Original subtitles

I'll introduce you to my family now, Jannovic.

This is Grandpa.

Grandpa!

Hello, Grandpa.

That's Aunt Mungoze. On the right is Rudi Carrell.

Udo from the German Nationalist Party, Brantlieb Spellart and Amir.

Daniel is on the bottom right. I've no idea what his last name is.

I wolfed down some salsa verde, so no one gets too close to me.

Thanks, Dad. I'll be standing next to you all day.

You're welcome to have some salsa, then you can smell it from the inside.

No, thanks.

The man with the package is Finstermann Spellart.

How are the other guys from the facility? That sweet, aggressive one?

Kriss? She opened up a fitness studio.

-Are you stressed? -Nope.

-Are you chatting online? -It's a work email.

She's writing a work email.

Finstermann Spellart. Known as Braces.

And the happy couple, radiating affection from head to toe.

That's my family.

By the way, my entire family suffers from allergies

and Dad brought birch pollen with him,

which we want to disperse to ruin the whole event.

Oh, yes, the two girls are called Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Welcome to my presentation of I Don't Give a Fuck.

Welcome to my presentation of I Don't Give a Fuck.

Aaric, can I get you anything? Coffee, juice?

Welcome to my presentation of I Don't Give a Fuck.

Welcome to...

Aaric, we are deeply sorry.

She must be here any second, I promise.

-Sorry, Aaric. -Yeah.

I always feel sorry for the catering staff at our family celebrations.

-Hello. -Hello.

That's lovely.

The party's the same as they always are.

Helene.

Can I post this to my story?

With the difference being that I'm now sort of famous.

"@vera_sternchen_sternberg, mother of three.

Proud mom of cultural influencer @helenebliblablub."

Grandpa is your classic

I'm-from-1941-and-clink-on-a-glass with-a-spoon-kind-of-guy.

As the priest said so beautifully,

"Wherever you go, I will go.

Wherever you stay, I will stay.

Your people are my people. Your God is my God.

The fountain of life rests within you.

In your light, we see light."

He loves to repeat words of wisdom.

"My people are your people. My God is your God.

For with you is the fountain of life.

In your light, we see light."

As the priest said so beautifully...

Hi.

-Hi. -Hey.

Hello. Hey.

Hi.

Right.

Nice... Helene.

Nice that you made it too, Helene.

The reason for our meeting is that Aaric wants to see

the current status of I Don't Give a Fuck.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I didn't receive any concept or anything,

but I'm sure we'll get into that.

-Helene said she sent you the update. -I didn't get it, no.

Helene has put together a few slides in the last few days

where she outlines the market position and go-to-market strategy

of I Don't Give a Fuck.

Okay.

At first, we started by looking

at where the "not giving a shit" originates culturally.

Diogenes in his barrel, for example.

Why did the guy put himself in a barrel?

Digital detox?

Or did he have a burn-out?

-Helene? -Yes?

Do you want to come to your first slide?

Okay.

And when the Emperor came to him and said,

"Whatever you wish for, you can have,"

and Diogenes said, "Stand out of my light,"

had he just taken a mental sabbatical, so to speak.

Helene?

You need to connect the cable to the iPad.

Maike is not amused.

-What does it say? -W... I...

Yes. This is our first slide. What are we trying to say here?

"Wirfffeirj eroijer"?

To love.

And to the fact we're not wearing bathing suits today.

Did you know Mom and Spellart wanted to get married in a spa?

Can you imagine Spellart in a bathing suit?

What am I talking about? You can imagine anything.

Another one.

Some people are wondering why I'm already on my third glass of mediocre prosecco.

At some point, when one's 83, enough should be enough.

Then my daughter decided,

at 50...

Sorry, darling, at 32...

to remarry.

That's one reason why I'm drinking.

All the stress. The social representation.

The other reason is who she's marrying.

A gardener to look after my ornamental cherry?

A bricklayer to build a wall between my garden and the neighbor's garden?

No.

A dermatologist.

In a family with skin type one.

But maybe that's precisely the reason.

Maybe a person with skin type one...

-Why is Grandpa so overexcited? -Spellart's given him shares in his firm.

-Seriously? -Yes.

In the laser sector.

The hunter needs a cook. The collector needs a conservator.

-Are you going to give a speech? -Nope.

-I am. -What?

Yes. This is our first slide.

What did we have in mind here?

Let's look at the top letter sequence.

"W" stands for...

whole... ability. "I" stands for...

integration. "R" stands for radical.

"FFF" stands for female, force, fellowship.

"I", no, "E" stands for equality.

"I" stands for international.

"R" stands for responsibility.

and "J" stands for...

joy.

I'd like to ask you to ponder this for a while.

She wants us to think about it for a while.

-Maybe you'll move onto the next slide? -Sure.

Maike wants her to move to the next slide.

-Helene? -Yes?

Your next slide?

Yes, sure.

It says "roeph... popeh."

"Roeph popeh."

"Roeph... roeph po... popeh."

"Miph maph moeph.

Jason's anus is home to friendly fairy folk."

Okay.

-I'm giving a speech. -My God is your God...

Oh God, you're joking, right?

With that in mind, let's raise our glasses.

And if I see anyone not drinking, they'll have me to answer to.

Cheers.

Except for those who are breastfeeding.

A bottle of bubbly is enough for them.

Can we not do it, Dad?

The pollen and your speech?

Helene, sweetie, it'll work. The pollen is very effective.

-No, I think... -What?

I'm too old for this.

Here.

-I want to say something. -What is it, Günther?

Yes, this is a tattoo.

Günther, do you really think this is the place?

I see. Really, Grandpa?

Why?

Because it's their wedding day and not everything in this family

has to revolve around the will of crazy people.

-The will of whom? -It's fine, Adalbert. It's fine.

Wallenstein is my witness.

"Live and let live."

But this isn't the place for you two to have one of your crazy digressions.

-It's okay, Adalbert. -I mean, come on.

I would like...

to say thank you.

Yes.

Thanks.

I would like to say thank you to my wife.

The woman

who until today was my wife.

Very good, Mr. Zeller. Don't forget to drink.

Can you hear me?

You can give me a non-verbal signal too.

The last time we sat here,

you managed to give me an insight into your inner life.

And now something seems to have happened.

We'd gotten to the day where it all came crashing down.

Do you need a moment?

You know that you can take a break any time, okay?

All right, we'll sit here for five minutes and take a little break.

So, Ms. Manusius...

how did you end up here today?

I simply can't take it anymore.

And where is it located, this not-being-able-to-take-anymore?

Kind of here, in my chest.

And what happens when you communicate

with this not-being-able-to-take-anymore, when you... see it?

I... I get scared.

And what happens when you see this fear?

Fuck off, Bergi.

The lives of the others are off limits.

Don't interfere in my cases.

No investigating, no spying,

no manipulating, nothing.

Hands off.

"Patient Janno von Wels.

Real name, Janno Uweknert.

Patient cites the name von Wels as his pseudonym.

After a harmonious early childhood,

the patient experienced the separation of his parents as traumatic.

Patient reports obsessive-compulsive disorder since the separation.

Event of 2017..."

Why is that redacted?

"Father, born in 1965, worked as an insurance salesman.

Committed suicide in 2014.

Patient's youth characterized by refusal to attend school."

"The patient increasingly creates parallel worlds...

through which he mentally moves.

Patient reports relief through the consumption...

of research literature.

Hobby:

Giving distant planets names, such as...

Gontrofasi...

and Törless.

D'Uguhi-Marontré."

Okay.

My dear friends...

I think we all realize this is not an easy situation.

It's just important to me that no one has a go at Helene now.

Yes, of course.

Because if we had a go at Helene, we'd ultimately be having a go at you.

It was your idea, after all. Right?

Yes. It was my idea.

Exactly. And you are responsible for both successes and failures.

Yes.

I'm sorry, Maike.

I get that you were overwhelmed, Helene.

-Do you notice anything? -What?

Before she has a chance to feel like shit even for a moment,

you let her off by being understanding.

That's right. I just wanted to feel like shit for a moment.

Sorry. I didn't want to take away your space to do that.

Again.

Could it be that it's not Helene who's odd, but you?

That the fact that this deranged woman is giving a presentation

involving three quarters of a million dollar,

that this fact is based on a huge hang-up?

That you've created this company, gathered all these thems and theys,

to work through your damn hang-ups?

"Dollars."

What?

The plural of dollar is dollars.

Right.

That was my compensation, for once.

Thanks.

What?

For letting that all out, for once.

Again?

What?

Just let me be angry!

-She's trying. -No, she's already reflecting again.

-I'm... I'm sorry. -About what?

That I'm reflecting.

You know what?

It's actually you who's deranged, Maike.

It's actually you who urgently needs therapy.

Yeah, sorry about that.

I had to do a little line of coke in the toilet.

Yeah.

That presentation...

That was about...

the dopest thing I've heard in years.

Yeah...

I mean, I need numbers.

And you will have to provide me a calculation

within a couple of days, Helene.

Perfect. Come.

Yeah. Okay.

So...

-We'll keep in touch, right? -Yeah.

So...

That's it.

Get out of here.

Out.

And... I'd like to thank Dr. Spelunzifart.

No, I'm joking. Seriously, Vera, thanks.

Thanks for the time we had.

Thank you for the evening when I first met you.

Your legs are still as lovely as they were back then.

I noticed them right away.

I've had epilepsy

since my second heart attack.

I have gastroenterological problems.

I've got skin problems. Who hasn't?

But what you see here...

may this serve as a guide for you all.

Helene, would you like to read it out?

"Amor con hambre..."

"Amor con hambre non dura."

If you do not feed love... it will die.

You two, sitting there,

you fill each other up.

My dear Vera, I could only ever love you hungrily.

But despite that, I want to thank you.

Because if we hadn't met

and hungrily made love,

like we did in Alicante in 1996 at the drive-in movie theater...

then the most wonderful,

the most brilliant,

most convoluted mega-masterpiece in the history of humankind

would never have come into being.

Helene Sternberg.

For you, my dear Vera...

to say goodbye...

Oh yeah...

Helene and I actually wanted to sprinkle birch pollen

into the air conditioning system.

We thought that you, Mr. Spellart, and all your family members

would suffer from allergies.

You just come across like people who are allergic.

But we decided against it.

So...

to say goodbye, Vera.

Press play.

-Okay? -Yes.

Open your door

Please let me in

Show me the way to your heart

I close my eyes

As you close the door

Don't let me fall too hard

Fall too hard

So, we're going to call the police now.

Let's go.

I thought you were on holiday with Helene.

I thought you were.

La police allemande recherche Helene Sternberg, 14 ans.

Elle a les cheveux bruns et la jeune fille porte un étui de...

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