won't trouble you anymore.

It's no trouble, Lieutenant.

Oh, ma'am!

Uh, just one other thing.

Do you usually go into the radio station on weekends?

No. Hardly ever,

except yesterday was a special circumstance.

Oh, so you decided to go in

and just do some extra work?

No. My father decided.

Oh, so it was his idea

that you work in the radio station that afternoon.

Yes.

Why? Is that important?

No, ma'am, no. It's not important at all.

Thanks again.

All right! Listen up, folks! We are running way behind!

Let's go! Let's go! Come on, people! Stay alive!

Bear with me! You, with the baseball cap,

come on. Come on. Pay attention, please.

We don't have a lot of time here.

Let's go. Look alive, people!

All right! My homeless people!

The rest of my homeless people! Homeless people!

Excuse me, miss. I'm looking for...

Over there.

Over there? No. I'm looking...

Over there, and please hurry. You're late.

I'm late?

OK, let's go, folks! You, over there on the box. You two, sitting down.

You, out of the way.

All right, now, Jennifer Chambers will enter

the alley from this direction.

She's going to be wearing a silky evening gown.

There's going to be a bloody bruise on her head.

She will seem dazed and disoriented.

I want you to notice her, but for heaven's sake, folks, please don't try to act.

Preston, are we ready yet?

Yes, sir! Ready right away!

I need another homeless person for this wall!

You, you'll do fine. Stand by the wall, please.

COLUMBO: You talking to me, sir?

Yes. That's right. That wall over there.

Thank you. Nice shoes. I like the touch.

Roll tape!

I think there's some kind of mistake, sir.

I'm from the, er...

OK, here we go.

Good...

Good, good.

COLUMBO: Here it is!

What was that?

What is that?

I'm from the police, sir.

Oh, no. Cut! Cut! Cut!

What do you think you're doing?

Eric, believe it or not, I'm trying to act here...

Jennifer, I will handle this.

You're fired. Drop off your voucher. You ruined the shot.

Another one of your relatives, Preston? Lovely.

I'm from the police, folks.

You're a policeman? Yes, ma'am.

He's a cop!

Jennifer Chambers. This is bizarre.

Eric, he's from the police. Absolutely bizarre.

Who are you looking for?

He's looking for Ted.

Go, go to Ted.

Over there? Yes.

- OK, sorry. - Go.

Go.

I'm awfully sorry. Yes.

My wife is a great fan of yours.

Thank you. What's Ted done?

Uh...

Let's go! All right, folks! Let's go.

Back to one, now!

I need another bum for this wall!

Let's go!

Mr Malloy? Yes.

Uh...

Lieutenant Columbo, LAPD.

Oh, yes.

Victoria told me that you stopped by the funeral home

last evening, Lieutenant.

How may I help you?

Is it all right if we talk here? Yes.

Cos I don't want to bother anybody.

It's all right. Feel free.

Good. I just want to ask you a few questions.

I know you're busy.

Yes.

You recognise this?

No.

Take a good look.

No.

These brown stains...

do they mean anything to you?

Oh, yes.

This is... dried pancake makeup.

Yes, sir.

We found this handkerchief

snagged on a rosebush

in back of Mr Winters' home,

and we think it was left there by the killer.

Oh, I see.

Theatrical makeup, so you assume...

No, sir. I don't assume anything.

We also found minute traces of this makeup

on the gun that killed Mr Winters.

Also on the rear doorknob.

Lieutenant... I didn't kill him.

It is my understanding, sir,

that, er... you and the victim had a falling out.

No...

we started seeing each other around nine days ago,

but we knew that was temporary at best,

and when he called to tell me

that he was going to New York,

I was upset.

Did Mr Winters have other friends that were actors?

Friends, no.

Um, acquaintances...

perhaps.

Just for the record, sir,

where were you Saturday at 4.00?

Well...

normally I would be home alone, working.

I'm in the middle of remodeling my home.

But this past Saturday,

I was downtown at a department store.

Do you have anybody that can vouch for that, sir?

Oh, yes. I would, um, say

about a couple of hundred people, at least.

See, at the last moment, I was joined by two other cast members,

and the three of us were there

from 3.00 until 5.00 signing autographs.

Does that cover it, Lieutenant?

Yes, sir.

That covers it just fine.

That's it. That's a rap.

Homeless, go home. Turn in your vouchers.

Well, of course I told him I wasn't interested.

I mean, I have been taking off my clothes in six straight pictures,

and we had decided it was time

to exhibit myself as an actress, not some piece of meat.

So anyway, rather than lose me,

they just rewrote the scene.

It's a sensational film, Fielding.

Oh, I'm sure it is, and I'm sure it'll give

a boost to your career, Miss Ross,

which brings me to the topic of our lunch.

I've asked you to join me

to confirm the fact that several years ago

you had an affair with Senator Gordon Madison.

What?

No way. Never happened.

Certainly not.

I'm disappointed at your lack of candour,

my dear.

I have in my possession a birth certificate

which proves that seven years ago, back east,

you secretly gave birth to a child out of wedlock...

Now, wait a minute. After which,

you immediately put the child,

a daughter, up for adoption.

What's going on here?

Mr Chase, it's not what you...

My question - is the child Senator Madison's?

No.

Oh, really?

I have two eyewitnesses

who will swear that Senator Madison

visited you not once but several times

during your confinement at St. Anne's home.

Yes...

that's true.

I'm sorry, Howard. I should have told you,

but it was seven years ago, for God's sake.

You were 17 at the time, legally a minor.

Look, the baby was not the senator's.

My mother worked for him

as a housekeeper.

When he found out what happened, he offered to help

because that's just the kind of guy he is.

He paid a few bills and helped find a home for the baby.

I see. It's the truth!

The baby's father was a boy I knew in school.

Neither of us was ready for marriage.

Look, I know this is news,

but does it have to come out?

I mean, I made a mistake,

but don't screw up the rest of my life.

That's hardly my intention, my dear.

The purpose of our lunch was to get the facts.

Now that I have them, you have nothing to fear.

That's very decent of you, Fielding.

Not at all, Howard.

Now, may I suggest you get Miss Ross out of here

before she attracts any more attention

to herself than she already has?

You bet. Come on, kid.

Let's go get you cleaned up,

and, Deedee, say thank you to the man.

Thanks.

Waiter...

more coffee.

Yes, sir.

Collier... I've just confirmed the story.

It's as I suspected.

You call in at 8.45 on the back line.

Victoria will patch you through immediately.

And if we need to chat any further, I'll call you.

Excuse me, sir,

but may I help you?

I don't think so, but thanks anyway.

How are you, Mr Chase?

Well, thank you, Lieutenant.

Please join me. Fritz.

Oh...

thank you very much.

Say hello to Lieutenant Columbo

of the Los Angeles police department, Fritz.

Delighted to meet you, Lieutenant.

Nice meeting you, sir.

Would you care to join me in some coffee?

No, thank you.

- Dessert, perhaps? - No, I'm fine.

Well, actually, could I have

a cup of tea with honey?

Would that be too much trouble?

Not at all, Lieutenant. Thank you.

Got a little tickle in my throat.

Got a cold coming on.

You know how it is this time of the year.

My wife's been playing nursemaid to me.

She's been filling me with tea and honey for a week.

Do you feel any better?

No, sir, but I don't feel worse.

My wife, she likes to play nursemaid.

It makes her happy,

and when she's happy, I'm happy.

Well, Lieutenant, what can I do for you?

Uh...

how do you like that thing, sir?

What? The phone?

I'm thinking of buying one. Indispensable.

Really? Have you heard, you know,

there's people that are saying

you can get cancer from those things,

the radiation in your ear?

Ridiculous.

It is, huh? It's just that, er,

my wife saw this guy on television.

He said he grew a tumour.

One's liable to hear almost anything

on television these days, Lieutenant,

none of it necessarily true.

So you don't worry about it?

There's nothing to worry about?

Can we get down to business?

Oh, absolutely, sir, but first,

I got to apologise.

You know, when I first met you that day,

I had no idea.

I mean, I found this in the barbershop,

and when I saw your picture,

you could have knocked me over with a ping-pong ball.

How many people listen to you every night?

Ten million, 12 million? That's fantastic!

Thank you. Thank you very much.

And you know, when I told my wife that I met you,

she says, "You know who listens to this guy every night?

"Your cousin Dominick." She says, Dominick, he never misses your show,

not for a Dodger game, not even for the Lakers.

Very flattered.

Sir, I wonder, would you be so kind

as to sign this to Dominick?

Just to Dominick, nothing fancy.

That's it.

And then put your name.

He'll get a kick out of this.

Dominick, he don't have much of a life.

And, now...

can we get to the point,

if there is one?

Yes, sir.

It's about the tape on your answering machine.

We listened to that over and over.

There's nothing there. There's no kind of clue.

Too bad. Yeah.

You can hear the killer approach the body,

hesitate,

probably to check if it was dead,

and you can just make out

him leaving through the back door,

so we figure that's how he came in and out,

through the back.

It makes sense.

A shrewd killer would hardly

park his car out front

and prance through the front door,

where anyone could see him.

Right.

Oh, and by the way,

we found the handkerchief.

What handkerchief?

Your tea, sir.

Oh, thank you very much.

Mmm!

Smells terrific.

Yeah, there was this handkerchief out back.

It was stuck on a rosebush,

stained with theatrical make-up.

And we found traces of this same make-up

on the gun handle and the rear doorknob.

Yes...

I heard that Jerry was involved

with an actor.

Oh, is that what you think, sir,

that he was killed by an actor?

Its a natural conclusion. A lovers' spat.

These things happen.

Well, this particular actor,

er...

er, what's his name?

Um...

Twist it.

Oh, there you go.

Hey...

Hey, this is something.

Never saw that before.

Boy, live and learn.

Yeah...

er, this particular actor,

yes, Mr Malloy,

er, we, er...

we cleared him, sir.

Did you?

He got a rock-solid alibi.

Lucky fellow.

Unless, of course, he hired somebody to do it,

which, I mean that's something

a really clever killer might do,

establish an unassailable alibi for himself,

while somebody else does the dirty work.

Oh, this is hot.

And that's just the way I like it.

Anything I can't stand, it's lukewarm tea.

Anyway, sir, um...

can you think of somebody else

who might have had a motive

to kill Mr Winters?

Besides yourself, of course.

What are you talking about?

The hotel the other day.

You threatened the victim, sir,

in front of a dozen witnesses.

Oh, I see. Yes...

I lose my temper and say something silly,

and a gaggle of tourists take me at face value.

Really, Lieutenant, you can't be serious.

I have a short temper.

I must've fired and hired Jerry Winters

a dozen times in the past few years.

Well, if you say so, sir, but I got to tell you,

it's a lucky thing for you

you were on the phone with the guy

when he got killed.

Another homicide detective could've taken that threat to heart.

Well, I hate to cut this short,

but I'm due back at the radio station.

Please...

you finish your tea,

and if there's anything else, don't hesitate.

I won't, and thank you.

The tea is terrific.

I'm feeling better already.

COLUMBO: Oh, er, Mr Chase!

Excuse me!

Sir!

Just...

one more thing, sir.

And what would that be?

Uh, it's about the files, Mr Winters' files.

Yes?

I was talking to your daughter, sir, and she told me that

most of his files were back at the office and not at your house.

So? Uh, just curious, sir,

if that's true,

why you took me back to your house

and not the radio station.

Lieutenant, it's true that most of the complete files

are back at the radio station,

but I knew that my daughter

was working there at that time...

and forgive me if this sounds cowardly,

but I didn't want to be the one

to have to tell her what had happened.

If there's nothing more, you'll excuse me.

Certainly, sir.

Sorry to bother you. Thank you.

And thanks again for the tea!

Excuse me, Ms Chase. Yes?

I'm Lou Kaitin.

Oh, yes.

Since I haven't been able

to get through to you on the phone,

I flew out here this morning.

Your receptionist told me where I could find you.

Look, Mr Kaitin...

I'm sorry about Jerry.

He was a wonderful friend to both of us.

Yes, he was.

I'm sure he told you how I admire your novel.

Yes, and I'm very flattered. Thank you.

Yeah, well, what's more,

I'd like to represent you.

But I was told my book was rejected.

It was, by the man I used to work for.

I quit this morning.

Well, I'm sorry, Mr Kaitin.

You've taken a long trip for nothing.

Right now I can't think of anything

except helping my father through some difficult times.

Besides, he's promised to find me a publisher.

You can't be serious.

Fielding Chase was the man

who had your book sabotaged at my agency.

Didn't Jerry tell you this?

That is a monstrous accusation, Mr Kaitin.

Please, just leave me alone.

Ms Chase, I'm sorry.

Look, Ms Chase!

Yes, Warren.

I'll be sending you the manuscript of my daughter's novel

early next week.

No, no, my friend.

You're under no obligation to like it,

even though it is quite good.

In fact, if you could find it in your heart to DESPISE it,

I would be very grateful.

Well, Warren, I have plans for my daughter,

which do not include her

traipsing off to God knows where

like some latter-day Gertrude Stein.

And as New York's pre-eminent publisher,

your rejection,

kindly but firmly couched, might dissuade her

from pursuing this fantasy.

And for your help,

I would be... eternally grateful.

Well, thank you, Warren.

A pleasure chatting with you, as always.

Expect the manuscript sometime next week.

Dad, what is this?

This week's issue of the news report, I expect.

You know what I'm talking about.

The item at the bottom of the first page -

Ambassador Hendricks and the drug cartel.

You know it isn't true.

Do I?

Research checked this out with three different sources.

These allegations are completely unsubstantiated.

Unsubstantiated, maybe, but true or false, the story has merit.

You can't do this!

Victoria, we're in a war with these people.

The only way to beat them

is to attack and expose, attack and expose.

I'll leave the pussyfooting to the politicians.

My name is on the masthead

as associate editor.

I can't be a party to this. Sorry.

Victoria! Victoria, wait! Victoria!

Victoria! I'm sorry.

You're absolutely right.

Does that mean the item's out?

Until I can have it reinvestigated.

Satisfactory? I suppose so.

Can we have a smile? Bigger smile?

Come on.

Find something to replace the item.

We go to press at midnight.

I'll see what we have.

HE WHISTLES "This Old Man"

TELEPHONE RINGS

COLUMBO HUMS "This Old Man"

Oh, hello, Mr Chase. Lieutenant.

I was going over Mr Winters' case files.

Your daughter said it was OK.

And have you come up with anything?

Not much, sir, no.

Well...

that's not exactly true.

There is one thing that bothers me.

You burning ragweed in here,

or did somebody die?

Oh, excuse me, sir.

That'd be my cigar.

Let me get rid of that.

Yeah, it's a filthy habit.

I should've given it up a long time ago.

Yeah, er, you know,

even my wife has been yelling at me.

The other night, she put me out on the porch.

No gun?

Beg your pardon, sir?

No gun. You're a character. I'll have to remember that.

Oh, thank you, sir.

You mentioned there was one thing?

Uh, right, sir,

and it was nothing that I found.

It was something that I didn't find.

What are you doing?

Well, I'm trying to get the smell out, sir.

The windows don't open. Forget the smell.

What was the one thing you didn't find?

Well, sir, did you know that in all these file folders,

all 33,

there's only one that has anything to do with an actor?

Actually, an actress by the name of...

Deidre Ross. I'm familiar with Jerry's workload.

What's your point?

My point, sir, is because of the handkerchief -

you remember the handkerchief?

Yes, I remember.

It had the theatrical make-up on it?

Yes, I remember.

And there were traces of this make-up on the gun...

And the door handle. Yes, I remember.

Exactly.

So my point is...

is that...

oh, my goodness. Smoke, sir.

Smoke.

I'll just put a little coffee on it.

Where was I now? Oh, yes.

My point...

my point, sir, is that...

the presence of the handkerchief

rules out everybody in the files,

all 33 people.

What a sweeping statement.

Well, sir, I thought...

like everyone else...

that the handkerchief was used to wipe off the prints.

Uh, none of those people in the files, sir,

none of them use theatrical make-up.

So, there's no reason for it to be there.

Why was it there?

There's no explanations for it being there,

unless someone planted it deliberately

to point us at the actor.

I never thought of that.

Well, why would you?

I mean, you wouldn't.

But why would that rule out all the people in the file,

all 33 of them?

I just don't know, sir, how people like this -

politicians in Washington, Wall Street brokers -

how would these people know that nine days ago,

Jerry and Ted started a gay relationship?

I mean, those fellas, they were very discreet.

I see.

You're right, of course.

The killer would have to be someone

who knew Jerry personally.

There you go, sir. That's the ticket.

Well, I wish I could help you.

But, quite frankly, I knew very little about Jerry

outside of the office.

Our relationship was strictly business.

Well, you were at his house.

You're mistaken.

I don't think so, sir.

No, I don't think so. Ah, here it is.

"April 2nd, birthday party for the deceased,

"Sunday afternoon."

Photo - you and your daughter around the cake.

Oh, I've been to his house.

I thought you meant recently.

Oh, did I give that impression, sir? I'm sorry.

But you were at his house for that birthday party.

Oh, yes. A dull, inferior affair it was.

If there's nothing more...

Not a thing, sir. You go right ahead.

I'll just gather up these files

and return them to your daughter.

Oh, er, Mr Chase?

Uh, there is, er, sir,

just one more thing.

With you, there's always just one more thing.

Do you have a problem with short-term memory?

Perhaps you should consult a physician.

Uh, maybe we could discuss this privately in your office.

I don't have the time.

Sir, I'm having trouble with the phone call.

Five minutes, but only five.

Here's the thing, sir.

We check phone records as a matter of routine.

For example, Mr Winters,

he called the radio station a lot, obviously,

also Mr Malloy,

also Mr Lou Kaitin, literary agent.

Oh, and by the way, I spoke to him briefly.

He says that he's interested in representing

a book written by your daughter.

Would you get to the point? Sorry, sir.

Well, er, we not only checked out

Mr Winters' phone, sir,

we checked out yours.

Mine?

Your house in the mountains out in Malibu.

And here's my problem, sir.

You said that you spoke with Mr Winters

and that you heard shots,

and then when he didn't answer you, you called 911.

Then you got in your car,

and you drove to Mr Winters' house.

Well, sir, that's not true.

The phone company has no record

of your having made a 911 call from your house.

Is that it. Is that your problem?

Good lord, Lieutenant,

you waste more time worrying about minutiae.

Sir, I don't think it's minutiae.

I never said that I made the call from the house.

Are you sure about that?

Absolutely! I was so distraught with what I heard

that I rushed down to the car to drive to Jerry's.

It was only when I was actually on the road

that I had the presence of mind to notify the police.

I called 911 from the car phone.

From the car!

Well, there you go, sir.

That explains it.

If that is finally it...

And that explains the other thing.

What other thing?

The time, sir. I've really been troubled by the time.

What are you talking about?

Well, sir, you have one of those

computer-voice time codes on your answering machine.

And when I played back the tape,

I was able to place the time of the shots

at exactly 4.02.

Yes, Jerry called precisely at 4.00.

And 911 has a record of receiving your call at 4.06.

And I'm thinking all day,

what did you do during those four minutes?

I mean, four minutes is a long time.

But, yes, now I see what happened.

You heard the shots,

then you ran from the house,

you got in your car,

you started the car down the road...

And then when I had the chance to think more clearly,

I called police emergency.

You don't know how glad I am to have this explained to me.

I was beginning to think I was going out of my mind.

Well, sir, I don't want to take any more of your time.

I know you're busy, but I do want to thank you.

Thank you very much.

CAR BACKFIRES

BUZZ

Martha!

Martha!

Good morning, Mr Chase.

Good morning.

Is my daughter up yet? I'd like to talk to her.

Oh, she left, sir, just as I was arriving.

She said she had some work

to catch up on at the office.

So early? Would you like some breakfast, sir?

No. Later.

What's that, sir, is that smoke?

CAR BACKFIRES

Mr Chase!

Mr Chase!

Well, well, well, the ubiquitous Lieutenant Columbo,

and it's only 8.47.

Martha, a funny little man from the police department

is going to make an appearance.

I'll be in the exercise room.

I'm at the gate!

Didn't open!

Thank you very much!

Sorry for the trouble.

BACKFIRE

Good morning, ma'am. Lieutenant Columbo.

I'm here to see Mr Chase.

Come in. He's expecting you.

May I take your coat, sir?

That's all right. I don't think I'm going to stay long.

Uh, your name is, uh... Martha, sir.

Ah, Martha.

I was here on Saturday. I didn't see you, Martha.

I work only weekdays, sir.

Mr Chase and his daughter prefer their privacy on weekends.

This way, sir.

'Stay tuned for the news at noon

'on WLBD Channel 6,

'following this public service announcement.'

BIRD CRIES

CHILD: 'He protects all living things

'in the forest.

'But he can't do it alone.'

Good morning, sir!

Good morning, Lieutenant.

I hope I'm not intruding.

As a matter of fact, you are.

It's the time of day I work on my muscle tone,

as well as catch up on the news of the day.

I have a very important broadcast this evening.

Right, sir. The senator.

I'll try and make this brief.

Uh, just let me get rid of this.

Don't bother with the cigar, Lieutenant. It's quite all right.

It'll just take a second, sir.

'News at Noon.'

Am I going crazy?

Did he say noon?

It's just 9.00.

That's the east coast feed.

Sir?

The satellite dish is picking up an east coast station.

Satellite?

Yes, Lieutenant.

Cable TV hasn't yet reached into this wilderness.

Because of the mountains, we can't get a decent picture

from normal television signal.

Consequently, most of us out here

have a satellite dish.

Satellite? You know, I've heard about those.

A fella told me - true?

You can get maybe 100 channels on this.

Try 200.

You said something about brevity.

Oh, yes, sir.

Would it be possible, sir,

to turn down the TV?

This is kind of important.

'A way to spend the day

'was to attend the 38th annual air show...'

In the interest of getting things going...

TURNS TV OFF

I'm having a problem, sir, er,

with the key.

The key.

What key?

It is my belief that whoever killed Mr Winters

let himself in unobserved

with a key through the back door,

but when we started checking around,

there weren't that many people with the keys.

Perhaps there was no key.

Perhaps the killer was in the house having been let in earlier by Jerry.

Uh, no, sir. On the tape,

the victim very clearly states that he was alone.

All right, there was a key.

What's that got to do with me?

You, sir? Nothing,

but it may have a lot to do

with your daughter.

What about her?

We've been able to identify only four people, sir,

that had keys to Mr Winters' apartment,

and all four have unshakable alibis,

all except your daughter.

That's...

my daughter was working that afternoon

at the radio station.

Uh, not exactly, sir.

She was working in your offices in the building,

and working alone.

Very frankly, I can't find anybody

who can verify her whereabouts

at the time of the shots.

This is ridiculous.

She could have easily come and gone undetected.

I mean, I can see the scenario, sir.

She makes up some kind of an excuse

about having to work...

Lieutenant, you're a fool.

Not only is your notion preposterous,

but it was my idea

that my daughter spend the afternoon at the office.

Your idea? My idea, and I can assure you,

my daughter did not kill anyone.

Uh, just, er, one more thing, sir.

Just a little confused.

Small thing.

Uh, you keep, er, calling her your daughter,

but actually, sir, I understand

that that is not, er, exactly true.

But she is my daughter, Lieutenant.

Perhaps not biologically,

but in every other sense.

I took her into my home when she was 10,

and I raised her as my own.

That was a very generous thing to do, sir.

Generous? Selfish.

I wanted her.

Many years ago, when I was a very young man,

I was very much in love with Victoria's mother.

Stupidly, I let her walk out of my life,

and she married another man,

and I kept track of her through the years,

and when her husband died,

I went to see her.

I don't know what I expected.

Perhaps to rekindle a flame that had never died.

But I was too late.

She told me she had cancer, inoperable,

only months to live.

I promised her that I would raise Victoria as my own,

and I kept that vow, Lieutenant.

I love that child

as if she were my own flesh and blood.

Well, I understand your depth of feeling, sir.

I'm going back to that station

and try my best to find somebody

who can clear her name.

You haven't heard me, Lieutenant.

Her name doesn't need clearing.

She's innocent.

If you insist on pursuing this lunacy,

you'll indeed be a very unhappy policeman.

Sir, I'm just trying to do my job.

Then do it away from me and my daughter.

Sir, I can be wrong. I realise that.

The light is dawning. How encouraging.

Uh, yes, sir.

Now I recall.

She said to me at one point,

that she temporarily lost her key.

Well, there you are. You see?

Unfortunately, sir,

that was the afternoon of the murder,

and that was a Saturday

when she drove up to the house,

and she thought the key was gone from her key ring,

but it turned up the next morning,

which, of course, doesn't make any sense,

because the only people in the house

at that time were her and you.

Is that some sort of accusation?

No. I-I think she probably overlooked the key

in the first place,

and it must've been there the whole time.

Wouldn't you think?

Goodbye, Lieutenant.

Can you find your own way out? Good.

You'll forgive me if I don't wish you a very pleasant day.

FIELDING: This is Beth from Carson City, Nevada.

'I have a question for Senator Madison.'

Go ahead. You're on the air.

'OK, I was wondering how do you think you're going to get re-elected, Senator.

'I mean, considering your votes on the ERA,

'it's like you don't even know or don't care.'

Of course I care, Beth,

but I don't support any measure

which legislates benefits to one particular group,

whether they be male, female,

black, Hispanic, or whatever,

at the expense of any other group.

Thank you, Senator Madison.

Thank you, Beth, for your call.

Local news next. This is Fielding Chase

here with Senator Gordon Madison.

Back in five.

Yes. Thank you.

Ahem.

Ahem.

What do you think?

You've been pulling your punches.

Calm before the storm.

In a few minutes, a call will come in on the back line.

A man named Collier.

Patch him through and put him at the top of the list.

Wait a minute, Dad. These are supposed to be random calls.

This isn't fair. Victoria, stop acting like a child.

These things are done all the time.

Right about now, this programme needs a jolt,

and Collier is going to supply it.

Dad!

Don't argue, Victoria. Just do it.

I want you to take each one of these tapes...

Excuse me, sir. I'm glad...

Go away, Columbo.

Sir, if I could have just one minute.

I don't have a minute.

I just want to apologise, sir.

I had a bad afternoon, a very bad afternoon.

After you called the mayor,

the mayor called the commissioner,

the commissioner called my captain,

and I was on the carpet for an hour.

I told you this morning,

and I'm telling you now. Stay out of my life.

I just want you to know how badly I feel.

I mean, if I had known that I was bothering you...

You were, and you are.

Now please leave before I call security

and have you removed.

My father's been under a great deal of strain

the past few days, Lieutenant.

He hasn't been himself,

but I think you should leave.

We're back in 20 seconds.

The senator - how's he doing?

He's holding his own.

The night's young yet.

And five...four... three...two...

And we're back for another hour

with Senator Gordon Madison,

who, by his own admission,

faces stiff opposition in his re-election bid this year.

Senator, thank you for joining us

on National Focus this evening.

My pleasure, Fielding. I am delighted to have the opportunity

to reach out to your many listeners,

many of whom share my philosophy, I am sure.

Many of them who don't.

TELEPHONE RINGS

You may make some converts...

Yes?

Yes. I was told you'd be calling.

Please hold.

Well, I'd say they get precious little of that around here.

Amen to that, my friend.

Now back to the phones.

This is Collier from Roanoke, Virginia.

'Mr Chase?' This is he.

You're on the air with Senator Gordon Madison.

'Look, I'm not a real big fan of yours, Mr Chase.'

Thank you(!) What else do you have to say

besides displaying your ignorance?

'But that guy you got with you,

'that senator, he's a real piece of work.'

'Hey, Senator...' Yes, I'm here.

'When are you going to tell the world about that little adventure

'you had a few years back with what's-her-name- that movie star,

'er, Deidre Ross.'

What?

'Come on, man. Everybody knows she had your kid

'then put it up for adoption.

'When was that, about like seven years ago or so?

'Not really sure?'

Sir, this is a very serious allegation.

'St Anne's Home For Unwed Mothers,

'just across the state line.

'Don't tell me you don't know about it.

'Hell, man, I got witnesses.'

Look, this is absolutely untrue.

I can explain about this.

Explain? What are you saying, Senator?

You know this woman, this actress?

Well, yes, I knew her, but I...

FIELDING: Sir, this is a grave accusation.

You say you have proof? What kind of proof?

'Medical records, adoption papers,

'eyewitnesses.'

Look, this is total nonsense.

I knew Miss Ross, of course.

Her mother worked for me.

'She was only 17, man. 17!

'If you ask me, a guy like you ought to be strung up.

'Mr Chase, I don't even understand

'why you have a lowlife like this on your programme.'

Victoria.

KNOCKS ON DOOR

Go away. I have to talk to you.

I said go away.

Please open the door.

Leave me alone. Victoria!

Leave me alone!

Please, just leave me alone!

BUZZ

Ohh.

Victoria.

Victoria, where are you going?

Who is that out there?

His name is Louis Kaitin. He's a literary agent,

and I'm flying with him to New York.

About last night, I'm sorry.

So am I.

Look, I don't want to fight with you.

One of us might say something we might regret.

So why don't we just say that I'm going off on my own

and I'm going to try and make it as a writer.

I want to help you. I told you that.

You've said a lot of things, and I believed too many of them.

Victoria, you're not leaving. I won't permit it.

You won't PERMIT it?

Poor choice of words. I'm sorry.

You know, I finally realised that Jerry was right,

but I was too frightened or loyal to listen

or too stupid to listen to him.

If I don't leave now, I'm never going to get away.

Victoria, wait. Don't leave me.

I need you.

Oh, no, Dad, you don't me.

You don't need anybody except yourself.

Never mind how you've hurt me.

What you did to Senator Madison last night was unforgivable.

You smeared an innocent man

with a despicable lie!

You don't understand. Oh, yes, I do. All too well.

I'll call you from New York.

This is your fault. You poisoned her against me.

No, Dad.

I'll destroy you, Kaitin. I swear to God I will.

Yeah, you'll try, Mr Chase, but I'll take my chances.

Victoria.

PAPERS SHUFFLE

What are you doing in here?

Oh, good morning, sir.

How did you get in here?

Uh, through the patio, sir.

Uh, Mr Kaitin drove me up this morning.

My own car's laid up in the shop.

You know, I can see the resemblance.

Beautiful woman, that lady, and warm, too.

You can see it in the eyes.

You were told to stay away from me, Columbo.

That I was, sir, but unfortunately, in a murder investigation,

you have to go where the trail leads you to.

The trail leads here?

Yes, sir. I'm afraid it does.

Perhaps if you were to speak directly

to your Chief of Police...

I'll talk to him, sir,

but that's not going to change the fact

that you killed Mr Winters

to prevent him from running off with your daughter.

Victoria running off with Jerry Winters? I hardly think so.

Fielding Chase.

I don't mean in a romantic sense, sir.

He was helping her escape from you.

We have a witness.

What witness?

A man who says you offered him $10,000

to kill Jerry Winters.

Arrant nonsense. I don't think so, sir.

This guy, he sounds very credible.

Lieutenant, do you have any idea

how many enemies I have out there,

people who would do anything,

say anything to bring me down?

Where is this person?

He's down at headquarters.

Well, suppose we just see about this.

I'll confront your witness,

and when I do, I'll destroy him,

and after that, I'll start on you

and them maybe the rest of the Los Angeles police department.

Let's go. You don't mind driving, sir?

Looking forward to it.

You know, Lieutenant, for the first time,

I'm beginning to appreciate

what some of my listeners call police harassment.

It's an ugly experience.

Sir, it was never my intention...

Oh, save it, Lieutenant.

That routine of yours is becoming tiresome.

Looks like some kind of an accident, sir.

Slow down, man. Hey!

Stop! We got somebody down.

Help us.

What happened here? Somebody get hurt?

A coyote ran across the road, and Wally fell.

It's my leg.

I think it's all right. I'm not sure.

Well, let me take a look at it.

Doesn't look like there's a break.

What do you think?

I don't know.

Have you tried putting any pressure on it?

Not yet.

Maybe you ought to try, er, standing and see.

Oh, I'm all right.

Feel all right?

Yeah, it's fine.

Thanks a lot. I appreciate it.

You're welcome.

All right, it's fine. Thanks a lot.

No problem.

ENGINE STALLS

Is there a problem, sir?

Obviously.

ENGINE GRINDS

Maybe it's the battery.

Lights work.

Why don't you pop the hood and let me take a look?

You a mechanic, Columbo?

Uh, no, sir, but whenever I have a problem,

I start pushing those wires around,

and sometimes, it works like a charm.

You push wires around in YOUR car. Mine, you will leave alone.

Yes, sir.

So, er, well, what do you want to do?

You want to call AAA?

Wonderful idea.

HE DIALS PHONE

BEEP

HE REDIALS

BEEP

HE REDIALS

What's the problem?

Can't seem to get through.

You want to try mine?

You have a phone?

Yeah, but I didn't buy it.

You know, they're $800.

I mean, I told the guy. I said,

"Look, that's a lot of money.

"And I want to try it out first."

So he gave me this as a loaner.

Is yours a Phonetek, sir?

Yes, it is.

That's what I got. I figure, get the best,

but I'll tell you the truth.

What's the number for the Triple-A, sir?

555-4111.

I'll tell you the truth,

I tried this yesterday afternoon,

and so far, I haven't been able to get it to work.

Apparently you've let your batteries run down.

No, cos I put fresh babies in here myself.

See, look at this. I can't get through.

You know what it might be?

It might be the mountains.

You know, like with your TV reception.

The reason you got that thing - that whatchamacallit-

the dish, the satellite.

The mountains.

Maybe here you can't get a clear signal. Perhaps not.

Which is odd because of what you said...

just a second, sir.

Didn't you say - yes, you did.

You said when you left your house,

after you heard the shots,

you called 911 from your car,

but how could you call from here?

You can't get a signal through.

That's because I didn't call from this spot.

It was further up the road.

I don't see how, sir, given the time frame.

It had to be somewhere around here.

Just to be sure, I came out yesterday afternoon

with, like I said, this,

and I tried here,

and I tried a mile down that way

and another mile up that way.

It doesn't make any difference.

No matter where you call from

on this whole road,

you can't get through.

You're wrong, Lieutenant.

No, sir, I'm not wrong.

You were nowheres near this place

on the day of the killing.

I suppose we could debate that,

but frankly, I think it would be a lot more productive

if we got some tools

and tried to get the engine started.

I think you were parked near Mr Winters' home,

and after you killed him, you called from HIS neighbourhood,

where you could get through.

You have the tape recording of my telephone conversation

with Jerry Winters when he was shot.

And I think we both know how you did that, sir.

The only way it could've been done.

You on the extension phone in his den

and your answering machine recording

as if you were actually at home.

The coroner said

the shots came from the direction of the den,

and the forensic guy says there were no fingerprints

on the telephone receiver in the den,

which says to me, it had to be wiped off by somebody.

Well, suppose you're right.

Aren't you behaving stupidly,

confronting me with this alone

on a deserted stretch of road?

I know you're not armed.

Uh, yes, sir, I may be unarmed,

but, er...

HE HONKS HORN

SIREN BLARES

I'm certainly not alone.

A few of the folks from headquarters,

out for some exercise.

I see.

And there isn't any witness at headquarters?

Uh, no, sir. I'm afraid not.

You know, Columbo,

I think possibly I may have misread you.

It's possible, sir.

Possible.

Let's go, sir.